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It was late at night, Pencil decided to spend some time stargazing. She finally left the clubhouse after days of isolation, refusing to talk to her teammates and involving in other events, after all, everyone was spending time with their partners, 14 of february, valentine's day... All that stuff, she saw everyone hanging out during all day long. She opened the door at midnight, the cold wind motivated her to keep walking, after some minutes she finally reached a elevated area with a good view. Trees surrounded her, but didn't completely cover the night sky, bushes and rocks were near, thy were perfect places to sit and just admire the sky and stars...
She stood still. Her mind was full of thoughts she barely could make sense of, sure, the place was nice, and she went there to feel better.
But there was a feeling she couldn't shake off.
After all those years of her time poured into her friendships, all the time they spent together, made plans, hanged out, now all of her friends were gone, all of them. She didn't know where Match was, if Ruby and Bubble kept competing in BFB or were eliminated in early TPOT, Book and Ice Cube didn't talk to her, all of those years of happiness were gone in a second.
She can't deny that she missed them, she truly does, but do they miss her too?
They all probably were on good terms, they all probably found someone...
But Pencil hasn't.
Pencil sighed, laying on the yellow grass, she never got a chance to talk to them again, she never got a chance to solve things. She had no one who would listen to her, talk to her, reach out to her, until the last few days. Her team does poor efforts trying to help her, but that one girl who truly tried gained Pencil's heart instantly. Smart and intelligent, always prepared, but of course, some little gestures couldn't mean anything.
She really hoped it did.
To think that that person who cares about you doesn't only see you as a teammate or a friend, but as something more intimate.
To think that she could finally find happiness, in this hellhole of a competition.
To think she'd find love.
Did she like her back? Would she? Pencil never heard anything about GB being ever in a relationship, she didn't know what she thought about it, or if she even wanted one. Her position about that is unknow, if only Pencil had the courage to speak about what she truly felt, maybe she'd knew the answer already, she wanted to have an answer, desperately, but still didn't take action or took the first move.
She was briefly snapped out of her daydreaming when the cold of the night hit her in the face, forcing Pencil to sit up, rubbing her eyes she could've swore the stars shined brighter for a second, she brushed it off, probably seeing things from the sleepyness. Laying her back in a bush, she looked up at the moon, it felt as if it was a stage light shining on her specifically.
She could only dream of sharing this moment with Golf Ball, sitting next to each other, looking at the stars while hugging, searching for each other's warmth. Maybe even listen to all those facts GB would spit around about science, constellations, star formations, whatever, if it meant to listen to her voice until falling asleep. Pencil remembered her friendgroup used to do this all the time, now, she did it alone, no one even knew she was here.
All her friends found someone, all of them, and she was sitting alone. It was like a punch of the face, knowing that someone that used to be so close to her, that someone like Book, now didn't need Pencil, and found a new best friend, It hurted her, but there was nothing she could do about it, she can't go back and save her frienships.
She can't go back.
She closed her eyes, the quiet psithurism of the wind in the trees around Pencil almost soothed her to sleep. The view was beautiful, she was comfortable, she would finally rest after days of constant reminders of her past. Her teammates were annoying, hell, the competition was annoying, what good has it done to her so far? She was only there so she wouldn't spend more time in that annoying EXIT, she was very cautelous about Four, specially after those six years of imprisionment, and she was wary about Two, how could Pencil even trust them? Finally, she would have a moment of peace and quiet. Or at least she thought so.
She started hearing something in the distance, which didn't bother her at first, but it got louder. Footsteps in the background got closer and closer, her eyes opened as she stood up, she looked around, trying to find the source of the sound. But everything was dark, the trees wouldn't let her look past the area she was in. She could hear branches breaking as someone got closer, a small figure appeared near her in no time.
"Pencil? What are you doing here?" A quiet voice spoke to her, she got closer, looking at her teammate.
"Golf Ball? What are you doing so late here?" Pencil questioned her, but the other girl just rolled her eyes, walking past her. "I could do the same question to you! Specially after you vanished to your clubhouse right after the contest." Pencil watched as GB sat in the grass and looked at the sky, she approached her, sitting right next to her. Golf Ball looked surprised, but didn't mind. They both remained silent.
"About what you asked me... I decided to go stargazing because lately, i've been feeling down... I mean, it's nothing, I just wanted to go outside." Pencil looked away, it was hard for her to open up to someone, Golf Ball overlooked that and sighed, "I personally decided to walk all the way from the hotel to here because I was interested in seeing the Heart Nebula, considering today's date, you know, Valentine's day."
"Oh, so... Why aren't you doing it now?"
"I was hoping to capture it with my telescope, but the others threw a Valentine's party that'll last atleast a week, they dragged me in though I didn't want to be there, and I missed the perfect opportunity to capture the Heart Nebula!"
Pencil gazed at the sky, she didn't understand why or how GB lost her opportunity, but whatever. They sat in silence for some more time, before Pencil broke the silence again. "Why can't you do it?" She asked, Golf Ball remained silent for some seconds, formulating her answer, before looking at Pencil with a bit of sadness, "I was supposed to be here in the evening after dark, so the moon wouldn't cover the view, but as you can tell, I came here hours later! So I guess i'll just be watching the constellations. Like Canis Major, Gemini and Auriga."
Pencil didn't register any of Golf Ball's words, she was more lost in looking at her than listening. "That's really cool." she whispered, GB barely heard her.
"I noticed you're not talking much, is something bothering you as of lately?"
The sudden question made Pencil snap out of her thoughts, she uncomfortably shifted. "I mean, you basically know the whole story at this point... Icy, Book, Freesmart..." Golf Ball listened closely, she had heard the same thing hundreds of times, were there even details Golf Ball didn't know? Probably, Pencil wasn't really specific with anything. "So? What happened today?" GB asked, trying to get Pencil to say something else, which only made her sigh.
"I don't know, since it's Valentine's day, seeing everyone spend time with their partners... It makes me feel lonely, especially seeing Book hanging out with that newbie, it feels like the whole world is laughing at me at this point!"
"I guess I just have never feel this lonely before..."
Golf Ball couldn't relate to her, but tried to comprehend Pencil's situation in silence, Pencil kept rambling about her problems. "All my friends, all of them, every single one of them have someone! Match, Bubble, Ruby, even Book!" Pencil paused, trying to calm herself down. "I shouldn't feel this way, but I can't hide the fact that it bothers me how they all managed to find someone except me, it's not fair..." Pencil hugged her legs close to her chest, she looked down to the ground, her planned night shifted entirely, she was supposed to be stargazing to feel better about herself, now she talked of her problems to the girl of her interest, great.
"Look Pencil, i'm not the best at comforting people, but I assure you, someone will step into your life! Sooner or later, whether it's today, or after some weeks, maybe even a year... You'll make friends, there will be people for you, but if you don't stop isolating yourself you will never achieve that."
Nothing reasurred Pencil.
Pencil and her teammates had this weird talk for months of them telling her everything would be alright.
It isn't alright.
She didn't want to wait, she needed it now. She spent YEARS locked in some kind of prision just to be told to be patient. She waited long enough. "GB, I get you're trying, but... That doesn't help. I mean... You don't get it."
GB looked at Pencil, what was there to understand if she wouldn't tell her anything? Golf Ball shaked her head, trying to calm down and remove those negative thoughts, all she wanted was to understand Pencil, that's all she asked for, but she was complicated and refused to talk about it openly. "Do you want to have what they have? Their friendships? Their success? Because that's all i'm getting from you."
"No, GB! I don't want what they have! I want to be THEM! I'll never, EVER, be like them! I want to get friends as easy as they do, I want to make trust and build relationships as they do!! But I'll never be like them! That's the problem!!!"
"Woah! Pencil, calm down!" GB tried to stop her, but her attempts did nothing. Pencil ran out of breath, and quickly covered her face with her hands, sighing. Everytime she did something she regretted it right after. "I... Sorry. I didn't mean to do that, I just..." she trailed off, she mumbled under her breath, leaving Golf Ball worried.
It all happened so fast. One moment she walked over there to capture something and now she had to comfort her teammate.
"Pencil... I get you're tired of everything that's been happening lately. And my words don't seem to do anything, so..." Golf Ball moved closer to her, their legs almost touched, as Pencil still sat still with her hands covering her face. "Just know i'll be here by your side, i'll support you, i'll be there if you want to talk." Pencil looked up, a faint smile forming in her face. "Really? You know... Out of all people, I least expected that from you, GB..."
Golff Ball smiled awkwardly, was that supposed to be a compliment? Her eyes went open with surprise as Pencil pulled her close for a hug, Unexpected, but... She didn't resist, they stayed like that for minutes, before Pencil put Golf Ball back where she sat in the grass. They looked at each other and smiled. "Sorry about earlier, how about we go back to looking at stars? And see if you can capture the Heart Nebula? It's still valentine's day, you know!"
"Right, I'll get to it."
Pencil laid in the grass, she smiled while gazing at the sky, all she probably needed was someone to be there for her.
Someone who would never leave her.