Chapter Text
Keeho wouldn't say his admiration was.. obvious. Rather he did it in a way that didn't show how he truly felt about him. About Theo.
It started with soft fingers running through his hair during recording sessions, letting him fall asleep on his shoulder- not moving an inch as to not wake him or deter him- he was head over heels. And the fact it was a new feeling wasn't helping either. See Keeho knew he was never straight, he never really given it any thought though- letting it crawl into the back of his mind whenever he would hear his sister call a guy cute even though he really wanted to say something along the lines of 'yeah he kinda is.' or, 'you're right.'- but he never did.
So he would support his community like he wasn't even a part of it, because God knows what the fans would do if they where to find out he was gay.
Now, back to Theo. Theo, in keehos eyes he was the most handsome boy ever, his hair felt like soft silk, his eyes like pools of dark warmth and his voice a siren pulling keeho closer into love with every note. Though, things had been different between the two, eye contact felt prolonged- in the bad way -and running his fingers through his hair felt like wading through spiderwebs, soft yet uncomfy and rather unpleasant. It wasn't the same, or not like how keeho wanted it to be. He never got the chance to ask about this odd tension though, untill now.
They where in L.A. for a tour, the other 4 decided to explore the city after some photo shoots and collabs. Though keeho and theo stayed back, keeho had to work on their comeback, and Theo just didn't like the loudness of the city, he'd rather sleep. Keeho watched as theos chest rose and fell with every perfectly paced breath as his body relaxed into sleep. Keeho let himself watch the other, he didn't expect Theos eyes to open and meet his. Shit. The words he had been keeping on his tounge came out like they where waiting till keeho decided to blurt whatever came to mind first.
"W-why are you so tense with me lately-?"
The words hung in the air, dripping like hot wax onto keehos skin. Why would he say that? Why would he even bring it up? But the way Theo met his eyes, that confused yet understanding look. He knew what he was talking about. So what could keeho do but keep talking untill his mind unraveled?
So he continued, "Your always avoiding my touch and you feel tense when I do touch you- it's not like were anything but friends, so why are you so avoidan-"
Theo cut him off. His look the same one he gives Soul or Jongseob when they lean on his shoulder after a long dance practice. That soft sorry look, one that melts your soul and makes you wanna snuggle up and sleep. But this look did the opposite to keeho- was he being rude? Was he trying to play down the situation and keehos worry for their friendship by being condescending? Theo cut him off mid thought.
"Are you- gay?"
Theos words didn't even register fully to keeho before he was denying, immediately shaking his head and scoffing. Scoffing like he isn't madly in love with Theo, like his didn't wanna kiss his sweet face every time he leans against him after dance practice. His words came out cracked and unsure
"N-no! What! Obviously not!"
Theo just gave him a look, a knowing one.
"Keeho. I saw your journal-"
"My journal? Why where you looking in my journal?!"
"Wh- it was on your bed and it was open- I was just putting it away!"
Keehos face went red. On his bed. Open. Soul. It had to be soul. God he hates that kid.. (not really.)
"What did you see-?!"
Theo looked away, his face almost as red as keehos. He spoke softly and slowly.
"It was just talking about you having a crush on some guy.. and- uh- you know we all support the LGBT right-?"
Keeho immediately shut his laptop, standing up and making his way to the bathroom in their shared hotel room. Shit. He wished he could just disappear. But Theo grabbed his arm and twirled him to look at him face to face.
"Keeho."
Keeho felt himself shiver, God. That voice, wrong time Theo- he was supposed to be stressing up, not feeling his stomach flip and looking down at those soft lips..- nevermind. He had to respond.
"What."
Theo stood up, moving closer to the younger.
"I won't tell them, I don't care if your gay or straight, you don't have to hide. I just- I was distant cause I knew and I felt like I was invading your privacy by looking in your journal-"
Keeho pulled him into a hug, his arms wrapping around him like he would fall into pieces if he where to let go.
"God- I.. shit Theo.."
Keeho realized his voice was wet and broken before he even realized he was crying against Theos shoudler. He felt like he was finally open, like a oyster with a normal exterior, but with a shiny untouched pearl on the inside, raw and fragile, yet yearning to be spoken about and known. Known and seen. That's what Theo made him feel.