Work Text:
It was the night after the 2nd day of debut showcase pre-recording. The members reached their dorm late at night and decided to order haidilao as everyone was already tired from the events of the day. They all gathered in the dorm shared by Junseo, Xinlong, Sangwon and Anxin for dinner. They discussed the events of the day and how happy they were to show Allyz what they have been preparing since so long.
Only one person was queit in the chaos of discussions. There sat Anxin on the far corner of the dining table lost in his thoughts. Leo who was sitting beside him was the first one to notice his quietness. He asked him 'Hey Xinie why so quiet? This is so unusual of you!' Anxin didn't know what exactly to answer so he kept it simple 'Just tired and sleepy hyung'. Everybody seemed to accept his answer as they knew that though the boy was super energetic there were times when he just would just lie down and rest in the middle of practice sessions. And also because the day had been really tiring for all of them after so many takes during pre-recording.
Everyone except the person across him-Sangwon. He quietly observed Anxin from time to time seeing how he has been acting quiet distant after the recording ended. He didn't know the reason but also didn't want to pry right now. Especially with everybody here. So he decided he would ask him after eveyone went to their respective dorms and rooms.
An hour later everybody went to their respective dorms. Sangwon decided to reach Anxin but he had already gone to his room he shared with Xinlong. Though a bit disappointed he returned to his room.
On the other hand despite the exhaustion and tiredness from the day Anxin could not bring himself to sleep.
What was the thing that was bothering him so much.
He decided to finally confront the situation that had been bothering him since the ending of pre-recording. He finally gathered his courage to go to Sangwon's room hoping he was up as it had been only 45 minutes since he came to his room and that Sangwon usually reads for atleast an hour before going to sleep.
He reached Sangwon's door and without giving second thought he quietly knocked on his door.
Just like Anxin had thought Sangwon was actually reading his book. Upon hearing the door being knocked Samgwon wondered who it might be at this hour. With his soft 'Come in' the person entered. He was confused seeing Anxin walking into his room considering he thought that Anxin was tired and he might be sleeping. So what was Anxin doing here. He teasingly asked him 'Anxinie did Xinlong scared you again with his sleep talk?'
Anxin laughed a bit but then straightened up. 'No hyung, actually I came to talk to you.' The fact that Sangwon had been wanting to talk with Anxin and Anxin being here himself to talk with him gave him the opportunity to know what he had been wanting to know. Sangwon motioned for him to sit with him.
Anxin joined Sangwon on his bed and saw the book he was reading being kept aside. Sangwon's whole attention being turned to him 'Actually I also wanted to ask you something before but you already went to your room' Sangwon said. Watching Anxin quietly listen to him Sangwon continued 'Since dinner i have been observing that something has been bothering you. You kept playing with your sleeves and were constantly in your own space. Infact since the pre-recording ended you have been kinda distant. Anxinie is everything alright? You know you can tell hyung right.'
'Hyung actually thats what I came here to talk with you.'Anxin replied. Sangwon was listening patiently, urging him to continue seeing Anxin hesitating. 'Hyung you know during the pre-recording when we bumped with each other and then you picked me up....'
'Hmm what about it Anxin-ah'. Anxin didnt know how to word it out nicely since he was experiencing such a thing for the first time so he just went with the flow 'Hyung I..I dont know how to explain it but when you picked me up.. it kinda felt weird here' he said pointing to his chest. 'It felt like something was flipping inside my stomach. Hyung I..I could only see you at that time. I dont know what words i should be giving to this feeling but hyung... you made my heart flutter. And till now i cant stop thinking about it and i feel so ashamed of feeling this way. Sorry hyung but i dont know what to do..' Anxin kept on ranting about what he felt, his eyes turning glossy trying to avoid Sangwon's eyes so as to not see the disappointment or something worse.
Sangwon who had been listening to him silently lifted his chin to finally look at him. To Anxin's surprise he did not see the disappointment but something else, something tender in his eyes. 'Anxina you dont have to feel ashamed of your feelings. Neither you have to feel weird.' With his soft voice he continued making sure Anxin was listening to everything he had to say 'Do you how I felt at that time lifting you up. It felt like it was only me and you. Do you know how I feel everytime you smile and your dimple shows up. Do you know how much it hurts hyung seeing you struggling so hard but still keeping on cheering everyone. Do you know how much hyung wants to be with you right now!.' To hear all this coming from Sangwon, to say Anxin was surprised would be an understatement.
Despite seeing Anxin's shocked face Samgwon continued, his voice getting an octave lower and husky and their heads coming coser 'Do you know how much hyung wants to kiss you right now' His eyes darting towards Anxin's lip asking for silent permission. Anxin didnt know what to say soo he just gave a slight nod.
Sangwon leaned in and their lips joined. Though Anxin was inexperienced he followed Sangwon's lead and soon their lips were moving in sync. They parted their lips in need of oxygen, both staring at each other with something deep.
Their breaths still heavy from the kiss Sangwon said softly, his eyes fixated on Anxin's 'Never feel ashamed of the fact you like me Anxinie. Hyung loves you a lot. Hyung will hold you, lift you anytime you need. You are mine Anxinie, my AnGod. Take you time figuring out'.
'I..I like you too hyung..very much' said Anxin once again leaning for the kiss. This time it was not soft but filled with passion, a bit rough, their love being poured into it.
Both forgetting the outside world. In there it was just them. Something connected them at that moment that both knew would be for very long, maybe forever.
What once bothered Anxin was laid in open for them to connect in a way that connected not just them but their souls.