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Emotional bonds, being clueless of oneself's feelings, cuteness, taking care of each other, suffering, fluff
Astarion and Tav developed a strange bond from the very moment they set eyes on each other. It was almost as if two stubborn, old souls collided when the pale elf grabbed her and pulled her down onto the dirt with him that first day down by the river and pressed his dagger to her throat. Things were never quite simple and easy for them after that. After the initial discussion of whose side they were on and who was to blame... or not, a bond between the two of them developed that neither fully understood the consequences off.
He flirted with her, quickly deciding that the charismatic sorceress was his ticket to protection and eventually perhaps even true freedom from his maker, and she flirted back, drawn in by the predator he was, but also fascinated by his strange, yet charming personality. Their campmate soon ended up watching them lead the group to countless victories, only to bicker loudly with each other afterwards, his argument was that she was too nice, too naive and forthcoming, whereas she defended her helpfulness with tooth and claw, insisting that no one deserved to suffer under the boot of another.
The group of eavesdropping companions snickered at this nearly daily events, knowing that it would end up with those two biting and fucking each other - for stress relief, they both claimed when asked about the marks left on their bodies afterwards. Riiiight, because heated feelings and repressed emotions weren´t any part of it. Sarcasm had a field day with those two.
This had been going on for weeks by now, their bond growing closer as the group of odd strangers, who weren´t really strangers anymore, made their way through Faerûn while looking for a way to cure themselves from the mind flayer parasite that had been placed in their brain, all while being dragged into a much bigger plot that seemed to threaten everyone in the long run.
They both seemed utterly oblivious to how they were growing closer to each other with each passing day, whereas the rest of the camp saw that those two were drawn to each other like moths to a flame.
Gale had watched the show unfold ever since Tavira had pulled him free from that broken sigil, had witnessed those two bicker about her decision to help yet another soul like they were an old married couple one second only to team up and fight as one against terrible foes as if it was the most natural thing in the realms. They were like two sides of a coin. Two souls connected on a deeper level and yet so different in how to face the hardships of the world.
The Waterhavian wizard picked up the topic one night when he and Tav cooked a meager dinner with leftover ingredients for the others after just getting out of the Underdark. He worried his lip, finding his courage and asked her hesitantly about how things are going with Astarion lately.
Food had been scarce for all of them, including for a vampire and all of them had picked up on how Tavira was starting to look wobbly and more than a little pale, and that the vampire was less... flamboyant. He had been holding back as much as he could on the feeding to not drain her energy fully leading up to the fight with the first of the chosen three, and yet she kept offering herself up to him to avoid him starving after the vampire had shared his past horrors with them. At least now they were back out in the sunlight again and the area around Moonrise was slowly on the path to recovery.
Gale had overheard Astarion tell Tav that she was too good for this world, and the wizard had to agree. He would have offered Astarion to feed off his wrist if not for the orb within his chest that corrupted his blood. None of the others seemed keen on letting the vampire drink their blood, but perhaps that would become necessary before too long to give Tav a chance to recover. He watched her shrug while chopping up a few vegetables to go with the rabbits they had caught.
Gale eyed the vampire who was reading a book, one he had surely nicked from Gale´s tent, that sneaky bastard., hopefully it wasn't one of his first editions this time. Astarion was hanging in there, just like the rest of them... but they had all noticed how he had changed after their run in with that drow at Moonrise.
Gale gently hinted that everyone knew that there was more to the two of them than just being comrades and travel companions, how it wasn't a secret that they were sneaking into each others tents at night, and that them slipping into the woods to see each other for more than just a hunting trip wasn't as subtle a sign of what they were really up to as those two might have hoped. The others weren´t blind or born yesterday after all.
Tav sighed, her shoulders slumping at what she feared was about to come. She didn´t need a lecture on how to live her life or whom she bedded. Astarion was... special to her, and yet she knew that feeding or fooling around with a vampire probably wasn't clever, but she liked the guy... a lot, even knowing just how damaged gods Astarion probably was... she was too after all and she still had hope that she could somehow turn her life around if only she tried hard enough. She hoped that Astarion would try too. Glancing sideways she asked if Gale was disappointed in her?
No, he wasn't, and yet he voiced his concerns for her well being. The wizard gently suggested that she might benefit from figuring out where their fling was heading, for her own sake, so she won't end up going in blindly and getting hurt in the process.
She blinked, not aware that the wizard actually cared this much for her. She noticed how the others were listening in, nodding at her, they all agreed that she should be careful around the vampire. Not because Astarion hadn´t grown on them, but because they knew his kind and how manipulative they could be, despite also witnessing how the vampire was not like other spawn. He was a different man whenever she was close.
Huffing, she wiped her hands, muttering that it´s not polite to stick one's nose into other people's business. Gale nodded and placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Just know that we care about you... We don't want to see you get hurt, Tavira.”
She nodded, sighed and wandered off, leaving the rest of the cooking to Gale. He was better at it than her after all. Astarion wasn't at the camp anymore. He had probably slipped out to go hunt now that he could, not that she cared of course, it wasn't like she longed to see him right now, was it? The sorceress went for a walk, ignoring her companions' gaze digging into her retreating back. She inadvertently ended up seeking out the spot where the vampire usually soaked up the last rays of the sun almost every evening and found him there, as predicted. She sat down next to him, watching the sun set next his side, marveling at how it painted the horizon in beautiful shades of orange.
He had his eyes closed, but he knew it was her from catching her scent and the way she moved. He didn't speak, he knew he needed to talk to her about this thing they had going on between them but didn't know how. Astarion didn´t know what this thing was, he had never felt like this with anyone before and there was another thing he needed to address too... a more serious matter that he feared would push her away and the thought of losing whatever this was...
He simply couldn´t risk losing the best thing that had ever happened to him. So he dragged it out, had put the talk on hold, and just soaked up her presence next to him after picking up on her being a little tense, but obviously not by something he had said or done for once or she wouldn´t have come here.
Tav didn't speak or touch him, but pulled up her knees and hugged them, resting her chin on their top. Her mind swirled with thoughts, considering what Gale had told her. She had been feeding Astarion almost daily since the first bite... they had begun sleeping together soon after when he had offered her compensation for her donation of blood. Not that she needed compensation. She wanted to help him because... well... um... She liked him and didn´t like to see him go hungry. Starving was hell, she knew that too well after growing up poor, and having to fend for herself despite everyone else being bigger, stronger... taking whatever they wanted from her in the past because she had been too weak to fight back. He was like her, they were the same and yet not. He confused her... and it seemed he was confused by her in return.
Tav knew that Astarion had had it so much worse than her, and yet they were similar in many ways. Fighting to survive, trying to pull free from their dark pasts even if it was incredibly hard to do so. Gale's words resonated inside her mind. The wizard told her to be careful that she wasn't just being used as a means to an end. The idea of this thing between her and Astarion being nothing more than an arrangement that involved some kind of transaction... payment in the form of sex in return for her blood didn't set right with her.
She liked the fucker, probably more than she should. He had told her that she could trust him... but could one really trust a vampire? Her eyes took him in as he groaned in regret when the sun sank behind the line of treetops, leaving them both with the twilight that was always followed by darkness. This was the first day back into the light after lifting the curse that had surrounded Moonrise. Gods, he was beautiful, no matter the lighting or the background, he always stood out and looked perfect... and yet he was just as damned on the inside as she was, if not more. Sighing, she considered how to ask him her question. Being direct was probably the best approach. “May I ask you something?”
“Go ahead, darling,” he hummed and was now taking in the sight of her bathed in shadows, wondering why she had come. Not that he´d mind, she was pleasant company... enjoyable to be around... fun, even.. but the idea of her seeking him out because she craved sex was...not pleasant, especially after what she had said when they had faced that vile drow back at the tower. Sex with her was amazing, pleasurable and gentle compared to what he had been forced to endure in the past... but with his history, and knowing that he was just using her... It was all so fucked up and complicated. he felt utterly torn on what to say or do. He liked her, he wanted more, craved more... but he would just end up ruining her if he told her that, wouldn't he? She deserved better... deserved something real, someone who would treat her with the respect and... and the love he didn´t know anything about.
“... This thing...Us...” she waved her hand between them, gesturing to their... relationship, if one could call it that. “What do you think of it?” She was being serious, wanting to hear his side of it, hoping that it was more to it than just a deal of giving and taking.
“Why darling, we are just having fun, aren't we?” The moment the words fell from his lips he felt her tense up next to him, almost as if she felt disappointed. It only lasted a few seconds before she hid it, she was almost as good at it as he was, but he had picked up on it anyway. This was for the best... wasn't it... to push her away, to give her a chance to find someone more worthy. Someone like... Gods, he didn´t want her to be touched by anyone else. The thought alone made his fingers twitch. The idea of goody goody Wyll or the hunk of a guy Halsin touching her, kissing her... fucking her... gods, his insides twisted painfully and he wanted nothing more than to grab her, pull her close and never let her go again. Instead he just sat there, watching the emotions flash in her beautiful golden eyes and how her lip quivered as if she was about to cry.
She ran a hand through her hair and chuckled, but without any amusement... It sounded gutwrenching sad. “I see... just having fun...right...” Tav swallowed the lump in her throat and pushed herself off the rock, turning to leave when she felt his cold hand on her shoulder, spinning her around to face him. She tried her best to hide the tears that were threatening to spill over. She would not let him see how much his words hurt... mostly because... Well he didn't owe her anything, and she wouldn't even be able to say what answer she had hoped for if he was to ask her. It was just a feeling... an ache inside her chest at how casual he made what they had sound when she felt so strongly for him.
“What´s the matter?” Astarion eyed her closely, her pretty eyes were glassy... She was going to cry. His strong, passionate, wild Tav crying... for him? She, who seemed to fear nothing or no one... Did she expect him to smear honey around her nose as he had all those others? She had seemed different... she was different, so what was going on in that clever head of hers? Did she... actually like him... No, that couldn't be. He was charming, yes, but liking him was only skin deep, they wanted his looks, his body and what he had been taught to perform. She couldn't possibly like what was within him, not after he had told her the truth of who he used to be when Cazador had... He swallowed hard. No, no one could love a beast like him, it wasn't possible... was it?
“Nothing... I just... I should go,” she muttered and balled her fists at her side or she would surely grab him by the collar and shake him till he got it into that stubborn head of his that she actually gave a damn about him, but she would not let him see how vulnerable she was right now, let him see how badly she needed him to hold her, to tell her he actually gave a fuck about her too... that he cared... that this wasn't just... a stupid business transaction. She slipped from his grasp and left, leaving him standing there beneath a sky full of stars... even more confused than usual.
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
Their journey continued, so did the blood drinking... The sex though stopped. Astarion couldn't figure out why. She seemed to like it, having enjoyed every touch he had skillfully laid upon her beautifully responsive body. Had he lost his touch? Had she lost interest in him? A pang of something strange ripped into him at yet another polite rejection for offering her reimbursement after she had let him feed on her delicious blood once more, offering him so much without seemingly wanting anything in return.
Usually he would have welcomed the chance to get out of a tumble... but with her it was something else than it had been with the not always merciful victims he had been forced to bed before delivering them to Cazador... or those he had been ordered to obey in any way and form to please the master´s dark desires.
With her it was.... It felt good, enjoyable, it had felt right somehow, and though he was still feeling like it was just payment for her protecting him, feeding him, being nice to him... being the first person he´d ever called his friend... it was all he had to offer in return for her generosity after all, but he didn´t hate it... not at all. What they did together when having sex was pleasant, respectful... gentle even and she never asked for anything he wouldn't willingly give. She had given herself to him fully and offered so much pleasure in return... So why did she keep turning him down lately?
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
The others hadn´t missed the change in those two's relationship lately and it was beginning to affect them all. Tav was moody and less helpful towards strangers that crossed their path, and Astarion seemed increasingly frustrated. He kept casting glances at Tav whenever she engaged in activities with any of the others... but he never approached her about it. He still hadn´t told her what he really thought of her, couldn't bring himself to risk pushing her any further away, despite that was exactly what his silence was doing. Gale noticed how Astarion seemed to frown and sneer whenever Tav spent time with especially Halsin or Wyll who always made her laugh even when she was on her worst days. The vampire looked about to blow a fuse when her shoulder bumping against her companions during their conversation, or when their hands accidentally connected while doing everyday stuff together.
Gale would have loved to swap places with Halsin or Wyll if he didn't have the orb to consider... or the obvious age gap between the young female and his middle aged human self. Tavira was a sweet girl, attractive and attentive of others and their needs, warm hearted, helpful and generous... well most of the time at least. It wasn't really that big a surprise that everyone in camp wanted a chance to be by her side, wanting to bring a smile onto her face again after whatever was going on between her and Astarion seemed to slowly wither and die.
The vampire tried to act like he didn´t mind her bonding with others, but the jealousy shone through the mask of indifference he tried to keep up, and Gale knew he wasn't the only one to see it, everyone saw it... everyone except from Tav of course.
It showed during battle too. The vampire spawn got distracted easily after Tavira wasn't instinctively fighting by his side anymore, and he was missing his mark a lot lately which sometimes created dangerous openings for the enemy. Tav usually fought side by side with Astarion, her natural arcane skills supplementing his and made them an almost unbeatable duo, but lately she seemed to focus on working closer with the others instead. The distance between the two of them grew wider by each day that passed by.
She was currently working on an attack combo with Shadowheart. The two ladies combined Tav's draconic fire spells with the cleric's light based attacks, seeing how they were getting close to Baldur´s Gate and hence to Astarion's maker, as well as the shit load of undead that kept crossing their path towards the Gate.
Tavira had just been bouncing off strategies on how to best approach the undead enemies with Halsin and Wyll back at camp, and the vampire had ended up cutting his dominant hand pretty severely when he had caught the blade rather than the hilt while playing with his dagger when Halsin had brushed a strain of soft hair behind Tav´s ear, his large hand lingering a little too long on the female elf´s scaled cheek afterwards before she had blushed at the gentle attention the huge wood elf showered her with lately.
Tav had been the first to react to the pale elf getting hurt. She had rushed to Astarion´s side, wanting to help him, but he had sneered at her, pushing her away from him which had set off another bickering match between the two of them and had driven an even deeper wedge into their strained relationship, which left both of them feeling utterly miserable afterwards, again.
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
Tavira´s team had returned to the camp first after she had split the group up in three that rainy morning to go explore the area around Wyrms Rock. She had been very aware that Astarion had not been happy with her picking to go with Shadowheart, Jaheira and Halsin to go talk to the refugees, which had left him with Wyll, Karlach and Gale to go explore the surrounding area further.
She would have preferred to have him by her side, but with how strained their friendship was lately she needed to put some distance to him. Astarion was sending out so many mixed signals that her head was spinning, and not in a good way. They were bickering more and more lately, and she wondered when he would admit to her that all he really wanted from her was her willingness to donate her blood to him and nothing else. He had even begun to feed off her wrist rather than her neck, which left her feeling like he didn´t even like her as a friend anymore.
It felt like she was losing her best friend, and all hope of something more than just being his personal juicebox was fading rapidly from her mind. He seemed so annoyed with her lately... which in turn made her feel annoyed too, hence why she added a little distance to him, giving them both a time out.
Jaheira eyed the charismatic sorceress closely and reached out to Tav when the young elven woman tripped over a root while obviously being lost in her own thoughts. The cub was infatuated with the vampire, it was clear to all who took half a second to notice how their leader kept stealing glances at the pale skinned rogue when he wasn't looking, but something was going on between those two lately, and not in a good sense of the word. It was becoming dangerous for all of them that those two couldn´t figure out what they really wanted.
Jaheira wasn't a fan of vampires, having fought against the fanged vermin that poured from the Crimson palace for nearly as long as she had fought the damned Bhaalists. Astarion was arrogant, had more defensive layers than an onion and was overly flirtatious... but there was more to the brat than he let on. Under the surface something deeper lingered. A scared, insecure boy who had been put through hell... He obviously didn´t know what he himself was feeling or how to react to it, that was the druid´s theory at least... and the cub wasn't much better off. Those two needed to talk it out before anyone got seriously injured or ended up dead.
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
Tav had left the camp on her own to hunt down dinner after her team had returned from talking to some familiar tieflings who were now stuck just outside of the city's tall walls. The others weren't back yet, and just sitting around on her ass till everyone got back wasn't her style. Going back to Worm´s Rock was of course an option, but something inside of her told her that it was better to wait and hear what the others had found out before investigating any further.
The refugees had told her that they had been refused entry to the Gate. No one was allowed in, and she needed to hear what the others had learned from their trip before they had to figure out how to enter the city without drawing too much attention to themselves. They had yet to locate Barcus and the other gnomes, and she hoped that the others might pick up a lead on something useful.
Wiping the sweat off her brow she readjusted the doe she was carrying over her shoulders. The dead animal was heavy, but it would offer them full bellies tonight and for a few days at least. They needed all the strength they could gather if they wanted to defeat their enemies.
She heard the commotion before she saw it. Agitated voices and someone crying out in pain. Something had happened to the other team, someone had gotten hurt. Tav dropped the doe as soon as she entered the camp and rushed over to the others who were struggling to push someone down. Pushing past Wyll and Karlach she froze when she saw him.
Astarion looked like he had been used as a pincushion for arrows. His body was pierced all over. His thighs, his arms, four in his abdomen... three near his unbeaten heart... one in his neck... one stuck in his eye. Gods, he was in so much pain, and to make it worse he fought back against everyone who was trying to help him. “Don't fucking touch me!” the vampire hissed and kept trying to reach for the arrow stuck in his eye with the intent to yank it out. “It hurts!”
“We know, but they need to get out before we can start healing you, you stubborn ass,” Shadowheart hissed back after slapping his blood covered hands away from the arrow in his head. “You can´t just pull at it, you might chip it or not get everything out and then you´re really fucked! Tav, help us hold him down!”
The elvish sorceress snapped out of the shock of seeing the one she cared so deeply for in such a bad shape and rushed over to them, dropping to her knees behind Astarion´s struggling form and carefully pulled him up against her so that his head rested between her soft breasts. She wrapped one arm around his upper body, holding him firmly against her before using her unoccupied hand to hold his head still. “Look at me, Star,” she told him, her lips brushing against the crown of his head before she caught the attention of his good eye from above. “Try to calm down... Let us save you.”
“... Tav...” He swallowed hard but seemed to stop struggling, if only a little, now that she was so close to him. He could feel her warmth seeping into him, he could smell the fragrance of her skin mixed in with sweat... could hear the rapid pulse of her beating heart, she was worried about him, he could sense it. She still cared about him, despite all the bickering lately.
The scent of his own blood and that of the doe she had killed, her soft, warm bosom on each side of his face and the intoxicating scent of her made him feel dizzy. Gods, he had missed being this close to her, to feel so much of her, to hear that slightly desperate pitch in her voice that told him she worried about his well being.
His body jerked and a pained cry tore through him when Jaheaira pulled the arrow out of his eye. It hurt so badly, and yet it helped that Tav never took her eyes off him, and kept whispering soothing nothings to him. Her thumb drew circles against his jaw before she leaned in and kissed his bloodied forehead when Halsin removed the other arrows from his body. With a trembling hand he reached up, catching the back of Tav´s neck when she began to move away to give the three healers space to work on him. “Please... please don't leave me,” he pleaded while focusing on her now blood smeared lips, his voice quivering in agony and longing for her. He pleaded for her to never to leave him behind, for not discarding him for someone else... begged for her to choose to stay, to give him a chance even if he knew he didn´t deserve someone like her in his life. “Stay with me.”
“Always,” he heard her whisper, it sounded so very much like a promise, against his cold as death skin and made the ache in his heart lighter. Blue light engulfed him and reflected onto her face from what little of his exposed skin was left unmarked by blood. Halsin had ripped his nice armor apart to see where he and Jaheira were aiming their healing spells. Shadowheart was focusing on fixing his ruined eye. Fixing it would take time, but because of his vampiric curse it should be able to heal eventually.
“That´s it, keep him distracted,” the cleric ordered sharply before moving on to the vampire´s still bleeding legs after covering half his face in bandages. “Keep him still.”
The pain eventually became bearable and at some point he must have dozed off, his body needing rest to be able to recover. Voices caught his attention when he tried to turn over to continue his trance which made him winched in pain. His body was sore and bruised all over, and it seemed that not all of his wounds had been fully healed yet. Being undead meant healing potions and medical spells had less effect than it had on the living, which meant he needed rest and patience.
“You got into a fight with the Gur? But... Why? Actually, never mind... The why doesn't change anything about how I see him... He survived, that's all that matters to me.” It was Tav's voice he could hear. Lovely, sweet Tav who had held him close during his time of dire need. Gods, he had missed having her close. He really, really needed to talk to her, needed to tell her about his little simple plan... and how he had ended up falling hard for her despite not wanting to.
She slipped under the flap of the tent they had managed to carry him inside once they had done whatever they could to help him and knelt next to him, her warm fingers running through his hair while she smiled softly down at him. Astarion hadn´t noticed how the conversation outside of the tent had been concluded while he had imagined her resting in his embrace after forgiving him for manipulating her feelings in the past. Gods, he hoped she´d be able to forgive him.
He didn't know that the others had filled her in on how he had lost his shit back at the Gur when they had demanded that he should help them free their children after kidnapping them and delivering them to Cazador as ordered in the past... Or how he had been the one to provoke an attack out of sheer frustration because Tav hadn´t been there to calm the situation down after Ulma had insisted that she knew better regarding the fate of their children. They didn´t know Cazador like he did, why hadn´t they listened to him when he had tried to explain that the children were long dead... The Gur had attacked him when he had refused to help, shoting him with their arrows before the others had managed to slay them all and had carried his shouting, struggling self back to camp in an attempt to try to save his sorry ass.
He had been provocative, arrogant, stubborn and reckless... He had almost gotten himself and the others killed. The Gur were monster hunters, they were damned good at killing things like him. He had been lucky to survive this mess. Tears stung in his eyes. The salty tears were especially painful in his bandaged eye that was slowly regrowing within its socket. “Tav...”
“Mmhmm?” She pulled off her robe and slid under the covers next to him, gently cuddling up to him, sharing her bodyheat with him, offering him comfort as a bonus. Sun kissed fingers brushed lightly over his wrapped up chest, examining the bandaged wounds to check if they had gotten to poison in his system under control and if there was a need for a replacement of wraps now, or if she could rest a bit by his side.
Being touched like this had always been something that Astarion hated after what Cazador had forced upon him during the past two centuries... but with her it was something else. Her touch was a very welcome distraction, but he still needed to talk to her. “Tav... I... need to tell you something...”
“Later,” she whispered and laid down next to him, closing her eyes after being satisfied by the state of his wounds and the bandages. She was so tired, she hadn´t had any time to rest yet after watching over him almost constantly since they had brought him back to camp. “You need to rest, Star.”
“But I... It's important,” he argued back which made her pop up onto her elbow. Her golden eyes found his red one. She nodded despite looking like she was about to pass out from fatigue, which she was. Tav had watched over him for the past three days after they had brought him back. She had rarely left his side, had barely eaten or slept, especially not after they had nearly lost him for good when his body had nearly given up after an unknown poison had spread throughout his body. The arrows having most likely been coated with it. Astarion didn't know this of course, he had been barely conscious at all during all that time, which had probably been for the best.
“I... I wanted to thank you... for everything you have done for me...” He licked his dry lips, swallowed hard and winched in pain when he tried to move. Gods, his body felt like he had been bulldozed by a dozen angry Rothé. What had those damned Gur done to him? “No one has ever done anything like what you did for me in the past... and still do... and I... didn´t know how to pay you back... How to thank you.”
“Astarion, I... You don't need to repay me, you never did.” She muttered, reaching up to brush a white curl back into place, her fingertips trailing down his cheek before stopping just shy of his lips. He turned his head to be able to kiss her fingers, the gesture felt natural and made both of them smile softly like the fools in love they were. “I care about you... a lot, you stubborn ass... I just wanted to help you with whatever I could.”
“... I care about you too...” What was this strange blooming feeling inside his chest? She said she liked him, but what about him was there to like? Well except for his looks and his skills in bed... but to ask her what she saw in him, he didn´t know how.
“You and me... we are our own kind of crazy, aren't we?” she chuckled and leaned in, pressing a sweet, gentle kiss to his forehead before laying back down as exhaustion took over. “That´s what the others think of us at least.”
Us... she had used the word us about the two of them. He found that he liked that term, it felt... right somehow... and yet it scared the shit out of him. What did it mean to be an us? What did one do to be with someone as special as her, were there any do´s or don't if you became an us?
Astarion didn't know what to do beyond flirting, the one night of charm and the debauchery... but there was more to it than that, wasn't there? Another question pressed on inside his mind and his chest... his past, his actions with all those people who treated him like a toy, like he was a thing to be used and not actually a person... they used him, tormented him and he never had the option to say no because of him being compelled or ordered to bend to their every will, desire and perversity.
Tav wasn't like that, he knew that she somehow saw him... the real him beneath it all... but he was tainted by what had come before meeting her. How would she react if he told her that he didn´t really want her to look at him with that kind of lust, despite him wanting to be with her, to feel her naked skin against his... to just hold her close and feel safe. “Tav?”
“Mmm?” Her eyes were closed, already half asleep after days with little to no rest. Her body was closing down, demanding time to replenish her strength through trance.
"I'd like to explore that “us” with you some more.” He stroked her silken hair and felt her body cuddle closer to his, nuzzling her face against his uninjured shoulder. He relaxed as her warmth seeped into his cold body, and he could feel hers doing the same. This was nice, just being together like this, feeling protected and cared for. This was one of those special moments that he would treasure forever no matter what the future would throw at him.
“Mmm sounds... nice...” It was a mere mumble, her mind already drifting away while her arm draped itself over his hip area that hadn´t been hit by any arrows. This time it was his turn to watch her sleep, all while wondering if she had actually heard what it was he had tried to ask for?
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
Tav was gently woken up by the scent of coffee and muttering voices. Gale poked his head into the tent and joyfully announced that it was a beautiful morning and that he came bringing gifts. Coffee for her and a pitcher of animal blood for Astarion after Wyll had taken up the task of hunting for food and had gotten lucky to catch a boar.
The vampire needed help to sit up, his body still incredibly sore and his bandaged eye still throbbing like the nine hells, but he could feel it regrow which meant he´d be fine in a few days. He felt dizzy and weak, but no one seemed to hold it against him, there was no teasing or mockery. These people, these weirdos, well most of them, were being very forgiving about him getting himself into this situation. Gale smiled at them both, asking if they needed anything? Tav would need some food soon, but other than that they were good. Gale promised to send something edible along when one of the druids stopped by to check up on Astarion´s wounds before too long. Then they were back to being just the two of them inside what he now realised was her tent.
Tavira moved to sit behind him, supporting his aching body from behind and after setting down her coffee she offered to pour him a cup of blood. He accepted and felt all bubbly on the inside at being spoiled like this. He should have felt weak, vulnerable... exposed, but he didn´t. He felt... all fuzzy and happy on the inside.
He could feel her soft breasts and heartbeat against his scared back, her body heart warming him up from behind. Her long legs were slightly bent on each side of him, and he suddenly realized that his hand, the left one that hadn´t been pierced by two arrows, was resting on her knee, his thumb drawing small circles against her legging clad skin.
“Here, drink,” she cooed gently against his ear and handed him the cup with still warm blood. Reaching for it they both noticed his fingers trembling as a result of his injuries, which made his heart sink because that meant getting sustenance wasn't going to be easy and he´d probably spill most of the precious blood before it could ever reach his lips... It also meant it would take longer to recover “Let me,” her voice was gentle, not judging, but loving. when she lifted the cup to his lips. Her mouth brushed against the sensitive area just beneath his ear and remained there, her breath puffing lightly against his pallid skin and made the vampire grow gooseflesh, which was something he didn't know was even a possibility for his kind.
She fed him the blood, looked at him closely as he drank to determine when to pour and when to stop to let him swallow. It felt nice to be this close to him, his body's hardness and the chill of his skin was something she had gotten used to somewhere along the way. She wasn't usually someone who'd fuzz this much over another, but for him she would always make an exception. His words from last night rang inside her mind. Us, he said he wanted them to see where this strange bond of theirs could take them, she would like that a lot, and this felt like a step in the right direction.
It felt right to take care of him, to ensure that he would be as comfortable as possible while recovering, and he didn´t seem to mind. A moan escaped him and the hand on her knee gave a little squeeze when she tilted the cup and offered him more blood.
She fed all of the blood to him like that, one cup at a time, only stopping to pour more. He drank it all, his body leaning back against hers, relaxed and content in being taken care of in a very new, but certainly pleasant way. His head lolled back against her shoulder, his eye closed and his features relaxed when the pitcher was empty. He felt sated, happy despite his injuries still hurting and throbbing, but with her here, being this sweet, made it bearable.
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
A few days passed with her feeding him like that, which was something that Astarion enjoyed more than he was quite willing to admit. Having her close, having her fuzz over him was nice. In between the feeding and resting the druids or Shadowheart checked in on him, healing him the best they could and brought food for Tav.
The sorceress stayed with him, it was her tent after all. She was reading out loud to him, held his hand, cuddled or just kept him company as he healed up. She only left to heed the call of nature or take a dip in the nearby stream to wash away sweat and grime. Tav was also given the task of wiping Astarion down and changing his bandages after he accidentally jerked away from Halsin´s touch and kicked the wood elf right in the balls by accident when the wood elf had tried to change the wrapping around the vampire's sensitive eye.
Astarion had apologized profoundly but the druid simply told him not to worry about him, despite being in a substantial amount of pain from the kick, quickly instructed Tav on what to do and lingered just long enough to inspect the wounds and the surrounding tissue before he excused himself with a pained grunt. Well he guessed that could count as payback for flirting with Tavira a few days ago.
Tav moved, she placed one hand on each side of his head and looked down at him, a light smirk tugging at her lips. “I hope you didn't do that on purpose, Halsin just wanted to help you.”
“Hmm it was an accident, I swear... though that could be considered a lesson in not touching what I care about. I don't like to share, darling.” He smiled back playfully. His nose wiggled when her long hair fell from the loose bun she had tugged it up into, the soft strains tickling his face.
“Possessive, are we?” she teased and leaned closer. Gods, he wanted to taste her lips so badly that he struggled to push himself off the bedroll but his arms refused to obey just yet. Instead she closed the distance between them and placed the most gentle of kisses against his lips. A kiss that took his breath away despite being feather light... but the emotions poured into it from both of them said more than a thousand words.
I need you.
I care about you.
You are precious to me.
You matter.
I like you just the way you are, flaws and all...
... I love you.
Something inside of both of them changed then and there and despite still having a long road ahead of them toward redemption and salvation it didn't seem as impossible and hard as it had just a few moments ago.
Together they could face any obstacles... and together they would figure out which path to go, and they would face it and conquer it while having each other's backs.
The end