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“Okay Jaeyoonie, are you ready to see Dada play his last game?” Shotaro asked his eight-month-old son, waiting so patiently in his crib to be back in his mother’s arms. Shotaro had put him inside for only a moment while he got his baby chest carrier properly adjusted to his body, making sure all the straps were tightened and correct. It didn’t fit his body the same way it fit Sungchan’s, who was the last person to wear it just this morning while he did their Saturday morning grocery shopping.
Shotaro had been asleep then, Sungchan taking the chance to let his fiancé sleep in when he could. Jaeyoon had been waking up at 5:30 for the past two weeks and Shotaro was always first to respond despite Sungchan begging him to take turns. But Shotaro was extremely stubborn and always took every opportunity to spend time with his baby, even at ungodly hours. But this Saturday morning had been different, exhaustion most definitely getting to him because he had not heard the first few sniffles Jaeyoon always made when he began to wake up. Luckily, Sungchan had and had sprinted to the nursery, immediately consoling their son and getting him ready for the day after his first bottle.
He had given Shotaro a few extra hours to sleep, had wandered around the house cleaning up what he could before leaving to arrive at the grocery store right as they opened. He had done their weekly grocery shopping so it was one less thing for them to worry about. It was only when he returned home with reusable grocery bags in hand that he found a groggy yet panicked looking Shotaro, phone in hand and moments from calling Sungchan to ask where he and their son had disappeared to. That had been at 10 in the morning, both men shocked Shotaro had slept that long, but grateful he had grabbed that much needed extra sleep. Shotaro had been upset at first, scolding Sungchan for going without any help, but his frown had soon been replaced with a grateful smile, happy he didn't have to go grocery shopping in the end. It was one of his least favorite things to do.
Sungchan was an angel, the best partner Shotaro could ever ask for in his life. There was no one else he could ever love more… besides Jaeyoon of course.
Hearing his father's name, Jaeyoon babbled with a happy shriek filling his nursery, bouncing up and down from where he stood with his chubby hands gripping the railing of his crib. He had recently started pulling himself up on higher surfaces, including his crib, and they had needed to lower his mattress so he wouldn’t fall out. It had been a bittersweet moment, just another reminder that their son was growing up right before their eyes, all too fast, “Dada, Dada!” he screamed, able to recognize who they were talking about.
“Yes, I know! Dada!” Shotaro screeched back, lifting his son out of his crib and placing a loud and exaggerated kiss on his chubby cheek, “We’re going to see Dada play and we’re going to cheer for him and he is going to win,” Shotaro assured as he carefully slipped his son into the baby carrier strapped to his chest, “It’s his last game. He really needs us there to be his good luck charm,” Jaeyoon screeched again, a gummy grin shining save for the small collection of four teeth that had recently grown in. Shotaro swooned, noting how much his smile looked like Sungchan’s smile already. But then again, Jaeyoon resembled Sungchan almost perfectly, just smaller and chubbier. Shotaro had seen his fiancé’s baby pictures, and they were nearly identical. He had basically created another Sungchan, something he absolutely loved.
Once fully strapped in, Shotaro glanced down at his son on his chest and felt his heart burst with love for him. Rosy, chubby cheeks framed his beautiful face and his deep brown doe eyes sparkled as he looked up at Shotaro with such unconditional admiration. It was the same look Sungchan always gave him at any given moment, looking so in love and smitten with Shotaro. He really was his father's son. Shotaro ducked his head and placed a kiss on his forehead, wrapping his arms around his son and holding him closer than the carrier could, one hand cupping the back of his head as he twirled his index finger in his thick, dark hair. Shotaro smiled so lovingly, happier than he had ever felt before in just this small moment. Jaeyoon could always brighten a room with his smile and sweet personality. He had a heart as big as his body.
“We’re going to have so much fun. I’m sad you won’t remember this night, Yoonie,” Shotaro pouted as he reached behind Jaeyoon on his changing table and grabbed the blue and white knit hat he had set down to put on his son once he was in his carrier. He pulled it over his dark hair, making sure his forehead was covered and that all his warmth was kept close, “It’s an important night for Dada. He’ll want to remember this game forever.”
This was Sungchan’s last soccer game of his senior year and it just so happened to be during the last round of their championship tournament. He was in division 1, a spot he had competed for since his last year in high school to prove he deserved his place in the highest rank of their university. Sungchan took soccer seriously and Shotaro had seen Sungchan’s dedication to his sport since they met three years ago. Shotaro had been unexpectedly pregnant during the last season, but once they both confirmed that they were kind of in love with the idea of having a baby together, it had been a very welcomed change in their lives. He had been five months along during last year’s final tournament, and he had watched in horror as Sungchan’s team lost to the opposing team from another university after a very close call. It had been a rough night for everyone, sad they had ended all of their efforts to get second place. Shotaro had still been so proud, letting Sungchan know that he had done an amazing job and that he was still his #1 fan.
Sungchan had promised this year was going to be different, and he claimed it was because they now had Jaeyoon with them. He had claimed Shotaro and Jaeyoon were going to help him and his team win the tournament and who was Shotaro to argue with him? He had happily accepted the term ‘good luck charm’, and he just hoped that them both being there would at least help Sungchan’s motivation. He was the team’s striker, a very high stress position, and he would need all the luck he could get.
Shotaro made sure Jaeyoon was bundled up, complete with his handmade hat, mittens, thick wool socks, and a mini version of Sungchan’s jersey stretched over his thick winter coat, with large lettering for his number, ’23’, visible so he could represent his father on the field. Shotaro was scared about his son freezing and had made sure to bundle him in many layers, and he would most likely drape a fluffy blanket around him once they were in the bleachers, making sure no part of him touched the cold November air. They were a week away from December, and once soccer season was over, they were going to get the apartment ready for Christmas and all the festivities. It would be Jaeyoon’s first Christmas, one both his parents were greatly looking forward to.
Shotaro checked the bus times to make sure he wouldn’t be late and grabbed his apartment keys and diaper bag before heading towards the front door to make the commute to the university soccer field. On the way to the door, Shotaro glanced into the full length mirror that hung on the wall, stopping in his tracks as he took in the sight of himself and his son.
All he could see of Jaeyoon was the back of his head, knit hat covering his ears and neck while his little socked feet kicked happily. He could really only see the sleeves of the soccer jersey he was wearing, but luckily his father’s jersey number was printed on them and peaking out of the carrier, a silent tribute to his team, the same jersey Shotaro wore now, momentarily covered by the winter coat he had just slipped on. Shotaro’s look was complete with the numbers ’23’ painted on his right cheek, while the other had a very large and bright ‘JSC’ written proudly in blue and white, their university's school colors. He also wore a blue and white beanie, blue and white mismatched and tall socks, and held a blue and white banner with Sungchan's name written proudly on it. Shotaro was doing everything in his power to be the obnoxious fiancé at his fiancé's soccer game.
It was too cute of a look to pass a photo op, smiling widely to himself as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and quickly snapped a few shots of him and his son, jerseys and face paint mostly visible so he could send photo proof to Sungchan. The photo was a mess of white and blue, perfectly followed by a scattering of white and blue heart emojis in the text. Once sent, Shotaro pocketed his device and quickly tucked the banner between his body and Jaeyoon's, fitting perfectly.
"Okay, honey bear. Let's go," Shotaro chirped, leaving the apartment and locking the door behind him, readjusting his bag on his shoulder and his son on his chest as they began their journey to their final destination.
Shotaro and Sungchan had really struck out when they found out the public bus stop was right in front of their apartment building, making the commute shorter than it had to be, something that had become a blessing in disguise when they found out Shotaro was pregnant a few months later. Shotaro felt a lot of physical pain in his rapidly changing body, and moving in general was a chore, so he thanked whatever god there was that he had been lucky enough to shorten his time on his feet. It made traveling easier, giving him more of a reason to leave the apartment despite wanting nothing more than to lay down and spend the day indoors. Even the early days of Jaeyoon’s life were spent out of their home and he had probably ridden the bus more than anyone ever in his short life. He had become a regular and familiar face on their public bus.
Shotaro stood among the small crowd of people with Jaeyoon in his arms, happily bouncing him in place. Jaeyoon was still babbling, trying to chew on his mitten covered hand, frustrated grunts breaking his song every so often. Jaeyoon would get bored of this position by the time they made it to campus, which at that point Shotaro would move him to face forward so he could watch the game. For now, he was happy and content resting his head on his mother’s chest. Shotaro cuddled him close, absolutely loving being a mother to such an adorable and clingy baby.
It didn’t take long before the bus arrived on time, a stream of people exiting the vehicle before other passengers filed in to find their seats. Unfortunately, the cabin was extremely full and just as Shotaro was accepting the fact that he would need to stand and hold onto the nearest support bar the duration of his ride, someone easily offered him their seat, which he took quickly and gratefully. It reminded him of the days when he was pregnant, the same treatment given to him when he had been huge and round. The ride to campus was usually crowded, but other students heading to campus always took pity on him, offering their seats with bright smiles. The daily commute to school wasn’t all that bad when he had a village silently supporting him.
Shotaro had gone to classes up until the day he gave birth, waters luckily breaking as he was getting ready to leave for his 8 am psychology lecture, seconds away from putting his shoes on and walking out the door. He had written and sent a very exciting email to his all of his professors to let them know he was in labor and could not attend classes, too giddy to even worry about disappointing them with his absences. Luckily, he had been met with many congratulations, no objections to his obviously excused and justified absence, many promises to not worry and instead have a healthy and safe delivery.
Shotaro had miraculously graduated a few months later. Giving birth in the middle of his final semester of his senior year had been a difficult transition to navigate in many ways. Despite his and his doctors best efforts, his natural child birth took a turn that resulted in an emergency c-section, leaving him out of commission for longer than he had liked or planned for. Recovery had been excruciating with many doctors visits and treatments, and Shotaro was only ever at home or at the hospital. He had been able to work solutions out with his professors and instead of attending class in person, they altered his education by switching to strictly online classes. Video calls had really been a life saver and Jaeyoon had been a sleepy guest in all of them.
Shotaro hadn’t been able to work for months due to his recovery and their small baby at home, so it had been up to Sungchan to provide for them with the help of their combined savings. Sungchan had worked a lot in those first few months, taking up extra shifts at his on-campus job to help pay for their necessities, and he had done all that while still attending all his classes while also going to soccer practice, ending the day by coming home and spending time with his family. He had been so busy that he had suggested he quit soccer altogether so he could spend more time at home, but it was Shotaro who had adamantly refused, telling the younger that there was no way he could just drop his passion like that. Shotaro had quickly picked up a job he could complete while at home and had returned the favor to Sungchan once his final fall season started with conditioning. He had needed to cut back on work hours but Shotaro had replaced them and had happily done so.
There had been a difficult road leading up to this point, but everything was worth it when Shotaro could see the pure joy on Sungchan’s face when he played soccer. He thrived and excelled at the sport and having him quit would have been a crime and lost potential that Shotaro would never forgive himself for stifling. This was his last year, his last game, and Shotaro was going to make it worth it and was going all out. By default, Jaeyoon was doing the same thing, and from his small giggles, he was happily joining in on the festivities.
Shotaro and Jaeyoon made it to campus early so they could find the best seat in the bleachers, nothing too high and nothing too low, searching for the spot they always occupied when they attended Sungchan’s home games. There had been twenty-two so far, and this was the twenty-third and last game of the season. Sungchan knew exactly where to look to find his family, and Shotaro always caught that first look, eyes searching for his ‘good luck charms’.
“Let’s flip you,” Shotaro addressed Jaeyoon once his son started to get fussy, legs kicking in frustration as he grew bored with staring at Shotaro’s chest. Jaeyoon was a cuddly baby, but with his newfound awareness of the world he wanted to look at it more than he wanted to look at either Shotaro or Sungchan. Shotaro longed for the days when his son would fall asleep on his chest and stay in place for hours, back when his parents were the entire world to him, but it was just as fun witnessing his baby discover the world outside of his family. Jaeyoon was learning so much so quickly and it was a marvel for both Shotaro and Sungchan to watch their son bloom into the person he was becoming.
Once settled, Shotaro and Jaeyoon sat and watched as Sungchan’s team warmed up. They were running drills like it was second nature, athletic bodies making the motions with ease as they prepared both mentally and physically for the game ahead of them. Tension was high today, and after getting to know Sungchan’s teammates over the several seasons since he started dating Sungchan, Shotaro could spot the unique show of nerves in all of their moves, jittery and anxious for the play. He watched as some of them fumbled the rhythm, or aimed the ball a little too high or low, or trip over their own feet as they built themselves up for the real thing. None of it was particularly worrying, but Shotaro could detect their doubts in each step.
Sungchan was the only one who didn’t look phased. Shotaro caught sight of his fiancé after searching for his jersey number and once he set his eyes on that familiar white and blue lettering, he didn’t dare look away. Shotaro could see the precision and practice in every move Sungchan made, purposeful in his intentions, completing his drills and stretches like it was nothing. He was completely focused and while Shotaro wanted to scream out his name and start making a scene like the annoying fiancé he was at games, he didn’t dare lead him astray. Not today of all days.
He continued to sit and watch the team warm up, busying himself by entertaining Jaeyoon and making sure the baby was warm and comfortable. More and more people began to file into the stadium, noise level growing loud enough to give anyone a headache. It was at this point that Shotaro brought out the massive, noise canceling headphones Jaeyoon hated when he first wore them but was now accustomed to after wearing them so many times. Shotaro slid them over his ears and while the baby protested at first with the batting of his hands over the padding, he soon settled and returned to chewing on the carrier wrapped around his chest. Jaeyoon was teething again, something both Shotaro and Sungchan struggled through despite them not being in the process of cutting teeth.
Just before the start of the game, Sungchan ran to the sidelines, the distance short enough for Shotaro and Jaeyoon to see defining features of his face. Shotaro pointed the man out to his son, sliding one side of the headphone over so Jaeyoon could hear him speak, “There’s Dada!” he exclaimed. He waved hello, encouraging his son to follow suit as he had just learned the skill over the weekend. Much to Shotaro’s infatuation, Jaeyoon waved back with a delighted squeal and a kick of his legs. His excited baby babble followed, repeating ‘dada’ over and over again. Shotaro was sure Jaeyoon couldn’t even see Sungchan, nor was he sure that Jaeyoon even associated the word with his father, but the sentiment was adorable and meant the world to Shotaro. Jaeyoon was a part of the audience just as much as the other onlookers, even if he didn’t know what was going on.
Sungchan looked deep in conversation with his coach, nodding along as last minute directions and game play were exchanged between him and his teammates. The announcer had already called the time and was further introducing the opposing team and their tournament stats, filling the stadium with echoing noise that reminded everyone how important this game was for the season. This would be their last pre-game huddle, a bittersweet moment that would set the tone for everything that followed. They would fight hard tonight and give this last pep talk a happy ending.
As the announcer closed in on their introductions, Sungchan’s team broke off before heading off into their on field positions, but before Sungchan could step foot past the field boundaries, he turned to face the audience in search of his fiancé and son. Both he and Shotaro almost immediately locked eyes, the task made easy as the older man made it a habit to sit in the same spot every game and as he held up his homemade sign with one hand. Sungchan never had to search long, and with his family in his sight, he pressed a hand to his mouth before quickly tearing it away, blowing them both a very enthusiastic flying kiss. Shotaro giggled in response before throwing his own and before reaching forward and quickly guiding Jaeyoon’s hand so he too could mirror the action. The parents were in the process of teaching the young baby the skill, but it had yet to stick in his muscle memory.
Jaeyoon may not have understood the action, or done a lick of it himself, but with his mother’s enthusiasm giving him energy, he squealed and kicked his legs with a wide wave of his arms, visible from where Sungchan stood because the new father beamed so brightly under the stadium lights. Seeing his son and fiancé always gave him energy, but seeing them now during such an important event had a fire burning in his chest that would fuel him the entire game.
Sungchan blew another few kisses before turning to run onto the field, cleats kicking up loose turf as he found his spot on the home side of the center circle. Once in place, he rolled and stretched his shoulders one last time as if shaking off the last bits of nerves and doubt. He clapped his hands together sharply and loudly, hyping himself up as they neared the kick-off, and once the call to start was made, Sungchan was going to drop his usual playful facade and replace it with his dedicated, focused demeanor. Shotaro had seen it many times before, but today would be his most meaningful, determined to win his very last college soccer game. He felt pride swell in his chest for the man who stood before him, a love burning bright that was endless, only grown brighter when Jaeyoon was born. Seeing Sungchan become a father had been his greatest joy, and seeing Sungchan play soccer was a close second.
Shotaro’s attention was torn from his fiancé as the referee blew their whistle with full force, obnoxious sound hurting his ears even with the distance between them. The ceremonious coin toss had just been done and it was decided that Sungchan’s team would start the kick-off. With the decision being made, Sungchan dropped his usual goofy antics and replaced them with a hard stare and his hands on his knees, braced for his next move. As the team’s striker, he stood on standby and ready at the center circle for kick-off, his last honor in his collegiate career. Shotaro’s pride burned only hotter as he watched Sungchan move across the turf with experience.
“Go Sungchan!” Shotaro called as loud as he could, obnoxiously clapping and waving his arms, trying to make a spectacle now before Sungchan would place his full attention on the game. It was one last reminder that his ‘good luck charms’ were watching and cheering him on, even if Jaeyoon was only watching from his spot strapped to Shotaro’s chest, “Go baby!”
Shotaro couldn’t see too well from where he sat, but he swore he could detect the faintest smile that softened Sungchan’s features. Shotaro smiled in return, love blooming in his features for this person he was going to spend the rest of his life with.
The stadium fell silent as they waited for the referee to call it, players standing at the ready for the beginning of the last game of the season. Shotaro felt himself hold his breath, hands clutching Jaeyoon close as the baby stirred in his spot, doing his best to entertain himself with very limited reach of anything in front of him. He continued to chew on the soft toy Shotaro had attached to his carrier with a long strap to prevent it from falling to the ground, cluelessness forgotten with how cute he was.
With a shrill and sharp blow of air, the referee called the beginning of the game with great command, resulting in Sungchan taking that step forward and kicking the ball, passing it to his right to the midfielder waiting for his transfer. Now that the game was in motion, the crowd was cheering for their respective team. Banners were flying, airhorns were blaring, the sound of the pep band down the line bellowed into the crowd, filling the stadium with even more celebratory noise.
Shotaro joined in on the chaos, cheering loudly for his fiancé with a hand instinctively holding Jaeyoon firmly in place. Jaeyoon, despite wearing his noise cancelling headphones, startled at the sudden blast of noise and movement from the entire crowd. His tiny eyes widened in surprise but soon softened as he adjusted to the small explosion of noise, arms and legs all waving and kicking in excitement as if he too was cheering for his dad. He bounced against Shotaro’s chest, leaning forward in the carrier as he moved so enthusiastically.
“Dada! Dada!” Jaeyoon shouted, chubby cheeks bunched under his bright eyes and his four teeth flashing in the light, “Dada!”
“Yeah! Go Dada, go!” Shotaro joined his son, smiling to himself as he used both hands to cup Jaeyoon’s hat covered head by the cheeks. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on the soft yarn, keeping his son close in the moment as the joy spread through him. Jaeyoon wasn’t going to remember this moment, but to have him present and a part of the memory was enough for both him and Sungchan. They would take photos together later as well so they could look back on this night and eventually show Jaeyoon once he was old enough to understand. Just to add to the photo collection, Shotaro quickly took a short video of Jaeyoon chanting his father’s name, making sure to save it in the photo album he had dedicated to his son. Sungchan would love to watch it later.
The first half of the game moved relentlessly and aggressively with both teams putting their all into their play, neither team willing to give a single inch of grace or an opening. Shotaro had watched so intently, heart skipping a beat almost every time the ball was within Sungchan’s grasp and every time a player ran up on his fiancé. Shotaro had seen countless times before how physical soccer games could get and could recall all the times Sungchan had come home bruised or with an ice pack from ruthless play. He knew it was never personal, but with the intensity and the high stakes of this particular game, every approach and every tackle felt like an attack on the younger man. Shotaro’s nerves were on fire, and he couldn’t even imagine how Sungchan was feeling now in the thick of it.
The only distraction Shotaro had to count on was Jaeyoon. The baby was handling the game very well despite the cold and how overwhelming the combination of noise, visual stimulants, and proximity of people were. This was the most crowded game of the season, more so than the first game, and Jaeyoon had never been around so many people before, but surprisingly, he was handling it very well and happily babbled in delight along with the crowd when they got excited. Every now and then, he got a tad bit fussy and whiny, something easily pacifiable that Shotaro could fix with soft bouncing in place or soft kisses to his cheeks. At some point, he was even able to bring out some cereal puffs, something his paternal grandmother had introduced to him as solids were introduced into his diet. They were a staple in their household now; even Shotaro and Sungchan liked them.
Halfway through the first half of the game, after two handfuls of cereal puffs for Jaeyoon, Sungchan had his first establishing moment during the game. His first real break as he found the ball at his toes from a bad pass from the opposite team.
Shotaro felt electricity run up his spine as Sungchan took control of the ball, body tensing and breath catching in his throat as his fiancé sprinted down the turf field, muscular and trained legs moving fast while dribbling the ball with practiced ease. Shotaro could hear Sungchan’s teammates shouting from where he sat, telling him to ‘go go go’ and to stay focused. The ball stayed practically glued to his feet as he approached the opposite team’s goal, Shotaro getting antsy with each long stride.
Sungchan was only yards away now, the other team on high alert as they moved to defend their goal. Shotaro held his breath as Sungchan pulled his leg back, aiming for a powerful kick with hopes of making a goal.
The sound of his cleats hitting the ball echoed in the stadium, and much to no one’s surprise, Sungchan scored a goal as the goalie missed catching the ball by a mere few inches. Sungchan himself threw both of his arms up in a victory celebration, yelling ‘yes’ as he made his team’s first goal of the game. Shotaro copied him, but used their son’s arm to mimic the action. His hands held Jaeyoon’s chubby fists, whooping as Sungchan made a big move for his team.
“Dadas got this, Jaeyoon,” Shotaro assured, bouncing his son as a way to comfort them both. His anxiety was picking up, something that always happened when points started getting involved. Points were inevitable and were determiners of a win, but when a goal was made, energy picked up, and there was more drive for the competition. Shotaro would never stop worrying over Sungchan, he was signing up for a lifetime of that, but with this being the finals, his anxiety was at an all time high, “He’s gonna win.”
The game continued with a surge of energy, tension tighter with each pass goal as the teams were neck in neck. By the end of the first half of the game, the two teams were tied with four goals each, and Shotaro could feel his anxiety buzzing along his skin like pins and needles. The bleachers were alive with frustration and excitement, the vibration of the bleachers evidence of that. When time was called, Shotaro stood and adjusted Jaeyoon on his body, hoisting him higher so his head was tucked right under his chin in hopes to keep the baby warmer. He shifted his blanket, wrapping it around his son’s little body and using the edges to cover what it could reach of his body. Once settled back in his arms, both Shotaro and Jaeyoon watched as their home team crossed the field to the benches.
Almost as soon as Shotaro caught sight of Sungchan, the younger man glanced up right into his eyes.
His hard features, tired and focused while dripping sweat from the heat of the game, softened as his eyes settled on his family. A smile tugged at his lips and Shotaro could see the admiration heavy in his eyes, nothing but pure joy on his face. Sungchan always looked at both Shotaro and Jaeyoon with so much love, like they were his entire world. And even during one of the most important events of his athletic career, he still had enough time to let Shotaro know he loved them without saying anything.
Shotaro waved at his fiancé, and much to his joy, Jaeyoon started waving as well, following the motion with enthusiasm and a wild flap of his arms. It may have been generous to call what he was doing a wave, but to his parents, it was exactly what they had shown him how to do. He added in a squeal, excited to interact in the best way he could understand.
Sungchan waved back with a bright laugh, eyes nearly disappearing as they turned into tight crescents. Even from where he stood, Shotaro could see the stress melt away from his body, could see Sungchan relax his shoulders and take a deep breath. With a quick swipe, grabbing the sign that sat at his side when not in use, Shotaro lifted it high in the air, cheering a quick, “Go Sungchan!” into the busy bleachers, just loud enough for Sungchan to hear and further relax knowing he had so much support on his side.
Shotaro and Jaeyoon were giving Sungchan so much energy. His ‘good luck charms’.
The second half started and both teams moved faster and played harder than they had before, desperate to overturn both teams’ chances at winning this game. The points were even most of the game, one team scoring a goal and celebrating prematurely before the other team did the same thing. It was too close a call for anyone to relax, and Shotaro only grew antsier, unable to stay sitting or standing as he tried his best to regulate himself. Even Jaeyoon could feel the stress from his mother, repeatedly fussing from time to time until Shotaro stepped in to calm him down with either a kiss to the cheek or by softly swaying from side to side. The cold was becoming a bother as well, the small baby getting irritated with the occasional gust of wind despite Shotaro’s best efforts to prevent exposure.
There was a minute left on the clock and the two teams were still tied. Shotaro felt sick to his stomach with the nerves swirling in his gut. This was Sungchan’s last game, he wanted it to be special. A win to end his season at the end of the second half would be perfect, but to think it could slip right through his grasp was a heartbreaking thought. Shotaro didn’t want that to be the case, but there was a definite chance that it could happen. He could only imagine how stressed Sungchan was.
Just when Shotaro thought he was going to break out in a nervous sweat, Sungchan ran up on a member from the opposite team, and somehow, he missed it in a blink, Sungchan stole the ball and was soon sprinting down the field to the opposite goal. This was the moment.
“Go go go!” Shotaro shouted excitedly as he shot up from his seat on the cold metal, one fist waving in the air as he cheered on his fiancé, the other holding their son firmly but gently in place, “Come on! Make the goal!”
Sungchan ran with all his might, dodging the opposite team and pulling footwork that left the other players stunned and unprepared to advance. He passed by other midfielders, running at a speed full of adrenaline and one that was almost impossible to catch up to. Sungchan neared defense, the players poised to attack and take control of the ball, but even with their advantage in numbers and proximity on their side, Sungchan still surpassed them and neared the penalty box, moves still maintained and applied to the best of his athletic abilities.
“Go Sungchan go!” Shotaro cheered, using the hand on Jaeyoon to hold his head in place as he jumped up and down in excitement. Jaeyoon bounced along with Shotaro, and as if joining in on the excitement, he too squealed loud and proud for his father on the field, little clenched fists waving in the air. Everyone who sat close to the pair on the bleachers could hear the baby’s cries of joy and it brought smiles to their faces amidst the stress of the game, “Come on baby!”
Shotaro watched as the goalie took their stance, arms spread and ready to dive and catch the ball whenever Sungchan shot it into the opposing box net. He was still too close to the goalie box to make a confident shot, standing along the boundary on his toes, so Sungchan did as he usually did: he played the field. Sungchan ran along, dodging between the defenders who ran up on him and the midfielder who made it all the way back to try and steal the ball from the striker. One of Sungchan’s teammates took a position close to Sungchan just in case he was taken over and the ball was stolen from him.
It all looked too close to call, and with time running out, they were at threat of a draw. There was nothing wrong with a draw, but a tie-breaker round entailed extra time, and if the extra time did them no good, then a penalty kick was the determiner. There was no problem with this protocol, but the longer they played, the deeper exhaustion set in. Shotaro had sat in on this exact scenario the last season in the second to last round, but Shotaro remembered Sungchan saying earlier that evening that he was going to end the game at a decent time tonight so he could help put Jaeyoon to bed on time. The older man wondered if Sungchan was keeping his promise, not daring to go past the expected gameplay just so his son could make his bedtime.
“Almost there, Sungchan,” Shotaro glanced at the timer on the stadium scoreboard, numbers in bright red counting down until there was no time left. There were still twenty seconds, plenty of time for anything to happen, plenty of time for Sungchan to stall so he could make his winning goal. He had full control of the game, right at his feet, and there was no way it was going to be taken from him. They were too close for Sungchan to lose his focus, he was aiming for the win, and he was going to get it, “Almost there.”
Then there it was, one wrong step made by the goalie that brought him too far out of the goalie box, a mistake not left unnoticed by Sungchan. It left the striker plenty of room to fit in and shoot the ball, an opening to win their final game. Shotaro could see it too, finely tuned to watch every play, just as Sungchan had taught him to. A chill shot up his spine, wishing in his head that Sungchan would take the opportunity now.
Sungchan dribbled the ball closer to the goalie box, confidence in full swing as he barreled forward to close the distance. The goalie jumped into action, but by the time they made a move, it was too late. With five seconds left on the timer, Sungchan had lined up the shot before kicking the ball with full force. The entire audience watched as the ball flew into the air, past the goalie’s reach, and hit the net with an echo that seemed to bounce off the stadium walls forever.
For a split second, there was only silence in the packed stadium, but before long, the bleachers exploded into cheers.
Shotaro screamed at the top of his lungs, all his energy and pent-up anxiety leaving his body in an unfiltered burst, an overjoyed laugh filling the space as he celebrated as loudly as he could. The combination of it all startled Jaeyoon, even with his large headphones on, but the baby didn’t panic. Instead, he returned the energy with screams of his own, tiny lungs working hard to scream just as loud as Shotaro screamed. The pair made a nice duet in the cacophony of mixed sounds in that stadium.
The remaining seconds on the buzzer counted down to nothing, followed by the buzzer, barely heard over the roar of the crowd, that indicated that the season was over and that they had a winner.
Their team won. Sungchan had won.
“Dada did it, Jaeyoonie! He did it, he did it!” Shotaro cheered, hugging Jaeyoon close to him and placing kisses on his soft hair peeking out past his beanie. The joy trapped in his chest was manifesting in his love for his son, the tiny boy strapped to his chest just as reciprocative in his own way as he leaned into his mother’s touch. The pair were celebrating amongst themselves while it was just the two of them, “We’re so proud of him, baby boy. So proud of Dada and his team!”
Shotaro watched as Sungchan’s teammates and coaches flooded him in a large swarm, having their own celebration as they let the news set in that they had won the tournament, the thing they had practiced so hard for. All their hard work had paid off, and Sungchan had led them to that victory with so much ease. They would receive medals to commemorate this moment, but the material reminder meant nothing when the memory would mean so much more.
While the team celebrated on their own, Shotaro threw his diaper bag over his shoulder, grabbed the forgotten ‘Sungchan sign’, and hurried to head down the stairs of the beachers, taking the exit that would lead to the sideline barricade. There was already a mix of family members, friends, and romantic partners waiting along the padded concrete wall to speak to the players, energies buzzing with excitement and joy evident on their faces. The team was still winding down on the field, taking one last team photo before they dispersed for the season, with some teammates not returning for the next. The senior players were being celebrated on the spot and were handed their flowers, both metaphorically and physically, as the coaches handed them large bouquets of an arrangement of colorful flowers. From where Shotaro stood, he could see the colors and planned where they would put them in their apartment. The middle of their dining table would be perfect.
Shotaro watched Sungchan only and took in the overjoyed smile on his face. He was so happy that he had made such an amazing accomplishment in his final year of soccer. He didn’t plan to pursue the sport after college, so he had ended this chapter of his life with triumph and pride. Shotaro was endlessly proud of his fiancé and planned to properly celebrate this moment with dinner and a night out when they had the time. Tonight didn’t seem too probable, given that it was so late and too last-minute to find someone to watch Jaeyoon, but it would come soon.
Their team pictures were taken, and after being given the go-ahead, without another second, Sungchan was up and running towards the sidelines and towards his family. He was probably the fastest runner on the team, and watching him now, Sungchan was miles ahead of his teammates as they headed towards the sidelines where their loved ones were standing. Shotaro giggled as he watched the younger man bound towards him with his long legs and flowers clutched to his chest. His sweaty fringe blew out of his eyes, showcasing an even sweatier forehead.
Shotaro had no access to the field from his place in the bleachers, so all he could do was grip onto the wall and press himself as close as possible, making sure Jaeyoon wasn’t getting crushed in the process. Thankfully, there was no height discrepancy between the audience and the field. The only thing that separated them was the concrete divider.
Sungchan closed the distance, and while Shotaro thought the younger man was going to stop at the wall, he was proven wrong as Sungchan jumped over the barricade with impressive accuracy. Shotaro knew his fiancé could box jump to impressive heights, but this had caught him off guard completely. Now they were as close as they could possibly be, and that was exactly what they wanted. This was exactly who Sungchan wanted to celebrate with.
“Hey,” Sungchan greeted with a wide grin, breathless and panting from exhaustion and exertion. From their new proximity, Shotaro could see that there was turf sticking to the sweaty glow on his face that had flown up in the heat of the game. Shotaro could even see artificial blades of grass stuck in his dark hair, poking out past the strands like small antennas.
“Hey,” Shotaro repeated with a smile as he reached up to flick the rubber flecks away from his cheek. His skin was hot and wet in the cold, November air, but that didn’t matter to Shotaro. He had never felt prouder or more in love with Sungchan than right in that moment, “Congratulations, baby.”
Sungchan wasted not another second as he pulled Shotaro into him with his free hand wrapping around his waist, and captured his lips in a kiss. Their lips locked unapologetically, but with the pure happiness and excitement coursing through their veins, it was more like two smiles pressed together with how jittery they were. Shotaro dropped the diaper bag and the handmade sign in his hands and used them to grab Sungchan’s face, keeping him in place as he leaned into the kiss. He could feel the adrenaline coursing through his skin, vibrating under his fingertips. His joy was palpable and could be felt by everyone around them.
Especially Jaeyoon, who was still smushed between his mother and father. He had to remind them he was there with a loud squeal and a kick of his legs, kicking Sungchan right in the stomach and effectively knocking him away from Shotaro. Sungchan didn’t fret and instead laughed, turning his attention to the small baby trying to get his attention.
“Oh, I didn’t forget you were here, mister. I could hear you from the field, you were so loud,” Sungchan spoke to Jaeyoon with a higher pitch, hand carefully cupping his son’s head and placing several kisses all along his round cheeks. Jaeyoon giggled as Sungchan did so, happy to be so close to his Dada again, “You and your mommy really pushed me out there. I couldn’t have won without you.”
Shotaro watched in admiration as Sungchan cooed at their son, holding his hands and speaking to him like he could understand. Jaeyoon loved talking to Sungchan and always chanted a very loud ‘Dada!’ anytime he could see him. This time was no different as he filled the immediate space with his screams. Shotaro watched as Sungchan grabbed Jaeyoon’s hands to hold, and in the process, Shotaro caught sight of the silver band wrapped around his ring finger. The exact same silver band Shotaro wore.
Shotaro gasped, grabbing Sungchan’s hand with his own, his engagement ring glinting in the stadium lights, “You wore your ring during the game?” he asked in disbelief, “You’re not allowed to do that! You could have gotten hurt or in trouble,” Shotaro admonished under his breath. Sungchan didn’t wear much jewelry save for his ring, and Shotaro knew Sungchan to take his safety and the rules of soccer games very seriously. Wearing his ring posed as a safety risk and went against protocol, yet there it was. Loud and proud under the bright stadium lights for the whole world to see.
Sungchan laughed unapologetically, holding Shotaro’s hand tighter as if to comfort him, “I wanted you with me,” he explained simply, “It reminded me of who I was playing for.”
Shotaro could melt under Sungchan’s gaze that always appeared too in love for his own good. The notion was very sweet, and while Shotaro would have normally stood his ground on Sungchan breaking the rules, he instead sighed and laced his fingers with his fiancé’s, thumb running gently along the smooth metal, “I can’t stay mad at you,” Shotaro acquiesced with a huff, rolling his eyes with a smile.
“You can’t be anyway. This is my special night,” Sungchan laughed, pulling both his fiancé and son into a soft hug, “We won.”
“You did,” Shotaro nodded proudly, letting his head loll onto Sungchan’s shoulder, face tucked in the warm and sweaty skin of Sungchan’s neck. He wore a high turtleneck, which helped as a barrier for all the sweat, but even then, Shotaro did not care. He just wanted to be close to the loves of his life, “What are you going to do now?” he questioned, voice sounding so dreamy and content where he stood.
“I’m going home with you,” Sungchan nodded, continuing to hold Shotaro and Jaeyoon to his body. He could feel the way his son was balling his jersey up in his fists, “The next bus home should be in about half an hour. We have time.”
“What?!” Shotaro nearly shrieked, consternation heavy in his features as he pulled back to look at Sungchan, “The team doesn’t have anything planned?” for regular and non-tournament games, the team would celebrate with some kind of late-night dinner or a trip to some open establishment. To hear that there was nothing despite this being the biggest game of the season was surprising, and Shotaro was hesitant to believe his fiancé.
“No, they do, but I don’t want to celebrate with them,” Sungchan stated as if it was a matter of fact. Before Shotaro could ask for an explanation, Sungchan was already offering one, “I want to celebrate with the most important people in my life right now. And that’s you and Yoonie. I don’t want to be with anyone else tonight,” he assured, smiling down and making bright faces at their baby boy who had been trying to chew on Sungchan’s hand.
Shotaro stood incredulous, brows furrowed in confusion, but he didn’t dare argue because he too wanted to celebrate with his soon-to-be husband and young son. The urge to argue, to encourage him to hang out with his teammates was strong, but he found himself speechless as he nodded along to Sungchan’s wish. Any time spent with Sungchan was Shotaro’s favorite time.
“We need to catch that bus then. Jaeyoon’s bedtime is soon,” Shotaro announced between the two of them, taking a glance at his watch and noting how close the call would be once they walked through the front door. They tried to keep a routine with Jaeyoon, and it had helped the little boy greatly with learning their schedules. Now that a significant part of their schedule was complete, Sungchan would be around more to enforce it. It was something the younger man had been looking forward to for weeks, maybe even more so than his game.
“I’ll take a quick shower and get my things,” Sungchan nodded before ducking his head and catching another kiss from Shotaro. He then moved onto Jaeyoon, pecking his round and rosy cheek in his own goodbye, “I won’t be long, my good luck charms, the lights of my life. I’ll miss you while I’m gone.”
“You’re ridiculous,” Shotaro laughed as he pushed Sungchan away by the shoulder, hoping to get him to move a little faster towards the end goal, “Go! We’ll be here waiting for you.”
Sungchan blew a kiss with a wide sweep of his hand before he was turning on his heel, sprinting towards the home locker room with impressive speed. Shotaro giggled as he watched his fiancé hustle just so he could lie in bed in his pajamas with a sleeping baby on his chest next to his fiancé. There was nothing glamorous about the night ahead of them, which only made it mean more to Shotaro. Sungchan had him melting on the spot, drowning in the love Sungchan so evidently held for him and Jaeyoon.
‘Lights of my life’. Shotaro had never resonated with a phrase quite like he did with that one.