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Rin's eyes were glued to the bottle that was spinning on the table, his heart thumping wildly as he watched it gradually slow down to a stop, pointing to his brother. He heard a collective gasp, a loud 'fuck', all followed by a burst of laughter. Rin ground his teeth.
"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"
College kids were stupid, but Rin never thought they'd be this fucked up. Everybody knew Sae and Rin; they all knew they were brothers. How they still wanted them to kiss despite the fact that they were biologically related was beyond Rin.
"Fucking weirdos," Rin swore. All he wanted was to go out and have fun like a normal nineteen-year-old boy, not to give people a perverted kissing show. That was why he agreed to come to the party in the first place despite hating social gatherings to the core.
"Come on. Rules are rules," someone said. Rin didn't even know him. A friend of a friend of a friend maybe. He hated it here.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sae get up from his chair. God knew why he was there in the first place, knowing Rin was one of the players. Now they were in this mess together, and Rin didn't know how to get out of it.
"Just give them what they want," Sae said as he came to stand beside Rin. "They'll drop it."
"Have you lost your mind?"
He and his brother used to be close, so close that their parents were scared he wouldn't develop a personality of his own and would keep mimicking Sae forever. Wherever Sae went, Rin was never far behind. If he said the sky was pink, Rin would tell anyone who said it was blue they were wrong. When Sae started playing football, Rin followed in his footsteps. He remembered asking their parents for the same cleats as him, telling them he wanted to be like his nii-chan in every way.
They looked a bit concerned.
Rin had never known anyone cooler and kinder than Sae. That was why when he decided to spend his high school years abroad, leaving Rin in Japan and telling him to stop following him around, it hurt so badly Rin stopped talking for months. When Sae came back home to start college three years later, Rin showed him he wasn't the only one who'd changed. Ironically, he resembled Sae even more when he was cold and rude, but one thing was clear—the old Rin was dead.
Sharing a house with Sae when Rin started college was their mother's idea of salvaging a broken relationship.
"So your brother can take care of you," she said.
"I don't need him to take care of me," Rin replied, bile rising in his throat, his heart throbbing with dull pain as he thought about his brother who was now in his second year of college, the same college Rin was going to next year.
"I really don't understand you both." His mother sighed. "You used to be inseparable."
"People change, Mom."
"Just stay with him, okay? Don't worry me," His mother said. "I already asked and he said okay."
He didn't know what he expected when Sae told him to give the onlookers what they wanted, a peck on the cheek perhaps, just to sate their morbid curiosity, but surely, it wasn't Sae's lips on his. Rin heard another cheer, but it lasted for two seconds max before his mind went blank and all he was aware of were his brother's pillowy lips and velvety, wet tongue.
Sae tasted like beer and smelled like cigarettes and his everyday perfume combined. And though Rin hated cigarettes, on Sae, the smell wasn't so bad. He felt a hand on his face, caressing his cheek, silently coaxing him into opening his mouth wider. Uncomplainingly, Rin obeyed.
"I thought you hated me," Sae whispered against his mouth.
That snapped Rin out of whatever spell he was under, and he quickly slapped Sae's hand away from his face. His brother had bent down to kiss him, seeing that he was still in his chair. As Sae strengthened to his full height, he had this infuriating smirk Rin had never seen before on his face. It was kind of spooky since he rarely smiled, but it also made heat rush through Rin's body, making him fidget.
He refused to find out what that reaction meant.
"That was hot as hell," someone shouted and a bunch of people started whistling.
They were all making fun of him because he let his brother French-kiss him in public. As for the brother, he was still as unfazed as ever. A mix of humiliation and anger coursed through Rin's veins. Mad at everyone and everything, including himself, Rin stood up and left the apartment without a word.
It was 2 AM. The street in front of the apartment building was so quiet all he heard were his own footsteps. Rin didn't know where he was going, but he needed to keep moving so that he didn't have to think—a little distraction that was soon destroyed by the arrival of a shiny white sedan.
"Stop sulking like a baby," Sae said from behind the wheel of his car, driving slowly with his window half rolled down to match Rin's pace. "Get in the car."
He kept walking.
"Rin." Sae's voice was downright harsh this time.
"Tch!" Rin tutted and walked to the passenger side, opened the door and slammed it close, then he spent the whole ride scrolling on his phone, not uttering a word to the person who just stuck his tongue down his throat only half an hour ago.
When the car was parked and his seatbelt was unbuckled, Rin's hand flew to the door handle, but he wasn't faster than Sae. His brother smacked the back of his hand, hard enough to sting, halting his escape.
"What's with the attitude?" Sae looked at him with a questioning gaze.
"You kissed me."
"We kissed," he corrected. "It was just a silly game."
There were no more words after that, only the ones in Rin's head, loud but unheard by anyone but him. Why was he the only one affected? By the kiss, the stares, the people teasing them. How could Sae not feel anything? He was the one who encouraged them to do it, the one who initiated the not-so innocent kiss. He fucking smirked.
"Sometimes," Rin began, "sometimes I wish you weren't my brother."
In the darkness that engulfed them, he only heard Sae sigh.
"You know? I still want a brother, but I want a better one."
"What do you want from me, Rin?" Sae asked, sounding eerily calm. "Do you want me to say sorry for leaving you? For not being a good-enough brother? What else do you want?" He paused. "Do you want me to say I care?"
Rin's eyes started to adjust to the dark, and the first thing he saw was that damn smirk.
"Come closer." Sae beckoned to him. "I don't want you to miss a word."
When Rin didn't move, Sae snatched him by his upper arm and jerked Rin towards him.
"I do care about you. I didn't want to leave you, but I did it so you could learn to be independent. I know I hurt you, said some mean stuff. I know I've taught you to say many things, but Rin, I've never really been good with words myself. And for that, I'm sorry," Sae said, his eyes drifting almost tenderly from Rin's eyes to Rin's lips, but before he knew it, they turned cold. "But you can't say shit like that, Rin. I'm your brother, the only one you'll have for the rest of your life, and it'll never change. No one can replace me."
Sae leaned closer to Rin. "Now… say sorry."
"Sorr—"
The instant Rin opened his mouth, Sae closed it again with his, swallowing the word he was about to mutter. This was the second time he was kissed by his brother. If the first time was a silly game, what was the excuse for this one?
The way Sae's tongue chased and captured his—deliberate, intrusive, and selfish—by no means was this kiss an accident. Rin thought about telling Mom and Dad. If he tried hard enough, he could probably grab his phone and call one of them. Then he would tell them their eldest son kissed his little brother, that he touched the body they made in the car they bought him.
It'd break their hearts, but worse, it would ruin Sae—his future, his life. Maybe that would humble him—just maybe. If only Rin had the strength to do it.
Rin sighed, returning the kiss.
How disappointing… Rin thought as he let Sae unbutton his jeans and take his cock out.
The truth was he was still where Sae left him, in their shared bedroom, crying, refusing to go to the airport to send him off. And when it took too long to persuade him to unlock the door and come out of the room, they left without him. The last thing Sae said to him bounced off one wall and into another like a football being kicked with an unimaginable strength.
"Grow up, Rin," Sae said with a straight face after Rin begged their parents to let him tag along. "Stop following me around. You're not five any more."
With every moan he let out as Sae fisted his cock, he was reminded that he was still the same Rin who was addicted to Sae's affection and thought he was entitled to it. To him, Sae's love was supposed to be forever; him leaving Rin wasn't part of the plan.
"I hate you," Rin said under his breath, but Sae was close enough to hear.
"You wish." Sae mumbled back.
Rin never thought car sex was practical, but Sae made it work. Lying on the back seat, one leg around Sae's waist and the other on his shoulder, his brother cock deep in his ass, there was nowhere else he'd rather be.
The car wasn't completely dark now that the flash from Sae's phone was on. He was filming Rin. It was too bright to keep his eyes open because the camera was aimed directly at him, so he just lay there and let Sae did whatever he wanted to him, fucking him, tweaking his nipples, slapping his face so hard tears pricked his eyes—whatever his brother wanted. They were both naked and a little loud, but since it was almost three in the morning, their neighbors should already be fast asleep.
There was a long buzz and the flash was suddenly off; someone was calling Sae. Three fucking o'clock in the morning, and someone was calling him. Sae stopped thrusting. One of his eyebrows rose as he looked at his phone. Flooded with jealousy, Rin bucked his hips, needing his brother's cock deeper inside him, needing Sae's attention to be on him only.
"Mom." Sae answered the phone.
Rin's eyes widened; he was as still as a stone now that he knew who was on the line. It was Sae who started moving again, shoving every inch of his dick in Rin's tense hole. He had to clap a hand over his mouth to hold himself back from screaming.
"Yeah, we just got back from the party. He's in the shower," Sae said. "No, he didn't drink."
He then tapped on the screen, putting Mom on speaker.
"How was it? Did you guys have fun? Did Rin like it?" Mom fired questions, sounding eager. "How did you even convince him to go?"
"He hated it," Sae answered, his thrusts turning a tad rougher. Rin wondered if a person could die from feeling too good. Sae was right; he hated the party, but he sure loved getting fucked after it.
"Thought so, but it's good that he's going out," Mom went on. "Okay, gotta go, honey. Mom and Dad are heading to the airport, thought I should call since you left a message."
"Goodnight, Son," Dad chimed in.
It was funny how Rin thought about calling them earlier for help but now couldn't wait for them to hang up, so Sae could concentrate on fucking him. On the verge of coming, Rin wasn't above begging.
"Please, nii-chan, hang up" Rin softly cried. "Wanna come."
"Enjoy your trip," Sae said and ended the call. Rin heard a thud as the phone hit the floorboard of the car, and then it was just him moaning.
"You're so messed up," Sae said. "That was Mom and Dad."
"I know."
"Don't you care about them at all?" Sae pumped his hips in and out; his cock kept nudging the spot that made Rin weak. "Do you even know today's their wedding anniversary? They're going to Bali to celebrate."
Rin shook his head, and he heard a sigh.
"Talk to them. They're worried about you."
Well, they didn't seem to care about him that much when he needed them to. When he needed Sae, they separated them. He wouldn't be surprised if it was them who put the idea of leaving Rin into Sae's head. On the day Sae had to leave, Rin knew they had the key to his room, but they didn't bother to go fetch it. They chose to leave him in an empty house—crying—while they sent his brother to somewhere far away, just because they were worried Rin was too attached to him.
"I don't care. Please, my cock hurts so bad," Rin said, then sneaked his hand down to jerk himself off, but Sae smacked it away.
Placing his hands on Rin's waist, Sae quickened his pace. Rin's head hit the door a couple of times from the hard pounding, but he was quickly yanked back by the hands on his waist. Given how hard Sae manhandled him, he just knew there were going to be bruises on his body.
"You look dumb as fuck, Rin. Is my cock that good?" Sae teased. "I'm going to come inside you, and you're going to let me, okay?"
Rin only nodded, too cock-drunk to say anything.
"Have you ever wished you could get pregnant?" Sae asked.
Rin shuddered at the thought, but not in a bad way. He entertained the idea, imagining himself carrying Sae's child, being his in the most intimate way, and it was enough to make him blow his load. Right after, Sae joined him. His cock shot ribbons of cum inside Rin as he promised.
"Brother-loving whore," Sae grunted.
He could be talking about himself, for all Rin knew. Itoshi Sae, the brother-loving whore. Because who in their right mind would want to knock their brother up? Rin thought, and another question echoed.
And who in their right mind would want to get knocked up by their brother?
They were both insane, it seemed.
"Can I sleep in your room from now on?" Rin asked groggily.
"Grow up." Sae bent down to kiss him, his cock still buried snugly in Rin's abused asshole. "We're not—"
"—five anymore," Rin finished his sentence.
"Huh?"
"I just want to be close to you," Rin cooed.
"You just wanna get fucked."
"That too." Rin nuzzled Sae's neck. The smell of the party still clung to his skin—cigarette smoke, alcohol, sweat, and his perfume.
"Do you smoke?"
"No," Sae replied. "But I did tonight."
"So you smoke."
"Occasionally, then," Sae changed his answer, "to relieve stress."
"Don't get addicted," Rin said. "I don't want you to die first."
"Don't go to parties and play silly games," Sae countered. "You stressed the fuck out of me tonight."
Sticking his tongue out at his brother, Rin let out a quiet bleh, and Sae responded in kind.