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“I wanna eat you out,” Namgyu whispers, pulling back from Subong’s lips just enough to see his dark eyes, pupils dilated.
Subong stares back at him, blinking slowly, face etched with confusion. “Huh?” he pants, trying to catch his breath.
“I said,” Namgyu swallows, tone firmer, more confident. “I want to eat you out.”
The confession hangs in the air, enveloped by the sudden silence between them. Namgyu doesn’t say anything more, doesn’t push or plead. He just lets Subong take control of the moment, lets him decide what he wants and how the next steps should play out.
It’s not that Subong’s uncertain about sex, confidence has never been an issue with that. But when he’s the one in the more vulnerable position, splayed out before Namgyu, he becomes someone else entirely. Shy, quiet, unable to hold eye contact for more than a second. Nothing like how he is out in the world.
When he’s around friends or partying or performing on stage as Thanos, he’s unstoppable. Loud, eccentric, magnetic in a way that draws anyone and everyone toward him. When he’s in his element, it feels as if nothing can touch him, let alone bring him down.
Sometimes Namgyu can barely recognise that they’re the same person.
“Why?” Subong questions, voice small and shaky around the edges as he shuffles uncomfortably beneath Namgyu.
“I wanna try something new,” he shrugs.
You would think he’s talking about a new hair style with how light his voice sounds, – relaxed, steady, laced with confidence – not whether or not he can shove his tongue inside his boyfriend’s ass. “And I wanna taste you,” he adds after a beat, smirk tugging at his lips as he tucks some fallen strands of hair behind his ears.
“Fuck,” Subong swears breathily, blush creeping up his chest and onto his cheeks.
They’re both currently dressed in just their boxers; all other clothing having been stripped during their very intense makeout session only a few minutes prior. So without any material covering Subong’s chest, Namgyu can truly see the effect his words have on him.
His chest is painted a light rosy tint, goosebumps crawl up the soft skin, and as the seconds pass, Namgyu can see the way his nipples perk up and harden.
Holy fuck he’s starving. His mouth is practically drooling at the sight of Subong flushed beneath him.
“I just want to make you feel good,” he whispers, gently running his hands across Subong’s torso, feeling the way his skin twitches under the brush of Namgyu’s cold fingers. “It’s okay if you don’t want it, it was just an idea I-”
“I want it,” Subong cuts in, voice soft but no longer shaking.
“Yeah?” Namgyu questions, eyebrows raised.
“Fuck yeah,” he replies, lips curving into a lazy smirk as his confidence grows by the second.
Huh?
Namgyu did not think he would say yes that quickly. He hoped he would, but honestly he didn’t have very high hopes. Because like he said before, usually Subong is more hesitant to try new things. Well… on himself that is. Namgyu will let him do pretty much anything and everything he wants to him.
Literally anything.
He can’t remember a time he’s actually said no to something Subong suggested. It’s not that he feels pressured to do it, Subong will never force him, never has. Namgyu just wants to. He fucking loves exploring different things during sex - positions, kinks, anything under the sun - because he understands that Subong only wants to make him feel good.
It also helps knowing that if he doesn’t like something even if they’re halfway in, Subong won’t hesitate to stop, immediately checking if he’s okay. His boyfriend being such a doting lover and taking the best care of him makes experimenting fun, it makes him feel safe.
He tries to do the same for Subong, never pushing, always checking in, doing his best to make him feel comfortable. But even still, Subong is more self-conscious when it comes to trying things Namgyu suggests. There’s nothing wrong with that though, Namgyu is most definitely not complaining. Because Thanos topping 95% of the time means he’s constantly getting absolutely railed. And there's nothing to complain about there.
But when Namgyu first suggested switching things up, it took a fair few months for Subong to be okay with fingering, and even more before he was comfortable enough to go all the way. Once again Namgyu is not complaining, he didn’t mind taking things slow. It felt good to ease him into things, to build up his confidence, tear down the walls he’d put in place and make Subong feel safe enough to be so exposed around him.
When Namgyu finally did fuck him, Subong begged him to top every day for the rest of the week. He could not get enough, and neither could Namgyu if he’s being honest. He’d never felt better. Making Subong feel so good he was literally begging to be in the vulnerable position he was once so scared of; it was fucking great.
“How do you want me?” Subong questions, gaze locked on Namgyu.
“Stay just like that, I want to see your face pretty boy,” he snickers softly, watching the way Subong’s cheeks flush an even darker shade of pink.
Namgyu leans down to capture his lips in a kiss. Its messy and fast, but at the same time, extremely gentle. His hands move up to cradle Subong’s face, thumbs brushing against his cheeks as he deepens the kiss. Their tongues slide together with ease. It’s practically second nature at this point, both knowing exactly where and when to move against each other.
Subong sighs into it, his hands moving down to grab at Namgyu’s hips, pulling him closer till their chests are pressed together. He’s so unbelievably warm, Namgyu can feel the heat radiating off of him and seeping into his own body.
When he pulls back from Subong’s lips to suck in a breath, a string of saliva stretches between them, keeping them connecting. But even one second is too long to be separated from Subong, so he leans back in, pressing a trail of kisses along his jaw.
He stops at his pulse point, sucking a mark into the soft skin, alternating between harsh bites, soft kisses, and flicks of his tongue. The combination has Subong panting, clutching Namgyu’s hips tighter in an attempt to ground himself.
But Namgyu doesn’t stop there. His lips move down Subong’s throat, resuming his previous pattern of kisses and bites, trailing across his shoulder before stopping at his arm.
His fingers curl around Subong’s bicep, giving the muscle there a soft squeeze before turning it just enough that he can see the inside of his arm. The skin there is scattered with scars, some more recent than others.
After one too many incidents, they had made the mutual decision to quit their addictions. But recovery is not a straight line, and they’ve both relapsed more times then they’d like to admit. It isn’t failure though, they’ll always remind each other this, it’s simply a small setback. Relapsing doesn’t erase their progress; it’s a part of the process to being clean.
Subong’s breath hitches as Namgyu begins placing a kiss to each one. The skin is soft beneath his lips, some lines slightly caving in while others are flat across his arm.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispers breathily, pulling back to see Subong’s expression. His eyes are half-lidded and glazed over, cheeks dusted a dark pink, lips parted as he shakily exhales.
God he’s handsome.
His hands roam Subong’s chest, fingers dancing around the warm skin. Namgyu gently squeezes his hips as his hands slide up and down his sides. “So pretty,” he murmurs, resuming his trail of kisses down Subong’s body.
Namgyu slips his fingers under the waistband of Subong’s boxers, gazing up at him, waiting for approval. He nods slowly, lifting his hips off the bed so Namgyu can remove the material easier.
Namgyu makes quick work of sliding the boxers down his thighs, throwing them somewhere behind them before returning his attention back to Subong. His cock springs out without the restraint, hard, flushed red at the tip, and already leaking precum.
Namgyu runs his finger along the shaft – his touch featherlike – eliciting a groan as Subong shudders beneath him.
“Perfect,” he states, attaching his lips to Subong’s thigh. “So fucking perfect,” he mumbles in between kisses, tone gentle, wrapped in love and adoration.
“Namgyu,” Subong whispers breathily, gently tugging at Namgyu’s hair to get him to lift his head. “You don’t have to-”
“I want to,” Namgyu cuts in, tone firm and certain. He leans back in, lips focusing solely on the scars that are scattered across Subong’s thighs, carved into the soft skin. Some lines are old and faded while others are still healing.
They’re deeper than the ones along his arms, so both the texture and appearance is different - Slightly raised, jagged, a purplish-red hue surrounding the white slits. Namgyu doesn’t dwell on the differences however, it’s all the same to him. All a part of Subong.
“I love you Subong. All of you.” He emphasises the words with more open-mouthed kisses to his thighs.
The gentleness of his touch paired with the soft confession has Subong panting and sniffling above him.
Wait… sniffling?
He rests his chin on Subong’s leg, peering up through half lidded eyes just to be sure of what he’s hearing. And Subong isn’t exactly crying… but he looks close to it. Very close.
His eyes are glassy, tears clinging to the bottom line of his lashes, threatening to spill at any moment. His lips are parted, bottom lip trembling ever so slightly as he stares back at Namgyu.
He looks so vulnerable like this. So young. The sight makes Namgyu’s chest tighten, breath catching in his throat. He wishes more than anything that he could take Subong’s pain away, give him the love he deserves. Enough that makes up for what he wasn’t shown growing up.
“Bon…” he whispers, running his hands along the side of Subong’s torso, hoping the soft touch can ground him in some way. “Are you okay baby, do you want me to stop?”
“I’m fine, sorry,” he huffs out, furiously wiping at his eyes. “Please don’t stop Nam, I need you so bad,” he adds after a beat.
“Are you sure?” Namgyu questions softly, hands now resting at Subong’s hips. He needs to double check, make sure this is something Subong actually wants, and isn’t just agreeing with to make Namgyu happy. The last thing he wants is to overwhelm his boyfriend with something unfamiliar when he’s not in the most stable mindset.
“I’m sure,” Subong replies, voice soft but certain. “Please fuck me Namgyu, I need to feel you right now.”
Namgyu nods, lips curving into a lazy smile as he leans forward to press their lips together. Subong sinks into it, hands weakly grabbing the back of Namgyu’s head to pull him closer.
Its slower now. Both of them moving gently against each other as they find their rhythm once more. Namgyu sighs contently as Subong’s fingers run through his hair, scratching his scalp and gently tugging at the black strands. His touch is careful and so unbelievably tender, like he’s scared of ruining the intimate moment.
When Namgyu reluctantly pulls away from the warmth of his lips, Subong lets out a quiet whine. He would apologise, but he has another way to make Subong whine… and for a good reason.
He moves down, gently throwing Subong’s legs over his shoulders and settling between them.
“If you don’t like this, or its too much, just let me know okay,” he murmurs softly, trailing more kisses along the inside of his thigh.
“Okay,” Subong replies, leaning back on the pillows resting against their headboard.
Namgyu gently pulls his cheeks apart and leans in, licking a small stripe across Subong’s entrance, just to get him used to the sensation.
“Shit,” Subong gasps, body tensing as his hands clench tightly in the sheets around them.
“You alright?” Namgyu questions, thumbs brushing small circles into the soft flesh of his cheeks.
“Yeah… I’m good,” he replies breathily. “Keep going.”
With the confirmation, Namgyu focuses back on the task at hand. He wants to make Subong feel good, he needs to.
He lets his saliva drip down to Subong’s entrance before chasing it with his tongue, swirling it around the rim. He sucks at his fluttering hole, tongue gently prodding inside.
Subong groans as Namgyu presses his tongue flat, licking a longer stripe – slower, more deliberate - along his entrance.
“Holy shit Nam,” Subong moans as his hands find their way into Namgyu’s hair, colourful nails disappearing beneath the black strands.
Namgyu hums in response, continuing to lap at Subong’s hole. The vibration of his voice paired with his tongue working deep inside him, has Subong’s legs trembling, struggling to stay in place draped over Namgyu’s shoulders.
He creates a steady pattern, tongue swirling around his rim, prodding inside his walls, licking over his entrance, and lapping desperately at his hole. Subong tastes so fucking good, Namgyu may very well be getting himself into another addiction.
He brings two fingers to Subong’s entrance, generously coating them in spit before slipping them inside, working them in until his second knuckle is buried deep inside Subong’s walls.
To let him get used to the intrusion, Namgyu pauses for a moment, planting more kisses across Subong’s thighs. Once his breathing starts evening out and he isn’t tugging onto Namgyu’s hair for dear life, he gets back to work.
He draws his fingers out halfway before slowly pushing them back in, curling once they’re fully inside. The action has Subong moaning louder than Namgyu’s ever heard, grip tightening on Namgyu’s hair as his back arches off the bed.
“Right there,” Subong groans, hips jerking forward into his face. “Fuck Namgyu, feels so good.”
He gathers more saliva to the tip of his tongue, letting it drip down to where his fingers are pushing inside of Subong’s tight rim. His tongue works deeper alongside his fingers, trying to fill him more, maximise the pleasure he’s experiencing.
And on a more selfish note… he wants to taste more of him, devour him whole. Namgyu doesn’t think he’s ever had such a delicious meal.
“Shit- Nam I’m close,” Subong groans, hips continuing to jerk forward, chasing the sensation of Namgyu inside of him.
He smirks against him, listing to the breathy whines and moans that escape Subong’s lips when Namgyu sucks hard on his rim, crooks his fingers just right.
Namgyu brings the hand that isn’t inside of Subong up to his twitching cock, fingers wrapping around the thick shaft, eliciting more groans as he strokes him. His hand slides easily, lubricated by his spit and the pre-cum leaking consistently from the slit of Subong’s cock.
Subong’s hand flies down from where its tangled in Namgyu’s hair to grab harshly at his wrist, making Namgyu stop his movements immediately. He lets his hand fall limp against Subong’s stomach, feeling the radiating heat under his fingertips.
But Subong’s grip doesn’t let up. His hands slides down his wrist, latching onto Namgyu’s fingers. He gets the hint and laces them together without a moment’s hesitation.
Namgyu brings their connected hands to the bed, pinning Subong’s arm against the cool sheets. The covers are completely messed up, drenched in sweat and bound to be covered in other bodily fluids soon… but that’s a problem for another day.
“I’m so close,” Subong grunts, fingers curling tighter around Namgyu’s hand and hair.
With that, Namgyu doubles down on his efforts. His fingers plunge vigorously inside Subong, curling them harder, desperate to hit that sweet spot each and every time. He hums against Subong, licking desperately into him whilst his hole clenches around Namgyu’s tongue.
Its messy, wet, and so fucking hot as he laps at the mess of saliva, tongue delving deep inside his walls.
“Fuck Nam- shit I’m gonna-” Subong finishes with a guttural moan, back arching off the bed as streaks of cum shoot straight onto Namgyu’s face.
The sticky liquid trickles down his forehead, dripping off his cheeks and onto the covers below.
He slows the pace of his fingers to a gentle grind, letting Subong ride out his orgasm. His legs are trembling violently from where they sit perched on Namgyu’s shoulders, and every few seconds, his hips twitch up. It’s like his body can’t decide whether it wants more, or needs to get away from the constant waves of pleasure.
When Subong lets out a broken whimper, grip tightening in Namgyu’s hair, he withdraws his fingers, not wanting to overstimulate his boyfriend. Subong collapses onto the bed with a grunt.
Namgyu gently removes his legs from his shoulders, placing one last kiss to his clenching hole before sitting back on his heels to take in the sight of Subong.
He’s covered in a thin sheen of sweat, whole body flushed red, panting heavily. As he squeezes his eyes shut, a few tears slip down his face, mixing with the beads of sweat.
Shit. He didn’t even realise he’d been crying.
“You alright Bon?” he questions, flopping beside Subong so he can cradle his face easier. His thumbs brush gently under his eyes, swiping the fallen tears away.
“Never better,” Subong sighs, leaning into the touch and turning his body just enough that he can face Namgyu front on. “Shit, sorry about that,” he snickers, gesturing to Namgyu’s face painted in streaks of white.
Oops, nearly forgot about that.
“No need to be sorry, this is dessert,” he smirks, wiping away the mess before bringing his dirtied fingers to his mouth, licking a long stripe across his hand.
Its warm, thick, and slightly salty on his tongue. Not the most amazing thing he’s ever tasted, but it’s the result of Subong’s pleasure. The pleasure he gave him. And that in itself is enough to make him want it for every meal.
“Fuck,” Subong mutters breathily, eyes locked on Namgyu’s movements. “Don’t do that shit you’ll get me going again,” he huffs, bringing his own hand to wipe away what Namgyu missed.
Namgyu just giggles, hand coming up to cover his mouth, before brushing fallen strands of hair behind his ears. "Do you need anything?" he questions as he gets up off the bed, the mattress creaking under his movement.
"Just water," Subong replies, shuffling to sit up with his back pressed against the headboard.
When Namgyu gets to the kitchen, he’s met with a sudden realisation… he didn’t cum. He had been so focused on making Subong feel comfortable, making him feel good, that he paid absolutely no attention to his own weeping cock. It bulges almost painfully against the tight material of his boxers as he walks.
Now look, he could very well take 5 minutes in the bathroom to get himself off, but Subong would probably come knocking. He gets super clingy after he cums, and if Namgyu’s gone for more than 2 minutes, he gets whiney. Well… Subong’s version of whiney which is pretty much huffing at Namgyu and standing next to him, staring into his soul until he gets the memo and comes back to bed.
It doesn’t matter; he doesn’t need to finish. The purpose of this whole thing was to try something new and make Subong feel good, and he did… so mission accomplished, he can die happy now.
With the glass now filled with chilled water, Namgyu makes his way back to Subong, walking slowly so he doesn't spill a single drop. "Here," he says gently, handing the glass to his boyfriend.
“Thanks,” Subong mumbles, downing the whole thing in a second before flopping dramatically onto the bed with a sigh.
Namgyu doesn’t have a moment to think before he’s tugged – more like yanked – down beside him. They shuffle around, limbs slotting perfectly together like pieces of a puzzle until they’re both comfortable.
Subong’s arms wrap tightly around his waist, not enough to hurt, just firm enough to anchor him in place. His head settles against Namgyu’s chest, cheek warm and soft against his bare chest. He can feel each exhale against his skin, the puffs of hot air sending goosebumps crawling across his skin.
Namgyu wraps his arm around Subong’s shoulder, thumb brushing slow circles against the damp skin. His other hand comes up to Subong’s face, pushing the sweat-slicked hair off his forehead before disappearing in the purple strands.
Subong lets out a content hum as Namgyu’s fingers run through his hair, ever so gently scratching at his scalp. After the insane amount of times he’s dyed his hair with cheap ass products, the tufts are now dead, dry and wiry beneath his fingertips. But it’s a part of Subong too, and the texture is almost comforting in a way.
“Y’know,” Subong starts teasingly, peering up at Namgyu through half lidden eyes. “I had always wondered what it would feel like to get eaten out. I hoped it would be as good as the girls I fucked made it seem, arching their backs and screaming my name like no tomorrow.”
Namgyu glares down at him, mouth taut. “Don’t fucking talk about other people you’ve hooked up with after I just had my tongue inside your ass.”
Subong laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners with how hard he’s smiling. “Don’t worry my Namsu, you’re the best.”
“Damn right I am,” He huffs, smirk tugging at his lips.
“So…” Namgyu starts after a beat, voice soft as he's suddenly hit with a wave of shyness. “Was it as good as you hoped?”
“I think the way I came all over your face is enough of an answer,” He laughs, the sound vibrating through Namgyu’s chest.
Namgyu can’t help but snicker back, they look so stupid. Cuddled up naked, covered in sweat, reeking of sex and talking about how well they can eat people out.
Once the laughter dies down, silence envelops the room. It isn’t awkward, but comfortable. Soft as it settles around the warmth of their bodies pressed together.
“I love you Namgyu,” Subong whispers, moving his head to nuzzle closer into the crook of Namgyu’s neck.
His heart flutters violently at the words as he smiles down at him. Subong’s purple hair sits messily against his chest, his cheeks are still flushed pink, and his lips are curved into a soft smile.
He’s so beautiful.
Namgyu doesn’t know what he did in life to deserve a man so perfect.
“I love you too,” he whispers back, eyes fluttering shut as he sinks into the warmth of Subong resting against him.