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It wasn’t as weird as she thought it would be.
Kissing her didn’t feel like kissing a machine. It felt like the real thing. The way Zosia would pull her hair, suck her bottom lip, cup her face trying to keep Carol still... It felt real enough that she could completely ignore the whole hive mind thing for a minute or two.
Zosia used one hand to protect the back of Carol’s head and another to absorb the impact on her back when she pushed her against the wall, an attempt at a compromise that would be rough, as they knew she wanted, and their inability to do harm.
But Carol was far too human for that.
There was accidental harm — blunt nails digging into her skin, sucking a purple bruise on her neck that bordered on painful, hair pulling that made the other woman gasp and be pulled away from the kiss. Carol’s nail marks were all over Zosia, scared that this hive would take that from her, too.
When she felt a knee in between her legs, the blonde woman gasped, although it shouldn’t have been any surprise that she would do that. Zosia had the memory of every single queer woman on the planet and was well familiar with what to do, but Carol couldn’t help but hope that there was a hint of muscle memory with how fast and naturally she acted.
“Fuck,” Carol gasped a bit weakly, moving her hips against the lean thigh beneath her, unable to hold back the moans that came from it.
The brunette promptly swallowed every little sound she made, feeling the moist warmth press against her muscles up and down. Carol was just thrusting against it, the friction against her clothed clit making her even wetter. They separated the kiss for just a moment, mostly because Zosia wanted to watch Carol get off on her.
“I suppose we already are,” She shifted her leg just to give her a better angle, the smug smirk on her lips who would drive anyone (but mostly Carol) completely insane. “Would you like to–”
“Shut up. Please, just–” Firm hands gripped at the brunette’s shoulders, unsure if it was to push her away or pull her closer. Inevitably, it ended with their lips crashing again.
This time, the shorter woman inverted their positions and pushed her against the wall instead. She tried really hard not to fumble, even when her mouth tasted like whiskey, and the xanax she had taken had barely made any effect yet. With a swift movement, she pulled Zosia’s shirt over her head, but it took them a moment to untangle it correctly from her hair.
This made her laugh. Carol felt her stomach swirl with the sound of her laugh.
The way her brown eyes would sparkle, and the wrinkles around them would become more evident, how her chest would rise slightly, and the sound of her voice. It made her smile, too.
“All good?”
“Aye, captain,” Zosia said playfully, cheeks flushed pink, and Carol was a bit too love-drunk to remember that Helen had made this joke before.
“Good. Can we go to the bedroom?”
She smiled, pretending she didn’t know where it was. “Lead the way.”
Their clothes disappeared rather quickly along the corridors, the only sound that could be heard was muffled moans, fabrics shuffling, and quick steps, with occasional bumps against the wall as they refused to stop kissing on their way to the bedroom.
“Are you wet?” Carol whispered in between kisses, her hand shifting to cup her breast, thumb brushing over her nipple.
“Yes, I am. It is a biological response,” Zosia smiles, lying in bed effortlessly beautiful underneath her.
Carol looked down at her, almost frustratedly angry. She wanted to wipe that smug smile off her face, but instead pushed her over the bed, getting on top.
“Fuck you,” she rolled her eyes, mumbling against damp skin before taking a nipple into her mouth.
Her hand drifted lower until she found the damp underwear, impatiently shoving her fingers down the fabric to trace the slick heat underneath. Carol’s fingers were brushing on Zosia's clit, rubbing slow circles on it as they kissed. She missed the feeling of a woman’s body and warmth on hers, the taste of her lips, and how she would gasp into her mouth.
This feeling was… Something. It felt like cheating, somehow. This was Helen's bed, too. But then Zosia let out a faint moan next to her ear, and her brain stopped working for just a second.
She pushed two fingers inside the woman under her, a bit desperate to keep those sweet moans coming to distract her from the ghost of her wife in her mind.
A strangled moan left her lips. For a hive mind, Zosia looked quite human right now. Eyelids fluttering, her legs threatening to close around Carol’s wrist, weak gasps and even some whimpers with the effort, as if she was trying not to come already.
Carol kept a steady rhythm, curling her fingers just to rub inside of Zosia and watch how she would whine and grab the sheets. How her chest would move with heavy breathing. She kissed her neck, burying herself in her, drowning in her.
As much fun as it was, a hint of guilt was gnawing at her insides.
“Carol?” Zosia's voice was weak, panting slightly.
“Yeah?” She slowed down her movements a little.
“Is… Is there something wrong?” There was a hint of satisfaction as Carol noticed that Zosia struggled a bit with her words.
But yes, there was something wrong.
And no, she wouldn't talk about it.
Her fingers stilled inside Zosia, staring at her for a moment. She observed the confusion with growing curiosity, and then something that looked a lot like panic growing into the mind hive’s expression. Genuine distress at not being able to read Carol’s mind.
“Carol?” The pleading tone sent shivers down her spine, “What… What's wrong? What are you doing? Why did you stop?”
There was a sick and twisted sense of power in hearing those pleas, watching those brown eyes looking so confused and hazy with pleasure as she was denied what she wanted. Not knowing what was on Carol’s mind was killing her, making her incredibly anxious.
“Please, Carol. Can… Can you continue? Did we do something to upset you?” Carol ignored how she sounded desperate now. She made a mental note that it sounded kind of hot.
“No, sorry, you’re perfect, I…” Why did I say that? “Sorry.”
“No need to apologize.”
Soft hands found their way into Carol’s hips, and she allowed herself to be guided. Her entire body was hot and malleable to her touch, and she moved her hips along as Zosia pulled the boy shorts down her thighs. She shimmied a bit, groaning a bit frustrated.
“Can we touch you?” They ask, and she nods her head in a silent no.
“It’s okay,” She straddled one of Zosia’s legs, her untrimmed bush tickling the other woman’s leg slightly, but when Carol thrust forward now, Zosia moaned in synchrony with her.
“That felt good, baby?” It sounded real. So real. The way her gaze fixated on Carol with adoration felt more real than her entire last few months, so she clung to that — she clung to Zosia.
“God, yes.”
Carol’s middle and ring fingers curled a bit deeper inside the other woman, her palm pressing against Zosia’s clit with every thrust. When Zosia let out a whimper, she couldn’t help but thrust again, her head falling to the other woman’s shoulder. Carol didn’t even try to hold back her pathetic moans.
But her focus was on the woman beneath her. The gorgeous, whimpering mess with the brown hair and brown eyes that were coaxing her into complete delusion, like a siren calling out her name in the sea during the worst storm of her life.
“Can you beg for it?” Her voice came out before she could even stop it. Zosia struggled to make sense of her words.
“We– Oh,” her sentence was interrupted by a broken moan, because Carol slowed down her thrusts just enough to take a second to massage her clit with her thumb. “We can beg.”
Carol stopped her movements, glaring down, her thumb still making a firm pressure against Zosia’s clit and fingers still inside her.
Zosia’s brows furrowed in distress, whining, looking at Carol with those huge eyes. The view sent a shiver straight to her cunt, but she remained serious.
“Why… Keep going? Please?” A smile tugged at her lips, a desperate attempt to convince her to continue, still with those sweet and pleading eyes. “We missed you, Carol.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Carol shifted so she was towering over her. “Just… Shut the fuck up. Stop saying we. Say I.”
Zosia gasped when Carol pressed her thumb a bit firmer, almost harshly, against her. Her pussy clenched around Carol’s fingers, desperately trying to keep her inside. It didn’t matter because she pulled out completely either way.
“P-please, I want you to fuck me. I need you. Please, Carol, please. I just want to make you happy–” The begging started to fall from her lips like a prayer, the smile dropping as her body reacted.
A biological reaction, the hive said. Still, it felt like an urge. Something so utterly human about the hunger in Zosia’s eyes made Carol convince herself that it was real.
“Please, please… I’ll be good, I’ll make you feel good, just… Please, Carol, I…” Her eyes started to water a little. Without warning, Carol pushed her fingers in again.
“Keep begging, or I’ll stop.”
Zosia begged, pleaded, and almost prayed to Carol at this point. Anger flooded through Carol with the thought that she didn’t know what Zosia was, what was a ‘biological reaction’, and what was a pure performance made to please her.
That’s what they wanted, right? To please her.
Sending a supermodel to her bed begging to be fucked by her.
She felt a bit like throwing up, but convinced herself that it was the alcohol in her system.
But Zosia was begging, whining, moaning for her. Her lips were trembling, and her nails were digging into Carol’s back muscles, her biceps, every time they flexed at each thrust. A string of broken moans and her body stirring in bed made Carol realize that she was about to come.
A twisted need to pull out again came upon her, but before she could do it, Zosia gripped her forearm, trying to keep her in. Even if she couldn’t read her mind, she knew Carol. It was almost involuntary, a glimpse of the human urge to be pleasured instead of pleasing. Was it still manipulation?
“Please. Stay. Don’t stop, keep… Keep going, don’t stop, please, I’ll be good…” Carol was almost at the verge herself just by looking into Zosia’s helpless expression. Carol was merciful enough to let her come, and watching her mouth open in agape, the sensation of her body shivering against Carol’s felt awfully similar to the fireworks she exploded in the middle of her street.
It was like feeling, seeing something in the middle of a void.
She barely gave Zosia a minute before straddling her thigh again, and her thigh pressed slightly against her cunt again. Zosia whined, trying to pull back in reflex, but Carol pulled out from her and held onto her hips with the other in a desperate attempt to keep her still.
“Sorry. Sorry, baby, I’ll be gentle,” It was almost begging, and she pulled her knee away from Zosia.
The other woman nodded, still with her mind hazy and body limp, but one of her hands went to Carol’s hips. Not guiding her at all, just to touch her there in a silent incentive to keep going. It was exactly what she needed.
Her fingers were still slick and coated. Carol didn’t even hesitate to squeeze Zosia’s hips in a gentle warning.
“Open.” She obeyed.
In one swift motion, Carol slipped her fingers in between her lips. Her fingers were promptly enveloped by warm wetness and Zosia started to suck, her tongue flickering and the soft buzzing of her humming happily.
Carol steadied herself with a hand over Zosia’s lean stomach as she pushed forward on her thigh, eyelids fluttering close. She tried to start slow, she really did try to make it last, but watching Zosia come did too much to her system. Soon, her hips were thrusting forward again and again, her clit pressing against her thigh and making a wet mess all over the other woman’s leg.
“You’re so beautiful, Carol,” Zosia says, her hand squeezing her slightly when Carol finally pulls her fingers out. “Can you ride harder for me, baby? Show me how good you look?”
Every word was exactly what she needed, her moans sounded downright pathetic as she fucked herself against Zosia. Nothing mattered anywhere else besides how close she was getting and the hand on her hips keeping her grounded.
Carol came quickly and hard, groaning and moaning desperately. When she pushed herself off Zosia, she noticed how the soft glow of the outside lights showed the glistening of her release on her thigh, and it was practically dripping onto the sheets.
Neither of them minded as Carol threw herself a bit dramatically on the bed next to her with a loud groan, making Zosia giggle a little.
“You sound like an old man.” She teased, and Carol chuckled too.
“Hey, I’m fifty! And riding takes effort, okay?” Zosia laughed more, and Carol blushed slightly before giving her a weak punch to the shoulder. “Aw, fuck off.”
The mood became light with her softness and humor, and all the worries washed away when Zosia turned in bed to lie against her chest, arm resting over her torso and head resting in between her breasts.
Carol let out a happy sigh, her arm wrapping around Zosia and pulling her closer. She inhaled the soft scent of vanilla and sandalwood. They remained in each other’s arms for a long time, and as much as Carol tried to ignore it, there was a small voice at the back of her head trying to tell her to wake up.
“This isn’t real,” Carol whispered to no one in particular, staring at the bedroom ceiling after a long silence.
Soft hands found her face almost immediately, tugging at Carol’s chin to make eye contact. Zosia seemed even more unreal underneath the moonlight, it felt like a wet dream that she would wake up any time soon.
“It is real,” She confirmed, voice laced with something that was a tad overly sweet. “I don’t feel real to you?”
Carol didn’t answer. Instead, she pulled her closer, hiding her face in her hair as if this would make everything better. The younger woman was covering her body like her own personal blanket.
“It is real. I came back for you, and it is real, Carol.”
Carol closed her eyes, and she believed it, like the idiot she was.
She believed it.