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2013-04-19
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2013-04-19
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26/26
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Conflicted Desires

Chapter Text

WARNING TO READERS: There will be explicit sexual content in this story with more than one partner, both male and female. Although male on male action won't come until later on in the story. There may also be some AU and OOC.

Thank you to my beta reader for the fabulous job she did with this chapter.

“Shepard, you need to wake up now!" an irate female voice cut through my fogged mind. What the hell! Get up while I'm feeling like shit? I don't think so! I thought angrily. "Shepard GET UP, the facility is under attack!" she ordered. My eyes snapped opened. 'We are under attack'? What the hell was going on? Who would be attacking and why is this bitch giving me orders?

I rolled out of bed, nearly landing on my face. I glanced around, making sure I didn't have to kill anyone for witnessing my less than graceful descent. The room was empty, and I scowled as I noticed that I was in a lab of some sort. What the fuck?  There were a few groups I knew that would want to get their hands on me. Cerberus was my first choice, followed closely by the Shadow Broker, but there were numerous smaller factions I had pissed off during my hunt for Saren. However, I didn’t think the lesser groups could afford equipment like the stuff I saw around me; so that left Cerberus and the Shadow Broker. Great! I thought, my anger rising quickly. I'm trapped in one of their labs, and some dumbass lackey is giving me orders. Someone was going to pay for inconveniencing me.

I glanced around once more, looking for clothes of some type. I had no desire to fight in this gown, with my ass hanging out for everyone to see. A locker stood not far away; quickly I raided it and found some armor and a gun. Good, now it was time to kill some people – namely, every asshole in this facility. I grinned at the thought; it had been a while since I'd been up against real competition and I was looking forward to some bloodshed.

"Shepard, go to the locker and grab the clothes and gun from there!" the annoying female voice ordered.

"What the fuck do you think I was doing, standing here jerking off?" I snarled in response. No one answered, which wasn't shocking. I headed for the door, but noticed the gun had no ammo of any kind. What the fuck is this?  I thought irritably. My intuition was now telling me it was Cerberus. They are the only ones I knew that were stupid enough to play these games with me. Well, it appears that they will be learning their lesson the hard way. Looks like it’ll be hand to hand combat until I find a working gun.

Quickly I moved through the facility, ignoring the woman that was prattling on at me. I really wanted to meet that bitch. My crew knew not to give me orders and she would soon be learning the same lesson. I moved swiftly toward the sound of gunfire. In an open hallway, a lone soldier was crouched low, firing at mechs across the room.

I moved beside him and took out a few of his opponents before turning my gun on him, aiming it at the center of his forehead. "Who the fuck are you and where am I?" I asked coldly.

"I'm Jacob, the lab’s chief of security. You're in the facility that brought you back to life," he stated calmly.

"Who runs this facility?" I asked, my gun never leaving his forehead.

"Why don't you help me get rid of those mechs and then I'll answer all of your questions," he suggested.

"Fine, but they had better be damn good answers," I sneered and stood up, firing three bullets and taking out three mechs.

"Damn, you could have had me use my biotics to finish them off," he said as he leaned back against the wall.

"Why would I bother when I have my own?" I asked him with a quirk of the brow. Maybe this wasn't Cerberus, after all. They were known for their geniuses, and this guy certainly didn’t qualify.

"We should head to the shuttle," he muttered, scowling at me.

"You still have to answer my questions," I reminded him, my gun rising toward his forehead.

"Okay, I'll answer your questions," he said, raising his hands in defeat.

"Good! First question, who do you work for?" I bit out.

He closed his eyes and moved away a step. "Cerberus," he muttered.

I looked at him, shocked. How in the hell did he come to work for them? I thought to myself. "Second question, where is my crew?" I asked, watching him carefully. If he slipped at all and I found out they were here, this place would be painted in Cerberus blood.

"It's been two years, Shepard. They have all moved on," he said carefully.

"What do you mean, two years?" I asked harshly.

"You've been dead for two years," he said. I closed my eyes, pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to remember what happened. There was a big ship coming for us, fire was all around… People were screaming and dying… mayhem… Williams came to help me, told me about Joker. Joker was in the cockpit trying to save the ship… I remembered getting him out of there…. Closing the door of the pod as I floated out into space…. My air supply leaking….can't breathe….body freezing…..blackness all-consuming as I fell… My body on fire as I fell toward a planet…. no more air…. And then there was nothing.

"Who from the Normandy survived?" I asked hoarsely.

"All your main crew survived, but several people from the lower decks perished," he said, watching me carefully. 

"Fine, I'll have to deal with this later. Let’s get to a shuttle," I snapped. He looked at me, shocked for a moment. "You do have a shuttle, don't you?" I asked lethally.

"Yes, it's not far from here," he said, but was interrupted before he could finish. A man called on his omnitool, asking for help. I listened incredulously as Jacob said we would help him.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"That was Wilson. He is one of the scientists that helped bring you back," he answered.

"Fine, you can go save him, but I'm heading for the shuttle. Let me give you a friendly piece of advice; don't assume that I am going to help you," I sneered, walking away from him. I moved quickly through the hallways, stopping when I saw a wounded man sitting on the floor, a gun held in his hand. Great, just what I fucking needed! I swore to myself.

"Shepard! Good, you are here," he looked at me hopefully. Wrong person to give that look to, buddy, I thought with a smirk.

"Don't hold your breath, I'm getting to the shuttle," I told him coldly.

"Can you get me some medigel from the wall?" he asked. I glanced at the compartment beside me.

"Fine," I grumbled and tossed him one of the gel packs; he used the injection and struggled to his feet.

"Wilson, are you alright?" Jacob asked as he rushed to Wilson’s side.

"We don’t have time for this!" I stated heatedly. "We need to leave now!"

"Shepard, he needs a moment before he can move," Jacob said fiercely.

"Then leave him behind," I snapped. He was no use to us injured.

"I'd heard you were cold, but I didn’t think you were cruel," he snarled angrily.

"Fine, you stay here and hold his hand. I have a shuttle to catch," I smirked, walking away from them. The route was easy to follow, since there was only one way open to the shuttle bay. I hoped some asshole hadn’t closed it off for security reasons.  I walked up the ramp keeping alert for more mechs. As if on cue, they appeared, coming at me from both sides.

I took care of them in swift order and headed to the door where the shuttle bay lay. I wondered how it was that I could get through this place with such ease. It made no sense; they have state of the art equipment, yet this robot takes two shots and blows apart.

"Shepard, wait!" Jacob called. I groaned, shaking my head in defeat. It figured that I would do the dirty work and they would finally show up when it's nice and safe. I'm glad the universe hadn't changed that much while I had been gone.

"Oh great, you decided to show," I grumbled disappointedly as they walked toward me.

"We should head for the shuttle," Jacob said with a scowl. I turned from him with a shrug as I heard the door behind me open. Through it stepped a woman with legs that looked like could hold you all night long and an ass that looked like it wouldn't quit. My fantasy shattered when my eyes met her face; this one was definitely in need of a paper bag. She raised a gun and fired. I didn’t care; she was killing one of the two idiots behind me.

"Miranda! What do you think you are doing?" Jacob cried, outraged. Figures he would be, but I was also curious as to why she killed her own man in cold blood.  

"He betrayed us," she stated simply. Oh God! I know that voice! I thought furiously. It was that woman that had been rambling in my ear since I woke up in this damned place. Great!

"Huh, figured the idiot was only waiting for a perfect moment to shoot me in the back," I muttered, glaring down at the body.

"Good instincts," she murmured with a small smile. The first thing that popped into my mind was what she could do to me with those lips; unfortunately, I didn't have time for those types of fantasies, especially not with her!

"Let's get out of here," I ordered, before I forgot where I was and did what my body was raging to do.

                                                                                ~oooo~

They took me to another facility; this one just as cold and sterile as the first. It was here that I would meet the Illusive Man. Whoever the hell he was? I thought in annoyance.  I really wanted to know what the fuck he wanted with me and why he brought me back. I was thankful to be alive, though I would never admit it to him.

My face-to-face meeting, as it turned out, was with a fucking hologram. I kept it short, as my patience with this whole situation was wearing thin. So now I had to go to Freedom’s Progress and investigate the disappearances of several human colonies.

"Suit up, we are heading out!" I ordered my new team as I headed toward the shuttle without a backward glance to see if they were actually listening. I wasn't surprised when Jacob was right behind me when I entered the shuttle; neither did it shock me that Miranda took her time getting there. It looked as if she and I would have to have a talk soon.

Freedom’s Progress was abandoned; food was left out, work left half finished, as though everyone simply vanished into thin air. The entire scene was odd and created an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach. We swept through the first few buildings quickly; slowing when we encountered a group of Quarians. I was shocked seeing them here, especially one of them. Tali, one of my old team members, appeared to be leading the group. I hoped things would improve now that I had her here.

"Shepard? Is that you?" she asked softly. "And you are with Cerberus?" I glanced at her, but most of my attention was focused on the Quarian who had a gun pointed at me.

"Tali, I'm only going to say this once. Get that fucking gun out of my face or…" I began, and Tali turned to her companion, gasping loudly.

"Prazza, put your gun down!" she ordered, standing in between myself and him. I counted silently to ten and they were still arguing.  In one quick motion I moved Tali out of the way, disarmed Prazza and was about to pull the trigger.

"Shepard, please don't," Tali implored.

"Another of your team points a gun at me and I will finish this," I snarled, shoving the gun roughly into her hand.

"Sure, Shepard, I hear you," she muttered sullenly.

I smirked as we went over a plan of attack. We'd use the Quarians to distract the mechs while we went after another of their people who might have information. I didn’t really believe they would help; Tali would, but the others were going to fuck this up somehow.

They left and I was just heading out with the two Cerberus operatives complaining behind me about the Quarians, when Tali warned me that Prazza and his group screwed around with the plans. Now why am I not shocked? I thought snidely as we continued walking.

"Should have known we couldn’t trust the Quarians," Jacob said maliciously. I turned to him, chuckling.

"Don't bother worrying about it,” I replied. “We don't need them and besides, they'll make great canon-fodder.”

Without another word about our ‘allies’, we went in search of the one person that had answers to the mystery of the disappearing humans and would probably be delusional. This day was just looking better with each moment, I sighed with annoyance as we cleared out more mechs.

                                                                ~ooo~

What a damn waste of time, I thought on the ride back to the Cerberus base. After all the fighting, the only information we were able to retrieve from Veetor was a video of an alien species called the Collectors. Cerberus now had the delusional Quarian in their care, along with the information on his omnitool. Hopefully they would be able to retrieve something of value. If not, this mission wouldn’t be any different from the hunt for Saren.  

The meeting with the pain in the ass, a/k/a the Illusive Man, was more informative. He had suspected the Collectors, but our proof had solidified his theory. It was now my job to coordinate a new group of people that I didn't know and who were probably under Cerberus’ control to stop an entire race of kidnappers. Business as usual, I suppose.

The one good thing out of all of this was Joker, who had been recruited by the Illusive Man to pilot my new ship. With him aboard, I had one person that I trusted to a point to back me up.

 I stood there smiling as the lights came on in the docking bay. Joker stood beside me, a matching smile on his face. "Now all we need to do is name her," he said.

"Yeah I know, and there is only one name for her," I said as we turned to each other and grinned. The Normandy SR-2, the only name appropriate for this ship. "Let's go aboard and check her out."

We walked on board, the Cerberus lackeys close behind us. "So, Shepard, is this going to be the same as the other Normandy? Where you're seducing all the females?" Joker asked, grinning slyly at me.

"What do you think, Joker?" I snorted.

"Then you better leave some for me,” he replied. “Have you seen some of the women here? Take Kelly, as a perfect example. She’s got a great body, but you might want a gag," he grinned.

"Really? I'll have to check that out. So what section is she working in?" I asked curiously.

"She's your personal assistant," he winked.   

As we entered the CIC, Cerberus employees were working all around us. That was the only thing wrong with this ship. If it hadn't been under their control, I would have been be happy, but I was sure this wasn’t the most trustworthy group around.  Miranda and Jacob stood there staring at me with data pads in their hands.

"What do the two of you want?" I asked coldly. Miranda had a body on her, but the 'I'm God's gift to men' attitude was very annoying. Then there was Jacob; he seemed nice enough, but I wasn’t sure. With his military attitude, I just knew he would be driving me insane quickly.

"We have the first few dossiers for recruits. I think the first one we should go after is the Salarian scientist, Mordin Solis," Miranda replied, her tone sounding too close to an order for my liking.

"Now, you see that is where you are wrong. This is my ship, and we do this my way. If you don't like it, you have two choices; keep your mouth shut or walk out of the airlock!" I said coldly, focusing solely on Miranda when I spoke those words. She was the worry, not Jacob; he was too military to cross me.

"Whatever you say, Shepard," Miranda bit out, glaring at me as she stormed away. Jacob looked at me worriedly before saluting and heading for the armory. It looked like I would have to watch the both of them closely, especially Miranda.

I glanced around the CIC deck; Joker sat in the cockpit facing toward me, grinning. "So, what do you think?" I asked him.

"Well, it was looking good until…" he began, nodding towards EDI, Cerberus’ installed artificial intelligence. It was the same problem I was currently battling.

"Yeah, well, we'll have to live with it…for now," I smirked. "So…where is this Kelly you mentioned?"

"Go to the map, you'll find her without a problem," he smiled. "You better not hog all the females this time," he added, turning his chair from me.

"Joker, you know better than to give me orders," I reminded him coldly.

"Don't worry, Shepard, I remember quite clearly, " he mumbled, slumping into his chair.

I walked over to the map, spotting a blonde standing next to it, a smile plastered on her face. Oh yeah, now this I could use, I thought lustily. A full service, personal assistant; now all I have to do is teach her how to assist properly.

Kelly's point of view

I watched Commander Shepard walk toward me and my first thought was "danger". That one thought sent a shiver down my spine.  "I'm Kelly, your personal assistant," I introduced myself.

I had heard the stories about him, how he could be cold; also the rumors of his frequent relations with females of all races. Though there was one rumor that I didn’t believe; it involved his possible interest in males. No one with his confidence and virility could have an interest in men.

He walked closer, smiling slightly and the light in his eyes made me very nervous. "So, you're my assistant, huh? What precisely will you be helping with?" he asked softly as he neared me.

Whoa, talk about a loaded question! I thought anxiously. I know what I am supposed to do as his assistant, but what I want to do is something entirely different, I thought dreamily as he stood in front of me.

I swallowed hard, trying to appear calm. "I'll be keeping an eye on the crew and notifying you when you have messages," I told him.

"Is there anything else…" he murmured, trailing a finger down my arm.

Oh damn, what was I supposed to say? He was my superior officer!

"I'm also the ship’s counselor. If anyone has a problem, I'm to help them through it," I answered, ignoring the open invitation.

"And if I have a problem, does that mean you have to help me?" he asked with a knowing smile.

YES! I screamed internally. Right now I'll help you… no, I can't do this…. He was making it very hard to think straight.

"Yes, if you have a problem, I am supposed to help. I'm to make sure this ship runs smoothly," I answered, my voice cracking.

"So if the Commanding Officer is upset, then that is a bad thing, isn’t it?” he asked, his eyes glittering dangerously. “And since it your job to make sure things on the ship run smoothly, then…." he trailed off, his hand on either side of my face, trapping me there so that I felt the heat of his body. I caved; there was nothing else for me to do. A girl can only take so much…

                                                                ~oooo~

We went up to his cabin. He backed me into one of the walls, his hands on either side of my head. His mouth slashed across mine, our tongues dueling passionately. He used one hand, tilting my head back, deepening the kiss. He walked me backward toward the bed, his hand undoing the latches to my jumper. Cool air hit my flushed skin and I gasped at the sensation. His mouth and hands traveled down my body, meeting at the junction of my thighs. I moaned low as he found me, his tongue delving deep inside me, mimicking what I wanted him to do with his body. I was more than ready; I didn’t need the preparation, though I loved every minute of it.

I lay there with him on top of me. I tried to get him to remove his clothes, but he wouldn't. I gasped when I felt him on the edge of entering me. He thrust into me, the material of his pants brushing against my legs. I wasn't sure whether to be insulted that he hadn't undressed or excited that he was this turned on.

I could feel my orgasm building as he thrust into me, his fingers digging into my hips, pulling me closer to him. It didn't take long for him to push me to over the edge or for him to follow. I lay there panting, thinking there would be more to come now that the edge was taken off of our passion.

"Get dressed, we have work to do," he stated as he walked to the bathroom. I stared open mouth at the closing door. What the hell? I thought, humiliation begin to settle over me. This wasn't what I had been expecting from him.

Shepard's point of view

Damn, I feel so much better, I thought as I washed my face. I hoped she took the hint and vanished before I reentered my room. The last thing I needed was a clinging woman who thought this was a permanent relationship. Just the thought sent a shiver of dread racing down my spine.

Now that the itch was taken care of, all I had to do was go over the dossiers Cerberus had given me and pray that these people were worth the effort. "Joker, head to Omega. We have three pick-ups there," I ordered through the comm.

"Will do. We should be there in a few days," he stated.

"Let me know when we are an hour out," I ordered, cutting off communication with him.

Good, I thought happily. Now all I have to do is wait. Time to make the rounds of this place and see what else this ship has to offer.