Work Text:
Robert knew exactly when this had all started.
In fact, he could pinpoint the moments down to the millisecond.
It had started at two different places in his life, the first when his shirt had been so destroyed after a fight that the team had dragged him into at an after work hangout where everyone had a full view of the tight binder he wore.
(“Robert, you deal with nipple chafing too?” Victor had smacked his shoulder. “Dude. Just use tape.”
“It’s a binder you idiot.”
“Mal. I know what a binder is. It’s a plastic thing with clips for papers.” He’d snorted, then spat out a wad of snot. “That’s totally not a binder. Anyways— I’ll bring you some tape.”
“Uh, sure. Thanks. But honestly, with the fancy new health insurance from SDN, I’m getting top surgery in a few months. The tit chop. Sometimes your nipples fall off.” The binder was soaked through with booze, but Robert didn’t feel like peeling it off, so it stayed as he accepted a new polo from Courtney. “So. No tape necessary.”
The two blinks that Victor did should have had a cartoon ‘plink’ noise with each one.
“Oh! A binder!”)
The second moment had been when, after months of tension, the dam between himself and Herman had finally cracked, the pair of them alone in the office standing awkwardly at Robert’s desk one second, then smashed together on the floor the next, their mouths pressed together and tongues shoving up against each other in a gross fight for dominance.
(“Whoa. Don’t let me stop the fun.”
Herman had yelped, springing up from where he’d had Robert pinned to the ground so fast that he fell back onto his ass, another yell coming from him at the pain that shot up his spine from the impact.
“Jesus, Herman!” Courtney scurried over from where she was standing in the doorway to help the lanky man up, brushing her hands down his front to clear away any invisible dust he picked up from the fall. “I wasn’t even trying to sneak around, I swear. Genuinely left something in Mandy’s office.”
“Oh, in Mandy’s office?” Whatever Herman had on his lips tasted like fake cherry, though that could just be his mind associating Herm’s bright red face with the flavor. “How’s that going?”
“Apparently not as good as whatever the hell you two have going on.” She turned towards him, popping the sucker she had stuffed into her cheek out, using it to gesture at him. “What is this? It’s new right? God, please say it’s new.”
“I’ll say it’s new if you give me a cut of whatever you’re gonna win from the betting pool.” Robert pushed himself up from the ground, sidestepping Courtney to stand at Herman’s side with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Deal. I mean— we were gonna give it to you anyways. Surgery recovery or whatever.” The sucker was back in her mouth now, clinking against her teeth when she grinned. “It’s new, isn’t it.”
“Very.”
“Cool. Unless you tell me not to then I’m texting the group.” Whatever she needed obviously wasn’t important with how fast she dug the phone out of her pocket and started typing. “Congrats, or whatever. Mazel. See you Monday?”)
All of that had led to now, with Robert sitting in a vinyl booth that was cracking, his shoes stuck to the sticky floor, months after both occurrences.
Another great week at work, another bar to get banned from, he supposed.
Though it had been a while since any fights had broken out. He liked to think it was because the team was working in sync, though it was more than likely the higher ticket calls they were getting forwarded to them.
The group was scattered, leaving Robert to nurse his beer in the corner, content with having just the one.
At least, he had been content with just the one, before Courtney had plopped into the booth next to him and opened her mouth, rattling off a series of inappropriate questions like—
“You’re telling me you’ve never fucked the guy in the ass?” Courtney snorted, flicking the paper umbrella in her drink away so that she could take a sip without it falling onto her nose. “Shame. He won’t give me any details on how he fucks you, figured I could try and get some about how you fuck him.”
“I don’t think you understand how genitals work if you think any part of my dick would be able to fit inside of him.” Robert took the last swig from his bottle of beer, setting the empty glass at the edge of the table.
“Oh, please. You don’t have a single strap? Nothing? You’re just raw dogging life?”
“Yeah, look. I’m not having this conversation. Not with you, not with anyone.” Herman had started to nervously look around the bar for him, which meant it was time for them to leave, his social battery depleted. “And for your information— straps are expensive. Doesn’t make sense to waste money on one when I’m perfectly happy with how things are right now.”
“I’ll boil one of my old ones for you! Squeaky clean, promise. You shouldn’t let yourself get locked into a heteronormative sex life!”
“Absolutely not.” He stood, flicking a finger against her forehead. “And by the way, implying that we’re ’heteronormative’ because of my junk makes you an asshole. Check your biases, dick.”
It was a short walk across the bar, Robert sidling up to Herman and slipping his hand into the man’s damp one, tugging at it lightly.
Their signal that it was time to go.
Herman had gotten better with goodbyes in the last few months, offering Malevola and Alice a quick hug each before trotting out onto the street with Robert.
“I’m assuming we’re going to mine, yeah?”
“Ye-ep! Beef?” A wet kiss was smacked to Robert's forehead.
“Beef’s at home, don’t you worry. You’ll get to cheat on me with him soon.” It was true, whenever Herman and Beef were in the apartment together it ended with the pair of them spooning and Robert fighting for a scrap of blanket. “Les’go.”
They did, hands clenched together on the walk, Herman rattling off the gossip he’d gotten from the two women as fast as he possibly could, taking large mouthfuls of air whenever there was a pause for Robert to ask questions.
It was nice.
—
After getting home from the bar, Herman had promptly clipped the leash to Beef’s collar and scurried out to the little grass strip in front of the apartment building, leaving Robert to take over the bathroom for a shower first.
Not really much of a shower, just a quick rinse off and then a fifteen minute staring contest with himself in the mirror. In the six months that had followed the fight against Shroud, he’d packed on weight, the concave curve of his stomach filling out to the point where he no longer had to dig a screwdriver into his belt to make his pants fit. The gym had helped too, keeping his chest small and arms and legs toned, regaining the muscle that had atrophied while he’d been in a coma, bulking back up to what he’d looked like at the peak of his career as Mecha Man.
One hand flat against his stomach, he took a step back, then turned to the side, inspecting the faded scars before dropping his eyes down to his groin. If he brushed back the thatch of hair at his pubic bone, his dick stood proud, a solid two inches.
“I don’t need a fuckin’ strap.” He mumbled, dropping his hand from his crotch to snatch the towel hanging from the back of the door, tossing it around his neck to catch the falling drops of water.
The door creaked open, Herman poking his head through the crack. “Did you say— need something?”
“Nah. Good walk?” He brushed past Herman and into the open space of the apartment, standing next to the (relatively new) bed pushed up against the wall.
As much as he had protested adding a bed to the room, citing that the couch was fine and it would limit the space, he did have to admit that Herman had been in the right when he’d fought for it a few weeks ago.
“Ye-ep. He’s tired.” Beef was already curled up in the truly massive crate that Chase had bought him, snoring into the pile of stuffed toys. “You sure you’re good? Okay?”
“Courtney just got in my head. It doesn’t matter.”
Herman made a noise, like he wanted to say something but swallowed the words down, and nodded. After a moment, he reached to snag the towel from Roberts shoulders, placing it carefully onto the ground to start peeling his wetsuit off. In turn, Robert sat down to watch the show.
Less of a show, and more of an awkward peel, but he was still fond of it, especially when the garish blue and yellow were stripped away and he could drink in the sight of the man’s freckled skin. Herman was more pink than pale, especially once the suit came off. The inside seams left perfect imprints on him after a day of work, so tight against his flesh that Robert swore he could see each individual thread in the indents against the man’s ribs.
“Do you, uh. Like what you— ah—“ His arm was caught in the sleeve, wiggling uselessly as he tried to work it out of the squeaky fabric. “—see?”
“Pff. Yeah, I do.” The room was so small that Robert could reach across to hook his finger into the cuff of the stuck sleeve, yanking it down until Herman could slide out. “D’you wanna fuck before you shower?”
“Okay!” Herman was rushing now, quick to shuck down and kick off the suit entirely, reaching out towards Robert before pausing. “Ah— but you just— and then you’ll have to shower ag-gain.”
“Oh, woe is me. Dicked down so good I’ll have to get clean again.” He snorted, cocking his head to the side. “Doesn’t sound like that much of a problem.”
Underneath his hips, the bed creaked, Herman crawling into his lap and pushing his nose against Robert’s cheek.
“Mmhm. And then we can— could— shower together.”
“Very bold of you to think my shower is big enough for two people.” Robert slipped a hand down, palming at the slowly growing bulge in Herman’s briefs. “Especially someone as big as you.”
The words got cut off at the end by Herman’s mouth covering his own, soft and wet heat followed by the steady flow of water against his cheeks.
“I’ll fit.” His mouth moved to suck at Robert’s earlobe, hands skipping up and down his sides.
“You always do.” The cock under his palm twitched, and Robert’s mouth watered, his own hips bucking up towards Herman. “Wait— actually? Let me ask you a question.”
“Oh, sure. An-anything.” Reluctantly, Herman pulled away, hauling his legs up onto the bed to sit criss-cross, hands resting on his ankles as he leaned in to listen attentively. “What’s, uh. What’s up?”
“I could top you.”
“That’s?” He squirmed, brows knit together. “That’s not a ques-question, Robert. It’s a statement?” Inside his briefs, Robert could see how his cock twitched, jumping up in anticipation.
“You’re right. Can I top?” Robert gestured down to his groin. “Uh, naturally. I don’t have any toys. Well— none that I can wear.” There were plenty of toys in the plastic box shoved under the bed. “Just… me.”
“Oh! Ye-yeah!” Herman hooked both of his thumbs into his briefs, tossing them into the floor where they landed with a wet smack. “Whatever you wanna do, that’s good— cool with me!”
The enthusiasm made Robert snicker, crawling over on the bed and pushing Herman back with one hand.
“Lemme suck you off for a bit first, I can’t guarantee I’m gonna be any good besides that.”
Before Herman could open his mouth to protest, Robert had his hand around his dick, leaning forward to roll his tongue over the pink head of it, gathering up the single pearl of pre-cum that had been quivering, ready to fall, at his urethra. His hips jerked at the contact, a wheeze coming from him, which only spurred Robert on.
Just to be careful, Robert opened his mouth fully, letting the bone crack, before descending on his prize, swallowing him down as best as he could before the tip hit his soft palate and made him gag. Water was leaking from every one of Herman’s pores, making his grip slide when he pushed down on the man’s skinny hips to hold him in place.
As much as he liked giving head, he didn’t trust his gag reflex when it came to Herman’s excited jumpiness. Not after the first time, when they’d quickly ended their hookup with Herman holding back his bangs while he retched into the toilet.
He was proactive about it now, using enough strength to hold back Herman’s bucking hips to make sure it didn’t happen again. The weight against his tongue was nice, comforting. Same with the seemingly endless flow of pre that he swallowed down as he bobbed his head.
Herman in turn, wheezed, his head tossed back onto the pillow and jaw open as soft pants and moans came from him. Trusting that he’d keep his hips in check, Robert slid a hand down to cup his sac, rolling the two testes in his palm carefully.
“St-sto-op—“ Herman’s hips did buck upwards, Robert pulling away just in time to not have his cock hit the back of his throat. “I’m— you’ll make me—“
“Geez, that excited?” Spit and water were slicking down his chin, soaking into his facial hair. “C’mon, get comfy then.”
Robert stood then, watching as Herman slid down the mattress until his legs were dangling. “You’re pretty.”
He was, flushed and breathing heavy, legs spread as if he was begging Robert to stand between them.
“I’m— that’s you.”
Once he was settled, Robert stroked a hand down his flank, then hitched one of his legs up, groaning at the little whimper that the movement pulled from Herman.
The position was awful. It was awkward, something he never thought he’d be doing, what with Herman’s long legs thrown over his shoulders, the hair on the man’s shins tickling against his cheeks.
“Can you— hold on.” Robert dropped one of the legs, grunting from effort as he snatched a pillow from the head of the bed, his other hand tapping against Herman’s hip. “Lift up, my dick isn’t like yours.”
It made him nervous, watching as Herman adjusted himself, the shifting of his hips making his cock flop against his stomach with a loud smack. Robert stroked his thumb against the ridge on the underside of the shaft, pushing up against the squishy flesh.
Herman never got fully hard.
Honestly, if he did, Robert assumed that he might pass out from the amount of blood needed to turn his dick into something completely stiff.
For him, though, if Herman patted his back the right way, or said something in a low enough voice, his cock would perk up, happy to stand at attention while wetness seeped out of him.
When he’d started his testosterone shots, everyone had said that eventually his body would calm down, that he wouldn’t have to fist his cock into his palm four times a day.
Apparently, his body never got the memo.
Once Herman was settled, Robert pushed his thumbs up against where Herman’s pale skin shifted in hue to a baby pink, the tip of one finger stroking over his clenching hole, enough pressure to tease, but never pushing in.
“God— I fucking love you.” His dick was aching, he could feel his heartbeat throbbing through it, jumping at the idea of humping against Herm.
“I feel the— you— you too.”
Robert slid a hand between his own legs, dipping his fingers just briefly inside of himself to gather up some of the wetness, carefully spreading it over Herman’s hole. It took getting up onto his tiptoes to actually line himself up, his hand pinching his pubic mound to squish his achy cock out as much as he could before pushing up against Herman.
Not perfect at all, but it did feel good, the friction. He could feel himself clenching up around nothing, slick wetting his inner thighs as it leaked from him in anticipation. At the very least he knew that if his rutting against Herman did get dry, there was a plethora of lube waiting for him to be used.
For a moment, he did briefly consider saying ‘fuck it’, kicking himself out of the stupid fantasy of being the ‘top’, and crawling up into Herman’s lap to just let the man fuck him into the mattress and leave his head empty.
But then he felt Herman clench and wiggle down against him, and he locked the fantasy into place, intent on making it a reality. The first few strokes were awful, his clit smushing up against Herman’s ass or thigh rather than the prize of his hole, or just jerky enough that neither of them got anything from it.
“Let me—“ One of Herman’s hands gripped his hip, manually moving him to an unspoken rhythm, Robert huffing out a little moan as the soft impacts started to actually do something for him. “Try-try that?”
“Ye-ep.” He did, even when Herman pulled his hand away, counting the pace of his thrusts in his mind like a metronome.
It was less ‘fucking’ and more ‘humping desperately against an ass’.
Which worked.
Robert had sweat dripping down his face, the hair of his sideburns slicking down as he desperately rutted his hips forward, the soft flesh of his clit rubbing up against Herman’s hole.
His inner thighs, where his pubes were rubbing, had turned a bright pink, from the friction and how desperately he was smacking his hips forward against the other man.
“Feels— feels good—“ Herman was flushed the same way he was, a dazed expression on his face. “Your dick… ‘s big…”
Robert snorted, squeezing his arms around Herman’s legs tighter. “It’s not, but thanks.”
At least he was enjoying himself, as much as one could enjoy themselves when they were frantically being rutted against. His dick seemed more stiff than it had been before, maybe that’s why he looked like he was on the verge of passing out. Too much blood downstairs, not enough to make his brain function.
He wondered briefly if Herman’s arms were long enough to reach down so that he could slide a couple of fingers into him, though the thought quickly flew out of the window when the man in question moved a hand down to grip his cock, stroking along the shaft slowly. The motion milked a pearly bead of pre from his urethra, the droplet dripping down to form a thick strand that connected the tip of his cock to his belly.
“You’re hot.”
Maybe it was the build up, or just the fact that he really was that into Herman, but the desperate rubbing had pushed him to the edge fairly quickly, his dick twitching and the string in his gut that told him he wasn’t far from the end pulled taut.
It pulled even tighter when Herman met one of his thrusts, fraying as he watched him stroke his cock.
What did him in in the end, though, was the way Herman whispered out his name, lips swollen from being chewed, eyes hazy and half lidded.
“Ro-ob-bert—“
It was like a punch to the gut, the thread snapping and Robert slamming his hips forward so hard that he swore drywall crumbled from behind the bedframe. His dick was sore and aching, jerking in time with his heartbeat as he rode out the orgasm, fluid dripping down his legs and into a small puddle on the ground.
With the aftershocks running through him, his legs felt weak, like at any moment they might buckle and send him falling into a pile of boneless sap onto the ground. In a last ditch effort to prevent that, Robert shoved Herman aside, squeezing into the space between the lanky man and the wall. It was, however, the perfect position to watch as Herman took himself in hand, stroking himself to completion, heavy ropes of cum dribbling over his knuckles as he gasped and panted through his own orgasm.
It looked like he was going to wipe his hand on the blanket for a moment, but then Robert’s side was cold, Herman rolling off the bed to snatch the discarded towel from earlier and clean his fingers off.
“So… shower? For you, not me.” His legs were too wobbly to stand on, anyways. “My old bones can’t take it.”
“You’re not—“ Herman snorted, the noise coming from the back of his throat. “—not that old. Not even middle aged.”
“I’ll get a strap. We can even go buy it together.” He yawned, toeing down the blanket so that he could kick it up over himself. “That was good for me, it could be better for you.”
“Aw, I like-liked it. You looked so cute!” Hand cleaned, Herman stood to brush the hair on Robert’s forehead back, pressing a kiss between his eyebrows. “So-o determined.”
“Alright, fuck off. Go shower, asshole.” With a fake pout, he curled up on his side, facing away from Herman. “Don’t make fun of me when your dick was hard the whole time.”
“Hehe. Okay!” One last kiss, and then his voice got quieter. “G’night, I’ll turn the lights off when I come to— come back.”
“Mhm.”
He was half asleep already, especially when the shower turned on, only waking briefly when the bed shifted and he was able to tuck himself up into Herman’s side.
In the morning, he was pleased with the heavy ache in his thighs, even as he limped around the apartment to start coffee.
