Chapter Text
Una na agad narinig ni Jhoanna ang pagbukas ng pinto sa apartment. She was sitting in front of her laptop still mulling over this article she was writing.
“Jho? Bakit gising ka pa?”
Ayun ang bungad sa kanya ni Colet pagkakita nito sa kanya sa may dining table.
Jho. Hindi “love”. Technically dapat masanay na siya.
She glanced up at her girlfriend who was looking worriedly at her.
Ah kahit papaano muhkang nag-aalala naman.
“Just trying to finish this report.” Sagot niya. Yung totoo hindi naman niya kailangan tapusin yun agad matagal pa deadline. Hindi lang siya makatulog kasi nga alam niyang wala pa si Colet.
“Ginabi ka na ah.” She said, beginning to shut down her laptop. Alam naman niya though kung saan ito nanggaling.
Hindi naman ito nagkulang ng paalam.
“Alam mo naman sila Mikhs.” Colet chuckled as she placed her bag by the hooks they had on the wall there.
Lumapit ito kay Jhoanna at hinalikan ang tuktok ng ulo nito. “Sleep na tayo? Freshen up lang ako.”
Jhoanna glanced back with a small smile and nodded her head.
Sabay na sila naglakad papunta sa bedroom.
Si Colet ay dumeretso sa banyo at si Jhoanna naman ay sumuot na sa ilalim ng bed sheets nila.
Naalala niya siya nagpabili kay Colet nitong weighted blanket kahit ayaw nito pero pinagbigyan naman siya.
Pinagbigyan. Hmm…
The moment she got settled, she felt her eyes close.
Kung ano ano pumapasok sa utak niya.
Naririnig niyang naghihilamos na si Colet o toothbrush judging by the running water.
Malamang pagod ito gawa nang galing nga sa birthday party.
And she knew who was in that party…
Napapikit siya. Stop. Stop Jhoanna.
She breathed in again, willing herself to sleep just as she felt Colet slipping under the sheets with her.
“Good night love.” Anito bago halikan siya sa pisngi at ikutin ang braso sa bewang niya.
Jhoanna sighed. A single tear fell down her cheek but she merely breathed in and stopped herself as she will sleep to take her.
=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•
”Hey.”
Napatingin si Colet kay Jhoanna nang lapitan siya nito sa balcony ng bahay nila Aiah.
”Hey Jho.” Ngiti niya pabalik.
It’s been weeks.
Jhoanna bit her lip as she leaned over the metal just like how Colet was positioned now.
“How you holding up?”
Tiningnan lang siya ni Colet.
Mahina siyang natawa. “Sorry stupid question. I guess it’s hard. Hindi niyo naman kasi kinailangan mag break?”
Bakit pa siya magpapatumpik tumpik pa diba.
Colet chuckled. “Jho ilang percentage ba ng long distance relationship ang gumagana?”
“Dunno. Pero if you want to make it work you should. Sayang eh.” Jhoanna said as she drank from the beer bottle she was holding. "I mean kung ako si Maloi? Aba hindi ako papayag, ikaw na yan eh."
She saw Colet's eyes widened slightly at that. It was probably the alcohol talking but Jhoanna found herself not being able to stop herself.
"I mean, alam mo naman diba? Na gusto kita?"
"Jho..."
"I'm not asking anything of it." Tawa ni Jhoanna. "Wag ka magpanic dyan alam ko naman na tropa lang tingin mo sa akin. I'm just saying kung alam ko naman na mahal ko at mahal ako ipaglalaban ko."
She drank from her bottle again.
"Kaya sayang talaga haha!" It was then she realized that the bottle was now empty. Pang lima na niya ata na bote yun. Kaya siguro siya nagtatapang.
She sighed, feeling the breeze hugging her skin. "Anyway baka lang gusto mo ako pagbigyan nandito lang naman ako. Hahahaha biro lang." She winked at Colet before walking back inside. Nakita niya kasi na madami pa bote ng alak sayang naman kung walang iinom.
Jhoanna opened her eyes. Shit naman bruh sa lahat naman ng mapapanaginipan. She turned to the side and saw that Colet was still asleep. Malamang mamaya pa ito magigising anong oras na din kasi ito nakauwi kagabi. She tried moving but Colet pulled her back, burying her face in her hair. "Love mamaya na tayo bumangon." The girl murmured before returning to sleep.
Napabuntong hininga si Jhoanna. She remembered her dream again.
Pinagbigyan nga siya ni Colet. Because after that party at Aiah's house, she courted her. Oo si Colet pa ang nanligaw. Biniro nga ni Jhoanna na bakit pa ito nanligaw at parang baliktad. That was a year and a half ago. 'Sinagot' niya si Colet on June 14. A few months later, on their monthsary was Colet's birthday.
Kaya every 14 ay bumibili siya ng cake sa isang bakeshop na malapit lang din sa condo ni Colet. Which reminded her na malapit na ang birthday nito.
She breathed in again. Yumakap pa ulit nang mas mahigpit ang nobya niya.
"Bango bango." Colet chuckled.
"Sus. Yung pabango mo talaga yon." Sabi pa ni Jhoanna. Pero nagugutom na kasi talaga siya. Pareho pa sila ni Colet na may pasok. "Love, luluto pa ako baon mo."
Colet only groaned in answer but let her go eventually.
Bumangon na si Jhoanna at dumeretso sa kusina ng condo para makasimula na. Bukod kasi sa breakfast ay nilulutuan niya ng lunch si Colet. Mas nauuna din siya pumasok dahil mas late ang hours ng nobya sa record label na pinagt-trabahuhan nito bilang producer at songwriter.
Nagmadali siya gumalaw para swabe ang lahat. Nakaligo na siya at lahat si Colet ay mahimbing pa din ang tulog. And she let her since she needed to recuperate. Lumapit si Jhoanna sa natutulog pa din na babae at hinalikan ito sa pisngi. "Love papasok na ako baon mo nasa may dining table."
"Mmm..."
Jhoanna smiled wanly, leaning in to kiss Colet's temple this time. "I love you." She said, breath just above a whisper.
Nagsimula na siya maglakad palayo, hearing Colet mutter. "Love you, Jho."
Mahinang napangiti si Jhoanna bago naglakad na palabas para makapasok sa trabaho. Ang maganda lang sa condo nila ay sobrang lapit nito sa kanilang opisina. Iisang network nga naman kasi sila. She worked as a field reporter and would often be out. But sometimes she would still be wirting in the office. Nagviral nga siya one time kasi ang dami daw nagkacrush sa kanya na mga netizen.
Agad naman na siya nagsimula magtrabaho pagkapasok sa loob ng kanyang cubicle. It kinda got her mind off of things. Sa sobrang focus niya sa ginagawa ay hindi niya napansin na lunch na pala. "Jho?"
Napa-angat siya ng tingin at nakita si Aiah na nakaready na para sunduin siya.
"Tama na yan it's lunch time." Ani pa Aiah habang hinihila na siya patayo.
Natatawang nagpatianod naman siya sa kaibigan. Doon lang din niya kasi naramdaman ang gutom kaya naman binunot na niya ang baunan para maka deretso na sila sa canteen ng building na iyon.
"Nagluto ka ulit? Sipag mo these days ah." Aiah said as they chose a table. Usually kasi ay bumibili lang sila ng lunch pero ngayon panay luto si Jhoanna. And that's when she realized that she had a response to what Aiah said. "Mm kasi hindi kami madalas na nagd-dinner ni Colet nung mga nakaraang linggo kaya ang dami pa namin stocks ayun inuubos ko."
Aiah turned to her with a wary look. "Ah kasi busy siya no? Diba ano, they're working on a new album?"
Jhoanna nodded her head. And as if on cue, she saw Colet entering the canteen. Sesenyas na sana siya dito nang makitang may kasunod pala ito.
"Jho." Aiah said.
Jhoanna's lips pressed into a line just for a second before she planted a smile on her face and waved again. "Love!" She called out.
Nang makita siya ni Colet ay halatang nagulat ito pero lumapit, habang nakasunod ang kasama nito.
Aiah had a ready smile on her face. "Hi Col! Maloi, lunch din kayo?"
"Hi guys!" Bati pa ni Maloi na may malaking ngiti sa muhka. "Bibili lang kami ni Col ng lunch tapos sabak na ulit para matapos na recording ni Maki."
Jhoanna stilled at that. Napatingin siya kay Colet. "Love, nilutuan kita lunch ah. Bakit bibili ka pa?"
Napatingin naman si Colet habang si Maloi ay nanlaki ang mata, halatang napagtanto nito ang sinabi.
With a sigh, Colet turned back to Jhoanna. "Jho, sorry nalate na kasi ako ng gising kanina tapos nagmadali ako nakalimutan ko ibaon."
"Oh." Jhoanna said in a small voice.
Aiah turned to them feeling slightly awkward about the situation. Pero ngumiti naman ito. "Madami pa naman food nakita namin meron ngang chicken Col, fave mo."
Jhoanna cleared her throat and smiled. "Bili na kayo ni Maloi tapos sabay na tayo kumain."
"Ahm, bibili lang talaga kami ni Jho doon na kami kakain need lang namin mahabol yung deadline." Maloi explained.
And again, Jhoanna stayed quiet. She bit the inside of her cheek before smiling at them. "Aww sayang naman, I'll see you at home na lang, Love." Aniya kay Colet.
Tumango naman ito at lumapit para halikan siya sa pisngi na may kasamang bulong. "Sorry love" She whispered again before she and Maloi headed to buy their lunch.
Napatingin si Jhoanna sa kinakain. Mabuti na lang kaunti na lang din kasi pakiramdam niya hindi na niya mauubos. She watched as Colet and Maloi got their food. Nilingon pa siya ni Colet at ngumiti naman siya dito bago ito umexit ng canteen.
It was here that she turned to Aiah who was looking warily at her.
"Want to talk about it?"
And so they found themselves back in Aiah's office, Jhoanna nursing a cup of tea.
"Ilang linggo na ako ganito." Aniya kay Aiah habang humihigpo sa hawak na tsaa. Aiah was one of their closest friends. Alam niyang never ito magiging bias. So she let it all out. "Aiah, ako kasi yung kontrabida dito sa kwento na ito."
"Jho stop it." Ani Aiah habang tumatabi sa kanya.
"No, look Aiah, kung di kasi ako nagpapansin noon kay Col--"
"Hindi mo naman pinilit si Colet makipagrelasyon." Agad na pigil ni Aiah sa sinasabi ni Jhoanna. "And malinaw naman na nagbreak talaga sila ni Maloi noon. So as far as I know Jho, hindi ka kontrabida at wala ka sinira na relasyon."
Jhoanna breathed in. She placed her head on Aiah's shoulder, trying not to cry. "Thank you." She whispered. It was comforting that her friend thought of that. Pero tantya niya sa mata ng ibang tao ay siya talaga yung epal dito.
Hindi alam ni Jhoanna kung papaano siya nakafunction pa matapos non. Pero kinaya naman hanggang sa oras na ng uwian. Naglakad na siya pabalik sa condo, bahagyang tulala at tila namamanhid ang ulo sa iniisip.
The condo was dark as she entered.
Nakita niya ang binaon niya para kay Colet na nasa dining table lang. Alam naman niyang hindi talaga nito sinasadya ang maiwan iyon pero hindi kasi maalis sa isip niya na nagsimula lang talaga na maging tila lutang ni Colet nang makabalik si Maloi.
Humiga siya sa sofa, ni hinid pa siya nagbibihis mula sa damit na pinangpasok niya kanina. Sobrang bigat ng katawan niya, hindi niya malaman kung bakit. She stared up at the ceiling, thoughts going through her head.
Matagal na kasi sila magkakatropa. College pa lang ay close na silang lahat. She always had a crush on Colet but never acted upon it since Colet obviously liked Maloi from the get go and it was reciprocated. So she was content on watching. They too had a push and pull before finally entering into that relationship a few years too long. Ang masaklap, kung kailan naging sila ay natanggap si Maloi sa isang internship sa ibang bansa. They had only been together officially for a few months before she had to fly. At kahit si Colet naman ay pumayag. Ayun nga lang ay hindi ito naniniwala sa long distance relationship.
Jhoanna sighed again, still looking up at the ceiling. At ito naman siyang umakto agad ilang linggo pa lang na nakakaalis si Maloi.
"Ginusto mo yan Jhoanna, taggapin moyung consequences." She said, talking to herself.
Welll, now that Maloi was back...paano na? Yung free trial tapos na? She breathed in. Tangina naiiyak nanaman siya. She blinked the tears away and turned to face the back of the sofa.
"Jho..."
Groaning, Jhoanna turned away, closing her eyes. Istorbo, sa tulog na nga lang makakaeskapo sa mga isipin. Sino ba 'tong ginigising siya.
"Jho sasakit likod mo dyan."
Jhoanna slowly opened her eyes at the voice. It was to see Colet looking at her with a somber look on her face.
"Shit, nakatulog ba ako? Sorry." Jhoanna groaned as she sat up. O aray pota ma-vevertigo pa nga.
Napatingin siya sa wall clock. Shit! Ang haba ng tulog niya. "Sorry! Gutom ka na ba, luluto lang ako dinn--"
"Kumain na kami Jho." Colet said, holding her arm.
Ah okay. Jhoanna breathed in. Buti naman. Her stomach grumbled. So siya ang gutom pero kaya naman magluto na lang ng ramyun. "Nakalimutan ko pa magbihis." She chuckled. Silly her. "Sure ka love hindi ka nagugutom?"
Colet smiled. "Ikaw ata gutom eh, teka dyan ka lang ipagluluto kita."
"Wag ano ka ba, pagod ka pa from work." Jhoanna chuckled as she peppered kisses on Colet's face. Humagikhik naman ang huli dahil nakikiliti sa ginawa niya.
Pasimpleng napangiti si Jhoanna. Kung ano ano kasi itong naiisip niya e mahal din naman siya ni Colet. Haay.
Dumeretso siya sa kusina. Nakakaramdam kasi talaga siya ng gutom. Itlog, keso at ang mahiwagang ramyun lang ang sagot dito. Nakasunod naman si Colet sa kusina habang nagsimula na siya magpainit ng tubig.
Tahimik lang silag dalawa. It was mostly Colet just watching her as she moved around.
"Uhm...Love...ano pala, magpapaalam ako." Biglang sabi ni Colet habang nilalagay ni Jhoanna ang mga gulay na kasama sa pakete sa mainit na tubig.
"Mmm? Ano yon?"
Colet was leaning on the back of one of the dining chairs as she looked at Jhoanna. "Merong song writing camp na ipapaattend sa amin."
Jhoanna stopped stirring as she heard that. Bakit biglang kumabog dibdib niya. "Oh? That's nice, camp? So ilang days?"
"One week."
Muli ay natigilan si Jhoanna. She looked at Colet again. "A-ang tagal ah. Saan? Saka...sino sino kayo?"
Halatang parang hindi din komportable si Colet sa usapan. Pero siyempre one week yun so kailangan talaga idiscuss.
"Sa La Union tapos uhm, kaming dalawa ni Maloi ipapadala."
Jhoanna felt her heart stop a beat. Matapos nun ay parang gusto niya sumuka pero ano naman isusuka niya e wala nga siya kinain.
Hindi siya tumitignin kay Colet. Mas interesado pa siya sa itsura ng gulay na umiikot ikot sa kumukulong tubig sa harap niya. Nawala na yung gutom niya kanina. Napalunok siya. Kailangan hindi siya apektado. Kasi bakit? Siya na ang girlfriend diba? Diba?
"Kailan kayo alis?" She asked, trying to sound as casual as she could.
Sa wakas nag-angat na siya ng tingin kay Colet. And she didn't like how the girl was looking at her. Na para bang ingat na ingat ito. "Col, kako kailan alis?" She asked again.
Colet breathed in. "This Thursday."
So in two days. And kung tama tantya ni Jhoanna... "So...makakabalik ka naman sa birthday mo no?"
Colet nodded her head. "Saktong birthday ko balik namin dito."
Jhoanna nodded her head as she started pouring the soup powder and noodles into the hot water. "Mmm...sige i-impake ko na damit mo bukas love." She said, still looking at what she was cooking.
Natigilan siya nang maramdaman na niyayakap siya ni Colet mula sa likod. Hinalikan nito ang panga niya bago higpitan ang pagkakaikot ng braso sa bewang niya.
"Okay ka lang?" Jhoanna chuckled. "Huy baka kumulo ito."
"I love you." Colet said as she buried her face in Jhoanna's neck.
Napasinghap si Jhoanna. "Mahal din kita." Bulong niya bago mahinang kurutin ang braso nito. "Teka, kulit mo sige ikaw na magtapos nito bibihis muna ako, damihan mo cheese ah." Biro niya pa dito bago iwan ito sa kusina at dumeretso sa banyo ng kwarto nila.
Napatingin si Jhoanna sa salamin. She could see how tired she looked. Napabuntong hininga siya, Ito na nga ba yung panahon na kinakatakutan niya? Was this it? At the back of her mind she had an inkling this was going to happen. Matagal lang niyang niloloko ang sarili niya na baka maiba pa ang tadhana. Pero ngayon baka hindi na siya mapagbigyan.