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Leo had been expecting - anticipating even - a lot of things when he began following Spoke. Like Spoke’s manic murmuring that he often didn’t seem to realise he did in a voice that was so layered in the calls of the void that it was a wonder he could understand himself at all.
Spoke moved like a raving madman, constantly looking behind, muttering growing louder and somehow even more indistinct before quieting once more into a screeching silence that left Leo’s ears ringing. Leaving him wondering how the resounding echo in Spoke’s voice was something he never seemed to notice.
Spoke circled three times and looped six, until he deemed it safe enough to continue walking, all in complete silence. Leo almost lost him more times than he was willing to admit. He was fairly certain he had no hope of finding him whatsoever had the other been invisible, as he tended to be. Leo truly had gotten lucky.
Spoke walked on and on, travelling dimensions and breaking portals behind him in a frenzy, muscles working on autopilot, like it was routine. It only made Leo more and more certain Spoke was behind the murders, though that was as obvious as the sky was blue. Jumper was just being stubborn and frankly paranoid.
He had to put his thoughts away and focus on the task at hand. Spoke tried to lose him several more times but he was fairly certain if Spoke actually thought he was being followed he wouldn’t have gone this route at all. A habit then? Or was he stalling?
Leo could only carefully observe as they made their way through the terrain. Finally, after an undetermined amount of time, Spoke stopped at a random hillside within the overworld and unlocked a mechanism, walking in. Leo almost missed him.
Leo would have missed him if he didn’t pause to- to clear out his inventory? That seemed to be what he was doing when he brought out an enderchest and began placing items.
Leo followed his steps after two minutes of waiting on the other side, entering the secret base and creeping behind him all the way, being careful to match his steps to Spoke’s jarringly still movements. He hadn’t seen Spoke so inanimate since-
Since the mafia.
Spoke opened the door.
Of all things Leo had expected, Spoke still being loyal to Ash wasn’t even on Leo’s radar. Yet that was what he appeared to be seeing.
Was it? It was- it wasn’t like Spoke at all. He could understand manic Spoke, he could understand Spoke being a conniving manipulative bastard, but Spoke could barely get himself to work with Leo without getting clammy, it felt unreal to imagine Spoke willingly working for Ash now that Ash had his power stripped. By Spoke. Was that a lie too? No, Mapicc would have told him if it was. His spies would have heard something. People would know if it was.
Leo swallowed roughly, not daring to enter the room after him. He pressed his ear to the door and listened. Not a word passed between them. It unnerved him further than he’d be willing to admit. At least Ash tended to be a chatterbox. Did they know he was listening? No, he wouldn’t have made it this far if so.
Finally he heard the sound of a door creak open and two sets of footsteps. Only when they began to fade did he dare open the door to follow, luckily it didn’t creak and the sound of tiles were muffled against boots he’d specifically designed for stealth.
He followed just barely close enough he could behind a corridor if either one of them turned. Neither did. He took the time to truly examine them both. Spoke still seemed entirely too still, but now it at least made sense. What didn’t was the way he was walking. Behind Ash, head down; tame. Not even in the mafia had Spoke been so… subservient.
Ash was moving the same way as always. Like he was on top of the world. Unreadable otherwise. Leo grit his teeth, wondering if he’d get a better read if he’d been a proper spy with actual training instead.
Well he’d gotten this far, the finer details could wait.
After many long winding hallways and trick doors and secret entrances Leo gave up on keeping track of, they arrived at a room entirely out of place for how simplistic it was, aside from the heavy wooden door with enough varied locks it could get even the best lock-pickers to sweat.
Leo didn’t dare step a foot in the room, and so was forced to only catch glimpses of it as Spoke and Ash walked in. The only splotch of colour against grey walls was reddish-brown smudges of what was most definitely blood, helped along by the faint scent of iron still lingering from when the door first opened.
Leo carefully leaned onto it, for all it seemed well locked, it didn’t seem to have the best sound-proofing, a flaw he was surprised was overlooked. Or maybe Ash had never particularly cared for sound proofing in the first place.
The following conversation could barely be counted as such, seeing as it was a simple enquiry and an even simpler answer.
“Totems?” Ash asked.
“Three.” Spoke replied.
It was silent again, aside from Spoke’s breathing turning harsher, a distant static-like tinge to it. He wondered once more if Spoke knew he was even doing it.
Then Ash began his rambling, some inane raving about Spoke being a mess as if that wasn’t clear as day, though it was interesting to note how Ash seemed to antagonise Spoke. It unnerved him.
“You’d think you would stop needing to lean on me the moment you feel the slightest bit hurt,” Ash continued, leaving Leo feeling like he was missing some rather important context.
“See? You take it so well,” Ash said, voice cloying and Leo reared back, eyes widening. What? Cold slipped down Leo’s spine. There was no way- what the hell was happening behind that door. Did he even want to know anymore? He- nether, he wanted to leave right now. He kept his legs planted firmly on the ground anyway.
“You’re already better than most murderers,” the once-leader continued, and Leo startled, forcing himself to focus back on listening in. Murderer. Ash had called Spoke a murderer. For his past crimes in the mafia? For something else? At least if nothing else, Leo might finally get the truth for his troubles.
A soft thud sounded.
“Oh, you sweet thing,” Ash cooed from behind the door and Leo struggled not to shudder in disgust- “with horns so pretty, it’s a wonder no one else has ripped them out to keep for themselves. It must because the rest of you is too hideous to consider.”
He blanked. What? What the hell was Ash doing? Why hadn’t Spoke made a sound yet- what was happening behind this door?!
Ash rambled on still in that low voice of his, making Leo lose a few words. He heard the word totem tossed in there again and something about Spoke’s greed, otherwise it was indistinct murmurs. Still, it was more than enough to understand far more than he wished to know. Ash was going to cut off Spoke’s horn. And Spoke still hadn’t made any sort of protest.
Leo shouldn’t have jinxed it.
Spoke’s voice finally came through, already wounded, and his breath caught. Spoke sounded anguished. It only got worse from there.
Another softer thud and Leo began hearing little pained whimpers and whines, every once in a while, and suddenly, he heard a sickening crack and Spoke screamed.
It rang in his ears, broke into something pitiful, and then it just didn’t stop. He wasn’t sure when his heart began hammering in his chest but it felt almost as loud as the events happening from behind the door. It finally, finally ended with a shriek that he could barely recognise as Spoke’s, his voice scraped raw and ruined.
Leo had to focus on calming his breathing, stepping away from the door before anyone could open it in his face.
A minute passed, then two.
“Spoke,” Ash hissed, sounding for the first time in this encounter, upset.
“The totem.”
Leo’s stomach dropped. How many did Spoke say he had? Three was it? Did that mean he’d already popped one? Was Leo going to have to sit here through two more times of this? The door was locked, he’d heard Ash lock it, should he still try his hand at lockpicking? Should he just tear down the damned door and tnt minecart Ash right then and there? He fought the urge to pace.
He still hadn’t received a proper confession. Fuck. Fuck, he felt like the worst scum in the overworld. He did none of those things. All he did instead was listen.
Listen to the way Spoke sobbed and wailed, listened to the way he begged (Leo wasn’t ready for that, somehow it hadn’t even crossed his mind, he wanted to erase Spoke’s pleading from his memory) only for Ash to then offer his false comfort. There was a throwaway line about Spoke deserving this. If he was the killer of those guards…
Leo had come here expecting to deliver retribution, if Spoke had indeed killed the guards, he would have- what would he have done? Certainly not this. No one deserved to sound like-
Like they were having their intestines ripped out. Leo didn’t know what was happening in there and it scared him far more than he dared to admit.
He wasn’t sure how long the crying went on for, didn’t want to find out, hoped desperately that his brain was tricking him when it felt like an eternity. At some point, Ash mentioned something else that caught his attention, and he latched onto it like a lifeline, anything to distract himself from the fact he wasn’t doing shit-
“You’re only good for destruction, for causing pain to others and then forcing others to cause you pain if only to assuage your own guilt.”
It hit like an anvil. Ash wasn’t mocking him or lying when he said this was what Spoke wanted. Spoke willingly walked into this base completely defenseless, knowing what would happen, and did not do it for some elaborate plan or greater plot. He did it because he couldn’t handle his own guilt.
He was distracted from his line of thinking when the sound of another totem popping and the accompanying screech came through. He swallowed, hands shaking.
This time it was silent for four minutes until he heard footsteps again. Coming towards the door in slow clicks. Only one pair.
Alarm bells shot in Leo’s mind and he moved to hide behind a pillar, checking the time he had left on his invis. Forty-five minutes. He grit his teeth, he wouldn’t be able to re-pot in here.
The door opened. Leo slipped in the moment Ash stepped away, not daring to second guess himself, and moved to a corner of the room. Watching. Spoke was still bleeding sluggishly, though the wounds were mostly because of the fact the totem had to rebuild his body while there were ice spikes in the way. Leo had seen it a couple times but it never stopped disturbing him. How Spoke managed to bare it, let alone seek it out, Leo couldn’t understand. He couldn’t understand Spoke at all.
It drove him mad.
The sight of Spoke alone was sickening. Chunks of ice and blood and gore lay scattered around him, some of the ice had melted and started staining the ground, which left Leo to wonder if the blood stains from before were also Spoke’s. Seeing as this seemed to be routine, he didn’t consider it unlikely.
He still wanted to scrub the image from his mind. He pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes and pressed hard enough it threatened to make him dizzy. Rarely did the battles he fought with Spoke get this artistically bloody. Slowly, he blinked his eyes back open, forcing them to lock onto the voidling’s face.
Spoke’s eyes seemed entirely glazed over, dull without a single flicker of recognition in them. He didn’t even seem to twitch as skin stitched itself back together, still in a way only the dead were. Leo had to restrain himself from trying to check for a pulse. The irrational thought was disproven by the occasional blink Spoke made.
Somehow it made this whole scene even more uncomfortable.
Leo waited silently, and about three minutes later, Ash returned with regeneration potions. Likely to speed up the process. Leo didn’t want to think of why.
The thought that he could so easily kill Ash returned. He had no armour on, just a swift axe to the throat would be the end of him. It would be so easy. But it was reckless. Ash could stasis away if he hears Leo make a sound, he could threaten to kill Spoke or hold him hostage in some way, there were too many factors to consider. For now Leo could only force himself to observe. At least now he wasn’t guessing what was happening.
Ash didn’t seem at all concerned over the state Spoke was in, or the fact his own clothes were soaked in blood as he kneeled over Spoke’s prone form, holding the regen pot to his lips and angling his head to force him to swallow. Ash did it like it was practiced. It set Leo’s teeth on edge.
Spoke didn’t even seem to shift. Entirely unaware anything was happening at all while Ash propped him onto his lap, putting away the empty vial. After that it was just more waiting. For what, Leo didn’t know.
Ash began playing with Spoke’s hair some minutes later, a little too carefully to be fully absentminded.
Finally, Spoke’s tail began swaying again, almost imperceptibly and Spoke leaned into the hold Ash had on him, blinking faster and seeming to lock onto Ash’s gaze.
“You were gone for a good ten minutes, I tried to finish up, but you weren’t even aware enough to hold a totem anymore,” Ash informed Spoke the moment he figured the voidling was aware enough to hear him, then added a bit of degradation while Spoke was still mostly out of it. The manipulation was so plain obvious the fact it was working physically pained Leo.
Ash began pushing for Spoke to take out the next totem in his inventory. The last one, Leo’s mind supplied with something akin to relief.
Spoke hesitated. Leo’s heart clenched, Ash really could switch from sickly sweet to angry far too quickly for anyone’s comfort. He’d shoved Spoke away roughly, his words hitting the voidling right where it hurt and causing him to snap back at last. It was the most Spoke-like Spoke had sounded this entire event, even if it was laced with far too much desperation, too much regret.
It was terrifying how easily Ash managed to shut it down, snapping back harder and forcing Spoke to comply anyway.
The screaming started again and Leo couldn’t look away. He regretted walking into the room. He should’ve stayed outside, if only to spare his psyche.
No matter what Ash thought or said, Spoke didn’t deserve this. No one did. He wasn’t sure when he started shaking again but he forced his breathing to remain constant, zoning out Spoke’s pleading. Ash stopped all pretense of even pretending to care as he stabbed into the smaller man over and over. Until he went quiet and limp, until Ash managed to carve his name into the now docile voidling’s skin, over and over, along with other things Leo didn’t dare look too deeply into.
The relief he felt when the totem popped at long last was unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. It was over. He could finally get out of here, and drag Spoke along with him. He could recalibrate with Jumper, he thought as Ash walked out, leaving Spoke’s bloodied form limp on the floor. He waited until he heard the footsteps recede before approaching Spoke. Spoke didn’t even stir.
He moved to a crouch, trying to figure out the easiest way to get Spoke out of here. He didn’t know the layout of this place at all, and if Spoke stayed dead weight he wouldn’t be able to carry him for long. Unfortunately, he wasn’t given the chance to consider anything for long as footsteps were already approaching once more. Ash was only gone for a couple minutes. Why was he coming back already?!
Leo huddled back into the corner he’d stuffed himself in just in time for Ash to open the door and close it once more, this time he had something with him. A furnace and a… a stamp. A large one. Nothing any kind of envelope called for.
Leo’s breath hitched and he hoped it was hidden by the crackling of fire. Spoke had run out of totems, what the hell was Ash doing?
He watched warily as Ash set the furnace up, getting the heat going and placing the stamp directly over the flames before moving back to Spoke. He wasn’t going to- Ash wasn’t going to mark Spoke? Surely?
Except why wouldn’t he?
Spoke’s blood-soaked hoodie was hiked up just enough to reveal a part of his pitch black torso that wasn’t stained with slowly melting ice and Ash pressed the stamp right against bare skin. Leo sucked in a quiet gasp at the sound of sizzling skin and the smell of burnt flesh afterwards, the nausea leaving him forcing himself not to gag. He was so, so relieved when Ash picked everything back up and left, not locking the door behind him. Leo wouldn’t be leaving through it.
He waited another ten minutes, checking his invis duration and hissing when only eight minutes remained. Time was up and Ash didn’t seem to be coming back. Decision made, he scurried to Spoke’s side, shaking him slightly, not entirely sure when he’d passed out.
Spoke didn’t stir.
With an irritated huff, Leo brought out an ender chest, grabbed the materials for a nether portal and began placing, constantly looking behind his back as he did so, eyes frantic. Once it was lit, he moved back to Spoke, still out like a light despite the ruckus he was making. He’d always known Spoke to be a light sleeper, especially with his time in BAT, seeing him so still unnerved Leo more than he thought it would, but given the circumstances, he allowed himself the grace of discomfort.
Anyone would be more than a little unnerved after witnessing that.
He hooked an arm under Spoke’s legs and one on his back, keeping away from the still unhealed burn mark. He’d need to find a regen pot soon before it scarred. Spoke finally shifted at that, and it was only to lean further into Leo’s chest. He grimaced.
Once Spoke was secured, Leo stepped through the swirling purple light, tightening his hold on Spoke as the spinning began and ending up on the other side with the slightest hint of dizziness, long since used to nether travel.
It must be quite the experience when sleeping however, as Spoke’s eyes snapped open and he jolted almost entirely out of Leo’s grip, disoriented.
Oh, great. He could finally stop playing prince charming.
“Mape..?” Spoke muttered, blinking rapidly until Leo was in focus.
Leo cringed. “Guess again.”
He saw the exact moment Spoke realised whose arms he was in, tensing and pushing roughly. Leo was tempted to drop him but he still looked like a strong breeze would be enough to have him keel over, “relax, dude, I don’t want to drop you, you look like you’re on half a heart.”
Spoke did still long enough for him to set him down, and the moment his feet were on the ground he tried to step back, eyeing their surroundings.
“How did you- where did-?” Spoke swallowed the rest of the question, checking his intercom instead, eyes widening.
Leo figured it wasn’t unlikely Spoke recognised their coordinates, grabbing his pickaxe and breaking the portal.
“Come on, let’s go before one of Clown’s buddies finds us. I hate nether travel,” he muttered the last part more to himself.
Spoke grabbed the hand on his shoulder with an iron grip forcing it off. “Leo, Leo-“
“How did you find me?” He asked, hissed more like.
Leo stared at him, expression unreadable, “I followed you. Ash, huh? That’s who you decide to go to?”
Spoke takes a step back, then another. Leo follows him, even as his shoulders start to shake.
“You weren’t supposed to- no one was- you stalked me?!” He gasped out, tail thrashing while the rest of him shook, the void around seeming to fall apart and swirl back together rapidly. In anger? In fear? Leo didn’t bother deciphering.
“You had no fucking right-!” The voidling spat, shoving the hand still on his shoulder off and taking a step back, then two.
Leo followed him, eyes boring into his skull. “Spoke, you can’t even handle the weight of your own guilt, you think you have any say on my own wrongdoings? When you would rather bleed your sins out than face your mistakes?” He grabbed the front of Spoke’s bloodied hoodie, lifting him onto his toes so that they were eye to eye.
Spoke’s hands grabbed onto his wrists, eyes blazing, “shut up. Shut up, Leo, shut up. You don’t know shit-”
Leo just laughed. “No? No, don’t I? Tell me, then, Spoke. Tell me why’d you’d want to go get yourself killed thrice over in Ash’s hands, then.”
He let go of Spoke’s hoodie, watching dispassionately as Spoke stumbled on a netherrack wall behind him and tumbled down, eyes wide and breathing uneven and heavy.
“Fuck off,” Spoke bit through clenched teeth, “just tell me what you want and leave.”
“I want you to admit it. Admit you killed them. Admit you killed the spies,” Leo demanded, “we both already know you did.”
“I didn’t!” Came Spoke’s predictable reply, voice shrill, “I didn’t- it’s not- how long were you watching for?!”
“All of it,” Leo replies, “now stop lying.”
Spoke lets out a distressed sound.
“I’m not…” it came out more like a plea, ringing hollow between the both of them. It made the fury bubbling in Leo overflow, and before he knew it he’d knocked Spoke back and held a sword to his throat.
Spoke’s eyes widened, and Leo saw the exact moment they glazed over, he glanced to the movement in the other's hand and found a totem in it. It sent him back to that room, got such a visceral reaction out of him, he found himself stepping back and sheathing his sword once more.
“Damnit, Spoke. Damnit,” he cursed at the trembling form of the voidling.
Spoke didn’t reply, growing quiet and voidal form fuzzing around the edges. Fuck. Leo couldn’t afford an episode from Spoke right now, especially not in the nether.
“Spoke,” Leo snapped, grabbing Spoke’s shoulder and jostling him just enough the voidling’s head tilted towards him. “I’m not fucking Ash!”
Spoke’s head dropped back down and he let out a huff of breath, then another, only seeming to go on and on until he was hiccuping, his shoulders shaking with the force of his sobs. Leo wanted to bash his own head into a wall. What the hell did he do now?
Except at some point Spoke was doubled over with his hand covering his mouth and Leo had to narrow his eyes to realise Spoke wasn’t crying, no, the crescent shapes of his eyes meant something entirely different.
“Are- are you laughing right now?” He asked, incredulous.
Spoke finally wheezed laughing so hard he ended up hacking a lung before sputtering out, “y-yeah I should hope you aren’t fucking him,” only to double over once more once he got the words out.
Leo took a startled step back, eyes wide. “Oh, fucking End, Spoke. I will actually- I’m being serious with you! I’m not Ash and BAT isn’t the nether damned invisible mafia.”
Spoke only seemed to laugh harder, now gaining an edge of mania, “of course it isn’t,” he snickered, “you’re not Ash and BAT won’t ever be the mafia but we still put on netherite armour in a world filled with players in iron and diamond and we still drink invis and do tasks at your command. C’mon, Leo, that ring any bells?”
“Then why did you never say anything,” Leo demanded, “if you really hated it at BAT, why didn’t you speak up?”
The bark of laughter Spoke let out was brittle, “oh, please,” he snarled. “Do you remember how you got me to join in the first place?! You sent me into a trap, threatened me to come with you, then gave me tasks to follow and invis to swallow.” Spoke followed it with a quiet, “oh, wow, that rhymed,” that for Leo’s own sake he ignored.
Leo narrowed his eyes, even when guilt panged in his chest, “bro, Spoke you saw right through that trap don’t act like you didn’t, you were gunning for BAT since you decided to team with me.”
“That’s your excuse? That I knew what I was getting into? Yeah, I thought the same thing when joining the-“
Leo heard the sound of footsteps and both their eyes snapped to where they heard them. Spoke scrambled up, “I- we- whatever, we need to go before we’re found,” he said. Leo wouldn’t admit it but he was almost glad for the distraction.
Spoke moved to grab something else from his inventory only to pause.
“Enderchest,” he bit.
Leo raised a brow and stared for a moment. The footsteps got louder. Spoke glared, unmoving.
Leo sighed, bringing one out and watching as Spoke geared with startling efficiency.
Then he started mining, motioning for Leo to follow. Leo forced himself to walk without thinking too hard about it.
He’d still be able to drop Spoke or abandon him worst come to worst.
Spoke however did not lead them astray, instead, he dug right into a tunnel he must’ve made a while back and kept moving, not glancing behind to see if Leo was following.
Finally they walked far enough an ice bridge appeared, stretching as far as the eye can see and with enough branches Leo wondered how far these catacombs spread out. Is this why Spoke preferred nether travel?
“How have you kept this hidden for as long as you did?” He asked, feeling like the fact Spoke could achieve this alone only proved Spoke’s guilt. Spoke didn’t face him.
“Clown’s people only look for trespassers trying to dig into places they either reside in or haven’t finished looting. This place is neither,” was his explanation.
Leo clicked his tongue. They said nothing more as they ice boated, taking enough turns Leo lost track of their path halfway through. If Spoke decided to send him to a trap, he very well could. It had Leo subconsciously reaching for railings but he stopped himself.
He didn't want to seem more like a threat than Spoke already thought he was.
Finally, Spoke stopped them roughly at a nether portal. Leo warily noted the lava pool right beside it, clearly man-made.
Spoke stumbled out on shaky legs and it took Leo a moment to realise Spoke's entire frame seemed to be trembling.
“Hey, uh,” he began, awkwardly, “you… need a hand?”
Spoke snarled at him in response, entirely animalistic with pupils dialed wide and face contorted in a scowl. Leo stared, eyes wide. Spoke’s own eyes turned owlish, clearly he hadn't done that on purpose.
“Totems remove all potion effects, including lingering ones,” Spoke said, uncorking a vial from his inventory and chugging it, “so I’m fucking freezing.”
He collapsed into the lava pool, shuddering. Leo had to restrain a scoff. Void or not how the hell was Spoke still cold in the nether?
“I think it’s just the fire res you down like candy,” he replied, unamused.
Spoke didn’t deign to respond. “Go through. It's my entrance to BAT,” he dismissed.
Leo didn’t move. Spoke turned to him.
“You go to Ash because you feel guilty,” he stated, ignoring the way Spoke tensed. “You go to him because you’d rather bleed your own guilt out than actually get better because it’s so much easier to let someone else break you down than to actually fix your fuck-ups.”
Spoke seemed to curl into himself, deeper into the lava, Leo didn’t stop. “You’re cruel, Spoke. You’re a murderer and you’ve convinced yourself you’re a saint. That every kill you do is for some greater purpose because your own selfish desperation isn’t good enough a reason and we both know it.”
“Leo, Leo, I am trying. I am trying not to- to hurt others. I am trying to make things right with those I have hurt. But I keep- I keep, Leo, what the fuck do you want me to do? Do you want me dead, is that it? Should I just-“
“How many.” Leo interrupted.
Spoke’s eyes flickered to his, before moving away.
“Of your guards?” He asked, tail flicking hard enough to splash some lava to the wall behind Spoke.
Leo grit his teeth. Of course Spoke needed him to specify, as if that wasn’t a confession in and of itself.
“Yes,” he bit out.
“Two,” Spoke murmured, “two.” He repeated, voice a whisper. “Are you gonna try and kill me?”
Leo sighed, sitting down in front of the lava pool Spoke’s head was just barely peeking out of, eyes pitying. “Oh, Spoke… What have you gotten yourself into?”
For once, Spoke didn’t have a response.