Work Text:
Lisa's POV
"Turn that horrific noise off." My girlfriend groans, lifting my pillow to cover her face and ears. I chuckle at her antics, watching from my seat at the vanity as I drag my brush through my hair.
"Sorry babe, I must've pressed snooze instead of stop." I walk over to my side of the bed, reaching for my phone on the night stand and turning my work alarm off.
"Convenient for you." A groan. I lean over the bed, lifting the pillow to reveal her face and allow me to kiss her forehead.
"Hey, it was an accident." I stifle a laugh at Carla's sleepy pout.
"It's not my fault that you have a job which requires your presence at this time."
"I know, but I do hate leaving knowing that you're still all wrapped up in bed."
"Are you saying I don't deserve a lay in?"
"No. No I'm not, I'm saying I think it's unfair that I have to leave the house four hours before you even need to leave the bed."
"Oh so that's why you let your alarm run longer... so that I would have to be awake at this ungodly hour too?"
"I didn't plan that darling, I just-"
"Think it's unfair that you're the only one needing to be awake so why not wake everyone else up?"
"Well-"
"And I think it's unfair that I have to be awake at this time because you don't want to be the only one."
"Go back to sleep." My laughter bubbles out as I shake my head.
"You've disturbed me already now."
"I'm sorry darling, I really am."
"Hmm." Is the only response I get.
"Am I still allowed my morning cuddle, or have I been stripped of my rights?" I punctuate each word with a feather light kiss across her neck.
"Carry on with that and you'll be stripped of something else too." There she is.
"I'm one raspy plea away from calling in with a family emergency as it is."
"Family emergency, hey? What are you going for?"
"My girlfriend is in dire need of attention, Costello. To come to work would be to neglect her. Something along those lines."
"You could never. Have you ever even thrown a sicky? I had to kidnap you to get you to stay home when you really were poorly that time." She's not wrong. Everyone teases me for being Captain Sensible.
"I have actually! When Bets was three, I got her to nursery and she projectile vomited all over me before I'd even set her down on the floor."
"That's not throwing a sicky, she was ill. Have you ever faked it?"
"No comment. Give me a kiss before I leave without one." My distraction works. Of course it does, Carla never turns a kiss down.
"How long have you got?" Her eyelashes are fluttering already.
"Fifteen until I need to leave."
"I'll be asleep in ten if you do that thing with your fingers on my scalp." Kissing her pout away, I set my hands to work and slowly rake my fingers down her scalp. I have to hold myself back as a slight moan escapes her.
"Bye darling, I love you." She's almost asleep, so I make a point of exchanging our usual goodbye before she's too asleep.
"I love you, go careful baby."
With my girlfriend back to sleep - on my side of the bed - I set about boiling the kettle to fill my travel mug. Whilst waiting for the click, I reach for the stack of willy sticky notes. Betsy added them to mine and Carla's Christmas stockings as a joke. We actually fell into a habit of using them to leave each other random notes around the house. It's only after scribbling two notes out and pouring my coffee that I realise how late I'm running. I drop a note into Carla's handbag that's sat on the desk, and paste the other on the fridge. She'll see that one when she grabs the milk out for her breakfast.
...
Carla's POV
"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" Another unnecessary wake up call before my alarm has even gone off. I lazily haul myself out of bed and wrap my bare body in my robe before padding down the stairs to check on my second favourite blonde.
"What's up, Bets?"
"What's up? Are you taking the- What's up?" She resorts back to her initial question.
"Listen sweetheart, I've just been woken up from a deep sleep. I'm going to need some context or for you to just fill in the blanks."
"You two make me sick!" She scrunches up a ball of paper and throws it at me. It's only as I see the colour that I clock what it is.
"Your mum left me more notes?"
"Well given the graphic wording on that I'm going to safely assume she didn't leave it for me!" I unravel the paper with initial confusion... that is until my eyes scan the contents.
'Can't wait for you to follow through with your threat of stripping me of a certain something later! If you're after some extra brownie points, you could always bottle your raspy morning voice up and save it for when I can have you moaning my name ;)'
My immediate reaction is to clench my thighs. Then I flush. Then I spy our teenager's horrified expression and feel a little embarrassed. Then I belly laugh.
"Oh, I'm so glad you're finding this so fucking funny! I need to anti-bac my eyes!"
"Dramatic."
"Not dramatic enough, I fear! Maybe I'll settle on bleaching them instead!"
"Sorry, Bets. She doesn't usually leave the naughty ones out within your reach." I shrug at the realisation that it's happened now and unfortunately for Betsy, I can't help her unsee it.
"Yeah, figured!"
After heading back upstairs to get ready for work, I soon find myself down in the kitchen and making some toast.
"Are you okay?" My attention is caught by the blonde hiding her face in her bowl of cornflakes.
"Am I okay? Is that even a question?"
"I'll take that as a no then."
"I can't even look at you. I've just read about my mum wanting to... to... you know what I mean." Her index fingers lift to rub her temples and I try really hard to stifle a laugh. Snapping a quick photo of Betsy, I send it over to Lisa.
'You're in trouble, you naughty girl!'
'How many times have I told you not to start that when I'm at work?' To be fair, the answer to this is an embarrassingly high number.
'Oh, I wish it was just me starting something, darling x'
'What's happened? Do you need me to come home? x' I take a second to imagine our daughter's face as Lisa appears and tries to apologise.
'Oh, I think you're better off steering clear x'
'Will you be able to sort Bets or do you want me to come home quickly? x'
'You're the one in trouble, Captain Sensible, not me x' I settle with Captain Sensible because for someone who is so private in many ways, she was definitely not sensible enough to keep intimacy private here.
'Me? What did I do? x'
'Something about bottling my raspy morning voice and saving it for when you can have me moaning? x'
'What about it? x'
'Something else about my threat of stripping you? x'
'Darling, I'm getting nervous x'
'Ironic, considering you love to see a woman sweat! x'
'I'm on my way out to the car now, pack it in with all these riddles x'
'Riddles? Seriously babe, it's not worth it. Betsy is still home and she's threatening to bleach her eyes x'
'Why? That's dangerous and she'd be stupid if she did that x' My incredibly smart detective girlfriend, everyone.
'Wow detective... Your naughty little note? x'
'Yeah, I got that part x'
'Just not the part where Bets has seen it? x'
'She hasn't?!'
'You plastered it across the fridge, what did you expect?'
'No! That one was for your bag!'
'I think your muscle memory missed that part darling x'
'Oh fuck'
'Tonight, judging by your words x' What? I couldn't help myself.
'Now is not the time for funnies, Carla x'
'Yes, miss. Sorry, miss. Betsy is ready to kill us, miss x'
'I'll text her x'
'And say what? This I have to see! x'
'I'll just say sorry x'
'Effective x'
...
"Betsy can I just-" Lisa's voice shakes as Betsy walks through the door.
"No, you can't. But you can keep the noise levels down. If I hear one sound coming from your bedroom, I'll post your sickening little love letter into the stitches group chat."
"You wouldn't dare." Lisa tries to call her bluff.
"Have you met me?" Fair point, Betsy.
"It's okay darling, we'll just have to stick to the bathroom."
"The bathroom? Why?" Oh Lisa...
"Because Betsy bum said one sound coming from our bedroom. She didn't say bathroom." My smile is smug, the pride in my smartness radiating.
"You're the only person who thinks you're funny, you know that?"
"Not true. Your mum thinks I am."
"The same mum who looks about ready for the ground to open up and swallow her whole?" I glance over to my blonde and chuckle at the accuracy of Betsy's words.
In case you were wondering, the pg note was indeed the one buried in my handbag. My usual pep talk from Lisa of how I'm incredible, beautiful, smart, and going to smash it.