Chapter Text
Prologue
Wide eyes watched in amazement as the gun wielding man knocked out everyone in the room. It happened so fast, Lily hadn't even blinked or closed her mouth before it was over. Strapped as she was to her bed, she could only stare back at him when his eyes found hers.
'Chocolate.' Was her first thought. She had tasted it once as a reward for being a good girl. It was the same color and brought the same comfort to her as the treat so it immediately put Lily at ease. The second thought was that even though he held her eyes in a steady, unwavering gaze, it held deep pain in its depths, regret, fear, confusion ...but also single minded determination.
"Easy, Kiddo. I'm here to help." He told her, voice smooth and comforting. Lily felt it in her soul, knowing at once that he was being truthful. Her assessment was confirmed when his gentle fingers grazed her wrist as he unfastened the thick straps holding her down.
“Hi.” He breathed, softly wiping away something from her cheek. A barrage of emotion filled her, followed by snapshots of memories, abuse, betrayal, bad choices, death, regret and hope.
"It's OK." He soothed, mistaking her quick inhale as fear while getting her arms free. "I'm Ward." He smiled, crooked and reassuring. "We've got to go, little one. I didn't expect to find you here, but I can’t leave you, behind.” He looked around quickly.
“Not in this place." Ward murmured the last part to himself, then louder, "Are you hurt at all?"
He lowered the blanket carefully, relieved that she was in a plain blue, two piece uniform that looked a lot like medical scrubs. He released the straps on her ankles next, her socked feet drawing up immediately. She shook her head no, reached out for him before he could offer to lift her up and crawled over to him to secure herself over his shoulders like a backpack.
She felt him mentally stumble trying to figure out how she knew what he was going to ask her to do but just as quickly, he re-evaluated his escape plan to include her, making her safety his priority. Lily felt everything, every shift in his mind, every thought and emotion running through Ward, and she felt it deeply. Felt the safest she'd ever felt in the entirety of her little life. An unexpected thump reached out from her chest to the heart beating inside his.
She sighed shakily, connecting to him on some level that she couldn't understand. Her small fingers linked across his throat lightly, as she leaned over his shoulder to peek around. Back muscles bunched and tensed, steadied her. Once he was sure she wouldn't fall off, he moved, fast. With a quick apology to her, he reached back and stuffed a pair of earphones into her ears, the sound of classical music filtering through, muting out everything else. It would not stop what she felt, but it did lessen the impact. Taking the silent cue for what she guessed was her own good, Lily ducked her head between his shoulder blades and closed her eyes. It helped, knowing without him having to speak what he needed from her, and she was grateful for his concern that she wouldn't be scared by anything she saw. If only Ward knew what she’d already seen…
Yet inside, he was most afraid of scaring her, of hurting her. He would die to protect her and he didn’t even know her. Lily held on tightly, trying to lessen his burden, to make whatever he had to do to free her from this place possible, to get them both out alive.
Ward:
Gun in hand, he took a deep breath to steady himself, and turned, balancing her weight easily while he crouch-ran towards the exit. They made it down two flights of stairs before the alarms went off and time slowed down for Ward. He felt her shift when he stopped. He adjusted her slightly, a little higher up his back so he could reach his ammo, but also to keep her hidden behind him so she wouldn't get hit by a stray anything.
He had to keep this precious cargo safe no matter what.
Warm air fluttered against his nape, her soft breaths tickling the hair curling there. Somehow, it grounded him. Gave him purpose. He couldn't go looking for what he came for, not without risking the child hanging onto him. He'd fail this mission, but at least he'd save a life. One small notch on his long road to redemption. It probably wouldn't be enough, but it would be a start.
Ward really needed that start...
He skipped down the stairs two, three at a time, raced towards the exit, rounded a corner and the door swung open. He prayed she'd close her eyes when he fired. There was no doubt he'd be hitting his targets flawlessly but he didn’t want her privy to the aftermath.
Footsteps sounded along the corridors as more soldiers filed in, and Ward did what he'd trained most of his life to do. But he hadn't planned on finding and rescuing a child. She couldn't be more than five, six.
A small thumb drive in his pocket was far different from an actual little person dangling off his shoulders. Ward's plan changed with every scenario he was faced with but the outcome he looked for was one where this tiny, brave girl survived. He had no idea what they had done to her, what she was. He had a sense that she was Inhuman, maybe Powered, but that didn't give them the right to experiment on her, to violate her.
Fury burned within him. Ward cleared the area around him and moved on to the next target and when he ran low on ammo, he used his hands and feet to dodge and attack, trying his best to limit the use of his weapons because the sound of discharging could damage her hearing.
A wake of dead footsoldiers behind him, he was grateful that the last few attacks were silent. He found his exit point, stuck an explosive onto the wall, enough firepower to bring down the whole corridor and heard a whimper that make his heart skip.
Ward turned in time to take two hits to his vest center mass, the momentum propelling him backwards and into the opening of the tunnel he was heading for. He barely registered the pain in his head as it bounced off the edge, agony blooming across his chest. He nimbly twisted as he fell so he'd take the brunt of the fall. The corridor shook and crumbled with a loud boom and Ward was instantly swallowed into darkness.
He fought it. The greying vision and white
spots, blood dripping from his temple, the dull ache in his ribs. He scrambled for the small arms gripping him tightly, swung them around and brought her to his front, sitting awkwardly on bruised knees in total darkness, both of them heaving as he hugged her to him.
She let him. Unable to see, she let him run his hands over her shivering frame, check for blood, check for wounds.
A heavy weight settled in his chest and beat with his hammering heart.
Trust...
Given there was no one else there, but she'd given him her trust and for the first time in his wreck of a life, it meant something to Ward.
A strange feeling of peace settled within him. This child was peace in chaos.
Wobbly, still slightly off from adrenaline, he kissed the top of her curly, damp head and hushed the quiet sobs. Ward was not trained to be gentle, but something compelled him to try, for her.
"Are you hurt?" He found himself asking again, this time slightly breathless. She nodded against his throat, small sniffles and nothing more. But he could feel he was alright, if a little shaken.
The blaring alarms and footsteps were muted this far down. For now, they were safe, but they wouldn't be for long. He had to get moving if he wanted to live.
Ward felt for the earplugs, pried them loose, and she let him. Pulling out a flashlight from one of his many pockets, he quickly checked her over, just for his own peace of mind.
They were both trembling by the time he made it to his feet, but he shuffled on, one step in front of the other, already knowing where he was headed. He'd mapped three different exit points when he planned to break in, and all three would take him to a getaway vehicle.
The problem was, what does he do after? He wasn't equipped to deal with a child, nor was he willing to give her up to anyone who could potentially hurt her. He trusted no one.
Not even SHIELD.
Not after everything ...
But he did promise them a drive he did not have.
They would be waiting on it. This op was supposed to be theirs but they didn’t have an extra agent to spare right now. The Intel though, was his. He'd been the anonymous source they had relied on for information. Working to right all his wrongs, Ward had started to dismantle Hydra with all the knowledge he'd gained from them as a double agent.
Bit by bit, he'd started taking them apart. And then he'd gotten wind of something big.
There was a drive in their possession, one that held a plethora of information, of every op they'd run, every experiment, every name on the database and from every agency, all the rights and wrongs and potentials. That would be his ticket, his proof that he was a changed man. If he could offer it to Fury, via SHIELD, he might get a second chance.
Not to join a team again, but to continue his fight in peace, without having to look back every few steps and see someone with a knife ready to stick into his neck. He'd done a world of hurtful things, but they had too. They hadn't listened to his warnings, nor had they wanted to hear his reasons.
His thoughts spun crazily. Legs rubbery somehow, the weight in his arms getting heavier by the minute. Dizziness washed over him and he tried for a deeper breath, but it hitched and he found that the could only do so in small shallow gasps.
If shit could hit the fan any harder...
Ward made it out the second exit, struggling to maneuver the heavy manhole cover with a clingy child in his arms. He was loath to move her, and ask her to be a backpack again, even though it would make breathing easier.
Finally, fresh air and a cool breeze woke him up a bit from the haze clouding his vision. The car was a block away, parked inside an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town. There were people out and about, even this late but they paid him no mind.
He could use a minute, catch his breath, check in the kid..
Ward slipped into a side street, dark with shadows, the one lone street light too far away to offer any proper lighting.
It would do.
Just for a minute.... he stopped near an overstuffed garbage heap, ignored the rank stench and shifted the child in his arms.
Pain, raw and hot engulfed him. The little girl huffed a sob and cuddled into him seeking shelter, fingers tightening on the fabric at his neckline.
"No, please..." She burrowed into him, warm, solid, alive. Ward could not bring himself to force her into letting go.
"You're ok, you're alright. We're good." Ward kept murmuring to her, sinking down where he was, too spent to move and too relieved that they made it this far.
He took his minute, then called in his training and blanked his mind. Shoving away all thought of hurts and aches, he secured his bundle and kept his head as low as he could manage until he made it, stumbling, to his car.
Extracting her from his person when he climbed in was another story. The little girl shook her he’d stubbornly, crawling closer into him instead of away.
Try as he might, Ward could not get her to sit in the empty seat beside him. Every movement sent shards of pain lancing through him and when he winced, she went limp and stopped wriggling.
"I'm sorry. Please let me stay." She hiccupped and Ward gave in, telling her it's fine.
Sighing, he strapped them both in with his seat belt and started the car. He pulled onto the main street and slid seamlessly into the late night traffic. There was a concert somewhere close by which made this part easier, kept them off radar. Occasionally patting the curly hair to keep
her calm, Ward grit his teeth against the stabbing sensation in his chest and stubbornly fought off exhaustion and double vision.
Ah well, seeing as he failed this mission already, the least he could do was ask for a name. There was nothing he could offer to Fury, no drive, no leverage. But at least he'd know what to call the little girl. She looked barely six. Small, and thin, dark hair and eyes very much like his own. She looked up the same time he glanced down.
"Lily." She whispered, answering the question in his mind before he could voice it. "You didn't fail your mission. I'm the drive you came looking for."
Ward swerved, righted the car and cursed under his breath, only to hear a soft giggle in response. He slowed down, half focused on the road, half on Lily as he pulled off on the side, but kept the engine running.
'How?' He thought, testing the link.
"Dunno." She gave a small shrug and nestled closer to him before he could voice it.
"I can feel and hear and remember. Everything."
Voice slightly shaky, she scratched at his beard with her little fingers.
In the silence of the night, he petted her gently. Occasionally a passing car would light the interior throwing yellow shadows over them both.
"How long have you been there? Do you know?" He asked the little mind reader.
She huffed. "Not a mind reader." Then she did something that astounded Ward. Her sweet voice melded into his mind, slightly distorted at first, then clearer.
'I'll show you.'
Ward was grateful they weren't still driving. He could see, yes, the same as before, but overlapping, like imagination, he saw her memories. He pushed aside the drumbeat in his head and watched.
Four years... that's how long she was with Hydra. Her mother had gone through a rough pregnancy and died just as she was born. The father didn't want the problem to come home with him, noticed she was weird for a newborn, sensitive to everything around her. He didn't need the drama to deal with along with his grief and put Lily up for adoption.
The only thing he’d given her was her first name, one that her mother had picked out for her . They didn't know why she wouldn't stop crying, but touch was loud, and everything was overwhelming. She was taken away to an orphanage where she lived for two years.
Two.
Difficult.
Years.
Much too tough for a kid who wasn’t understood. Someone visited one day. Ward recognized the Hydra insignia immediately.
They tested some kids, asked questions, found Lily, still in diapers, at the time and offered good money for her. Her kind of strange was exactly what they were looking for.
She felt what they were thinking, was too little to fight back. She knew what she could do, and what they would do to her, but she was helpless.'
"They weren't nice at all. After the tests, they said they were keeping me there forever." She swallowed thickly. Such a brave little soul...
Ward knew why without having to follow her memories. She was too valuable, the perfect weapon. In the wrong hands, she would bring Armageddon.
They planned to train her as she got older, but clever and resourceful as she was, she pretended to get migraines a lot so they had to leave her be sometimes or she couldn't do as they needed. Her memory bank was huge, storing flawless sequences and heaps of information, from the moment she developed inside the womb, and it magnified with touch.
Lily was incredible.
Huge brown eyes turned on him. "Forever is a long time..." Lily leaned into him with a shudder. "They weren't very nice at all." She repeated quietly, eyes filling with tears.
If hearts could crack....Ward was sure his did. From what he figured, she was some sort of empath with an eidetic or photographic memory...more or less perfect recall...and they would be right in harnessing that kind of talent even if they were wrong to do it.
Trained correctly, with all that retained knowledge and the ability to read the room...she'd be unstoppable.
Ward knew what it was like...to be used. He knew what he'd become because of it. Knew how it could hurt because he’d done it to people too....anger and hate had strung him along for a long time. He'd only ever been loyal to Garrett, never Hydra. And that too, had been misguided. Ward only figured it out in the vault. He'd been guilted and toyed with, abused for his whole life, programmed to believe that for living, he owed everything, his body, his mind, his life to one man. He was a tool. But he owed Garrett for taking him in.
The man made it seem like it was a choice... it never had been for Grant. It was survival.
Until he didn’t want to do it anymore...
When he'd had nothing but time, stuck between cameras and glass walls, everything closing in on him, he realized that he had been hurt, maybe beyond saving now, broken.
He wanted....something....but maybe it was too late for him. Which was why he tried to end his life....and they didn’t even allow him that...
Ward hated the thought of Lily being used that way, falling into the same hands he did. Abused, used, an object not a person, a weapon...
If he could, he'd hide her away, keep her secret and protect her with his life. There was something about this tiny sprite...a connection he felt towards her from deep within his core, powerful and binding, even from before he knew her story.
He had felt this fierce need to protect her almost as soon as he laid eyes on her. Ward had never thought of having kids before, never saw himself as paternal, a father, but this child called out to that unknown part of him and forced him to acknowledge it.
Maybe the redemption he sought wouldn't come from saving the world, but from saving just this one little person.
If he could get away tonight, he'd go off grid with Lily and raise her as his own. The thought would have been impossible to fathom earlier today. Right now, he wasn't more sure of his decision.
But what if he was the wrong choice for her. Broken as he is, could he manage to not break her too...?
"You feel safe. Please don't leave me, Ward."
She'd been quietly listening to his internal monologue. Following his thoughts and the memories that went with them. She'd glimpsed his soul, and still asked to stay with him.
It humbled him.
Ward knew then, beyond every doubt his brain ever conjured, that he wouldn't leave her now.
Couldn't.
He'd get them new identities, start over, small town, few neighbours....his mind reeled with endless possibilities, a house in the country, maybe a farm, some animals...his heart sang, brain trundled on with prospects. Even if the claws of Hell were dragging him away he wouldn't hand her over to Fury. Or SHIELD or Hydra.
There it was again. That feeling of warmth spilling over from her into him.
Trust.
Peace.
Hope.
It was a mirror to what he felt for her.
No.
No one would hurt this child again. Not on his watch.
Getting the car back on the road, he ran through his options.
He'd need to do a quick patch up soon, get Lily some food, a place to rest and recoup. She would need clothes. Basic necessities...a toothbruh...
He saw the speeding car in the rearview just as Lily looked up, eyes wide.
'They found us.'
He didn't even have time to accelerate before they were hit from behind. It sent them zigzagging, and even while he struggled to control the trajectory of the vehicle, his first instinct was to get one hand over the back of Lily's head and hold her to himself firmly so she wouldn't get hurt.
The second bump caught his gas tank, had them careening into a sandy patch at the side of the road, skidding, screeching and raising dust.
He braked hard, stopping mere inches from pretzelling onto a tree and dropped his seat as the airbag activated.
It would crush Lily, already plastered to his armored vest. It cost Ward though, because the momentum made him white out.
He couldn't catch his breath for a long moment as waves of nausea and dizziness forced him to stay still. The few precious seconds disappeared, and Ward lost his window to fight back. He stayed slumped in the lowered seat with Lily cradled in his arms.
Surely they wouldn't hurt a child just to kill him?
Two cars jammed their path and Ward sighed, recognizing the driver as soon as his door was yanked apart.
May.
Surprise and anger flickered over her stony face when she took in the scene.
He tried his best to keep from wincing but he couldn't help the small gasp that left his lips when he tried to sit up. He kept his hands visible on Lily's back, hoped they wouldn't put the ICER through his head before he could explain himself but the kid was already wrapping herself around him, almost protectively. He would take what they gave him, a beating, bullet...whatever, as long as Lily was unscathed. Either way, he knew they would hurt him to get what they wanted.
Hanging off his neck, draped across his bust up chest like a Koala bear, a tiny voice promised she wouldn't let them.