Archive of Our Own

It wasn't uncommon for him to feel this way; in fact, as far as he could remember, Itrapped had always held this dreadful feeling inside his heart. The one that tightened his chest so much it felt his heart was collapsing. When he was younger, Itrapped heard countless times that he couldn't expect people to behave the way he needed them to, that is—he couldn't expect reassurance all the time, or, simply wait for someone to reach out for him if he would just end up turning his back on them, that's not how a human should act nor expect others to do the same. He didn't know how to put an end to this behavior, as it was slowly turning into the only way he could live. Itrapped started to believe that, the less people around him, the less hurt he—and the others—would be. That was, of course, selfish thinking, but when you get used to something, it just comes naturally. After all of his attempts of create significant bonds were completely in vain, he just accepted his defeat and started relying on his own company.

Obviously, he felt lonely from time to time, he was lonely. Some of his nights, if not spent awake fantasizing of what would it be like to have someone, anyone, by his side, were spent in the dark. His body, already weak from crying and begging for something to change, was the only one to be there for him.

When growing up, Itrapped was forced to socialize—it was for his own good, the others told him. It didn't feel like it was in the slightest since he only got more afraid of being a failure, why couldn't people just leave him alone?

After maturing and deciding to do things for his own enjoyment, Itrapped had learned that there was a difference between being present and being seen. Presence could be negotiated: a lowered gaze, a few words, a posture that made him small enough to be harmless, things like that not only benefited him but also gave him the confidence he needed to keep going. Being seen, however, was an entirely different form of violence. It was scary, it demanded exposure, demanded that others should be allowed to form opinions he could not intercept or soften. And, by its nature, demanded connection, and Itrapped was the most frightened when it came to displaying vulnerability. He didn't dislike the thought of it, of course not. How nice would it be to have someone who truly understands him, someone who could be his confidant… but none of these people he knew bothered to go beyond small talk, so, he realized he didn't have much in him to want such things to happen. People only called him polite, endearing, charming, and that didn't sound like a problem as long as they thought he was normal, and he was getting good at pretending. Way too good to be honest, to the point of fooling not only others but also himself.

That was, until he visited a casino some time ago. Itrapped's first intention was to form beneficial connections, he always tried to achieve them by doing social climbing as some sort of attempt to assert his presence around them, his enthusiasm would noticeably rise once they started flattering him too much, which was most times, he realized rich people are more stupid than they look like. Money can't buy intelligence at all. He played a few rounds of poker, got drunk with some stupid millionaires, and somehow ended up being friends with one of them. At least—at some point—it could be called a friend. He and Chance connected immediately to his own surprise. He had a genuinely good time around them. They both laughed, they talked about their dreams. They might have shared a kiss somewhere else, the first time his body was in contact with another, though Itrapped's memories of that night were blurry from the alcohol he had. Now, he eventually finds himself being around Chance, whether it's spending time in their house or going to the casino because Chance said that they would have a super awesome party this night and they didn't want to go alone… so of course Itrapped would accept their invite, quickier than he expected, though.

Truth be told. Itrapped had no ulterior motives when he first interacted with Chance. He was just doing what he had to do and then he wanted to get close to Chance and seek for their attention even more. This was all foreign to Itrapped, he never truly cared about keeping anything in his life—after all, nothing would last with him. All of his connections, relationships, were all unstable, but with Chance, he was trying real hard to let go of these thoughts and make something special for them both. He was allowing himself to be vulnerable after so long. He knew he could regret it at any moment, or that Chance could regret having spent so much time with him, but Itrapped didn't want to think about that. At least not now.

Itrapped wouldn't consider his feelings for Chance romantic, to be fair, he didn't know what could be considered romantic or not, has he ever gone this far with someone else before? definitely not, so maybe he was just confused? and desperate for something else? well, he was being an asshole for expecting Chance to feel the same, not everyone is as needy as you, he tried to remember himself.

As the night eventually came, Itrapped started to get ready for his date—no, not a date, his meeting with Chance. Despite his enthusiasm to spend time with Chance, he couldn't bring himself to lie and say he wasn't feeling somewhat nervous—in fact, he wanted to disappear just to avoid the crowd of people he knew that were waiting for him. Unfortunately by this time, it would be too late already and quite inconsiderate to them, who had asked for his presence oh so nicely. He was so quick to refuse requests and invites from the others no matter how important they were, his presence didn't even matter that much anyway. But with Chance, it felt more painful than a stab, because he knew he somehow mattered to them, and they mattered to him too, more than he was willing to admit. he wanted this to last, if it wasn't too much to ask, of course.

So, he decided to put on some extra effort tonight while getting ready to hang out with Chance and their friends. Itrapped knew more than anyone that appearance was important when it comes to business—and futile people, right now he was dealing with the latter. He styled his hair, that turned his golden locks into beautiful waves, as if they were kissed by the sun itself. Even though he wasn't used to it, he also applied some light makeup and, of course, as it was a special request, put on the clothes Chance had bought especially for him, saying he would look gorgeous in them. And he really did, but that was no effort at all for Itrapped, who looked like he jumped out of a painting, Chance's words, not his.

Itrapped couldn't stop looking at himself in the mirror, a silly attempt of his to make time pass faster. He adjusted a few strands of hair here, touched up his makeup there, put on his coat for the fifth time? Probably, he wasn't counting. He didn't know where this sudden fear came from, but he was trying to avoid it as much as possible; it wouldn't be today, nor now, that his mind would play these tricks he was used to. Itrapped was growing anxious due to the lack of news from Chance until now, well, if they didn't wanted Itrapped to come anymore they would've said before, right? yeah, that was right. Itrapped was trying to convince himself Chance wasn't capable of doing something as cruel as leaving him waiting, they were too nice to him… that could only be possible if they had finally realized how awful it was to have Itrapped around while all his other friends were so much better and he just kept leeching on him. Now, it was Itrapped who was being far too cruel to himself.

Itrapped knew he was being ridiculous. People are busy, people forget their phones, people don't revolve around him. But the self reassurance slid right off and his stomach churned at the thought of showing up somewhere he was no longer wanted, or being tolerated out of pity rather than genuinely being someone nice to be around. Obviously, during his time around Chance, they never gave him a single reason to believe in such things. Chance was the sweetest person ever, and Itrapped couldn't help but feel bad for them for being such a burden, he didn't actually verbalized any of these thoughts, but Chance was so good at reading him they would stop their whole day, just in case Itrapped needed someone around. He decided then, he would no longer give attention to anything his mind tried to tell him, erasing this mental fog that made him so lost.

And as if god heard his laments, Itrapped's phone start buzzing, he looks around to see where the sound is coming from and recognizes the familiar name calling him immediately. Itrapped's thumb hovered over the screen for half a second too long before he answered, forcing his voice into something more gentle:

"Yes?"

"Hey—" Chance's voice came out a little breathless, like they'd jogged up a flight of stairs just to make the call. "I'm outside. In front of your house, I mean. Are you ready, or do you need a few more minutes? I can wait as much as you need me to."

"Oh." Itrapped glanced back at the mirror, gripping the hem of the coat he had very much just adjusted again, if he held with a little more strenght he'd end up ripping it. "Yeah. I'm ready. You didn't have to rush, though." He said, lying. He could've been honest and say "I thought you didn't want to go anymore", or "I was scared you'd turn the invite down because you had something better to do", these were, of course, some excuses Itrapped used with people when he didn't want to be around them anymore, when he felt like he was too much of a liability and he couldn't do anything except to hide from their eyes. But Chance never truly made him feel this way, he could recognize when he was just coming up with excuses to fall into this familiar misery once again.

Well, he wasn't going to say any of that anyway; he didn't want to risk showing any kind of weakness that could compromise him and, consequently, disgust Chance. His desperation was disgusting.

"I didn't rush," Chance corrected Itrapped quickly, then corrected themself, laughing awkwardly, "maybe a little. But only because I wanted to get here already. No pressure though! Take your time. Or don't. I mean—do whatever."

Itrapped came back to his senses after he heard Chance's warm laugh, he was a fool for thinking so lowly of him while being treated with such kindness.

Itrapped huffed quietly, already reaching for the door. "You're outside my house and telling me to take my time?"

"I'm just saying," Chance replied, their voice was lower this time, "I'm here, you don't have to rush because of me."

Itrapped huffed, "I'm coming."

He hung up before Chance could add anything else.

Outside, the late air felt cooler than he expected. Chance's car was parked just across the street, the headlights glowing softly. Chance was leaning against the passenger's door, as if waiting for Itrapped to come. Their phone still in hand, tapping their heels on the ground incessantly, completely excited to see Itrapped. Until they looked up and straightened their posture almost immediately

"Wow."

Itrapped slowed, already suspicious of Chance's next words. "What?"

Chance opened their mouth, closed it, then tried again. "You look—"

"Don't," Itrapped warned, heat creeping up his neck.

"—you're beautiful," Chance finished anyway, voice softer now. "Gorgeous, even."

Itrapped stopped a few steps away, turning his head sharply to the side. "You're being ridiculous." He said, voice already annoyed.

Chance didn't seem to hear him. They took a small step closer, eyes tracing Itrapped's face, like they were afraid he could disappear at any moment. "Jesus Christ," they murmured, almost to themself. "You're truly beautiful." Chance impulsively grabbed Itrapped's face with their hands, their touch uncertain as they were afraid of somehow upsetting Itrapped. Itrapped said nothing, instead, he steeped closer and allowed himself to be held gently for a moment.

"T-That's enough," Itrapped muttered, cheeks burning as he tried his best to free himself from Chance's embrace, hissing at him. "You are now uttering nonsense." Chance laughed, quiet and warm, completely unapologetic. "I'm just stating facts."

"Well, state them less," Itrapped said, crossing his arms. "It's embarrassing."

"That's kinda cute, though."

"I said stop."

Chance grinned, finally letting go off Itrapped, who just got as irritated as before. "Alright, alright. I'll behave." they said, still smiling far too much. They gave a step ahead and reached the passenger side, opening the door for Itrapped. "M'lady."

"Oh, shut up," Itrapped said, slipping comfortably into his seat, his movements were a little awkward, and his cheeks were still burning red after Chance's flattering comments.

Chance closed the door gently, they were still smiling from ear to ear and Itrapped tried his best not to look at them, he knew Chance would tease him even more for not being discreet at all. Itrapped stared stubbornly out the window, pretending to be nonchalant, but the corner of his mouth slightly curling upward betrayed him.

The car ride was quieter than Itrapped expected, the only sound was the low hum of the engine. Chance drove with one hand on the wheel, the other tapping lightly to whatever song they were listening on the radio. Every so often, they'd glance sideways at Itrapped, very quickly, just to check if he was enjoying the ride, or to just look at him. There was no reason for Chance to lie. Itrapped noticed and pretended not to.

"You're thinking too loud," Chance said suddenly.

Itrapped scoffed. "You can't hear thoughts."

"I can hear yours," Chance replied, correcting Itrapped. "They're very judgmental."

"Then stop giving me reasons to judge you."

Chance didn't say anything else, they realized it was better not to for now. Itrapped has been acting weird since they came to pick him up so maybe it'd be better not to force him so much. Another stretch of road passed. Chance's fingers drummed against the steering wheel, but that didn't help them relax. "You okay?" they asked, voice soft.

"I'm fine," Itrapped answered automatically. He realized how robotic that sounded and after a pause he added, quieter, "Just don't do anything stupid tonight."

Chance glanced at him, smiling. "Define stupid."

"Showing off," Itrapped said flatly. "Or treating me like some kind of—" He cut himself off, scowling at the window.

"Like someone I want people to see me with?" Chance said jokingly.

Itrapped turned his head, embarrassed of Chance's flirtatious remarks. "You're doing it again."

Chance laughed, low and fond. "Sorry. I'll behave. Promise."

The casino appeared soon after, all glass and gold lights, gaudy in the way only obscene amounts of money could afford. It was bright and loud even from the outside, the familiar scent of exquisite perfume and alcohol was already filling Itrapped's nostrils. Chance pulled into the lot and parked near the entrance, killing the engine. Before Itrapped could even reach for his seatbelt, Chance was already unbuckling his and their own.

"Wait here," they said, casual but firm.

Itrapped narrowed his eyes immediately. "Why?"

Chance didn't answer and suspicion prickled under Itrapped's skin. He leaned toward the window as Chance walked around the front of the car, heels clicking against the pavement. A moment later, the passenger door opened:

Chance bowed, one hand extended, shamelessly grinning. "May I?"

Itrapped stared at them like they'd lost their mind. "What's wrong with you."

"Nothing's wrong."

"You never do this," Itrapped said, squinting in his seat. "Did something happen? Did I do something? Did someone say something to you—"

Chance sighed fondly. "Can't I be nice to you anymore? You're too stubborn."

Itrapped puffed his cheeks, clearly offended, then hesitated before grabbing Chance's hand. "I— don't call me that," he muttered, finally stepping out of the car. "And stop acting weird."

Chance's smile softened as they leaned forward to hold Itrapped closer, just a little. "See? Gentleman behavior. Completely wasted on you."

Itrapped shot them a glare, but he didn't pull away when Chance lingered closer than he expected. He just adjusted his coat and walked toward the glowing entrance—one step ahead of Chance, pretending his heart wasn't racing.

As they stepped inside, the casino swallowed them whole. The sudden change of atmosphere was already enough to make Itrapped's nerves tense, he straightened his posture and fixed his face to a more prideful one almost instantly. The light was almost blinding, it spread across polished floors and mirrored walls, the reflection of crystal and gold that decorated the ambient catching on everything that moved. The air was thick with perfume, smoke, and money—an expensive, suffocating smell that Itrapped grew familiar with already. Alongside the music, loud screams could be heard, if they were from joy or anger, well, he couldn't tell. Everything is exactly like he's used to, except for this anxious feeling that shouldn't be there.

Doing what he does best, Itrapped took a long breath as he tried to get rid of these thoughts and recompose himself, he's been there many times so there was nothing to worry about. Chance looked at him, as if they were asking if everything was fine and Itrapped only nodded shyly before stepping a little closer to them, Chance smiled and gave a light squeeze on Itrapped's waist.

They hadn't taken more than a few steps past the entrance when it already started:

"Chance—oh my god, it's been forever!"

"Chance, you made it!"

"My god, Chance… I didn't know you'd be here tonight."

And many others.

This was something that was bound to happen, and Itrapped couldn't say he wasn't used to because of course he was, this was Chance's world and he was just a intruder, after all. People would talk to Chance and they would talk to them back, these are their friends—very shitty ones, Itrapped said to himself. Whenever a familiar voice called for them, Chance would stop and try to find where the sound was coming from, for a moment, they let go Itrapped's hands and started setting their own pace. Itrapped looked at them, face in pure shock, but he said nothing, he just nodded his head. Itrapped stood slightly behind them, his posture was really awkward and his jaw was tight. Itrapped could hear the smile Chance had on their face whenever they talked, and laughed with others, it sounded so bittersweet to Itrapped, were they having a better time with others instead of him? The conversations they had were awful as well. At least to Itrapped. People talked about their fortune, their achievements, everything. Nothing slightly interesting, only money, and Itrapped heard about it a lot already, don't they ever grow tired of it? Some topics, though, were completely obscene, a woman dripping in diamonds was touching Chance's arms as she almost threw herself over them, Itrapped watching the scene with nothing but disgust in his face, good thing he seemed invisible to others and to Chance as well, he didn't mind being treated as a nobody—he really was one, after all. Still, every laugh from Chance that wasn't meant for him felt like a subtle rejection. And this was a whole new level of humiliation.

Itrapped only stayed quiet, in the place he belongs to, which was none. He folded his hands into the pocket of his coat, tapping the floor repeatedly with his heels, while he pretended to study the decoration of the casino while something else happened in front of him. He realized he wasn't that good at pretending after all. He's never prepared himself for this. The conversations were getting longer and Chance's attention never seemed to go back to him. Itrapped felt it then—something ugly and tight curling in his chest, it wasn't that sadness he was used to, the one that came from loneliness. It was something he never felt before, because he didn't get the chance to. Jealousy. He hated the word the moment it appeared in his mind. It made him feel small and childish. Chance wasn't his and had never said they were. Had never promised him anything beyond tonight, beyond this stupid, glittering building. Who was he to feel threatened every time someone laughed at Chance's jokes, every time they leaned close, every time Chance smiled for someone that wasn't him? Was he even allowed to feel that? He didn't want to sound needy and have to beg for attention he had no reason to. So he stood there in silence, eyes following Chance with an intensity that bordered on desperation, pretending he wasn't counting the seconds for this to stop.

And Itrapped felt like this for most of the night. Even when him and Chance had some time alone, someone would appear just to ruin it—whether it was some acquaintance of theirs, some drunkard screaming at them, Itrapped really felt like he wasn't there, both physically and mentally. He was tired. He wanted to go home. He wanted to disappear. He's never felt more humiliated in his life, and for someone he cared deeply, someone he was willing to let go of his bad habits. That was when Chance's voice interrupted Itrapped's thoughts.

"We're getting out of here."

Chance said firmly, but their voice was still carrying that sweet tone Itrapped was used to hear. He looked at Chance and gave them a blank stare. He looked at the people around him and let out a sigh he didn't even know he was holding for so long. Itrapped looked at Chance once again and gave them a look of "Are you sure?", Chance only nodded and smiled at Itrapped, they didn't have to hear his voice to know what they wanted to say. They Itrapped by the hand and held it tight, Itrapped looked at him confused, he clearly wasn't expecting this. Chance quickened their pace as they searched for somewhere, anywhere, where they wouldn't be disturbed by people they definitely didn't want to see at the moment. Itrapped just followed Chance without questioning, very puzzled and worried that he would hear something bad, that finally Chance realized he was an unpleasant company or something between the lines. After they both walked in a very awkward silence, Chance arrived at a private room in the casino and led Itrapped to sit on the edge of the bed.

Itrapped blinked once, twice, none of them said something first, until he decided to open his mouth.

"Why did you bring me here?" He asks anxiously.

"I wanted to talk," Chance answers quickly, quickly locking the door. "Privately, I mean."

Itrapped nodded quietly. He started playing with the fabric of his coat, as an attempt to get rid of the built up anxiety. He took a deep breath and spoke again.

"I'm sorry."

They both spoke at the same time. Itrapped didn't dare to look at Chance yet.

Chance turned towards Itrapped, brows knitting together. "What?" They gave a small, confused laugh that died halfway. "Why are you apologizing?"

Itrapped preferred not to answer. He kept his eyes fixed on the carpet, suddenly the pattern printed on the fabric was the most interesting thing in the world. His shoulders were stiff and he didn't dare to face Chance, his emotions were too much right now. If he looked up, he was sure something humiliating would come out of his mouth and that would make things awkward for them both.

Chance stepped closer. "Hey," they said, softer now. "Look at me."

Nothing.

"Itrapped." A pause. "You didn't do anything wrong. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me." Chance sighed, they sat right now to Itrapped and reached out for his face, fingers holding him by the chin as they smiled softly.

"I– I've been inconsiderate to you and you're clearly upset, rightfully so. And I'm sorry for everyone and me, it's just that—"

That you're always wanting too much from me? That you keep making me uncomfortable? Maybe he trusted Chance too much to think this wouldn't happen. There were many possibilities and Itrapped didn't know what to believe, definitely not his mind, but he's been so used to rejection it almost sounded certain who was being the problem here.

"Look at me, please?" Chance asked one more time, they wouldn't insist anymore if Itrapped didn't want to, but it didn't felt genuine to say these things if he wasn't looking at them, otherwise they'd be just words.

Itrapped did as he's been told, his breath was hitched and he clearly looked at the verge of crying, Chance never saw Itrapped like this before, and they felt awful for being the reason behind.

"You shouldn't be apologizing just because I felt left out," Itrapped said. He finally looked up, just enough to meet Chance's chin but not their eyes. "You don't owe me your company."

"That's not what I'm saying, though? Itrapped, you're my best friend, you– you're the most important thing in my life! Your comfort will always be my number one priority. I acted stupid with you. You can hit me if you want." Chance jokingly said, trying to lighten up the mood as it was visible Itrapped was still very sad. Chance lifted their bangs so that Itrapped could see their forehead. Itrapped, however, just stared at them, very confused.

"No, I– I won't hit you or anything, what are you even talking about," Itrapped muttered under his breath, trying to keep his voice low even if it sounds like he's hissing his words out. "Look, I…" he looks at Chance one more time, trying to gather his thoughts. "I'm sorry for saying all these things to you. My problems aren't yours to deal with and… I don't like feeling vulnerable in front of you."

"I don't want you to think I'm weak."

Chance leans forward and engulfs Itrapped in a hug before he can even react, Itrapped nearly falls in the bed as he braces to take the weight of their warm embrace. Chance mutters something that could sound like a "You're so silly" and a "You're not weak". This one sounds more like a confession from them.

"S-Sorry," Chance mutters, noticing the sudden shift of position and how they're on top of Itrapped.

"Now you should stop apologizing to me, yes?" Itrapped laughs, the warmth of the hug imprinted into his skin. "I needed you. I mean, I needed to feel that, thank you for reassuring me."

"Anytime! And stop calling your feelings a weakness," Chance smiles, charming. They're still holding Itrapped close. Chance didn't know what to do with their hands, or if they should anything at all, so instead they just petted Itrapped's head, who leaned into their touch. "But I mean it Itrapped. You're my best friend, I lo-" Chance cleans their throat before correcting themself, their carrying now a flushed shade of pink. "I like you, I like being friends with you n' everything."

Itrapped pretends not to notice Chance's change of words, and he also pretends not to notice how his heartbeat increased insanely faster. He shouldn't overanalyze things too much.

"Me too." Itrapped hugs Chance tighter.

This doesn't have to be a big thing, after all. Itrapped isn't going to ruin his friendship with Chance something as little as a possible crush. Does that count as a crush?

But Itrapped still let himself sink into the warmth of Chance's body without thinking too hard about it. Their hands moved through Itrapped's hair, fingers brushing through the golden locks without hesitation, Chance didn't feel ashamed nor asked for permission to do so because it has already been granted the moment they both laid together. That Chance only realized now—hearing Itrapped's heartbeat against theirs, that's an awkward position they put themselves in, isn't it? They tried not to make such a big deal, that's completely fair and normal.

Anyways…

"Hey, uh," Chance murmurs, shifting their position so they can look at Itrapped properly. They almost got scared when they realized he had been staring for the whole time. "You wanna go home or—"

"Yes please," Itrapped answers immediately, the word escaping his mouth before Chance could even finish his sentence

Chance blinks, then laughs. "That was quick, damn."

Itrapped stiffens just a little, clearing his throat, composure hurriedly stitched back together. "I–I mean. If you wish to go, of course. I wouldn't mind either way."

Chance hummed, squeezing Itrapped back to their arms without hesitation. "Nah. I'll do whatever you want."

There was a brief pause, just long enough for Itrapped to gather his thoughts together. He rested his forehead against Chance's shoulder again, voice gentler now, almost shy. "Then… let's go please. Sorry about that," Itrapped said, still resenting.

"Stop apologizing, you big baby," Chance laughs, hugging Itrapped once more before letting go of him, the happiness in their face was evident and almost overwhelming. Itrapped didn't mind a single bit—to his own surprise.

Itrapped whines softly and turns his head away, cheeks warming despite himself. "D-Do not call me that," he mutters, although his protest lacks any real sharpness. He even pouts, just a little, as if he can't quite stop his face from betraying him.

Chance freezes for half a second—and then completely melts. "God," they breathe, smiling way too wide, "you're so cute."

Itrapped does not respond. He refuses to. Instead, he focuses on fixing his clothes, smoothing the imaginary wrinkles from his sleeves and adjusting his collar with unnecessary precision. Without looking back, he reaches for the door and unlocks it, the soft click echoing in the quiet room.

"Oh, we're in a hurry then," Chance laughs softly, hands instinctively reaching to hold Itrapped's hands.

Chance insists on taking the lead, fingers lacing with Itrapped's before he can properly react. Chance walks a little faster than him, probably to make the walk a little more comfortable and natural to Itrapped, they didn't dare to do anything that could make Itrapped feel he failed them even in the slightest. Itrapped follows without complaint, steps measured and peaceful in contrast of Chance, letting himself be guided. He doesn’t pull away not even for a second, he adjusts his grip and holds their arm tight, Chance smiles to Itrapped when they eventually end up noticing and Itrapped smiles back, a shy smile obviously. He seems content to let Chance set the direction, as long as they remain close to him.

The casino floor greets them with with noise and the heat of everyone's nerves and the familiar strong scent of alcohol, making Itrapped's stomach twist easily. Chance navigates it with ease, it's their place after all. He grabs Itrapped and use their body as a shield to protect him from all these people, dodging drunks, friends, and miserable people who just came to try their luck. Someone calls their name, Another bumps their shoulder, muttering some bitter about having lost everything. Chance doesn't seem to care at all.

"Hey, you're leaving already?" one of their friend asks, eyebrow raised. "Come on dude, stay a bit longer."

Another grins, cards already in hand. "One more round. You owe us that much."

Chance smiles politely but firm, tightening their arm around Itrapped's shoulders. "I'll pass," they say, signalizing a no with their hands. "I've got to take care of someone here."

Itrapped freezes. His face burns instantly, heat rushing up his neck as if the words have physically touched him. He ducks his head and presses it into Chance's chest, one hand clutching their suit, trying very hard to disappear.

Chance laughs softly, amused by his reaction, and lay their head just enough to look down at him. "Hey," they murmur, teasing warmth in their voice, "what's that for? Why are you hiding?" Itrapped doesn't answer, only buries himself even more like a cat asking subtly to cuddle. Chance kisses the top of Itrapped's head and pets it gently.

"If you don't want people lookin'," Chance continues, gentle now, "at least let me, yeah?"

Their arm tightens protectively around him as they keep walking, leaving the noise—and everyone else—behind.

"You seriously need to stop saying these things to me."

Returning to the parking lot, Itrapped let go of Chance's arms and starts walking on his own, quickening his pace and running to the car, they take a minute to admire his figure and how his hair seems to dance in the wind, it's like one of those scenes you see in romance movies that makes you think this wouldn't happen in real life and can only fantasize about, but it's happening in front of Chance's eyes.

Running to match his pace, Chance circles around the car and opens the passenger door with a little enthusiasm, instantly suggesting Itrapped get in. Itrapped nods and settles himself into the seat, careful and precise as ever, smoothing his coat before finally relaxing his nerves again. Chance slides into the driver's seat right after closing the door for him, tilting their head against the headrest and letting out a long, dramatic sigh. For a moment there's only the sound of the night around them. Itrapped is too busy fixing his lipstick to notice Chance staring deeply at him, when Itrapped turns around, Chance quickly turns their face the other way. It was in vain, and Itrapped only sighed and nodded to himself.

After a few seconds passing, Chance turns around again and stares. Again. They study Itrapped's face again while trying to build the confidence to speak to him again. "So… we're going to my house now?"

Itrapped looks at them, genuinely baffled. His brows knit together, confusion plain on his face, as if the question itself sounded more stupid than it looked. "Your house?" he repeats softly. "Why would we?"

Of course it would be his own house. Why would they go anywhere else? He doesn't say it out loud, but the thought lingers plainly in his expression.

"Oh. Right." Chance blinks, then laughs a little under their breath. "I don't know, I just thought–" They pause, gears visibly turning in their brain before giving up in making an excuse to justify what they just said. "Yeah. Your house. Let's go."

Itrapped hesitates, then nods once, polite and composed again. "Very well," he says gently, eyes turning forward.

The engine comes to life and the car starts moving right after, a low, steady hum coming from it. For a few seconds, neither of them say anything. The streetlights slide across the windshield, light and shadow taking turns passing over both Itrapped and Chance's faces.

Chance keeps one hand on the wheel, while the other rests awkwardly against their thigh. While they're still paying attention to the road, they couldn't help but notice the evident tension filling Itrapped's body—well, with the way his posture was as rigid as concrete, it wasn't like he was trying to hide anything, was he? Chance chuckled and brought their eyes to the road once again, not wanting to disturb Itrapped anymore. If he wants silence, they won't say a thing. Itrapped, despite himself, sits perfectly still, his posture composed and his eyes are fixed on the road. He's acting like he always does when he has to pretend everything is fine, it's part of his act. Yet his mind doesn't seem to be fully cooperating with him (neither is his body, but shh). He is painfully aware of Chance right now—of course, they're in the same car. But why does his mind seems impossible to calm down even when all he wants is a moment of silence? He's not doing anything he's not already used to. Could it be because of that emotional catastrophe he had earlier? That sounds like a most valid reason. Could it be because Chance made Itrapped even more aware of his intentions towards them, and that, inevitably, he'll have to make Chance aware as well? Well, now is not the time to think about that. Not at all.

Chance sneaks a glance at him at a red light. Itrapped's jaw is rigid, and his fingers are holding his thighs with too much pressure, it'll probably end up leaving marks later. "You okay?" they asked.

"Yes," Itrapped answers immediately, composing himself. A moment later, he adds, "I am merely thinking."

Chance's expression instantly turned into a more serious one. Maybe they could shoot their shot now. "May I know your thoughts?" they tilted their head to the side, eyes holding a sweetly affection for Itrapped, who seemed unfazed by the scene.

Itrapped shook his head while smiling, and he considered his next words. "You may not."

Chance's eyes widened, they had the same expression of an abandoned puppy waiting to be kicked again, they wanted to say something but no words would come out of their mouth.

After suffering such a humiliating rejection, there was no way Chance could recover from that. So, they simply accepted their defeat silently and nodded their head in agreement. Itrapped noticed and couldn't help but chuckle softly, quickly recomposing himself right after.

"Pay attention," Itrapped scolds Chance as they lights instantly turn green.

"Yes ma'am."

Chance immediately does as they were told. Now that things seems to have calmed down, they feel more relaxed, they even managed to get a laugh out of Itrapped! That was probably the highlight of their night. The atmosphere feels much better and they no longer feel scared of having hurt Itrapped. Their fingers are tapping lightly against the steering wheel as they hum a song playing on the radio, Chance looks at Itrapped through the rear view just to make sure his face is still calm, but Itrapped is too busy focusing on the song to notice, Chance only smiles. Chance would very much like to tell Itrapped how grateful they are and how much they love him—how much they love being with him. But that would be strange, wouldn't it? They were overly affectionate today, perhaps it's time to calm down.

The car seems to be getting hotter again and Itrapped decides to roll down the window to let some fresh air enter, the night breeze is serene and it hits his face very softly, as if it was caressing his face. Itrapped sticks his head out the window and lets the wind blow on his face, he can't help but laugh at the feeling. It is such a good one, although he can't recall feeling it frequently before. He never let him. But it's still very good.

Chance glances over, watching Itrapped with an almost childish curiosity. "You havin' fun?" they ask.

Itrapped pulls his head back in just enough to answer, voice raised over the sound of the wind, louder than he usually ever speaks around Chance. "Yes," he says, smiling without any restraint. "Very much so. I am having a lot of fun."

Chance grins. "We can do that whenever you want, y'know."

Itrapped's smile softens, something warm settling behind his neck. He nods, composed again, but no less sincere than before. "I would love that," he replies gently, nodding his head in agreement. Itrapped then realizes the warmth he felt wasn't coming from the car, but from something—someone else instead.

The race back home ends faster than both Itrapped and Chance expected. They both stare at each other before saying anything, the silence in that moment seems louder than anything else.

Chance breaks it first. "We're here." They smile awkwardly.

Itrapped straightens his posture slightly. "Ah, yes… we are." He pauses, then adds, more formally, "Thank you. For the ride."

Chance replies, shaking their head. "It's nothing."

The awkward silence returns, although this time there wasn't nothing else left to say.

Itrapped's hand closes around the door handle, then pauses. He turns back instead. "Chance," he says gently.

Chance freezes, body going rigid as they turn their head to follow the voice calling them. A little more clumsy than expected. "Y–Yeah?"

"Would you not like to stay for a while?" Itrapped asks. He clears his throat immediately after, eyes flicking away. "That is—if you do not have anything more important to attend to after leaving, of course."

"No!" Chance blurts out far too quickly and too loud. They wince at themself. "I mean– No, not at all. I don't have anything. And even if I did, I'd stop it if you asked me to and" They cut themself off, swallowing. "Yeah. I can stay. Yes."

Itrapped lets out a soft, genuine laugh, the tension easing from his shoulders. "Perfect," he says simply. "Then let's get going."

Itrapped leaves the car and waits for Chance to do so, he already took the key of his house off his purse and is already unlocking the door, a subtle act of eagerness from his part. He sees Chance is taking longer than he expected and walks towards them, grabbing them by the hand. "You didn't have to do that." Chance states, their cheeks flushed from embarrassment. "I wanted to." Itrapped smiles at them. They both walk a few steps until they finally arrive.

"We're here," Itrapped says, already taking off his coat and shoes, throwing them somewhere in the room. "I-It's probably not very impressive, considering the things you're used to…" he adds, the derogatory comments comes almost naturally, it's an instinct of his.

"I think it's very beautiful. It's your place after all," Chance smiles warmly, probably not aware of the implication they just made, even if it was unintentional.

Itrapped clearly notices and panics for a second or two, before coming back to his senses and leaving a soft laugh escape, he nods his head in agreement and mutters, "I guess you're right," he closes the door behind them and signals with his hands for Chance to keep moving forward, Chance understands and does as they were told, or instructed to. Either way, they're doing exactly like Itrapped wanted.

Chance makes themself more than comfortable around Itrapped's place, already sitting in the couch and putting their fedora to the side. Itrapped seems a little distraught and Chances notices it instantly.

"C'mere, baby," Chance lazily calls for Itrapped, patting the seat beside them.

Itrapped hesitates for a brief moment before obeying, crossing the room and sitting where he's indicated. He keeps his posture proper and hands folded, gaze lowered. Chance turns toward him, concern softening their usual grin.

"Are you okay?"

"I am," Itrapped answers quietly. "Better than before, at least." After a beat, he adds, "I apologize. Again."

Chance groans. "Hey. Stop that. You're gonna make me feel bad for making you sad."

"That is not–" Itrapped shakes his head faintly. "That is not the reason." His voice lowers, careful, measured. "I merely… have difficulty with the idea of being left behind. It is an old concern."

Chance doesn't interrupt for now. They just listen, thumb slowly tracing soothing patterns through his hair. The touch is gentle and patient. Without realizing, Itrapped leans in, his head coming to rest against Chance's shoulder, tension easing from his spine as if his body has decided for him that this is allowed.

"You know, I had this friend, and he was very dear to me. I've always my concerns with how the others would see me, so I've always avoided their gaze." Itrapped paused, before thinking of his next words carefully. "Actually, I always avoided everyone. I didn't want to be a burden to people for being too off-putting. But this friend really helped me a lot in regard of that. It might sound cliché, but he truly saved my life at a certain point."

Chance shouldn't, but they couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy in their heart. It's childish and they're well aware of that, but the thought of someone else being Itrapped's best friend… and he's talking in the past, did that guy do something bad to him? Is that why he's hurt? God, Chance felt agitated just from thinking about someone disappointing Itrapped, but they shouldn't jump into conclusions.

"Ellernate brought me so much comfort for so long, until..." Itrapped stopped, as if the words refused to leave his mouth. "One day they took him from me, and it felt like my world ended. That I lost everything I had built—along with him. I tried to find a solution, but it seemed impossible. Sometimes I wonder if things would have been different if I could have done something helpful. For him and for everyone."

Ellernate? Now that's a name Chance never heard before. They have an indecipherable look in their face. And Itrapped looks as puzzled as them.

Chance, after thinking really hard, asks bluntly. "Did you like him?"

Surprised—shocked even, Itrapped lifts his head from Chance's shoulders and straightens his posture, with an expression that makes Chance slightly worried. The question caught him by complete surprise. "No! Not at all, not like that. My goodness…"

Now this is awkward.

Chance can't quite say what motivated them to ask that question. Maybe it was the desperation of the moment—they often don't know how to act rationally. Besides, they never even considered liking boys before meeting Itrapped. Sure, they'd had little crushes, but it was never something they paid full attention to. They probably never even considered liking anyone in their whole life, to be honest. But based on Itrapped's reaction, maybe he didn't like the question? Maybe he's not like Chance, or whatever Chance thinks they are. Itrapped seems almost offended, and Chance's heart can't help but ache a little.

"Was that not a good thing to ask?"

"Oh." Itrapped brings his fingers to his lips, thoughtful, then gently shakes his head. "That would not be the case," he says, calmer now. "I believe I may have overreacted. We were friends only."

He hesitates, then adds, carefully, "That said… it would not be a problem if I were interested in boys." His gaze shifts back to Chance, steady but soft. "Would it be a problem to you?"

"NO!" Chance answers, well, screams instantly, far too fast to be rehearsed. "Absolutely not! Not even a little. Like—really, no." They wave a hand, almost flustered. "That wouldn't bother me at all."

Itrapped studies them for a moment, then relaxes again, the tension easing from his shoulders. A faint, polite smile returns to his lips, and the space between them feels small once again.

"I figured," Itrapped whispers back at them. "Care for a drink, Chance?"

Chance barely has time to register what exactly Itrapped figured before he is already moving away. They blink once, twice, then nod, a little dazed. "Ah, yes! Of course."

Itrapped returns quickly with two glasses of liquor in hands and settles back onto the couch with measured ease, crossing his legs neatly. Chance takes their glass, fingers lingering on the rim, their expression isn't the best right now.

The two share this moment with joy, Itrapped feels strangely comfortable with the presence of another person in his house, he almost doesn't care. Chance feels warm inside, and the reason is definitely not the alcohol—he knows very well the difference. After moments of conversation and enjoying each other's company, Chance places his glass on the table beside him and takes a deep breath, searching for a courage that is still hidden within them. They looks at Itrapped for a few seconds before deciding to open their mouth again.

"I hope I don't sound insensitive," Chance starts, their voice is husky and very careful with their words, “but… were you scared I'd leave you? Back at the casino, I mean.”

"Very," Itrapped answers without hesitation.

Chance looks at him, surprised by how quickly the truth comes out.

"I am… not particularly skilled at being around people, but I think I'm good at pretending," Itrapped laughs awkwardly, and continues quietly. "When your attention drifted away from me, I assumed the worst. That you had finally realized I was unappealing. Or inconvenient."

"But–"

"And I know you never gave me reasons to think like that. But… I'm so drawn to you I can't help but think I'm going to lose you eventually, I've never been used to good things lasting in my life."

The words hang there, heavy and exposed. That's when Itrapped seems to realize just how much he has said. He straightens, visibly collecting himself.

"I apologize," he says quickly, formally. "I should not have used you as a means to voice my feelings. That was improper of me."

Chance frowns they eyebrows, shaking their head. "Hey—no. Don't do that," they say gently. "You don't need to apologize. At all. That's… more than okay."

They hesitate, then ask carefully, "Did you feel like this too when… when you lost your friend? Ellernate?"

Itrapped's breath refuses to come out for a moment. He nods, unsure of what Chance might say after.

"Yes," he answers, voice shaking. "Very much so."

He looks away, scared to face Chance properly. Afraid they might disappear once he lays his eyes on them.

"I'm sorry," Chance says immediately, their words are painfully sincere.

They take a sip of their drink, then, as if unable to help themself, Chance asks again, softer this time, "We're friends, right?"

"Yes," Itrapped replies.

"Good."

Chance exhales, then, decides to push Itrapped's buttons a little more, heart beating faster. "Do you perhaps… do you see me as more than a friend?"

Itrapped tilts his head. "Like a best friend?"

There's a pause.

Chance laughs weakly, shaking their head. "…Forget it."

The words seem to disappear around the room, but they're still echoing very loudly inside Chance's brain.

The silence hanging around them is very loud, and Chance is almost—if not completely—certain it's intentional. They don't know what to do or say, any next action could ruin everything, both for him and for Itrapped, who seems totally clueless about what they just said. Or maybe he knows and avoided saying anything as an attempt to prevent Chance from getting hurt? Well, either way, they prefer not to waste any more of his time.

Chance finishes drinking the rest of the alcohol in their glass and stand up, straightening their clothes and hat.

"I should get going now," Chance says, trying to locate the exit, clearly in a hurry. "Thank you for having me at your place, Itrapped.

Itrapped blinks, clearly confused. "Leaving already? May I ask why?"

Ask why? I should be the one asking why—no, better, I should be the one asking what kind of pleasure do you take from torturing my heart coldly so. If that is some kind of game you're playing, I did not consent in being part of it. You are so, so cruel to me, Itrapped. See? I'm even talking like you! So stop it, please. Chance says, in their mind obviously, they would never say such thing in front of Itrapped, never in their life. That would scare him much more. So, instead of sounding like a fool, Chance just smiles softly and takes Itrapped's face in their hands, caressing it softly. Itrapped stares at them confused, but he is not against the sudden physical display of affection

“I think I have taken up far too much of your time," Chance replies, their voice sounding bitter than usual.

"That is not the case," Itrapped says at once. After a brief pause, he adds, "No time is taken away from me if we are spending it together. It's yours too." His words are too raw, almost like a love confession for Chance.

"Still, I can guide you to the exit, if you would not mind."

"Of course not," Chance answers quickly.

Way too quickly, honestly. If they could, they would've said Then let me stay! I want to be with you, I, most ardently, ache for your company. Please, Itrapped, don't let me make a fool of myself once again! but that sounds weird and Chance needs to get rid of this voice that sounds more like Itrapped than them. Well, there is nothing left to be done, so they just enjoy the last few seconds they have together (how dramatic that sounds) before Chance vanishes from his eyes—for a few days at least. Itrapped walks them out, the wind hitting their faces very softly, Itrapped's skin starts to get a little flushed due to the cold and Chance can't help but smile. Just like a fool. Before getting into the car, Chance looks at Itrapped again, they hesitate, as if the thing right in front of them would lead to their inevitable death—well, it probably will someday—and then, as an act of courage, they finally lean in, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of Itrapped's head.

"Thank you," they say again, softer this time.

Itrapped shakes his head politely. "It was nothing."

Itrapped watches Chance from the sidewalk in front of his house as they get into the car, eagerly starting the engine, maybe their mind would be at ease once they left? Not in a bad way, they just needed some time to think if Itrapped was really oblivious or if he just didn't like them at all. Regardless of which option it was, both sounded equally bad, and Chance can't help but internally agonize over the possibility of having been just company for Itrapped. Of course, that's not a bad thing—not at all, but they would very much like to have Itrapped confessing his feelings, like they often fantasize about. Well.

Moments before Chance finally leaves, Itrapped runs towards the car. He calls for their name and taps on the window of the car. Chance immediately lowers the window; the scene almost seems intimate. "Yeah?" Chance asks.

Itrapped leans closer, visibly shy, Hi voice barely above a whisper. “I do.”

Chance frowns slightly, confused.

Itrapped says it and immediately regrets, the silence that followed his words making him even more anxious. He doesn't know where he got such confidence from but he regrets it almost instantly. Before Chance's brain could even process what just happened and what Itrapped was talking about, he is already already walking away from the car, his posture is too awkward and he already knows he'll kill himself to moment he steps inside.

"Good night," he adds and then turns around, but his voice is almost impossible to hear.

He walks back towards his house in an uncharacteristic hurry, keys already in hand, posture stiff as if he can physically outrun the weight of what he has just confessed. He does not look back. He cannot. The door shuts behind him a second later, far louder than intended.

Chance is left frozen in the driver's seat, hand still resting on the edge of the open window.

"…I do?" they repeat to themself, frowning.

The engine hums uselessly beneath them as their brain finally catches up, replaying the moment in painful clarity. The tap on the window. The softness of Itrapped's voice. The way he wouldn't meet their eyes. The question from earlier—Do you see me as more than a friend?

"Oh my god," Chance breathes.

Their eyes widen. "Oh my god—are you serious?!"

They twist around in their seat to look back at the house, as if Itrapped might still be standing there, as if the front door might swing open again and explain everything for them. But the house remains dark and quiet.

Chance lets out a strangled laugh, half disbelief, half panic, running a hand through their hair. "You can't just say that and run away," they mutter, almost in disbelief of what just happened.

Inside the house, Itrapped leans against the closed door, heart hammering so violently it feels like it might give him away. He presses a hand to his chest, breath shallow, face burning.

That was incredibly improper, he thinks, scolding himself repeatedly.

And yet, despite trying to resist his own mind, Itrapped couldn't help but to stifle a faint smile.

Still parked in front of Itrapped's door—and with no apparent intention of leaving—Chance keeps laughing maniacally, good thing the street was deserted. Half of their shock is caused by the absurdity of the situation, and the other half by the fact that their feelings are reciprocated. Does Itrapped really see me as more than a friend? Does he really, really like me, in a way that isn't just platonic? They kept asking themself, trying to make their mind realize that yes, Itrapped sees them as something more than just a friend. What if he misunderstood the question? He asked if I meant as a best friend… maybe he thinks that's what I meant? No, this can't be. Chance tried to ignore their thoughts, clearly they made no sense, Itrapped is smart enough and they've been very clear, yes, there's no doubt.

Instinctively, Chance reaches for the handle of the car, they oh so desperately wants to talk to Itrapped again. They aren't really sure of what they can say to him, but they really need to. Would it be a confession? Maybe they could finally confess their undying love, how all this time they were being serious about all the flirting, it was cheesy but hey, they worked, no? Gosh, this was so frustrating, he really can't just say things like and disappear!

But… if Itrapped did that, maybe he doesn't want to talk right now. And that's completely understandable, it must've taken a lot of confidence from him, Chance should respect his decision and wait, then. If it was torturing from them, it was probably ten times worse for Itrapped. Maybe he will text them later, writing them a love letter and everything. Maybe he would give them a call? And then they'd talk, or maybe—if Itrapped is more traditional, he would invite them to come over? There were so many possibilities, all of them sounded equally great, but none of them made Chance calm down. Still, they'd wait for Itrapped no matter how long it'd take, they waited way longer before.

"…Okay," they whisper, as if talking to their own racing heart. "Okay. We wait" Yes, they should definitely wait. it's the best they can do right now. That's what Chance says trying to convince themself.

They run a hand through their hair, finally leaving Itrapped's house. "Get it together," Chance mutters. "Please."

Itrapped spied on Chance through the windows of his living room, hiding behind the curtains just in case. His heart aching like it never did before. He was a coward—a scaredy-cat. There were no better words to describe him. As soon as he realized Chance had finally left, he moved away from the window and took a deep breath, feeling tears threatening to spill down his face. In the safety of his own presence, Itrapped sinks onto the edge of the couch and drags his hands down his face.

"I truly hate myself," he leaves a long and dramatic sigh out, carrying his body to his bedroom. He wonder if he'll get any sleep at all since his mind refuses to rest.

This was far crueler than all the times Itrapped had ended up alone. At least, in that case, he was already used to the feeling of being left behind and nothing could surprise him anymore. However, after letting Chance make a companion him, making Itrapped feel vulnerable enough to share his feelings—his mind, he lost control of everything. Of his posture, his mind, his heart. How could he ever recover from this? Itrapped curled up in his bed like he once did when he was a little kid, trying to hide from the predatory eyes of his conscience, and this time, from himself.

The next day was unsurprisingly worse, Itrapped looked like a mess, his head felt heavy like he hasn't slept at all—and he really didn't. He tried to drink something strong as an attempt to get back to his senses and it felt like it was completely in vain since his headache only worsened. Maybe trying vodka in an empty stomach isn't the best thing to do in the morning.

He looked up for his phone and pretended to be unbothered by the lack of notifications of a certain someone, this shouldn't be surprising at all, right? Maybe Chance also needed some time to digest the information. That's most likely the case, and not because they regreted implying having feelings for Itrapped. Well, they didn't actually implied anything if the question was directed to Itrapped, maybe they just wanted to check if Itrapped knew they were only friends…? His mind could get really creative when it was time to make up baseless assumptions.

And that was Itrapped's routine for three straight days. He was completely miserable, but well, at least Chance didn't come after him. While that made him sad—even if unconsciously—he also felt relieved that he didn't have to deal with anything that had happened, his feelings were no longer something to be acknowledged. He was finally alone again, but that didn't comfort him for some reason.

Itrapped's thoughts were interrupted by a loud knocking on his front door. He walked to the door without thinking and, the moment he opened it, he slammed it shut immediately. That was the fastest his mind had reacted to anything. Maybe Itrapped should learn how to think before speaking.

"What the fuck?!" The agitating voice coming from the outside screams, loud and clear.

They demand for Itrapped to open the door while he pretends not to hear, maybe if he ignore them for a while, they'll end up giving up and leave? But that wasn't what happened since the tuds against his door became more aggressive. Itrapped is the one to give up instead.

"Stop knocking," Itrapped asks politely, opening the door again for them to enter.

"Good night for you t–"

Itrapped is interrupted mid-sentence by Chance entering his house without even looking back, that's how he knows it's going to be a very long and tiring night.

"We need to talk," Chance says, already sitting in the couch and waiting for Itrapped to do the same.

"I don't think we d-"

"We do."

"…Very well then."

"I just don't–" Chance pauses, and then thinks for a while before deciding their next words. "I don't understand what do you want from me. If you truly understood my words and if you meant yours, why did you just disappear? Listen, I know you have your own issues and I understand them, but I have mine too, y'know?"

"Chance…"

"I know you can't control your feelings and stuff but can't you be a little more considerate? I called you and I had no answer, why are you running away from your feelings? Why are you running away from me? You don't like me? Are you ashamed of liking me?"

Itrapped didn't reply right away, not because he didn't want to, but because he couldn't—the words simply refused to leave his mouth no matter how hard he tried to come up something. He never had to deal with someone being so brutally honest and desperate before. He looked at Chance and was swept by a wave of guilt. Chance could tell Itrapped was having a hard time but they didn't want to take back their words, Itrapped should learn how to deal with his feelings even if they were uncomfortable at first.

"I'm waiting for you answer," Chance says, harshly.

"I know, I…"

Hot angered blood surged through Chance's chest and their throat suddenly felt too dry. As they stared at Itrapped, their fingers twitched on top of their lap, they had this urge to move closer, to cup his face and kiss it, to gather their courage and finally say: I love you. So Chance stared, fighting their own thoughts, their desire to have Itrapped, to hold him, to kiss him, to tell him the sweetest things of the world instead of their ugly thoughts. Without realizing they had leaned in just a little closer. Itrapped stared, both afraid and confused at the same time, his mind couldn't assimilate what was happening. They couldn't control it anymore, this wasn't going to end great so, instead, Chance reached out for Itrapped's face and brought him closer to their lips, but still held a respectable distance to make them not touch, Itrapped froze and his eyes were slightly shaking.

"What?" asked Chance. "Afraid I was going to kiss you?"

"I– What are you doing?" said Itrapped, very much agitated with this whole situation, he couldn't even pretend to be calm. He wanted to look away but Chance's hands were cupping his face with a tight grip he couldn't break free from.

"Don't pull away," Chance ordered. Itrapped only nodded.

Chance's heart was racing with an abnormal speed, they were just hoping it wouldn't stop working now. Their eyes were dark as they fixed Itrapped with a long, intimidating stare. Finally, with their voice low and husky, they started, "Listen, Itrapped, these past few days I've been thinking a lot. You told me a lot about you and your feelings and your past friends too… and I'm really thinking about it. So, I wanna ask you something."

Itrapped nodded, watching every movement of theirs.

Chance looked at Itrapped and let go off his face, their hands were now resting on Itrapped's. "No—I won't ask you anything."

Itrapped left a sigh of relief, but before he could even think of calming his nerves, Chance continued speaking.

"Whenever I ask you something you drift the question away, so I'll just tell you." Chance said. They took a long breath, gathering all the courage stored in their body. "I like you." Their soul nearly left their body along with the words they spoke. "I like you more than a friend."

Itrapped closed his eyes. His hands, covered by Chance's hands, wouldn't stop shaking. Chance held them tight, to prevent this from happening.

This… this couldn't be. There was no way Chance actually meant that, but Itrapped's ears wouldn't fool him like that, not now. Liking him was at least understandable to a certain extent. But willing to engage in a romantic relationship with him? He knew Chance weren't exactly right in their mind, but isn't it too absurd? Even for them? Itrapped was a horrible person, clumsy, inadequate, had a terrible temper. There was no way anyone would ever want to pursue with relationship with him.

"Why?" Itrapped asked.

Why him out of all people? He's no good and Chance deserves someone better, someone who's actually worth their time, Itrapped couldn't accept the selfishness of his heart making Chance believe he was the one made for them.

"What do you mean?"

"W-Why me?" Itrapped asks again, trying to prevent tears from falling.

"If not you, then who? I didn't even know I could like someone this much before. Itrapped, I know it's hard for you and I'm sorry for the harsh words from before… but I really, really like you. And if you're now considering your feelings after I said too much it's fine an-"

Before Chance could finish their sentence, Itrapped, with all the little confidence left in his body, grabs Chance by their face and smash his lips against theirs. Itrapped is a little clumsy at first, he never did anything remotely close to this as his only references were only romance books and that's it. Chance was in the same situation, but at least they could play it off, they tried to find some pace for them and Itrapped followed it immediately. Itrapped's lips were so soft against theirs. At first, Chance worries that they're overstepping, that they might scare Itrapped off—but then Itrapped puts his arms around Chance's shoulders to pull them closer, deepening the kiss ever so slightly.

Itrapped almost climbs on top of Chance as they hold him by the hips to prevent him from falling, they both don't know what they're doing, but it still feels good.

"C-Chance…" Itrapped whispers, pulling back from the kiss to gasp for some air.

"Holy shit, are you okay?" Chance asks, breathless.

"Mmh…" Itrapped nods, he averts Chance's gaze before speaking again. "Can we… can we do that again?" he asks, both his cheeks and ears burning a beautiful shade of red.

Chance peeks at Itrapped's flushed cheeks and smiles like a fool. They then give an eager nod. They don't wait a single second to capture his lips once again. Chance gasps as Itrapped kisses him back all riled up, and they swear they could pass out just from hearing his soft whimpers against their mouth. And Chance kisses him again. And again. They pull Itrapped into their arms, kissing him until he can't form a single coherent thought anymore, and they're determined to keep doing this for the rest of their life.

Itrapped babbles something against Chance's mouth before pulling away again. This time, he can barely keep his eyes open so Chance keeps holding him in their arms until he can operate again.

"Chance," said Itrapped. I love you, he wanted to say. You saw me in both my ugly and beautiful moments, you saw me cry, smile, whine, everything. And you're still here. Why is that? Why is that that makes me so drawn to you? I only want you to see me, I only want you to feel me. I only want you. Do you only want me too? I hope you do. "Was that good for you?"

"Good? It was more than good! This is everything I've ever dreamed of but way better," they said, very enthusiastically. Chance is smiling from ear to ear while still holding Itrapped close. "You were so good, I can't believe it was your first time."

"Was it not yours?" Itrapped asks, there's a small hint of sadness in his eyes.

"N-No! That's not what I meant. It's mine too… but you were so eager… I almost passed out."

"Ah, I see. My apologies…"

"Don't apologize! Never again, I'm being serious. I think I might need more."

"Oh…" Itrapped covers his mouth before speaking again. "Me too."

Chance blinks, once, twice. They stare at Itrapped to see if there's any hint of discomfort but there's none. Then, with their free hands, Chance grabs Itrapped by the hips and press him harder against their chest, looking at him once again before speaking.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured just becaus-"

"I'm sure," Itrapped interrupts, placing one of his hands in the back of Chance's neck and caressing it gently. "I… I trust you enough with me."

"O-Okay…" Chance stutters after hearing Itrapped's words that hit them like a punch in the face. He really was willing to trust his entire being in their hands, that was… huge. Really huge. "Tell me when you want to stop and I will."

Itrapped nodded. He didn't want to sound desperate but he really was, so instead, he decided to take the lead if Chance was still so scared. He started by placing small kisses against Chance's face, then he lowered to their chin, their jaw. Itrapped grabbed Chance by the tie and pulled them closer before whispering, "Can I?" he asked, already undoing their tie and shirt. Chance gulped and nodded eagerly. Itrapped smiled and placed a small peck on their lips.

Itrapped's fingers wander around Chance's now exposed chest, exploring the warmth of their skin, a few moments later, Itrapped starts kissing their chest, his lips start moving to Chance's throat, leaving small bites and hickeys on their skin.

"F-Fuck—hah—Itrapped–" Chance moans, desperately clinging onto Itrapped's hips. Itrapped managed to prevent a whimper for coming out.

"Your body… reacts to me so well," he said between kisses, now nibbling Chance's ears. His free hands teasing and wandering around Chance's stomach and neck, Itrapped feels their Adam's apple bobbing against the touch of his fingers. "You're so sensitive Chance, you're doing so good for me," he smiles fondly before grabbing Chance by the neck and squeeze it a little, making the other leave a breathless gasp out.

"Ngh– F-Fuck–" Chance leaves a guttural groan out. "Where did you learn to talk like that?" they ask, the edges of their mouth tugged up in their familiar smirk.

Itrapped doesn't answer, instead, he starts grinding against Chance's growing bulge, the friction against his now aching cunt making him bite his lips and hold their shoulders tighter. "A-Already this hard from a simple teasing?" he asks, holding Chance's face to make them look at him. "Aren't you a little pathetic?" he laughs sarcastically, squeezing their face a little harder.

"Watch your mouth," Chance laughs, grabbing Itrapped by the waist and quickly switching positions, now pressing his delicate body under the couch. Itrapped wanred to add a few more teasing words to make Chance even more riled up, but no words came imto his mind, his brain was just filled with lust and arousal.

"Hah– C-Chance," Itrapped calls for them, he lips slightly parted. Chance couldn't help but feel a rush of satisfaction at his expression—he was utterly lost, and they were thoroughly enjoying his reaction. Their fingers drifted up along his spine, teasing circles beneath the edges of his shirt. They kept Itrapped held firmly against them, close enough to feel every breath. "P-Please, I– Nghh…" Itrapped was cut out by a moan.

"That's my name," they said jokingly, voice low and filled with lust. "Please what, hm? You were about to say something."

"I– God, Chance," Itrapped huffed in annoyance. He turns his head the other way, trying to avoid Chance's eyes as much as possible. They were too dark but also too tempting.

His attempt to avert their gaze was futile, as Chance gently but firmly guided his face back towards them. Their hands, though weary, were precise and sure as they cradled Itrapped in place. Chance chuckled softly at his stutter, a deep and gravelly rumble against his ear.

"Eyes on me," they murmured, thumb tracing the line of his jaw, the other hand still firmly anchored at his waist. They leaned in a little closer, their breath fanning across his throat. "I asked you a question. Tell me what you want and I'll do it."

"Why do you want me to say it that much? W-We both know what it is," he hisses back, his eyebrows are frowned as he impatiently waits for Chance to stop with whatever bullshit they're doing now.

Chance smirked, their tired eyes darkened with something more than exhaustion. The heat of his skin against their hand, the faint tremor in his voice—all of it was driving them wilder.

"Because I want to hear you say it," they murmured, the words thick with a growing desire. Their thumb brushed gently over his lower lip, the callouses from their many bickering sessions leaving a slight, scratchy sensation. "You know what I'm talking about. Say it."

"Fuck, you want me to say I want you to touch me?" Itrapped says bluntly, unfortunately for him, his irritation only makes Chance more horny.

Chance let out a low, gravelly laugh—half amusement, half arousal—at Itrapped's sudden bluntness. Their grip tightened just slightly, fingers digging into the softness of his stomach as they pulled him even closer, thrir smirk widening into something outright wolfish.

"Mm. Exactly that," they murmured, voice rough against her ear before nipping lightly at the lobe. "You were quick with that one, huh?"

Their free hand slid up his thigh, squeezing gently before teasing the hem of his underwear—testing, teasing, seeing how far he'd let them push. "So?" they prompted, breath hot against his neck. "Tell me where you want me to hold you."

"C-Chance," Itrapped bites his lips once again, making them bleed this time. As if moved by instinct, he starts jacking his hips against Chance's, trying to find some relief. He doesn't know whar he's doing, but it feels right—and very good too.

Chance exhaled against his throat, the heat of their breath raising goosebumps as they spoke, voice rough with obscene lust. "That's not saying it," they murmured, the words half a tease, half a challenge. Their touch was almost bruising against his stomach. "Say it, Itrapped."

"Please, Chance. I need you to t-touch me… anywhere please, please." Itrapped cries out, a pathetic and desperate attempt of his to bring out any pleasure that Chance could give him. He also made a mental note to never do something remotely similar to this again.

Chance groaned at the sound of Itrapped's desperate plea—raw, unfiltered, and so damn beautiful, they placed a kiss on Itrapped's forehead before their hands started moving instantly, no teasing left as they pushed his shirt up further, fingers tracing reverently over every inch of skin their fingers could reach.

"Like this?" their voice was wrecked, rough with exhaustion and arousal as their lips found her collarbone, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses down the curve of his throat. "Or like this?" Chance's hand slipped beneath his waistband, fingers dipping just low enough to make Itrapped gasp. "Fuck, you sound so pretty when you beg, I love you so much," Chance growled against his skin, the words muffled against his neck. "I need more."

"Mhm–hm," Itrapped hummed, his eyes watering as he felt Chance's fingers making its way to touch him, he could take this. It was more than natural to feel like this. "Chance–Hah– Please. I want you."

His pleading was undoing Chance even more than that desperate first sound had—Chance never thought they'd ever hear Itrapped like this, so raw and needy… all because of them and them alone. Their touch, once soft and reverential, grew a little more possessive.

They pressed his legs apart, settling Itrapped properly in their lap, and pulled him down until his body was completely flush against theirs. "Say it again," Chance ordered, panting against Itrapped's ear. "Say it again. And I'll give you all you want. I'll be so good for you, Itrapped, let me treat you right, please."

"I want you Chance, I need you, please, I–I really need you." Itrapped said as he moved his hands up to ghost Chance's chest and face. God, despite their very obvious arousal, Chance spoke to Itrapped so gently he could almost cry, but he didn't want to do that yet, it's far too embarrassing to cry for being treated good.

"I know, I know baby. I'll… I'll make you feel real good, just lemme–" Chance pants as their hands yanked Itrapped's hips down against his, grinding him hard against the undeniable heat of their hardened cock. One hand tangled in his long hair, tugging just enough to make him gasp as their mouth crashed against his—messy, starved. Itrapped gasps against Chance's mouth, the warmth of his breath making Chance moan shamelessly. Itrapped wants to say something, but he knows it'll be in vain since his lips are being devoured right now, so he just accepts and enjoys the pleasure Chance is giving to him.

"Feel that?" Chance asks cocky, growling against Itrapped's lips as their fingers dig bruises into his pale skin, holding Itrapped by his thighs as Chance rolls their bulge against him. "That's what you do to me." Their free hand slid again beneath Itrapped's clothes, while the other worked to take both his pants and underwear off, he was already dripping wet for Chance. Their hands were quick to map every trembling inch of Itrapped with rough, desperate strokes.

Suddenly, Chance's fingers stop moving and Itrapped instantly lefts a groan of frustration out, he furrows his eyebrows and stares at Chance confused, who only smiles at him fondly.

"I… I wanted to know if you're comfortable with–" they pause, then think carefully before uttering their next words. "If you want me to keep going or… or maybe that was enough already-"

"No!" Itrapped protests, he didn't realize how desperate he sounded until he looked back at Chance, who was just as surprised as him. "I mean," he starts, clearing his throat. "I wish to continue. Let's just… slow down, if that's ok. I still need to get used to it."

Chance nodded at Itrapped's words and gave him a reassuring smile, they cupped his face with their other free hand and caressed it gently, Chance had to take a moment to remind themself that this was new for him. For both of them.

So Chance forced both their body and mind to slow down, to be as gentle as they could. Their hands still explored his body, but they were deliberate now—less needy and more tender. "Shhh, I got you," they murmured. "S'alright. Trust me."

"I trust you," Itrapped whispers, his body feels less tense than it felt before. Itrapped tilts his head to the back, parting his lips slightly when he feels Chance setting a new pace with their fingers, his cunt twitching around them as Itrapped grabs a handful of their hair and pulls with considerable strenght, Chance barks loudly. "Mmph– F-Feels good, Chance, n-need more–hah–please," Itrapped must be out of his mind to be saying such things. He's definitely gonna regret this in the morning,

Chance isn't one to deny Itrapped's requests. "Anything for you, my love." They pull out and gathers the wetness pooling around Itrapped's cunt before entering him once again with three fingers. Itrapped moans, he wraps his legs around Chance's hips, rolling his own hips to feel them twice ss much.

"Feels good?" Chance asks, a tinge of teasing in their tone. "You feel so hot inside, 'Trapped, you're taking me so well… I think I was made for you." Their soaked fingers fucking harder into Itrapped, squelching sounds filling Itrapped's living room as they thrust harder. Chance's pace speeds up and all Itrapped can do is cling onto them for dear life, legs spasming as Chance's thumb rubs against their clit. Chance keep muttering apologies, for not being able to hold back and go harder as they promised they wouldn't, it's not like Itrapped can intervene, he's far too gone for now.

"Oh, fuck, Itrapped, you're so beautiful like this," Chance said as they leaned down to capture Itrapped's lips close to theirs, they just couldn't stop wanting to kiss him over and over again.

"Are you close, baby?"

Itrapped nods, shutting his eyes so tight that tears start running down the sides of his face. His entire lower body is growing completely numb and yet, his legs stay wrapped around Chance. He's close. He's so fucking close. "I-I'm gonna–" Itrapped adverts, he sobs as he slowly approaches his climax, "Haah–! C-Chance, oh god–"

Chance bites down on the side of Itrapped's neck as their thruts are starting to get more sloppy and slower, a sign Chance is losing their pace too. Their fingers are ready to be milked by Itrapped's release.

Itrapped's release comes harder than he ever expected—maybe all the pent-up frustration from all those years really got him, Chance thrusts their fingers a bit more, making Itrapped shut his eyes tight. "F-Fuck–!" he whines one more time, back arching and fingers digging into Chance's hair. Chance gives one more hard thrust before slowly pulling out their fingers out of his core, leaving Itrapped leaking.

"You were so good," they mumble against Itrapped's hot skin, Chance brings their fingers up to their mouth to get a taste of Itrapped for the first time. "And you're sweeter than I expected."

Itrapped doesn't answer—or else he would've had scolded Chance already—he's too busy trying to replenish his air after the most intense fuck he's ever had in his life. It was the first he ever had too, but that didn't matter.

"A-Are you okay? I'm really sorry I got caried away and I probably hurt you and–"

"I am more than fine."

"Are you sure?" Chance asks worried.

"I am, just… very exhausted," Itrapped says, smiling fondly at Chance.

"Did I make you feel good?"

"Must I elaborate obvious things to you?"

Chance shuts their mouth, he mustn't, but it would be nice to listen to know regardless… so he keeps starting at Itrapped like a puppy, waiting to receive a praise after doing a trick.

"I…" Itrapped starts, uncertain of what to say or do next, his breath is still heavy as he pants tired. He looks at Chance before cupping their face again and caressing it gently once again. "Can I make you feel good too? I wanted to help, you did a lot and you didn't even finish."

Chance laughs at Itrapped's innocent request, and then looks at the very dark damp in their pants, that was the one thing Itrapped should never worry about. They shook their head and hold Itrapped's hand that were resting on their cheeks now.

"You already give me enough pleasure just from laying there and letting me do what I have to do. Don't worry about me from now on." Chance takes Itrapped's hand and kisses it, Itrapped nods shyly, although this time he doesn't feel like hiding from Chance.

"Chance," Itrapped says after a while, his voice a little more firm this time. Chance swears they're gonna have a heart attack if Itrapped calls them by their name like that. "Thank you. For everything you did. And for enduring me, I…" he took a deep breath before saying his next words, they would mean a lot for him from now on.

"I love you."

"You finally said it!"

"Huh?" Itrapped stares at Chance, was that all they had to say?

"You never said this before… I know because you never actually did say this to anyone else. Your own words. Do you really mean it?"

"You already know the answer," Itrapped says, rolling his eyes in annoyance. He needed to stop behaving like that.

"Then I love you too! So much. You're my favorite person, my best friend and now m– wait, does that make us partners now?"

"Tch," Itrapped scoffs, but he doesn't know the answer too. Are they? He never thought of being friends with anyone, let alone be in a romantic relationship. "I don't know, would you want me to be yours?"

"Yes! Absolutely, but I wanted to ask if I could be yours first…" then, an idea pops their mind. "Itrapped!" Chance calls him before Itrapped could answer them first. "In that case, can I be your boyfriend?" they ask, hoping to hear a yes.

"I… I would love to, yes." he answers, cleaning his throat awkwardly. "You really are something, Chance."

"What?" they ask, tilting their head to the side.

"Very sweet."

"You're sweeter, much sweeter. I can testify as I tasted it myself." Chance says teasingly.

Itrapped groans and punches their arm lightly. "S-Stop talking," he mutters, turning his head away, "and let me rest."

Chance nods their head and presses a soft kiss on top of Itrapped's head, they mutter an excuse me before picking up Itrapped's body and carrying it to his room, they lay Itrapped in the bed, wrapping him in the blanket and stroking his hair one last time. "I'll leave once you feel better."

"It might take a while, you'd want to leave," Itrapped mumbles under his breath, his voice is almost inaudible.

"I wouldn't," Chance whispers against Itrapped's ear, who curls under the blanket. "As long as you need, I'm right here."