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„State your business.” Mr. Thee says with a harsh look on his face. He’s not hiding the fact that he’d rather be anywhere else. „If this is about you tearing up your brand ambassador contract, I won’t take action against you. You can leave.”
Aran slowly removes the sunglasses he put on earlier. Being so close to Mr. Thee again after everything that had happened isn’t easy and if he had any other choice he wouldn’t dare to speak to him, with just the two of them there. However, he can do nothing else as he has no real power and right now, the only thing in his mind is Tawan’s wellbeing. Because it doesn’t matter how many times the man who isn’t even his boyfriend hurt him, he can’t sit around while he knows Tawan is suffering somewhere.
There’s a slight tremble in his hands, but he ignores it. He has already made up his mind, so he’ll go through with the plan. It’s his last desperate attempt.
„This isn’t about that.” It doesn’t matter how much he wants to appear fearless, it’s no use. Aran can’t keep maintaining eye contact for more than a few seconds, but at least his voice hasn’t cracked yet. „Tawan’s family was sued into bankruptcy. It was you doing, wasn’t it?”
Choosing his words and tone carefully is delicate work. Aran needs to remind himself constantly that he’s here to ask a huge favor – he doesn’t want to seem like he’s calling out Mr. Thee for what he’s done. He just could not live with himself if he didn’t try.
„That’s the result of his own actions.” The words hit Aran like cold water. The maffia boss speaks truth, yet Aran’s heart aches. „I just sped up his karma. Did you expect me to give appreciation flowers to a horrible guy like him?”
Of course, Aran knows Tawan isn’t perfect. But everybody around him who say these words only met Tawan when he was at his worst – a jealous man controlled by his own anger and frustration.
They haven’t met Tawan when he cancelled a shoot day with a made up excuse to be with Aran when he was sick. They don’t know about the month when Aran had to go on a diet and Tawan cooked for both of them, trying to make the hunger more bearable by doing it with him. Nobody but Aran spent countless nights watching cheesy movies and building lego sets with Tawan.
Aran might’ve had enough of the crazy jealous, irresponsible acts of Tawan, but love doesn’t just disappear into thin air. With the actor’s whole family going into hiding, Tawan had no one left there for him. If Aran doesn’t help him, no one will.
„But if he hadn’t gotten in trouble with you, none of this would have happened.” A little pang of guilt stirs in Aran when he speaks. Despite hating it so much, he was always the cause of Tawan’s bad behaviour and this wasn’t any different.
„Those bad things were hidden under the rug. Even if I hadn’t exposed them, someone else would have noticed them sooner or later.” The argument Mr. Thee makes is unbeatable. Aran stays silent, trying to ignore the sting in his eyes. „You can leave. I’m going to work.”
The panic is rising inside Aran. He has played this scenario while on the road to here in his head and he knows he will have no other chance, he shouldn’t hesitate.
He doesn’t.
„I have an offer.”
The words slid of his tongue and they make Mr. Thee turn back around. Both of Aran’s hands turn into fists, but he hides them under the sleeve of his cardigan. He can believe what he’s about to say; it undoes everything he stands for and believes in, it’s something he never thought would be possible for him to do.
He remembers the utter disgust he felt when the man standing in front of him first approached him with five other person. He was glad Peach came and interfered, but even if he didn’t, Aran would have never given in.
It’s strange. Love hasn’t been kind to him – it has given him more hurt than comfort, but those fleeting moments of true happiness have a hold on Aran he can’t seem to let go of. He feels like there’s not a single thing he’s uncapable of doing, if it’s to make sure Tawan will be all right.
„About Tawan, I know someone at your level can help him no matter what.” Aran looks into Mr. Thee’s eyes and immediately withdraws from there. The tears are threatening to fall and he doesn’t want to look scared. Even though he hasn’t been this afraid before in his whole life. „Whatever you want from me, just take it. Just help him.”
There it is, the final cards put on the table. Aran’s vision is blurred – he can’t help but imagine the things he might have to do if Mr. Thee accepts his ask for help. He made it far into the model career without ever crossing the line so many other, much more unfortunate people in the same world as him had to do.
Fate plays a cruel game, Aran knows that well enough. It’s making him give away his body and his soul along with it, the precious things Tawan only ever wanted for himself. The reason for the actor’s childish, senseless behavior that got him blacklisted from everywhere and kicked out of his own home. But what else could Aran offer?
Unable to look up, Aran slowly sinks down on his knees. He feels miserable and small, nowhere near to the proud man he always like to think himself as.
„What are you doing?” Mr. Thee sounds genuinely taken aback by Aran’s move.
It doesn’t make a difference. Clinging to the last remains of hope, Aran manages to look up and almost sob while begging.
„I’ll do anything!” Aran’s voice finally cracks.
He can get over it if it ever were to happen. He would never get close to a man like Mr. Thee, but he could be much worse. Maybe if Aran goes along with everything he says and things go smooth, they get it over soon and he can quickly forget about it.
A breath gets stuck in his throat. It feels like no air can get to Aran’s lungs, but he keeps imagining what Tawan must be going through. He didn’t choose to be born into that horrible family – the family Aran often blamed for never showing Tawan how to love properly. Now, they left him all alone, only looking out for themselves.
Maybe Tawan never has to know this whole thing happened. Aran did officially broke any ties between them the last time they’ve seen each other – at least in Tawan’s mind, Aran would stay the same. And Aran would know that Tawan still has someone who cares for him, even if their relationship would never be. Oh, how Aran desperately needs that to be the case. It would make himself feel less dirty. Less used for nothing.
„Don’t do this- hey, get up!” Mr. Thee grabs his shoulders to make him stand up, but Aran can’t bring himself to move.
The maffia boss shouldn’t make it this hard. He needs to take the win, he shouldn’t act like he didn’t want this and accept Aran’s offer.
„What is happening here?”
„Aran? You should get up!”
Two familiar voice hits Aran’s ears and he looks to the side at the source. There’s Peach taking two steps at the same time to go to him. He gently removes Mr. Thee’s hands from his shoulders and tries to get Aran to stand up himself. But Aran’s entire focus is elsewhere; he’s looking directly into Tawan’s wide eyes with his own, red and welled up ones.
His heart speeds up. First, he’s happy to see him in one piece. And then suddenly, he’s afraid because of another reason – if Tawan comes striking with his fists again, he is doomed forever. Aran won’t be able to help him. He knows the actor better than anyone and he can see from the look on his face that Tawan’s confusion is mixing with anger. They are seconds away from a fight.
Aran lets out a small whimper, having lost the last miniscule amount of hope he had until now. He starts preparing himself to attempt holding back Tawan, however, the need to act never comes.
Peach seems to notice the actor next after finally getting Aran to get up slowly. There’s a pause of silence – most likely Peach is waiting for Tawan’s hit that doesn’t come -, but after nobody moves for a good fifteen seconds, Peach speaks first.
„We should all head outside.”
The four of them go to stand on top of the Arseni building. Peach and Mr. Thee are leaning against a brick wall while a bit further from them but not out of sight, there’s Tawan and Aran.
„What were you doing, Aran?” Tawan asks with a tight voice. Aran can’t seem to find the strength to look at the actor, so he’s looking at his feet.
„I just- I didn’t know how to help you. I really didn’t know, but I wanted to.” The words are barely audible. „I couldn’t reach you.”
Aran couldn’t just ignore his worry. Anywhere he looked on social media, the only things he would see were police reports and news about the investigation. People kept trashing Tawan, the same ones who used to write pages about what an amazing actor he was.
„I had to turn off my phone. My phone number got leaked and people kept calling me.” Tawan answers him and steps a little closer. Aran’s not seeing Tawan’s face, but judging from the way he moves his hands, he’s hesitating before reaching out to gently touch Aran’s face. „What were you trying to do earlier?”
The warm he feels where Tawan’s touching his cheek makes him look at the actor again. That’s the wrong move – after seeing the expression on his face, Aran know he can’t lie to him.
He feels ashamed for offering himself up to somebody, but it comes nowhere close to the feeling he has now, having to talk about it to the one he actually loves. He was prepared to use himself to help him, but he wasn’t prepared for Tawan to find out. He’s afraid how he might react and how he might look at him different after finding out how easy Aran almost was for someone else.
„Mr. Thee has everything. He has both money and power, but I have nothing to negotiate with him.” Aran can feel Tawan’s hold become a little stronger, but it’s still far from painful. It still just gives him the slightest comfort possible in the situation. „I only remembered what he wanted from me when we first met.”
When Aran gets to the last sentence, Tawan drops the hand that has been holding his face.
Tawan know very well what the words mean; Aran told him about the situation when he asked for a break at the parking lot. Where Peach rescued him from the confrontation and Tawan misunderstood the whole thing.
Aran waits for the bomb to set off. It’s about time – Tawan might’ve had some enough control to not start throwing punches the moment he saw Aran surrounded other people, but this is a big deal. Hearing something like this, it must be true torture to a possessive man like Tawan.
„Did you offer to sleep with him, so he would help me?” Tawan’s voice breaks in a way Aran has never heard before and he watches the scene unfold in front of him with widened eyes.
Both of Tawan’s hands reach out to hold Aran’s and he gets down on his knees. The sight shakes Aran to the core and all the words disappear from his brain at once. „I’m so sorry, Aran. Words can’t describe how sorry I am.”
Aran can’t comprehend what’s happening.
„N-no, Tawan… Get up, what are you doing?” Tawan just shakes his head and never lets go off Aran’s hands while he tries to make him stand up.
„I’ve been awful to you. I never deserved the love you gave me, I know that now. You showed nothing but deep care for me and I thanked you with causing problems all the time, sabotaging the only good relationship in my life.” Tawan’s words are now slurred and tears keep sliding across his face. Watching him is so pitiful and heart-wrenching Aran almost wants to look away, but he can’t. „You’re worth far more than me. You’re too good, too beautiful and too loving for me. You always said I was a selfish fool and now I know you’re right, because… I still need to ask. Could you ever forgive me for making you think you had to save me? For making you think this was something you should do for me? I’m sorry, Aran. Truly.”
Aran sinks down next to the crying man. They look into each other’s eyes and the world stops, just for the two of them.
Love is complicated. Some people can make countless mistakes and still be welcomed back with open arms. Other times, one mistake is all it takes for all the fire to go out forever. And there is no answer sheet that tells the right from wrong. Is giving more than one chance worth it? There’s not two people who would answer that question the same way.
Aran might make a decision someone else wouldn’t, he himself isn’t sure yet – but right at that moment, he does what his heart tells him.
Maybe he will forgive Tawan. He might not.
But to love him fully again, Tawan has a lot to prove.