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I have regretted it ever since it happened. I regret it still, to this day. A day hasn’t gone by where I haven’t thought about joining you. Issac, Seymour, Benjamin, and Miss Millenium. And Bobby. And Caldwell. They say that love is blind, and I presumed that is what had happened with Caldwell. I guess it happened once more for Hope, my own daughter. I hated Caldwell so much. I’d never been one to blindly follow someone, even one I had birthed myself. I don’t know why this time was so damn different. I don’t know why I took it out on you.
I willingly participated in the murder of my son. I was the sole murderer of my son-in-law. I’m so sorry, Isaac. I’m so sorry, Seymour. Poor Benjamin, I know you were afraid of us before we even found you. All you did was do your job. That’s all. Sally and Hope are difficult to forgive for the murder of the one man in all of Urine Good Company that did nothing wrong other than work for Caldwell.
Isaac, how did you feel getting rejected by the one you loved? Only to see your mother come up behind you? Your brother? One you consider almost a child of yours? Was there comfort before you were slaughtered for a rebellion against you?
Seymour, all you wanted was to leave. That’s all. You acted odd to some, but that was the extent. You never participated hands on. I did. I put my hands on you and threw you to the ground. They finished you off, but I was at fault. I had time. I could have helped you. I could have helped Miss Millenium. All she wanted was to leave as well. Miss Millenium, I understand we did not interact on a regular basis, but you didn’t deserve to be killed either. You worked so hard. You deserved that final Rio escape, as did Seymour. I’m so sorry to you both.
Bobby, you helped so many. More than you know. You died before you could ever see that they lived. All the rebels, they’re alive, Bobby. You’ll never know. I promise, they’re okay. That heart. The heart in the sky. I see it. I know it now, that it’s more than the sun. I can face it and not look away. I see you. It’s your heart, isn’t it, Bobby? You never knew. Your heart was never too small, it’s the sun. You cared so much. For the rebels, for Hope. Hope is taking care of the rebels. I see you in her. I see you in the sun.
Caldwell. I have nothing to say for you other than you know what you did. You knew the outcome of our town. You knew everything. Except your own fate. In all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you afraid. I am not entirely convinced I saw it as the rebels took you away. It was a flicker in your gaze. Where were you looking? At me? At the rebels? It was a flicker. Of fear, of sadness, of acceptance? I will only now process that I will never receive your answer. I will not admit to missing you. But I can tell everyone who saw me at that moment knows. I will not admit it.
“How do you live with yourself?” Ryder once asked me.
By imagining a time where I don’t.
“Mom! Mom, are you even listening?”
I jolted my head up, sitting at the chair at the opposite end of Caldwell’s desk from Hope. I admit, I was not listening. I was lost in thought. It had been a week since.. Everything. I have not processed all the events that occurred that fateful day.
But I quickly pulled myself together to spit out, “Yes- yes, Hope darling.”
Hope grinned, resting her arms on the desk of her “dearly” departed father. She clasped her hands together and began to ramble once more about how happy the people are. How can she be so happy? So gleeful? I rubbed my temples in exasperation.
“Everyone can now pee at will whenever they like, with whomever they like–”
“–in whatever location they like, yes, yes. But what’s going to happen about your father’s water consumption study-”
“My father was a tyrannical dictator who was oppressing us all. We do not speak of Caldwell anymore. You know this better than anyone, mother.” The last word was added with a bitter tone that made me suddenly very interested in the straps of my waders.
Ryder McQueen–who had been anxiously standing in the corner the whole conversation thus far–stepped forward, up to the desk. He put one hand on the back of my chair and the other on the desk.
“She has a point, Hope. We’ve brought up the water consumption study several times. You need to stop dismissing everything that doesn’t benefit you, or this will not pan out–” He began, but Hope slammed her hand on the desk and stood up. She was much shorter than Ryder (by at least 4 inches), but her presence made him shrink a little bit.
“McQueen!”
Ryder looked down at the ground.
“If you refuse to support what I’m doing with UGC, you may leave.” She spoke in a passive-aggressive tone with a big, exaggerated smile. If gazes could kill, Ryder’s heart would have stopped at the mere mention of his name.
He thought about it for a moment. He looked up at Hope, straightening up momentarily.
“Well, then. I had best be going.”
He shot a quick glance to me, which I returned to nonverbally tell him we could speak later when Hope was elsewhere. He gave a short nod and turned on his heels to leave.
Hope stared daggers into his back as he left, before slowly sitting back down once he was out of her line of vision. I watched in his direction for a couple seconds after he left until Hope cleared her throat. I snapped back around, crossing my legs.
“You were saying, Hope?”
“And this piece of paper grants Amenity #9 the first of our, eh… entirely legal fee hikes, to be honored and enjoyed by the public! Now, finding lasting solutions to this awful drought is incredibly expensive. So, with the new money you all pay, we look forward to going to Rio with- I mean… we look forward to finding lasting solutions… and… things like that. Good luck, Ms. Pennywise! See you at Rio- Urine Good Company..!” I facepalmed as Mr. McQueen awkwardly gave his speech to explain the new fee hikes which would be ‘awarded’ to us.
I facepalmed and shooed him off, watching him scramble away from the amenity.
“C’mon, Ms. Pennywise, it’ll be off to Urinetown for us all if you do this!” Tiny Tom complained.
“It’ll be Urinetown for me if I don’t. Now, run along,” I instructed.
Bobby stood leaning on the amenity, staring at his feet. The less financially fortunate citizens stood in a line to give him and I money, some shoving each other, some asking for any spare change. Bobby shot a glare in my direction, one I returned back.
I rolled my eyes and beckoned him with my finger, “Oh, get the hell over here.”
The almost anxious Bobby Strong’s defiant gaze didn’t waver as he walked over to me, which shook me a little bit. Nevertheless, I straightened up to make myself seem taller, when I was actually a bit shorter than him.
“Bobby.” I said in a straight tone.
“Ms. Pennywise.” He shot back in the same tone and same pitch.
We stared at each other for at least five seconds until we were cut off.
“Ms. Pennywise..? Bobby..? Can I just go to the bathroom, please?”
I peered around Bobby’s side to look at Little Sally, an eight year old little girl. I didn’t remember the last time she’s been able to use my amenity, but it’s sure been a while.
“You got the cash, Little Sally?” I cocked an eyebrow up, extending my arm for her to put the money in my hand.
Sally nodded, her ears going red. She was not being truthful.
“You lyin’?” I asked, stern but not unkind.
Sally sighed and walked to the back of the line, “236… 237…”
I turned back to Bobby.
“I’m not allowed to mourn my father anymore, Ms. Pennywise?” Bobby muttered, crossing his arms across his chest.
I pointed my finger up at him, poking him in the forehead in an attempt to take him down a peg or two, “Don’t play dumb with me. Who ya been talking to, Bobby Strong?”
“All I’ve done is think about my father. That’s all I’ve done.”
“Bullshit.” I narrowed my eyes at him, putting my arm back by my side.
I shoved two rubber gloves into his hands.
“Put these on. Let’s get to work.” I began walking off to my little table beside the amenity, putting some money from earlier in the box sitting atop it.
Bobby stared at the gloves in his hands, then at the line of poor people, all squirming to get into the amenity, waiting for an attendant to please just take their damn money already. He looked at his mom, cane in her hand, waiting more patiently than the rest. She had been silently grieving her husband since the events of yesterday. No one dared.. No, no one cared to comfort her, because she didn’t seem to need it. Josephine Strong never seemed to need any help, so no one started now.
Bobby turned back to me, “I been thinkin’, Ms. Pennwise.”
I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, breathing in through my nose to prevent screaming. Of course he’s been thinking. I exaggeratedly smiled as I slammed my fist on the table and turned my head to face him.
“Really now?”
Bobby nodded, bouncing his hand with the gloves in it.
“Yeah… yeah, I have. I’ve been thinkin’ about what happened to my father. And what’s happening to all of us,” He gestured to the crowd.
He realized his job and began counting and taking people’s money, or more commonly, having to refuse them.
“Your father broke the law yesterday. That’s the end of it.”
Bobby stopped a woman named Soupy Sue from paying. She, confused, put her money back in her pocket. He slowly turned to me.
“What if the law is wrong?” He protested.
A hush fell over the line of people, sending shivers down my spine.
“Wh- what did you just say?” I retorted, trying to sound confident.
“I said..” he took a step towards me, “What if the law is wrong? What if everything–UGC, the amenities, you and I–is wrong?”
I felt.. Almost hurt when he said “you and I.” I do not know why. I swore to myself, Bobby was nothing more to me than a coworker. Not even a coworker, he worked for me.
I swallowed my upset and pointed at him, causing him to flinch a little bit back, “Wrong? You have a sweet looking head Bobby. Sweeter than I’ve seen in years! You waste it day after day when you keep it up there!” I pointed up which caused Bobby to look up, so I grabbed his chin to look back down at me, “You hear me? Get your head out of the clouds, Bobby. Get it out of the clouds!”
He jerked away from my hand, glaring at me. He walked off to mop up a puddle by the amenity, grumbling to himself. Something about the sky… or his heart.
“Now,” I called out, “Who’s next?”
“I am.”
I heard the light voice of Josephine Strong herself, clutching a few crumpled dollars in one hand and a large amount of coins in the other.
Bobby put his hand out to stop her, “Ma!-”
I pushed him aside–not with force and not nearly enough to hurt him–and cast him a warning glance. I extended my arm to her for her to put the money in.
“We’ll take the improved fee, Mrs. Strong,” I waited for the money, as Bobby looked anxiously in between us both.
Hot Blades Harry, one of the more aggressive and loose cannon-like poor people, handed Josephine what looked like an acorn. I stared at him disappointedly and he took the acorn back.
“This.. this is all I have today, Ms. Pennywise..” Josephine’s hands shook as she handed me her money.
I could see the fear in her eyes that she would meet her husband if she tried to hand me the money she had.
“I’m afraid this won’t cut it, Mrs. Strong,” I sighed, eyes softening with empathy a little bit as I handed back her money.
“Ms. Pennywise-”
“You hold onto that money, ma.” Bobby cut in, stepping in between me and his mother.
Josephine, taken by surprise, stumbled into Harry, who made a sound of panic as he set her back on her feet.
“The fee is the law, Bobby. She will abide by it or…” I trailed off, noticing how scared Josephine looked earlier about the concept of ‘joining her husband’, so I skipped saying that part and went straight back to, “...she’s going to follow the law. And you will too.”
“What if there was a new law in town, Ms. Pennywise? One that didn’t come from any voting process.. Or elected body.. Or process of judicial review. A new law that came from an organ. A muscular organ. Like this one…” he pointed to his chest, “Or this one,” he pointed to my chest.
I looked at his chest and then to mine as he pointed at both, respectively.
“A muscular organ?” I spoke monotonous, not quite enthused at the commotion he was causing.
“Can’t you see ‘em, Ms. Pennwise? What about this one, right here!” He yelled, pointing directly at the sun.
Like a fool, of course, I turned to look. My vision exploded into several different colors until I couldn’t see at all.
“It’s blinding me-!” I screamed, covering my eyes.
“There’s a great big heart up there! In the sky! So you see, Ms. Pennywise, I will NOT get my head out of the clouds, I won’t stop looking at that big, beautiful heart in the sky!” Bobby vowed.
“Bobby.. What’s to become of you? What’s to become of any of us?” I ran off, still covering my eyes.
Unfortunately, I had to tell Caldwell. I heard the poor people cheering for Bobby. I wondered how long they’d be doing that for.
As I was heading back to my home, I heard a ‘psst!’ coming from the alley next to the UGC building. I turned to see Ryder McQueen once more leaning on a wall next to a dumpster. The alley reeked of dried blood from Theodore and Isaac sending people to Urinetown.
I had found out when they first began doing so what Urinetown truly was. I heard a kid asking Theodore once if Urinetown was a nice place to live. Poor kid’s last surviving parent–Julie Cassidy–had just gotten sent to Urinetown after she tried to sneak a free pee behind a tree.
“Is it nice, Mister Officer? Urinetown? Does it have.. Nice frothy canals? Gingerbread houses? Like Venice… but…” the kid–Arthur Cassidy–asked, cut off by Theodore.
“But different? Yeah, well…” he clapped the kid on the back, “Whatever helps you sleep at night, kid.”
As Isaac approached with the usual bucket and a mop to clean up Julie Cassidy’s messy arrival to Urinetown, Theodore turned the kid around and walked him off.
I still can’t help but feel bad for the poor kid.
Ryder called again, cupping his hands around his mouth to heighten the sound, “Psst!”
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest, “Yes, yes, Ryder, I heard you the first time.”
I walked closer leaning on the alley wall across from him.
He tapped a finger on his opposing arm, sighing, “We need to talk.”
I cocked an eyebrow up.
He paused, before inhaling to speak again, “About Hope.”
I shrugged a bit, “I… y’know, I know she’s definitely gone too far.”
Ryder snorted.
“That line was crossed a long time ago, mother,” he said, exasperated.
I took a beat before nodding solemnly. I looked down at my feet, kicking a small rock towards Ryder, who kicked it to the side, out of the alley. I looked back up at him with an expression which had a mix of exhaustion and sadness.
“I’m not in charge of her anymore. Well.. I guess I never was. Caldwell really raised her, but… y’know… I’m trying to stop her, you’ve tried to stop her. It’s comin’ to be a lost cause,” I bemoaned.
“Don’t say that. It’s not a lost cause. We have time.”
“No, we do not,” I snapped at him, and pointed my finger at him, “Have you seen Harry lately? And Josephine? And Tom, Becky, Sue, Billy, Robby… all of ‘em? They’re getting worse, Ryder… lots worse,” my eyes began to gloss over, but I was not going to let myself cry in front of Ryder, “And… they can’t live like this anymore.”
Ryder seemed to notice my upset and hesitantly took a step closer to me. I narrowed my eyes, warily, not taking any chances, not even from my son. He put his hands on my shoulders and stared at me for a moment before slowly wrapping his arms around me, definitely hesitant to show affection… of any kind. I couldn’t blame him, there’s a chance I was worse than he was.
“What the hell is this? What are you doing?” I demanded.
“...it’s a… it’s a hug. Do you not-”
“I know what a hug is, Ryder.”
As I was moving to hug him back, he stepped away and cleared his throat.
“So. What do we do about the Cladwell situation?” He asked, putting his hands behind his back.
I physically winced back hearing ‘the Cladwell situation’, knowing damn well it wasn’t Caldwell this time. I sighed.
“Y’know, I really… don’t…” I trailed off, about to say I didn’t know.
But then I got an idea. An idea I really hated. I shook my head slowly.
“Ryder.”
“Yes?”
I paused, pursing my dehydrated lips together before speaking, “Get Harry. Get your brother. Get him and someone else. I have a plan, but you can’t tell anyone else.”
Water was running out, so naturally, alcohol was, too. While everyone panicked around me, I stopped for a drink. A drink that may be my last, if this damn drought keeps up. I sat at the bar, slumping over as I raised an unenthusiastic hand.
“A drink, please. Surprise me, kid,” I drawled, shaking my hair a bit, which was a curled bob.
I crossed my legs at the barstool as a man sat down next to me. He was a nice-looking, put-together man in a nice suit. I looked him up and down. He seemed to notice, smirking in return.
“Hello, doll,” he purred.
I smirked a little bit as well, but I masked it as the drink was passed to me.
“Thank you,” I nodded to the bartender.
As I took a sip of my drink, the man in the suit ordered one of his own.
He turned back to me, asking, “You fancy gettin’ bent tonight, I see?”
“I may as well. You?”
He shrugged, picking up the drink and sipping it as it was passed to him.
“I may. Nice dress you got on there,” he nodded at my dress, taking another sip.
I looked down because I forgot what I had on. My navy asymmetrical dress with a necklace or two on. I had my stupid fancy high heels on. I was what some would call a flapper. Or a strumpet, but I’d been staying clear of romance lately.
“Thanks. Nice suit yourself,” I simpered, taking a long drink of the alcohol in my cup, hoping to get drunk and miss all of this drought in the blackout, “I can tell I’m startin’ to get an edge already."
“Suit yourself. Suit yourself, Miss…”
“Pennywise. Penelope Pennwise.” I extended my arm for a handshake, “You can call me Penny, though. Don’t gotta be so formal with it.”
He shook my hand, grinning. He looked me up and down as I had done to him not even a minute before.
“Miss Penny Pennywise, I see. I’m Caldwell. Caldwell Cladwell,” he introduced.
“Seems we both won the lotto with our names, huh?” I tittered a bit.
He laughed to himself with a big laugh. Not quite loud, but certainly could be if he wanted.
“Sure you're old enough to be drinkin'?” He asked, half-joking and half-serious.
“Ah, pipe down. I'm 24. Surely too young for you, though,” I subtly prodded.
I knew my way around indiscernibly romancing certain men (or women, if I ever felt so inclined), and this seemed to be.. fresh meat of sorts for me to see if I still had it.
Obviously, I did, as he responded, “No, ma'am, I am 26.”
I hummed to myself, taking another long sip of my drink. I twirled one of my blonde curls around my finger to–almost subconsciously–show off for him.
“So.. eh, got any plans tonight?” He awkwardly- oops, I mean… seductively asked.
He acted like this was his first time ever seeing a woman that wanted to respond to him. I didn't know why. He was good looking and seemed nice enough. And he obviously had money; no poor person could afford that nice of a suit.
Regardless, I waved him off with my hand, scoffing, “Go chase yourself, kid.”
“No, miss, I'm serious. If you wanted to.. stop at my place.. I mean, I got drinks there,” he proposed.
I knew exactly what he wanted with me at his place. As much as I'd hate to admit, I wasn't very opposed. It seems as though no one would have much time left. Why not get up to doing some… questionable things? Riots would start breaking out. Why not have some fun?
He paid for both tabs and I joined him in stopping at his house overnight.
Hot Blades Harry, Josephine Strong, Ryder and I happened to meet in that exact bar. It was very run down now, no one had used it since the Stink Years. I stood on the bartenders' side, while the other three sat on the stools in front of me. Harry spun around in his chair a little bit. Ryder put his hand on Harry's back to stop him and he drooped a little bit.
“What's your plan, Ms. Pennywise?” Josephine started the conversation.
I leaned on the bar forearms out, scanning the three of them.
“I don't like the plan. I'd rather not use it if anyone has any other ideas,” I hoped.
To my dismay, no one dared propose anything else. I sighed.
“Great. Well, we may need to… send Hope… back to her father. And her lover,” I said, sadly.
My own daughter. There was a part of me screaming ‘you can't do this. All she's doing is trying to make people happy.’ but I shoved the part of me deep down inside and brushed my gaze over the three of them again.
Josephine looked down at her feet, Harry looked.. almost eager to finally snuff out Hope, and Ryder looked reluctant but was obviously willing to follow my lead.
I prayed for someone to stop me, to slap me across the face and tell me to snap out of it as I kept talking, “I have a key to Urine Good Company. Ryder works there, he can talk to some of the guards. Harry and Mrs. Strong will come with me. You'll be sneaking up behind her and taking her… up. And then?”
Harry pounded his fist in his other hand, “We give her a one-way ticket straight to Urinetown. Just like her prick father. Right?”
No, no. Not right. Not Caldwell, Bobby and Hope. Not my sons, my family. Not them and Hope altogether.
“...exactly. Now c'mon, we must move quickly. And we mustn't tell anyone.”
“How does it feel to be married, Ryder?” I asked, grinning for my adopted son.
Smiling is something people–including myself–are often surprised to see me do. Especially during times like these. Whenever I do it, though, it's always somewhat pleasant. Today was more than somewhat. Ryder and Seymour Fipp were marrying. Almost all of our family was here, even Benjamin showed up.
“It feels.. nice. I like to have that feeling that there's always someone there for me,” Ryder beamed.
This was the happiest I had ever seen him in all the years we'd worked together.
“We're here for you too, you know that, right?” I confirmed.
“Yes, I-” Ryder began, but Harry immediately cut him off, slinging his arms loosely around my neck, clearly buzzed as a bee.
“Always here, Ry- River..!” He slurred.
“Not my name,” Ryder narrowed his eyes.
“You gotta… nice partay goin’ on here, brother!” Harry hollered, groaning a bit as Theodore pulled him off of me.
Supported by nothing and no one, drunk Harry fell to the ground in a fit of giggles. I heard Theodore mutter a ‘goddamnit Harry’ and pulled him up to his feet again. Isaac approached, followed by Benjamin, who glared at Ryder and scowled at Harry.
“Can you just.. Enjoy someone’s presence for once?” Ryder monotoned to Benjamin.
“When it’s one of you? That’s a difficult ask, Mr. McQueen,” Ben responded, puffing out his chest a little bit.
Isaac–holding a glass of melted licorice red wine in one hand and a slice of wood-fired pizza in the other–tapped Ben’s shoulder a bit with the back of his hand to tell him to shape up.
“You want any wine, mom?” Isaac offered, outstretching the wine glass to me.
My expression–soft the whole time I’d been at the wedding–sharpened and I shook my head sadly.
“No thanks. I don’t drink.”
That march to the UGC headquarters with Ryder, Josephine, and Harry in tow was the saddest walk I’d ever taken. Ever since Hope started getting… sicker in the head, I refused to call it anything other than UGC. It wasn’t a Bobby Strong memorial anymore. This was a sick compliment fishing institution run by a woman who was just like her father.
Behind me, Harry was helping Josephine keep pace. As we approached the building I heard a familiar voice stop us.
“Ryder? Miss Pennywise? What’s going on?” Theodore Lockstock’s voice rang out, stopping the four of us in our tracks.
Ryder turned around to speak before I could, “You can’t tell anyone inside of UGC. We’re getting rid of Hope. If you could…”
He trailed off before resuming, “...bucket and a mop. And stand at the bottom of the headquarters.”
He seemed to lock in how exactly we were getting rid of Hope. I expected him to ‘snuff out’ this newfound rebellion against Hope, as he had been instructed to for the rebellion against Caldwell. However, another factor in his decision of whether to stop us or not was this: Hope was responsible for the murder of Isaac Barrel.
He patted Ryder on the back near his shoulder and gave a nod to me, “Very well. Good luck. Good luck, Miss Pennywise. All four of you.”
It was a lonely couple of years after Hope was born. Caldwell took her away from me, because she was “strumpet-born.” I couldn’t believe him. I know we’d only known each other that one day, but I couldn’t believe he would make a mother promise to never reveal her identity to her own daughter. He was so focused on locking onto tomorrow.
He began building a company. Urine Good Company. He began instituting a law that people must pay to use the restrooms. He set me up in charge of the poorest public amenity in the whole area. Figures.
I met a lot of nice people (and some less nice ones). Hot Blades Harry became my son, as well as a worker from UGC named Ryder McQueen, a policeman named Isaac Barrel, and another poorer woman named Becky.
The pain of losing my only daughter led to the adoption of my three sons. I didn’t know if it’d work. But I simply couldn’t lose these three. I couldn’t lose another child. I don’t know what I would have done.
As I unlocked the door, Ryder scampered inside to go distract guards/tell them we were just looking to speak with Ms. Cladwell. I didn’t know what he was telling them. All I could do was hope it worked.
I told Josephine and Harry how to sneak behind Hope while I spoke with her. I realized I had to approach this carefully. Otherwise I would have been another person sent to Urinetown, even after what Hope called ‘the death of Urinetown.’ One more visit for Urinetown with Hope, hopefully not a second one with me.
As I opened the door, Hope obliviously smiled.
“Good evening, mom. Can I help you? Or you just want to talk?” she chirped, perking up in her seat.
God, she looked so happy to see me. I couldn’t do this. I had to call it off. But I couldn’t call it off. It had to happen. It’s either her or everyone.
“Hope, I…”
Ryder walked in behind me, murmuring, “Anyone to stop us has been taken care of.”
“Ryder, I can’t. I can’t do it. She’s my daughter, I can’t lose my daughter a second time, I couldn’t live with it,” I whispered to him, “We need to get Harry and Josephine and leave.”
Ryder sighed solemnly, “I knew you would say that, mother. I’m sorry. It has to happen.”
“It doesn’t. There has to be some other way,” I said.
Ryder’s gaze sent a sense of uneasiness down my entire body.
“I’m calling it off. I’m leaving.”
I began to walk out behind Ryder to get Harry and Josephine, to call everything off, but Ryder grabbed my wrist, preventing me from leaving.
“Ryder. Ryder, let go of me,” I demanded, hands shaking.
“I’m sorry, mother, I can’t do that,” Ryder lamented, shaking his head and grabbing my other arm too, “This was your idea.”
“Yeah? Well, I take it back,” I said, already starting to breathe harder.
“Mom?” I heard Hope call out, and turned around when it became more panicked, “Mom! Mom, what’s happening? What are you-?”
I saw Harry and Josephine creeping up behind her, and wanted to call out, to warn her, but the sound wouldn’t leave my throat. As the two rebels grabbed her arms and began dragging her out of the room–Hope screaming for me to help her–I struggled in Ryder’s grip.
“Let go of me! I have to save Hope!” I caterwauled.
“There is no saving Hope, Miss Pennywise. There may be no saving you.”
My breathing got harder as I heard Hope begin to shriek.
“I’m sorry, Ryder,” I said, before stomping on his foot and running up the steps behind Harry and Josephine.
I hadn’t gotten up the stairs yet when I heard the three of them talking.
“Do you know how long I’ve waited to do this, Hope?” I heard Harry growl.
“Harry… Harry, you can’t do this. I’m- I’m your sister!” Hope pleaded with the poor rebel.
“In the name of the sky, Hope, it’s time you joined your criminal father,” Josephine spoke, the loudest and sternest I’d heard her in a while.
“Please… but, but, the people! If you do this, they’ll- they’ll want to… want to get you back! You and I might meet again… sooner than you think!” Hope fretted.
“The people don’t love you anymore, Hope!” Harry retaliated.
Almost there.. Almost there..
“Well, maybe they’ll love you more once you go to Urinetown, huh?” Harry taunted.
“No… no, please…” Hope got quieter.
I finally reached the top of the stairs.
“Harry! Harry, Josephine, stop it!” I called out.
Harry either somehow couldn’t hear me, or paid me no mind.
“Mom! Mom, what’s-” Hope began, but was cut off by Harry.
“Bye-bye, Cladwell!” Harry cackled, bringing Hope to the railing with a shove.
“No!” I shrieked, beginning to sprint over to the railing, but it was too late.
Hope had been thrown off the railing, screaming absolute bloody murder. I ran over to the railing, and I heard footsteps behind me, but I didn’t care. Gazing down at Hope, still falling. I put a foot on the railing, forgetting the drop and just trying to grab Hope from landing. The footsteps behind me introduced themselves as Ryder McQueen, who then grabbed me by the back of my waders to drag me off of the railing.
“Mother- mother! Miss Pennywise, are you out of your mind?” he sputtered, struggling to hold me back from the railing.
“You’re out of your mind! All of you! And I-” I began, but stopped when I heard Hope’s screaming come to an abrupt stop.
I paused. We all paused. The tension was broken when I ran back down the stairs, dragging McQueen along (because he refused to let go of me in case I tried to jump off the damn building again).
Before even walking out the door, I could smell the mix of blood and tears that filled the entrance of UGC Headquarters. Maybe the tears were mine, as I saw my daughter–my only birth child–lay motionless on the ground. Bobby made it longer than she did. Hope was dead on arrival. What once was a happy young woman was no longer recognizable as a human being. She must’ve landed weird, which sent my head–and stomach–into a spiral.
Harry and Josephine came down the stairs, confused at my sadness.
You knew what would happen. Don’t feel so sorry for her. Don’t feel sorry for yourself.
Theodore stared at Hope’s lifeless and cold body on the ground before picking it up, tossing a mop and a bucket to Ryder and Harry, respectively. He knew not to give one to me. The trail of blood continued to follow the two as Lockstock walked off.
“Mother? Mother, are you-” Ryder began, before I broke down sobbing next to him.
For the next week, I sat outside of Amenity #9. I didn’t get up for food. I didn’t get up for water. I didn’t sleep. I stared at the ground, refusing the food or anything people offered me. Sometimes it was Ryder who checked on me. Sometimes it was Theodore. Harry. Little Sally even checked on me once.
Three days into this, Theodore approached me.
“I’m not hungry,” I told him, voice barely there just like me.
“I don’t have any food for you, today, Miss- Miss Pennywise…” his voice choked, and I finally looked up at him.
Tears stained his face and his eyes were red.
“Oh… oh, dear, what happened?” I stood up for the first time since I sat down.
I admit, I had been crying too. I was sure it wasn’t for the same reason as him. I don’t know if I’d ever seen Theodore cry before. He handed me a piece of paper.
“Read this, plea- please,” he stammered.
I slowly opened the piece of paper.
“I’m sorry, Theodore. I can’t do this anymore. Please don’t be mad.
-Ryder McQueen”
I stared at the note long after I read it, processing. Not Ryder. Not Ryder and Hope both.
“I had told him about Senator Fipp. About Isaac. About Benjamin. About Miss Millenium,” he bewailed.
My eyes narrowed. Not from anger, or suspicion… just exhaustion. Tears streamed down my face again, but I couldn’t seem to cry. Slowly, I took a step closer to him and wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug. His arms didn't move, I knew he didn't have the energy. I hated how much I saw myself in him.
“Thank you… for telling me. Take care of yourself, please, Theodore. Ryder wouldn’t want you to.. Turn to dust after his death,” I said, voice not being able to reach any volume higher than a mutter.
He nodded, and I let go of him, patting his shoulder in acknowledgement. Before turning away, he asked, “You too.”
I nodded in response, knowing damn well I would not. As he turned away to walk off, still sulking, I clutched my stomach and sat against the amenity again. The amenity had since been taken over by vines and various overgrowth, it didn’t take much. There had already been plants growing on it before the rebellion. The lack of TLC for the amenity had just worsened it.
Who cares? Not me. UGC had died off. It seems all I was has disappeared. Hope is gone. Caldwell is gone. Bobby is gone. Ryder is gone. Isaac is gone. My own mortality was slipping away. I grew weaker.. and weaker. My final thought never strayed.
Who cares.
“She’s not responding to anything…”
“She has a pulse, so she must be alive,”
“Take this water bottle, splash some on her face!”
I jolted back to consciousness at the splash of water. I saw three familiar faces–Sally, Theodore and Harry.
“Ah- what the f- what happened?” I spluttered.
“You’re alive! Good,” Harry started off excited, but seemed to remember there was a ‘reputation’ of his to uphold.
“Left you alone for 6 hours… drink this,” Theodore forced a half-empty bottle of water into my hand.
I eyed him but took a sip. It felt nice on my dehydrated throat, but I couldn’t drink too much, there was only so much left in the world.
“What happened? Wher- where is Ryder?... Nev- never mind, actually…” my mind was scattered.
Theodore’s expression fell at the mention of Ryder. We both looked down at our feet.
“...sorry.” I took a breath, “I'm not at my best.. today.”
Harry covered Sally's ears before saying, “Yeah, no shit.” He uncovered her ears when he was done.
“Are you alright, Miss Pennywise?” Little Sally asked me.
The poor kid had been losing too many people recently. I felt bad for the shock it may have caused her, as well as Theodore and Harry.
“Yeah.. yes, Little Sally, I'm alright. Apologies for.. that sight,” I straightened up again, stretching my arms.
“Don't apologize. C'mon, you have to eat something,” Harry stood up, outstretching an arm to me.
“No, truly it's fine…” I shook my head.
“Penelope Pennywise,” Harry said, sternly.
My face turned red. It's not fun to get full-named by your child, so naturally I took his hand and stood up. Ultimately, I was quite hungry. It was quite nice to have people that ensured my well-being, especially after Caldwell's whole… existence.
Who cares? My family quite does, thank you very much.