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No, no, no, no, no!!!
Jason was in a panic. Today was supposed to be normal. Today was supposed to be a good day. He wasn’t supposed to need his cane today of all days. But his hip was rolling wrong and every time he tried to walk without help, the pain shot all the way up through his spine to his skull.
Fuck!! NOT TODAY!!
He wasn’t supposed to be broken today of all days!
In less than four hours, he was supposed to kiss you infront of every person he knew and somewhat tolerated and become yours. And he didn’t want to do it with a fucking cane holding him up. Or worse. In a damned wheelchair.
“Jaybird?” Dick knocked, “Are you dressed yet? B’s asking if you need a ride to the venue or-”
“I’ll get there myself!!” He shouted back, then cursed himself for being impatient.
“Jason?” Dick pushed the door open, “Hey, where are y- Oh-” He looked at Jason sitting on the bed, taking heavy breaths, a sheet of sweat on his forehead and his cane in his hands as he was trying to force himself to stand. “Pain day?”
“Pain day.” Jason simply repeated.
“Okay- Well- I can bring you your meds and maybe some morphine and-” Dick closed the door and was pacing to brainstorm.
“Can’t. They make me sleepy and call me sentimental but I wanna remember my own damn wedding.” Jason sighed, rubbing his hand over his face, wiping away the sweat.
“Father is asking-” Damian entered without knocking, “Oh-”
“Don’t you fucking knock?!” Jason shot at him.
Dick patted Damian’s shoulder. Signalling him to not fight Jason right now. Damian’s gaze narrowed and his lips turned into a thin line but he didn’t utter a single word.
“I need to just … walk it off.” Jason sighed, his breath still slightly laboured. “I can’t do this to her. Not today of all days- Not-” He swallowed, “The pictures- Our dance-”
“She’s not going to mind, Jay.” Dick reasoned, “She’s seen you and taken care of you at your worst. She won’t mind a cane in the pictures.”
“How am I supposed to dance with my hip rolling out? I know if I stretch, I’ll dislocate my shoulder. I was supposed to dip her for the pictures!” Jason was too close to sobbing right now.
Dick sent Damian away to let the others know and took a seat next to Jason.
“Hey- She’ll be fine with it all. She’s happy to marry you. In whatever manner possible.” Dick rubbed Jason’s back to help soothe the pain a little.
“That’s the problem, Dickhead.” Jason sighed, “She’ll smile and kiss me and say it’s okay. But she deserves more than okay. She deserves perfect and-”
“Not to pile on, but do you think perfect was ever gonna happen? With you?” Dick smirked.
“Low blow, man.” Jason pouted, looking away.
“Accurate blow.” He corrected. “Look- Just- I’ll help you get to the venue and we’ll see from there. Okay?”
“I- Do you think I could see her before the ceremony to delay and-” Jason stared and instantly earned a glare from Dick.
“You want to delay her dream wedding?” He asked, Jason shook his head. “And besides. Bad luck to see the bride before the wedding.”
Getting to the venue was the easy part, honestly. Trying to convince Jason to actually use his cane and keep the wheelchair on standby if needed was the hard part.
Tim was explaining everything to Roy and Kyle when Dick brought Jason to the groom’s suite. The voices carried before them.
“No- I don’t need a fucking chair. I can walk!” Jason’s hissed voice echoed in the hallway as he held his cane and the wall, limping the long distance to the suite.
“Hey- Woah!” Roy stepped forward. “Gonna need you to turn it down about 4 notches. What happened?” He looked to Dick.
“Pain day.” He simply said.
Roy nodded and took over for Dick. “Come on, Big Guy. Let’s get you to-”
“I’m fine! I don’t need to sit!” Jason snapped.
“I’m not telling you to sit-” Roy spoke quickly. “Just- Just don’t trip. A blackeye on wedding day isn’t a good look.” He tried to lighten the mood.
“Yeah and this is?” Jason glared and sat infront of the vanity with a pained groan. His hands were tight around the cane, leaning forward on it, trying to keep his breathing calm and even.
He looked around the room, taking in the sights. The soft colours, the bouquets and in the corner, a folded wheelchair that was trying its best to not exist.
Dick came back with a glass and some pills. “Here. Drink this. It’s over-the-counter shit. No sleepiness, I promise.”
Jason gave him a weary look and took a pills.
“Be honest,” Kyle knelt down, “How bad is it?”
Jason looked at Dick, then Roy, then the bottom of the glass in his hands. “It’s getting worse.”
“Okay- Okay- It’s we- we adapt.” Roy started to problem-solve.
Dick nodded, “We can shorten the aisle and keep a stool near the altar. Wheelchair stays close by and-”
“No.” Jason shook his head.
“Jay-” Kyle started but he cut him off.
“I said no.” Jason repeated. “I’m not turning my wedding into a medical contingency.” Before either could say anything more, he spoke again. Softer this time. “Can I just- Can I have a minute alone? Please. I don’t- I don’t any of this right now. Just let me be by myself for a minute.”
“Fine but we’re right outside and yell if you need anything, okay?” Kyle told him.
Once Jason had nodded, they all left. He leaned back into the comfortable chair and took a deep breath. That alone made his ribs ache.
He kept glancing at his watch. He still had time. A little over an hour until he was supposed to walk down the aisle. Hopefully, walk and not roll himself down.
A few moments into his spiral, there was a knock.
“I don’t wanna see anyone-” Jason said loudly but still, he heard the door open. He squeezed his eyes shut and cradled his head.
“Well, good thing I’m not anyone.” You voice came and clapped his hands over his eyes.
“Jesus, what are you doing here?! I can’t see you before-” He panicked, keeping his eyes shut when he felt your hand on his shoulder and quieted down.
“Damian told me.” You said softly. “How bad is it?”
“Bad.” He sighed and leaned to your touch. “It’s real bad. I’m sorry- Fuck- I’m so, so sorry-”
“Don’t. It’s not your fault. We’ll change a few things and it’ll be fine and-” You tried to reassure him but he shook his head and opened his eyes.
For a moment, there was just silence. His eyes were wide and his breath was caught. You looked beautiful and of all the people in the world, you were here, comforting him on your wedding day.
“Fuck-” He exhaled. “Shit. Sorry- I shouldn’t have looked and-” He turned away but instead of not looking, his eyes were glued to the mirror infront of him to look at you.
You gave him a bright smile. “I look good, huh?” You laughed, earning a lopsided smile from him and a nod. Like he’d forgotten all words.
“I can’t believe you wanna marry someone like me.” He said softly, tugging at your hand to bring you around. You leaned back against the vanity. “It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Any of this.” He held both your hands. “I was supposed to dip you, dance with you, carry you to the car afterwards and then through the threshold like an absolute caveman. I wasn’t-” He sighed again. “I wasn’t supposed to be broken, babe. Not today.”
“You aren’t broken. You’re just having a bad pain day.” You spoke gently, cupping his face. His eyes fluttered closed at the contact.
“Feels like it's the same thing.” He mumbled, he looked up at you. Eyes watery, redrimmed. “I’m scared.” He whispered. “That you’ll look back on today and all you’ll feel would be regret because I couldn’t even stand to wait for you at the end of the aisle.”
“Babe. I’ve seen you torn up and stitched back, I’ve seen you drugged, hurt, shot and so much more. And every time I’m in awe of how you keep coming out of it and how you keep going back for more.” You explained to him. “I don’t care if you have a cane, can’t walk down the aisle or if you’re in your wheelchair. I’m marrying you. All of you.”
“I just wanted to be normal for once.” His lips trembled a little.
“I think that was never gonna happen for us.” You giggled and even he gave you a watery smile.
Nothing about your relationship was normal or conventional. From the way you’d met, dated, the way he’d proposed and finally now this. There were supers and aliens and heroes outside pretending to be humans with your family.
Normal was never in the cards to begin with.
“Just.. Just promise that when I walk down the aisle, you’ll be waiting at the end?” You asked softly, “I don’t care if you’re standing, using a cane, or in your wheelchair. I just want you there.”
“I really wanted to give you the day of your dreams.” He smiled sadly.
“Will you say I do?” You asked and he nodded an obviously. “Then that’s all I need-”
“But the dance? The threshold?” He whined.
“You can lean on your cane and we can just sway or I can sit in your lap and you can twirl us around in the wheelchair.” You offered easily. “And you have all your life to keep carrying me over the threshold.”
“Hey! Time check!” Roy popped his in. “We’ve got 15 minutes-”
You nodded and he left. “I love you. I have loved you. I will always love you.” You kissed his cheek and wiped off the little lipstick smudge. “And you better be at the end of that aisle.”
“Cross my heart.” He kissed your palms.
The groomsmen entered first. Dick and Kyle, then Roy as the bestman. Jason watched them walk easily down the walkway that seemed too long right now. It wasn’t that they didn’t have their own problems. They did. But it was never like this. Never this… debilitating.
Jason took a few deep breaths and his hand tightened over his cane and he took small measured steps. He didn’t dare to look at the guests in case anyone pitied him. He kept his eyes focused on Alfred who he’d picked to be the officiant.
He wobbled a few times and Bruce had to physically hold himself back to not help his son. Damian held his hand to keep him calm and not rush to Jason’s side. It took a while longer but he made it to the end of the aisle. Roy patted Jason’s back gently and leaned in to whisper. “We’ve got a chair if you need it, okay?”
Jason nodded but even though his hip was starting to burn, he really didn’t want to use it.
Lian walked in as the flower girl, then one of your little nephews as the ring bear. Then the bridesmaids. After the maid of honour came, she signalled someone and two chairs were set up infront of Alfred, facing one another.
Jason glared at Roy but he quickly shook his head that this wasn’t any of them.
He sighed and turned to the entrance again. The soft music began to play and he leaned on the cane with both hands. His knuckles almost white with how hard he was holding on. He’d already seen you but seeing you again, specially like this. Finally walking towards him, to marry him-
You smiled at him like he was everything good and right in this world. Walking up to him to say yes to him.
You reached the end and the maid of honour took your flowers, whereas Jason had his hand outstretched to take yours in his. You beamed at him and gave his hand a light squeeze. You could see he was struggling, his forehead shining with sweat and him taking small puffs of breath.
“I’m okay, I promise. I don’t need t-” He whispered but you gave him a look and he sank into the seat immediately. His joints thanked him instantly.
Your maid of honour helped you sit in your chair too, fixing your dress for you.
“Dearly beloved-” Alfred began once both of you were settled and so were the guests.
Jason didn’t hear the rest until Alfred took his name.
“Your vows, son.” He said softly.
Jason swallowed hard, then turned to you. “I- Yeah-” He laughed nervously and held both your hands, squeezing them for reassurance. “I- I’ve never been a speech guy-” He smiled, “Definitely didn’t think I’d be saying my vows sitting down but life’s got jokes, I guess.” He continued.
He exhaled and looked at you as if the rest of the hall didn’t exist. He took your name like a prayer, then began. “Loving you was the easiest thing I ever did. It was easier than breathing, it was easier than walking but looking at me, those things can get hard too sometimes.” He chuckled, “But- You saw me and you took me as I am. You didn’t want less complicated, you didn’t want quieter or something that I couldn’t give you- But honestly, if you had asked, I would have given you anything- Even quiet and uncomplicated.” He added, earning a small laugh from you.
He took another breath. “You showed me that it’s okay to sit down when my body doesn’t agree with me, that I’m not just my pain- That you will love me when I tell dumb jokes or when I bring home another stray that Damian ends up stealing from us-” Damian gasped from the crowd and tutted, making everyone laugh.
Jason smiled at the sound of the laughter. His thumb brushed over your knuckles, grounding himself.
“And you taught me,” He spoke softly, “That needing help didn’t make me weak. That letting someone see me on my worst days doesn’t mean they’ll leave.” He exhaled and laughed again as his voice started to shake. “Jesus- Sorry-” He swallowed, “Okay- I- I- Hold on, folks, I just need a moment-” He sniffed and smiled, looking at you.
“I spent most of my life thinking that love was something I had to earn by being useful.” He continued carefully. “That I had to be strong. That I couldn’t break. But you loved me even when I couldn’t stand. Literally.”
A few soft chuckles rippled through the hall again.
“You loved me when I was scared, when I was hurting so bad I couldn’t look at myself without feeling like a disappointment.” His grip on your hands tightened a little. “And you never once treated me like I was a burden.” You smiled through the tears and his eyes glistened too. “So I promise you this,” He said firmly. “I promise to sit when I need to. To lean on you when I’m struggling. To let you take care of me the same way I’ll spend the rest of my life taking care of you.”
He glanced briefly at the cane resting beside his chair, then back at you.
“I promise to walk with you on the good days, crawl if I have to on the bad ones and if someday I can’t move at all?” His voice dropped, as if he meant to speak only to you. “Then I’ll lay there, loving you, and doing my best to be good enough to be loved by you.” He gave you his best smile but tears slipped down his cheeks now and he tried to laugh them off.
“You’re my home, sweetheart-” He said softly and leaned forward to kiss you. Even you leaned forward to kiss him and only stopped shy of almost when Alfred cleared his throat for a not yet.
Both of you pulled apart with a shy laugh and the guests were amused too.
“Sorry-” Jason shook his head.
You spoke your vows, end of which, Jason was actively crying and wiping his tears and trying his best to not let the snot ruin wedding pictures. His handkerchief was completely damp now and Roy was handing him tissue after tissue.
He was absolutely not the scourge of Gotham at the moment. He was just a boy so in love that he physically couldn’t contain it in himself anymore.
“I’m sorry- I’m sorry-” He kept mumbling as the tears fell freely and he cleaned his face multiple times.
By the end of your vows, even the crowd was quiet and almost everyone was dabbing at their eyes. After Jason, Bruce was the worst. He wasn’t outright bawling but he was sobbing silently. Someone loved his baby boy as much as he did and his heart couldn’t be more full for it.
When Alfred finally said, you may kiss the bride, Jason choked up and cupped your face with both his hands and kissed you. Pouring out all his love into it.
“Dude-” Roy coughed to make sure that Jason didn’t start to just makeout right then and there infront of everyone.
“My wife-” He whispered, pulling away, his green eyes shining bright.
“My husband.” You smiled back at him.
Everyone cheered and clapped but when he tried to stand, he wobbled again. Thankfully, Roy caught him and made sure he had his cane.
“Wheelchair?” He offered.
“Not unless you want your teeth kicked in.” Jason mumbled and you took his arm.
“I’ve got this but we’ll take the chair at the reception.” You said, then gave Jason a look. “Right?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He nodded and the two of you walked down the aisle with petals falling from above and pictures being taken.
The reception itself was lovely as could be. Pastel colours, flowers everywhere, everyone dressed to the nines-
As it got closer to the first dance, Jason began to panic internally. The pain eased if he was sitting, but to stand and sway, he wasn’t sure if he could-
“Remember. You sit in your chair and we’ll just-” You started but he shook his head.
“The only way I’m sitting in that damn chair is if you’re in my lap. You’re not pushing me for our dance.” Jason said firmly.
So, here you were. Arms around his shoulders, dress draped over his lap and his hands tightly holding the wheels.
“I love you. So much.” He
And the speeches. The speeches took a very long while. Bruce kept crying during his, Diana’s was smooth but even her voice wavered quite a bit. Clark talked about little Jason a lot and Barry made a compilation of all the pictures you and Jason had. Some surprised even you because you had no idea who’d taken them.
By the time it was Roy’s speech, everyone was already softened up and could easily cry at a moment’s notice.
So, when he began with the words, “When I first met you, you were Dick’s snotty baby brother- I never knew that you’d become my brother too-” There wasn’t a dry eye in the entire hall.
Soon enough, dinner was served and you and Jason had a moment of quiet to yourself as you ate.
He leaned over to whisper, “Are you happy?”
You gave him a weird look. “Obviously, idiot. What do you eve-”
“I mean-” He cut you off, “With how everything panned out. Not exactly what we’d planned or imagined.”
“It’s everything I imagined. You know why?” You smiled and he shook his head. “Because at the end of it all, we’re married, and we got to share it with all our loved ones and that’s all that matters.”