Chapter Text
“Don’t look now but she’s staring at you again!” Jade said in a low voice, leaning close to Rose. Dave turned around to look at the girl Jade spoke about. He lowered his shades a bit, scrutinized the girl, and pushed them back up.
“Yep,” he concluded, “She’s got it bad for ya, sis.” Next to him, John made a sort of “pffft” sound.
“How do you know that, huh Dave? Are you some kinda romance master?”
“Nah, bro. That’s more like Vantas’ schtick. But I’m pretty sure anyone can tell that Maryam over there wants a piece of Lalonde ass.”
“Ugh, don’t be gross, Dave.” John said, palming his face. Rose chuckled.
“Yes, Dave. That was quite crass, even for you. Last I checked, you were trying to avoid speaking about your sister’s choice ass. Old Freudian habits die hard, I see.” She said coyly.
The four of them had been friends since elementary school. Just thirteen days into the fourth grade, Dave and John had gotten into an argument. Rose was the “class mediator” for that week, and so she helped them work through it. It was quite a silly argument, really. Something about pee in apple juice. But we don’t talk about that anymore. Anyway, after that, John and Dave apologized to each other and eventually, Rose and Dave met John’s twin sister, Jade.
Four years later and thirteen days later, Rose and Dave learned from their respective guardians that they were indeed related. Something about an ectobiology experiment run by SkaiaNet, the company Rose’s mom works for. We don’t talk about that either. But anyway, needless to say, things were awkward at first. But then they got used to it and they’ve been living in one household ever since.
“Hey. No one said anything about your ass bein’ choice. Just that Maryam wants it. That’s a fact, a totally objective point of view. Straight up.”
“Oh my goodness, Rose! She’s been staring at you this whole time. It’s so cute.” Jade said, flailing about a bit. “You have to talk to her!”
Rose glanced over at the girl’s direction. Despite her skin being several shades darker than her own, Rose could spot a hint of red in her cheeks. When her jade green eye caught Rose’s violet one, she instantly turned away and looked down. Vriska Serket, who was next to Maryam, began to interrogate her melodramatically.
“What’s a hag like Serket doin’ talkin’ to a saint like Maryam?”
“Vriska isn’t a hag! She’s really kinda nice…once you get to know her,” John said in a very unconvincing tone. “Anyway, she told me that before she moved here, umm...wait. What’s the new girl's first name?”
“Maryam.” Dave promptly and incorrectly answered.
“What?” Said John, eyebrows furrowed. “I thought that was her last name?”
“Yep that too.” Dave said, his face completely deadpan. This was Dave Strider’s humor. Joke about things with a straight face. It worked for Rose, too.
“So her name’s Maryam Maryam???” John looked genuinely concerned. Jade laughed out loud at that.
“No, silly! Her name’s Kanaya. It’s such a pretty name.” Jade piped up. Rose just realized that she did know her name at all. She wasn’t present when Kanaya was introduced to the class three days ago.
“Oh! See, Karkat told me that but I totally forgot.”
“They’re cousins, aren’t they? Karkat and Kanaya?”
“Yep!”
“All these family connections, man. And she knew the hag from her last town or something?”
“Yeah, uh. She and Vriska,” John emphasized the name, “were childhood friends. Then Vriska moved here. And now I guess Kanaya happened to move here too!”
“Coincidences left and right.” Dave said, nodding his head.
“Ughhh Rose. Can you just talk to her already??” Jade whined impatiently. Rose closed her eyes and crossed her arms.
“There’s no need. I have no desire for new friendships, and definetly not for any romantic entanglements.” She opened her eyes again, looking at Jade. “And even if I did, it would not be with a spineless, bumbling idiot like Kanaya Maryam, fidgeting around every time I cast a glance in her direction.” Rose’s three friends stared at her in awe. John was the first to speak after a silence.
“Geez, Rose. That’s kinda harsh, even for you. Don’tcha think?” He was right. John was usually right. Rose didn’t hate the new girl. It was just that…
“There’s something off-putting about her.” Rose sniffed and paused for a few seconds. “She reminds me of my mother.”
“Howzzat?” Dave said, rubbing his nose.
“I don’t know. She’s just so…" Rose glanced back at the girl, who was berating Vriska on Tavros' behalf about something. "...motherly.”
“Rose. Mom ain't motherly.” He had a point, too. The boys were on a roll. “How’s Kanaya anything like Mom, huh?”
“She’s meddlesome. That’s like our mother.”
“That's a terrible excuse.” Jade said, frowning. “And besides, you don't know that she's anything like your Mom for sure! You didn’t even remember her name! How would you know what she’s like unless you…” Jade proceeded to cup her mouth with her hands, “Taaalk to herrrr?”
“Why should I? I’m not interested. If she wants to talk to me, she should make a move.” Rose said, and left it at that.
------
Later that day, after finishing her homework, Rose furiously typed away at her laptop. She was finishing up a chapter of her Complacency of The Learned fanfiction. She was thinking about making a new crossover fic with the Wizardy Herbert universe but was beginning to doubt herself. She had been sitting on the idea for days. She wanted to consult her closest internet friend, a girl who only went by her Pesterchum Chumhandle, grimAuxiliatrix. GA, however, had been missing in action for a few days.
It had made Rose's heart ache a bit.
Not that she'd ever let GA know that. She was not that vulnerable. But it was based on her reflections of the past few days that Rose finally admitted to herself that she did indeed have a crush on GA. And when GA finally logged in that day, Rose tried not to sound too eager.
Play it cool, Lalonde.
-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --
TT: Hello.
GA: Hello Rose
TT: It has certainly been a while.
TT: Oh! How I missed that beautiful jade-green text with a typing quirk that serves as a doppelganger of overly long titles and is oddly reminiscent of Fallout Boy songs.
TT: And that lack of punctuation! Oh my.
TT: Stand by for swooning.
GA: Rose Its Only Been Three Days Or So
GA: Also My Quirk Expresses My Individuality And In No Way Does It Reflect A Lack Of Grammatical Knowledge
TT: I know.
TT: You are the best beta a fanfiction author who dabbles in writing smut involving wizards and tentacles could ask for.
GA: Thats A Very Small Percentage Of Your Work
GA: But Okay When You Put It That Way
TT: I do.
TT: What kept you for three days, anyway?
GA: Stuff
TT: That’s helpful.
TT: Why do you never tell me about yourself, again? I don’t even know your name.
GA: Just Because You Told Me Your Name Doesnt Mean Im Obligated To Return The Favor
TT: Yes, but that would be very…
TT: Let me reach deep into the trenches of my vocabulary for a moment.
TT: Nice.
GA: Yes I Agree But I Just Dont Feel Too Comfortable About Sharing My Personal Details Online
TT: I guess it can’t be helped.
TT: When a girl says “no,” she means “no.”
GA: Not Yet Anyway
TT: Ah. Then, eventually?
GA: Maybe
TT: All right.
TT: For the time being, I’ll only refer to you as GA.
TT: Or perhaps as “gah.”
TT: It’s so much more elegant.
GA: Your Atrocious Sarcastic Insincerity Will Be Your Downfall One Day Ms Lalonde
TT: And your lack of it will be yours.
GA: Speaking Of Sarcasm I Know You Sincerely Missed Me So Spare Me Your Longwinded Denial
TT: You know me too well.
GA: Right
GA: So How Was Your Day
GA: Or Past Three Days
TT: Ah. Trying to be civil, I see.
TT: My day was fine, thank you. Nothing out of the ordinary.
TT: Although there was a bit of a disturbance.
GA: Disturbance
TT: I’m going to assume you meant that as a question.
TT: But yes.
TT: There’s a new girl in school.
GA: I See
GA: What Do You Think Of Her
TT: There’s not much to say on her behalf.
TT: Although she seems like something of a nuisance.
TT: ...
TT: GA? Are you still there?
GA: Yes Sorry I Was Distracted For A Minute
GA: Anyway Im Sorry You Feel That Way About Her
TT: I am too. I mean, she seems nice enough but I’m worried that she may get in the way.
GA: Of What
TT: Of…
TT: Well, it’s difficult to say.
TT: It isn't often that I have difficulty with words.
TT: As you of all people are well aware.
TT: It might be silly.
TT: Because I don’t even know your name or what you look like.
TT: But despite that, I've found myself to be very attracted to you and I think that I
TT: I really, really like you, GA.
TT: And I wish you’d tell me more about your personal life.
TT: And maybe we’d find that we're
TT: I don’t know?
TT: Compatible?
TT: In a romantic sense.
TT: …
TT: Please answer?
TT: This wasn't easy for me.
GA: Im Sorry Rose
GA: I Have To Go
GA: Well Talk Later
TT: Wait!
GA: Bye
-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
TT: Dammit.
------
Rose’s face still burned from that confession. She closed out of Pesterchum, hands shaking, and sighed. Why did GA leave so quickly? Maybe she was in some sort of trouble? Or maybe she was already involved in a relationship and didn’t want to reject Rose so out rightly? Or maybe she just knows nothing about this GA person other than their shared interests in the CoTL fandom. And yet…Rose trusted GA. She has the emotional intelligence of an amoeba, but she knew she trusted and…yes, even loved GA. If she was even capable of those kinds of feelings.
Yet she couldn’t help but think that it might be all over with GA. Her response was something akin to a rejection. There was no doubt about it. Rose read over the conversation and her heart plummeted once again. She tried to reassure herself that it would be all right. Who knows if engaging in an online relationship would be healthy at all, especially if this person did not want to reveal any information about herself…if GA is even a she. Yes. Trying to pursue that relationship could be dangerous. And yet…she trusted GA. Argh! That feeling again. Such indecisiveness. Rose was beginning to be annoyed by her own emotional theatrics.
She shifted her thoughts to something else. Or more precisely, someone else. Maryam. This new girl was beautiful. Gorgeous, in fact. There was no doubt about that. But what she had in beauty, she lacked in tact. Unlike the mysterious GA, Rose could see right through Maryam. By the look of her clothes, one could easily recognize that she was a very fashion-minded person. A little shallow, if you asked Rose. She also looks like she enjoys reading. Probably trashy romance novels, Rose mused. She herself enjoyed a good romance herself, but novel ones involving elegant warlocks and witches who dabble in dark arts and the realm of mystifying creatures. Maryam probably likes Twilight or some dribble. Rose scoffed at the thought.
But between GA’s rejection and her friends’ insistence that she talk to the new girl, Rose decided something that night:
She would talk to Kayaka Maryam.