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It's after midnight and you know you have an early morning but that doesn't help you turn off the thoughts racing through your brain.
Copia fell asleep probably an hour ago.
You'd finally coaxed him out of the makeshift office and into your shared room with the promise of Beijing beef and a Star Wars marathon. Well… as much of one as he could handle before he fell asleep.
He’d found his old VHS copies from before the 1999 rerelease at Marika's house and he was so excited to show them to you. You love watching them with him, and you guess maybe he loves watching them with you too since it was enough to persuade him to relax a little.
As your brain is replaying every mistake you've made for the last decade and reminding you of how poorly you're doing everything right now, you're trying so hard not to wake up Copia.
You roll over again, acutely aware of how much you're shaking the mattress every single time you do.
Nothing is helping. All of your usual tricks are no match for tonight's bout with anxiety.
Then he wraps his arm around you.
First you're angry with yourself for waking him up. Just another thing you've fucked up. You freeze, but he nuzzles into you and you melt into him. It's impossible not to.
“Baby? Wha srong?”
He slurs sleepily into your back.
“Nothing, my love. I'm just having trouble sleeping. I'll be okay.”
“You want me to sing you a bedtime song?”
You smile and tease him, “Lemme guess? Something your Papa used to sing?”
He chuckles softly and squeezes you tighter.
“No. Something better than that old shart stain.”
He starts sleepily humming what sounds like “Dream a Little Dream of Me”. It's so wonderful to hear him and feel the rumble of his chest against your back that you actually forget why you are still awake.
Copia falls back to sleep before he finishes the whole song but that's okay because you're drifting off too, finally able to quietly sleep.