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Pearl doesn’t even notice Scar climbing up the ladder to her tower before he’s at the top with her, his brown hair glittering in the pale moonlight.
Pearl stashes away the bucket of powdered snow she’d been holding, letting herself take a single tick of damage before she stows it back under her bed. Later.
She turns back to Scar to see him sitting right on the edge of her window, leaning out precariously into nothing.
“Hey, don’t fall!” Pearl calls out, smiling despite herself.
“I wasn’t going to!” Scar calls back, turning towards her. The air is cold and thin up here, and Pearl wonders how he can breathe. “I’m totally in control here. Look-“
Scar flails both of his arms out wildly, pretending to lose his balance, and Pearl catches herself reaching out towards him.
“Hey-“ She starts to call, before she realises that Scar’s messing with her. Of course he would be.
“Dude, you’ve got to have more faith in me,” Scar jokes, standing and making his way to sit on Pearl’s bed, swinging his legs slightly.
Pearl rolls her eyes, playing into the role. “Well, you’re not the most trustworthy guy, Scar,” she teases.
“Oh really?”
“You’ve stolen the enchanter. Like, five times. Over three series.”
“Well, that’s just my branding. You can’t hurt a guy for keeping up appearances, can you?”
Pearl giggles. Scar’s eyes are warm, his mouth upturned in that slight grin that feels dangerous to believe in.
“You’re funny, Scar.”
“Oh really? And here I thought that I was only good for petty enchanting table theft.”
Pearl hadn’t even noticed how close they were standing, but now she’s right above him, looking down into his eyes. They catch each other for a moment, and Pearl has to work to suppress the thing in her chest.
The air is cold, so cold, but she can feel the body heat radiating off him, surrounding her like a blanket.
He blinks.
Time is moving in slow motion, waiting for something to happen.
“Have I ever told you-“
“What?” Pearl cuts him off, plunging them both back into silence. The vapour of her breath is carried away by the wind. But Scar doesn’t answer, transfixed somehow.
Out of nowhere, he moves towards her slightly, pulling her face down to his level, and Pearl feels her heart stutter.
His hands are soft on either side of her face, his left thumb brushing over the smooth skin under her eyes thoughtfully.
“Scar, what are you doing?” She breathes out.
“Just testing something.” Scar whispers back, before he leans in.
He tastes of lavender and seasalt and hope.
Pearl thinks that, if she could have just five more minutes of this, maybe nothing else will matter. All of the hate and the pain and the estrangement won’t hurt her, because of this tiny secret between them, this small stretch of time kept like a blood-red rose preserved under layers of soft white snow.
“You could stay, maybe,” Pearl whispers, smiling back. Scar freezes, and she dares to hope. But then his face turns white.
“No. No, I’m sorry, Pearl. Grian- he-“
“Grian doesn’t want you.”
“But he’s my soulmate.”
“What, and you think that means something?”
Pearl pulls away. Of course he wouldn’t want her. Nobody could want her. He could she be so stupid to think otherwise?
“It can’t be nothing, can it? To be connected to someone else.” Scar almost scoffs, and it hits her like a silver bullet.
“Well, what does it mean for me, then, Scar?” Pearl’s lashing out. She knows she is. But she thought this was different- she thought she had someone-
“You’re different.” Scar states, as cold as ice.
“Different?” Pearl presses. She’s pacing now, making quick laps of the top of her tower.
“You don’t want anyone. You’re Scarlet Pearl.”
Pearl could punch him. She could throw him off this tower right now.
Because she knows what that name means.
Unhinged. Crazy. Reclusive.
Inhuman.
Unlovable.
Her eyes start to blur. The dark is drawing shapes in her vision, dots that spin and change colour, and she tries to breathe steadily, but everything is too fast, too real, and Scar is just watching her, as if everything she’s doing is just affirming what he already knew, and she can hear Scott in her ears, Scott telling her that she’s insane, that she’s dangerous, that she betrayed him, that she’ll betray everyone, that she-
Pearl jolts awake, her heart hammering in her chest. She grabs the scarlet sheets with both hands, trying desperately to ground herself. Her breathing comes out in sharp gulps, and no matter what she can do, she can’t get it to steady.
Tilly stares at her from the end of the bed, looking somehow wilder than usual. Her ears are bent back as though she’s facing something big and deadly.
“I’m sorry, dog,” Pearl apologises, trying to calm her down. She beckons Tilly towards her, letting her hands get lost in her soft white fur, and focuses on breathing in and out, over and over, until the room stops spinning.
Pearl looks around her tower, cast in silence. The wind whooshes through her open windows, making her shiver.
She’s alone.
Why did she think it would be real, anyway? Scar has Grian, and everyone knows how that relationship goes. He’d never leave Grian for her, of all people.
Everyone has someone. Nobody needs her.
She sighs loudly. The moon tonight is full, and it’s looming over her like a bad omen.
She just wishes it could be different.