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Turns out, climbing a radio tower is a lot harder than expected. The ladder seemed to go on forever, and they were barely halfway to the top. Will felt like he couldn't breathe, and the toxic air of the Upside Down mixed with being so high up was not helping. God, he had to take a break as soon as possible.
When Will reached the next platform on the WSQK tower he scrambled off the ladder as quickly as he possibly could and collapsed against the railing, breathing hard. The others hadn’t taken a break yet, and they were all far ahead of him. How did they make climbing a literal radio tower—in a wormhole about to collide with another planet, mind you—look so easy?
Will closed his eyes. They were really high up.
“Hey, um…” Will heard from his left. He wasn’t the only one lagging far behind after all. He looked up at Mike offering him a bottle of water. Will took a drink and gave it back to Mike. Wow, he was thirsty.
“What you said earlier at the Squawk,” Mike shook his head slightly. “I’m sorry.”
What the fuck?
“I mean! Not sorry about what you said! That came out wrong,” Mike corrected, mildly panicked. That’s an understatement, Will thought. “Or, not came out wrong. Jesus Christ.”
Will was shocked he never noticed how bad Mike was at having emotional conversations. Why Will ever thought that Mike was the heart of the Party was beyond him. Will laughed, “It’s okay.” He couldn’t look Mike in the eyes.
“No it’s–it’s not. I should’ve been there for you, and I wasn’t. And I guess I was so self-absorbed that I didn’t see it.” What the hell was Mike trying to say? How on earth was he supposed to have known that Will was in love with him? He didn’t even know half of it, Will had called Mike his Tammy just so he wouldn’t know how deep Will’s feelings for him were. Will didn’t want him to know. “I just. I feel like an idiot and I… I’m sorry.”
So Mike was doing this here, now, in the Upside Down while they’re trying to save the world by blowing up another one. Will would be so lucky.
“You don’t have to be sorry. And you are not an idiot. You’re not.” Was it still lying if at least half of the sentence was true? Mike just looked at him with this sad, empty look in his eyes and Will just couldn’t tell him the truth. Tell him how much it hurt to love him and not be loved back. How much Will blamed Mike for it. “It’s just… I didn’t even understand it myself for the longest time. I just… I think it needed to happen the way it happened. I needed to find my own way.”
But God Will wished that it didn’t happen that way. He wished that he could live in a world where things could finally work out for him, that he could at least be loved in the way that wanted. Will desperately wished that he didn’t have to do this on his own—to come out at the brink of the end of the world, and still be rejected by the boy he's loved for longer than he could remember.
“But what matters is that you’re still here, and you still think we can be friends.” Friends. The word barely covered what their relationship was. Even if it was purely platonic—for Mike it was, Will supposed—they meant so much to each other. They had almost died multiple times by each other’s side. Mike had told him that asking Will to be his friend all those years ago was the best thing he’d ever done for God’s sake. Will loved him, romantically and platonically. But Mike loved him just platonically. So they’d never be more than just friends, really.
Barely friends, Will thought bitterly. Despite everything, they’d still be distant when they weren’t fighting for their lives recently. Will had lived in Mike’s basement for the past year, and didn’t get much more than fleeting glances—albeit oddly charged glances—and slightly awkward small talk when they were hanging out alone. Despite how much they meant to each other, they were still growing apart.
Maybe Will was the stupid one for falling in love with someone as emotionally unintelligent as Mike.
“Friends? No thanks,” Mike said, then paused for a second too long.
What the actual fuck was happening. Will started to panic.
Up until this point, Will had thought that Mike was okay with him being gay, having a crush on him. Did Will really misunderstand Mike’s reaction all the way from the Rightside Up to this godforsaken radio tower in a fucking wormhole? Several hours must’ve passed since they left, at least. Was Will really that oblivious? Last he checked the Upside Down didn’t warp reality. Was this Henry fucking with him again? Putting visions in his head to try and make Will join him? Or maybe Mike really didn’t want to be friends after all. Maybe he was disgusted by the idea of Will liking him.
Mike’s eyebrows were raised and his tone and face made it seem like he was joking. Maybe he didn’t take Will’s coming out seriously. Maybe he didn’t even understand Will was talking about him when he said he was my Tammy.
Is he really that stupid?
But what if…
What if Mike was trying to say he wanted to be more than friends? Will didn’t want to let himself hope, but it honestly wouldn’t be that big of a surprise. Initially, when Will had asked Robin about signals, he thought he was overthinking everything Mike was doing. He thought that he was looking too deep into Mike doing small things like bumping into his arm while walking next to him; like that whole you’re like a sorcerer, your powers are innate conversation that Will was sure was flirting, because of what Robin said. Was Mike actually trying to tell Will that his feelings were reciprocated? It seemed more likely for the radio tower to spontaneously collapse.
“Best friends.” Mike grinned.
Okay, what the fuck?
What the actual fuck?
Will didn’t know if Mike had a, frankly, unnecessarily long pause on purpose to make him panic or—or think that Will wasn’t the only one harbouring feelings or what. What an asshole move.
Will just had to laugh, and Mike laughed with him. Mike didn’t know that Will was laughing at him.
Will was so pissed off. He bared his heart and soul to literally everyone here—and to some people he didn’t even know, and to Mr. Clarke for some reason—to protect them all. What right did Mike have to toy with his feelings like that? What the hell was wrong with him, to make a joke like that? Intentional or not, what a fucking douchebag.
Will wanted to either throw Mike off this tower, hundreds of feet off the ground or kiss him on the mouth to never let him speak again.
Will must have blacked out for a second, because the next thing he knew he was lifting Mike up by the knees and tossing him over the railing. The bottle of water Mike was holding fell to Will’s feet.
Man, they really were high up.
Will caught a glimpse of Mike’s face as he was plummeting to his death from the middle of the WSQK radio tower, he just looked mildly confused—as if to say what did I do? He wasn’t even screaming.
Will looked down with a strange sense of satisfaction, like a weight was lifted off his chest. He didn’t have to deal with Michael “Can’t Grasp Emotion” Wheeler anymore. Thank God. His only regret was that he never got the chance to at least kiss him. Though, from what El has told him, and what he’s seen for himself, Will didn’t think kissing Mike would be an experience that would be worth everything Will’s been through since 1983.
Will accepted that he’ll never know.
Thank God he didn’t kiss him.
He picked up Mike’s abandoned water bottle and took a swig as he heard Mike’s body hit the ground below with a loud, wet, reverberating thud.
Will started climbing the ladder again to catch up with the others. They had a world to save.