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…
Everything is perfect for a while but then he gets used to this new world and it becomes just as boooring as it was back home. Fernando decides he wants to LIVE. Unfortunately, his funds aren’t as generous as he wishes they were. But one night, he runs into a guy who offers to pay him for sex and Fernando is like – why not?! Not only is he getting laid – he is getting paid, too! \o/
With more nights like that, he realises he can quit his time-consuming part time job AND afford the expensive entry fees to the clubs. He can party every night and he doesn’t have to sip one drink (Which is usually Martini – not Purple Rain. Shut up.) all night long like some looser he ISN’T. He doesn’t have to spend hours in the library when he can simply buy the textbooks (and throw them onto a shelf above his bed and never get the time to actually read them – * happy sigh *).
Fernando has much more freedom now. More freedom ↔ spending even more money ⇒ David has to accept more and more offers (though he still likes to think that he does it only every now and then). It’s not like he’s walking the streets. And the fees for the next semester also aren’t going to pay themselves, thank you very much!
So, that’s what Fernando’s life is like before. Before he meets this extraordinary guy one night at the party – a guy who introduces himself by walking right towards Fernando and grinding against him with the excuse of dancing as David.
Fernando doesn’t know HOW but David already knows his name and he also knows that Fernando offers sex for money.
“Occasionally!” Fernando clarifies, staring into David’s dark, dreamy eyes. Oopst.
“Can tonight be the occasion?” David asks in a husky tone and Fernando swoons. Not literally but he’s sure David would catch him if he did. Ha, the very idea...
Anyway, David leads Fernando to his flat – how does the wanker get to have the WHOLE flat just for himself is beyond Fernando – and Fernando does his job. And if he enjoys is a bit too much, then it’s okay, because there is no one who can tell. (Though the bit when he breeeeeathed in David’s scent might have been a bit of a clue creepy. Oh-oh.)
Then the guy whispers into Fernando’s ear asks if he can tie Fernando down next time and he triples of Fernando’s usual price and Fernando’s mind signals: Danger, Will Robinson, DANGER! And Fernando really does not flee... except for yes, yes he totally does.
And if he avoids the club where he met David for a few months while, then it’s just a pure coincidence. Because, seriously, there are only so many parties he can attend that he doesn’t need to visit some stupid club. (Even if it was one of his favourites. Addiction is never good, mind you.)
…
Fernando is like *glare, glare, glare* – which translates as: “Aw, man, really? When?”
And his IDEAL roommate scratches the back of his head and tries to look sheepish as he hesitantly answers: “Tomorrow.”
No, Fernando does not swear. He doesn’t shout (“WHAT?”) or whine (“But whyyy?”) or plead (“But what about the rent??!”). He walks calmly out of the door and goes clubbing on his own.
No matter how much Fernando wishes is was just a joke, when he stumbles back into their flat the next morning/midday and wobbles into their (his) room, the only things left there are his own. (Actually, a few items that definitely belong to Fernando are missing, too. Then again, Fernando IS a little bit messy.)
Pouting, he stamps into the other bedroom and barges in without knocking (as usual). He doesn’t find The Two Doves cuddling on one bed (unusual). After he tears his gaze away from the bed where isn’t happening groping of any kind (highly unusual), he notices the numerous bags and boxes scattered on the floor. o.O
He isn’t sure how he makes it into his bed but the fact is that when he wakes up late in the evening, the boxes as well as the bags are gone and there is a note on the kitchen counter that says: You know that we are all expected to move out, don’t you? Xabi recently mentioned looking for a new roommate – call him. Take care ‘Nando!
Fernando fucking hates it when people call him ‘Nando. Well, he also hates it when people disappear from his life.
He takes the note and goes to interrogate politely ask the landlord what on the earth is going on. He is informed (much less politely) that the flat needs to be vacated for the landlord’s sister and her little family. Yeah. His life sucks.
HIS flat is now e-m-p-t-y and he has to p-a-y the rent because the new month begins tomorrow. Like, the bills really aren’t going to magically cease to exist in his life just because that’s what his IDEAL flatmates did.
And as if that wasn’t enough, his scholarship for the next year gets rejected because apparently, having wealthy parents who assured the school that they can easily pay the scholarship is a problem. The REAL problem, though, is having parents who disapprove of you. (Your major is a waste of time, you’re a disgrace to the family, you’ve been always sleeping around, why can’t you just be normal, when we were your age – blah, blah, blah...)
Fernando doesn’t even have enough strength in him to be upset. Or angry. He wishes he could throw a tantrum. He wishes it could change anything. The summer term is nearing its end and nearly everyone he knows will be going back home to have THE BEST SUMMER EVER. Fernando isn’t going home because that would mean admitting he needs them – which he doesn’t, since they apparently don’t need him in their lives either. Not unless he finds himself a girlfriend and settles down, which he definitely won’t do. Fuck it all. It’s HIS life.
…
He picks up his phone and makes a few calls before he gets David’s number and he discovers quite a few interesting things about this David-guy in the process. Like, David is a filthy rich bastard, a kinky one, and presumably heartless.
Gulping, Fernando dials David’s number, because hello, he really needs the fucking money. And from what he’s learnt, David can afford to pay much more than triple.
The phone rings several times and when David finally picks it up, he doesn’t ask who’s calling. Unnerved, Fernando realises David must have known his number all along.
David smiles – and yes, Fernando can imagine hear that smile – “Changed your mind, haven’t you?”
Fernando is like: “Yes, yes I did.” :(
In contrast, David is smug and his voice sounds a bit teasing: “I knew it! Are you doing anything this evening?”
Fernando isn’t doing anything but he pretends he is so HE is the one setting details for their hook-up. What?! He is not nervous, what are you, crazy?
He thinks there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with vanilla sex, though he’s been introduced to quite a few kinks, depending on what his regulars liked and enjoyed and paid for.
Fernando knows he’s a good looking guy, he would have been stupid not to know that. And he IS NOT stupid, despite the popular belief.
He has NO reason whatsoever to be nervous, damn it. (And yet, he is.)
At least Xabi turns out to be an awesome roommate. It’s cool living with him. Well, minus that time when Fernando settled his favourite mug on the table and went to take a piss while waiting for the water to boil in the kettle. (ANYONE could forget to actually set the kettle on, right?) By the time he emerged back into their room, whipping his hands on the front of his jeans, Xabi was standing at the sink, thoroughly washing Fernando’s FAVOURITE mug.
Xabi didn’t even bother to look at him as he called: “Have you washed your hands?”
And just like that Fernando realised he’s condemned himself to live with a freak. It’s not like he’s complaining most of the times. The clothes he strips and kicks into smelly piles next to his bed are never there the next morning when he wakes up and every now and then, his clothing magically re-appears, clean, and faintly smelling of lavender. Fernando never asks about that because some things are better if you simply DON’T KNOW. Seriously.
Oh, and the best part about Xabi is that he knows this really cool guy, Sergio, who turns out to be the best drinking buddy Fernando ever had. Sergio is also quite a cuddly drunk, which Fernando considers hilarious. Fernando will never forget the time when Sergio tried to cuddle the lamp post. He will also NEVER talk about it, because he PROMISSED/WAS THREATENED.)
Fernando is 96% sure Sergio is straight but Fernando doesn’t mind. Let’s face it – Sergio HAS the world’s most comfortable couch to bunk in. Plus, Sergio provides an unlimited stock of aspirin. And he never makes too much noise in the mornings. Mainly because he’s passed out in his own bed.
Simply, Sergio turns out to be Fernando’s SOUL MATE. (Err, minus the sex.)
…
A few days and several nervous breakdowns cured by an unreasonable amounts of alcohol later, Fernando goes to David’s place. The reassuring pat on the shoulder he receives from Xabi on his way out unsettles him even further (and makes him doubt his own judgment).
It’s just three hours, Fernando tries to calm himself – but not quite, because he isn’t even nervous in the first place, remember? And it isn’t until he raises his hand and knocks on David’s doors (because Fernando is a master of sneaking into places where he shouldn’t be, didn’t you already know that?) that an idea occurs to him.
What if David opens the door already naked? OMG! That would be pretty awkward.
He embraces himself. And okay, maybe NOW Fernando is a little bit worried and is willing to listen to his little inner voice, which rambles:
Are you insane? What if he cuffs you the moment you walk through the door and forces you to call him a master and –
But it is too late to listen to whatever the voice has to say because the door opens and Fernando is pulled inside a small hall. He doesn’t fight, scream or bite... but it takes a LOT of effort.
David is still holding onto Fernando’s forearm but at least, he is clothed. THANK GOD. Whoa-wait! What? Why is he fully clothed? Does he expect Fernando to undress him or wash him or–?
Oh, damn it, David is saying something, isn’t he?
“Sorry, what?” Fernando stammers asks.
“I was saying,” David repeats, the impatience creeping into his tone – which is not good, not good, not good – “that if you’re not up for edgeplay, we should set some safeword you can use in case you – Fer?”
David leans closer, his eyes dangerous and predatory. Fuck. How came that Fernando never noticed that gleam before? (He wasn’t too busy staring at the guy’s mouth, was he?)
“Uhm, yeah?”
“A safeword,” David repeats and it FINALLY registers with Fernando.
“How am I supposed to say the safeword when you gag me?” Fernando blurts and immediately regrets it when he hears David’s soft groan.
After a while, David says that Fernando can snap his fingers repeatedly.
“I can’t snap my fingers,” Fernando objects. David raises an eyebrow and Fernando has to suddenly fight the urge to stick out his tongue at him.
David raises his left hand and snaps his fingers in front of Fernando’s face. As if THAT could teach Fernando how to do it. Fernando shakes his head and restrains himself from making a sarcastic remark. David gives him a quizzical look. “We’ll think of something. Don’t worry.”
“I’m not worried,” Fernando retorts automatically and adds a bright smile.
“Sure,” David drawls and makes a motion with his hand further into his flat. “Then let’s go.”
He holds open one door to his left so Fernando has to squeeze past him. As he does so, an unmistakeable heavy scent invades his nostrils.
The sound of the door shutting close behind them sounds rather ominous to Fernando’s ears.
…
If David is surprised, he masks it well. He walks to the window and closes it. “All right.”
“And mercy,” Fernando says, his voice finally sounding firm. He relaxes, getting the hold of the situation.
“What?” David tears his gaze away from the scene happening in the street bellow. His brows furrowed, he watches Fernando, clearly waiting for an explanation.
“My safeword,” Fernando states simply.
“Okay. No money if you use it, though,” David reminds him. Fernando does not roll his eyes. (He totally does.)
“Sure.”
“Breathplay will be fine with you?” David asks, his voice flat and business-like.
A shiver runs down Fernando’s spine as he nods. “But no fire or candles, no needles, no permanent-“
“Do you want me to write it down?” David INTERRUPTS him.
Fernando gives him his best scowl. He is glad he doesn’t have to look up at David.
“I’ll take that as no,” David chuckles. “Well, then – are you ready?”
“As I’ll ever be. Let’s get this over and done with,” Fernando huffs. Fernando hesitantly trails after David, who disappears into a dark room. Fernando stops dead in the doorway. It’s too dark inside to see the whole room, but right next to the door is a small stool and the light from the hall illuminates the items on it. Strangely enough, it reminds him of the documentary about medieval torture devices he Xabi watched last week.
Fernando’s gaze falls onto a pair of strangely bent scissors and he does not even want to imagine what those can be used for. WOW.
David notices his absence and goes to get him. He emerges from the dark and puts his hand on the small of Fernando’s back, silently urging him in. Fernando obeys.
David locks the door behind them and melts into the dark. He certainly knows this room well. Fernando doesn’t get enough time to dwell on the fact that he already misses David’s warm presence, because then – David flicks the lights on.
Fernando GASPS, because what he sees looks incredibly close to a bloody dungeon.
“If you want to chicken out, now it’s the perfect time,” David murmurs softly into Fernando’s ear, making him tense. When did David get so close?
Again, he recognises the heavy smell. It’s a bit like musk and sweat and Fernando decides he likes it.
David doesn’t seem to be satisfied by the lack of Fernando’s response. He laughs quietly and his warmth breath tickles Fernando’s neck. The sensation is new and leaves Fernando momentarily paralyzed. Silly thoughts, go away!
“I won’t be angry and I won’t tell anyone,” David assures him. It takes a while until Fernando realises David is still talking about Fernando’s chance to back away. He imagines how he could accept the offered out and waltz out of this room, problem solved. But not really, because he needs to get PAID. That’s the problem here and not some irrational, stupid sense of self-preservation fear.
…
“Have you eaten anything?”
Fernando is like – OMG, have I missed some important part of our conversation? “Er, I had dinner, thank you?”
“Brilliant. Wouldn’t want you to faint in the middle of...” he trails off and makes a gesture with his hand, one that Fernando doesn’t want to know how to interpret.
(Fainting, phew. What else?! Stupid, stupid, stupid.) Fernando doesn’t have the guts to ask him to finish the sentence. Instead, he casually strolls (yes he does!) towards the centre of the room. There is a massive bed with bedposts and chains hanging from its canopy.
He crawls onto the bed and lies himself down in his best attempt at seductive pose. His legs brush against the shackles; Fernando shivers. :S
He doesn’t know what he expects but surely not David practically doubling over with laughter. Fernando feels the blush rising to his face.
“Try it again,” David tells him once he stops laughing, “with less clothes on.”
Damn.
He really wants to call David an ass but he also thinks it would be highly inappropriate. So he undresses in silence and tries not to worry much. He also tries to ignore David’s stare because he’s not helping the situation at all.
He sort of struggles with his T-shirt because it gets stuck as he tries to pull it over his head. (No, his ears aren’t too big. They are perfect, thank you very much.) David comes to rescue him and Fernando blushes some more.
David tells Fernando to keep his arms lifted up, even though Fernando is now fully naked. And David leans closer; impossibly close to him. David’s hair is tickling Fernando’s cheek.
David grins a little, tracing each letter of the tangwar script on Fernando’s arm with his warm fingers. Fernando’s lips are pursed tightly together, he doesn’t speak. Even if he wants to scream down the whole house. He doesn’t use the safeword – but he already wishes...
Fernando looks over David’s shoulder to avoid his gaze. And then his eyes go comically round, because there, on the shelf on the wall, is one of those OLD clothes irons. This one looks like something Queen Victoria used – had she, you know, had to do the ironing by herself. Whatever. Fernando isn’t able to look anywhere else, his mind racing.
David pauses and looks over his shoulder to follow Fernando’s stare. He snorts and turns his attention back to Fernando. “It’s just for the show, Fer. Relax, I’ll take care of you.” Relax. Sure, why not?!
David’s tongue traces the letters the same way his fingers did earlier and then Fernando’s eyes widen in shock as he watches the toe-cuffs make their appearance. Bloody hell. What EXACTLY had he agreed to? Maybe he should have demanded a list. Too late now.
“Lie down. On your stomach,” David instructs.
In a blink, Fernando’s hands are cuffed to a bed frame and Fernando winces. He haven’t even seen David move. Get a grip, get a grip, get a grip...
When David blindfolds him, Fernando has to fight down the wave of terror that washes over him. He has never EVER been this powerless, this helpless; at someone’s mercy. Fernando usually could move around freely, as he wished, and hell, IF he wished, he could even walk out of the room, leaving his partner behind. If he wished. He never did and he doesn’t want to do that now either. But knowing that he CAN’T is alarming. Somewhere back in his mind he knows that technically, once he shouts says the safeword, he is *free* to go. David would stop, Fernando trusts him that much.
Using the safeword ≠ money, he reminds himself. Get a grip, Fernando. Get a grip. So he does. And David fucks him, uses him, dominates him.
And Fernando doesn’t see any of it. He feels a lot, though.
…
“Untie me,” Fernando urges. The panic hits him again with full force when David just looks at him with an unfathomable expression on his face and DOESN’T MOVE.
Fernando begs: “David, please, let me go.”
David stands up and walks out of the room. Fernando feels more stupid than usual. After what feels line AN ENTERNITY, David enters the room again. He releases Fernando, offering him the money.
Fernando snatches is away. “I’m never coming back,” he says darkly, pulling on his clothes. He managed to keep his mouth shut long enough to get paid. That’s good. But the humiliation and the feeling of a complete surrender are still with him. (Fernando’s dignity – priceless.)
David laughs but Fernando knows his carefree laugh too well. This laugh isn’t genuine.
Fernando slams the doors shut behind him but even that doesn’t make him feel any better. And then he is finally *free*.
“Never again,” he mutters miserably into his glass half an hour later, avoiding Sergio’s raised eyebrow. He orders drink after drink after drink. Sergio doesn’t stop him. He knows better.
In the morning, Fernando feels even worse. Xabi constantly gives him looks that Fernando has no problem interpreting as: “You deserve it, mate.”
Fernando doesn’t deserve it, right? “Don’t you have classes or something urgent to attend?” Fernando asks when Xabi starts what sounds like an intergalactic war on his laptop.
Xabi gives him one long, pitying look that Fernando only belatedly tags as: “It’s Saturday, you drunken idiot.” At least, Xabi fishes out his headphones so Fernando only has to ignore Xabi’s obnoxiously loud typing on the keyboard. He can’t possibly do that on purpose, can he?!
Every now and then, Xabi throws him a quick glace and Fernando likes to think Xabi does that because he wants to make sure Fernando is all right – and not because he is silently laughing his ass off at Fernando’s pitiful state.
He doesn’t argue with Xabi’s looks but eventually, he gets up and gives Xabi the money he owes him for the rent. (And he pays for the following months as well, because has no plans of moving ANYWHERE. He’s done with trying to find IDEAL roommates. Sometimes, compromises are better because you don’t expect that much from them.)
Now, that stops Xabi’s looks and earns Fernando a blissful silence – and a cup of ginger tea as a bonus – and Fernando can carefully climb back into his bed flop down on his bed and die in peace.
…
So, Fernando (voluntarily!) comes back to David’s place and this time, he is prepared to be dragged to the dungeon, chained, caged or forced to wear a collar. Anything is worth gaining that much money. (He totally can change his mind. Shush!)
Fernando KNOWS what to expect when he knocks sharply on David’s door, so of course he is proven wrong. Of course.
When David answers the door, his face lights up and he gives Fernando a brief (but not any less puzzling) hug before inviting him in. He doesn’t lead him to the room where they were last time, no. David leads him to his bedroom.
Fernando opens his mouth – but David distracts him with kisses and drags him into the bed. The bed. Oh god. For Fernando, this is somehow much, much worse than all the chains. He can do the sofa sex or wall sex just fine. But this, this... “We need to talk.”
David’s cheeky smile fades a bit. “We don’t.”
“Yes, yes we do,” Fernando insists, dodging David’s lips.
David gets on the top of him and moves his legs so he is straddling Fernando’s hips. “Then talk,” David nods encouragingly, his eyes mischievous. He thrusts up against Fernando and Fernando can only manage a soft, appreciative moan. David laughs and God, Fernando missed that laugh.
“You bastard,” he says without any heat.
David gently taps his finger against the tip of Fernando’s nose and Fernando tilts his head and captures David’s finger in his mouth. He flicks his tongue against the fingerprint and sucks. David’s breath hitches in his throat and Fernando watches his eyes go wide.
Fernando lets go of David’s fingers with an obscene pop and says teasingly: “Losing your edge, aren’t you.” When he sees David’s reaction, he wishes he kept his mouth shut. It is as if he slapped David. His eyes darken and narrow, gone is the warmth edge of his smile. David’s grips Fernando’s thigh hard enough that Fernando will be wearing the marks of those fingers for a few days. Fernando doesn’t understand the change and David’s suddenly cold eyes fixed on Fernando give no answer.
“Get up,” David says in a commanding tone and before Fernando could even blink, he is standing next to the bed, waiting for Fernando.
Fernando doesn’t know what it is he did wrong. Yet he opens his mouth to apologise: “David, I–“
“Get up and follow me,” David snaps and walks into the hallway.
“David,” Fernando tries again as David fumbles with his keys to open the dungeon.
“Shut up and stay silent.”
Fernando ignores the sharp command of the tone. “David, really, I–“
David swivels around to face him. “Last warning – shut the fuck up.” And Fernando does. Today is NOT his day. It’s David’s money anyway, so it’s not really Fernando’s place to question anything. “Take your shirt off and kneel down. Put your hands on the wall.”
As the first lash burns his back, Fernando whimpers without meaning to and wonders if he would be able to join Sergio on his Drinking Friday Night. When the third blow comes, though, he silently doubts that he would be able to join Sergio EVER AGAIN. The strike that follows hits a little lower. Fernando cries. The world goes still for a while.
“Fer? Are you okay?”
Fernando blinks back his tears. Is it just him or does David sound concern? For a moment, Fernando thinks that David wouldn’t be opposed to switching but then he realises that it’s not what he’s paid for. He isn’t sure if David expects him to really answer the question.
“Fer?” David prompts him.
“Yeah... yeah, don’t stop,” he gets out, choking (only a little!) on his words. It’s official. He’s gone mental.
The whip clatters against the floor. David’s hands are all over him. The touches are brief and soft and painful – but the tingling sensation is gone sooner than Fernando’s brain fully registers the connection. The burning pain that blurs his vision, however, stays. A moan escapes him as David pinches his right nipple.
David licks a spot on Fernando’s neck and then he nibbles on the sensitive skin, biting and sucking so hard Fernando is sure he’ll be supporting a rather spectacular love-bites for WEEKS. Dear God.
…
It takes a while for Fernando to awake completely and by the time he realises that his hands and feet are chained together, the house is perfectly silent.
Fernando tries to yank his right hand free but David obviously knew what he was doing and added padlocks.
From where Fernando is, he can’t see the keys. But he is SURE they MUST be here... somewhere. He carefully raises to his feet, nearly falling over, caught off balance. The pain is blinding.
Swearing, he clumsily shuffles around the room, knocking things over every now and then. All he finds is a small flashlight and a bottle of water with a note. There are only two words:
Try harder.
The doors aren’t locked – Fernando tried – but he will not be caught walking around in chains and wearing NOTHING because he can’t get dressed when his wrists are chained together .
He is slowly beginning to lose his hope; imagining how David comes back and discovers Fernando still trapped here. The mere thought hurts more than any of his wounds. Miserable, Fernando sits on the bed and loses his balance, yet again. He topples backward into the matters. And then he sees it.
The light from the flashlight illuminates an envelope taped to the canopy. It takes him FOREVER to get it down. Inside, there are the keys and his payment. Fernando is a little bit impressed. He is also a little bit annoyed. (He might also be a little bit in love.)
Sometime later, much later, Fernando limps back to his flat, trying to came up with a good cover story he’d tell Xabi. But when he gets back home (yes, he already considers the flat his home) Xabi is nowhere to be found. Just when he needs him. Figures.
He fishes out his phone and scrolls down the list of his contacts before dialling Segio’s number with a resigned sigh.
Sergio promises to come over and bring something to help the healing and cease the pain. When Fernando asks him not to ask any questions, Sergio just snorts and hangs up. :/
His soulmate is forgiven the moment he knocks on David’s door, though. Fernando calls for him to came in. (He didn’t bother to lock the doors because that would mean getting up from his comfy position on his bed.)
Sergio looks him up and down and he whistles quietly – but he doesn’t ask any questions. Somehow, Fernando wishes he did.
Sergio only comments on the resemblance between Fernando’s back and okapi’s butt, so Fernando flips him off.
“A bit of respect between you wouldn’t go amiss, mate,” Sergio concludes, inspecting Fernando’s backs.
“It’s not like that,” Fernando insists, not even trying to pretend he doesn’t know who are they talking about. “We do respect each other. I trust him.”
Sergio gives him a disbelieving look and Fernando stops trying to explain. “Just rub some ointment on it, okay?”
Sergio does.
“GENTLY!” Fernando yelps and Sergio, the fucker, laughs.
…
Sergio is nursing his second beer when Fernando realises how suspiciously QUIET Sergio is.
“Hey, are you okay?” He asks, eyeing Sergio worriedly.
Sergio blinks like he’s been miles away. “Yes, yes I’m. It’s just – I’ve been thinking...” he trails off.
“It’s never a good sign when Sergio thinks,” Fernando announces in a stage whisper to no one in particular. Sergio settles down his glass and glares at him.
“Remember Visi?”
“What?”
Sergio sighs. “Who, mate. Who.” He takes a gulp of his beer and Fernando suspects it’s just to test his patience. “You remember that chick who tried to chat me up last week?”
Fernando racks his brain. In vain.
“Hazel eyes, dreamy smile, long hair,” Sergio offers.
“Longer than yours?” Fernando tries to buy some time because, no, he does not remember. Why should he – Sergio end up with a different girl each night, anyway.
Sergio ignores the jab. “Gorgeous ass, mile-long legs.”
Fernando shakes his head.
“Laughed at you and called you Feo.”
Oh. Fernando remembers that one. He grimaces. “What’s with her?” He takes a sip of his drink, watching Sergio squirm.
“Turns out she’s not a chick, after all.”
Fernando. Does. Not. Choke. On. His. Drink.
“WHAT?” Fernando sputters.
Sergio looks past him and adds: “Actually, Visi is a shemale.”
“WHAT?!”
Sergio is still ogling the point past Fernando’s left shoulder.
“But – she, she had-,” Fernando makes a universally recognised boobs-grabbing gesture.
Sergio snorts: “Yeah, but she also had-”
Fernando quickly averts his eyes because he does not need to see Sergio’s gesture. He asks: “And you found that out before or after she snogged you senseless?”
“Before. I wonder, though – how is it like to kiss another bloke?”
Fernando does not like where is this conversation going. “Technically, she wasn’t a bloke.”
“But you are,” Sergio states and Fernando gapes at him. Sergio smiles at his reaction and goes on: “C’mon, mate. Just one kiss, out of curiosity.”
“I don’t think I’m drunk enough,” Fernando objects.
Sergio rolls his eyes. “Sorry to break it on you, mate, but you do that very often and very sober.”
“Not with you,” Fernando frowns. And discreetly tried to pinch his arm. He is still asleep, right? Or did David drug him and those were all his hallucinations?
“Aw, man, you’re no fun. You’re a rentboy, what does one kiss mean to you?”
Fernando tenses. “I’m not a whore. And don’t you dare suggesting to pay me because David–”
Something flashed in Sergio’s eyes. “Ah, here we go. Daaaavid,” he drawls.
Fernando flushes.
“So you turn me down because of David, interesting. Very interesting,” Sergio grins up at him and slowly picks up his glass again. “It must be loooove.”
Fernando wonders how Sergio ALWAYS manages to turn EVERY situation in his favour and make a total idiot of Fernando. “I don’t love him,” he says, frowning at the tone of his own voice.
Sergio dismisses his statement with a wave of his glass and leans closer: “You shouldn’t forget about your friends, mate. Friendship is important too. You have to keep your friends because once he dumps your sorry ass, you’re going to need someone’s shoulder to cry on.”
Fernando buries his face in his hands and silently vows to never, ever go drinking with Sergio.
…
Fernando doesn’t mind that much, because Xabi is sort of fun to hang out with as well. Sort of.
He is playing cards with Xabi one afternoon, when the doorbell rings. Xabi looks out of the window and says dryly: “It’s your loverboy, Fernando.”
“Tell him I’m not here,” Fernando hisses, already disappearing in the bedroom.
Xabi goes to answer the door. He stares David down and then he decides he can let him in. “He’s busy faking his absence in his room,” he gestures with his hand towards Fernando’s bedroom. “Take of your shoes.”
David doesn’t even bat his eye. “You’re Xabi, right?” he grins, placing his shoes carefully on the doormat. He stretches his hand towards Xabi. “I’m-”
“I know who you are,” Xabi says sharply, crossing his arms. David retreats his outstretched hand. “I have no idea why he puts up with you.”
David looks at him, his expression guarded. “I don’t know that either.”
There is the tiniest hint of smile on Xabi’s face before nods to David and slips past by him out of the front doors, grabbing his jacket and sneakers. “Won’t be back home anytime soon,” he winks at David.
(David makes a mental note to ask Fernando about Xabi later.) David makes his way to the door Xabi pointed to and knocks.
“Bloody traitor,” Fernando curses under his breath and strides towards his death the door, throwing it open. David beams at him. Fernando scowls. All right, all right – but he REALLY tries, okay?
“What do you want?” Fernando ventures when David keeps smiling like an idiot.
“You wanted to talk,” David shrugs. “May I came in?”
True, Fernando wanted to sit down and persuade David to talk about their... arrangement. But. Not. In. His. Bedroom.
“Fine,” Fernando agrees, pursing his lips. He watches David stalk toward Fernando’s bed, flopping himself down as if HE owned it. Fernando doesn’t groan. He also doesn’t think about how he will be able to smell David on his pillows long after he's gone. Neither does he contemplate never changing his bed sheets again. He does not – it would be plain stupid. (Because Xabi changes the sheets at least once a week.)
Fernando hoists himself onto the table as far from the bed as possible. (Impossible.) “Why are you here?” He asks calmly. (Pretty hard, if your heart keeps doing those funny little flips every time you realise that it’s DAVID, sprawled on your BED.)
David uses one of his disarming smiles and says sweetly: “You’ve missed me.” It's not a question.
And at that very moment, Fernando knows he’s royally fucked. Because it’s TURE. (David doesn’t need to know that.) Fernando hates the mere thought of that. He earns his money for the freedom, right? And he missed David. Shit, shit, shit!
And so Fernando does the only thing he considers safe. He meets David’s gaze and licks his lips meaningfully. Then he crosses the distance between him and the bed, taking his time. He lowers his voice as he taunts: “You wanted to talk?!”
…
Fernando is still smiling when he emerges from his room and sees the abandoned playing cards. They are now neatly stacked into a house of cards. Xabi is nowhere to be found. So Fernando picks one card at random and tugs it free. The house doesn’t collapse, which makes Fernando kick the table until it does. He smirks and leaves the cards scattered all over the table and floor.
He doesn’t know what he is trying to prove but he feels better already. He can do ANYTHING.
So, Fernando avoids David for A WHILE – just to show himself he can. He can... for a while. But then Xabi sets off to return home. So does Sergio. And Fernando doesn’t. And it sucks.
That’s how Fernando ends up calling David, to beg for arrange their next meeting as soon as possible!.
The next thing he knows is that his feet are freezing.
Fernando blinks his eyes open. He realises with a surprise that he must have fallen asleep. He doesn’t even remember that. And he is even more surprised to see the bright daylight outside of the windows. For a moment he marvels the view from the bedroom before a polite cough gets his attention.
He snaps his head around so fast the room blurs a little but it’s David there, no questions.
“David?” he croaks, his voice raspy from the lack of use. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes and yawns.
“’Morning, Fer. Or should I say, good afternoon?”
Fernando freezes, his arms raised stupidly above his head as he was stretching. Then it finally dawns on him. This is David’s bedroom (and he shouldn’t be there). His heart does this funny little flip at the though.
“Sorry,” he begins, searching for the right words. “I must have been pretty much out of it.”
David grins up at him and Fernando can’t just be there, in the same bed, in the same room, in the same city...
He swipes his legs over the edge of the bed, desperately searching the floor for his clothes before his brain supplies the information that he is clothed. Oh.
On his first step to flee the country way out of the room, he has to go around David’s side of the bed (and now he knows which one it is, ha) and David catches his hand as he passes.
“Wait a second,” David says and Fernando shivers because it reminds him of the commanding tone David SOMETIMES uses.
“Er, yeah?” Fernando waits. David lets go of his hand (*pout*) and fishes something out of his night table. Fernando uses the time David is focused on his search to ogle him. What?! They’re in the bedroom, after all.
David hands him a notebook. It’s a small, black new school year planner with a blue stripe on the cover. When Fernando opens it, there is his pay for the previous night. Which he doesn’t even remember. He turns a few pages and he realises that David had already planned their next meetings.
“You plan to fuck me every weekend?” Fernando’s voice raises. Before he can add a teasing – Sure you can afford me that often, sugar daddy? – David laughs.
Startled, Fernando glances up at him.
“I can always call you to fix more hook-ups, right?”
“Right,” Fernando repeats, completely baffled. He lowers his gaze to the planner in his hands.
“Fer?”
Fernando likes it when David calls him Fer. Smiling, he looks at David, who is still sprawled on the bed.
“You were leaving,” David reminds him. “I don’t have to show you your way out, do I?”
And after everything, Fernando still blushes BRIGHT RED, mumbles something incoherent and rushes out of David’s bedroom and out of his flat. Awkward!
…
Over the course of the following week, David’s regular calls aren’t surprising; the small presents and dinners are. That’s something Fernando can’t refuse – because he likes it a lot. He gets used to it pretty quickly and he knows he’s on a slippery slope with this but he can’t help himself.
He and David fall into a nice routine and Fernando should be proud of himself (– except he isn’t).
His mother is an ace in making him MISERABLE when he is only feeling a bit upset. All she has to do is make her usual phone call once the summer starts. She politely invites him back home but they both know she is just making sure he ISN’T coming back home. And seeing that she has fabulous timing, she chooses that day for THE call.
The dreaded call ends up as soon as Fernando reassures her that no, he doesn’t plan to visit them and yes, he is still a slut. (Not his choice of words, btw.)
Fernando sort of likes pissing his parents off and it’s just a small consolation for the depression that is bound to come. Despicable. Shameful. Unwanted and unloved. Ignored. Crushing on David.
He calls Sergio because Sergio always has something stupid/nice to say. He doesn’t let Fernando down this time, either.
“Mate, you were supposed to shag him, get the money and flee,” Sergio states once Fernando’s done whining talking . And Fernando KNOWS what he should be doing but he DOENS’T WANT TO. He really doesn’t want to let go of David. Fernando fitted himself so nicely into David’s life and he doesn’t want to let go. Ever.
There is an unexpected silence at the other end of the line and Fernando knows Sergio asked him a question but he wasn’t quite listening. Oopsie.
“But I–” Fernando pauses. “And what do you think, mate?” He’s got away with it so many times...
“Suck ‘em, fuck ‘em, chuck ‘em,” Sergio sing-songs.
Not even that manages to make Fernando. Chuckle, maybe. A little. He is DEPRESSED and Sergio is miles away. And so is Xabi but he wouldn’t confide in Xabi anyway – he seems too impulsive, unpredictable. Fernando feels so l-o-n-e-l-y. *sob*
Sergio obviously knows him a bit too well. “Your mother called you, didn’t she?”
“Yeah.” (Fernando doesn’t pout. He doesn’t! Okay, so he totally does but Sergio luckily can’t see that over the phone.)
“Just ignore her, man. Ignore the bullshit she says because you know it isn’t true.”
“But she thinks it is.”
“Visi thinks I’m into her.”
“Um. And aren’t you? Into him?”
“Go fuck yourself,” Sergio advises kindly.
“I’ve got people for that. And they’re paying me,” Fernando retorts sweetly but his victory is short lived, as Sergio replies without missing a beat.
“Other people? There are no other PEOPLE, mate. There is just David.”
Fernando can’t quite disagree with that.
Sergio huffs. “Just call him, okay? Now.”
And who is Fernando to ignore his soulmate’s advice.
…
Fernando is more than okay with that and he happily accompanies David to the cinema where he grudgingly watches some vampire horror movie that SUCKS.
It seems that David isn’t much impressed with the movie either and they comment on each and every mistake, ignoring other’s people shushing noises. It’s sort of fun. It would be even BETTER if it was an actual date. But it ISN’T and Fernando continues scowling even after David reaches out with his hand and tries to smooth the wrinkle between Fernando’s brows.
After the movie, they do the dinner thing but it’s still not a date and Fernando feels like crying annoyed.
They take the longer way back to David’s flat. Fernando isn’t sure if David somehow sensed the shift in Fernando’s mood and is trying to cheer him up... But it’s not helping, damn it! Because it would be SO romantic and it ISN’T.
Fernando doesn’t get his one sweet goodnight kiss in front of David’s door and he doesn’t go back to his own home. He wishes they were like that. Things would be different and maybe... maybe. Fernando smiles bitterly as David urges him inside. (Which eventually leads to a lot of slow, smutty sex. No ropes, thank god.)
Fernando stays the night, agreeing when David first suggests he can. Only because David wore him out and he didn’t feel like going all the way back to his place (but the truth is that he doesn’t want to be alone. Even if it’s not like that, it’s still better than his cold, empty bedroom).
Anyway, Fernando stays the night and he is glad for that, despite the fact that he doesn’t get much sleep. And then the morning comes and David wakes up, gazing up at Fernando with his warm brown eyes.
“Hi,” David says, his voice thick with sleep. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yes,” Fernando nods, putting on his bright smile. It always works on other people. (David ≠ other people.) David’s eyes bore into his and he has to look away.
And then Fernando probably comes up with something funny because David smiles and leans closer to him for a deep kiss. It’s already morning, Fernando tenses, hit by the realisation, and David probably knows that too, because he pulls away, fishing for his wallet. He hands Fernando the payment and Fernando does not count the amount. Not until the door falls shut behind him. David paid a bit extra and Fernando wonders if David counts each of their kisses and touches. Ass groping for free, kissing for a fifty... The though makes him so sick that he promises himself to make David loose track on counting next time. Fuck. He’s in too deep.
…
He glances at the clock. It’s way too early to be up. Unfortunately, whoever is calling him is PERSISTENT. Like it is URGENT. And Fernando sighs and sits on his bed and blindly reaches to his phone on the table, managing to knock something over in the process. He doesn’t care, he’ll count the damages in the MORNING.
“Are you doing anything this weekend?”
“David,” Fernando acknowledges sleepily.
“Yes, it’s me. Fer, do you already have plans for the weekend?”
Fernando blinks into the darkness of his bedroom. “Eh, not really.”
“Awesome. Do you... do you do the escort services as well?”
“WHAT?”
“It’s just that we have this stupid family dinner thing and I–”
Fernando stifles a yawn. “Whaaat? David, like, seriously?”
“Yes, seriously. Money is not an issue.”
And okay, Fernando is awake NOW. “I can’t,” he replies.
“Why not? Fer, all those looks you give me–“
“Oh my god!” Fernando shrieks gasps. He’s so totally screwed.
“– you are such a good actor, man, really! No one will be able to tell. Please?”
Oh. Not screwed, then. David doesn’t know. Good. Actually, no. Notgoodnotgoodnotgood – he’s totally, utterly royally screwed because David has this hopeful tone in his voice and Fernando can picture David biting his lower lip, waiting for the answer, probably soothing his bedcovers with his free hand. Fernando knows he won’t be able to say no. “Don’t you have anyone better to play your boyfriend?”
“You’re perfect,” comes David’s immediate reply. Oh fuck.
“How long do I have to, errr...” Fernando makes a vague gesture with his hand, forgetting that David can’t see him over the phone. David gets it anyway.
“It’s just this weekend, Fer.”
Just the weekend, Fer, no problem at all. J-U-S-T THE WEEKEND!
Fernando has a million and one question. “No sex?” (He did not really asked that, had he? Like that would make any difference, he’s already decided.)
“At my parent’s house?!! Oh my god, no! Seriously, all you have to do is just stick around, act like you are head over heels for me and you’ll get to eat a lot of delicious food and as a bonus–”
Fernando is glad to hear that amused and teasing tone again. “All right then,” he interrupts. It’s still a bloody NIGHT. Shut it, half past five is definitely considered a night-time.
“Really?”
“Yes,” Fernando sighs, slipping his feet back under the blankets.
“You realise you’ll have to–”
“David,” Fernando says slowly, “you’ve just hired yourself the most perfect boyfriend possible. Just let him sleep now or he might fake a break-up with you in front of your parents.”
“He wouldn’t!”
“Wanna bet?” Fernando closes his eyes, leaning back against his pillow.
“You’re crazy. I can count on you tough, right?”
“Hmm,” Fernando hums.
“Awesome. I’ll pick you up in half an hour.”
“Hmmm.”
“You aren’t mad?” David wonders.
“Hmmmmm.”
“Fer, hey. Hey, man, don’t you dare to fall asleep. FERNANDO!”
“Huh? Yea?”
“I said I’d pick you up in half an hour.” And BEFORE Fernando can protest, he quickly adds: “You’ve already agreed.”
Fernando is silent for a while. “I hate you.”
David laughs. It’s a nice laugh. “You can get your sleep in my car. I’ll drive. And then you can sleep on the train.”
Fernando hangs up on him. And starts to panic. Seriously, what’s he going to wear?! And he needs to start packing like ten minutes ago.
…
The train isn’t much comfortable either because some spoiled brat is being LOUD all morning and by the time he finally shuts up (Fernando imagines someone lost it and sliced the kid’s throat and it’s a very, very comforting thought that there are still people who care), Fernando is no longer feeling sleepy. David laughs at him; Fernando’s lips turn into a smile at that. (David’s smiles are infectious, you know?)
Anyway, the trip doesn’t last as long as Fernando wishes it would. He doesn’t mind having David around just for himself; precious time when David doesn’t need anything from him and simply is there. (Would you stop reminding him of the actual purpose of their trip?! He’s trying very hard to ignore that. Thank you.)
“Here we go,” David sighs and reaches for the doorbell. (Oh, so much for ignoring.)
Fernando sneaks his hand around David’s waist. David tenses and Fernando uses the time to place a reassuring peck on David’s cheek. That’s the moment when the front door is thrown open, revealing David’s mother, who is waving her arms and smiling brightly. That beaming smile is very familiar, Fernando notes and his stomach twists.
“David! Welcome home, honey!” She exclaims, pulling David into a hug and Fernando has to let go of him.
Once she stops fussing over David (You look so tired, do you get enough sleep? No, it’s not just because of all the travelling. I can tell. You’re so thin! Are you eating properly? Aren’t you hungry? You must be hungry!), she turns to Fernando and she doesn’t look hostile at all, which surprises Fernando. She looks happy and friendly and curious. “Hello Fernando, David said he’d be bringing you along.”
Fernando greets her politely and she laughs, tells him to quit the formalities and gives him a quick hug as well. She leads them inside and she’s practically bouncing with excitement and Fernando wonders if David can also be like that when he’s not his usual heartless self. Fernando tries not to stare much at everything. There are photographs on the walls, photographs of David and his family – some more recent and some less. At many of them, David’s expression is captivatingly unguarded and Fernando wishes to see that joyful grin on David’s face when it’s just the two of them.
The house actually looks and smells like HOME and love. Fernando realises it’s nothing like the minimalistic impersonal/clinical perfection of his parent’s house.
They enter the living room and someone – David’s dad, though they can’t see him yet – shouts: “So where is the brave and handsome young man you’ve promised us?”
David’s mother laughs and says that both boys are here. A head emerges from behind the armchair and the newspaper rustle, tossed aside. “Hello boys,” David’s dad waves at them and Fernando suddenly feels like he’s twelve. (Or five. Whatever.)
David turns a lovely shade of pink, which amuses both his mother and Fernando. David’s dad turns his attention back to his newspaper and David’s mother disappears into the kitchen, telling David to take Fernando to his old room and get some rest before lunch will be served.
David grabs Fernando’s arm and drags him upstairs and Fernando wonders how he’ll survive the weekend.
…
Fernando tries not to think about how he nearly made an ass of himself during the lunch – they set a bowl in front of him and he was just about to ask for a towel so he could dry his hands after he would wash them, when David elbowed him and only then Fernando noticed that no, it’s not a water, it’s a soup. Oh. He also had to remind himself that he doesn’t need to sit straight and watch his elbows. And not only was he allowed to talk; he was expected to join the conversation. *puzzlement and awe*
Fernando tries not to think about how he nearly knocked David over when David paused at the top of the staircase as they were climbing up. David pointed at him with one finger – “I was just about to say that you’ll have to deal with me, but I see it’s actually the other way around, Fer.”
So, um, he does not think about that at all. Or about the lump in his throat that threatened to choke him when he heard David use that commanding tone on his sister – “Don’t talk back to our mother, young lady.”
What a weekend this will be, Fernando sighs.
“Fer?”
Fernando turns his head to David. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“Why aren’t you?” David whispers back.
Fernando doesn’t have an answer for that.
“Why are you doing this?” David’s voice is quiet and Fernando looks up, trying to catch David’s expression.
“Doing what, David?”
“Why are you doing this?”
They both know what they are talking about and Fernando wonders how many times they’ll have to have this conversation before David would drop it.
“Why are you doing this?” David repeats, even softer this time; it sounds more like a wonder than a prying question. Like David cares.
“You know why I have to do this,” Fernando grits through his teeth. He is careful not to let his tone slip. It's safer to hide behind his mask. This is dangerous, too dangerous, and he has a lot to lose.
He couldn’t stand it if David was to make fun of him. If David just orders him to pack his things and leave, what will he do?! (Fernando can always go back to his old life – but he doesn’t want that. He wants David. And he doesn’t want David to be paying him anything.)
Fernando bites his lip. The question slips out anyway. “Why are you doing this?”
David is silent for so long that Fernando thinks David fell asleep again. But no such luck: “My family – It’s just that I want to make them happy, you know? They want me to be happy and this is the least I can do for them.”
“Don’t you think they’d much rather see you happy for real?”
David glares at him, Fernando can tell from the clipped tone of David’s voice. “They don’t know it isn’t for real.”
Fernando still doesn’t see how that’s fair and he’d swap his parents for David’s ANYTIME, grrr! But it’s impossible to scowl at David when he is suddenly giving those sad vibes.
Fernando is saved from the conversation when his phone buzzes. Sergio’s name flashes on the screen. Relieved, he dives reaches to pick it up.
…
Sergio is CHEERFUL. (≥Past tipsy.) That’s actually a good sign. It’s Friday night, after all. (Technically, it’s already Saturday, but whatever.) Fernando is rather gleeful that Sergio has NOTHING better to do when bored.
“Hi Sergio, what’s up?” Fernando crosses the room, glad for the excuse to put some distance between him and David.
“I was shopping for presents!” Sergio exclaims and Fernando’s mood improves instantly. (It’s like a miracle. Except it’s not. It’s just Sergio. Sergio The Soulmate.)
“At quarter to two in the morning?”
Sergio laughs like Fernando is the biggest idiot on the plant. Perhaps he is.
“Mate, don’t tell me you’re already worrying about Christmas.”
Sergio is silent, which says a lot.
“Wow. But it’s like – it’s August!”
“Of course it’s August, Fernando. You high or something?” Sergio’s concerned tone makes Fernando cackle. (Which doesn’t help Sergio’s suspicion at all.)
“So what did you buy, Sergio?” Fernando attempts the serious tone. He feels David’s curious gaze on him but he refuses to acknowledge it and studies the bookshelves instead. (Even if it’s too dark to actually see anything.)
“A t-shirt... no wait, it’s awesome! For Visi. Dude, you remember–?”
“Yes, I remember... Visi,” Fernando chooses carefully. He doubts ever forgetting Visi. Sergio sighs happily but doesn’t say more. “So, a t-shirt?” Fernando prompts.
“T-shirts don’t hurt when they hit your head,” Sergio reasons and okay, Fernando can’t argue with that.
With a vague suspicion, he asks: “What does the t-shirt say?”
“You won’t laugh?” Sergio whispers loudly and Fernando’s lips twitch.
“Pinky swear,” Fernando whispers back just as loudly.
“I ♥ my vagina,” Sergio titters.
Fernando snorts with laughter and OH MY GOD, they are both going to hell.
Anyway, Fernando is still having random fits of giggling AGES after he finished the call. David is curious, of course he is, but he is polite/crazy enough not to ask. Fernando doesn’t really know how he could ever explain it so he doesn’t even try. Fernando is nested on the bed again, turning his head into the pillow to muffle his most recent fit of giggles. (Caused by imagining the present harmlessly bouncing off Sergio’s ducking head to the accompanying tones of It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year.)
David props his head on one elbow and watches Fernando’s lost battle with the uncontrollable laughter.
“Sergio,” Fernando eventually wheezes, considering it pretty much self-explanatory.
“You don’t have to tell me. Do whatever you want,” David snaps, turning his back to Fernando.
Fernando’s laughter dies on his lips. Did he miss something? Weird.
“Oookay. Good night,” Fernando drawls and his stomach clenches when doesn’t get a response.
…
Fernando chokes on his drink and has to fight down the urge to strangle SOMEONE. He whips around and sees an elderly lady whose name he doesn’t recall. She is looking at him disapprovingly. HAG, HAG, HAG. Damn it, what was her name again? He was introduced to a lot of people at the family reunion thing this evening and he doubts he’d be able to even recognise anyone if he were to run into them again.
HAG, HAG, HAG. Oh fuck, think! Quickly! “I’d never cheat on David,” Fernando answers firmly because he thinks it would be true, were they actually dating. *le sigh*
The lady purses her lips and twirls her glass in her fingers before taking a sip. “I have this bad feeling about you.”
“I’m sorry,” Fernando offers, not knowing what to say and not wanting to offend anyone from David’s family. (Fucking old hags included.)
“You’re not,” the lady informs him. “I’ve heard about–”
Luckily, Fernando never learns what she head. David’s sister appears out of nowhere, exclaiming loudly: “Oh, there you are! We’ve been looking for you everywhere!”
She takes the lady by her elbow and leads her away, chattering happily. Once they’re in a safe distance, she steals a look over her shoulder to roll her eyes at Fernando in conspiracy. Fernando grins and goes to talk to David’s mother. He noticed her earlier, standing alone and watching the people – her family – with a small smile on her lips. He didn’t dare talking to her earlier but now she seems less threatening than the rest of the family inquisition.
They talk for a while and Fernando is charmed. She is nothing like his polite but always so RESERVED mother. She tells him stories about David’s youth as Fernando searches with his eyes for David. David catches his gaze from across the garden, his eyebrow rising slightly when he notes who is Fernando talking to. And then David SMILES at Fernando. *melting, melting, melting* And Fernando is hit by a sudden realisation and his stomach drops.
“– You really do like him, don’t you?” David’s mother asks him out of the blue, interrupting herself in the midsentence.
“Yes, of course I do,” Fernando responds truthfully, glad that the way he blushes can be misleading.
“His other boyfriends never liked him, you know?”
Fernando’s heart clenches – how he is supposed to respond to that?!
“I’m sorry, I must have had a drink too many, I shouldn’t have said that,” she says, shifting her weight and crossing her arms.
Fernando quickly catches her arm, covering her hand with his. “It’s all right, you can tell me anything.” He flashes her one of his nicest smiles.
She smiles back and he lets go of her hand. She pats his cheek and affectionately brushes his hair out of his eyes and tries to tuck it behind his ear. She fails miserably and they both laugh.
“You are an amazing person, Fernando.” She leans in to give him a hug. “I’m so glad he found you,” she murmurs.
“Yes, me too,” Fernando replies and realises it’s true. It’s always been, maybe from the very first night at the club.
…
David does the puppy-eyes thing. He then proceeds to lowers his head, resting it against Fernando’s shoulder and tugging Fernando even closer. Fernando is not magically transformed into a puddle of mush. Definitely not.
Soon, too soon, David removes his arms from Fernando’s neck, wraps them around his hips and steers them out of the sight. Then he pushes Fernando away, glaring. “Just stop it, okay?”
Fernando gapes. “Stop what?”
“The looks. The smitten looks you always give me, the small touches and the kisses. It’s like you fucking mean it! Or the way you say my name as if it really means something to you.”
“But that’s what we’ve agreed on!” Fernando objects, his heart pounding.
“Not when they are out of sight!” David hisses. “Why do you do that?”
“Because I really mean it,” Fernando NEARLY blurts out. “Well, you hired me to do it, didn’t you? And it’s not like I don’t need the money,” Fernando says bitterly.
“Then just drop the act, would you? It’s driving me insane. It’s disgusting. You’re a whore so keep your sleazy pretending to yourself.”
(Technically, Fernando used to be a rent boy. He doesn’t feel like pointing it out.) “But you’ve paid me to–“
“You’re my little bitch, so behave like one. And shut the fuck up!” David spits angrily.
“But–” Fernando whines.
“Shut up!”
If Fernando is HURT! offended, he doesn’t let it show. He does not. He huffs in annoyance and crosses his arms. Pff!
David leads him into his old room and shuts the door close behind them. Then he turns to Fernando. *gulp*
David closes the distance between them and Fernando flinches away. David shoves him a little, so they stagger backwards. Fernando’s arms shoot out to grab on David in attempt to steady himself. Or maybe he wants to push David off but his hands end up resting on David’s chest as they collide with the wall. Fernando feels the even heartbeat under his palm. “Let me go,” he growls.
Grabbing Fernando’s hands, David pushes them off and pines them above Fernando’s head. “I told you to shut up.” He keeps Fernando still with nearly bruising grip.
Fernando opens his mouth in a silent gasp and his eyes widen.(Somehow, it’s even worse than David pining him down to the floor.)
“Do I make you nervous?” David smirks, his voice dangerously low. Fernando tries to yank his hands FREE, but David only tightens his fingers around Fernando’s wrists, repeating: “Do I make you nervous?”
Fernando nods once. It’s just a short jerk of his head but David seems to be satisfied.
“Good,” David acknowledges. “Do you want your money?”
Fernando twitches but remains silent. David is looking at him like he expects an answer, so Fernando nods again. (Maintaining dignity is overrated anyway. Surviving is what counts.)
Fernando thinks they’ll negotiate new rules and he is prepared to make it work (or get punished). But David doesn’t set new rules. “Well, here is your payment,” David intones, suddenly shifting his grasp so he is holding both Fernando’s wrists with one hand. With his other hand, David fishes out the money from God knows where, and tugs at Fernando’s jeans and shorts. David shoves the banknotes down his shorts, his hand patting Fernando’s belly twice before retreating.
Fernando blushes, trying hard NOT to recall the last time he was this humiliated. He desperately wishes for the earth to open up and swallow him. It doesn’t happen, of course. It never does when you need it. “David,” he tries to say and it comes out more like a moan than anything else. Won’t someone please...?
“Get your money and get out of my sight.”
Fernando blinks his eyes open, not even realising he closed them. David looks determined; his jaw clenched, shoulders set. The usual warmth in his eyes is replaced by an icy glare. (He is still holding Fernando by his wrists, though.)
Fernando doesn’t feel like losing, though. “Do you want use me like he used you?” He’s bluffing, he doesn’t even know who HE is, but he’s put together bits from what he’s learned about David and he HAS TO TRY.
(Yesss! It works!)
David releases him immediately and pushes him away. Fernando slides down against the wall and it gives David enough time to stomp off. Fernando stares after him, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.
(No. It doesn’t.)
At least, Fernando gets to stay until the family gathering is over. (That isn’t enough to stop the tears from spilling over.)
…
On the train back home, Fernando alternates between snoring and drooling on David’s shoulder. (He doesn’t know that, okay?!) David lets him. Then they get into David’s car and Fernando chooses to stare out of the window, still refusing to talk to David. :-(
Or maybe it’s David refusing to talk to Fernando. Um. :-((
They last spoke to each other when leaving David’s parent’s house. Leaving wasn’t a big fuss, thank God. Everyone just assumed they’ll be see David and Fernando soon again. (How wrong, Fernando thought bitterly as David jerked his hand away from him the moment they were out of sight.)
So, they reach Fernando’s flat and David helps Fernando with his bags which is rather nice of him.
Fernando unlocks the door and is just about to tell David to fuck off when Xabi appears in the hall.
Some serious gaping follows and is only (rudely!) interrupted by some chick appearing behind Xabi, wearing (ONLY!) Xabi’s button down t-shirt (long story; but you get the idea).
Turns out Fernando sort of isn’t welcome right now. Yeah, Fernando gets that. But he’s still standing there in disbelief, rooted to the floor, his mouth dropped open.
At least, David really IS a nice guy and he (silently) carries Fernando’s stuff back to the car. Fernando gets into the car as well. (Not so silently; cursing under his breath and STILL refusing to talk to David.)
Fernando enters David’s bedroom (sounds familiar, eh?) and David is the first to break the silence: “Look, Fer, I–“
“I’m not taking your money. And definitely not for this,” Fernando snaps at him. Oh shit, he didn’t mean to say any of that! Honestly!
“I– what?” David’s puzzlement looks genuine.
“You pay me for having sex with you and you pay me to pretend that I’m your boyfriend and now you pay me to stay here?” That? That is Fernando freaking out again.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“The question is – what’s wrong with you?!”
“Could you stop arguing with me for once?”
Oh. Well. They were arguing? Fernando never noticed. And so he does what he is used to – stays quiet and reserved.
“Fer,” David says softly.
“Okay, so what do you want from me?” Fernando asks as calmly as he can manage.
For a second or two, David just looks at him, not saying anything. A small flicker of hope flares inside Fernando. No matter how many times he told himself not to get his hopes up, he can’t help it.
He can’t help the small smile either. Which is obviously a HUGE mistake, because David’s mask slips into place almost immediately.
“I want you to get out.”
“What? But David–”
“Fernando, do yourself a favour and get the fuck out,” David tells him sternly and he isn’t looking at Fernando anymore. :’(
“And where do you suggest I go?” Fernando snaps asks.
“Fine, then I’ll go.” David turns towards the door and hurries away from his own flat. Yet again, Fernando is left alone in tears a complete puzzlement.
*sniffle*
…
“Xabi is a dick,” Sergio says without preamble.
“Um, yeah,” Fernando agrees because that’s kinda true.
“But you wanted to talk about Daaavid,” Sergio drawls, pausing only to hear Fernando’s confirmative groan. “David is a dick, too.”
Fernando flops himself down on David’s side of the bed (What?! Shut up!), facing the window. The sky is dark. “Are you reading my mind?”
“I know you.” Sergio sounds exasperated. “And I’ve told Xabi to text you but no one ever listens to me.”
“You knew?”
“About what? David being a dick? Mate, wasn’t I the one who warned you?”
“Yeah, but it sounded more like a compliment, coming from you,” Fernando deadpans.
“What can I say – I’m awesome like that.”
Fernando smiles, letting himself relax. “Pity Visi doesn’t think so.”
“Hey, hey, how do you know what she thinks?”
“How do you?”
Sergio huffs. “Weren’t we talking about you and David? Sometimes it helps to actually TALK about what you’re going through.”
“I’ve tried that, you dumbass,” Fernando hisses. “He doesn’t listen to a reason and it’s... It’s just weird, man.”
“I meant – talk to someone else about how much you love him. Someone like me,” Sergio explains with a hint of amusement in his voice.
Fernando tenses again.
“And don’t you even try to deny it. You’re so into him it hurts to watch.”
“Yeah, but he’s so cold and not interested and so distant...”
“But?” Sergio prompts.
“And he doesn’t give a fuck about what I do,” Fernando continues. There is some strange rustling noise he hears from the street below but when he looks to inspect it, the street is the same as usual.
“You shouldn’t say things like that,” Sergio admonishes.
“I’ll say what I want, Sergio! And you know I’m right. He doesn’t give a fuck. For him, I’m just as good as any other body.”
“Fernando–”
“Oh yes, right, maybe I’m better because I have all those stupid feelings he can fuck with, too,” Fernando says hotly and is glad that he can’t see Sergio’s look of disapproval.
“And don’t you dare joking about how I’m selling myself cheap or else,” Fernando warns him.
“I would never!” Sergio states so urgently that it leaves Fernando wondering.
“Do you really think it’s that obvious?” Fernando asks with a sigh.
“Yes, yes it is. More than Visi’s five o’clock shadow.”
Fernando snorts. “Thanks a lot.”
“Sergio, the incredible love advisor, at your service, anytime.”
“I love you,” Fernando laughs.
“Me and my total lack of useful advices, I know.”
“Hey, I meant that! What would I do without you?” Sergio just laughs at him, so Fernando mutters: “Oh, just shut up already!”
“Your wish is my command! Bye, bye,” Sergio says quickly before hanging up.
Pensive, Fernando watches the sky for a while until the door behind him suddenly clicks shut. Fernando twists around, horrified to see David standing there. *whimper*
David looks so stricken (and vulnerable) that Fernando doesn’t have to ask – he overheard.
Hell, he might have never left.
…
Fernando wants to scream. But he doesn’t. “Yeah, cool.” Fernando wants to get up from the bed but David stops him with a wave of his hand.
“Scoot over,” David says and sits down on the bed. Fernando twitches his leg so he isn’t touching David.
They eat in silence. It’s awkward.
Only when they finish the pizza and the sun completely sets, David FINALLY! clears his throat.
“Why don’t you talk to your family, Fer?” David asks. And Fernando doesn’t strangle him. (But it’s a close thing.)
“They usually don’t talk to me,” Fernando shrugs. Judging from David’s raised eyebrow, it’s not a reason enough for him. “You wouldn’t understand, your family is perfect.” Wow, was that jealousy in his tone?
David crosses his arms and Fernando moves even further away from him, leaning against the pillows on the bed. “They are perfect,” David agrees slowly, “that’s why I feel like I don’t fit in, most of the times.”
“But they love you,” Fernando objects. “Everyone does.” Oh. He didn’t mean to volunteer that and David is looking at him like he can’t puzzle Fernando out.
“My ex didn’t,” David says.
“Oh?” Fernando wants to remind him that it’s not his fault but he wisely keeps his mouth shut and lets David talk.
And David takes a long breath and determinedly describes the catastrophe that was his past relationship. And Fernando really wants to listen to it, hear all the details and remember everything David shares.
He wants to.
But David voice is low and pleasant and Fernando is so tired and hello – he is lying in the bed and... and...
Somewhere between David’s ex breaking David’s heart for the sixth time and humiliating him for the ninth time, Fernando falls asleep. (He doesn’t mean to, oaky???)
Fernando never learns about the exact moment when David decided that rather than letting his so called boyfriends use him for his money, he’ll be using/paying/bribing everyone else instead.
Anyway, when Fernando wakes up, he discovers that a) David’s lips are teasingly brushing against his cock and b) he can’t reach down with his hands because c) he is handcuffed to the headboard.
He groans in frustration and tries to bring himself closer to David.
David snorts. His breath is warm and his eyes sparkle as he whispers: “Good morning, Sleepyhead.”
…
“What?”
“Nothing,” comes the predictable reply. But Fernando doesn’t settle for that.
“David. What is it?”
Sooner than Fernando could even blink, David jumps out of the bed. Then he pauses, probably realising how very naked he is. He (frantically) begins searching for his clothes.
Fernando smirks lazily.
“It’s you, okay? Why don’t you just quit it? Quit pretending. Stop looking at me like that. I know you don’t mean it.”
“But David...”
“I thought – I’ve told you yesterday why I’m... and I thought you’d understand and stop taunting me. And stop repeating the same mistake I did.”
“I’m not taunting you!” Fernando raises his voice in disbelief. (How did they get into this mess AGAIN?)
“Yes you are. If you could stop being this,” he makes a vague gesture towards Fernando, “fake person and just be yourself!”
“David, I’m being myself. All the time. It’s just me.” David is still keeping the distance between them and Fernando can’t help but feel HURT. He doesn’t like talking about his stupid feelings but he can’t stand David’s accusations.
“I wish I never met you,” David mumbles and wipes his face with his hand. He doesn’t say it quietly enough, though, and Fernando hears him. He flinches.
“It was you who approached me first,” Fernando reminds him, which only seems to upset David further.
“Well, yeah. I did. Don’t know what I was thinking.”
Fernando purses his lips and says: “You were probably thinking about all the sex we could have and how fantastic it would be.”
David turns his back to Fernando as he responds: “Do you really think I just like to fuck with your feelings?”
Fernando is taken a bit aback, because he thought they weren’t talking about that.
“It feels so, sometimes,” Fernando admits after a while.
“Look, Fer. I know, okay?”
Fernando blushes. “Yeah.”
“I think,” David sighs. “We should really end this.”
“What? No, David, I–”
David turns to look at him but he ends up staring at the bed instead. “This thing. Between us. It’s not good. And if you lo– I mean, if you like him, we should end this.”
Fernando is seriously LOST. o.O
“Oh for the fuck’s sake!” David exclaims. “This, exactly this! How do you do that? Looking so hurt and baffled. You’re acting all the time. But I’ve heard you... You know, talking to him.”
“To Sergio,” Fernando supplies.
David looks pained. “Yes, Sergio.” Fernando doesn’t like the way he pronounces the name. “How can you do this to him?”
“Do what?”
“This,” David snaps, gesturing with his hand between himself and Fernando.
And then Fernando gets it. And he is so HAPPY and surprised and relieved that all he can manage is: “You’re jealous?”
Oh fuck. Definitely a wrong thing to say.
…
David shakes his head, shoulders sagging. “I thought you were a better person.”
It is not, I repeat not, a good idea to try to jump out of the bed you’re cuffed to.
Fernando settles back down with a huff and David continues to look crushed. “You’re jealous of Sergio?” Fernando repeats, not because he wants David to murder him but because he needs to be sure.
“Well? C’mon, laugh,” David says irritably. “Why do you cheat on your boyfriend? Is it the money? I could,” he gulps, “I could lend you.”
“I’m not with Sergio,” Fernando says s-l-o-w-l-y. “He’s dating someone else and it’s not like that between us.”
“I’ve heard you on the phone, Fer,” David says snappishly.
“But you don’t get it!” This is urgent and Fernando desperately needs David to understand but he can’t came up with the right words, ARGH! “Untie me.”
David blinks at him.
“Just fucking untie me!” Fernando barks.
David leans down to him, unlocks the cuffs and lets his hand touch Fernando for a long moment. Fernando gazes up at him and when their looks meet, David lets go of Fernando abruptly moves out of Fernando’s personal space.
Fernando gets to his feet, rubbing at his wrists. He’s had enough of this and he needs to say it, needs to make things clear. Err, taking back his part time job with tedious night shifts wouldn’t be that bad, right? RIGHT?!
Fernando runs his hand through his hair and exhales: “Look, I meant what I said. The whole time, it’s been just me, no acting.”
The silence stretches. Fernando tries to regain control of his breathing and Davidisstillnotsayinganything,damnit. “I should go,” Fernando manages.
“No!”
Fernando glances at David but David avoids Fernando’s gaze and Fernando thinks how much of an idiot he managed to make of himself. “I should really go.”
“No, you don’t have to. I mean, Fer–”
Fernando bites his lip and waits. He needs David to say it.
“Stay?” David says, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “You were telling the truth, right? I didn’t know that. I thought... I–”
Fernando takes a hesitant step closer. “I’m not going anywhere. All right?”
David finally meets Fernando’s eyes. David’s eyes are warm and tentatively hopeful – and easy to read, obviously. “I miss you when you’re not around.”
Fernando goes all: \o/ \o/ \o/
“Me too,” he admits.
So, there MIGHT be a not so small chance, even after all those fuck-ups. Fernando is willing to take the risk. He smiles. And this time, David smiles right back at him. And it’s REAL. Since aiming for perfection only brings disappointment; this is much better. Fernando grins into David’s neck as he (fucking finally!) brings their bodies together in an bones crushing embrace. It’s all arms and legs and tongue. Ummm.
Next thing? Up against the wall.
“You’ll be begging for mercy,” David murmurs against Fernando’s shoulder. Fernando pretty much doubts that and he raises his eyebrow at David challengingly, drinking in the sight of him.
David smirks in reply. Challenge accepted.
Yes, they definitely lived happily ever after, don’t worry.