Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Under the cover of the night, the children had a hard time sleeping due to the prophecy, even Mia, who tried to deny it. Shin Yoosung asked Kim Dokja to tell them a story. 

He narrated it.

There was this place called Crete. Crete’s King, Minos, made a deal with Poseidon, the God of the Ocean. The King promised to sacrifice his best bull to earn wealth—but when the date arrived, he did not keep his word.

Angry at the king, Poseidon cursed the island, causing the King's wife to fall in love with the bull and bear a child with it: the Minotaur. When it was born, it destroyed everything in its path.

The King, embarrassed, wanted to hide the beast so other rulers would not know about his disgrace. He decided to imprison the Minotaur in a labyrinth where you can only enter, but never exit. Daedalus was the one who built the maze, the king's craftsman.

Every year, they had to sacrifice seven men and seven women to it.

Then, years later, comes a hero. Theseus. He offered himself as a sacrifice to the Minotaur because he knew he could kill the beast, but he didn't know how to exit the labyrinth.

‘There is no reason to linger in a maze once the beast is killed,’ Joonghyuk thought.

The hero knew the King's daughter, Princess Ariadne.

She asked Daedalus how to exit the endless maze. The craftsman said that there is no way to go out. The only way would be to tie a string around the person's body and, after killing the beast, to pull it back so Theseus would return through the entrance.

“Is this story about Theseus?” Lee Gilyoung asked.

“No.” Kim Dokja shook his head. “It’s about Icarus.”

“Who is Icarus?” Yoo Mia asked.

“Don’t worry, he will arrive soon.”

While they interrupted the narrator, Yoo Joonghyuk took the opportunity to look at the man. It was hard to see Kim Dokja’s face. It was blurred. Joonghyuk could not even remember it. But those eyes… For some reason, he could see and remember Kim Dokja’s eyes.

The regressor closed his eyes and focused on the warmth of the fire. ‘Should I…?’

Joonghyuk dared to stare at Kim Dokja’s eyes.

There was this danger prickling his skin whenever he made contact with the eyes of Kim Dokja. It was a strange pull. Far stronger than the tides of an ocean, far closer to the tides of the starry sky. Kim Dokja’s eyes were the event horizon, the point of no return. Yoo Joonghyuk feared staring at them for long and not realising until it was too late. What if he crossed the horizon? Perhaps… he already did.

The regressor woke up from his daydreaming when the reader returned to his storytelling.

When King Minos discovered what Daedalus had done, he was enraged and sent the man and his son to the labyrinth. So, when Icarus was five years old, the only things he knew were the birds, the skies, the sun, and the night. He envied the birds because they could be close to this illuminated divine warmth, this cosmic being that is the Sun.

One day, Daedalus was watching his son staring at the birds and had an idea: what if he took some beewax from the bees in the labyrinth and made bird-like wings to exit that place? But Icarus' wish was never to go out of the maze. It was to meet the sun, even if it hurts, even if there is a sacrifice— because that's what he yearned for. 

Daedalus made the wings, and they escaped the maze. The man warned his son not to go too close to the sun, otherwise his wings’ wax would melt. He didn't care; he flew close to the sun, his wings melted, he fell, then died.

No one commented. Only the campfire could be heard.

They were all surprised at the story Kim Dokja told them.

“Isn’t this story super shitty? Icarus is so dumb!” Lee Gilyoung protested with clear annoyance in his voice.

“That’s true.”

“Oppa is much better!”

Shin Yoosung and Yoo Mia agreed.

Kim Dokja laughed at them. “Why do you say that?”

“Dokja-ssi, the boy died out of stubbornness!” Lee Hyunsung exclaimed.

“That’s true, it was such an unnecessary death.” Heewon agreed.

“I could understand if it was about Theseus, even if he is not as good as my Oppa, but why that stupid guy?” Mia scoffed.

“I think Icarus was happy while dying.” Kim Dokja dropped the bomb.

Absolute silence.

“Dokja-ssi, what do you mean by that?” Sangah’s tone betrayed her worry.

“Dokja-ssi, do remember that medicine has its limits…” Lee Seolhwa’s tone was slightly threatening as she understood what Yoo Sangah meant, and there was no possibility she would ever give up on a patient.

“Joonghyuk, put some goddamm sense into that rat’s head.” Han Sooyoung said.

He looked at her, “Why me?” The man moved his gaze towards their storyteller. “But why do you think he was happy?”

“Yoo Joonghyuk, what was Icarus’ wish?” 

“To exit the labyrinth and see the outside world?”

“No. That was his father’s wish.” Kim Dokja shook his head. “I think this story is beautiful, but, unfortunately, many just ignore the main point. One indeed must find equilibrium while pursuing their goals. One should listen to others’ opinions, but…” He smirked, “Icarus was not wrong. His wish was to meet the Sun, even if it hurts, even if he died.” The reader took a breath, “He died living his own life instead of living by others; instead of living in the labyrinth created by his own father. Icarus died pursuing his dream. I think that’s a worthwhile death.” Dokja finished with a gentle smile.

In that serene night with the cold breeze caressing their skin, everyone was silent: they were thoughtful.

“There was this poet, François Rabelais, whose last words were: ‘I go seek a Great Perhaps.’ Icarus didn’t wait for the day of his death to seek his Great Perhaps. After all… perhaps there is something incredible just around the corner.”

“But he still died!” Lee Gilyoung complained.

“But he died happy.” Kim Dokja messed with his hair.

“Ahjussi, are you seeking your Great Perhaps?” Shin Yoosung asked.

“Yes, I think I am.”

“Are you going to die, Hyung?” The boy asked while hugging the man. Yoosung hugged Dokja as well.

“Don’t worry, Gilyoung. I don’t even have a modifier, how can I meet my goals this way?”

“Did you become a constellation because you need to?” Han Sooyoung raised an eyebrow.

“Indeed.” Kim Dokja smirked. “I need to be a constellation to get the ending I want.”

His mind travelled back from that damned night before the tenth scenario. Yoo Joonghyuk had a nagging curiosity impelling him to ask what ending he wanted that badly, but he didn’t. ‘What were you pursuing, Kim Dokja? What ending did you want?’ It’s been a long time since he felt this way. Or rather… has he ever felt… like this? So… broken?

The regressor never needed someone else.

Splinters fell from his reddened knuckles as he took a breath. It was a bit painful, but it meant he was alive. 

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

The whatever-colored walls of that place were cracking again.

The regressor punched them like they held the answers to his questions and the names to emotions long forgotten.

I wish I knew everything about you. I still want to know every little thing about you.

That unwavering wish took root in his heart with a vice-like grip, and yet the soil was too poor. It screamed in his mind as if not accepting being ignored. ‘It’s useless. He… He..’ 

No water nor light. 

His light.

Joonghyuk exhaled slowly, as if the air itself resisted him.

He turned around and walked somewhere else in the cold room.

Would things have changed if I had done anything differently?

“It was a really good story,” he panted, “isn’t that right?”

‘No! It was completely trash!’ Joonghyuk screamed inwardly.

[The constellation ‘???’ says sad stories have their places too.]

No, they don’t! I don’t need sad stories. I have had enough of those. I don’t want him to be a miserable story!

He opened his eyes as he felt his hands getting wet. They were already swollen and only got worse as tears that he was not even aware of poured out. Tears soaked his hands, knuckles split from gripping too hard. Blood mixed with salt, dripping from his lips.

‘Weakness…’ Such a dangerous word.

In his previous regressions, Yoo Joonghyuk never thought he had a flaw—much less such a fatal one. Not to mention this paralysing sentiment creeping around his heart.

When had he ever feared?

He opened his eyes and tried to focus on the room. It was dark, with an old air, the wooden texture in his hands. 

Breathe in.

Hold.

Breathe out.

Rinse. Repeat.

His chest still wouldn’t rise properly. His lungs rejected the air in the room.

Breathe in.

Hold.

Breathe out.

His lungs still refused.

The sound of crackling wood echoed in the deafening silence of that room. Was it a chair? Or was he standing? The protagonist didn’t know.

Yoo Joonghyuk had lost companions before. It was nothing new. He promised to stay here, and he will. But for what reason?

Should he try regressing? Just reset, go back, make it better than before. That’s how it usually works.

Both thoughts slipped through his fingers like moonlight.

Is this fear?

He was at a crossroads but couldn't pick a single route to take.

All roads were closed to him. 

The regressor heard the rain pouring outside. How long has it been since he was in this place? 

His hands held his face, knuckles splitting under the grip.

No other emotions lived in his heart. For the umpteenth time, the regressor’s hands got wet.

No one would see him this low, a small mercy.

Yoo Joonghyuk remembered the bridge. Would things be different if he had acted differently? If he waited, if he protected him?

It didn’t matter.

Not anymore.

Did he ever realise he was my most cherished companion?

For some reason, the possibility of Kim Dokja being expelled from the scenario without knowing how Joonghyuk cherished their companionship felt slightly worse than death. If not for the apocalypse, he wanted to lie on the horn to prove that it haunts him.

His eyes didn’t capture anything in that place, as if he were in a white room. The regressor walked aimlessly until he felt his back against a bad, uncomfortable mattress.

No.

Yoo Joonghyuk should be happy.

The anomaly known as “Kim Dokja” had so sneakily made its way into the regressor’s heart that the barriers he spent decades building might as well not exist.

Kim Dokja was a star, hanging up in the darkest skies. His light did not tear down walls nor shatter defences. 

It danced close to one’s doors and windows. Kim Dokja walked straight, soft-footed. In his own twisted way, gentle and warm like home in spring.

Kim Dokja’s light was like a lazy Sunday at home. It was so unassuming and thoroughly disarming that Yoo Joonghyuk forgot he had walls at all. By the time he realised, it was too late; he had already been breached.

Yoo Joonghyuk found this tenderness so alien compared to the bloody sea of his regressions—something his calloused hands did not deserve.

Joonghyuk blinked, and Dokja was already sleeping soundly on his bed. It left him wondering if he had walls at all, and, if he did, what did those walls even serve for?

The worst part? Joonghyuk could not bring himself to remove the man from the bed; he wanted to tuck Dokja in so the smaller man would be comfortable in his stay.

‘He may decide to stay longer if it were cosy.’ And that thought terrified him. ‘It is unbearable because I cannot protect it.’

Kim Dokja had this serene way of making you care about him and demand your attention. It was so silent that you would only realise it when his light was no longer there to keep you warm. Everything you were left with was too dark and too cold to even compare to that damned reader.

My walls could never stop him.

He took a deep breath as his grip tightened around the… chair? Or was it a table? Wasn’t he in a bed? He did not know.

Would it not be infinitely better if such an existence were no longer next to him? Yoo Joonghyuk had yet to discover what his sponsor wanted from him. Why did he regress? Why did the constellation give him such power just to disappear? Kim Dokja somehow became a weakness of his, giving him his only fear in such an overwhelming way that everything else became nothingness.

Joonghyuk took a deep breath as his hands messed his hair.

‘I am a useless weakling.’ He realised.

The protagonist shivered in that cold room, rubbing his hands for a warmth that was not there—as if his body refused it.

He never felt like this in his other turns.

There was no such despair, but also there was never such hope.

For some reason, Yoo Joonghyuk knew that only Kim Dokja could ever do this to him. Wouldn’t it be better if Kim Dokja were no more? Not in this turn and in any other?

The pro gamer looked at some ragged clothes Dokja used before changing into new ones. He found them in the camp. Now they lie on the floor. He picked them up and hugged them as if they were their owner.

“They smell just like you,” he whispered as if Kim Dokja could hear him. Maybe he could. The bastard always returned, right?

It would be better to accept the inevitable and give up.

It was likely the most rational answer, but—as anything that involved Kim Dokja—Yoo Joonghyuk was everything but logical. Kim Dokja always managed to bring emotions out of him that the man forgot he had.

“Stupid bastard,” he muttered with salty, wet lips. The man broke down with his head in his hands. “I would rather be the weakest and most cowardly man in the world if only I could have you here.”

The fading scent in Kim Dokja’s clothes grounded him as the regressor took a deep breath as he pressed them against his chest. It was a whisper of warmth in an otherwise too-cold world. Tears stung his eyes, carrying confessions he did not have words for. 

And it was cold—cold in a way no walls, no tears, no wishes could warm.

Without Dokja, even survival felt like an unnecessary habit.

In the depths of his marred, broken heart, Yoo Joonghyuk could see a younger version of himself. Was he sixteen? Was he nineteen? The man had no idea; he could not remember himself back then anymore. 

His younger self held a not-much-alive man’s body in his arms. That Kim Dokja was limp—no grins, no smirks, no teasings. The skin was completely grey. And yet, that same man still haunted him, be it his younger or his present self.

“What if this turn was the exception? What if you never again find the right combinations of factors to have me step off that subway car alive?”

The infinitesimal chance of that bastard being somehow alive in this turn burned in a hope far stronger than the cold misery of never meeting Kim Dokja again. 

Joonghyuk trembled.

As if his earlier tears had tended the soil, from the roots of that stupid wish, cherry blossoms grew. Pink petals fell on his younger self and the body he held.

The air was suddenly cleaner, easy to breathe.

Young Joonghyuk hugged Kim Dokja’s head close to his heart. It was a strong yet delicate embrace—as if the teen plucked the most beautiful and brightest star from the heavens. As if he stole something too precious from the universe and kept it secret, afraid they would want it back.

“Where do you go inside your dreams?” His youthful voice trembled from that quivering kid. “What do you say when you don’t speak?” His yet-to-be-scarred hands caressed Kim Dokja’s face affectionately. Each question felt like a prayer to the heavens, hoping that a miracle would happen and the body in his arms would suddenly respond. “Where do you go when you are lonely?”

The hands in the body’s beautiful face trembled, and his voice broke midway. Grief burned down his face along with something he could not quite pinpoint. “What do you say deep in your sleep?” Young Joonghyuk rested on the curve of Dokja’s neck, but the coldness from the other man’s skin just made him sob harder.

“On the day that you were born, the heavens got together and decided to create a dream come true.” Young Joonghyuk’s words sounded more like a confession. 

He hugged Dokja tighter.

“You know? I could spend forever getting lost in your maze,” Joonghyuk’s youthful voice echoed in his own dying heartbeat. It sounded like a confession born from a mix of grief and many other feelings he cannot identify yet. “Like I already know the way out, but I just want to stay.” His younger self seemed to feel exactly what his present self felt. 

If we were in Icarus’ story, would Theseus stay?

“Do you run when love cuts deep?” It was a question that hit Yoo Joonghyuk stronger than he would ever admit.

Love?

Unaware of everything else, his younger self kept asking questions to the man with skin that would not warm. The young man begged for an answer. Young Joonghyuk clung to Dokja’s body, sobbing and shaking it. Perhaps, if he did all of that loud enough, the withering man would take pity on him, return, and say it was all a bad joke. 

Suddenly, Kim Dokja’s expiring body glowed, then shrank. ‘Was this his younger self? To match my own? Why is he so small? I’m sure that version of me is no less than sixteen. Ma—’ His thoughts were abruptly interrupted when another version of Dokja appeared—an adult one.

Before Yoo Joonghyuk blinked, he was already on his knees, cradling the corp— the dea— the reader’s not-breathing body in his arms with a gentleness he did not even know lived in him. Yoo Joonghyuk wept along with his younger self as they both held versions of Kim Dokja in their arms. Adult Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand cupped the other’s face as his thumb affectionately caressed the man’s grey cheek.

“Do you see how much I need you right now?” The regressor whispered as his throat closed again. His voice was weak, broken. For such a powerful incarnation, he had to make an insurmountable amount of force just to speak those words. They weighed on his tongue, but were no heavier than the man on his arms.

Another consequence of the anomaly known as Kim Dokja.

“Could you at least stop haunting me?” His heart hurt, and his body was weak. “The days feel like years without you here.” His choked voice confessed as Joonghyuk fixed the bangs falling on Dokja’s face.

“But…” He took a deep breath, trying to recompose himself just to fail miserably. “If you could… if you want… could you appear alive in front of me? Just be alive, okay?” His face was buried on the curve of Dokja’s neck.

“Damn it! Do you see how much I need you right now?” He cursed more to himself than to Kim Dokja.

Needing him hadn’t saved Kim Dokja.

He would burn the entire universe for a miserable chance of meeting Kim Dokja again. Nothing that happened during the apocalypse ever had such overwhelming weight on his life. Joonghyuk never felt so… so… so…

so…?

He didn’t know. This was the first time winning didn’t matter.

Where does it come from?

If it were before the apocalypse, maybe one could try asking god. Even back then, he knew that there were only two things to know concerning gods: they either don’t exist or they don’t care. And both are terrifying prospects.

But now, after meeting gods, Yoo Joonghyuk knew better. 

‘Maybe my sponsor could do it.’ Even if it was not a resurrection, allowing Kim Dokja to regress with him should be possible, right? Someone powerful enough to manipulate time in a way even constellations and outer gods cannot notice… ‘???’ is certainly powerful. The incarnation had so many questions, so many pleas, but he was utterly by himself.

Joonghyuk instinctively compared this turn to the previous ones, and, somehow, with the ones he had yet to have.

In every single one of them, he was alone. Though he was tall and muscular, how broad must one’s shoulders be to carry the weight of the universe on them? Even if he amassed insurmountable strength in his regressions thanks to Transmission… could he ever find a way to put an end to it?

Why am I regressing to begin with?

In this one… he had a nice group. Despite living through the end of the world, literally, they were livelier and happier. Yoo Joonghyuk, in a way, also felt like that. In fact, he didn’t remember the last time he felt so… human. 

Even if no one could see the weight on his shoulders, Kim Dokja’s eyes could. Whenever those damned black eyes fell on him, Joonghyuk felt seen like never before. Whenever he was lost in those eyes, all that weight felt too light to matter.

Whether they were past or future regressions, he always walked alone, even if he had a group; here, he had Kim Dokja to see him. He had Kim Dokja walking by his side, with all his teasing and the annoying constellations that love him. 

‘Not that I can fault them…’ He shook his head at the random thought.

What would have changed if he hadn’t been wary of Kim Dokja at first? Would things get better sooner? Would they be closer than they were before he di…

Why did his heart clench?

If he had helped Kim Dokja in his insane plans, would the smaller guy be hurt less? Would the results be better? ‘This is… this is the closest thing to living happily in the apocalypse I have ever had.’

“I wish I could live in a world designed by Kim Dokja.” He muttered weakly, his thumb caressing the cold cheek of the man’s body. In his mind, he added ‘For a while, I did.’

“Fool.” He heard Kim Dokja’s voice in his head. Was he crazy? Perhaps Kim Dokja came back, or the man yearned for the reader’s return so badly that he started hallucinating. Yoo Joonghyuk did not mind—even if Kim Dokja became a hallucination, as long as the smaller man was there with him.

‘But if you are going to haunt me… do it in person, please.’ He thought in half a prayer, half a plea.

The regressor looked at the man on his arms. “What if you can’t find me again?” “If you regress now, you would only be leaving me behind.” Those words echoed in his mind like a stuck record. A part of him wanted to laugh. Perhaps he was not that different from the constellations that loved this man.

Yoo Joonghyuk was never like this when Kim Dokja was alive.

A teenage girl’s voice echoed in his mind, “When someone constantly shows their affection for you, you start taking it for granted. If you don’t realise how much they care for you until they’re gone, you’ll only be left with regret and remorse.” It sounded like advice. It looked like a memory. Yet now it only hurts him like a curse.

“Maybe my regression worlds are built for dead people,” his voice broke. “I never looked at Dokja gently when he was here. I never listened when he was alive, but now I want him to answer me.”

As a regressor, Yoo Joonghyuk could just return, but a part of him knew that if he regressed and Dokja was not there, he would just break again.

What even is the purpose of regressing? Perhaps death is freedom.

His flying thoughts grounded him once again. Yoo Joonghyuk watched as his trembling younger self hugged a younger Kim Dokja. His heart was breaking in tandem. He was used to piles of dead bodies around him. His companions, those he loved, his family. 

It was easier to survive when nothing mattered, and Kim Dokja made everything matter.

SMASH!

A shattering sound echoed in his ears. His lungs burned, and his heart was suffocated. His head throbbed, and his throat closed. Once again, tears fell on his face.

Something shattered inside him.

Yoo Joonghyuk looked at his younger self sobbing over a younger Kim Dokja with pained eyes.

He would keep going. He had no other options.

The protagonist stared down as he looked at the lump and cold body on his arms.

Then, in a convergence of fate, in an accidental spark of time, Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes widened. He finally understood why Kim Dokja had such an effect on him.

As he looked up with widened eyes and a slightly open mouth, his eyes met his younger self's reddened eyes for the first time. Teen Joonghyuk never acknowledged his presence, so the man thought it was all a dream. There was a form of contempt in the grey eyes of his younger self. Silently judging Yoo Joonghyuk for taking too long.

Both looked at Kim Dokja’s corpse on their arms and hugged it tightly. After moments that felt like eternity, both teenager and adult Joonghyuk touched their foreheads on their respective corpses of Kim Dokja.

In a whisper, teen Joonghyuk confessed with a voice brimming with yearning, “I love you.”

The younger duo glowed as they dissolved into words of a story.

Yoo Joonghyuk was alone.

He hugged his Kim Dokja and said in a cracked voice like a prayer, “I’m sorry.”

Chapter Text

As the regressor gained a better understanding of his feelings, he stabilized—if only a little. He fixed the mess that was his face and returned to the group three days later.

I want to believe Kim Dokja is alive.

Lee Jihye rubbed her hands; Jung Heewon drummed her fingers on the table; Yoo Mia looked at her brother, opened her mouth, then closed it, muffling the words she dared not say. Joonghyuk registered the movements distantly, like background noise. He wondered, briefly, if they were irritated with him. No one in the group commented on his appearance; it became a silent understanding among them. Yoo Joonghyuk would keep moving in the hope of stumbling upon Kim Dokja along the way. He always returned, after all. The regressor would put his faith in Kim Dokja as if Dokja were God, and Joonghyuk became the man’s most devoted follower.

Shut up.

Joonghyuk clenched his fists and tightened his jaw. He did not need that unknown fucker reminding him of that. The incarnation already had enough questions by himself. ‘Am I the one you love the most?’ 

He trained with Lee Jihye. Jung Heewon and Lee Hyunsung joined them later. Kim Dokja’s name was like a forbidden prayer no one dared to say, especially near him. After they exited the tenth scenario, the others came to him asking about the reader, what failure means, and about the expulsion of the scenarios. 

“Leave him alone!” A sudden yell came from Han Sooyoung, the one he least expected. She stared down, hiding her face. Joonghyuk blinked in surprise. He never saw this side of her. Her fists were tight, trembling. He never thought she, of all people, would help him. “Just leave him alone, damn it!” If someone paid attention, they could see the ground under her turning wet. The writer didn’t speak anymore, as if breaking this silence would shatter her too. It was her unexpected kindness that broke him. Or rather, it was what made it impossible to keep it inside. Han Sooyoung merely quickened the pace of the inevitable. 

Even though he decided to move forward, everything looked bleak. The sky seemed washed in colorless grey, as if the colours refused to exist in a reality without him. Every step was hollow; the sound of his lonely boots reverberated loudly. A reminder of the absence he could never fill. 

The protagonist’s body was numb. His head was numb. His heart was numb. Was it to protect him? Or were they just too tired? Hopelessness devoured him slowly from the borders, savoring at its own pace. Joonghyuk let the ladle slip from his hands; it clanged against the bowl, but he didn’t hear. The soup’s steam clawed at his skin, a sharp, stinging reminder of life, but it barely registered. It burned his fingers, yet he did not flinch. The taste, too—faintly bitter, sweetly salty—dissolved before it could anchor him in the sore reality. ‘What’s the point if Kim Dokja will not be there?’

When he prepared lunch, Yoo Joonghyuk could not feel the flavors or smell the food. Even the texture was bland. He stirred it again, added some salt, but the aroma did not come. The taste refused to show up. It felt like living through the apocalypse.

Someone asked him to pass the salt. He did not realize they were speaking to him.

Could it be something in the water? The days were getting colder.

‘Ha… this is my third turn, but only the absence of Kim Dokja made me feel like living through the apocalypse.’ His hand touched the left side of his chest. ‘At least I still have the bruises he left behind.’ 

A part of him wanted to go back and ask Kim Dokja how he managed it. How does he have this inevitable hold on his own heart? ‘Is it even my own at this point?’ He wondered if his heart in his chest beat for him anymore—or if it had been stolen piece by piece, leaving behind only the echo of a dead god’s dreams.

‘Perhaps it only still beats because he wants it to.’ There was this possibility that Kim Dokja was a thief all this time. He stole the regressor’s heart just to put it on the crux of his particular altar.

Gods are cruel, after all. That was the price of devotion.

These last days were decades. The lack of the reader’s presence caused Joonghyuk pure chaos. Despite being only three days, it felt like the time of healing turned this sadness into normalcy.

He adjusted his grip on the sword automatically. The motion was precise. Muscle memory still worked. His stance was perfect. Lee Jihye hesitated — he didn’t notice. When did he return to training? 

Perhaps, if it were a little earlier, he could ask Kim Dokja to tend to it. The hours, however, had slipped past, and only silence remained. As time passed, his heart would not be so shattered after returning alone. And one day, if the reader decided to change, to remove his poor heart from the altar, to give it back to Joonghyuk as it was proper… or even better… if Kim Dokja wanted to take care of it, to take it from the crux and canonize it…

The stars that composed Kim Dokja must stay in faraway seas of the sky, as distant from the regressor as possible, where he could shine his light upon the mortals in eternal, glorious dawn. Then, Yoo Joonghyuk’s life would float through, in a third-rate Earth’s river painted in blue, as he stares, yearning at the reflection of the stars in the river, waiting for the answer to what he called ‘love’.

When he realized, it was already evening. The whole day passed in just a few thoughts. After cleaning himself, Yoo Joonghyuk moved to cook dinner.

He almost burnt the food. The oil smoked before he realized the heat was too high. He turned it down too late. He was late, again. He could not remember being on time. Sometimes the utensils fell. Another, he stared at a random point for too long. He noticed his hands had fresh cuts and light burns. Did he hurt training? Wait, did he train?

It was, in his opinion, another tasteless meal. Maybe Kim Dokja was really a thief, taking not only his heart but all his senses. To the regressor, everything was grey. Not a light grey nor a dark grey. A grey grey.

The emptiness stretched endlessly in his chest. He set the cup down, letting it clatter onto the table, as if the noise could fill the silence. The living space felt like a tomb, echoing his internal void back at him. Everywhere he looked, he expected to see Dokja—but there was nothing—only the shadows of objects cast long and cold across the floor. Joonghyuk’s shoulders slumped, and he rubbed his hands together, as if the friction could ground him in this void. He felt hollow.

“What is that?” Lee Gilyoung pointed to the skies just after finishing his meal. 

As everyone looked up, they realized the stars were falling from the sky as if they were no longer worthy of being there. A few constellations formed around them, and new figures joined them. Uriel, Sun Wukong, Abyssal Black Flame Dragon, Hades, Persephone, and a few others. ‘Is that guy Secretive Plotter?’

Uriel’s eyes were puffy, and her face was red. “Wh—What is happening?” She asked as everyone stared at her face. The archangel tried to compose herself, but it was hard not to know what was happening as she was hugging a Kim Dokja’s plush like a lifeline. She looked like a mess.

I wonder if I could get one as well…

A pulse echoed in the starless skies— an insurmountable amount of probability was there. They all felt it in their hearts first: a tremble that instinctively urged them to look away, but they were too entranced by the forbidden sight. Everyone shivered as their eyes turned skyward, struggling to comprehend the impossible. Even the higher-level constellations (and their secretive outer god) were flabbergasted at that amount. ‘I can’t win against it.’ They all thought. The probability covered the skies like a thick blanket.

Yoo Joonghyuk noticed that the wind stopped. Not calmed, stopped. As if reality was holding its breath. Skills of both constellations and incarnations were activated randomly, just to collapse right after. The Starstream folded on itself like wet paper.

Beyond that veil, an even older form of energy pulsed. It was ancient, primordial. Probability felt like a child’s toy in comparison. Secretive Plotter was the first to feel, followed by myth and then higher-level narrative constellations. 

A hole was opened in the probability veil from which one could have a better feel of that unknown power. From that hole, a single unlit star descended, claiming the skies for itself— a petite star. It looked like a white dwarf.

“What is that?” Lee Jihye asked.

“Don’t worry, child! I’ll protect you!” Her sponsor tried to cheer her up, but his trembling hands did not convey confidence.

“Is that God?” Lee Gilyoung asked.

“Why would that small star be God?” Shin Yoosung looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Well… all constellations fell from the skies when that star descended. Almost like they were not worthy to stay at the same level as that being. So… it should be God, right?” Perhaps a bit childish, but even the prideful constellations could not contest. They feared that the unknown being would not like it. Even Abyssal Black Flame Dragon kept himself shut.

Before they could calm down, a blinding glow painted the world like heavenly light as that petite star woke up. Secretive Plotter and Yoo Joonghyuk felt a weird sense of familiarity from that unbelievable power. It did not feel terrifying; it felt warm and cozy. The warmth pressed too close, like a blanket pulled over his face.

From that star, some probability descended towards them and formed words. Countless words in many languages. Once they converged, a being in white in a human silhouette appeared. It looked like a twelve-or-so-year-old boy.

Reality bent backwards around it. Space seemed to stretch and shrink uncontrollably. All life around it died in an instant, just so time could rewind itself, negating their deaths.

“Who are you?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked, then, with a cracked voice, corrected the question: “What are you?” It was obvious he knew they could never win against it.

“I’m a dreamer.” The being replied. Its voice was surprisingly soothing. “And a dream. I’m every dream.” The humans and constellations did not know what to reply. 

Every instinct begged them to look away. Their minds felt like they were stretched. It was like their feet were on their foreheads as nails grew on their eyes. They stared uncomfortably at that existence. 

“Is my form weird to you?”

It was not exactly weird, but somewhat distressing to see. They all had this creepy feeling of staring into the abyss, at the deepest gulf of the universe.

“What about…” The being glowed and changed its form and voice. “Now?” It looked like Uriel. Seeing no answers, it changed again into Sun Wukong, Abyssal Black Flame Dragon, and Persephone.

“Perhaps they would prefer humans?” The unknown existence changed again: Lee Gilyoung, Shin Yoosung, Yoo Mia. On the last, he smirked like a mischievous child and became Yoo Joonghyuk. For some reason, the borrowed appearance was of a slightly taller and more muscular Yoo Joonghyuk with a scar on his cheek. Secretive Plotter’s hidden eyes widened at the view.

“What about that child who was just expelled from the scenarios?” It suddenly asked. Not even remember his face must be sad.”

Before the incarnations and constellations could contest, their eyes widened as they realized they did not remember Kim Dokja’s face.

“Not that it would change much. That anomaly of a boy had a defective soul. It deformed his appearance.”

“His soul was… deformed?” Uriel asked. The constellations were worried. They knew very well how serious problems with one’s soul could be.

“Yes.” It replied. “He barely had what was necessary to form a complete soul. Something around 9%.” 

“How could he even be born…?” Persephone frowned in worry, much like her husband.

Hades took her hand, caressing it with his thumb to transmit a strength he was also looking for.

The unknown being shone again, and its form changed. It was a little shorter than Kim Dokja, more petite, too. The skin was fair and smooth with a rosy, healthy tint.

“He is truly a twink,” Lee Jihye exclaimed.

It was much like the original Kim Dokja, but not looking unhealthy. It wore a hoodie and pants. It was an adorable, nerdish outfit. ‘Cute.’ Both the protagonist and the plotter thought. The black hair, those beautiful eyes. They were shocked at how beautiful Kim Dokja really is. Yoo Mia even said, “Damn… the ugly ahjussi is actually super pretty!” The silence extended for a few moments as no one was ready for the mesmerizing view of their fallen friend.

“Does it mean that his waist should be even smaller?” Heewon wondered out loud.

Lee Jihye moved towards Yoo Joonghyuk and took his hand, staring at it as if it held the secrets of the universe. She stared at Kim Dokja’s supposed waist.

“What are you doing, unnie?” Shin Yoosung asked.

“Oh! Oh! I know! I know!” Uriel said excitedly. “What’s the answer?” She looked at Jihye eagerly.

“I think just one of Master’s hands is enough to cover over half of Ahjussi’s waist.” Jihye was bubbly as she replied. Uriel squealed and started giggling. Then, the angel began to cry and laugh. If it were any other moment, Han Sooyoung might joke, saying her body was trying to take a print, but not now.

“Wh—”

“May we know who you are?” Yoo Joonghyuk was interrupted by Sangah. Whatever that thing was, every single one of them knew it could wipe them out of existence easily. Since it is willing to communicate, it is better to have someone skilled in this area.

“I told you. I am a dreamer. It should be enough to know who I am.” Kim Dokja’s voice answered. Another silence came as they realized how good it felt on their ears. ‘He would be a good singer.’ Many thought.

“Could you give us more tips?” She attempted. As its gaze fell on her, Yoo Sangah flinched. For a moment, she forgot her own age. Not permanently, just long enough to panic. Her name loosened on her mind, as if it were something that could be read and taken.

“I am the moment. I am every moment. I am the measure of a thousand winds and the sun and the moon. I am every second of joy, every moment of rage, every instant of longing, every minute of obsession. I am every flash of delirium.”

No one knew what to answer. Mia and Yoosung quickly covered Gilyoung’s mouth before he replied, “God.” Who knows if it would enrage it?

“Perhaps one last clue?” It offered.

Yoo Sangah nodded. The unknown being looked at Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes, and a window appeared above its head.

“Sponsor…?” The regressor muttered under his breath, to which the being nodded and gave them a small smile. It stunned those present once again. Even a faint smile on Kim Dokja’s real face looked stunning.

“Can you bring Kim Dokja back?” Joonghyuk (pleaded) asked.

“Can’t you?” It cocked its head.

“How could I?”

“Just order reality to do it.” It looked at its incarnation like he fell from the crib as a baby.

They stared at the unknown constellation.

“Oh, wait. I forgot, mortals can’t bend reality…” It sighed, then frowned. “It must suck to be you, guys.”

With a hand on its chin, it thought a little. A few seconds later, its right closed fist slammed its left open palm like an “Eureka!” moment.

“Have you ever tried kicking it?” 

“Kicking… reality?” Jung Heewon could not quite grasp how that would be possible.

“Yes!” It said excited. “If I remember correctly, mortals tend to kick their machines when they stop working!”

They all stared at the being without knowing what to say.

“You wanted to talk. So… here I am.” It started. “Although I am not the main consciousness, the one who talked to you a few days ago, I am still your sponsor.”

“The main consciousness?” Joonghyuk asked.

“Yes. I am merely a small fragment of my real self. An avatar, in a sense. Wasn’t it obvious?” It pointed to the sky. “Otherwise, I would not use only that paltry power.” The statement was dry, spoken with an unbothered voice of someone talking about the weather.

They were in shock at how powerful Yoo Joonghyuk’s sponsor truly is. After all, none of them could even fathom the depths of its power.

“Before anything, however…” The sponsor’s gaze fell upon its incarnation. As it directed its attention to Yoo Joonghyuk, all its demeanor changed. The eyes were softer, the lips curled into a gentle smile, the voice carried a fond warmth, “You have grown a lot, Joonghyuk-ah. You have become the great story you wished to be. I’m glad. It’s good to know that the stigmas I gave you were useful in your journey.”

The regressor said nothing. Perhaps he was surprised by the sudden affection, or maybe it was Kim Dokja’s appearance that threw him off. No one noticed how Secretive Plotter was the most shaken of all.

“Oppa… what are your stigmas?” Mia asked. 

Yoo Joonghyuk was surprised by the question, but his sponsor replied before he could even think: “Regression and Transmission.”

“What do they do?” The child kept going.

“Regression allows him to send his consciousness back in time. Transmission aids him in slowly regaining skills and abilities.” The constellation replied. Apart from the constellations, the group was shocked. “In truth, Regression actually creates a new, separate reality and all the beings to fill it. Regression works on the greatest cosmic level, so no one can ever detect it.”

“What is a cosmic level?” Joonghyuk frowned at the term.

“You can see it as a scale of power.” Fake Kim Dokja said. “Starstream can be said to be an existence on the highest cosmic levels. Regression is still above it.” It made a pause. “In a sense, the stigmas I gave you have the highest form of power in the universe.”

“That’s insane…” Someone whispered.

So, this is what I’ve been paying with my life.

A constellation somewhere screamed in fear before going silent. Yoo Mia stepped closer to her brother without realizing she had moved.

They stared at the incarnation and sponsor with their mouths agape. How much power was used for that?

“So that’s why he is so strong… with such a strong constellation backing him…” Heewon muttered.

“Wrong.” It frowned.

“What?” She looked at the being.

“You are wrong. The only thing I ever gave him was the stigmas and protection against the Bureau. Everything else was earned.” The earth trembled as it frowned. The skies shattered at its words. It did not seem to notice. Or perhaps it did—it was just inconsequential.

“You… you are so powerful! Why don’t you help him more?” Heewon asked in shock.

The being shook his head and looked at her with sadness in his eyes. “It seems like you misunderstood.” It said. “If an incarnation becomes stronger solely due to their sponsor… that only means their sponsor is strong. Not the incarnation. The power is not yours.” They were surprised at first, but it did make sense. “All the power Joonghyuk has, he got by his own effort. All his skills, abilities, and senses. He worked hard for them. He is powerful because of himself, not me.” In his voice, there was a sense of unwavering pride and confidence in Joonghyuk that was impossible not to notice. Perhaps it took Heewon’s comment as an offense on its incarnation’s behalf.

To finish, it said, “If the heavens granted you strength, are your triumphs earned or given?” It asked while staring at Heewon’s eyes.

“I’m sorry…” She looked away.

Yoo Joonghyuk (and Secretive Plotter) was having a hard time. They used to think a lot about their sponsor. The latter even came to fully loathe it. But… seeing him now, it didn’t look like he was a hateful constellation. There was this warm feeling on his chest at how proud the sponsor was of him.

“Fate.” It suddenly started. “It’s funny how those bound by it can never properly understand how it works.”

It looked at Yoo Joonghyuk again as he started his explanation. Its demeanor changed once again. There was no distance as there had been with Heewon.

“Fate isn’t binding—ah. That’s not quite right.” The being took a deep breath. “One’s True Fate is vague. It depends on how one navigates their life. The True Fate will always come, but how? It depends on you.”

“Then, what about Hyung’s fate? About being killed by the one he loved the most?” Lee Gilyoung asked without fear. 

“It was a fate forcefully written in the Moon.”

“What does the moon have to do with it?”

“You already know the Sun governs the tangible, don’t you? Of course you do.” He waved a hand. “And the Moon… well. You’ve felt it.” Noticing their expressions, the being cocked its head, “Don’t you have the basic grasp of the fundamental forces of the universe?”

Everyone looked at it like it had two Kim Dokja’s heads.

“The Sun is what takes care of all real, concrete things in the universe. The Moon takes care of all virtual, abstract things in the universe. Life, death, luck, fate. They are more like automatic spells on a cosmological level. In fact, planets’ suns and moons were named as such because, poetically, they have some similarities.” The Fake Kim Dokja waited for the information to sink in. “To force a fate is to write in the Moon. It’s to add something before one’s True Fate.”

The children scratched their heads. There were too many abstractions in such an explanation.

“Is he… dead?” Shin Yoosung asked the question.

“...Do not believe in what you see. What truly matters is what you cannot.”

They all looked at the regressor’s sponsor, waiting for him to continue.

“The Moon…” It chuckled, “The Moon can be treacherous.”

It said with a smile. Although they did not fully understand it, it was enough to give them the much-needed hope.

“What about True Fate?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked.

His sponsor looked at Han Sooyoung, “hers is to write.” It looked back at its incarnation and, with a hand on its chest, said, “This child whose face I borrow… his fate is to be a reader.”

“What about Joonghyuk-ssi?” Lee Hyunsung probed. As the gaze of his companion’s sponsor fell on him, the lieutenant tried to recall the name of his sponsor — and couldn’t. Did he have one?

“His original True Fate…? I do not know. As a temporary fragment of myself, I do not have access to all my memories.” 

“What do you mean by original True Fate?” The regressor asked.

“I took away your original True Fate from you and gave you another.”

Joonghyuk’s fists clenched. I don’t even know who I was supposed to be.

“Can those bastard constellations do the same with Hyung?” Lee Gilyoung cut their conversation.

“No. Only a being above Fate itself has such power.” The group finally understood why it previously said ‘those bound by it’.

“What is my current True Fate?” The regressor asked.

“It is the strongest yet most demanding fate a protagonist could ask. Your fate is to be a ‘Hero’.” It said. “It is a fate only I can bestow.”

“Why is it demanding?” Mia’s voice trembled slightly.

“A ‘Hero’ inherently has the power to deny Fate. Isn’t it how it works in fairy tales?” It chuckled. “But in real life… such power has a hefty price.”

Mia tightened her arms around her brother’s body, as if her little body could hide him from the world.

With a wave of his sponsor’s hand, Yoo Joonghyuk floated in the air. An ungodly amount of probability came from him. It was nothing compared to his sponsor, but it was more than enough to sustain the whole universe. Or better… a few. “This probability is the price you have to pay for now. It will increase as time goes on.” It put Joonghyuk back on the ground. “It is a sword that yearns to claim your soul.”

Mia hugged her brother tightly, almost like it could bind him to this time and space.

“Why… why did you strip me of my original fate?” 

“The way you put it makes it sound like I did it to humor myself with you as my puppet.” It raised an eyebrow. Secretive Plotter wanted to explode, and it only got worse as the entity side-eyed him. “What would you do? Become an outer god and start a campaign to end me?” It teased with a mocking smile. In its eyes, however, there was a sense of sadness and longing.

‘Is he mocking me?’ Secretive Plotter clenched his jaws.

“Unfortunately… You cannot kill me. I’m inevitable.” Its tone did not match its words. Almost seemed like it longed for death.

“I changed your True Fate because you asked me.” Those present there were astonished. “In fact, I was against it, but you never listened to me. It is true, however, that you will need all that power and far more to slash the Eternal Winter.” 

Yoo Joonghyuk lost his balance. He would never admit it, but he was thankful his little sister was hugging him at this moment.

No one knew what winter meant. It could be a metaphor. Perhaps a codename. They understood by now that Yoo Joonghyuk’s sponsor sometimes spoke in codes or riddles. Be it the man or the plotter, they felt a bit guilty of their feelings and thoughts about the sponsor.

“As for why Kim Dokja did not know the answer…” All their ears perked at the information. “It could be that he himself did not realize.”

“How not?” Yoo Sangah asked.

“Little Forth. His defensive skill.” It continued, “It protects him from almost everything. No one can see his status, not even the boy himself. It is extremely necessary when you consider the issue of his soul.” The constellations that were knowledgeable about it had a grimace.

“The boy is lost in a fairy tale. Somewhere too far for us to find. He does not know the taste and smell of reality, of this world he left behind. Then, the angles were distorted, and he began ripping wings off butterflies.” They could not exactly understand what the regressor’s sponsor meant. 

“A good story walks a fine line between truth and fiction. For though the story is fictional, as far as the characters are concerned, their fate is real. Therein lies the rub: Are you the audience or the characters on stage?” No one noticed how the sponsor’s eyes stayed for a bit longer on Secretive Plotter.

There was this thick, uncomfortable silence. What if the constellations were characters like incarnations? 

“None of you can ever answer this question, as nothing is easier to fool than the senses.” The implied message that he knew was caught by everyone.

It looked at the constellations, but they looked away. Even Sun Wukong avoided meeting its gaze.

“What does it have to do with Kim Dokja?” Joonghyuk asked.

“That boy does not have the line. To him, reality and fiction bleed into each other and mix in a twisted harmony. Due to his exclusive skill and its single-minded nature of protecting its owner at all costs… that child has a sense of detachment from reality. In his eyes, all reality is just a story, and he is reading it.” Then, it giggled. “Haven’t I told you? His True Fate is to be a reader.”

To be a reader. Not to read.

Is this why he was unusually calm from the start? 

“Thanks to this side effect of his skill, he had yet to realise a few fundamental things. He had yet to realise that stories, thanks to the Starstream, are also living beings. And you, Yoo Joonghyuk, are the story he loves the most.”

The story he loves the most… Sponsor… what do you mean by that?

Secretive Plotter looked down with clenched fists. No one noticed, but the bitterness and envy in his eyes burned cold.

Perhaps his sponsor read his mind, but the being asked, “After all, why would he seek such an ending otherwise? Though… I guess you would not know it, Joonghyuk.”

“What ending?”

“That pitiful child saw your future in a story. He has seen 1863 regressions. Due to the apocalypse’s emergence, he could not see what happened to the 1863rd turn Yoo Joonghyuk. That child is still sad, wanting to know what happened to his favorite story.” No one noticed how the unknown being side-eyed Secretive Plotter, who went stiff in response. “And so… the boy decided to use his highest right as a reader—Fanfiction.”

The constellation let out a short laugh at its own joke, as if even he found the thought absurd. A few others blinked.

“He chose to change the story…” Han Sooyoung whispered.

Secretive Plotter looked at Yoo Joonghyuk with burning envy.

“He knew the stakes. He knew the price. And still, every choice, every risk, was for the story that mattered most. Yours.” His sponsor gave Joonghyuk a forlorn look and an unlucky smile, “He wished to change this turn so you would not have to regress anymore. He pursued a happy ending. Your happy ending.”

With a flicker of its hand, the environment around them changed. They were on a third view of the tenth scenario, after Kim Dokja was defeated. Humans and constellations were both paralyzed at the sight of the nightmare that haunted them.

“Why don’t you listen to his soul?” The powerful being snapped his fingers, and a translucent version of Kim Dokja, who looked just like the appearance Yoo Joonghyuk’s sponsor borrowed, appeared above the dying constellation.

Joonghyuk wanted to refuse. His legs felt heavy.

“Hmm?” Kim Dokja’s voice echoed in their heads. “Ah… obviously, time would slow down when it could not get any worse.” He sighed and looked at his companions with his gaze locking on the regressor at last. “Ah… yes… I’ve forgotten this sensation. The blinding lights that you see before it’s over.” 

A sad smile painted his face. The soul walked towards the scenario’s Yoo Joonghyuk and cupped his face with surprising gentleness. There was no teasing nor scheming in his eyes. For the first time, it seemed they were seeing the real Kim Dokja. 

“I did as I promised… I fought until the end. But… well, it does not matter. I’ve been living on borrowed time, and this time belongs rightfully to you, anyway.” The reader’s soul stared at the regressor’s gray eyes. “It seems like there is nothing else I can do for you, Joonghyuk-ah. I can only take a gamble.” The tenderness in Dokja’s voice as he muttered the man’s name was surprising, but it only made everything worse. “This will be the day I will die for you.” As the black hole sucked Kim Dokja, there were no tears or desperation, only acceptance, and the sweetest smile they had ever seen on Kim Dokja’s face directed at the regressor.

A blinding light came, and they returned to the real world. 

Han Sooyoung’s knuckles were white, much like the others from her group. It was a bitter reminder of the cruelty they had experienced a few days ago. To kill someone you love, to be killed by someone you love. 

“Sponsor… what… what was that?” Yoo Joonghyuk’s voice cracked just a little.

“That was his honest feelings at that moment.” The Fake Kim Dokja said with a sad face. 

“Shouldn’t he have worked harder than?” The regressor’s voice rose a little, but no matter how Joonghyuk tried, it still trembled.

“Have you not heard what I said? His goal was your happy ending. The boy cared for nothing else as long as he could give you the perfect happy ending. He could sacrifice everything.” A few were already crying in the background. “For that child, dying for your Happy Ending is the greatest cause. He is more than ready to sacrifice himself for that.”

“But… but…” Joonghyuk felt his face wet.

“Can’t you understand, child?” His sponsor walked towards him. “He is a reader. You are his favorite story. His goal is your perfect happy ending.” The constellation cupped its incarnation’s face with its hands, cleaning the silent tears. “And yet… he did not mind dying for it. What reader in their right mind would not want to read the ending? Especially the perfect happy ending of their favorite story?” 

It stopped talking and walked back, giving them space to digest the information and to calm down the rivers pouring from their eyes. Only a few sobs could be heard from the extended silence. Yoo Joonghyuk’s knuckles were white, and he felt a pulse on his temples. The room seemed to shrink, each breath tighter than the last. His arms held a tension that mirrored his grip as his throat closed with tears that needed no permission to fall.

“That kid became a constellation for that end as well.” Yoo Joonghyuk could only remember that night. ‘Did he become a constellation for me?’

“After all, even if he got you a happy ending, it would be useless as long as you could still regress.” They nodded. “After becoming a powerful constellation, he would use his stars to burn his story and negate our link.” The sponsor said, then added, “It wouldn’t work, tho.”

“The Severance of the Starless Dream…” Persephone thought out loud. Those who knew were shocked. Uriel was crying on her knees.

Uriel hugged the plush so tight that it creased the fabric.

“What is that?” Yoo Sangah asked in the name of everyone.

“It’s a ritual where a constellation uses its stars to burn its own story in exchange for a chance to wish. By doing so, they would be forever erased from existence. There is no return from this. It’s absolute destruction. Everything about them, even memories, would be forever destroyed.”

The mysterious sponsor explained. It didn’t take long for the clothes of Uriel’s plush to have some salty wet stains. Others were shaking as well.

 “It’s the absolute sacrifice. A long time ago, a mother used to save their child. That’s where all stories of ‘mother’s love’ come from.”

Noticing their distress, the regressor’s constellation sighed. Its body shone, and nine pairs of angel wings came out from its back. The nine wings on the left were absolutely black, while the ones on the right were holy white. It flew up a little, and a golden pulse came out of him. It was warm and cozy; it calmed them all.

“This is the boy’s true constellation body.” ??? said. It was rare for a constellation to show its true body, its essence to others. Kim Dokja’s companions and viewers could not tear their eyes from it. It was mesmerizing. It felt so… full? Complete? They could not pinpoint it, but if someone told them that was the Creator’s appearance, they would believe it.

Yoo Joonghyuk and Secretive Plotter’s ears were slightly red as they fought against many impure thoughts in their heads.

After shaking his head, Yoo Joonghyuk said, “Sponsor… What happens to the world after I regress?” The man took a deep, heavy breath as he asked the information he wanted the most, “If I regress right now… will I be able to meet Kim Dokja?” 

Protests came from his companions, especially from Mia. “Oppa… are you going to abandon us?” The regressor looked down in shame; he could not look them in the eyes. He would continue with them, of course. He promised Kim Dokja. But… if it came to it… he would like to know if he is allowed to have hope once again. “Hmm…” His constellation pondered. “I’m not sure if I should divulge such information… You are asking me about the secrets of the universe, you know? The Regression Stigma is above the Starstream, after all...”

Yoo Joonghyuk looked down, accepting the defeat. The man was too battered to try. He also hoped that, by not going against his sponsor, he might help him to find Kim Dokja in a future regression.

‘Aaa… to think that I consider this turn already dead because I lost Dokja…’ His logic was perfect, however. After all… he killed his hope a few days ago in the tenth scenario.

“But we can make a deal.” The Fake Kim Dokja grinned. Their hearts pained at that familiar grin.

“What deal…?”

“Since you want to ask me a question, I will ask you a question too. As long as you answer me sincerely with your innermost thoughts… I will give you the information you seek.”

The protagonist frowned. There is no way this is enough to pay for his question. After finally meeting his sponsor, he does not think the constellation would hurt him, but… he cannot help but think this is some sort of scheme. And, since his sponsor is wearing Kim Dokja’s face, Joonghyuk actually wants to fall for it just because.

“There is no scheme here, child.” The being laughed, “I want to hear your innermost thoughts.” With a chuckle, it explained, “I might be extremely powerful, but even I am not so overpowered to the point I can give you good communication skills.” It teased. The group knew the being actually could, but they allowed themselves to laugh at Yoo Joonghyuk’s expense, especially since it was made with Kim Dokja’s voice and appearance. It felt like having a piece of their reader back.

“Fine.” Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t say much, but the smile tugging on his lips did. He didn’t know what the sponsor would ask, but Joonghyuk felt the weight of every choice he had made—and every choice he would make. In half hope, half agony, he hoped to see Kim Dokja again.

Chapter Text

His sponsor, still with Dokja’s wings, flew in the air. “I shall give you some context to aid you.” An overwhelming aura pulsed in the air with the fake reader at its center. It was that power they felt earlier from the sky. Darkness surrounded them, and the sponsor disappeared. 

Despite the absence of light, they could still perfectly see around them. That same mysterious energy flowed through the dark walls and converged into the same point; there, Yoo Joonghyuk’s sponsor appeared. It was still using Kim Dokja’s appearence, but now the clothes were different. It was regal and holy. White clothes with fancy embroidery in gold and details in black and red. It looked like God.

“Watch it, my child.” Its voice echoed in their heads. With a snap of its fingers, the connection with the Starstream was cut. The constellations' powers were also cut short. There, they were all the same. 

A screen appeared in front of them; then, it became many. The screens played memories since beginningless time. It showed them the history from the very start of intelligent life. All its twisted lies and deception. All the sins and schemes.

Brothers against brothers. Sisters against sisters. Husbands and wives against each other. They hurt others, were violent, and abused their powers.

Even in modern times, with more rights, under the cover of night, the cycle continued as if nothing had changed. “As you can see, such behaviors have nothing to do with the Apocalypse. Evil has always existed. The pain, the suffering.” The sponsor’s voice got hoarser as it talked.

Both incarnations and constellations alike grimaced at the view.

It snapped its fingers again as if changing the channel. Then, scenes of the apocalypse played. Scenes where Yoo Joonghyuk was the main focus, but also showed what happened to the others around the globe. In the corner of the screen, a number that started on three and finished on 1863.

Mankind needed a monster to slay. And if there was none… they created one.

Yoo Joonghyuk and the others were in a low mood.

The sponsor descended in front of its incarnation, “See, my child? This is the irrefutable truth of this universe. Life is not a fairy tale where there are heroes and villains. If you read a story to a child, wouldn’t they cheer for the hero to kill the villain?” Fake Kim Dokja’s eyes stared into Yoo Joonghyuk’s. “All the living have a monster within; the difference is in degree, not in kind. If you think about it, what would one do if evil didn’t exist, and what would the universe look like if all shadows disappeared? Shadows are cast by the living.”

Yoo Sangah and Lee Hyunsung shifted uncomfortably.

“For only the good to exist, one would have to strip the universe of all living things, just because of one’s fantasy of enjoying naked light. After all, the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of their own heart?”

Constellations of Absolute Good and Absolute Evil were more uncomfortable than others. It was a philosophical subject that made them a little… childish.

“So… this is about good and evil? Then, what is the question? All the questions you started, you answered yourself.” Joonghyuk stated.

“Indeed, child. I don’t want that absolute good or evil gibberish. I want something based on reality. That’s why I showed you all this. Good does not become better by being exaggerated, but worse, and a small evil becomes a big one through being disregarded and repressed. The Shadow is very much a part of the nature of the living, and it is only at night that no shadows exist.”

“What is your question?” 

“Patience, my child.” The sponsor smiled mysteriously. “There is a story you must know first.” All the smaller screens merged into a big one. 

The first scene showed a young boy locked in his room. They could not see his face, nor did they know who he was. 

His parents were fighting. By the sounds, his father was beating his mother. After some time, the man searched for the boy to beat him, too. The scene repeated many times with the male abusing his wife and son.

The regressor clenched his fists.

It was suddenly cut, and the boy was now older, in another house.

“Quick, eat all the food before that brat sees us.” The voice of a woman echoed.

A note appeared at the bottom of the screen, “They ordered takeouts.” 

They watched the child who was never called for dinner and always had to eat leftovers. Some days, even his leftovers were taken. He had nothing to eat but instant noodles every three or so days.

The watchers frowned, especially those constellations of absolute good and those who cared about children.

Many had to take a deep breath, focusing on the cold air entering their lungs.

In the following scene, the boy was at school being spanked by his classmates. Kicks, punches, threats. There were times the others were more creative, like using acid to burn the kid’s skin. No one did anything to help; they just enjoyed the show. By the end of the scene, the boy’s thin body was painted in a mosaic of red, green, and purple bruises. 

Even the constellations of absolute evil were mad.

After those two scenes, they saw random small moments where the boy lived like that. They were more like photos. In each one, the kid was smaller than in the previous one—not in size, but in will.

The viewers winced.

“Now… why don’t we visit the kid in the hospital?” The sponsor asked, giving his back to the group.

“Why would we go to the hospital?” Jung Heewon asked.

With a flicker of its fingers, the unknown constellation changed the surroundings. They were not seeing through the screen anymore; they were actually there. The group was flying somewhat distant from a school. Without turning around, it pointed a finger at a boy at the window, about to jump. “Because of that.”

“What!?”

“Help the kid!”

“Why can’t we move???”

Part of the group screamed as they tried to reach the kid like shrimps swimming against a dragon’s current.

Fake Kim Dokja teleported them back to the hospital.

“No need to worry, the kid unfortunately survived.” The words hung in the air, colder than the sterile hospital, as if survival itself were a cruel joke the universe played on him, acknowledging that living through this world was itself a punishment.

“What do you mean, unfortunately?” Yoo Joonghyuk raised an eyebrow at his sponsor.

The existence looked at them and said, “Because he wanted it ever so much…” They wanted to refute, but didn’t. Its eyes looked down, and its voice carried a cold melancholy of something that was far too personal to pry. “Death was the only goddess that came when he prayed.”

Following the fake reader towards the door, the powerful being reached towards the knob, but hesitated. After taking a deep breath, it opened the door and walked in. Thanks to its powers, the whole group fit into the room with plenty of space left.

There, the kid was lying on the bed, his body broken from the fall. They waited a little until a woman appeared.

They recognized her from the scene where the family who took the boy in quickly ate the takeout. She only came because of the nurse’s insistence. Many frowned at the note. Even if the woman was a jerk, the boy tried to kill himself. How could she get even worse? 

The only sentence she said was, “If you are going to jump anyway, do it from a higher floor and make sure you are dead.” She was not happy that he woke up. “I’m the one who had to deal with the authorities, the reporters, and the bills.” Then, she exited the room.

Unnoticed, Yoo Joonghyuk’s sponsor swallowed hard, almost as if trying to contain a memory too painful to acknowledge.

Everything around them paused. The constellations of absolute evil were frowning in distaste. 

Their group was processing what they just watched. This had already happened. Yet the machines kept beeping.

“We should find him and help him!” Jung Heewon broke the silence.

“Yes, the kid needs to be taken care of.” Lee Hyunsung agreed.

“I’m sure he will be happier after he meets Hyung!” Lee Gilyoung exclaimed. His energy was contagious. For a moment, they all agreed that it was only a matter of time until Kim Dokja returned.

“Ahjussi always laughs at death; he is very resilient!” Lee Jihye agreed.

“Ye— hmm?” Mia moved her gaze as she noticed something. “Hey! A flower! The kid must have someone, right?” Her words lifted their mood even more.

“No.” The sponsor spat. “This child’s cousins and uncle never visited. None of his classmates ever visited him. That flower was left there by a nurse who took pity on him.”

…and the mood returned to rock bottom.

“Well, we can just pick that kid. No problem.” Yoo Mia tried to look at the bright side. “Oppa could teach him to cook or how not to be ugly like the ugly ahju—” she interrupted herself and looked at the face her brother’s sponsor borrowed. “Tsk!”

Lee Gilyoung puffed his chest at her realization. “Hyung is the best!”

“Sponsor…?” Yoo Joonghyuk interrupted them. “Is everything alright?” The man noticed how the constellation was surprisingly quiet about it.

“Í’m fine.” His voice betrayed no emotion. “But can I ask you something? It’s not my question, just something I hope you keep in your mind.”

The regressor’s heart was heavy. His sponsor felt so distant for some reason.

“Sure.”

“The living follow stars. But what do the stars follow?”

He was stunned. “What do you mean?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked.

It sighed. “Living beings tend to pray for higher-level existences, especially in times of need. This is particularly true with humans.” The sponsor looked at the kid. “They would ask for everything and the deity would oblige… until no answers could be given.” Its eyes flickered as its mind was somewhere else. Then, it looked at its incarnation’s eyes. “If mortals can turn to the gods when they are powerless… then who the gods turn to when they have nothing left to give?”

They were stunned as they had never thought about it. The regressor could see in his sponsor’s eyes how much personal that was. “Just take it as mumblings of an ancient being, nothing much.” It then waved its hand and turned its gaze onto the kid. “Just take a few minutes to breathe.”

Do you need to breathe, too, sponsor?

Silence reigned for a few seconds. No one understood what the sponsor meant.

“Should we find the kid before or after Hyung is back?”

“Before, of course! What could he be living through right now?” Yoosung replied.

“Well, it’s not like there will be a guardian problem, right?” Han Sooyoung said with a shit-eating grin. Her voice overflowed with teasing as she looked at Yoo Joonghyuk and said, “I’m sure our squid’s husband would not mind doing his job as a stepfather.” They all looked at her with widened eyes, but Lee Jihye and Uriel—those two had shining, widened eyes. “At least one of your wife’s kids has to accept you, right?”

“WHAT!? Why is Hyung the ‘wife’?” Lee Gilyoung looked at her like she had committed sacrilege.

Sangah stopped Sooyoung before the writer said something improper.

“Even if that ahjussi will be the wife, there is no way my Oppa—”

“Hmm…” Jung Heewon interrupted, “Are you sure about that?” She pointed to the husband in question.

Yoo Joonghyuk had his eyes widen in surprise at Sooyoung’s words. The tip of his ears was adorably flushed. When he realized they were all staring at him, he looked at the floor.

Lee Gilyoung and Yoo Mia’s faces were worse than they would be if the kids had seen a cosmic horror. Even an Outer God would not be this terrifying. Shin Yoosung seemed less displeased than the others as she muttered, “As long as he makes Ahjussi happy…”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” A delayed scream echoed in the room. Uriel, of course, was having the time of her life. Gabriel sighed in defeat as she put a mental note to reinforce the windows and buy earplugs.

Persephone and Hades looked at Yoo Joonghyuk with analytical eyes, sizing him up.

Lee Seolhwa chuckled at her companions, then, as if reminded of something, frowned. “By the way…” She moved her eyes from her group to the kid. “Who is the kid?” As a doctor, she hated being there and not being able to help the boy.

They all looked at Yoo Joonghyuk’s sponsor. The constellation looked at them with defeated, pitying eyes, like the ones parents gave to their kids when the parents knew they would have an overwhelming sorrow that not even they could change.

It chuckled weakly, then snapped its fingers. All laughter, curiosity, and play died at that instant. Yoo Joonghyuk could not believe his own eyes. Their faces betrayed their horror as their widened eyes teared up and their mouths opened agape. The group felt a punch in the stomach, all thanks to the panel that appeared above the boy whose censorship was removed.

Fifteen? He looks twelve!

Sharp breaths were collectively taken as their faces bleached.

“The living follow stars, but what do the stars follow?” Yoo Joonghyuk muttered his sponsor’s question from earlier. Everyone could hear it thanks to the pindrop silence. They remembered those words; they remembered their words.

Their thoughts began spiraling.

Kim Dokja had been laughing at dokkaebis and death since the apocalypse started. He always acted like death was nothing new to him, but… Even if he was always dying and coming back… wouldn’t it hurt? Even if it was an instant death!?

Yoo Joonghyuk’s hands tightened at his sides. His chest ached as he imagined it.

What is an “instant” death anyway? How long is an instant? Is it one second? Ten? The pain of that “instant” must have been awful for him as his heart burst, his lungs collapsed. No air nor blood in his brain, only unadulterated pain. What the actual fucking hell is an instant? Nothing is instant. Even the instant noodles Dokja ate took three minutes to get ready. Can an instant of blinding pain feel particularly instantaneous?

Every single one of them looked down in shame.

How could they not notice the signs that Kim Dokja has already been deeply hurt by the world? He was never ignorant nor afraid of death… Is there even a pain he considers unknown?

“To that child,” his sponsor started, words colder than the ambient, “this has always been a ruined world.”

The star Yoo Joonghyuk decided was worth chasing was a broken star. Not that he minded the cracks, he had his own, too. What gnawed at his heart was how he had been treating Kim Dokja as his miraculous hope when Kim Dokja himself had none.

‘If I did things differently back then… would he open up to me? Would he see me as someone to lean on, too?’ His thoughts were temporarily interrupted by the pain and metallic taste on his lips. ‘My sponsor is very powerful… what if I ask him to regress? Maybe group regress? Just to return everything to this turn’s first or second scenario.’

“Do you want a retrograde, my child?” His sponsor’s voice echoed in his mind, but not in the space.

“A retrograde?” The incarnation muttered.

“When one does not like a story, they would usually write their own versions. Retrogrades are a common trope, where one or more characters return to an early point in the story to fix mistakes and in search of a better outcome. It usually brings far more danger in the later parts, but it can be deeply fulfilling. No heart can take angst all the time.” It said.

Yoo Joonghyuk did not even mind that his sponsor was reading his mind; perhaps he did not notice it or just expected it due to Kim Dokja’s face.

Before he could reply, his sponsor said out loud, “Shall we end this?” 

With another flicker of fingers, they were floating near the third floor of Kim Dokja’s school. This time, however, time stopped. “Why don’t you see the expression he is making this time?”

Yoo Joonghyuk was the first. He did not want to, but if he were to meet Kim Dokja again… he must make things right. The expression, however, was worse than anything he could imagine. He looked calm, designed, and at peace—unlike all the snippets of his childhood on the screen. 

It’s the same face he made as he was expelled from the scenario…

Time resumed. 

The kids cried and hugged each other. Jihye was trying to stay put but failing miserably as her eyes welled up. Jung Heewon, Lee Hyunsung, and Yoo Sangah were sobbing silently. Han Sooyoung stared at her feet as her nails cut her palms. A few constellations were similar.

As they watched Kim Dokja’s young body slowly fall from the third floor, his youthful voice echoed in their mind, “If I had one wish, it would be to be completely loved. If I could start over, I wish someone would show me how. If I’ve made mistakes, I wish they’d forgive me. And this time, I wish I could live a life free from abandonment and sorrow. I… I just wish I deserved happiness…”

The unknown being did not give them much time and changed their places again, now back to endless darkness. This time, however, in front of them did not lie a screen, but Kim Dokja’s body. It was his broken body as he just fell to the ground. It just made everything so much worse.

“Can I ask my question now?”

“Wait…” Yoo Joonghyuk’s cracked voice stopped him. “Can you… May you show us his appearance? His real appearance back then?” After all, everything was still a bit blurry.

His sponsor stared at him for a few seconds, but nodded. A young Kim Dokja appeared just in front of them. It looked so real. He was wearing his school’s uniform, but his body was still painted in red, green, and purple.

It made their blood boil.

“Damn it…” Lee Jihye’s laugh sounded more like a cry. “I know Ahjussi is actually pretty, but did he really think he was just average?” She said, looking at the kid.

It was a face that could have been beautiful… No. It was a beautiful face. Even with the purple eye and all those bruises, Kim Dokja was still pretty. Grotesquely beautiful.

Joonghyuk’s hand clenched at his side.

“Can I… may I see him without the… marks?” The regressor tried his luck. His sponsor indulged him.

Kim Dokja had long, delicate black eyelashes, big black eyes, high cheekbones, graceful eyebrows, and an elegant nose. His skin was pale, but—thanks to the sponsor’s power—healthy. It had a rosy tint instead of the sickening grey. It was no wonder he could become that otherworldly, ethereal beauty appearance that Yoo Joonghyuk’s sponsor borrowed.

The group didn’t know why they wanted to see Kim Dokja’s appearance this way. They could just see Joonghyuk’s sponsor’s borrowed appearance. ‘Perhaps because we know it’s not him.’

“Ha, and that bastard dared to say he was average.” Han Sooyoung’s indifferent tone was plastic, and they knew it. “If this is not the perfect face for a BL’s protagonist, I don’t think there will be BLs in this world.” It was the closest thing to a compliment she could mutter. Lee Jihye and Uriel nodded weakly as a bittersweet laugh escaped their lips.

Persephone, who was already holding on to Hades’ arms, sobbed. Her husband was not much better, just on mute.

“Ahjussi could be a model!” Shin Sooyoung exclaimed, trying to lift the mood.

“Or an idol!” Lee Gilyoung shared the feeling. “I’d be his number one fan!”

“Of course not! I would!” The girl frowned.

Before the children could start an argument, Jung Heewon whispered, “I think that guy would be his number one fan.” She pointed at the protagonist. The mix of surprise and disgust was too great for the children to speak.

Yoo Joonghyuk unconsciously stepped forward, drawn by those dark eyes that held galaxies within like constellations looking for good entertainment on the Starstream. His right hand cupped the child’s face. His touch was gentle, the type of gentleness only reserved for a few. As his thumb moved in a shy, bitter caress, the smooth skin caressed him back. It was warm, cozy, unlike his cold, calloused hands. That delicate, lovely face and petite body looked foreign in the apocalypse, as if he would snap at the lightest touches.

The scene was a little funny: this big, muscular, stoic man holding the face of a petite boy with such fondness. Yoo Joonghyuk’s left hand moved to his dark coat, stopping just before touching it as he remembered that this was not the actual Kim Dokja. That he could not hide the reader under his overcoat, taking him from the ugliness of the world.

The protagonist did not even realise he was touching the reader in public. Lost between where he ended, and where Kim Dokja started.

Then, the child shone and grew. The adult version looked smaller than the Kim Dokja they knew; the powerful constellation clearly showed his actual appearance. Perhaps, since it was not his sponsor, Yoo Joonghyuk allowed himself to see the real Kim Dokja for the first time.

The first thing the regressor noticed was those eyes. Staring into them felt like standing on the edges of the universe, a precipice separating what was created and what the heavens had yet to decide what would become—too vast, too ancient, too quietly infinite to grasp.

Joonghyuk still held the other’s face, feeling how smooth his skin was, even as an adult. A few whispers and squealing happened in the background, but the man couldn’t care less.

What Yoo Joonghyuk loved the most was his reflection in those eyes. It was nothing like the one he would see in a mirror, in a photo, or in the water’s reflection. He did not find a regressor whose surroundings were filled with blood and the corpses of companions and enemies alike. He was not an exhausted man who secretly felt like a little child, trying to get all the pieces, scared he would never find any answers.

He looked… soft, happy, and warm. The Yoo Joonghyuk in Kim Dokja’s eyes looked more human than he had ever been. He was less a sinner and somewhat forgiven, as though the cosmos decided to grant him mercy for once. It felt like a trance. Looking at those beautiful eyes felt like discovering a private universe, one that had chosen to keep its gates open only for him.

How I yearn to explore all its corners… Lee Gilyoung always treated Kim Dokja as if he were a god. Perhaps the kid was not completely wrong, because the urge to kneel is humiliatingly real.

Then, the copy smiled. And oh, that smile… It was a smile that could light up a whole town. The way Kim Dokja’s eyes shone with mirth was completely breathtaking. It gave any observer the sheer relief of watching something so unguardedly joyful. With Kim Dokja smiling like that, even if just a clone, Yoo Joonghyuk could swear that reality bent itself a little closer, as if the heavens leaned to appreciate.

Kim Dokja looked like he belonged to a dream, but one that lingered after waking.

Snap!

Yoo Joonghyuk’s sponsor clicked his fingers, and the smiling Kim Dokja disappeared. A silence was established in the room; no one dared to say anything, especially after Yoo Joonghyuk was completely in a trance a few moments ago.

“My child,” the unknown constellation started, “do you love him?” and went straight to the point.

The regressor looked down; the tips of his ears were red. He felt like he was stripped naked before all these people. The man merely nodded. Surprisingly, the silence was not broken by the group, though Uriel and Lee Jihye wanted to scream.

“His real fate is not a beautiful one, y’know?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

The Fake Kim Dokja chuckled and put his hands on his waist. “Very well. I shall show you one last thing. An essay he did while still a kid.”

A young version of Kim Dokja appeared, likely ten years old or so. With a paper in his hands, he read:

“When I get bigger, big enough to go somewhere by myself, I want to go to a land that’s far away. I want to go to a faraway island. I want to go to an island that has no people. I want to go to an island where there is no pain or sadness. There are no adults, children, classmates, teachers, or my parents on that island. On that island, I can climb a tree when I want to climb, swim in the sea when I want to swim, and sleep when I want to sleep. On that island, I think about the town that I left behind. Kids go to school as if nothing had changed. Adults go to the office as if nothing had changed. Mom eats, and Dad drinks, as if nothing had changed. When I think about the town without me, I feel a sense of relief. I want to go far, far away.”

The kid disappeared. Only the sound of their collective breathing reminded them they were alive.

“Considering the poor communication skills you both have, you will have a lot of trouble. And, if you are not the one making the move, nothing will change. I assure you of that much. It won’t be easily, especially… well, it doesn’t matter.” Yoo Joonghyuk’s sponsor said. “Please, I just hope that you will, when the time comes, forget him.” There was guilt in his voice. 

The man frowned, “Never.”

His sponsor merely shook his head.

“You can say your question.” Yoo Joonghyuk’s voice was slightly distant due to what the unknown being said.

Everything around them trembled; some stumbled. The group was put behind Yoo Joonghyuk, who was facing his sponsor. Kim Dokja’s wrecked body appeared below the constellation. It looked like he jumped off the third floor.

‘So, this is what an instant looks like?’ The regressor bit his inner cheek. ‘How absurd the word ‘instant’ was.’ 

“Wouldn’t it be better if reality just collapsed? If the universe could return to nothing? Since the evil cannot be removed without touching the good, and since suffering cannot be ended without finishing all lives… why not just destroy everything?”

Apart from his incarnation, the powerful existence bound all others; they could not move or speak.

“My question to you is, after all, what you just saw…” The constellation’s wings moved, and he flew up, pairing slightly behind the body. “Tell me, ‘Hero’ Yoo Joonghyuk, do you think this universe is worth saving? Do you think the universe deserves salvation?”

The regressor froze with the question. It felt like his sponsor was asking much more between the lines, especially with the word ‘salvation’. ‘Does it have to do with Kim Dokja? He is the ‘Demon King of Salvation’. What if I give the wrong answer?’ His sponsor was powerful enough to erase all life.

“There are no wrong answers, child. I just want to hear your most inner thoughts.”

After all I have seen in person, it’s hard to say… But now adding what the sponsor just showed me… 

Before his thoughts could spiral any further, the voice of a certain reader appeared in his head:

“You’re thinking about leaving me behind.”

“Don’t think things will improve if you just repeat them a few times.”

“What if you can’t find me again?”

“What if this turn was the exception? What if you never again find the right combination of factors to have me step off that subway car alive?” He bowed his head, cynical. “I guess that won’t matter much to you. You have enough companions. You’ll forget this turn soon enough.”

He shook his head, scaring those thoughts away.

The silence extended. Surprisingly, it was not awkward.

“Is silence your answer?”

Yoo Joonghyuk looked away, “I just… I just don’t know how to say it. I indeed have some reservations about it, but… the words just don’t come.” He sighed, “I guess I need to get communications skills...”

“Hohoho,” The constellation grinned at the joke, “so you are not exactly sure if it deserves, uh?” His sponsor’s features softened as it encouraged him. “Words might not be good enough for many things, but I think we should still try.” 

The incarnation took a breath, opening his heart to someone, which was harder than he thought. ‘Now that I think about it, I guess I never truly opened up to anyone in my past turns…’ He sighed. ‘Perhaps this experience will help me with him later…’

“I’m disappointed in the world…” The regressor tried, “but…” The man took a deep breath, as if saying these words were a great hardship. “If it was before, I don’t think I would be able to justify my answer.”

‘Because I had none.’ He left it unsaid. The regressor frowned, as if saying those things out loud, as if hearing his own words had brought enlightenment upon him and his past. He brushed off the surging guilt. After a pause to gather courage, he looked up and stared at his sponsor’s eyes with confidence.

His sponsor raised an eyebrow.

“While there are awful, horrible things in this world, there are also things worth protecting too…”

As the regressor moved his gaze to the wrecked body of Kim Dokja, his eyes and expression softened, and his lips formed a small, gentle smile. Joonghyuk knew that saving the world also meant rescuing the people who hurt him. He stared at his sponsor once again. “I don’t really know if the world is worth saving, but I know he is. So, I would save the world for that one person I want to protect until the end, because he exists in it.”

Fake Kim Dokja raised an eyebrow. “You want to save the world, or do you want to keep the world alive just to save a certain someone?” His sponsor flew in his direction and stopped in front of him. The constellation extended its hand towards his face. Yoo Joonghyuk closed his eyes, expecting pain; he knew he could never win against it. 

“Hahaha!” A laughter brimming with childish mirth echoed as the hero felt his hair being ruffled by warm hands. ‘They are smaller than I thought…’ As the man opened his eyes, his sponsor was smiling at him. “You’re still very kind, Hyuk-ah.” 

The surrounding darkness disappeared, and they returned to Earth. The constellations breathed a sigh of relief as they could feel their power returning. It was nothing compared to the mysterious sponsor, but better than not having it at all.

“Sponsor…” Yoo Joonghyuk called shyly, “What about… my question?” 

The sponsor merely cocked his head a little and entered in a pensive stance. “Well… I promised I would not tell you this, but since I made a new promise, I guess it’s fine to null the previous one…” The sponsored incarnation was surprised, ‘What promise about not telling me? Not telling me what?’

“Yoo Joonghyuk,” his name was called, “would you like to hear a story?”

Chapter Text

“Yoo Joonghyuk,” his name was called, “would you like to hear a story?”

“A story?”

“Mhm,” the mysterious sponsor nodded, “Before answering your question, I will have to tell you a story. This story is about a fool. The fool who created the Starstream.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes widened in surprise. ‘Could it be that my sponsor…?’

“And I will give you a little spoiler…” The constellation smirked, “The one who created the Starstream was a human mortal.”

Now, not only the regressor, but everyone else was stunned. What? How? Why?

No wonder the sponsor said it was about a fool.

“Well, technically, you could say I helped a little…” The sponsor admitted sheepishly. 

The man’s hands were clenched, his gaze sharp, but Joonghyuk decided to give his sponsor the benefit of the doubt. After all, it helped only a little.

“Eons ago, I decided to descend to the mortal realm.” It began, “I came with my real identity: I came as God.”

No one had much of a reaction, after all; Uriel was an archangel, and Hades and Persephone were also gods.

“And that happened much, much before the Starstream.”

Some leaned in, listening to those words with rapt attention.

“Let’s say that things were not what I expected…”

It paused, as if reminiscing about it. They could hear the sound of the bonfire, which still burned.

“I remember when I was walking in a forest…” A sad smile was drawn on his borrowed face. “There was a child who wished to build a wooden nest to shield a fledgling bird from the cold. But that kid was so small and young, it could not yet snap the good branches from the trees…” The sponsor sighed, “I was passing by and decided to help. The final nest was quite beautiful.” Its smile seemed to reach its eyes before souring, “But… not understanding the meaning of ‘God’s divine intervention’, the kid dared not to respond.” There was a bitterness in its voice, especially as it highlighted those words. “Their High Bishop declared the event a miracle and took the nest as a relic, placing it on high for all to see. The child was named as one favoured by god, and became greatly respected among the people…”

Yoo Joonghyuk felt a little bad for his sponsor.

“Yet… no further miracles were bestowed, and this matter was soon forgotten in a few years.” 

“You just wanted to join the kid in making nests, right?” The regressor asked what everyone was thinking. 

His sponsor weakly nodded. “I didn’t know how others would interpret my actions, and I didn’t want to make things difficult for others, so I just stopped joining in.”

Silence. A pitiful silence, for a pitiful God. Reality seemed to bend a little, caressing Joonghyuk’s sponsor’s hair.

The powerful being looked down, recollecting bitter memories. Plants around it withered, affected by its emotions. Perhaps it was due to Kim Dokja’s appearance, but his shoulders were so small. 

Yoo Joonghyuk could not help but remember the question his sponsor said earlier: “If mortals can turn to the gods when they are powerless… then who the gods turn to when they have nothing left to give?”

“I would secretly sneak out to watch humans living their lives…” The being looked sad. “After a few days, I was curious. Why do people act so sincere when they were worshipping me but saved their truest, warmest feelings for each other?” After a pause, it rhetorically asked, “Do you know what I learned?” It started playing with its own fingers. “Slowly, I came to realise that… It’s because they trust one another. They know, deep down, that they’ll be accepted for who they are—all of it, the good and the bad.”

It paused, watching the mortal realm: the leaves falling, the wind dancing, the flowers sprouting.

“After some time, I decided to give up and return to my place.” It sighed in defeat. After a few moments, a true smile adorned its face. “It was when I met that kid.” 

“It was during one of my escapades.” It chuckled. “The kid was quite respectful, but he was quick to notice that I didn’t enjoy the worship and started treating me like I was just another human.” 

The deity removed the necklace it was wearing. It was a wood-carved pendant, a little clumsy and rough on the edges, but the sponsor looked at it as if it were the greatest gift God could receive. Its hands wrapped around it, caressing it with such gentleness.

“After that day, we became attached at the hip. That brat was my first friend.” It admitted.

Metatron shushed Uriel as she whispered, “Is it another companionship?”

“A few years later, my mortal body should have been around sixteen or seventeen mortal years while that brat was around fourteen.” The deity’s eyes were teary. 

“He was killed.”

Silence pressed down on them, thick and unmoving, until even breathing felt like an intrusion.

Then the wind came—late, hesitant, as if the world had forgotten how to move.

It took a deep breath, as if looking for strength. “Once I arrived at his mutilated corpse, I was shocked. I used my powers to see who killed him…” The deity looked down. “His own family killed him.”

Constellations of Absolute Good pitied them.

The sponsor sighed, “So, I took his soul… erased our memories… and made it so we could meet again.”

“Our second life was… somewhat better, I guess.” The sponsor looked back at them, “In my second mortal life, where no one knew my true identity, not even myself, I could experience the cruelty of the living to the fullest. That did a good number on me.” It confessed. “I still met my old friend. But… in the end, the suffering was too much. My memories returned, and I decided to give up and return to my original place. I told my friend that I’d be moving out and left him with a pendant. I imbued my powers into it, allowing him to make a wish at the moment he needed the most.”

“And his wish was the Starstream?” Han Sooyoung asked.

“Yesn’t.” The sponsor laughed. “The Starstream was created to support his wish.”

“What a fool…” Yoo Joonghyuk said.

The fire cracked softly, no one spoke.

“Indeed, a fool…” The unknown being created a huge tarot card.

‘0 — The Fool’

“In the Fool’s Journey, the Fool is someone who goes on a journey without knowing its end.” 

Then, it suddenly changed the subject while the card was there, a bit over two and a half meters tall in the background.

“My friend’s life was significantly better. Especially after a certain someone entered it.” The sponsor smiled sweetly, “My old friend’s first love.”

It sighed.

“They met when they were around twelve. I was not there. It was such a cute story about childhood sweethearts. I was glad my friend had a better life there.” The deity’s eyes were distant as if it could still see those moments. Perhaps, it could. “When they were twenty-one, my friend was taking his lover to see the cherry blossoms blooming. They were his lover’s favourite flowers. It would be a very… special occasion as both had something to confess.”

Its eyes and expression darkened as it looked down.

“They never had time to say what they wanted to say, because my friend’s lover was killed trying to protect him.” Fake Kim Dokja’s knuckles went white. “My friend wanted his lover back; he would not mind burning the whole universe for it. He wished for his boyfriend… but… as it turned out, his friend was not a human, but a constellation.”

The mysterious sponsor clenched his fist; no one saw his guilt.

“It was in a similar situation to me, who decided to visit the mortals. That child, however, went without any memory of his true self, unlike me in my first time. Not just that, but that child could be considered… my little brother.”

It laughed weakly, like someone who just invented a lie and would make it bigger.

“My little brother had accepted his fate, while my old friend wanted him back. Based on my friend’s thoughts, I created a system to help him: the Starstream. It can never be truly destroyed unless my friend’s wish is realised.”

“Well… he did say that he would not mind burning the whole universe.” Han Sooyoung shrugged while the hero frowned.

“In all iterations of the Starstream, my little brother, who had already accepted his fate, was not there.” It gave them a little pause.

“But, as a constellation, he should still be alive, right?” Uriel asked, invested in the story.

“Indeed, he was, but could not be reached. His mortal life was too traumatising, and he was still a young constellation.” The Archangel was happy at first, but soured with the end of the answer. 

“I had already started to enter Eternal Slumber, but I could still watch over him. I guided him through the turn until he reached the end of the scenario. I gave him a perfect turn, a perfect story, a perfect ending. No deaths, no losses, a happy life in the apocalypse. He was the only sponsorless incarnation to do that.” It smiled, proud of its friend.

“Tell me, Joonghyuk-ah, do you still think my friend is a fool?” It asked. The man in question was unsure of what to reply. “If it were for Kim Dokja, would you wish the same?” The regressor merely looked down, like a child caught in a lie.

Uriel and Lee Jihye were hugging each other, ready to cry at such a tragic love story.

“When his life was about to end due to age, long after the scenarios, he called me once again.” The duo had their hopes renewed. “He asked me why I helped him without asking for anything. I was not even his sponsor.” It chuckled at the distant memory. “My old friend knew nothing. Remembered nothing. And still, some part of his soul kept pulling—weeping for what he had lost.” Two girls, a teenager and an archangel, hugged each other and cried, but were still hopeful.

“Then…?”

“What happened?”

They asked.

“He wanted my help to seek his Great Perhaps. I was against it, but in the end, I accepted. I would help him once more, since I was about to enter my slumber.” The constellation looked at his incarnation, “Do you know what it’s worse than being a fool starting a journey without knowing its end?”

“No.” The incarnation replied.

“A fool who does not even know he started a journey. A fool who does not remember why he started one. Yes… my old friend, from the beginning of the scenarios, also did not remember his original life nor his lover he wished to be reunited with.”

The sponsor could see disheartened expressions in many; some even had tears on their faces.

“It might have been a few eons, but I would still like to ask it to the foolest man in the universe,” Fake Kim Dokja’s eyes stared deeply into Yoo Joonghyuk’s, “How has life been to you, old friend?” The tarot card shifted. Its image was now Yoo Joonghyuk as The Fool.

No one spoke. Even the fire seemed distant, afraid. The smell of their earlier meal still lingered.

Yoo Joonghyuk felt the cold air on his face as those words were slowly processed. His legs threatened to fall, but he caught himself before they did. Mia was hugging him tightly. Even Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung pitied him.

“May I ask…” He took a deep breath, as if this question was harder than regression, “May I ask what his modifier is? The one I’m looking for.”

They all stared in curiosity. “I cannot tell.” It replied much to their despair, “Not his original modifier… but I can tell you the one he got recently…” The word ‘recently’ was more than enough for them to catch up.

“Don’t tell me…”

“Indeed, the one you yearn for, my little brother, the Demon King of Salvation, Kim Dokja.” His sponsor said, pointing at his own face, at the face he was borrowing.

It all felt like a cruel joke on him. He had so many questions, so many ‘what ifs’. ‘Would things be different if I had acted differently? If I didn’t throw him on that bridge or if I waited more?...’

Soon, everything was consumed by darkness once again.

“You two met when you were twelve, at school. You played in the soccer team, while that boy was a bullied nerd.” The sponsor said, “He helped you with your grades, and you protected him from bullies. It didn’t take long, but you two just… clicked.” The environment was changed to the past of an untold universe. “Slowly, things changed.”

It was spring. The school had cherry blossoms all over. Kim Dokja was carefully removing them from his hair. Then, he stopped. For a moment, neither of them moved. “Wait.” He stood on tiptoes—eliciting a few squeals from the constellations and Jihye—and took them from Yoo Joonghyuk’s hair, “It’s funny to see this big, scary-looking boy with cute flowers in his hair,” he joked. After finishing, he gently fixed the boy’s hair and patted it.

The tips of the yet-to-be regressor’s ears were red, and he frowned slightly. Yoo Joonghyuk wished he had more flowers in his hair. Then, he took the reader’s hand and pulled him simply because he wanted to feel those soft hands more.

Of course, since it was his sponsor showing it to them, everyone got to know his thoughts and reasons for his actions. What surprised Joonghyuk was that he could feel everything he felt in the memory. Dokja’s hands, the smell of spring, his heart racing.

“Damn, you were already so fucking whipped.” Han Sooyoung cackled.

“It’s so cute~!” Uriel and Jihye had their eyes shining.

“But it was not here where Joonghyuk-ah realised his feelings.” The sponsor said teasingly. “It was during a school trip. There was a group of boys that would be the ‘kings’ of the school if not for Joonghyuk. They were also the ones who wanted to bully my little brother the most.”

The scene changed. They were in a karaoke. A hotel’s karaoke. If you did it well, you could get discounts, coupons, and prizes. Apart from Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk, everyone else was blurred.

“They knew they could never defeat Yoo Joonghyuk in fighting, sports, or games, so they went into the arts. My poor old friend can’t sing to save his life.”

“No way…” Mia said in surprise. “Is it true, Oppa?”

They challenged Yoo Joonghyuk in the karaoke, using the public to pressure him. Kim Dokja interfered, saying he would do it on his own. Before the boys could create an issue, he remembered that they also invited others to their challenges against Yoo Joonghyuk.

“Can you even do it?” Teen Joonghyuk asked, knowing how the little reader hated crowds and being the centre of attention.

“Don’t worry, Hyuk-ah! I don’t really like these things, but… at least I can help you a little! I mean… I’m not tone-deaf.” Dokja smiled.

“Fine…”

The rules were simple: they would randomise an artist, and the singers could pick any song of said artist. Of course, the boys coincidentally got an artist that was perfect for them, while Kim Dokja got Whitney Houston. It would be even worse if it were Yoo Joonghyuk.

The boys were a bit below average, but enough so that many could never notice, especially if it was against Joonghyuk singing Whitney. Kim Dokja, surprisingly, picked ‘I wanna dance with somebody’ without thinking twice.

Dokja closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then started. It looked like someone or something had possessed the shy nerd’s body. He not just sang, but also danced. His voice was mesmerising, his moves were accurate and graceful.

Somebody who, somebody who

To hold me in his arms, oh

I need a man who’ll take the chance

On a love that burns hot enough to last

So when the night falls

My lonely heart calls

Oh, I wanna dance with somebody

I wanna feel the heat with somebody

Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody

With somebody who loves me

Teen Joonghyuk stared at his friend, completely charmed; his cheeks were red, and his grey eyes shone. Everyone clapped in surprise. Kim Dokja even gained a few simple but nice prizes.

“Oh,” The sponsor suddenly interrupted, “Joonghyuk started doing dancing classes after this.” It chuckled.

The Joongdok Fan Group—headed by Uriel and Lee Jihye—squealed loudly.

“When did you all have time to make brooches?” Jung Heewon asked after noticing the brooches on their clothes.

No one replied.

With a change in scenario, they were in that hotel’s room. Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk shared one. “Why did you never tell me you sing?”

“I don’t…?”

“Oh, please, with a beautiful voice like that, if you don’t sing, no one does!” The only reply to it was the smaller boy’s flustered face.

“Joonghyuk,” Kim Dokja called his name. It felt so good in his voice. “Are you okay? You seem restless lately.”

“Just my parents, again…” He huffed. “I want to find a job and move out.”

“I don’t think you could get a job at our age…” The reader sighed.

“If only I could focus on gaming and go pro… even if it takes some time, I could still stream.”

Kim Dokja replied by singing, “Slow down, you crazy child. You’re so ambitious for a juvenile, but then if you are so smart, tell me why are you still so afraid?” It was slow and gentle. His black eyes shone as he sang. To Yoo Joonghyuk, those eyes clearly had something to do with gravity; the yet-to-be-regressor felt an invisible pull that was greater than that of Earth or the sun. It was constant, impossible to negotiate with. It was not violent; it was inevitable.

“What song is that?” 

“Vienna. It is quite beautiful.” Kim Dokja said, “It’s about… enjoying the walk instead of running so fast. You still have time.”

“Sing for me.” Yoo Joonghyuk sat by the other’s side, resting his head on Kim Dokja’s lap, looking up.

The smaller boy sang it; it was slower than the first version he sang. Joonghyuk didn’t know this song. He never cared much about music, but he could feel the way Dokja sang it—slow, careful, like he was afraid the moment would slip through his fingers if he sang it too fast, like he wanted to stay here, with Yoo Joonghyuk, a little longer.

While enjoying the other’s angelic voice, Joonghyuk could not help but notice the paradox in Kim Dokja’s face. Those black-hole-like eyes had too much light in them. They only asked him to look, knowing he would not return unchanged. 

After singing, Kim Dokja smiled in a way that all the light in the world dimmed, as if bowing to him. “So, don’t worry, Joonghyuk-ah. Vienna waits for you.”

“Do you think so?”

The reader nodded.

“What about you?”

“Me?”

“Yes, does Vienna wait for you too?”

“What are you asking about, Yoo Joonghyuk? We are talking about you here!” Kim Dokja laughed anxiously.

Then, he started singing again.

The boy on his lap turned his face and closed his eyes, with the enlightenment that something in him had changed. Or rather, that he noticed a change that had been there for a while. It didn’t feel wrong; it felt warm. A few moments later, Yoo Joonghyuk felt Kim Dokja’s soft, warm hands caressing his hair. It didn’t take long before the world of dreams claimed him.

After some time, Kim Dokja muttered weakly, “I don’t think Vienna would wait for me, Hyuk-ah.”

“That was when Joonghyuk began to notice his feelings.” The sponsor continued. 

“Master, you are so slow…” Lee Jihye sighed along with her fellow group members, who likely had realised that a long time ago.

Yoo Joonghyuk was only half-paying attention to their comments. His focus was on the bitterness in his heart. He just understood the greatest difference between his younger self and his actual self.

Now, Joonghyuk understood that Kim Dokja’s gaze never meant harm; it was the universe that never intended for a human soul to survive such clarity. 

It was too late, however. Too late for the realisation he had yesterday night before exiting the room. Would things be different if he had acted differently back then? Of course they would… that’s not the question. How would things be different had he acted differently?

The first time his eyes met Kim Dokja's was back then, when he had just exited the subway. Now he realised that, in that moment, in between half a heartbeat and eternity, he had already crossed the horizon.

Joonghyuk took a deep breath, feeling the air in his lungs.

‘Useless,’ he hissed.

His heart is open to Kim Dokja. His eyes are wide to the starry skies.

It changed nothing. 

Nothing.

Nothing.

His eyes were fated to search for his light, but to never find that particular star.

Kim Dokja was his singularity. Everything bent towards him; nothing escaped, and all rules lost meaning.

My only exception. He collapsed… I did it with him.

When he was a teen, Joonghyuk didn’t care about the event horizon in the eyes of Kim Dokja. He jumped without thinking twice. But the current Yoo Joonghyuk feared the starry tide in those beautiful eyes.

But now? It changed nothing.

Any star would be stretched and ripped apart if it came too close to a black hole. What chance did he, a human, have?

And yet, how could he resist the pull of the cosmic sea?

Even if he survived the inevitable gravitational current of Kim Dokja’s eyes pulling him inside, where would he be during the stellar drift until he found that event horizon? How could a mortal stand tall before something so grand? Something so beautifully terrifying?

A star so bright could never be his. Why would he keep lying to himself ever since he realised his feelings five scenarios ago? Because that was the truth. He understood his feelings for Kim Dokja after the fifth scenario, but he only accepted them yesterday. His younger self, however, was much greedier. He didn’t care if he had to offend the heavens as long as he could take Kim Dokja with him.

That unwavering cosmic tide in those eyes did not rage. It welcomed. And that, somehow, was worse.

Joonghyuk didn’t notice as his senses shut down, as if the world was slipping away.

There were no words for what lived in Kim Dokja’s eyes. Not because it was monstrous—but because words were built for frail beings and their smaller truths.

And yet, no words formed in his mouth. Even his breath dared not to appear.

How could words ever be enough? Up until now, he could only look and feel, and hope that looking was enough.

Someone was talking near him, but he didn’t hear the voices.

Joonghyuk tried to think about other means, but his mind was void. Even the words used to describe the greatest things felt shy to be put next to Kim Dokja.

He thought about divinity. Infinity. Eternity. Experiences so strange they cannot be related; emotions so poignant they cannot be meaningfully expressed. ‘If not with language, how can I describe them?’ 

Perhaps—

Suddenly, the regressor could feel a warm sensation in his heart. A cold, gentle breeze tousled his hair, and the grassy scent grounded him. After a deep breath, he opened his eyes and found his sponsor staring at him.

No one noticed anything.

The deity gave him a smile and a small nod.

With another breath, he nodded back.

He loved Kim Dokja, but now, it was too late.

Another memory was played.

“Dokja.”

“Yes?”

“Do you remember that Italian writer you talked about? França Rebele?”

“Do you mean François Rabelais? A French writer?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” The gamer shrugged.

“What about him?”

“Well, he had the Great Perhaps, Billy Joel had Vienna. What about you?”

Kim Dokja thought for a while, “I’m not sure, I don’t think I have anything.”

“Really?” The answer didn’t satisfy Yoo Joonghyuk. “Think about it. Tell me the first thing on your mind.”

“Why is it important?”

“Because I said so.” Joonghyuk would never admit he just wanted to know the reader more.

Kim Dokja sighed and closed his eyes. After thinking for a while, the words just escaped his lips, “I think I… I want to search for my ■■■.”

“Oppa, were you really trying to flirt there?” Mia’s voice cut the awkward silence.

The man only stared at her.

“Ugh… you will watch more dramas with me. You might pick up a thing or two.” Everyone laughed at her words.

Everything changed once again. They were in Yoo Joonghyuk’s room, and an adult woman’s voice echoed, “Kim Dokja, my husband and I are so happy for Joonghyuk to have a friend like you to influence him to the right things.” She smiled, “I’m going now, feel free to order anything.”

After they heard the front door being closed, Yoo Joonghyuk said, “You know she was lying, right? My parents only care about their image.” He didn’t want his friend—he hated this word—being manipulated by his mother.

“Don’t worry, Hyuk-ah, it’s not the first time I’m here to help you with your studies, right?”

As they had always done before, Dokja tutored Joonghyuk. The latter’s parents liked the boy not just because he helped their son, but also because he was the only one who could deal with their son’s temper.

This time, however, Yoo Joonghyuk was different. He was extremely distracted. The same words have been repeating in his head, “Look, I doubt Dokja would ever take the first step. You should do it.” That annoying girl said. “Why do you even feel guilty for loving him? Is it because you are both boys? No? Then, why?”

“Joonghyuk,” His crush’s voice brought him back to reality. Kim Dokja was standing next to his bed. He extended his hand out. “Come.”

“What about the boring stuff?”

“You did not even notice when I moved, do you really think you are in condition to study? Come, tell me what’s wrong.”

Yoo Joonghyuk followed by Dokja’s side, but said nothing. They went to Joonghyuk’s gardens. Kim Dokja liked them because there were cherry trees, and it was spring. The smaller boy sat under a tree, enjoying the flowerbed and the ones falling here and there. Yoo Joonghyuk sat by his side. He fidgeted with his fingers and looked to any corner that was not his friend’s face or body.

“Hyuk-ah, you know you can trust me, right?” Kim Dokja coaxed.

“I… I will show you…” Dokja smiled at the other’s words. “But you must close your eyes first.”

The reader raised an eyebrow but did as asked. Joonghyuk’s hands were trembling. He took a few seconds to gather courage, then pushed the smaller boy against the flowerbed. With his arms on both sides of the boy’s head, the taller boy closed his eyes and kissed Kim Dokja.

Frozen. That was the other’s reaction. Once their lips parted, Kim Dokja’s eyes widened, his face flushed. After not receiving any words for some time, Yoo Joonghyuk kissed him again, then kept his face close to the other as he stared at those beautiful, sparkly eyes.

What will be your answer, Dokja-ya?

Time passed slowly, especially when Kim Dokja had yet to return to his senses. Still pinning the nerd against the ground, the taller boy had his hands sweating, but before he could back down, he felt his neck being embraced by the other, and Kim Dokja pulled him into another kiss. And there, under the spring’s warm, they kissed; rewarded with a small rain of cherry blossoms by the world.

Constellations and incarnations watched with rapt attention and eager eyes, cheering up inwardly. Not even the wind dared to make a sound. The memory faded slowly, like petals dissolving into light.

No one spoke for a moment.

“LET’S GO, MASTER!”

“THIS IS COMPANIONSHIP!”

“THEY KISSED! KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

The cheers echoed in the air.

“Who was that girl’s voice?” Heewon asked.

‘Isn’t that the voice I heard recently?’ Joonghyuk frowned as he thought. ‘Perhaps slightly older.’ He still remembered those words. “When someone constantly shows their affection for you, you start taking it for granted. If you don’t realise how much they care for you until they’re gone, you’ll only be left with regret and remorse.”

“Of course, sooty bastard would feel guilty, it’s because he is not good enough for hyung!”

“She was the child’s best friend. The other best friend. Joonghyuk didn’t like her at first out of jealousy.” The sponsor replied, but said nothing about the guilt. “She was a lesbian. He knew it, by the way.”

“Joonghyuk-ssi, isn’t it a bit too much?” Lee Hyunsung raised an eyebrow.

“Damn, he was such a wolf mutt, all possessive.” Han Sooyoung rolled her eyes.

“Master was like an alpha…” Lee Jihye thought out loud. “Wait! Omegaverse?”

“Kyaaaaa~!” Uriel went crazy.

“Do you even know what omegaverse is?” Han Sooyoung asked the archangel.

“Yes… for research purposes, of course!” She looked away from her fellow Eden members. “I can’t wait for their children!”

Lee Jihye nodded excitedly before reality hit her. “But this is not an omegaverse…”

“And what’s the problem? There are ways for men to get pregnant.” Uriel imparted her holy knowledge to her fellow shipper. The apocalypse had its advantages.

“Hyung having children…?” Lee Gilyoung caught part of their conversation.

“Yes, yes!” Uriel said enthusiastically, “You will have little siblings!”

“But we have yet to find a husband for Ahjussi.” Shin Yoosung pointed out, and her brother agreed.

“Why? We have Master.” The teenager told them. 

“I don’t accept the sooty bastard.”

“I might be okay giving him a chance to make Ahjussi happy, but I don’t have expectations for him anyway.”

“And how would you even look for a father during the apocalypse?” Lee Jihye asked, “You should just stick to Master.”

Lee Gilyoung turned to Yoo Joonghyuk’s sponsor and asked, “Hyung, can you help us find a husband for Dokja-hyung?” The silence that was established was astonishing. Noticing the others’ reaction, the bug lover said, “Sooty bastard’s sponsor is my Hyung’s Hyung, doesn’t it make him my Hyung, too?”

“Hahaha,” as the constellation laughed, everyone relaxed. “Well, don’t you think your Hyung should have the final say over this matter?”

“True…” The boy groaned, “Fine… but if sooty bastard hurts Hyung, I’ll kill him.”

Shin Yoosung slapped the back of his head, “You bug-brained idiot, he could just regress! It won’t change anything!”

The sponsor chuckled at their interaction, then he turned to Lee Jihye and Uriel. With a bit more common sense and fear, they stiffened. “As for children, there is no need to seek other methods. My little brother can already have children naturally.” ‘God’s face was flustered.

“What!?” They screamed in unison.

Returning its attention to the children, the powerful being said, “By the way, my little brother would rather be called ‘mom’ or ‘mother’. In his exp…” It grimaced, “opinion… being a mother is… better? than being a father. Or just less bad…” It said with a frown.

Without allowing any questions, the regressor’s all-mighty sponsor started another scene. It was, once again, in Yoo Joonghyuk’s room. Kim Dokja was hurt; there were a few bruises.

“Dokja, what happened to you?”

“Nothing.”

“It doesn’t look like anything.”

“I fell from the stairs.”

“Those must be some funny-shaped stairs…”

“I’m completely fine, Yoo Joonghyuk,” he gruffed. “We are just friends, no need to worry about it. It’s not your duty to take care of me.”

Han Sooyoung interrupted, “Damn, Kim Dokja has a really twisted worldview. His ‘common’ sense is upside down.”

Back to the memories, there was an awkward tension. They were not studying or looking at each other anymore. After some time, Kim Dokja stood up. “I’m going home, see you tomorrow.”

Yoo Joonghyuk pulled the smaller boy into bed, staying on top of him. He locked the smaller legs between his and held the other’s wrists above Dokja’s head. They were face-to-face with barely any space in between.

Kim Dokja’s face heated up. Sure, they have been kissing, but… It’s just kissing, right? Maybe Yoo Joonghyuk just wanted to train.

“Yoo Joo—” The flushed-face boy was interrupted.

“Let me take care of you.” The taller boy stared seriously into the other’s black eyes.

“What…?”

Joonghyuk hesitated. He knew what he might lose here. Thinking about how they were more intimate these days, the taller teen took a deep breath as if courage would fill his lungs.

“Kim Dokja, date me.” Yoo Joonghyuk said. “Be my boyfriend.”

“You…”

“I swear I will protect and take care of you.” The tanned boy said confidently. “It’s an oath. I swear I will show you Vienna also waits for you.”

After a short silence, they stared at each other. Joonghyuk took his words back. “No. I will take you to your ■■■.”

Kim Dokja’s eyes were widened, and he was slightly stiff, not saying anything. The biggest reaction was from his trembling lips and teary eyes. Yoo Joonghyuk closed the space in between their mouths until only a small gap remained. He waited for Kim Dokja’s reply, and his now boyfriend answered in turn.

There was no gap anymore.

Chapter Text

Those watching the scenes had smiles plastered all over their faces. It was sad, but so cute. Yoo Joonghyuk felt a strange sense of bittersweet nostalgia, like he found something he was not aware he had lost.

“That was adorable, Joonghyuk-ssi.” Sangah smiled.

“I’m surprised it took you so long. I thought possessive mutts were more assertive.” Han Sooyoung joked.

The deity laughed, “Oh, but after that, he became very bold.”

They were still in Yoo Joonghyuk’s room, but it was a year later.

“Hyuk-ah, what do you want for your birthday? It’s today, and you never told me.” Kim Dokja pouted. The birthday boy merely bit the other’s cheek.

“Dokja-ah, my parents will not return home for a few days.”

“And what does it have to do with your birthday? Why do you even sound happy?”

“Of course, I am!” Yoo Joonghyuk grinned. “For this birthday, I want you.”

“Hyuk-ah, you are already my boyfriend. It’s been over a year. Did you forget?”

“How could I?” The pro gamer smirked. His hands gripped the reader’s slim waist, pulled him onto the taller boy’s lap, and kissed the boy. “Kim Dokja, I want you.” Before the smaller boy could say anything, Yoo Joonghyuk pressed Kim Dokja against his lap a little so he could feel it. 

“You…” The boy had burning red cheeks after understanding what was asked. “Shameless!”

“But I’m shameless just for you!” He chuckled. “You don’t need to feel forced, okay?”

Dokja started the kiss this time. “It’s not it… I was just… surprised.”

“You don’t mind…?”

“Joonghyuk, you could have asked this earlier. I chose you a long time ago.” Yoo Joonghyuk had the happiest smile on his face at that moment before they started making out.

Thankfully, the mysterious sponsor swiftly cut the worshipping scene for the morning after. Their bodies had quite a few marks: bites, scratches, fingerprints…

The morning sun bathed the room in light, as if smiling at such a lovely scene. In that cozy place, even time slowed down.

“Wait… did they break the bed?” Jung Heewon noticed first.

“Damn… you guys are wilder than I thought.” Han Sooyoung laughed.

Yoo Joonghyuk woke up first, but stayed there watching his sleeping boyfriend with a soft smile on his face. Over an hour later, Kim Dokja woke up to the sight of his boyfriend looking at him.

“Morning.”

“Morning.”

“How long have you been awake?”

“A bit over an hour.”

“What did you do all this time? Why did you stay here all the time?”

“I was appreciating the sight of the prettiest boy in this world sleeping by my side.” Joonghyuk laughed and kissed the other’s forehead, pulling Dokja onto his bare chest. The reader wore one of the younger boy’s shirts that was clearly too big for him.

The Joongdok Fan Group was squealing loudly with their eyes shining like the starry sky at such a fluff scene. ‘Not as shiny as his.’ The regressor instinctively thought.

“Is this what Eden had to endure with Uriel all the time?” Han Sooyoung wondered as she noticed how Eden’s constellations were fine with the noise.

“Yes…” Gabriel sighed. “We are already used to it.” Many others sent pitying stares to them.

“Master, you were so bold!” Lee Jihye was giddy.

“Yes, yes!” Uriel was the same. “You should be more like that, y’know?”

The sponsor chuckled at their words as they watched them with a smile.

Yoo Joonghyuk cleared his throat to change subjects and asked in an almost indifferent voice. “Sponsor, what’s next?”, but his ears were red.

It was a year later.

Kim Dokja participated in auditions to become an idol after the insistence of his best friend and boyfriend. The taller boy encouraged him before it started.

Despite Kim Dokja being naturally introverted, the transformation when he started singing was incredible. It felt like, when he surrendered to music, a bit of his real self escaped through the notes and could be seen by the outside world.

The process was absurdly long, but the reader passed. It was decided he would be a solo idol. Not just his voice was gorgeous, but, while his naturally shy demeanour was endearing, he could “change” his personality as well. It made him such a great character.

“Hyung will be the best idol!” Lee Gilyoung cheered.

“Would Ahjussi give us free tickets?” Shin Yoosung wondered out loud.

“At the very least, he would have to take care of his health as an idol…” Lee Seolhwa sighed.

“I don’t think it would change much,” Lee Hyunsung chuckled, “Joonghyuk-ssi was taking care of it already.”

They pretended not to see Yoo Joonghyuk’s flustered skin.

In the next scene, they were once again studying in the regressor’s bedroom.

“Dokja-ya, can’t we change the subject? Who cares about math, anyway?” He complained.

“Hyuk-ah, you have quite good grades, right now. You must keep up! Once you finish these last five questions, we can ‘change the subject’ as you like it.” He replied with blush cheeks.

“Oppa…” Yoo Mia looked at her brother, “You always told me I should have good grades and study everything without complaining…”

The man refused to look at his sister at this moment.

“Finally, I’m done…” The student Joonghyuk sighed in relief.

Kim Dokja checked and nodded. Everything was correct.

“Now, to the subject I really like!” He stood up, lifted his boyfriend, and threw him over his shoulders like a bag of groceries. After walking towards the bed, he threw the boy on it and joined him. Yoo Joonghyuk was in between Kim Dokja’s legs, pinning him down and making out with him. After some time, he took his shirt off.

“Wait… were you studying harder because you wanted to fuc—”

“HAN SOOYOUNG!” Yoo Sangah quickly cut the woman.

“Were you studying more because you wanted to…” She felt the woman’s gaze on her again, “Worship Kim Dokja?”

“Han Sooyoung! You should not imagine such things about people, we don’t know the full story…”

Since the man himself didn’t have these memories, he could not answer. His sponsor, on the other hand…

“Yes.”

“Re–Really?” Sangah’s mouth was agape.

The deity chuckled.

Yoo Joonghyuk’s gaze ran away from the others, especially his sister.

“You are so whipped, Joonghyuk-ssi.” Heewon laughed.

“Oppa…” The image Mia had of her brother was slightly shattered.

“Don’t worry, Mia.” Her brother’s sponsor said, “The one who helped you with school was always my little brother.”

“Did I exist there too?” She asked in surprise.

“But of course!” It chuckled. “You all existed there. In fact, when you were much younger, in school, you once wrote that your dad was ‘Yoo Joonghyuk’ and your mom was ‘Kim Dokja’. It was quite cute.” The sponsor smiled sweetly.

It was Mia’s time to be flustered. Before she could deny it, the sponsor made that very paper appear, and it was much larger than it should be, so all could read.

“Doesn’t it mean that Gilyoung, Mia, and Yoosung are siblings?” Lee Jihye wondered.

“They are indeed.” The sponsor replied, eliciting many inquiring looks. “Those two adopted Gilyoung and Yoosung at some point.”

The two children smiled happily.

Then, the boy realized something. “Wait, did I accept the sooty bastard as my dad?” Shin Yoosung was equally disturbed.

“Oh, worry not, you also called him a sooty bastard who was not good enough for your mom.” The sponsor laughed.

The boy sighed in relief.

“Talk about a consistent character…” Han Sooyoung joked. “Yoo Joonghyuk being a horny mutt for Kim Dokja is also quite consistent.”

“Han Sooyoung!” Sangah reproached.

The environment changed again. They were in a room with many PCs. Yoo Joonghyuk was older; a note said he was 18. It was over a year later. His brows were furrowed, and a terrifying scowl marred his face.

“To think you had a murderous gaze even before the starstream…” Han Sooyoung whistled in surprise. “But even then, isn’t that a bit too murderous?” While it was not like the one Joonghyuk had now, for a peaceful world, it was still quite scary. They could almost feel the bloodlust.

“Master, why are you so angry?” A little Jihye appeared.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Little Kim Namwoon scoffed, “Captain’s wife is away for too long.”

A tall woman appeared. “Joonghyuk, I know it’s the longest time you have been away from Dokja, but couldn’t you at least try a bit more? We have a game tomorrow.”

“I’m completely normal, coach.” His voice was hoarse and deep; there was a tinge of wrath and sorrow, or longing. Definitely, Yoo Joonghyuk was despising space and time right now.

“Brat, tomorrow will make it two weeks since the last time you have seen him. And yet, you two still have at least five video calls each day, those were the public ones, not the privates.” Namgung Minyoung teased. “I know you miss him, but you are a pro gamer; he is an idol. Your schedules won’t fit forever.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s only reaction was the closest to a pout he could ever do. He looked sulky.

“Damn… you two are so lovey-dovey.” Han Sooyoung said. “The sugar in my blood increased just by watching.”

“I APPEARED!” Lee Jihye shouted in excitement.

“Why was Hyung referred to as the sooty bastard’s wife? Did they marry?” Lee Gilyoung wondered.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if it was because they started acting like a married couple after three days of dating.” Han Sooyoung sighed.

The next day, Lee Jihye and Kim Namwoon were pulling Yoo Joonghyuk to the training room.

“C’mon, Master!”

“Captain, I’m sure you will be very happy today!”

A scoff was their only answer.

Everything changed once they opened the door to the training room. Kim Dokja was there in a cute nerdish outfit, the best style for Kim Dokja in Yoo Joonghyuk’s opinion.

“Dokja!” Quickly, the man ran towards the idol and hugged him tightly, burying his face in the curve of the smaller one’s neck.

“Hyuk-ah!” Kim Dokja hugged him back.

After a couple of minutes, Yoo Joonghyuk went to one of the seats and pulled his lover onto his lap. The pro gamer’s hands embraced the smaller waist of his reader.

Kim Dokja turned his head a bit to the right as an invitation. Yoo Joonghyuk smiled as he dived his face into the idol’s neck.

For a moment, the world made sense.

Everyone in the room laughed, but Joonghyuk couldn’t care less. He was way too focused on the warmth of his star.

“I have to agree with Han Sooyoung here, you truly look like a big dog, Joonghyuk-ssi.” Heewon chuckled.

The regressor scowled, but it had no bite. Even Joonghyuk himself couldn’t deny that.

“Oppa would be at least a strong wolf.” Mia tried to defend her brother’s honour. In truth, she was trying to keep her image of him intact in her mind.

“I don’t think being a dog or a wolf changes anything when it comes to his owner.” Han Sooyoung teased him with her classic shit-eating grin.

Joonghyuk’s sponsor joined their teasing, paused the memory, and added wolf ears and a wagging wolf tail on his incarnation.

They all laughed at the image. It was so alien compared to the Yoo Joonghyuk they knew, but it somehow felt natural when it was about Kim Dokja.

Then, the teens in the memory saw something they would never dreamed of, “Yeobo… I missed you so much.” Yoo Joonghyuk’s whiny voice could not mask how needy the boy was.

“Don’t worry, Yeobo, I’m here now.” Dokja kissed his boyfriend’s forehead.

“Seolhwa-ssi, could you please give me a check-up?” Han Sooyoung asked, “I think I have diabetes.”

“Master is truly whipped.” 

“They are really lovey-dovey.” Heewon could only blink in surprise. It was a bit (too much) more than she had imagined.

“As that little writer guessed,” The mysterious sponsor chuckled, “They started addressing each other as ‘Yeobo’ after three days of dating. Since then, many consider them as married rather than dating. Especially after this point, where they were already raising Mia together.”

“That’s so cute and domestic!” Uriel said. Perhaps constellations can’t have diabetes.

I wish I could be like that now…

The scenes kept going. Now, in a dark place, only a salad was on the kitchen countertop. Soon, two people come from the front door. The viewers could see Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja in outdoor clothes. The latter also wore a way-too-big jacket to protect him from the cold. Obviously, it was Joonghyuk’s.

As soon as the door was closed, Yoo Joonghyuk picked Dokja up, and they started kissing as they walked towards the kitchen. It was calm, gentle, and affectionate. Yoo Joonghyuk often kissed Dokja’s face and even gave a few Eskimo kisses.

In the end, Joonghyuk laid Dokja on the table as they kissed, completely unaware of the presence arriving. A woman picked her dish, and as she was about to bite into it, she looked at them.

“No fucking way…” She groaned. “Are you serious? Really? Right in front of my salad?”

The couple merely laughed at her.

After eating, they went to Yoo Joonghyuk’s makeshift office.

Yoo Joonghyuk soon went to streaming. It was the day before he would play in a competition. It was outside Korea, so their group decided to rent a big house together. 

Soon, the chat noticed someone in the background.

“Dokja,” he called softly as kind eyes fell on the smaller boy.

“Yes?”

“My chat wants to see you.”

Kim Dokja stood up from the bed and appeared behind Yoo Joonghyuk. “Hey, guys!”

Yoo Joonghyuk frowned a little.

“I love you guys as well!”

“Of course I know! I was the one who helped him start streaming, y’know?” He chuckled. “I’m also his first viewer.” The smaller man puffed his chest proudly while the taller one chuckled.

“See, Hyukkie? I told you you should talk more. It would have been much harder for you if not for your face card.” He teased the man who just huffed in response. 

“Do you mind if I stay?”

“Just get a chair.”

There was a small skip, and the following day arrived. Yoo Joonghyuk would play in the afternoon. Of course, he was happy Dokja was there to watch. 

He won, obviously.

“Good grief, he does love to show off when you are near, right?” Dokja’s best friend teased him.

“He looks like an emotionally constipated alpha trying to scream to the omega that he likes how good a partner he would be.” She chuckled, then said while deepening her voice, “Look, I’m tall and strong to protect you, I know how to cook to feed you during your pregnancy, I’m good with kids, so you can trust me with them. I also have a healthy body. I promise you strong and healthy pups, pick me!” 

Kim Dokja blushed prettily at her words.

“Wow, that diva was so right.” Han Sooyoung whistled.

“Oppa, what is an alpha and an omega?” Mia wondered.

“I have no idea.” He frowned, confused.

Uriel and Jihye were, obviously, screaming.

Yoo Joonghyuk was not sure if he would want to ask his disciple later.

He decided to just focus on that sweet dream of a life he once had with his Dokja.

The pro gamer took Dokja to dinner with the players and others from the gaming scenario. They were all used to Dokja tagging along and didn’t mind. To them, even if he was just an anonymous person, it would be fine. Such a good eye candy.

Yoo Joonghyuk went to the bathroom when a waiter told Dokja someone was waiting for him in the gardens. Thinking it was his boyfriend, the bookworm went without questioning much.

“Ah… Kim Dokja…” It was a polemic pro-player known for getting laid with famous people.

He quickly pulled Dokja by the hips.

Yoo Joonghyuk arrived at the table at that moment. 

“Where is Dokja?”

“Hyung went to the gardens.” Kim Namwoon said.

“Weren’t you the one who invited him?” Lee Jihye asked. “Now that I think about… I’m not finding Cheon Inho either…” 

The man frowned and quickly walked to the gardens.

“Once the paparazzi get a few photos, we’ll be all over the news tomorrow. So why not make it worth it?” Inho held Dokja’s wrists, his face closer than it should be.

“Stop it! I already have a boyfriend!”

“You came all the way out here. Don’t act innocent now.” Inho smirked as he closed their faces. The smaller man couldn’t do anything as he was immobilized. He relished as Dokja tried to squirm his way out, putting some distance between their faces. “Relax. We just need one good shot. The better you try, the more gentle I’ll be.”

Cheon Inho slowly removed the gap between their faces, a cruel smirk as he watched the other’s sweet desperation.

“I thought it was—” Dokja’s eyes were closed, as if he refused to accept reality, and a few tears formed in the corner of his eyes.

Before Dokja could finish his words and their lips could meet, a punch arrived right at Cheon Inho’s face.

“He thought it was me.” Yoo Joonghyuk's voice echoed under the cold moonlight in the gardens.

Kim Dokja quickly walked behind his boyfriend, his hands on the man’s shirt, gripping tightly.

“Hohoho, so the rumours of you two were correct.” Cheon Inho teased. “What would happen when I—”

“I don’t give a fuck.” Joonghyuk’s cold voice interrupted as he looked at Cheon Inho with the same eyes a predator would look at its prey: as if he was seeing a dead man. “We never said anything because we’re private. Not because we were hiding.” He rolled his eyes at the other. 

“And what? Would you punch me? I could just edit and release these videos, y’know? Just go away, then I will not post them.” 

“Very well.”

Cheon Inho smirked at the man’s accepting words.

But then, Yoo Joonghyuk added, “I will not hunt anyone who posts these videos online as long as they post everything.”

Joonghyuk walked towards Inho.

“Wh–What are you doing?” He stepped back as the taller man approached him. “You can’t touch me, your repu–”

POW!

He hit him once. Then again. And didn’t stop until Dokja’s hands were on his arm. Joonghyuk’s rage-filled eyes still looked at Inho like he was ready to kill the man. His knuckles were white, but his boyfriend’s needs were more important now.

The idol’s hands were still trembling. Dokja tried to smile, but his eyes betrayed how scared he actually was. His heartbeat was echoing too loudly in his ears.

“Thanks for saving me!” The reader hugged him, his voice breaking midway as his throat closed.

“Don’t worry, babe. I’m here now.” The pro gamer kissed the reader’s forehead. Kim Dokja buried his face against the male’s chest. Joonghyuk’s body warmth and cologne flooded his senses. Dokja’s heart slowed down a little as if no one in the world could touch him there.

“I would rather have you out of danger, you know?” The gamer chuckled as he hugged the other tightly, then kissed his forehead. “Did you have that much faith that I would come?”

“Of course!” Kim Dokja smiled as a few tears fell from his eyes. “To me, you are, under all aspects, everything that someone could ever be.” He took a breath. “If there is anyone capable of saving me… it would be you.”

Joonghyuk smiled softly, allowing the reader to return to the safety of the taller one’s chest. The pro gamer caressed his boyfriend’s dark locks slowly with one hand as the other held Dokja by the lower back, making circular movements.

For a moment, there was only them, the crickets in the flowery garden, and the stars in the sky.

A cold, sweet breeze brushed against their skin.

“Are you hurt?” Joonghyuk asked.

“No.” The reply was a whisper.

“Dokja.”

“My wrists are aching a little.”

Joonghyuk sent a murderous gaze to the man, only to realize Cheon Inho took the opportunity to run away.

“You scared me.”

He sighed.

The pro gamer tightened his arms around his boyfriend in a silent attempt to ground the smaller man.

They stayed like that for some time.

After a deep breath, Joonghyuk opened his mouth. “Does the hero get a reward?” Yoo Joonghyuk teased him as he wiped those tears off, hoping that some banter could help Dokja. He hated seeing Kim Dokja crying.

“Am I your damsel in distress, now?” Dokja chuckled.

“You always say I look like a story’s protagonist. So, what does that make you, my little reader?” Joonghyuk’s face rested on Dokja’s hair.

“Well… my dear hero, if you were anyone else, I would say no, but it’s hard to say no to you.” 

“Then, I want a kiss.”

His hands moved to Kim Dokja’s hips, and Dokja tiptoed. Under the silver moonlight, they kissed.

The regressor’s nails were pressed against his calloused palms until they drew blood. Yoo Joonghyuk was, like the one in the memory, enraged. After a lot of cursing towards that stupid man, they focused on the sweet parts.

“Gods, you two were so insufferable together…” Han Sooyoung pretended to gag. “I pity that best friend of his.”

“I have to admit, my blood feels a bit sweet right now.” Jung Heewon teased.

“Companionship!” Uriel was crying happily as Gabriel sighed. Metatron had already put all the responsibility on the latter’s shoulders. The Scribe of Heavens washed his hands in holy water.

“To think Joonghyuk-ssi was such a romantic…” Lee Hyunsung was surprised, “but isn’t he a bit too possessive?” He asked in a whisper. The former lieutenant was used to the military’s strict order.

“Well... it seemed like Dokja-ssi could control him in that regard and… also liked it…” Sangah’s smile was awkward, like she had to explain a sex joke to a child.

The videos went viral quickly. Not just did Yoo Joonghyuk beat that guy, but they discovered that one of the most famous and skilled pro players and streamers, Yoo Joonghyuk, dated the world’s darling idol, Kim Dokja.

Many cited Joonghyuk’s actions of violence, but they were quickly shut up when everyone remembered Cheon Inho. In the end, Yoo Joonghyuk merely had a scolding, but no penalties. Considering how Kim Dokja had a worldwide fanbase, they went all in to defend their idol’s boyfriend and how he defended the singer.

An interview started. It was Yoo Joonghyuk’s.

“Supreme King, were you not afraid of what could happen by punching Cheon ‘Kingpin’ Inho?” The male interviewer asked.

“No. I knew what could happen, and I did it anyway. Even if I was punished, I couldn’t care less.” This Yoo Joonghyuk still talked more than the one watching, but it was still a little.

“Supreme King, we noticed that you are often with your head on Kim Dokja-ssi’s neck. It seems to be your favourite spot. Is there a reason why?” This time, it was a female interviewer.

“Oh, because I like his scent.” The pro player replied. “There is this gentle mix of vanilla and strawberry that contrasts nicely with a hint of bitter cocoa with an undertone of cherry blossoms, like a spring morning. It is just so good.” 

He always had more words when it was about Kim Dokja.

“It seems nice.” The male interviewer commented just to be on the receiving end of Joonghyuk’s murderous glare.

“My, Supreme King, just as ■■■’s best friend said, you surely are an overprotective alpha addicted to his omega’s scent.” The female interviewer squealed, revealing more about herself than she should. She also made a reference to Kim Dokja’s best friend, a famous writer.

“Shouldn’t you be more professional?” Her partner playfully scolded her.

“I’m not casting right now; this is an interview. I can be biased here.” She defended herself.

“Oh my fucking god, even the interviewer agreed!” Han Sooyoung was cracking loudly.

Joongdok Fan Group — especially Uriel and Lee Jihye — were also squealing.

What is this alpha and omega thing, anyway?

“And that situation also inspired Kim Dokja-ssi to write ‘Spider-Man’, right?” The woman was obviously a fan of the couple.

“Indeed, why don’t we watch the MV together?” The man invited them.

Despite Kim Dokja singing the song, it started with Yoo Joonghyuk in a Spider-Man costume. He jumped from a rooftop to another. Until he found Kim Dokja being used as a hostage. The man’s eyes shone through the mask, and he quickly saved Kim Dokja’s character with his web.

I love to walk along the edge,

In a wild night chase, leaping rooftops overhead.

Then I saw you

In the hands of a runaway,

Surrounded by the sirens, he took you hostage away

Out on the ledges.

It was love at first sight,

I dove from where the skyline bites,

Saved you with my web—what a delight!

They call me Spider-Man,

Your hero!

The screen cut to Joonghyuk carrying groceries and doing fixes around the house. Then, he was taking care of a baby. No more fighting or saving, he had Kim Dokja on his web.

Now the hero carries groceries every day,

On the roof, fixing the TV antenna’s sway,

Up all night rocking babies to sleep,

No more crooks to chase or bullets to beat.

I’ve got an idea,

You in my web.

No more robberies to stop ahead,

Whether in Seoul or right here instead.

I had the big idea,

You in my web.

Now I’m right here in your hands,

Lost in your innocent, dangerous plans,

That went straight to my vein, yeah.

I’m caught in your web.

In the end, he revealed that he was the one caught by the web of Kim Dokja. 

“Supreme King, what do you think about it? Living a leisurely life with ■■■?” The man asked.

“I think it sounds like a dream. That would be my ■■■, for sure.” He chuckled. “A peaceful life with Dokja would be the best life I could ever ask for. I did promise him a big family as he always wanted.”

“Oh, my! We didn’t know you could be so romantic!” The woman teased with glee in her eyes. 

“It’s easy as long as you fall for the love of your life.” 

Both incarnations and constellations watched it with a smile on their face, a few laughed and teased Joonghyuk. It was like a fresh breath in the apocalypse.

“Master is really pining for Ahjussi…”

“Isn’t it mutual pining?” Uriel said. “Mutual Pining and Slow Burn. What a combo.”

Sooyoung raised an eyebrow at the archangel, “Three days of dating before treating each other as a married couple. You call that slow burn? Love at first sight might be better.”

“Oppa… you need to watch more romances if you…” Mia sighed, her shoulders slumped. “Well, pretty Ahjussi does seem to like you regardless…”

Joonghyuk ignored all the comments, but his tips were crimson red.

Then, another interview started. This time it was Kim Dokja’s.

“So, Kim Dokja-ssi, how long have you been with Yoo ‘Supreme King’ Joonghyuk?”

“It’s been six years.”

“Six years? Did you start dating in elementary school?”

“Yes, we did!” Dokja chuckled. “We were quite a stereotypical troupe: he was the captain of the soccer team, and I was the shy, bullied nerd.”

Both the interviewer and the audience made an “awnnn~!”

Later in the conversation, the interviewer asked, “Kim Dokja-ssi, as you said, many of your songs were composed based on Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi and your relationship with him. What was the oldest one?”

“I think it was that song I made for the movie, ‘The Fault in Our Stars’, Not About Angels.”

“Really?” The interviewer was surprised.

“Yes!” Dokja laughed a little. “I don’t have health issues, nor Hyukkie. But I wrote that song still thinking about him.” A smile was drawn on his face. “I’m not a religious person, but I always liked the image of angels. They are untouchable, and yet humans revere them. We can’t see them. We can’t touch them. They come and go as needed, saving others. They are like stories.” Dokja took a breath, thinking on the words to say. “As you all know, my childhood was quite… harsh. My mental health was a mess.” 

He looked down.

“I still remember when I was a child and realized the most painful thing… That in this world… my existence was not needed.”

All laughter from the viewers disappeared. Replaced by a solemn atmosphere. The Dokja now didn’t have Joonghyuk by his side; he only had his own nightmares. 

Some clenched their jaws, others bit their cheeks.

Even the stars refused to shine.

Kim Dokja did not move his gaze.

“I often thought that, if God ever existed, God should be such a helpless existence that could not even help a child. I mean… they say every life is precious, but when I needed the most, no one ever gave a fuck about mine.” His voice broke in the end as he remembered how they knew what his father did and always closed their eyes. “I often longed for a day when an angel would appear and give meaning to my existence, say that my life was, somehow, necessary. I hoped that, if I could catch an angel by their wings and tell them everything, beg them for anything, they would give me strength to stay.”

He bit his lower lip. Dokja’s hands were trembling as he looked down.

The idol took a deep breath, “I wanted to matter. Just once.” He confessed.

With a broken, tired voice, he said, “Not like a protagonist, of course.” Dokja tried to joke.

It didn’t work.

The interviewer closed her eyes as her hands cleaned her tears.

“We were already dating when I wrote that song. That’s why it’s ‘about angels’ at first, but it ends differently.” Dokja looked up. With his eyes half-opened, he gave the public a bittersweet smile. In the most kind way, it broke the hearts of anyone who looked. “He stayed.”

The interviewer’s eyes opened wide as she realized what Kim Dokja meant. She said nothing, just sobbed.

The sponsor then put the song on.

It was slow on a piano. Kim Dokja’s voice sounded slightly younger than in the interview. Those who could hold their tears broke in the last verse.

It’s not about, not about angels.

Absolute silence. No one said anything. Even the actual angels from Eden kept quiet, maybe out of guilt.

The fire lost its warmth, much like the wind forgot to breathe.

The regressor didn’t say anything, nor did his body language change. He only stared at the memory as if he felt the weight on his shoulders.

Incarnations and constellations had their hands white. No one looked away; they didn’t dare to. Some sobs could be heard while others cried silently.

‘Perhaps Kim Dokja’s lies were sweet because all his truths were bitter.’ They thought.

Back on the interview, Kim Dokja continued, “To me, Yoo Joonghyuk is everything I once thought only stories could give.” He smiled softly. “Every story follows a hero, right? Just as I said in that video, Yoo Joonghyuk is my hero. And he will forever be.”

It hurts.

He was called a hero. Kim Dokja looked at him with such an unwavering love that Joonghyuk, for a moment, wondered if he could ever be loved like that. ‘Has anyone ever been loved like that?’

After all, what has he done?

Threw him off a bridge. 

Left him handling monsters by himself.

Kept threatening him with death.

Let him die so many times.

Killed him.

And still expected him to come back.

Yoo Joonghyuk had to admit he was quite different from his… original self? But then, after the apocalypse, it was hard not to. He noticed that Dokja had been softer. Less guarded. ‘I wasn’t there. He has far more scars now.’

While everyone talked about him and Kim Dokja, he could not stop thinking about how he had been treating the man all this time in reality. How Joonghyuk only accepted that he needed Kim Dokja after the man was killed in the tenth scenario.

Why didn’t I try earlier?

The voices were muffled in his loud thoughts. His eyes hurt, but he didn’t notice that he forgot to blink.

Would I be able to be that Joonghyuk again? 

He shook his head. That was the wrong question.

That Joonghyuk had been decisive.

This one hesitated.

That Joonghyuk had protected him.

This one arrived too late.

Would Dokja accept this version of me instead of that one?

And if he did… would I deserve it?

Chapter Text

Space trembled around them.

They were in a circular area, with his sponsor in the middle, like a stage. The deity hovered slightly above the ground. The hem of its coat didn’t move. Not even gravity seemed willing to touch it. “It’s hard not to envy the characters in a fairy tale.” It said as images of Kim Dokja and his companions appeared behind him.

“Always turning fate on its head and getting their happily ever after.”

In the setting, Yoo Joonghyuk was wearing a black suit while Kim Dokja wore a white one.

For a heartbeat, it felt real.

The scent of the flowers was almost convincing.

Someone laughed in the distance.

Time stopped, and colours bled into shades of grey.

“These are tales where even lost souls can find their way back to the light.” Kim Namwoon, Na Bori, and 41st turn Shin Yoosung were there.

The colored scene of Kim Dokja’s suicide attempt replayed, but suddenly paused and lost its colours. A cartoonest magic wand appeared on his sponsor’s hand. It was a black wand with a golden star on the tip. And they swung as they said, “Where pain and misfortune can be cured with a simple wish.” Time was rewound, then resumed as the colours returned. Now, Yoo Joonghyuk was there to stop Dokja.

“And all the twists and turns become nothing more than a footnote on an otherwise perfect ending.” All those scenes disappeared, and the wedding began. All their friends were there. Some constellations were also there.

Mia and Biyoo brought the alliances. Lee Gilyoung was the page, and Shin Yoosung was the flower girl. Lee Hyunsung and Han Sooyoung were the best men, while Jung Heewon and Lee Seolhwa were the best maidens. Yoo Sangah was doing the ceremony.

They could faintly hear that Uriel was too excited to do the ceremony herself.

“But ‘Eternity’ is inevitable.”

The secrecy of those words lingered in the air.

No one understood their weight — not yet.

His sponsor flicked his fingers.

The air around them was colder.

It was a wedding.

But the universe disagreed.

The flowers still smelled good.

A bunch of men in dark clothing invaded the place with swords, making a ruckus in the local. Even the constellations staggered.

Their target? Kim Dokja.

The problem? Kim Dokja was losing consciousness and could not fight.

Yoo Joonghyuk tried his best…

…but his best was not enough.

Kim Dokja died.

The space flickered as if reality itself were water. The environment changed quickly, and they were in a dark room. Joonghyuk’s sponsor looked into a moonlit lake sadly.

With a single touch upon the waters, he disappeared into the realm.

He was in front of Yoo Joonghyuk, who cradled Kim Dokja’s dead body in his arms.

“But you, my child, born out of a boy’s selfish whim, why should your fate not transcend these pages?”

In a second, they returned to that black room.

“So, you wish to give him a different outcome?” A female voice echoed in the room.

“As long as I am still awake.”

“Don’t worry, Milord, we will all help.” A male voice reluctantly said.

“Daring indeed. But then again, the most worthwhile stories always are.” The youthful voice of a second woman said.

“Sponsor…” Yoo Joonghyuk called, “Who were those?”

“Darkness is my right hand, and Mist is my left one, while the Director of the Last Story is Kim Dokja’s best friend.” It explained. “They helped in giving you this chance.”

“Could you show me what really happened?” The regressor asked.

“Are you sure?” It was less of a question and more of a chance to back out.

“Yes.” He didn’t.

It was a beautiful spring day. The skies were clean and blue. Kim Dokja had turned twenty-one not long ago. He arranged to meet Joonghyuk to watch the cherry blossoms bloom, just as he did every year. The reader went out earlier than usual as he had bought something for the man.

He opened a small box, smiled sweetly, and whispered, “Hyuk-ah, I finally found my ■■■.” Dokja gazed lovingly at the contents of the box before hiding it. They were not able to peek.

Yoo Joonghyuk appeared a bit away from Kim Dokja, gathering strength to go. He took a small box from his pocket, opened it, closed it, put it back, and fixed himself. “I’m ready. Everything will be fine.” He muttered.

The wind carried the petals around him to Kim Dokja.

For a moment, the world felt unbearably gentle.

He walked towards his boyfriend, greeting him with a kiss. Joonghyuk offered his hand. The other took it. They walked and talked about small nothings, just enjoying the moment and watching the flowers. Yoo Joonghyuk watched Kim Dokja’s happy face more than the flowers, but that’s another point.

After some time, Kim Dokja said, “Yeobo… I think I finally realised Vienna will wait for me. I think I found my ■■■.” It made the taller man smile; dimples could be seen. It was then that the pro gamer took a deep breath and moved to stand on a knee when men in black appeared behind Kim Dokja with a knife. Joonghyuk stopped and quickly pulled Kim Dokja. 

He did his best to defend him, but a hit was coming from a blind spot. Kim Dokja threw himself into it, saving Yoo Joonghyuk at his own expense. The men vanished with a smirk.

“Dokja!”

Joonghyuk supported Dokja before the latter fell on the ground. Thanks to the fight and his abrupt movement, the small box fell open from his pocket.

Two engagement rings rolled out of it.

They glinted under the sun.

One stopped near his knee.

Kim Dokja didn’t see them.

Blood spread beneath him, bright against the pale petals.

The smaller man coughed blood. “It seems my story was always meant to end like this, Yoo Joonghyuk…”

“Don’t say that, Dokja!” He pleaded in despair as his vision blurred and his face was suddenly wet.

“Please… It’s too late for me, but try to save them.”

“Them?”

With trembling hands, Dokja picked a box and gave it to Yoo Joonghyuk. The man opened it, and his eyes widened at its content.

“This… This…” He choked up.

The petals stuck to the blood.

Then, everything turned around, and they could see what was inside the box: baby's shoes.

White.

Joonghyuk inhaled — and nothing came.

His throat burned.

“Congratulations, Yeobo, you are going to be a daddy!” Dokja said as blood fell from his mouth and eyes.

Yoo Joonghyuk stared at the shoes.

Something in them stared back at Joonghyuk.

Father.

The petals were still falling around them.

Nothing else moved.

“Kim Dokja… what is your ■■■?”

“I saw a huge house, you, a big family with our lovely children… A peaceful life, just enjoying our time together. That is my ■■■.” He coughed up more blood. “Yoo Joonghyuk, my hero, I love you.”

“Yeobo…” Joonghyuk pleaded for the other not to give up.

“Don’t worry, Hyukkie. I will always be with you, okay? You who saved me and loved me for who I am.” Dokja smiled weakly. “Though my life was a cold winter… the cherry blossoms were always prettier when you were with me. I’ll cherish these memories forever.”  His skin was too pale, too grey. His eyes widened weakly. “Maybe that’s what love does. So that a life, a person, a moment you need to keep, stays with you into eternity.”

“Please, Dokja, fight. We will find a way to…” 

It was too late.

There was no light in Kim Dokja’s eyes anymore.

The world did not end.

Perhaps it should.

The petals still fell on Kim Dokja’s hair.

It was then that a necklace Joonghyuk did not know he wore appeared. A voice in his head said, “If you ever have a wish, hold this pendant and make it.” Perhaps it was despair, but Yoo Joonghyuk did.

The pendant grew warm in his palm.

And that was the start of the Fool’s Journey.

With the cracking of the space, the watchers returned to the apocalypse. Sobbing and trembling. Yoo Joonghyuk was on his knees, looking at the floor.

“Your everything had lost his eternal tomorrow and wandered around eternally.” His sponsor said. “Along with you, who was unable to say goodbye or save him.”

“Sponsor…” He called. “What… What happened to the baby?” It was the only thing Dokja asked of him.

“I hid its soul in the first fable to exist. The cosmic grade fable.” It said. “It was the fable born when you first wished for your lover.” 

“While the soul is not there anymore, the fable still sees you as a parent.”

“Where is the soul?”

“Every time you use your stigma to regress, it adds a bit of chaos into the world to help things go differently.” It explained. “In the 41st regression, an error happened in the soul of ‘Shin Yoosung’. Your baby’s soul fused with that particular version of Yoosung.”

No one spoke. Some looked at the girl in question.

Shin Yoosung blinked in confusion.

“Because your baby would be considered an ‘outer god’ as you guys call it, it had the property to somehow pass such feelings to all other Yoosungs. That’s why she was often close to you and admired you. It was the information passed by the 41st.”

“But she…”

“She was reborn as a dokkaebi, indeed. But the soul is still your daughter’s. It’s not wrong to say that dokkaebi is your child with my little brother.”

Only silence remained in the group as they digested the information.

Did he lose their daughter as well? Even if Dokja were alive, how could he help him? What is this “Eternity” his sponsor spoke of? Could he ask his sponsor? After all, his sponsor changed fundamental laws of the univ…

Wait.

“Sponsor.” Yoo Joonghyuk called the constellation. “Who are you?”

The powerhouse in question merely raised an eyebrow at him, as if asking where did it come from?

“You said you changed the principles of the universe itself. How could you do that?” No one could fathom how much power one would need.

“I can understand that, to you, it might sound impossible. But to me, it’s no different than changing the furniture’s position in my own house.”

Wide eyes stared at the being, wondering if they got it right.

“I am the creator of the universe. I’m the True God.” It stated. “In the past, they called me the Supreme Lord and the Creator of All Things.”

No one laughed.

No one breathed.

Han Sooyoung’s lollipop fell on the ground.

Only now could they understand what it meant when talking about its story and meeting Yoo Joonghyuk. 

The hero stared at his sponsor in disbelief. The air felt thinner. “If you are so powerful, why can’t you just fix it yourself? Why do I need to go through all this?”

“It was your wish, child.”

“But—”

“My brother only wanted to die. For the end of his suffering. He only wanted to dream.” It did not wait for the regressor. “Which one should I prioritise?”

The man looked down, not knowing what to say.

“Based only on what I told you, you think I’m a sadist who enjoys your suffering, don’t you? You didn’t even think for a moment about the information I decided to keep.” The sponsor did not wait for the man’s response. It was true, after all. “Did you know that my little brother still thinks you do not see him as a companion?”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s mind and body froze. If this thought terrified him even before what his sponsor told him…

“And how could he? When you threw him into a tier seven beast during the first scenario, simply to test him. As if you couldn’t test him somewhere else.” Hardened eyes gazed on the human. “Must I remind you of all the death threats you gave him? He was there, killing himself for your happy ending once again, but what did you do?” It smiled at the man, and, after a brief pause, it concluded:

“After observing humans for so long… I realised something.” It smiled weakly. “It’s simply human nature to judge yourself by your intentions and judge others by their actions.”

Shame flickered across Yoo Joonghyuk’s face — and vanished.

He recently realised his feelings for Dokja; during those three days he spent by himself after the tenth scenario. 

When did it (re)start?

Around the fifth scenario, perhaps? 

Was that cosmic pull he feels, ever since the first day he laid his eyes on that bastard, a tug from his soul? Trying to remember him of long forgotten memories? 

Intentions are just intentions.

Your love means nothing if you don’t do shit with it.

He had loved.

He had also pushed his love into a tier seven beast.

Yoo Joonghyuk did something with it. He tried to ignore, suppress, and kill.

The group felt a pull as another memory was suddenly played.

It was right after Dokja died. Joonghyuk held him close to his chest. For the first time, he had something he wanted no matter the price. A miracle only a god could bestow, but he did not believe in gods.

The necklace hanging on his neck shone, and an unknown being appeared. Its silhouette was that of a human. But it was all white. Its body was weird. There were no muscles or bones. In fact, there was nothing but the whiteness of a sheet of paper.

Yoo Joonghyuk’s gaze went back to his lover.

“Are you here to kill me, too?” 

“No.” It said. “I’m here to give you a wish.”

“A wish?” The pro gamer finally looked up. “Are you God?”

The unknown being nodded.

“Can you revive him?”

“This child is a bit special…” It sighed.

“Aren’t you God?” The mortal scowled.

“And this child is my… little brother.” It almost sounded like he picked their relationship in the spot.

Joonghyuk’s reddened eyes widened.

“He also shut himself in. No one can enter.” ‘God’ explained. “An eternity only reading and sleeping, locked in the subway under a harsh winter.”

“Can’t I reach him?” The gamer’s yearning seeped through his voice.

‘God’ looked at him sadly.

“No. He is reading.”

“Then turn me into a story!” Yoo Joonghyuk exclaimed. “I will make sure he has no choice but to read me.”

“Are you sure about it?” 

The mortal nodded, his gaze filled with determination.

“Very well…” It sighed heavily. “Recall the memories you two have, imagine the story he would like to read. I will use that to rewrite everything.” Everything around them stopped. “It might take some time, but you will not feel it.”

It didn’t wait for Joonghyuk’s reply, almost as if it was in a hurry. 

Reality itself bent backwards. Time ran in opposite directions simultaneously. Space reverted.

In less than a blink, Yoo Joonghyuk found himself alone in the immensity of the universe. There was nothing around him. No galaxies, no stars, no planets. Only the barren cosmos as it was before the dawn of creation.

There was no sound.

No wind.

No memory of warmth.

He stepped forward, but didn’t move.

He missed the smell of Kim Dokja in his shirts after the smaller man borrowed them.

Joonghyuk thought about their time together—their laughter, their cries. He remembered smaller things.

Mia thinking they were her parents.

Dokja returning from the bookstore with two children and adoption papers.

The nights he read aloud until Dokja fell asleep.

When he promised Dokja a big, loving family.

He didn’t notice how he slowly got older in that timeless cosmos. Even his clothes changed to his gamer uniform.

Joonghyuk forgot the last time he ate his favourite ice cream.

There was no sensation of time.

There was no mirror to confirm it.

There was no one to call his name.

He missed the way Dokja would steal the blanket at night.

Yoo Joonghyuk had a great problem to defeat. ‘How can I, a story, contact my reader?’

Then, Joonghyuk remembered a conversation he had with Dokja a few years ago.

“Why are you so under the weather?” The hero asked. He was lying on the bed with the reader on his arms.

“What do you think it would be an author’s greatest regret?” Kim Dokja replied. His face snuggling against the curve of the other’s neck.

“Are you still thinking about ■■■’s interview?” The taller man looked at the other.

Yoo Joonghyuk sighed.

“I agree with her. It should be to leave a story unfinished, right?” It was the only thing he could think of. “Why? Is it different for you, my little reader?” Dokja felt the other’s lips on his forehead.

“Perhaps it is because I am a reader… or because the characters are always the most important to me…” He muttered.

Joonghyuk waited without minding the silence. He would be there if the smaller man wished to talk.

“In fairy tales, all it takes is a heartfelt wish, and even a wooden puppet can turn himself into a real boy... and live ‘happily ever after’... That's just how fairy tales end, isn't it? But, have you ever wondered what happens to the main character after the ‘ever after’?”

Kim Dokja sniffed, his throat closed.

“If I were a writer, my greatest regret would be the same as a reader.” He smiled weakly. “My greatest regret is that every story has to come to an end in the first place.”

Silence.

Joonghyuk did not interrupt.

Yoo Joonghyuk was surprised, but it sounded just like Dokja.

“No matter how brilliantly a character shines…” His fingers tightened in Joonghyk’s shirt. “... the moment their story ends, their potential is lost forever. For them, the story itself becomes an inescapable fate.” Kim Dokja’s eyes welled up.

“How are stories any different from reality?” He forced himself to say. “We are all the protagonists of our own lives, while the others are the secondary characters, the side characters, the villains. And yet, before being side characters in our lives, these people are the protagonists of their own, too. Everything depends on our perspective.” Dokja tightened his grip on his boyfriend’s body, as if its warmth was the only thing that could ground him in reality. “Just like the same man can’t swim on the same river twice, whenever I reread a story, it always becomes a different story. I can also see things I didn’t notice before. I can read it like the other characters were protagonists, too. Even the villains.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand drew circles on Kim Dokja’s lower back.

Of course, Kim Dokja would care about what the villains have to say—their backgrounds, their motivations, their triumphs. To Kim Dokja, the reader, their stories are important, too. All stories are.

The room stayed silent for a few moments.

A truly kind, loving soul. Someone who cares even about the smallest of side characters or the most cruel of enemies. Perhaps, Kim Dokja is the reader all stories yearn to have.

“All things we read can be destroyed by merely closing the book. Yet to the characters in the story, those things are no different than what reality is to us.” He said after some time.

Outside, a car passed.

“What happens after ‘The End’?” Dokja looked down. “Does time freeze since their author did not write that part? Or perhaps they return to the very start until a new reader appears, fated to repeat the same cycle for eternity?”

At this point, the smaller male was already sobbing. Yoo Joonghyuk caressed Dokja’s hair.

“I don’t know why, but this makes me so, so sad.” He clumsily wiped his tears with his pyjama’s sleeves. The blanket shifted. “Perhaps it was because it was one of the first fears I had as a child. I hated the moment where I had to see the people I had become friends with… travelled with… and had suffered with leave me behind when I would close the book I was reading.”

“It’s fine to be sensitive, Dokja.” Yoo Joonghyuk embraced the other tightly, but gently. “If anything, I’m here to protect you, my damsel in distress.” He flexed his muscles as he joked.

“Hmpf! I’m no damsel in distress!” Dokja protested. “But I guess I wouldn’t mind if it were you.”

Joonghyuk laughed. “Dokja-ya, you know you can depend on me, right?” He said softly, kissing the other’s forehead. “What would you do to fix the stories?”

“What about the things stories don’t tell us? What do the characters do when no one is reading? Do they resent their writer? Dokja took a deep breath. “I wish I could put the author’s pen in their hands and let them continue the stories themselves. I wish I could give all characters the power to write their own ending.”

“Why that? They would still end, no?”

“So that they can write and tell their own stories.” He chuckled. “Maybe when we can tell the stories, however bad they are, we don't belong to them anymore. They become ours. We don't have to just be a character, going whichever way the story says. It's knowing that you could be the author instead.” He paused. “I know that everything will end one day, but I hope that, if the characters can write their own end, they would end thinking that their story was worthwhile. Not for any author. Not for any reader, but to themselves.”

“Isn’t that too hard?” Joonghyuk buried his face on Dokja’s neck, kissing it gently.

“Not exactly…” Kim Dokja said. “Despite the countless stories out there, there is only a single real story told.”

Joonghyuk raised an eyebrow at the reader, urging him to speak more.

“Tarot cards.” Dokja gave Joonghyuk a fox-like smile. “It tells the greatest story ever told because it is the only story that’s ever been told. A story with an exposition, a mountain to climb, a challenge to overcome; a story of self-discovery, unexpected conflict, tragedy, victory, and a resolution.”

Dokja felt the other’s thumb caressing his skin.

“All stories are, in essence, the same.” He chuckled. “As long as I can give the pen to a single story, I can give it to all.”

“No other alternative?”

“Well, I guess you could have a never-ending story, too.” 

Joonghyuk thought for a while, then chuckled. “Then, maybe I would be an eternal story for you. I don’t think I would be a good protagonist, but it’s not like I want to be a best seller. I just need to have you as my only reader.”

“You would suffer a lot, y’know?”

“I don’t think that’s bad.”

Dokja looked at him with surprise.

“The ‘hero’ always gets a wish in the end, right? The more I suffer, the greater the wish I could ask.” 

“And what do you wish so badly that you need endless suffering?”

“I would wish for my only reader.” Yoo Joonghyuk pecked on his reader’s lips.

“I’m not worthy so much trouble.”

“I think it’s the opposite.” The gamer retorted. “I think that even all suffering in this world might not be enough.”

“Then how do you plan on wishing me?”

“Power of love?” He shrugged, pressing his face against Dokja’s hair. “Maybe I would be such a good story in your eyes that you would wish for me too. It should mitigate things, right? Or perhaps my ending would be so bad that you will wish to change it.”

“Joonghyuk…”

The protagonist cupped Kim Dokja’s cherub cheeks and looked at his eyes. “Dokja. There are a lot of things I want to do. I wanted to be a pro gamer, a CEO, a chef, an astronaut… I wanted to take you to a bunch of donut shops and ask for one of everything. And I wanted to tell the ice cream man to give us one of everything, too! I would not mind having countless lives in a neverending story. I could be born in countless world settings and in different towns. I could eat many lifetimes’ worth of food, and try so many different careers, and…” Joonghyuk united his forehead with Dokja’s. “I would still madly fall in love with you, in every single one of them.”

Before Dokja could retort, Joonghyuk took his boyfriend’s mouth for himself.

Yoo Joonghyuk slowly woke up in the lonely cosmos after remembering. He looked closer to twenty-eight years old than twenty-one. 

“Kim Dokja. I will be a neverending story for you.” He yelled into the nothingness.

The cosmos held its breath.

Suddenly small star appeared in front of him. As it began to burn, its light materialised Kim Dokja’s form.

“Dokja?”

The… soul? looked at him.

“Please, wait for me.” Joonghyuk somehow swam towards his lover. “Dokja-ya…” Joonghyuk cupped the star’s face with his hand. His thumb caressed the man’s cheek. “I love you.” He leaned forward.

Before Joonghyuk could seal their lips, a mechanical voice echoed in the nothingness.

He disappeared.

The screen’s light remained for a second longer.

After watching this memory, many had their hearts clenched and throats closing. Joonghyuk was so close, but so far.

“Hyung,” Gilyoung called the regressor’s sponsor, “if Dokja-hyung locked himself before… doesn’t it mean that he would return to wherever he is if he died? We wouldn’t be able to contact him anymore…”

Their breathing was interrupted by the realisation of the boy’s words.

“Indeed,” The sponsor nodded. “If he dies, it’s all over.”

The wind passed through them, cold.

Yoo Joonghyuk did not meet anyone’s eyes.

“Is he… is he alive?” Yoo Joonghyuk pleaded.

His sponsor raised an eyebrow. “You already asked your question, Joonghyuk.”

“You can ask me another before answering.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t have any more questions for you.” It gave Joongyhuk a forlorn smile. “And, as God, I cannot heavily favour you, can I?”

Joonghyuk bit his inner cheek until a metallic taste spread in his mouth. His eyes trembled.

‘God’ took a necklace from his pocket. The material was rare, dark yet bright, as if it were forged from entire nebulae. It was in the format of a cherry blossom. Each petal had a symbol and a small gemstone. 

The sponsor, with the necklace’s chain on his index finger, spun it around.

“But his new modifier is kinda interesting, right?” Fake Kim Dokja suddenly said.

All attention was redirected to him.

“Demon King of Salvation…” Uriel whispered. Everyone could hear it thanks to the silence. The archangel frowned, thinking “Demon King” is not good enough for Kim Dokja.

“I wonder how those in the Demon Realm would think about it…”

“What do you mean, sponsor?”

“Oh, just mumbles from an old god, don’t worry too much. Think of it as merely food for thought.” It chuckled. “But he does have ‘Demon King’ on it…” It frowned, as if deep in thought. “Now that I think about it… the Demon King Selection will start soon. It’s quite a grand story…”

‘But I doubt this story is grand enough on your eyes…’ Joonghyuk’s eyes widened in surprise as he realised what his sponsor was doing.

“Is Kim Dokja in the Demon Realm?”

Joonghyuk’s heartbeat was loud in his ears.

As soon as the regressor said those words, everyone’s eyes widened.

“I already told you I cannot tell you, Yoo Joonghyuk.” It ‘scolded’ its incarnation with the worst fake angry voice ever made. The constellation was not even trying. 

The protagonist, however, gave the other a real smile; his dimples appeared. His sponsor paused for a moment, his gaze saddening deeply. 

“Take it.” ‘God’ threw the necklace at him. “Wear it all the time. It will help you.”

“Thanks, sponsor!” The man was clearly in better spirits now.

The chain was cold when touching his skin.

Not just Joonghyuk, everyone else was in better spirits as well. Lee Hyunsung and Yoo Sangah were crying. Jung Heewon was preparing to give him a beating. Han Sooyoung only looked down. The children—Lee Jihye included—and Lee Seolhwa were happy. Uriel was sobbing.

As constellations and incarnations cheered up at the news, the Fake Kim Dokja looked at them with an unlucky, sad smile. His eyes were perturbed by guilt.

“Sponsor-oppa…” Mia called. “What is that censorship that appeared sometimes when talking about Ahjussi?”

“That’s his original modifier. The thing he never stopped searching for.” It explained. “Your brother used to say that Kim Dokja was his ■■■ to remember Dokja about his promise. Kim Dokja would say he was searching for his ■■■ as to say he was still looking for a reason to live.”

No one moved.

The air felt thinner.

If Kim Dokja was already bad there… imagine now when he didn’t have anyone there?

After some time, ‘God’ snapped its fingers and everything stopped. Only his incarnation—and a certain Outer God—remained.

“Sponsor?” He asked.

“You might have a few questions you would rather do in private; you can ask them now.”

“Does Kim Dokja know any of this?”

“No. He has no idea. You should keep it a secret and tell both incarnations and constellations to do the same.” Joonghyuk nodded. “Just combine a lie to tell. You can use me as well. That child has yet to realise he was spoiled from the start.” It chuckled.

“Spoiled?”

“Three Ways to Survive in a Ruined World, by tls123.” His sponsor said, “A web novel that started when he was fifteen. It was about a regressor who tried to reach the end of the apocalypse. It started with his third regression.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes widened in response. ‘You are his favourite story, after all.’

“That’s how Kim Dokja knows everything. He was the sole reader of that novel that spanned thirteen years and over three thousand chapters. It was because he found your story that he did not attempt suicide again. He yearned to know its end.” It took a deep breath. “On the day it all started was the day the epilogue would be released. He planned on ending his life after reading it.”

The words settled like ashes of a waking dream. Yoo Joonghyuk couldn’t feel his hands anymore, and yet his fingers dug into his palm.

The skin broke.

So, that was it.

It wasn’t Yoo Joonghyuk who saved him.

It was Joonghyuk’s story. The one Kim Dokja loved the most.

But to Kim Dokja, they were one and the same.

Joonghyuk’s knuckles went white.

“But he would never imagine he would have to live the epilogue, as well. The epilogue was his to make. The only reason he fought was to see the happy ending he wished for you, Joonghyuk.”

“That fool… can’t he realise that I need him so my ending can be happy?” He growled.

“We do things sometimes because we feel so much inside of us, and we don’t notice how it affects somebody else.” It was his sponsor’s response. “Be patient and blunt with him.”

Joonghyuk grunted, recognising he also had his faults.

“Why did it start by my third regression?” He asked.

His sponsor merely smiled, refusing to answer.

“Sponsor… what about…” There was discomfort in his voice.

“Lee Seolhwa?” It said bluntly, to which its incarnation nodded. “Asmodeus’ Curse.”

“What?”

“Asmodeus’ Curse works differently. It watches the cursed and gives them their greatest suffering. The curse affected your feelings and Seolhwa’s. Because of my protection, you were never totally under control.”

Joonghyuk remembered the way Seolhwa stared at him across the table. “That explained why sometimes she would look at me pained and ask if I really liked her…” He muttered in a battered breath.

“The real curse, however, was the child.” Joonghyuk’s eyes widened in surprise. “The child would be Asmodeus’ avatar. And, after forcing you to kill your own child, the demon would possess their body and kill you.”

His fingers twitched.

Yoo Joonghyuk looked down.

“But my protection interfered with that as well.” The man was surprised. “In fact, the two of you never had sex. Asmodeus merely altered your memories and used his own means to put a baby in Seolhwa. He was even happier that way, because you would believe it was yours all along. Asmodeus envisioned how he would tell the truth as he tortured you slowly before ending your life.”

Should I feel thankful for Anna Croft?

“In all your other regressions, the ones you didn’t kill her, you saw Seolhwa as a sister. No different from Mia. You found it disgusting to have to marry her. That was also how you felt in the original world, as well.” 

Yoo Joonghyuk nodded. He felt the same on this one. Perhaps not much since they were not as close. Apart from Kim Dokja, he was not really close to anyone.

As the man contemplated, his sponsor snapped its fingers again, freezing Joonghyuk.

The Fake Kim Dokja looked towards Secretive Plotter and walked towards him. With a wave of its hand, the Outer God’s face was revealed.

“So… how have you been, Puppet of the Most Ancient Dream?” ‘God’ said in a teasing tone, removing the seal and revealing that they were still sponsor and incarnation.

Secretive Plotter looked away in shame.

“Do you like the modifier I gave you?” It asked.

“You…”

“I was the one who transformed you into an Outer God and gave you the modifier. You didn’t want me to be your sponsor, so I hid our link.”

“Why?”

“I just want you to be happy, Yoo Joonghyuk.” It cupped the other’s face with his hands. His thumbs gently caressed the man’s skin. “Even if your happiness comes from hating me.”

“...”

‘God’ noticed the scar on the other’s face and brushed it gently with his finger. His eyes were down. It opened its mouth, but closed before it could ask. It put some distance between them.

Secretive Plotter’s face still had the scar.

“This is not much, but…” With a wave of its hand, a huge amount of probability was concentrated. “This can purify Outer Gods and help them live as before. I believe you could use it in N’gai Forest.”

A beautiful pearl-like tear appeared in front of the man who still had his scar.

“Thanks… sponsor…” Secretive Plotter said softly. The words were weird in his tongue.

The Fake Kim Dokja chuckled and returned to Yoo Joonghyuk, resuming time.

“One last question, sponsor. Did you truly help me just because of the past? That’s why I was a sponsorless incarnation on the 0th turn?”

“But of course. Do you really think you could live with that bomb in the subway without knowing anything?” It rolled its eyes.

It was only then that Yoo Joonghyuk noticed the inconsistency. In the original turn, he would not have knowledge or power. How could he survive the bomb? He only looked down in shame.

“It’s time for me to return, Yoo Joonghyuk.” His sponsor levitated. “I hope you can find the ending you are looking for.” It said with an unlucky smile.

‘God’ unleashed some of his power as it walked towards Joonghyuk, hugging him. The man could not see, but there was a clone who copied ‘God’s every move with Secretive Plotter.

“It’s fine if you don’t forgive me, Joonghyuk.” The sponsor’s voice was cracking as Fake Kim Dokja’s body trembled. 

The hug was broken.

Yoo Joonghyuk—and Secretive Plotter—could see how their sponsor was sobbing.

“My last gift to you is a few memories of the life you once lived. They would come in a dream.” It kissed the man’s forehead. The clone did the same with the Outer God.

“Sponsor…” Joonghyuk didn’t have enough courage to ask why it was crying. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Yes.”

“What?” Joonghyuk was almost hopeful he would be able to give back something to his sponsor.

Petals from cherry trees fell on his sponsor’s hair.

They passed through him.

“Please… forget me.” ‘God’ beamed him a smile.

Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t answer.

He couldn’t.

For some reason, his throat hurt.

‘Why should I forget you, sponsor? Like how you asked me to forget Dokja?’ There was something deeply disturbing in his heart as he saw his sponsor in that situation. ‘Why do I feel like Kim Dokja’s appearance suits you perfectly, sponsor?’

His sponsor dissolved into word fragments as time resumed. The small star in the sky was fading, as if it were about to sleep.

“Where is your sponsor, Oppa?” 

“Oh, they had something to do and went back,” Joonghyuk replied.

They decided to focus on the good news before the constellations returned to wherever they live. Joonghyuk could not shake those feelings. Yoo Joonghyuk decided to create a lie with the others, as his sponsor advised.

Under the veil of the night, a Fake Kim Dokja watched Joonghyuk and his group preparing to sleep. No one could notice it. “Since I still have some time left, I might as well stay and read the next chapters.” It chuckled.

‘God’ looked at Yoo Joonghyuk with a forlorn gaze. It remembered Joonghyuk’s dimpled smile. “It’s been so long since I saw your real smile… I still feel bad for taking it away from you.” It confessed. The campfire cracked in the distance. No one noticed the star above them shrouded under the darkest part of the night sky.

The mysterious sponsor waved his hand, and a mirror formed in the air. He traced the reflection as if it might disappear. “My real face… It’s been so long… is this really me?”