Chapter Text
The autumn change to winter air smelled fresh, the lights illuminated in the dark morning were breathtaking to look at.
Meanwhile… Shaoyou was rushing to catch his bus, unfortunately the past week it had become a routine for him which he wasn't delighted with.
He promised himself, he would wake up earlier to get ready and have some spare time to stay at home before leaving…
It's what he planned but couldn't achieve because he had dreaded changing universities, to start fresh, away from people he knew.
He did what he waited for, albeit he decided to change when he himself was in a start phase of changing, forgetting old habits of his.
What he discarded, what he didn't even try to think about, was the forgotten, covered stress, he had built inside of him.
And without him knowing it turned into a mixture of unknown stress, that shadowed him everywhere.
It was horrible.
Two smooth weeks spent studying at the new university and everything went as dreamed of, until suddenly it didn't.
𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃
The following days Shaoyou was overwhelmed by homework and certain project deadlines.
Each day he felt drained, overstimulated, he couldn't keep up with his studies, it was torturing.
As his dreams shattered like fragile glass, he was the one cut.
𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃
It was only the beginning when he was called out to the principal’s office.
Shaoyou knocked on the wooden door, which made an echo through the silent hallway.
“Mr. Sheng Shaoyou, I have noticed your lack of presence in your work,”
She made every word sound like wrongdoing done on purpose.
“And for a student like you, your grades are a mess.”
Shaoyou knew as of his current state his previous efforts would wither away, but nothing could help from his heart thudding against his ribs like a storm that couldn't be easily eased down, from hearing those words aloud.
“You can try by working 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 to fix your catastrophe, but clearly you aren't doing that.”
Shaoyou snapped back in shape as a cold sweat ran down his temple, with a sudden sharp ache in his chest that all he chose to do was 𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘦.
“I promise that will change effectively”
Shaoyou's words tasted like pure ash and an attempt to convince the principal or most likely himself.
“Actions prove your words, but words 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 prove your actions, Mr. Sheng,”
𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃
The winter evening had already turned into the deepest color of dark blue, filled with bright street lights and a breeze that whispered fresh.
Though for Shaoyou it wasn't as beautiful.
His head was hurting, ears ringing and his vision was doubling.
And like a cherry on top, he couldn't breathe properly, he tried to take deep breaths every now and then.
But the words that were said to him kept getting stuck in his mind, and as if his body was triggered, his chest ached again.
𝘈 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨.
He suppressed it, taking even more deeper breaths.
…
“𝘐𝘧 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘹, 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.”
He muttered quietly, as a small self-mocking smile touched his lips.
Then again.
Shaoyou never really thought about how much a single friend would help him.
Because, way back, he was in a state where, not having friends sounded better than having friends.
With thinking, the aching feeling struck again but this time it curled in his stomach as he felt the desperate need for somebody to listen to him.
He craved a shared understanding.
That someone could actually comprehend what he was feeling and the meaning behind his lost words.
But that rarely happens when you have no idea where to start looking, because communicating with the wrong people would bring more suffering than helping.
But no communication would be just as bad, because without it, you’d never know that maybe, you just missed your destined person.
𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃
Surprisingly after everything happened in such a short amount of time, he still had hope.
But it didn't stop for days to roll by with wretched agony, tearing him open, leaving him vulnerable.
He started having almost no motivation for anything associated with school work.
He hardly understood what the teachers were explaining in each lesson.
His mind was blank while staring at a worksheet, which he could once solve faster than anybody else in the lecture hall.
Now, it felt like letters were mixing together, creating a foreign language, he 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 speak.
He was losing himself due to stress, whose creation was still a mystery for Shaoyou.
A small part of him screamed at why nobody seemed to care about him looking like a wet rag every day.
Was it due to the large number of people in this university, or because nobody cared for one another?
Even the new students didn't seem to bother checking up on others.
Maybe the stereotype in this suffocating place is not bothering to ask a simple question.
“𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺?”
…
Shaoyou sighed as the aching feeling throbbed in his chest,
the teacher wasn't present at the moment, therefore it felt odd.
He wasn't familiar with students chatting while the lesson was ongoing.
He tried to finally observe surroundings and his course mates, which he hasn't done since he enrolled there.
Everyone was busy with lousy chattering, obnoxious laughing, doing everything possible to make his ears ring louder and louder.
Everyone was exactly a copy of one another except for… 𝘩𝘪𝘮
His hair was black, in the shade of an obsidian, his bangs slightly above his eyebrows.
He visibly had earpods in his ear, looking like he was in his own world, so peaceful, so unbothered.
It felt a bit agitating, something Shaoyou longed for - 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦.
As if he felt Shaoyou staring at him, their eyes met.
Shaoyou’s breath hitched, his heart skipped a beat.
His eyes were deadly black, like an unknown night but they weren't dangerous.
They weren't quiet, calm but alive with everything hidden inside of them.
But there was an odd, unknown feeling Shaoyou felt while holding eye contact.
He felt a sense of safety, comfort that came from that gaze.
And neither of them planned to break eye contact…