Chapter Text
“Niijima-kun, I appreciate your concern over these… rumors, and of course I expect you to look out for students’ well being, but I tasked you to find evidence of the Phantom Thieves.”
Why won’t he take this seriously? The safety of the student body is at risk. There have been so many anonymous reports of the mafia preying on students. Everyone is scared. Principal Kobayakawa dabs his forehead with a handkerchief, which fails to do anything to stem his perspiration. It’s not even that hot in here.
"Kobayakawa-sensei, I fear this matter could be dangerous to our students if we don't—"
"Niijima-kun, I… understand that some students are worried about this, but the matter of the Phantom Thieves must be addressed first and foremost. I can't divert more resources away from it to to help you with some sort of wild goose chase. If you are truly concerned about these blackmail rumors then I suggest that you look into the matter yourself, so long as it doesn’t hinder your primary investigation, of course. You do after all have a responsibility to uphold with regards to the students and this school."
You want me to solve both problems for you now? Then what exactly is the point of your job?
“I…”
“You must see how this will reflect on you, of course. You are a very capable student, the most capable student at our prestigious academy, in fact, and I know this should be trivial for you. Your sister would certainly have found it to be.”
Trivial? Even Sis would have struggled with this! You have me chasing after something that logically shouldn't be possible, and you call it trivial? Students are getting targeted, harassed and extorted by some sort of mafia and the Phantom Thieves are the only thing you really care about?!
Calm down, Makoto. You already have a lead you can start looking into—that new transfer student Amamiya definitely seems involved somehow, even if I’m not sure how yet. And maybe Amamiya is connected to both problems…
“Now, Niijima-kun, if you are done telling me about these minor matters, I would like to know if you’ve found anything new about the Phantom Thieves. I—we need to uncover the identities of these vile criminals as soon as possible. My… the school’s reputation is on the line.”
So the Phantom Thieves make you look bad, but sheltering Kamoshida is fine? You don’t even care that he drove a student to…
Calm down, Makoto.
But he was complicit! And did nothing!
I let out a tense breath. “I’m afraid I haven’t found very much yet, Kobayakawa-sensei.” At least I haven’t found anything concrete yet. Amamiya was at the center of the Kamoshida… incident, so that does give them a potential motive. It's no accident that I've seen them with Madarame's former pupil, either—there’s no way that it’s just a coincidence. But that’s just a gut feeling. I don’t actually have any proof. Circumstantial evidence doesn't prove anything, and I refuse to accuse Amamiya if there’s a chance they’re innocent after everything they’ve been force to endure here.
I can tell Kobayakawa doesn’t like that by the way he sighs and dabs at his forehead again. “Niijima-kun, must I remind you again how important this is? Surely you must understand how good it would look for you if you brought this matter to a satisfactory conclusion. I could write you a letter of recommendation that would get you into any university you desire. Your future would be set…”
He narrows his eyes.
It’s a threat.
But I can’t say anything for certain yet. I can't even guess at how Amamiya and her friends could have committed this crime if they are really behind this. How could anyone steal a person's heart and make them confess to crimes they intentionally committed? But if they hadn’t, would justice have ever happened otherwise? What crime did the Phantom Thieves actually commit other than expose far more heinous crimes?
“Sensei… I’m doing what I can, but so far I can’t find any connection. Even the method they used to supposedly enact this crime seems like pure fantasy. Isn’t it more reasonable to believe that Kamoshida-sensei just had a change of heart on his own?”
Principal Kobayakawa scoffs and I brace myself. “You really don’t understand the adult world if that’s what you believe, Niijima-kun. Everything was fine before those criminals showed up. We had it all under control, but then Kamoshida-san just had to step out of line and spoil our reputation by exposing himself and that delinquent transfer student for being a pervert. Everyone assumed he was just another girl up until that point, and now we have two scandals to deal with.”
He slams a fist on the table before realizing how much he just let slip, and then coughs to try and compose himself. Something about this situation must be really stressing him out. He usually attempts–and fails—to be far more subtle than this.
Ren Amamiya.
The “delinquent.”
The “boy pretending to be a girl.”
My fist hurts from how tightly I’m clenching it, but I can’t seem to let it relax. Principal Kobayakawa is right, in a way. Kamoshida should have never said anything about Amamiya’s private business. But she’s not a pervert, as far as I can tell. Only Kamoshida has that distinction. Kamoshida ruined any chance of fitting in that Amamiya might have had… and for what? Because Kamoshida didn't like the way she looked at him? Because Kamoshida was the real pervert, the abusive asshole that apparently that the school board turned a blind eye to because—
Calm down, Makoto.
“Sensei, I really am doing my best to look into it. I don’t intend to let you or the school down.”
“Good. I’m sure we all would hate to see you disappoint us, Niijima-kun. We all have high expectations for you, and we expect you to live up to them. I’m sure you would hate to disappoint your sister in that regard. If you have nothing else to share, I expect you can find your way out.”
Seriously? Of course I can find my way out of this pathetically tiny office—
Calm down, Makoto.
“Of course, sensei.”
Two steps is all it takes to exit his sad little office, and then I'm back in the halls of Shujin Academy. I used to be so proud of this school, and even prouder to be the student council president. But now I just feel… dirty. All I hear now when I roam the halls are the rumors and idle gossip.
The school totally knew the whole time, they encouraged it.
Phantom Thieves, what a joke, you can't really believe they exist?
Can you believe they let the pervert delinquent transfer here? Is he going to harass or attack me?
I bet Akechi is going to catch the Phantom Thieves—did you hear what he said about them on TV?
The student council knew the whole time, I heard the class president was even helping cover it up, too.
The Phantom Thieves should steal the principal’s heart next.
Who does that guy think they’re tricking by dressing up like that? We all know.
The Phantom Thieves are crooks, why haven't they caught them yet?
I heard the class president is sleeping with the principal, and that's the only reasons she got that position and has such good grades.
It never seems to stop now.
Has it always been like this? Was I just blind to it all before? Like I was blind to the crimes of Kamoshida. He was physically abusing the volleyball team, attacking students he didn't like, even sexually harassing some of the girls here, to the point that Suzui actually jumped off of the roof to try and take her own life. How stupid was I to have never noticed it before? How much else did I fail to see, too caught up in trying to be the perfect student? Why did I never question it before?
But what could I have done even if I had noticed it? Even now I feel too powerless to make a difference. Every time I try to bring up the very real problem of students getting targeted for blackmail and extortion, I'm just ignored. I'm told to do my job. Isn't my damn job to be looking out for the students? I need to calm down. But what good is going to come out of revealing the truth of the Phantom Thieves? As far as I can tell they've only made things better!
I know they’re not the problem, whoever they are.
If it really was Amamiya—her, Sakamoto and Takamaki—all they did was defend themselves when no one else would. They were just victims in all of this, too. And if they are the Phantom Thieves, they've done a remarkable job of hiding it. Every time I've trailed them, they just seem like normal students, doing normal things. Though it might be more accurate to say I kind of obsessively stalked them. But they’re the ones who best fit the profile! And that’s only gotten more and more true since the second case happened with Madarame. It's too much of coincidence that Madarame's pupil also became friends with Amamiya and her crew right when his heart was also “stolen.” There has to be a connection there. Ugh, but what?
I need to get out of here.
Thankfully it's a nice day outside when I finally exit the school. Most students have already left by this point, with just a few lingering to finish up club or sports activities. As I pass through the gates I hear loud laughter. I recognize that voice. I turn to see Amamiya and Sakamoto walking towards the station. Sakamoto looks very animated—it’s easy to hear his booming laugh, but I can't really make out what they’re saying. He looks happy to be talking to Amamiya. He's one of the few who actually treats her normally. I always thought Sakamoto was something of a punk up until now—it's hard not to notice his bright blonde bleached hair and the fact that he always wears some t-shirt that's just shy of violating the school's dress code—but a lot of that opinion was based on the “fact” that he was the one who attacked Kamoshida last year. And then we all found out that Kamoshida was the one who broke his leg to screw over the track team.
And now Sakamoto and Amamiya are friends. Sure, they’re still both outcasts, but when was the last time I had friends like that? I doubt they feel as alone as I do.
When did I start following them? Only now do I realize I've been trailing them again. Since you've developed the habit of stalking a certain delinquent, that’s when. It's not stalking, exactly. But if I'm already trailing them…
I pull a random manga from my bag and hide my face behind it, pretending to read. This should hopefully keep them from noticing me. With my clever disguise in place, I slip in on the train behind them.
I can’t believe I’m doing this. I shouldn't be stalking Amamiya like this. And in this part of Shinjuku, no less! I thought at first she was heading to Kabuchiko, but it looks like we’re in… Ni-chome? I suppose that tracks… Still, Sis would flip if she knew I was here. At least I'm here on a mission—why did Amamiya and Sakamoto come here? There's no reason for either of them to be in such a… sketchy place.
This is suspicious. I’ve gotta be on the right track.
Even so, I can’t help but sigh behind my manga disguise as I follow them at a discreet distance. I hate how much I've been doing this lately. This place feels… not sleazy, exactly, but it’s definitely a place where people are more open about sexuality than elsewhere in the city. These two can’t be up to any good out here, especially as evening falls and the bars and clubs start to open up. I take a quick glance over the top of the manga in front of my face and sure enough, they’ve stopped in front of a bar. Is Amamiya really so much of a delinquent that she would frequent a sleazy Shinjuku bar as an underage student?
Or is it ‘he’?
I hate that errant thought. Now I feel even more invasive. I shouldn't even know that about her, and the whole school definitely shouldn't have been told. But now that the secret is out it's one of the school’s favorite topics of gossip, of course. She's clearly trying to not look like a guy—she’s grown out her hair until it’s long and voluminous and she’s wearing a black skirt with a black sweater over a pink top. At a glance she looks like an average high school girl. But now the whole school treats her like some sort of freak.
All because of Kamoshida.
I hate this. Why all the cruelty? I've never really thought about this kind of thing before. I’ve never really had a reason to. But I don’t get why people would be cruel about it. Why? I want to understand it. I want to understand her. To help my investigation, of course.
Looking at the two of them just chatting in front of the bar, no one would know that about her. It just fits her. Her. Maybe she’s taking medicine or something to help—that has to be a thing, right? And probably some sort of surgery? Is that an invasive thing to wonder? I can’t imagine ever asking her about it directly.
Regardless, she’s quite pretty, not that that has anything to do with the investigation. Oh, I wonder if there’s something going on between the two of them. That would explain why they’ve come to Ni-chome together. Amamiya laughs at something Sakamoto says and turns her head.
Her eyes are so dark.
Wait, is she looking at me? Oh no, how long have I been staring? She is definitely looking right at me. I can't help but panic as I try to duck behind the manga as a shield between us. I can feel my face flush and I try to pivot naturally and move along with the rest of the people on the street.
She saw me staring. She made eye contact. I chance a quick glance back at where the two of them were standing. I see that Sakamoto is still by the door, now looking at his phone, and the door to the bar is swinging shut. Did Amamiya go inside without him?
Okay, so she saw me staring at them, but if she went inside then maybe she didn't recognize me. Or if she recognized me then maybe she didn’t think too much about it. Those are both valid considerations. Okay, Makoto, just calm down, you can do this. She has to come out at some point, right? She can’t just leave Sakamoto standing out there all ni—
“It’s Niijima-senpai, right?” a soft voice says from just behind me. I nearly jump out of my skin, my heart pounding wildly. I turn around to see who managed to sneak up on me like that and it's her, of course it's her. Ren Amamiya, the girl I've been following for legitimate reasons and not at all stalking for weeks, is standing there looking perfectly collected and infuriatingly pretty with the barest of a smirk on her lips. I’m suddenly overcome with a desperate need to reflect that coolness back.
“Oh, yes, what a coincidence that we should run into each other out here.” The squeak in my voice is utterly humiliating. Great, I failed, both at following unobtrusively and at projecting coolness. I lower the manga to my side since there’s no point in trying to hide anymore, but a part of me still misses it immediately.
“So, you’re out people-watching, then?” she follows up. “I have to say, I’m a bit flattered that the school president has taken such an interest in me all of a sudden.” It’s unfair how effortlessly she comes up with a witty retort. She’s such a smooth talker, but even so I can’t help but bristle under her accusation, even if it’s true. Have I really been so obvious?
“I don't know what you’re talking about. I've talked with many of the students. It’s my responsibility as student council president, after all.” I need to stay calm, even if my response does nothing to explain what I’m doing here. “And what are you doing out here, anyway? I just happened to be doing some book shopping in the area.”
Hopefully I can put her on the back foot by going on the offensive. I dimly recall passing by a small bookshop down the street on the way here. That gives me some plausible deniability, right? Good, let’s just keep this going. Those impossibly dark eyes dart down to the manga in my hand before looking back up at me.
“I could answer… but I hope it will stay just between us if I do?” she asks. Her response catches me off guard, and it must have shown on my face. She gives a small sigh before hesitantly continuing. “I work at the bar over there, Crossroads. The owner has been really kind and supportive since I first met her. She’s… y'know, like me. Trans.”
Trans. People have called her so many ugly names since learning about her… background, yet no one has ever called her that. Her glib, smooth confidence has been replaced by a wary uncertainty that I haven’t seen from her before in all of the times that I’ve overheard her talking with friends—might as well call it what it is, eavesdropping—or in the few words we've exchanged at school. It feels more raw and honest and for some reason it’s bringing up a lot of emotions that I’ll need to sort through later, but above all I just feel bad. This is her private life, and by following her I’ve intruded on her privacy. Even worse, I’m only doing it because Kobayakawa is blackmailing my future.
She must have seen something in my expression, because she gives me a rueful smile and says “Look, don't feel too bad about it. The whole school already knows, it's fine.” Though I can tell she doesn’t really mean the last part. Wait, am I really this easy to read?
I want to say something, but it takes way too long to find the right words. “That may be true, but it wasn’t any of our business. What Kamoshida did was terrible. It was a violation of your privacy.” It feels good to say something genuine, something that doesn't feel like a compromise between what I want and what all of the adults in charge seem to want from me. Her face softens a bit after I say it. That feels like a win.
“Thanks, Niijima-senpai. Buuuuut I’ve known for a while that you’ve been following us. I’ve noticed you every time. And I doubt you actually looked at that bookstore back there very closely, much less went inside. It’s quite… queer, you see. And I hate to break it to you, but even Ryuji noticed you this time.”
There’s a teasing smirk on her face, and God, I feel my face flush even hotter than before. My whole body feels like it’s on fire. This can’t be happening—I was being so discreet! I was hidden. Oh God, I want to disappear into a hole.
And she just keeps rubbing it in. “So, do you want to share what’s really going on here? Was our esteemed student council president picking up some queer literature, or did you want to ask me something?”
Oh God.
Collect yourself, Makoto, don't flounder. This is all going wrong. I need to say something plausible. “I… I’m just trying to keep an eye on our students. There have been… have been…” Girl, get it together already! I take a deep breath. “Recently, we’ve been getting reports that students have been targeted by people with connections to the mafia. They’ve been victims of blackmail and extortion and so on. And so the student council is concerned. I’m concerned.” I take another steadying breath, centering myself, and risk a quick glance at the place I last saw Sakamoto. He’s still browsing his phone, but looks over at Amamiya and I and gives us a thumbs up. “You’re both students, and I was especially worried when I saw you heading to this area. This neighborhood seems like a prime spot for the mafia to target.”
She regards me intently, and it takes all of my willpower to tamp down my embarrassment and keep from withering under the scrutiny. “You really have taken a liking to me, huh?” she says with a confident smirk on her lips. I swear I even see a glint in her eye.
Oh God, I can feel my willpower crumble and my face feels absolutely molten. I am mortified by how I must look. “I’ve heard about the mafia stuff,” she goes on as I try to compose myself, “but that doesn't explain why you followed me to Kichijoji yesterday, nor why we’ve seen you in Shibuya at least three times now.” No way, she can’t have seen me every time, can she? I’ll never admit it to her, but I am struggling. Too much has gone wrong in just the last five minutes. I wasn’t supposed to be seen. I must have taken too long to respond, because her face shifts to an expression I haven’t seen before. Is it regret?
“Look, I'm sorry if I took the teasing too far.” Teasing? “I may have, um, misread the situation. I’m sorry if I sort of implied some… things that made you uncomfortable. Especially since…” She trails off quietly at the end, and there’s a sort of lonely resignation in the silence that follows. I can’t help but sense that there’s some pain hiding there as well, and disappointment that we can't connect in the way she hoped we could.
There’s too much to sort through in this moment. Was she implying I was somehow like her… queer? Or that I was interested in her? No, she can't be. I mean, I was interested, but not like that. After all, we’re both girls… God, I feel like I am melting in my awkwardness. I need to focus on something else. And I need to say something to make that sad look on her face go away.
“NO!” I can’t help but say it a bit too loudly. She’s surprised, and so am I. What am I doing? “No, I'm just… really embarrassed.” I squeak out that last part, though that bit of honesty does seem to help refocus my thoughts. “I wasn’t supposed to get…” I trail off, I don't want to say—
“Caught?” she says, as if reading my mind. She isn’t smirking this time, but there is a playful spark in her eyes again. It looks so much better on her than that sad expression.
“Seen,” I counter. She smiles and I can feel the energy shift again. It’s more like a game now. “You just happen to frequent a lot of places.”
“I suppose I do happen to visit a lot of places around the city. After all, I’m new here. There’s a lot to do and explore in a place as big as Tokyo.” There’s a slight hint of amusement in her voice. “That said, I do have a place I need to be. My part-time shift at Crossroads starts soon. But don't worry, Madam President, I’m not even allowed to touch the alcohol on shift—you can ask my boss if you don’t believe me. I do still have a little bit of time before my shift starts, so if you want to come in with me I’ll treat you to a drink and you can ask what you want to ask.” The offer feels genuine. Maybe this is a good chance, but there is no way this is going to be that easy. “Though to be fair, I might ask a few questions back.” Ah. Right, I'm not the only one who probably has suspicions. Still, it’s a tempting offer.
I’d better answer before there’s too much of a delay. How would someone with her level of cool play this?
“I suppose I can take you up on that. You're lucky the school allows part-time work, you know. I would have to report you otherwise,” I say with a little smirk of my own. Okay, I think I’ve got this now. It’s even starting to feel a bit fun. “Either way, your secret is safe with me.” I can’t help but smile wider at that.
Amamiya nods and pulls out her phone. She dashes off a short text before stashing it away again and nods towards the bar, “Shall we?” She sets off towards the door and I follow a step behind.
It’s a small place, easy to miss on the strip of stores with bright neon lights. The name, Crossroads, is above the door. I realize Sakamoto is gone—maybe that was who she texted? I follow her through the door. The bar is low lit and quite gaudy, with a bright neon sign hanging above the bottles on the shelves behind the bar that says ‘Welcome Love.’ Right, this is a bar, with alcohol. I haven’t been to many bars before.
“Don't worry, I’m not giving you booze. We have non-alcoholic drinks.” God, was my trepidation that obvious?
“Who do we have here?” a new voice calls out. I turn to see a large lady in a kimono walk down the counter towards us. “I can’t serve minors, you know that, Amamiya-chan.” She has a low, feminine voice and talks in a sing-songy sort of way. This must be the boss Amamiya mentioned. She matches this bar’s vibe perfectly.
“This is Niijima-senpai. She’s a classmate of mine and was just walking me here. I offered her a drink as thanks. Senpai, this is my boss, Lala Escargot-san,” Amamiya replies. She seems at ease, which is very much the opposite of how I feel.
“Oh please, just call me Lala,” she says with a wink. She hums thoughtfully before turning to Amamiya and adding “Well, I suppose you’re a bit early. Just make sure she’s out before we open. Have fun.” She winks again before turning back to disappear through a door behind the bar. Amamiya leads me to a side booth.
“What would you like? I’m afraid we don't have any hot tea or coffee yet since we technically haven’t opened, but I can get you cold bottled tea, soda or water.”
“Oh, I’ll just have a coke, then. Thank you.” She sets her bag on the seat opposite from me and goes behind the counter to get our drinks. I sit down at the booth and start to collect my thoughts. What am I going to ask her? I don’t want to give away too much in case she actually is involved with the Phantom Thieves. If she really is, does she suspect that I might be following her for that reason?
“Here’s your coke.” She sets down a pair of tall glasses filled with fizzing soda and clinking ice, and a lemon slice wedged on the top. The presentation feels mature in a way I wasn't expecting. She sits down and squeezes the lemon juice into her drink before putting the lemon slice on a plate she must have brought for that purpose. When she takes a sip I take the opportunity to copy her, adding the lemon to my drink and setting the slice on the plate. She takes the time to finish her sip and return the glass to the table before meeting my gaze and saying “So, ask away.”
“Right.” I take a sip of my coke to give myself another moment to think. “Oh, that’s nice with the lemon.” I set my drink down. She has a amused look on her face. Give me a break, I’ve never tried coke with lemon before. “Can I ask what your relationship with Sakamoto-san is?” Let's start with something safe.
Amamiya laughs. “Well… Ryuji and I aren’t dating, if that’s what you were thinking.” I’m caught a bit off guard by how bluntly she says it. “I’m single and not really interested in guys like that.”
Guys? Now that really catches me off guard, and I splutter and cough as some coke goes down the wrong way. “That’s not what I meant!” Crap, that was definitely too defensive. She has to be trying to rile me up on purpose. “I meant how did you two get acquainted? You’re new to the school and Sakamoto-san, is… well, a bit of pariah ever since Kamoshida-sensei kicked him off the track team. And you two don't share any classes.”
“You really did your homework on us, didn’t you?” she says, still looking faintly amused. She hums, pondering for a bit. “Well, we ran into each other on my first day at Shujin. We… got a bit turned around and ended up being late. We kept in touch, and I guess we grew even closer when Kamoshida-sensei threatened us both with expulsion, like he said that day he confessed. We were there for each other during a tough time, but more than that we just clicked and now he’s a good friend. I’m glad I met him before Kamoshida outed me to the whole school, too.” There is a bit of bitterness in her voice, but she continues in a softer tone. “He didn’t treat me any differently after the whole trans thing became public. I'm really lucky to have him as a friend.”
He didn’t treat her like a pervert, she means. I can’t believe Kobayakawa called her that. And I feel even worse now for prying into her relationship with Ryuji when he seems like one of the only supportive people in her life.
Her story does make sense. I had suspected they got involved with another because of Kamoshida, but I didn't know they met before all of that. I wasn’t expecting any of this. Have I really just been making assumptions based on my own biases, ignoring the simple and obvious explanation that they became friends because of what they went through together? Sakamoto still feels like a punk to me, but am I being fair? How much of that was just a result of Kamoshida breaking his leg, taking away his spot on the track team and making him into an outcast. I still remember how shocked I was when Kamoshida burst on the stage and spilled his guts to everyone during the assembly. It called a lot of what I thought I knew into question.
Amamiya gets a mischievous gleam in her eye and says, “Honestly, though, I’m not sure Ryuji actually knows, or at least he doesn’t fully get it. Which is kinda funny. Like, I know he’s heard the rumors and stuff, since some people are pretty blatant about it to my face, but he just tells them to 'eff off.' Maybe he does know, but based on a few things he’s said I suspect he doesn’t entirely understand what it means. Either way, he probably thinks everyone is being stupid.” That’s because they are being stupid, and maybe Sakamoto is the only one who has it right.
She chuckles at that, and I can’t help but laugh along with her. It would be pretty funny if Sakamoto didn’t actually know, and lucky, I suppose. I'm glad at least one person is treating her right. I feel a bit more relaxed now, so I venture another question. “Can I ask something else about that? I know it’s a delicate topic, but to my knowledge you are the first… trans student at Shujin, and the fact that you have a criminal record… well, nothing has seemed to go your way since coming to Shujin, to put it lightly.”
“I don’t mind talking about it. I wasn’t even really trying to hide it. I just would have liked to tell people myself, without the criminal record stuff attached.” Interesting, she doesn’t deny the criminal record. Maybe I can come back to it later. “I was hoping a new school would give me a fresh start socially, but you can see how well that turned out.” I can’t help but sympathize with that.
“Okay, so why? Um, I mean it’s not that common of a thing to… change gender… and it doesn’t sound easy to do. How did you even know?” Makoto, what the hell? This isn’t what I meant to ask, but once I start I can’t stop talking. “I haven’t really even heard or seen much about it outside of…”
“Gags?” she finishes for me. I try to nod and take a sip of my drink. “Well yeah, it’s not really that common, but it happens more often than people think. And it’s not an easy thing to do, so most people don’t, or aren't open about it. As for me…” She hums a bit as she thinks it over, eying her glass before looking at me again. “I don’t know if I had an ‘ah ha’ moment, but I always felt like something was off, and once I figured out what it was I reached a point where I just wanted to be myself. I have been me for a few years, and while I have no regrets, you’re right that it hasn’t been easy. For lots of reasons.”
I shouldn’t have asked, and I definitely shouldn’t have been so blunt about it. I’m upset with myself, but at least she doesn’t seem upset.
“Mind if I ask you a question now?” she follows up. Please, while I take my foot out of my mouth. I nod. “Is this like a dirt hunt? I don’t need to be worried that someone else is trying to get me expelled again, right? Not you or some other teacher with some bone to pick with me.”
That was blunt, but I can't fault her for asking it. I hate this. She shouldn’t be worried about any of this and she's not entirely wrong.
“I suppose… that’s how this could look. I'm sorry it's like this. But no. I’m not trying to get you expelled in some roundabout way, and as far as I know none of the teachers or other school staff have you in their sights in that way. I’m still just a student.” I hope I can ease her mind about this, even if I still have my suspicions. She relaxes in her seat, which is hopefully a sign that I'm succeeding.
Feeling a little mischievous and wanting to deflect the conversation away from my own awkwardness, I add, “And from what I’ve noticed in the few times we’ve seemed to cross paths unintentionally, I don't think there would be anything for me to report.”
Wait, did I just hear a meow—
“Not even that we were on a very scandalous street in Ni-chome with all of these gay and queer people, not to mention in a bar?” She smirks. It’s kind of unfair how charming it is.
Ugh, why am I blushing again? “I don’t think it would be fair to… persecute you for that, or even mention it to anyone at all. You’re just being yourself, and what you do on your own time is your own business. You haven't done anything wrong, to the best of my knowledge, anyway.” We share a smile.
She hums into her drink. “Okay. Another question, then. Are you?”
“Am I what?” Did I miss something? My brain is whirling away.
“Queer,” she says plainly.
Queer.
Queer.
She is asking if you are gay, Makoto. What. WHAT. Why? I know she insinuated something earlier, but wait, why is she asking me that? Do I seem gay? I did follow her here, but I had no idea she was heading to this neighborhood. It’s hot, God, I feel that heat come creeping back up my neck. I need to compose myself. Again.
Why am I so flustered by this question?
“Ah, um, a lot of this is… very new to me.” She nods, more to prompt me to keep talking than to acknowledge my non-answer. “I-I haven’t ever really thought about it!” It’s an honest answer, but she still arches an eyebrow at me. This scrutiny is too much. “Can I ask you about your criminal record?” The question is jarringly abrupt and out of nowhere, but I have to take control of the conversation again. “You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to.” God, why do I keep losing my composure around her?
Amamiya seems a bit surprised, but collects herself quickly. She spins the ice in her drink as she thinks it over with a sigh. “On paper, I assaulted an adult.” She takes a drink and watches me, measuring my reaction, then decides to continue. “I was coming home one night and saw this guy trying to force a woman into a car. No one was around and I had to help. I could tell he was drunk and the woman was trying to get away. I honestly didn't even do very much—I think all I did was touch the guy’s shoulder, but then he stumbled and hit the ground. He called the police and said I attacked him." She sighs. "And the woman collaborated his story. When the lawsuit happened, my trans stuff came out as well… and that seemed to make everything worse. Eventually I got sent here after getting expelled from my last school because of it all.” She finishes with a sigh, like she has told this story one too many times and is already exhausted by it. Tired but still bitter. “So go ahead and believe what you will, I guess. The official record is that I assaulted a guy.”
“I don’t think you’re lying,” I respond automatically. After saying it I realize I really believe it. The whole situation stokes a boiling anger somewhere deep inside of me. It's profoundly unfair. I don’t like it. Actually, I hate it. But what can I do? The more I get into this, the more I hate this whole situation Kobayakawa has forced me into. And for what? So his reputation is safe. Amamiya is facing all of this persecution while Kobayakawa’s biggest problem is that there are some rumors about magic thieves stealing people’s hearts? It’s bullshit. “I’m so sorry. I’m sure my following you around hasn’t helped, either.”
She’s quiet for a beat before she says “It’s not your fault, and aside from you stalking us a few times you’ve been pretty cool about it, all things considered.” She laughs, and now that I’m getting a better feel for whatever this game is between us, I try not to get defensive and laugh with her. It’s quiet again for a moment, and then she says “Thank you, Niijima-senpai.” She turns her gaze away. “Most people hear the official version of the story beforehand and have already made up their minds.” A faint blush dusts her cheeks. Cute. “I appreciate it.” She takes another drink.
Silence seeps in for a few seconds, but thankfully it’s a comfortable one. “Have you heard or seen anything about the students getting targeted? You didn’t really seem that surprised when I mentioned it before.”
“Kind of?” she answers, looking thoughtful. “I haven’t seen it happen personally, but I’ve heard it's mostly happening in Shibuya. There’s not much more I can tell you. It hasn’t happened to us.”
She’s hard to read, but it sounds like she actually knows more than she is letting on. “Who did you hear it from?” I follow up.
“Do you remember Mishima-san? He was also peripherally involved in the Kamoshida stuff, and Kamoshida made him leak my info online.” I vaguely knew Mishima was connected, but I didn’t realize Kamoshida made him do that. “Oh, don't think too badly of him. He’s doing his best to to make up for it, in his way. Anyway, I guess because of that he made a site for Phantom Thieves fans that he calls the… uh… Phan-Site.” It looks like saying that out loud was painful for her. “He’s pretty into them after everything that happened, and he wants the site to be a place for people to… I don’t know, I guess vent or post about things that are troubling them. I think he wants it to be a place for people to ask for help from the Phantom Thieves or something.” She shrugs as if not really convinced it will succeed. “He likes to talk about it a lot and keeps me in the loop about what people post, I guess. I think he still feels bad about outing me and what happened with Suzui. The other day he showed me a board that was LGBTQ-focused. It even had a rainbow flag and everything, kinda cute. You might be able to ask him more about the mafia thing. Some folks were talking about it on the site, he said.”
“A fan site for the Phantom Thieves?” I hadn’t even asked about them yet and they’ve already cropped up in the conversation. Could my theory actually be right?
Amamiya looks embarrassed. “Yeah, he’s trying to do something good, and honestly I don’t think it’s the worst idea. It sounds like the site is pretty active, at least from what he says, so I guess people are getting something out of it?” She grimaces. “I told him not to call it the Phan—ugh, I don’t even want to say it, but well…” She waves her hand as if to disavow any involvement with the name. I thought it was kind of funny.
“Thanks, maybe I’ll look into it,” I reply, mulling it over. I know the Phantom Thieves have been a popular topic online, especially after what happened with Madarame, but I didn't realize that Mishima was behind a whole site. I expect she brought this up to divert my attention away from her past, but it’s not a bad thing to look into. And more evidence about the mafia activity might force Principal Kobayakawa to take the matter more seriously. Mishima was a blind spot for me in this whole Phantom Thieves investigation, so I’m glad she mentioned him. Why would she tell me about all of this if she’s involved with the Phantom Thieves, though? Is this a red herring?
“What do you think of them, by the way? The Phantom Thieves.” Now it feels like she’s the one trying to suss out some information from me.
“I haven’t really made up my mind about them, I suppose. It's hard to take something seriously when it’s so… fantastic.” I take a sip of my drink. “No one really knows or understands how they could have done it, right? Stealing hearts, like they claim. The only evidence so far is that they’ve left a calling card, and now there are two victims. There seems to be no direct connection between the first target and the second one, other than the fact that they both had their own hidden crimes that they confessed to.” I need to be very careful with how much I say. I can’t reveal too much this early or I could lose this opportunity with her. “What about you? What do you make of them?”
She ponders for a bit, her gaze drifting to her half-full glass. “It's weird, I suppose. I’m in a position where it benefited me. It’s not something I would have asked for myself, but I’m glad that it happened. For Suzui-san’s sake, and for Ann’s. And everyone else who was living under Kamoshida’s threats. Suzui-san almost... died. I didn’t really know her but that’s still so horrible. Ann has been visiting her frequently since she woke up, and it sounds like she’s getting better but—yeah. I don’t know. I feel too close to everything if that makes sense. I guess the only thing I can really say is that Kamoshida really did have a complete change of heart. I saw how cruel he could be first hand. He was completely different when we confronted him compared to when he broke down in front of the school.”
“You confronted him?” That’s new.
“Yeah. It was mostly Ryuji. The whole situation really got to him and I wasn't going to let him go alone. He wanted to do something about it so we barged into his office and then Kamoshida tried to egg Ryuji into hitting him again. But Ryuji stayed level-headed. Kamoshida told us that he was going to get us expelled at the next school board meeting and laughed us out.” I’m surprised by how much she’s offering. There really was a lot going on behind the scenes that I don't think anyone was aware of. She’s trusting me. “I had already run into Ann—um, Takamaki-san—a few days earlier, and she confided what had been going on between her and Kamoshida. I had sort of been in the wrong place at the right time, I guess.” She’s very somber while recounting this story. I wouldn't have expected her to be so forthcoming about this. She always seemed very aloof before, but she’s shown me quite a bit of sincerity today. “Still, I’m curious what you think as someone more removed from the situation than I am. If the Phantom Thieves really did steal his heart, do you think it was wrong? Now that you know everything Kamoshida was doing?”
Kamoshida deserved what he got. But was this the right way to do it? How else would it even have happened? “What does stealing his heart even mean?” She offers me a slight shrug in return. “Kamoshida did a lot of unforgivable things and should be held accountable for his crimes and abuse. I'm glad he confessed. But if this is just vigilante justice—if we believe that his heart was really stolen—can we trust that? We don't know the Phantom Thieves’ motives or goals. Why are they doing this? They aren’t accountable to anyone and their actions might seem just in this case, but that may not always be the case. And one day they might go too far.”
“Do you think Kamoshida would have been stopped otherwise?” she asks.
Kobayakawa wasn’t going to do anything about it, I know that much.
That thought becomes a heavy stone in my stomach. I wish I could naively say yes. But I have seen firsthand how Principal Kobayakawa is more worried about the school's reputation than the students’ well being. “I don’t know.”
Amamiya blows out a breath before leaning back. “Yeah, I doubt it too.” She lets the silence sit for a bit, and I just feel frustrated by the whole situation. How little I did about it, or could have done. How little I can still do. My future being treated like a carrot on a fu—Calm down, Makoto.
I let out a long breath.
We should be able to make things work they way they’re supposed to, make them better. “If you could do it, what would you do?” Amamiya asks, ever so casually. It’s so tantalizing… isn’t it? Could I trust my judgment, though? Can I trust her? But I wish so badly that I could have done something. Anything.
“I… hope I could use that power… responsibly. If it's possible. I…. if I had the power to help someone and I didn’t, that would be worse.” She smiles after I say that. It feels good to share this with her. I feel lighter. I want to give her a chance if she really is part of the Phantom Thieves. I want to give her a chance to prove to me that she would help people, that she wouldn't abuse the power. I already know too many people who would. Maybe this is selfish, but perhaps they could stop this whole situation with the Mafia targeting students.
And then what? Would I just not tell Kobayakawa about it? If I learn the Phantom Thieves really exist, and they’re the good guys? And good girls, I guess. If they are really trying to help people? Yes, someone has to do something. Amamiya is still smiling at me, like this was a test and I gave the right answer. She looks relaxed and content in her seat, and I can’t help but feel relaxed, too.
Fuck Kobayakawa.
The thought startles me with how quickly it surfaces. It feels almost scandalous, but… I can’t deny that it also feels right. He can shove his fucking letter. I will make this work without him blackmailing me.
“Amamiya-chan, you’ve got about seven minutes before we open,” Lala shouts from behind the bar, disrupting the mood between the two of us. Amamiya is already starting to clear the table as she swings her bag back onto her shoulder. I swear I hear a meow again, but I can't see a cat and she doesn’t say anything.
“Are you good to head out on your own?” Amamiya asks, pausing with both glasses and the plate in her hands.
That’s kind of sweet of her. “I should be fine. Make sure you stay safe, too. We…we should talk more later.” She nods and smiles before heading to get ready for her shift. I collect myself and give polite thanks to Lala for allowing me to stay, and moments later I’m standing back on the street.
I look around and notice all of the details that I missed earlier, with my single-minded focus on following Amamiya. The brightly-lit bars and restaurants with rainbow flags in the windows playing disco music. The people on the street dressed far more flamboyantly than the usual conservative Tokyo style. The number of same-sex pairs walking by, pausing at shop windows. How did I not see this before?
I spy the bookstore I passed by earlier. I wonder if they have something I could read to learn more about trans stuff. She did say it was a queer bookstore, right? There is obviously a lot more I could learn, and for Ren Amamiya, I realize I want to make the effort.
Fuck Kobayakawa.
I can’t stop the smile that slowly blooms on my face as I open the door and step inside the shop. Forget what everyone thinks I’m supposed to do. Let’s do something actually useful instead.