Chapter Text
“Oh”
“Oh”
“This is Murata Fuma, the guy I was telling you about” For some reason the café walls felt like it was closing in. Euijoo should’ve known that he won’t go through today normally from how his body ached all over when he woke up. “Him and I met what? a month?” He stared at how Kei turned towards Fuma, eyes bright and unaware.
“3 weeks ago actually” Euijoo shouldn't even be fussing over this. For god's sake it’s been a year since they broke up, Fuma graduated and is a working adult while Euijoo is deep in university as a 4th year. If anything he shouldn't even be affected– nay– even glance at the elephant in the room cause simply and truthfully it doesn't matter anymore. Not when the reason is right in his face.
He could see how Kei’s lips moved yet for some reason none of them reached his ears. His hands flared around as he spoke about their meeting, what they had been doing but Euijoo’s eyes couldn't help but glance towards the man at his side.
It was only a split second of their gazes meeting each other, for Euijoo it felt like the glimpse of the past was staring right at him. A piece of what Euijoo once was before what he is now. Fuma would pity how he is now, he thought. Nevertheless, his eyes remained the same, pure, soft and beautiful he remembered until Euijoo tore it away to look down at his sweaty hands.
Perhaps the mood shifted after that split second, enough for Kei to notice and ask “What is this?” Turning at Fuma before shifting to the other who fiddled with the straw of his drink “Do you two know each other?”
There was this beat that passed, Euijoo froze at the question. There was no simple answer, in fact there is no other answer to that question without going ‘oh yeah that guy you're with is actually my ex’. He wanted to puke all over the table and perish on the spot, until Fuma spoke “Uhm. Yeah 4 years ago, he’s–”
“A friend, we’re just friends” Euijoo cleared his throat and shifted in his seat with a sad excuse of a laugh. He doesn't even know why he’s keeping it behind wraps from his friend. “We met at university back when I was a freshman, he just introduced me to the school before he graduated” He couldn't lie to Kei, despite knowing him a little over 6 months ago he became a somewhat, brother figure. So in a technical sense, he didn't lie but it wasn't the whole truth either.
It goes a little something like this, memory still fresh in his mind as if it just happened yesterday as cliché as it sounds. Even with all his might in forgetting, to leave it in the past, drowning himself in university and fucking around finding out, his brain persisted.
Sweat pricked at his skin as the sun boiled him alive with its harsh glare, walking around the campus felt like he just wanted to cower in a corner and just give up on his dreams. He was lost, was an understatement. Euijoo doesn't even remember where he had gone, if only Nicholas were here, his personal google maps. Maybe he wouldn't be as lost as he is now. Where even is the liberal arts building?.
It came to a point where he just gave into his instincts and slid down a corner of the building, curling into himself. He looked homeless with his baggy shirt that he just grabbed from the depths of his and Nicholas’ shared closet and jeans he found laying on his floor. In his defense the man didn't wake him up and he rushed to get ready. The oversized bag filled with nothing but junk wasn't helping. Maybe asking for the ground to swallow him whole would be better than attending class.
“What are you doing there?” Like an angel descending down from the sky, or just the sun blinding him enough to hallucinate. A kind soul with a blue flannel, rimless glasses and wow… a build, gazed down on the boy with worry. “Do you need any help? The hospital is just around the corner”
“I’m lost” He simply said “I’m lost and I want to go home”
The guy let out an ‘Ah’ and clicked his tongue. “So you're new here and not an escapee from the hospital” He walked over to sit beside him in the corner “Where are you going?”
“The liberal arts building” Mushrooms can grow from his skin from how he sulked and mopped around.
“Liberal arts?” He repeated “That’s on the other side of campus, I can take you there if you want. My next class isn't for…” he paused, long enough for Euijoo to turn his head towards him and saw his face clearly for the first time. “2 hours from now”
Breathtaking wasn't enough to describe him. Euijoo could feel his heart stutter in his chest as he traced his features with his eyes. He was much bigger width wise, broader shoulders, bigger arms, bigger build that didn't match his softer features like his almond shaped eyes and rosey pink lips. At a certain angle he swore he could see it shimmer in the light, perhaps the work of a lipgloss or a lip balm.
When Euijoo took up his offer and stood up to follow him, he saw that he was much shorter, the top of his head reaching up only to his lips. He was bigger length wise, evident by his lanky thin limbs and weak arms. Height was all he had, Nicholas’ words not Euijoo’s.
“Oh, I thought you go back to your home, I never would've guessed you dorm”
“It's more of an apartment really” Euijoo shrugged, feeling shy at the attention he gave him. He came to know the guy’s name, Fuma, which was fitting. It was a perfect name for an angel. “I was looking for places to stay for college the moment I graduated back in Korea and saw one. An affordable two bedroom apartment put up by a Taiwanese guy and the rest is history”
“What’s his name?” Fuma asks, leaning forward just a bit to look at him a little more clearly without squinting from the sun.
“Nicholas Wang, he goes to that other university nearby a fashion major” Euijoo gestured to his clothes “If it wasn't so obvious from this shirt” it was a joke, a pathetic one, but a joke. “I grabbed it by mistake” In his defense they mixed up their laundry so much that Euijoo’s clothes became Nicholas’ and Nicholas’ became Euijoo’s. Their closets are just there for decoration if he was honest so it wasn't as alarming when the man just bursts in to rummage through his clothes.
A chuckle left Fuma’s lips, scanning his shirt that hung low on his neck and cut short just above his navel. It was barely a shirt but nonetheless it was so uncharacteristic for him to wear. “Well we’re here” He turned on his heel to face him, his back facing the tall doors of the liberal arts building.
Euijoo gawked at the sight as it looked like it was straight from Harry Potter. “Here’s my number” Snapping his head down to stare at the piece of paper torn out from somewhere “Incase you get lost and curl up in a corner again” When he took the paper from his hands, a toothy smile left Fuma’s lips as he turned around to walk away.
The writing was hurried, barely even readable yet 4 years later it was stuffed into the pockets of his wallet. “Yeah… he's just a friend, Yudai” Fuma reassured the man beside him “Still roommates with Nicholas?”
Fuma didn't have to say it, he didn't have to say anything but Euijoo could still read him. It was like a second language, third language even, what it meant when his eyes never rose up to meet him, or the bitter smile that escaped him when he did. “Yeah… he’s still the same Nicholas, the apartment is looking like a shit show recently with all his stuff laying around” And even the dry laugh that escaped him.
“How did you and Euijoo meet then?” Fuma fully turned his body away from him to face Kei.
“Oh you know” Kei hummed to recount the memory. “I model for Nicholas and one day he brought Euijoo to the studio, back then he had pink hair and was wearing this blue sleeveless hoodie and shorts. That's when I thought ‘I need to befriend him’ and he wasn't as intense as I assumed he was”
“Intense?”
“Well closed off was a better word for it. He just seemed… quiet, nonchalant. I thought he was going to just brush me off” there was a flash of something that ran across Fuma’s face, turning his head to glance towards the other.
When Euijoo’s eyes shifted up towards him from his drink their gazes met again for a split second. To Fuma, Euijoo looked like the same one he found curled up in a corner, awkward, bright and had kindness radiating from his skin. He never would've thought he would see him again after that night.
To Fuma, he saw the same Euijoo he had always remembered. He looked like the world but they have different lives now. Fuma’s working at a corporate office and Euijoo’s in the final years of university.
The night ended with a brief nod from Euijoo towards Kei and Fuma, trying to ignore the lump that grew with each second they spent together in his throat. He turned on his heel and began walking off.
The winter chills bit into his skin like wolves, he could see his breath in the air. When he reached home and fumbled with the keys, only then did he realize he was shaking.
The door swung open, leaving his hand in the air and a figure standing in front of him. “Oh hey Euijoo, hope you don't mind that I finished the chicken”
“Yuma” Euijoo breathed out. “It’s okay, I ate already” he said as he turned his body for him to have space to leave.
“Nicholas is in the bathroom, see you tomorrow Euijoo!” He watched as Yuma walked down the stairs of the building before entering the apartment.
When Nicholas emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later with toothpaste in the corner of his lips, Euijoo felt his body give up.
He found himself pushing him up against the walls of their home capturing his lips in a needy desperate kiss. Nicholas whined at the sudden action but still responded, letting him slip his hand under his shirt to feel up his sides. When Euijoo pulled back and gaze down at him “Euijoo–”
“I don't want to think” He kissed the corner of his lips “Please Nico” and pressed his body against his, trapping him between his arms
“Will you tell me after?” He stills and it was enough of an answer for him “Okay” he whispered.
They ended up on the couch, Euijoo’s head resting at the armrest with Nicholas kissing up his neck, pulling at his shirt. Then a minute later Euijoo was whining at the sensation of the pads of his finger prodding at his hole. “Fuck… Nico please” Flickering his eyes up towards him he could see his eyes swallowed by lust.
He pushed through, making Euijoo moan at the sensation, arching his back at burying his nose into his neck. “You sound beautiful” His lips were right beside his ear as he spoke. “You really can't get enough of me? Yuma was just here, trying to get into my pants and yet you come home and take what he wanted all night”
“More…” Nicholas followed, slipping another and began to scissor him open.
“You’re lucky your pretty” He felt his walls close onto his fingers “So so pretty” Nicholas’ other hand trailed down his sides to grip at his waist “God, Fuck” He leaned back a fraction to watch how he writhed and squirmed under his touch as he slipped in another and savored at how he let out breathy moan
“Hah– mhh!” He thrusts his fingers, hitting that sweet bundle of nerves every other push of his fingers. Euijoo buried his face into the inside of his elbows. “Nichol–” before his hands dropped down to grip his shoulders.
“Tell me princess” He leaned down his ear up against his lips, feeling his pants get tighter at how he moaned right against it “tell me what you need”
“Fuck me… ugh… Nico please…” That was enough for him to slow down to a halt and slip out his fingers from inside him. Nicholas leaned down, planting a kiss on his cheek, then the other, then on the corner of his lips before fully leaning away to unbutton his jeans.
“Do you want it this way? or something else?” Euijoo used all his might, sliding down to plant his knees down on the rug and hands on the fabric of the couch, his hole facing him fully, making him watch how it clenched around nothing. Nicholas took a pillow from the side and patted his hip for him to move a bit so he could place it on his knees “I don't want you hurting yourself”
“Just fuck me Nico” He could only chuckle as he dribbled lube on his hand, closing the tube before tossing it to the side before smearing it on his cock.
“What’s gotten you so tense, Euijoo?” Nicholas lined up behind him, planting a hand on his terribly small waist. “Be patient and ask nicely”
Euijoo whined at his words, he’d rather just be fucked senseless rather than beg but seeing how Nicholas isn't making any moves but tracing with his tip on his hole made him feel like he’s going crazy “Nichol, please… please fuck me… fuck me stupid… I– I don't want to think anymore please– God fuck mmhph!” He had pushed in as he spoke.
The burn felt like fire on his skin leaving him breathless and going weak under him. Nicholas pushed in slowly, up until his hips were flush against him and Euijoo let out a choked moan, he could feel him in his throat. Despite them doing this countless times over the past year, he can never seem to get used to how big Nicholas is. Given that it wasn't Euijoo’s first time being fucked by someone, it was a sensation he can never get sick of, get used to.
God, Euijoo remembered how he used to take care of him. Kissing up the expanse of his back, silencing him with his kiss, how every touch of his seemed like a promise, a prayer. “Fuck… F– Fuma-kun…”
Nicholas kept with his pace, finally getting the gist of why Euijoo was so eager to forget everything for just a moment.
“Harder… mmhm… Fuma-kun harder please…” Nicholas followed wordlessly except for the groans that seemed to slip from him unknowingly, reaching down to slide his hand up his torso to his chest and thumb on his nipple. The touch made Euijoo jerk as a moan ripped out from him while the other hand wrapped around his waist to hoist him up, making him lean against him. The position made it so Nicholas could fuck in deeper while Euijoo’s own untouched cock was trapped between his skin and the edge of the couch.
Then when Euijoo’s hand reached down to touch his neglected cock a hand gripped around his wrist “Who said you can touch yourself? I thought you wanted to be just fucked. Helping yourself want a part of what you begged for Euijoo”
A guttural whine left Euijoo as he squirmed in his hold as his cock slapped helplessly against the couch. “Please!” He practically screamed, feeling the warmth build up in his gut “Fuck Nico please!”
“The time for begging what you want is over so shut up and take what I give you” Tears rimmed the edges of his eyes at the words, he could feel his legs shake from the sheer effort of holding himself up despite leaning on Nicholas. Fuma was never this harsh on him, it’s what sets them apart the most. If he was more gentler, with the most he’d done was dragging out his orgasm, Nicholas was more rough. When he takes control he makes him beg, fuck him harder when he’s brought to tears, and continue to until he tips over himself.
A thrust perfectly aimed at Euijoo’s prostate made him see stars, then another which made him choke on his spit and another which is what sent him to splurt on the cushions as a pornographic moan ripped through his bones. Nicholas had settled him down on the couch with his lips up against his ear “Take a bit more for me okay?” before ramming inside him, chasing his own pleasure.
Euijoo was a mess of incoherent moans and whimpers and it wasn't long before Nicholas had spilled inside him. Think warm ropes of cum coating his insides like some starry night painting.
Then it was like routine, arms planted beside Euijoo’s side kept Nicholas from collapsing fully on the other. He stayed inside until he had softened and slipped out, watching at how his cum spilled out in waves from his hole.
He settled beside him, tapping his arm “Euijoo, you there with me?” before sighing when he had opened his eyes. His eyes were clouded, he looked out of it. “Talk to me” rubbing the skin of his arm
“I’m… I’m good… just spent” Euijoo spoke
“Okay, want me to help you to the bathroom?” He nods
It wasn't an easy journey of 5 long strides to the bathroom but it was worth it seeing how the tense muscles on his back loosened as soon as the warm water hit his skin. “Sit down, let me clean you up”
It was a routine they developed, whether Euijoo was getting pampered or Nicholas, both of them never really cared for strict roles. It wasn't like they were in a relationship, they were just two roommates that happened to relieve stress through each other. There were never feelings involved, when they wake up in the morning they would be the same Nicholas and Euijoo they had always been, arguing over the most minuscule things.
They never bothered to put a label on it as there was no label to be placed. Euijoo was never bothered every time Nicholas brought home Yuma, even if they make out and have sex in the kitchen, as long as Euijoo wasn't in the house or locked in his room, he was never bothered. It wasn't like what he and Nicholas had is a regular occurrence if you count every other week a regular occurrence.
When they settled into the bath, Euijoo couldn't help but slump against his chest. “Want to tell me why now?”
A sigh washed over him like ocean waves “I saw Fuma earlier, it turns out he was the new shiny guy Kei was talking about”
“Damn” He muttered
“I… I just… I don’t know” Euijoo could feel his hands tremble again “I thought I’m over it but how he– he looked at me when Kei talked about his first impressions of me– I– I couldn't look at him Nico–” He leaned to the side to turn his head towards him “I–” then a choked sob crawled up to his throat.
Nicholas wordlessly wrapped his arms around shoulders, letting him bury his face into his chest. “Nico… I don't know what to do… I– I don't want him to see me like this– like– like a mess! I barely even know what I’m doing anymore and when he looked at me– he– it felt like… it solidified everything! That I’ve just fucked everything over. That I’m fucked up”
“You don't have to do anything Euijoo” He could feel the fresh tears that slip from the corners of his eyes drip into his skin and he could only pull him closer. Shushing him quietly as he sobbed into him “You’re not fucked up, yeah you aren't the same awkward Euijoo I met but I would never exchange the person who you are now to the person back then”
Hands cupped the cheeks of the other, wiping away the tears that ran down like a river “Even if the world turned upside down, even if you are a mess there’s nothing wrong with being a little fucked up, Okay Euijoo?” He nodded “use words”
“...Okay” Before Nicholas leaned down to plant a kiss on the tip of his forehead
“Let’s get you to bed” Getting dressed in the most bare minimum, nothing except for Euijoo wearing boxers, they slipped into Nicholas’ bed. The living room was still a mess of clothes and bodily fluids but they were too tired to even move the moment their bodies hit the bed.
And like routine Nicholas pulled Euijoo close, kissing the crown of his head as he watched him fall asleep in his arms, following just right after.