Chapter Text
"Have you seen-" Wilson stops himself when he sees Cuddy. She's on the phone talking to a client. She puts a finger, not even sparing Wilson a glance, signaling to wait.
"Give me a moment" Cuddy puts the phone on hold, "What do you need Wilson?"
"Do you know where House is?" Wilson asks.
"He's in his office," Cuddy replies.
Wilson archs his eyebrow, "But that's the first place I checked."
"He just arrived. I saw him walk towards the elevators earlier" Cuddy says.
Wilson opens his mouth to respond, but Cuddy goes back to her call. He promptly closes his mouth and heads to House's office.
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Wilson enters House's team space and spots House going back to his desk after giving out orders and opening his laptop up.
Wilson follows House, "There you are. Why'd you-"
"Hey Wilson, check out this wacko," House says while staring at his screen.
Wilson heaves a sigh but walks towards House's desk, "What did you want to show me?"
"Look at this," House points towards his screen.
Wilson leans in closer to House, "Woah damn. That woman is gorgeous."
"Wha-" House turns to him and stares at him briefly. Then, he looks back at the screen, "Not what I wanted to show you. Her body ain't wack that's for sure."
House switches tabs, "Here, this is the wacko I intended to show."
House plays the video and Wilson freezes.
It's his brother.
"This idiot is spewing nonsense about some transforming robots," House stops talking when he feels Wilson's rigidness against him.
He looks back at Wilson, "You okay?"
"That- that's my brother" Wilson sputters out.
House's eyes widen, "You mean the one who's schizophrenic and ran away when you were in your awkward teenage years."
"The exact one" Wilson's eyes remain on the screen, "How recent was this?"
"Uh... I don't know" House fumbles with his mouse, attempting (and failing) to find something.
Wilson scoffs, "Move it over, old man," he slightly pushes House away and bends over to exercise his obviously (marginally) better tech skills.
House drops his jaw at this petulance. Just as House opens his mouth to give a stunning retort but his breath hitches at the sight. His eyes staring at Wilson. Wilson's eyebrows cutely furrowed and eyes filled with immense determination.
"There! This video was posted 2 days," Wilson says excitedly. He turns to face House, and House just looks at him as if he was in a trance.
Wilson stares back for a bit before asking, "House?"
"Yes?" House snaps out of his daze.
"He's nearby!" Wilson exclaims.
House almost smiles but wipes it off, "Who knows if he's still there? You know, homeless don't stay in one place."
"Please?" Wilson pleads, looking at House with puppy dog eyes.
House parts his lips but quickly seals them. He turns his head to avoid looking Wilson's piercing, adorable eyes. He dares to look back into Wilson's eyes but couldn't do it. His gaze was too penetrating.
He looks back at the screen, "Alright, alright."
"Great, we will go after 8" Wilson leans back from House's screen.
House smiles as Wilson walks away but then realizes, "Wait, what? what do you mean?"
But Wilson is already out the door.
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"Thank you, Dr. Wilson" Wilson's patient says.
"Of course, just make sure to take your medication" Wilson smiles at his patient.
The patient nods. Then, Wilson walks out of the patient's room. Before leaving, he gives his patient one last goodbye wave and then walks out the door.
"I swear Wilson, you have powers."
Wilson lets out a yell and stumbles on his feet, almost losing his footing.
Then he looks back at House, "What are you doing here?"
"Studying your powers" House replies.
Wilson gives him a look.
"Fine fine. I was waiting for you. But seriously, your powers need to be studied" House answers.
Wilson walks past him, "It's called for caring for people."
"Sure..." House says.
Wilson holds back a groan and House smiles, "Anyway, are you ready to go?"
"I need to go back to my office" Wilson replies.
They both walk towards the elevators and reach Wilson's office. Wilson hangs his doctor's coat on the coat rack, puts on his trench coat and grabs his wallet.
Wilson looks back at House, "Do you have everything you need?"
"Yep" House affirms.
Then they both head out.
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The temperature was nearly at water's freezing point and it well past both of their bedtime.
House pulls onto his jacket inwards and scans the place, "This does not look like the place Wilson. You need your eyes checked."
Wilson shoots House a glance, "I don't need my eyes checked, thank you very much."
Wilson glances down at his phone again and looks back up again, "Yeah, this looks like the place."
"Let me see the phone," House grabs Wilson's wrist and squints his eyes, taking in the details of the screen.
Wilson freezes when House grabs his wrist and a blush,unwillingly, spreads across his face.
"You idiot," House says.
Wilson relaxes into his touch, "What?"
"There was a water tank in the background. Like a few miles from here. There is no water tank within our view," House explains.
Wilson lets out a meek oh, forming a o shaped face.
House turns to him, momentarily distracted, and asks, "Why is your face all red?"
"It's because it's cold," Wilson says, a little too quickly.
House narrows his eyes at him but looks past him, "Come on, let's go."
Wilson nods and they both walk together side by side.
Just as Wilson approaches his car, he stops walking back. He can no longer hear House's steps. He looks back at House, who is staring at something.
"House?" Wilson calls out.
House ignores him but his eyes look crazed.
Wilson turns back and walks to him, "House?"
House blinks and looks at Wilson.
"It's nothing," House quickly says, "Let's go back to the car."
"Ok then..." Wilson drawls.
They both walk towards the car. They were 6 ft from the car then they hear a loud
THUNK
Both House and Wilson whip their head towards the thunk and their eyes practically bulge out of their sockets.
A huge green bot just crashed into Wilson's car.
The big green robot gets up, his hand(?) turns into what resembles a wrecking ball and smashes the big blue robot in the face. Then a blue bike with no rider comes out of nowhere.
House and Wilson drop their jaws in shock. House cannot pry his eyes away and his head empty. Wilson can't look away from his demolished car.
CLANG
This snaps Wilson out of his thoughts. He turns to see how the big blue robot is dangerously close to them.
Wilson pulls on House's sleeve and whisper yells, "We've got to hide."
Wilson drags House to hide behind a big block and they wait. Or at least, Wilson tries to wait.
House peers over his shoulder to see how the fight is going.
The bulky, blue bot transforms into a car and the other bots watch it go. Taking it as a sign, House gets up. Wilson turns to him and tries to pull House down, but House is out of his reach.
"Get back here!" Wilson whisper yells.
House turns back and says, "No," House sticks his tongue out like a child, then he proceeds to walk away.
Wilson groans into his hands, throwing his head back.
CRACK
Wilson looks back at House and House gives him the face when he someone mentions his dad. House points to the side and Wilson's face drops.
The giant robots are staring at them.
"Scrap" the big bots collectively say.
They exchange looks among each other and the blue one lets out a groan. The "tiny" blue one walks towards House and Wilson.
House walks back to Wilson, his eyes not leaving the blue robot, "Damn, that blue bot has some nice curves."
Wilson slowly turns to House, "Did I hear you right?"
"Damn right you did. My male eyes know good curves when I see one" House says.
The blue bot is now 6 ft from them and it says, "Now you're going to have to come with us. You've seen us, that already places you at risk. Plus, you just witnessed some Decepticon activity."
"Deception?" House asks.
"Risk? How so?" Wilson asks.
"DeceptiCON" the blue robot corrects, "Now, come on. Optimus will explain better."
"Ok ma'am" House says.
Wilson's jaw drops, "You don't even call Cuddy ma'am and she's the dean of medicine!"
House leans into Wilson's ear, "Because Cuddy is not a sentient blue robot lady that is about to take me to her place."
Wilson just profusely blinks at him.
House walks towards the giant sentient robots, "So, where's your place?"
"Not from here," the bulky green robot answers.
The two transform into vehicles. The bulky green one transformed into a military car and the robot lady transformed into a sleek, blue bike.
"I call riding on the blue bike!" House exclaims, "And-" House pulls on Wilson's sleeve, "I'm taking him with me!"
"What?!" Wilson says absolutely bewildered.
"Where are you going to go with your demolished car? Oh you want to walk 40 miles back?" House retorts.
Wilson looks back at his car and his shoulders sag, "Fine."
"Sorry about your car" the big green one says, his expression looking sorry.
"It's fine" Wilson says in a tired voice.
House saunters over to the bike, places his cane in his spot, and positions himself. Then, Wilson gets on and places his hands on his shoulders. House stiffens at the contact.
"Ready to go?" the blue bike (robot lady?) impatiently asks.
House looks back on Wilson and back at the controls, "Yea we are."
The blue bike lady acknowledges, and the green bulk car and blue bike lady start accelerating.
House grips onto the gears tight and Wilson wraps his arms around House so he could get something to hold on to.
House attempts to work the controls but the blue bike lady says, "Nuh uh. I'll be handling the driving."
House deflates and Wilson snickers at him. House gives him the stink eye.
House looks back on the bike, "So what are your names?"
"Mine's Arcee and the big green one is Bulkhead" Arcee replies.
House mmms in acknowledgement. Then he asks, "Where are you taking us?"
"We need to go somewhere a little remote," Arcee answers.
Wilson murmurs behind him, "Great, we are getting kidnapped by giant alien robots."
Arcee lets out a chuckle, "We aren't going to kidnap you, but we do need to take you back to base."
They keep driving for a little longer till they reach country territory. The stars dotting the sky and providing a little bit of light in the darkness.
Arcee comes to a stop, "Alright, you can get off now."
House turns to Wilson, "Yea Wilson, you can let go now."
Wilson quickly retracts his hands and gets off the bike. House follows and takes his cane with him.
Arcee and Bulkhead transform into their robot forms.
Arcee looks down on House and Wilson then places her hand on the side of head, "Ratchet, we need a groundbridge."
House and Wilson exchange a look of confusion, practically telepathically bouncing their confusion off each other.
Then Wilson looks ahead and his jaw drops for at least the third time of the night, "What the-"
It was a bright cyan portal with all sorts of colors swirling around.
Bulkhead and Arcee walk ahead of them. Bulkhead turns to House and Wilson, "Come on."
"Is it safe for humans?" Wilson asks.
"Yes it is" Bulkhead answers.
Wilson looks at House, who's already walking towards the groundbridge. He sighs but follows him regardless.
They reach the other side and immediately feel the side effects of the groundbridge.
Wilson clutches his mouth to stop himself from vomiting.
"My bones feel like they are vibrating" House says.
They gather themselves and take a good look around. Tall, grey walls envelope the place. A yellow bot with black stripes in the periphery. A orange and white bot working with some giant lever and green holographic screens in front of it. On the left, a set of stairs that led to some platform with KIDS ON THE COUCH?!
"What are kids-" Wilson lets out.
An orange and white bot turns to them and his eyes widen like House and Wilson murdered his family.
"What are two new humans doing here?" the orange and white bot asks incredulously.
Bulkhead explains, "These two saw us fight Breakdown."
THUD THUD
The whole room shakes with the thuds. Everyone turns to the direction of thuds. A HUGE red and blue bot enters the room. He looks down at House and Wilson then back at Bulkhead and Arcee.
"Bulkhead and Arcee, why are they here?" the red and blue bot asks.
"They saw us while we were fighting Breakdown," Arcee answers.
The red and blue acknowledges her and he looks back at them, "Hello, I'm Optimus Prime and we are autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron, also known as Autobots."
"So why are robotic organisms on an organic planet?" Wilson asks.
"To protect your planet from Decepticons" Optimus responds.
House rolls his eyes and murmurs to himself, "Yea right."
Wilson gives him a death glare and House closes his mouth. Wilson turns back to Optimus, "So who are the Decepticons and why are they here?"
"Remember that big blue bot you saw and maybe the purple cars you saw earlier?" Arcee interjects.
Wilson and House nod.
"Those guys were the decepticons," Arcee says.
Wilson and House acknowledge then they look back to Optimus bends down to them, "The Decepticons are here because our planet is uninhabitable, ravaged by centuries of civil war."
"Great, so we got tied up in a war that spanned over galaxies" House says.
Wilson turns to House and chides him like a child.
"No, we're sorry for dragging you into our war," Optimus says,
"So is this why you have children here" Wilson interrupts.
Optimus looks at him for a bit before answering,"Yes, but now that you know of our existence and Decepticons know of yours, we need to make sure that you are protected."
"Optimus, just because I was grateful for the children last week does not mean I want more humans," Ratchet says in a exasperated tone.
Optimus gives him a look and Ratchet lets out a heavy sigh. Then, he goes back to some work and grumbling.
Wilson looks at Optimus baffled, "Optimus-"
"PRIME!"
Optimus turns to the source of the sound, "Yes Agent Fowler"
"Half a building was smashed into and a car destroyed! Do you know how many things I had to-" Agent Fowler stops talking when his eyes land on Wilson and House.
Agent Fowler looks back at Optimus, "MORE CIVILIANS?!"
"Hey fleshie," Bulkhead calls out ,"They are fine. If it weren't for us, they would probably splattered by the Cons."
"And we will be protecting them," Optimus adds on.
Agent Fowler groans, "Ugh you really need to keep your team together."
"Hey!" Wilson cries out. Agent Fowler turns to him.
"Look, you keep talking about us and haven't even bothered to talk to us" gesturing to both House and himself.
Wilson takes in a deep sigh, "Look, we have lives outside of all of this. And I want compensation for my car."
"Fine, you will get compensation for your car if ONLY you two sign an NDA" Fowler proposes.
"Deal"
"Aww I wanted to tell my team about the transforming robots I saw"
Wilson gives House the side eye then he turns back to Agent Fowler to make sure he sticks with his side of the deal.
"Alright, you got it..." Fowler drawls, extending his arm.
"Dr. Wilson," they shake hands.
"And you are?" Fowler turns to House.
"Dr. House" House introduces himself, "Ok, now we need to go back home."
"I do have to agree. We both have work tomorrow."
"Dr. Wilson and Dr. House, Ratchet will groundbridge you back" Optimus says, "Just give him your address."
Wilson gives his address and Ratchet groundbridges them back to Wilson's house.
House and Wilson just stare blankly at the wall for a bit, remaining silent. Then, House finally breaks silence, "Well, your brother wasn't wrong about the transforming robots."
"Yep he wasn't" Wilson replies, "Wait, the kids."
"The kids" House repeats.
"Guess you'll be seeing kids more often," Wilson smirks, "And robots who lost their home and still protecting us. Maybe they'll rub off on you."
"Ughh now you ruined the coolness of meeting transforming robots" House walks away from him. Wilson playfully rolls his eyes and heads to his room.
House attempts to follow Wilson to his room, but Wilson keep his hand, "You're sleeping on the couch."
House pouts but complies. He heads back to the couch.
"Good night House!" Wilson yells from his room and then he turns off the lights.
House watches Wilson go and he softly says, "Good night Wilson."
He closes his eyes and goes back to sleep.