Work Text:
Package Deal
I've always been a half never a whole. I've always been a "you and her" and never just a "me". I was a sister before i could even remember, a package deal if you will. I was a sister before I was even a person. I've always been a duet and never a solo. Always together never apart, always a duo never a solo.
I don't remember a time before her and she didn't exist before me. It was always a constant. Her and I. Sometimes I hated it, other times I couldn't imagine my life without it. I didn't think I'd exist after her. I didn't think it was even a possibility. I knew it was never an option until it was the only one.
I forget how to breathe now that I don't have to share air with anybody. I don't know how to sleep alone, I can't hear her yelling and talking to me in her sleep. Eating is hard, there's no one to share my food. There's one to split two meals and decide to take the one you like best or let her take the one she wants even if you prefer it. Washing my hair is an even more tedious chore than before, there's no one yelling through the door or barging in to tell me something I used to consider trivial. Now I would give anything to hear her complain about the cold outside or how she missed the bus.
Her voice doesn't attack my ears anymore, it doesn't soothe my nerves after a tough day, it doesn't give me the affection it disguised as insults, there are no more threats or promises of revenge. Now there is only silence, not the comfortable one that offers you comfort, it's the kind you encounter before someone kills you in a horror movie, it's the kind that keeps you up at night because silence like that doesn't exist naturally.
There's no one draping around me in the morning complaining how I won't get up, no one asking me to lie down next to her because it's to cold to get up.
There's… She's not there.