Work Text:
What Max once described as the armpit that is Mike Wheeler's basement was thankfully smelling a little better than usual, largely thanks to El's new perfume, as the Party worked their way through a campain. Since Vecna's defeat, the boys had made their new mission teaching the girls to play DnD. Suprisingly, mostly to themselves, they found the game enjoyable. Max was easily frustrated, yes, but she loved killing the monsters. And even though El was newly retired from monster-killing, she too loved the game.
They were an hour into one of Mike's new campains, which he has recently tried to cut down to 5 hours max. He launched into a new monolouge, passion eveident on his face.
"Your group, tired and hungry from the journey, settle into a nearby pub, where you all relax at a bar. Will, a familiar attractive young man requests your services, do you accept the offer."
At the words "attractive young man", the entire party rolls their eyes, which Mike does not notice as he is apperently lost in Will's. You see, recently anytime a "handsome young man" approaches Will the Wise, it is usually followed by a lot of terrible flirting between the two "characters" and is honestly a bit painful for everyone to watch. In fact, this particular character has approached Will three times this campain, each encounter leading to an unbearable amount of flirting. Mike was not known for being the most discrete person so by now the others were well aware of their relationship but decided to wait for them to tell them on their own.
After way too much eye contact, Will responds,
"Well, that depends, just how handsome is he?" His voice dropped lower, causing Mike too blush.
"In my personal opinion, he is insanely handsome, gorgeous some might say. Someone you could paint portraits of."
Love makes you crazy, but appartently it makes you stupid too if Mike thinks no one will catch on to this.
"Portraits? The artist is definitely exaggerating his looks to make him look better."
Eleven groaned and mimed bashing her head off the wall. She loved her brother and his newfound confidence but he was a terrible, terrible flirt. Somehow they kept going.
"Maybe, but you know what they say beauty is in the eye of the--"
"Holy shit! Please stop!" Max shouted, head falling to her hands. "What does the guy want already?"
Now it was Mike's turn to roll his eyes, saying,
"Dialouge is an important part of the game. If you can't understand that, then I can't help you."
"Wish I understood a little less," She muttered.
Will at least had the decency to move on, and the topic was dropped. As Mike went on about the man needing some spell cast in exchange for some magic crystal weapon, the rest of the group was exchanging looks and wondering how long before one of them snapped. Lucas had money riding on Max calling them out before the end of the month.
~♡~♡~♡~
Finally, they were approaching the end of the campain. They entered a cave where, supposedly, they would meet the final villian, whose idenity had been shrouded in mystery. Mike was finishing up another monolouge, with a serious tone.
"And finally you catch glimpses of the trickster, the man who has evaded you the entire journey. Or has he? As he emerges from the smoke, you recognise his features, his tall form. This is no monsterous force, but a familiar face. The same man who gave you the crystal sword in the pub."
Mike stopped, allowing them all to react. A chorus of shouts, mostly curses, rang out.
"That's why that damn sword broke!"
"Shit, shit, shit, shit!"
"Are you fucking serious?"
"Unfortunately for you Max, I am very serious"
Maybe it was the smug look of success on Mike's face, or the slight grin on Will's, or likely the prospect of sitting through another flirting sesh, this one made mandatory for the story, that made Max snap.
"No! You know what" Max stood, leaning over the table and Dustin reached to pull her back before El swatted him away. "I am not sitting here while your "characters" eye-fuck eachother!"
Mike, shocked by both the implication of her air-quotes and the term eye-fuck, finally shut up. Max, however was just starting.
"This whole campain has been building up to more flirting! And don't try to deny it! It is absolute torture to sit through! I didn't think it got worse than you Mike- El told me some of the things you would say- and then Will started talking and my ears started to bleed!"
Mike and Will sat open mouthed while El and Lucas hid their laughter behind their hands. Dustin looked almost as shocked as the couple as he slid Lucas a ten dollar bill.