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A finger softly grazed a plastic exterior, tracing small hearts difficult to sense, but still discernable.
His hands all over her… It was a feeling she missed. Something she yearned for during their time apart. It eased her out of the stress she was just released from – not that he had any clue on what happened that episode prior to her arrival.
Pin rustled in the duvet, bathing in its familiar, pungent, metallic scent while she hummed in thought, enveloped in a small coin’s arms. There was a rhythmic nod to their hold, a subtle rock. It was enchanting, she could fall asleep right here right now in his warm embrace if she let herself.
But she didn’t want the night to end early.
No matter how tired she may be after a loaded day of reunion, she couldn’t bear to miss out on a single second awake with Coiny in her presence.
She missed him, after all. Their distance destroyed her for so long – she’d spend the whole night watching him sleep if it wasn’t such a creepy thought.
Nothing could break the deafening silence, it was serene.
The faint flicker of a slowly dying lamp buzzed beside them, faintly flashing in desperation due to its owner’s negligence. Coiny was never bothered by it.
Pin found it irritating, but obviously it couldn’t be further from the biggest thing on her mind right now. So long as she was being cradled like this she could dismiss anything that would normally bother her. She was entranced.
Though the silence was so placid that it began feeling abnormal.
Pin’s thoughts were the loudest thing in the room. She’s quite antsy about indulging in her thoughts around Coiny. The last thing she wants is for him to peek into her mind like old times. He wasn’t a super intrusive guy, though if anyone were to feel entitled to knowing what bothered her, it would be Coiny. Whether that is due to adoration for her or just pure nosiness was unbeknownst to her.
There was still a looming sense of hesitancy despite it all.
Right now, he seemed out of it. Looking down at him, Pin could barely tell whether he was asleep already or just smiling there awake, looking dumb. Her heart ached seeing him so at peace, a feeling that she had missed after all the TPOT drama.
Despite being right where she’d wanted to be for months, years – after all the hell that reigned upon her and the other contestants, she couldn’t help but think about what came before.
TPOT was a dense topic in her mind. Being rather disconnected from most of her previous team's members, she was left alone quite a lot. Alone with her many thoughts. It led to many ideas plaguing her head for months, a sting of apprehension.
Inadequacy was her greatest fear and the outlook on her performance damned her. She was there to watch the world crumble apart before her very eyes… She couldn’t help but reflect.
“Hm.” She leaned forward. Her body was practically on top of his at this point, bundled in his arms pressing her into him as he laid flat.
“Mmmm… What's up?” His eyes peeked open, disturbed from the thrum of his own thoughts.
“While you’ve been here, have you thought about TPOT much?”
“Hm. Yeah, every now and then.”
“What about our team?” Pin softly uttered.
“Team8s was cool.” One arm slinked away from Pin as Coiny shuffled backwards just an inch, propping himself up by his elbow. “Not W.O.A.H. Bunch cool though. But I do miss it.” He playfully winked.
Always finding a way to praise the old Bunch. Very Coiny of him to do.
Pin nodded. “Come to think of it, you were like a leader to Team8s.”
The comment seemed off coming from Pin, she was praising someone else's leadership for once. That’s new, but he didn’t think too hard about it. Who’s he to say no to praise?
“Mmm” He leaned back into his pillow, tired.
“It’s true. I feel like I was the co-captain. You always took charge.”
Coiny’s head hovered above the pillow again. “...Wait, you’re being serious?”
“Yeah. I don’t know, it was nice watching you take initiative over me. You’re kind of a natural born leader, you know.” Her body tilted limp, leaning into his anchored arm holding her.
Coiny smirked. “Pff. Really, you think so? That’s real flattering coming from you.”
“Yeah. you have a knack for knowing who’s right for the job.”
She paused in thought. This could be a good conclusion to their small talk. Her eyes traced the outline of his body and then trailed above his bedframe. She leaned as far back as she could while still being held by Coiny. Her eyes caught a gaze of the various memorabilia around his room. Coiny sure loved nostalgia.
Her focus dwindled, there was something she was struggling to address.
Pin’s voice dulled. “...I’m not sure if I even have that skill.”
“Gahaha, don’t doubt yourself, Pin. You’re an awesome leader. Seriously.”
She continued to stare off to the side. “You’re not denying it. It takes a certain drive and ingenuity to be a leader. You have it.”
“I could never see myself as a MAIN leader or anything.” He can’t help but softly laugh at the mere thought of it. “I prefer a… co-leader role. To be a right hand man. Second in command! …co-captain, if you will” He playfully nodded his head back into hers.
“Yeah but… you’re great at being in charge. Um. Maybe better than I am.” Her eyes zoned out and off to the side again.
The anvil finally dropped. She felt so silly suddenly caring about this stuff, the heroic leader Pin doubting her leadership capabilities? Unheard of! Pin failed to even look him directly in the eyes, she knew he’d find this talk coming from her completely outlandish.
And she was right.
“WHAAAAAAT?!” He jumped at the thought of it, clacking their heads together “ACK, I- don’t say that. No one could be a better leader than YOU, Pin!”
She was knocked back by their collision. Although she was expecting a defensive response, she was still taken aback by how concerned he sounded. Her hand rubbed her temple as she recollected herself.
“Who am I even talking to right now?! The real Pin would pride herself in her AWESOME leadership capabilities.” His voice dipped low with great emphasis on the awesome part.
Coiny always loved to describe her as awesome… brave… talented… all of the sort. There was never an ill moment where he wasn’t constantly uplifting her. Praising her. She admired it, she fed off of it. Pin never received this affirmation from anyone else, but it was difficult for these compliments to hold weight in her mind knowing they weren’t rare coming from him.
He shook his head. “Who is this imposter?”
“Ha-ha. You’re just buttering me up because you’re Coiny.”
“No, no- I'm serious. DEAD serious. No one can do what you do. Your ability to instantly take the lead… your strength, your wit- AUGHH it’s so powerful, Pin! I could never top that.” He valiantly protested.
Though he could sense that wasn’t enough. Maybe one of his usual Coiny speeches could do the trick this time? He’d have to search for the right words though.
“Hey, HEY!” He snapped his fingers. He noticed her zoning out again, that same dreary look of self doubt in her eyes. Not that he could catch a great look at them… It was like she was allergic to looking at him right now. “Don’t forget your roots! Especially in BFD- Uh.”
There was zero hesitation to halt and choose his next words carefully. His voice lowered briefly.
“The season that shall not be named… You’ve been such a great leader in the past. Why can’tcha see that now?”
“I don’t think I want to remember my ‘leadership’ THAT season, please…”
“Right, right. Hm.”
“...I can't help but feel like you can do everything I'm good at, but better… with less experience too, might I add…” She gulped, leaning back. “I dunno.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit.”
“I think you give me TOO MUCH credit.”
“OK, well, if THAT season’s off the table, what about after I was eliminated, huh?” He nudges her. They spent the entire day sharing stories of when they were apart, it was time for him to capitalize on all his new Death PACT knowledge. “You said those Death Pacters took you in as their leader! I bet you nailed thaaat~” His voice playfully dragged.
“Honestly, Fanny was more of a leader than me. I think I lacked history on that team to really understand how to lead those guys. Not to mention how I reacted during…” She stopped. There was no world where she’d wish to remember the whole universe ending part of TPOT.
She couldn’t help but dwell on it though. How hopeless she acted… Seeking comfort in someone she barely even knew. Even breaking down crying in front of them when the numbers rang fresh for her elimination. Not her best performance.
Coiny could tell something was skimmed over when they discussed TPOT earlier in the day. He put a mental pin in that.
“Okay. BFB? What would’ve become of The Losers if you hadn’t stepped up? We were hopeless!” He laughed.
“You gave out the speeches. I don’t know if I really did much.”
With how much credit she gave Coiny for his public speaking, he sure was speechless in the moment.
Silence was drawn back into the room, suffocating them. Coiny’s brows furrowed as he searched for more reassurance to grasp at. It would be unlike him to leave her hanging, but he was truly stumped in the moment. He hated to see her humble herself so horribly.
What on earth happened while I was gone?
…
“Would it be wrong to say I'm jealous?” She winced.
Coiny could hear her gulp what almost sounded like bile, heavy, deep in her throat.
“...Of me?”
“I guess? I don’t know. It’s weird. I feel like I haven’t been a very valiant leader since… since…” She squinted to her side. How diminishing that she’s struggling to even think of an example. “...BFDI, I suppose.”
“WHAAAAT? You’re kidding. Pin… I–”
Coiny couldn’t help but freeze.
Seriously. What shook her this badly?
“I take back what I said earlier. I don’t think you give yourself any credit.” He lightly grazed his hand on her cheek.
She remained a statue.
No eye contact. Her eyes were fixed onto the sheets.
Words clearly aren’t the answer right now.
Coiny leaned into her, their foreheads meeting, melting into each other’s touch… all too familiar. His arms snuggly snuck over the lip of her edge, around her hips, his hands meeting behind her back as he slowly dragged her towards him. Their faces were now almost flat against each other, the top of their heads clacking together.
Pin choked being this close. They could hear the drum of each other's heartbeats clearly now, a symphony of their care for one another. Synced, they were like metronomes. It damned her, how could she be so miserable in the arms of someone so sweet?
Neither of them spoke. Coiny cradled her, eyes closed, calm. Pin’s breath softened as she lulled. They stayed like that for a few minutes.
Coiny hummed, a sort of warning that he was about to run his mouth again. “Pin, no matter how hard you doubt yourself– how much you try to paint yourself as some horrible ally… you’re still Pin at the end of the day.” His head hovered off of hers for a split moment to look at her clearer.
“And what more can someone ask for? Pin is awesome, brave and talented! The perfect combination for a heroic leader.”
There he goes again–
“Look. I can tell I’ve missed out on A LOT of things while you competed. Something blew into your confidence–” He silently grimaced. Was he being too straightforward? “–But I’m here. And we make an incredible duo. You’re an impeccable leader and I help lead from the side. I love being your right hand guy.”
Pin flushed, her eyes finally meeting him head on for the first time in a short while. “You’re my main guy.”
“Gahah…” He firmly hugged her, that gap between them shut.
Coiny lifted her gently in his hold, both falling back into his pillow. His head snuck off to her side, where he planted a sneaky but discreet kiss under her cheek. He slid back into place with a half lidded look.
Some would describe the face he pulled as punchable.
For Pin, it’s a face she’d confide her life in.