Work Text:
There he was, in his room, sobbing helpfulness, trying to make as little noise as someone who's been crying for the past two hours can. It was 3am and he couldn't stop crying since 1am, the worst part? It was all his fault.
If you ask anyone in the ppt2 cast to describe pan everyone would use words like "crazy", "annoying", "stupid" or even "silly", but no, that's not the person pan was. His childhood was... difficult, trying to act like the adult in the house since you're 8 years old is not the best thing you could do, and pan knows that all too well. In his school, everyone described pan as "serious", "anxious", "more and adult than a child" and "lonely". Everyone just thinked of him like a homework machine too busy trying to be perfect to notice that no one was his real friend and everyone just talked to him to copy his homework. He was a lonely kid, and he was convinced that it was his fault, for being that serious and for always being absorbed in his own problems, he was the most boring person in the world, he was lonely, all his days were miserables and the only thing he wanted was to die. And it was all his fault.
So, when he had the chance to participate in paper puppets, he saw his opportunity for a new beggining. A new place where no ones know him, a new place to be a completely different guy, with new people and that just meant that he can start again. Pan turned himself in the opposite of the person he was before, like if someone had lobotomized him. Now he was silly, happy all the time, talking nonsense and making whatever things that makes him look like if he had an one digit iq. And that worked for a while, his only worry was to keep locked all this old problems in his room, but after sometime he realized that he was still... lonely. His new personality didn't win him friends, or at least someone to talks to, he was exactly what he's always have been: a lonely kid.
The tears were uncontrollable at that point, he had always been just an object to make everyone laugh. Does he deserves it? No, that's a stupid question, he TOTALLY deserves it, he deserves to be lonely, he deserves to suffer all the days of his pathetic, meaningless life, he deserves to cry in his room all the night wishing that no one could hear him, he deserves putting all his effort in hide all his problems behind his room knowing that is a waste of time because, at the end of the day, he's always gonna be the lonely, friendless child he always had been.