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Her grip tightened around the magazine, the laminated paper crinking. Other racers were stronger than her, more competent, more worthwhile. Others didn’t need to rely on blessings, on fortune or luck. She glanced back at what it said.
“She doesn't take any pride in herself as an athlete or show any sense of the showmanship her fans desire.”
Maybe they were right. She stood on a small bridge over the pond, one hand holding the venomous truth written down for everyone to see, the other gripping the barrier separating her from the dark water below.
“As a racing fan, I find it difficult to even call her a proper Umamusume. She's such a lazy scatterbrain.”
She shouldn’t be around tainting her sister’s legacy. Her sister who tried her best, who cared for her, who looked out for her, who did everything she could—she shouldn’t taint the memory of that by still being around. They were right, she’s a lazy scatterbrain, nothing more than that.
“Matikanefukukitaru was almost unbearable to watch.”
They wouldn’t have said those things about her sister. They wouldn’t have said those things about the racer whose liveries she donned, nor about the goddess she served.
“It’s all over... I should just chuck myself in and let the waters claim me…” She let out an agonized chuckle. “Let the fish eat me piece by piece.”
She took off her shoes and folded her socks neatly on top, placing them by the edge of the barrier with care and finality. Climbed up on that barrier, teetering over its edge.
Part of her wished somebody, something, anything would stop her, but nobody came.
She wondered if her older sister would be happy to meet her again, even if she never deserved such a reunion. She missed her so much. Suzuka would be better off without her, too. Suzuka would be happy without Fukukitaru saying cruel things to her, without being dragged down.
The koi swam around where her shadow rested on the pond, as if waiting to be fed. As if expecting more. She could feed them alright. Do something worthwhile for once.
She fell forward, tumbling past any point of return. Her body sucked in a involuntary gasp at the sudden feeling of cold water enveloping her. A frigid whip-like shock striking her whole body. She tried to suck in a deep breath, inhaling instead a mouthful of ice-cold water.
Regret poured in with the water. She desperately wished she hadn’t done this yet… but what was cast could not be undone. Her hands scrabbled on the bridge's slime-slick pier. Her hands, stiffened by the icy water, couldn’t grip onto the stone, couldn’t pull herself to safety. She thrashed and splashed, panicked noises pouring out, yet still, nobody came.
Her arms slammed against the water, her legs kicking desperately, but she couldn’t keep her head up. She tried to gasp for air, suck in whatever she could, but only water came in. Her throat locked up. A would-be gagging cough welled out of her, muffled by the water, the lake swallowing her whole.
She felt her orange hair bobbing out pathetically over the waterline but couldn't push her mouth and nose up into the air long enough to get a breath. She kicked, twisted, tried to scream. A gurgled noise echoed out. Guilt like a thousand knives plunged into her, harsher and more agonizing than the water. She didn’t want to die. She tried to scream. She tried to scream with the little she had left in her.
Nobody came to help.
“How tragic.” A familiar voice called, standing atop the water just out of reach. Fukukitaru thrashed more, tried to get closer. “But I guess that’s the fate you’ve brought upon yourself. What a shame, you were great entertainment.” Shiraoki squatted beside Fukukitaru, the latter catching glimpses of the palpable look of disgust on Shiraoki’s borrowed features—or, at least, a mockery of an expression of disgust, as the face twisted and warped in an impossible way, like the face wasn't actually attached properly to muscles underneath.
Nobody came to help.
She could feel her body giving up. Her chest burnt; she couldn’t hold on for any longer. Her struggling dimmed away, like embers finally losing their glow, as her motions grew more sloppy. She sunk deeper. Betrayal stung deeper and hurt more than the water forcing its way down her throat and into her lungs.
Through the water, she could still hear her cold and uncaring god clearly, looking down as the surface began to still. “It’s been a pleasure, Matikanefukukitaru. I’ll be seeing you in the interminable Avici Naraka.”
It’s not the fate she’ll be met with once this ordeal comes to a close, even if she doesn’t know that. Her vision grew fuzzier. Darkness pulled in, enveloping her vision. Spots of light bloomed. Her head felt heavy. All of her felt heavy. Her energy had long since been exhausted; she had no fight nor power left in her. And nobody came to help.
She didn’t want to die.
“I’ll see that they find your body while it’s still warm…” There was no sorrow in Shiraoki’s voice; the strongest emotion one could ascribe to that tone is a mild annoyance. “Stop looking at me like that. You wanted this,” she stated, matter-of-factly. “You earned this with your own volition and willpower. Who am I to deny you that?”
She didn’t want to die. Her body had no more fight left in it. She didn’t want to die, not now, not now! She tried to do anything, but nothing worked.
She didn’t want to—
“… Hm?” Suzuka paused in her morning run as she crossed the bridge over the pond, her eyes caught on something peculiar sitting by its barrier. A pair of shoes, a magazine and a small daruma doll. “Isn’t that… Fukukitaru’s?” She looked around, out into the pond.
“You.” She turned to see Fukukitaru with a dull expression and lifeless eyes. “Silence Suzuka, correct?” She stepped closer, weightless, somehow atop the water. “I’ve made sure your friend’s body is accessible. She’s washed up near the docks.” A flat, uncaring voice. She idly picked at a nail. “You should get to her while her body’s still pretty.”
“Body? But… aren’t you…?”
“No.” The face bent and twisted unnaturally, contouring and warping into an approximation of offense. “I’m not. Do not equate me with a mortal.” She pointed towards the docks. “Now, now. Go and get that corpse before the blow flies start feasting on it.” It let out something similar to a chuckle. “Not even the fish wanted to nibble on her, but the flies and beetles aren’t as picky as they are.” A dense fog had settled in.
“What are you?!” Suzuka snapped out, stepping up onto the lower section of the barrier. “What did you do to Fukukitaru? What did you do to her?!” Shock shattered into anger and agony.
“Me?” The thing that looked like Matikanefukukitaru leapt weightlessly over the retaining wall, landing perfectly on the top of the barrier. “She did it to herself. She jumped in out of her own will, drowned herself out of her own free will.” It leaned back, not falling, even though it should have at that angle.
Suzuka grabbed at its ankle, yanking it towards her. It was cold; it felt not of skin or of anything alive or dead. It tumbled to the ground, seemingly unfazed. “What did you do to her!?” The fog grew thicker. Her hands wrapped around its neck. “How dare you!? How dare you leave her to die!?” Tears dripped down. It seemed to realize what was happening, and a strange expression appeared on its face.
“That’s new. Mortals like you shouldn’t…” It let out a discordant hum. “You have potential.” It spoke, mouth moving out of sync with its words, an unreadable lilt wrapped in her words. “I can bring her back. Even if I have done her no harm, I can do it. On one condition.” The face warped into a reflection of Suzuka’s own. “You just need to let me take the reins on your fate.” It stared back with its stolen guise. “It’s a simple exchange, is it not? One for another.”
Suzuka did not respond, her voice caught in her throat.
“I can let her see that other side to speed like you wish as well. I can let her enjoy that all-so-beautiful green you hold so dearly.” Its voice mimicked Suzuka’s. “You just need to accept.”
The air stayed stagnant. “What are you waiting for?” It seemed to grow impatient. Its ear twisted awkwardly—as if it was trying to mimic an annoyed ear flick. “I can already sense the flies and beetles eating away at her husk.” It let out a noise similar to a tongue click. “I see you want her to have nothing to come back to. How cruel.” It stood up, shaking Suzuka off of its stolen frame. “Hm. I guess you are right, you are just a burden. You have the ability to make things right but you refuse to.”
Its presence overwhelming, suffocating. It stared with eyes inhuman. “Here’s your last chance, Silence Suzuka. Save her or let her rot.” Like predator and prey. “Choose her fate with your own two hands.”
Suzuka opened her mouth.
…
“Oh? I see.” Its face congealed and shifted into a smile. “Good. Very, very good.”