Archive of Our Own

Kaito Momota is, for all intents and purposes, his best friend. Which is weird for him to admit, because Shuichi hasn't really had one of those before.

But it's a label that he feels suits the other best. Kaito is many things to him, at this point in their lives: a friend, a trusted companion. His investigative partner (though Kaito refuses to put in the work to make that official—he insists he just likes "helping out" when he can). His rock. His "strong, unwavering hero".

He's nothing short of greatness. And he certainly lives up to that monicker of his: Luminary of the Stars. It's just as grandiose as he is. But it suits him so well.

Kaito has been his friend for three years, nine months, and eleven days in counting. He'd done the math, since Kaito didn't believe him when he said they'd "basically been friends for four years". But even if he took pride in wiping that confident look off of his face, Shuichi understood his reaction: it felt like they'd known each other for far longer than that.

He'd been there for him through so many things by this point. Moving out of his uncle's home, and into an apartment that they now share. Graduating college together, even managing to do so at the same time (Kaito through his volunteer work, and Shuichi by doubling up in his classes). Through ups and downs, highs and lows, Kaito had always been there to cheer him on.

He'd come a long way since the first day they met. Shuichi the college sophomore was... let's be honest, barely scraping by socially. If it was "the stars aligning just right" that allowed them to meet on campus one day, then he would gladly thank his lucky stars for bringing Kaito into his life. Being his "sidekick", as silly as it was, really changed him for the better. It was probably the reason he had this PI job to begin with.

Though, Kaito doesn't like attributing things like these to fate. It felt ironic, coming from the guy who called himself the "Luminary of the Stars", but it was endearing nonetheless. 

Despite being his sidekick, Shuichi finds himself forgetting at times that.. Kaito has a different life path in mind for himself. To give himself credit, he supposes it's a good thing: it proves that Kaito's influence has been a good one, and that his anxiety has improved greatly in the time they've been friends. If nothing else, he's finally stopped worrying so much about the future, the very thing that used to keep him from getting out of bed most days.

But now, it serves as the dual edged sword threatening to cut him down. Because... he forgets that Kaito doesn't actually want to do this forever. He has a date with destiny—with the stars above—and he has every intention to follow through with it.

Well, okay, he supposes it's not easy to forget such a thing; it was just the other night that they were out watching the stars, and... the way Kaito talks about the constellations, it's something that sticks with him even now.

With that fond smile, he aligns his telescope at just an angle, easily identifying Mars and Jupiter through the inky darkness of the sky. And with eyes sparkling—a feat that could rival every star in the sky overhead—he talks about how... he'll be up there someday.

Exploring the vast cosmos. Studying the great unknowns of their universe.

The future didn't scare Shuichi anymore. How could it, when the unknowns of his future hardly compared to the ever-expanding infinity of space?

But the longer he thought about it... the stronger that doubt crept into his mind. If he was truly ready to say goodbye to Kaito someday.

It's not like he'll be gone forever, though, right? Even if he talked about this trip so indefinitely... how long could someone truly stand being in space before they got homesick?

Should he ask how long he thinks he'll be gone? Kaito's usually so quick to ease his worries, maybe he would help him work through these feelings if he just asked?

These were the kinds of thoughts he found himself wrestling with now. A new variant of his old worries, coming back to bite him now that he let them go unaddressed for so long. When he thought about it like this, he felt he could break down the irrational thoughts. Sift through what was based in real worries, and.. what his nerves were blowing out of proportion.

But then.. he would tell Kaito about a case he was taking up.

And instead of asking him for the details, just as he always did, Kaito... would send him his best wishes. Informing Shuichi that he'll be at the space station all day, as part of his internship.

And there's no doubting that Kaito's serious about his efforts to get involved with this space program. It's not a matter of if he'll go to space, but when.

And ultimately, he knows he wouldn't get in Kaito's way when it came down to it. That was his dream! Who was he to get in the way of something like that?

But when he thinks about it all in the grand scheme of things—thinks about what his life will be like after that change, as selfish as it is—he just...

Just...!

"Earth to Shuichi?"

“—!”

Kaito's voice is what finally snaps him out of a spiral he didn't realize he'd started down. He takes in a shaky breath, in an effort to stable himself again.

In an instant, he remembers where he is. He and Kaito were just leaving—leaving their apartment to...

"You alright, sidekick?" Kaito asks, softer this time. He's lingering by the driver's side door of his car, looking over its shiny, blue surface at him.

In looking up from his reflection in the passenger side window, Shuichi realizes he... must've been caught up in his thoughts again. As the chattier of the two, sometimes Kaito has no problem filling the space with his thoughts. But there's a clear difference between letting Kaito speak, and.. letting Kaito carry the conversation entirely.

And Kaito wasn't so dumb as to let it go unnoticed. Shuichi knew that, and yet these moments would happen anyway.

At least they're far and fewer between by now. But he still feels guilty for letting it happen.

He offers a lopsided smile, hoping it'd be enough to ease any concerns. "Ah, um.. yeah, s-sorry. Guess I was... caught up in the case details again."

Shuichi swears he can see Kaito deliberating, considering this response, for all of two seconds. But in all the time they've spent together, he's surely gotten better at navigating these kinds of moments. Determining with great precision what was worth stopping to pick apart, what really was nothing, and what was a cover-up. 

Because in the very next second, that toothy grin of his was back again. Having clearly deemed this response adequate—either that, or it was said with enough confidence as to not set off Kaito's alarm bells—he was happy to move on. A choice that Shuichi was thankful for, ultimately.

"Well, let's get a move on then!" He cheered, wasting no time with getting into the car. "If you're already caught up in the facts like this, it sounds like you're needin' to bounce some ideas around."

Shuichi has to open up his door to hear all of what Kaito is saying, as he quickly sinks into the driver's seat and shuts the door behind him. 

But he's able to catch the gist, as he lowers himself into the passenger's seat. "You know me too well.." He admits with a small laugh.

He's relieved that, of all the cases he's taken on over the last month, Kaito was able to tag along for this one. Because the finer details are...

In a word? Perplexing.

"You got the address?" Kaito prompts, as he puts the key in the ignition, his car quickly humming to life.

"Yep," Shuichi replies. He leans forward and starts punching the address into the car's digital screen. "We're going downtown."

Kaito pretends to gag as he prepares to turn out of their driveway. "Couldn't we have done this during the day if you knew we were goin' downtown?"

"I thought you didn't want someone to see us going into a 'love hotel'?" He counters.

As he finishes inputting the directions, he spares a glance at Kaito. Just in time to see his roommate struggle to contain his pout. It brings him a bit of satisfaction. But for the sake of preserving his pride, Shuichi decides to show him some mercy, and swiftly moves on.

"So, as you know, the murder of Takabi Mika occurred in the Hotel Kumanami." He recalls, allowing his eyes to drift to the road ahead. "The murder took place on the sixth, at approximately two in the morning.

"Takabi and her lover, Ibukuro Takeshi, were observed checking into the hotel about an hour prior to her death. According to witness accounts, the door to their room was opened at some point. A member of hotel staff, as per their policy, would shut the door on the couple's behalf, as the room's soundproofing is useless if the door is left open."

"Uh huh..." Kaito mumbles thoughtfully.

"This is important because, according to this same witness—the one who shut the door for the couple?—they reported that Ibukuro sounded.. like he was under some kind of duress."

"Was he angry?"

"Maybe so. The argument sounded intense, if nothing else."

"So.. it was a couple's spat that turned deadly?" Kaito mused.

"That very well could be the case."

"That sounds pretty straightforward to me." He points out, freeing a hand from the steering wheel to scratch at the stubble by his chin. "Not sure what we're doin' here, then."

Shuichi finds himself shifting in his seat. He knew he'd have to explain why this case came across his desk, but... well, normally he would've gotten the opportunity for such by now. Before they'd already left for the crime scene, actually. But things were different this time: when he explained to Kaito he'd be going to investigate a murder, instead of asking for the case brief, he volunteered to tag along well before he'd learn what he was getting himself into. Which put Shuichi in a really unfortunate situation, because now he had to try and explain to Kaito why they were bothering to investigate a love hotel of all places—!

"Shuichi?"

When he looks to Kaito again, their eyes meeting by coincidence... he knows he can't hide the truth of this case. Even if he can all but predict how he'll react.

He can't say no to Kaito, not when he looks at him so earnestly.

The detective lets out a huff as he nervously fiddles with his hat. "...there's something.. unique about this case."

"Okay—?”

"But if I tell you... you'll have to promise to take it seriously."

"Shuichi, c'mon, of course I'll take it seriously."

"You promise?"

"Yeah, of course! It's a friggin' murder investigation, why wouldn't I treat it with respect?"

Shuichi makes a face. He's glad Kaito isn't looking this time.

"...okay." He stalls, pausing to clear his throat before continuing. "It's.. there's something weird about- about the hotel.

"According to my research, it's.. it's got a sort of gimmick to it."

"A gimmick?"

Shuichi nods. He's struggling to think of a way to describe it, to put it in a way that doesn't sound... clichéd.

"Apparently.. people say that- that if you pay for a certain package, it..."

They make eye contact again. Kaito's looking at him with a puzzled expression. He knows he has to bite the bullet, but he's not exactly thrilled to do it.

"...it will cause whoever you bring into the suite to share their.. ideal f-fantasy with you."

There's a brief silence that hangs in the car. Shuichi feels like it's lasting an eternity, before Kaito finally breaks it with a question.

"You mean like.. they're compelled to share it?"

Shuichi swallows hard. "No, like... it- it changes their perception of reality. Allegedly."

"No way, that's bull."

"Kaito, you promised..!" He protests, frowning at the other.

"I know, but—“ Kaito lets out a poorly-contained sigh, then shakes his head. "You mean to tell me... it's some kinda magic thing?"

"I guess? I don't know, this is all just speculation—“

"Shuichi, magic isn't real." He looks as if he's shocked he has to spell that out. Shuichi knows he doesn't mean it as an insult, so he does what he can to brush it off. "There's gotta be a better explanation for all this..!"

"That's the problem, Kaito!"

Another bout of silence falls over the car. Only interrupted when the GPS instructs Kaito to make an upcoming turn, which he does.

Shuichi uses the time to gather his thoughts again. And then.. he gives this one final attempt.

"..According to the attorney hired for Ibukuro's case—and from the statements he took from the defendant's family—the behavior he displayed was.. very out of character. They're insisting that Ibukuro wasn't himself when he murdered Takabi."

"There wasn't any... drugs involved? Alcohol? No nothin'?" Kaito asks.

"Neither showed any signs of such, no. Nothing of the sort was found in Takabi's autopsy, and all of Ibukuro's tests were clear.

"The only other avenue that wasn't tested was... the rumors about the hotel. The detective originally in charge of this case is refusing to look into the matter further, and.. I just don't think that's right. That he'd be willing to send this case to court without exploring every avenue.

"Ibukuro's family reached out to me specifically, and... I feel like I have a duty to investigate the matter." He looks to Kaito, though he doesn't mind when the eye contact isn't returned. Those familiar features become a focal point, while he drives his point home: "I wanted to tell you all this sooner—I knew you wouldn't believe it right away—but... I trust my instincts.

"Th-they haven't led me astray before, and so.. I know that I have to do this. So if you could trust me to do this—“

"I do trust you."

He said it so quickly—so sincerely—that Shuichi could only look to his friend with surprise. Not that he doesn't expect Kaito to share this sort of sentiment, but.. well, it puts some of his worried thoughts to bed. For the time being, at least.

When stopped at a stoplight, Kaito takes the time to look over at him. And the look in his eyes is one he's been given dozens of times before: it wasn't quite the passionate look he adorned when stargazing, but he swore there were stars trapped in those eyes. They sparkled with a sort of light that he just couldn't describe.

It was hard not to take Kaito at face value when he looked at him in this way.

"...man. Here I was thinkin' you'd say this was, like.. some kinda haunted hotel." He admits with a laugh.

It gets a little laugh out of him, too.

"But even if it was a haunted hotel—and even though I hate spooky shit like that... I would help you investigate that, too."

"Really?" Shuichi smiles. Because he already knows what Kaito's answer is.

"Of course! You're my sidekick, Shu! What kinda guy would I be if I let my sidekick do all that on his own??"

He laughs again, more wholeheartedly this time.

"Thank you, Kaito. I know you, like, already agreed to help me with this.. but- but I hope you know that I wouldn't put you through anything... dangerous."

"Please, you don't gotta worry about me! Nothing is too much for me to handle—I’m Kaito Momota: Luminary of the Stars!"

Kaito isn't quite singing the same tune when they pulled up to the aforementioned Hotel Kumanami.

It was probably the reality of their situation setting in. Or perhaps it was the pink glow emanating from the hotel itself, paired with the illuminated sign out front: Shuichi did see Kaito eyeing it as he parked along the curb, noticing the hotel's name plastered above a glowing orange arrow. Admittedly, the winged, LED heart sign that read "Love" in bright yellow letters... was a little on the nose. So he supposed the these things combined was the reason for Kaito's look of disgust.

But he got over it quickly, as the pair would step out on to the sidewalk towards the hotel, and find a glistening sea of stars shining overhead.

Shuichi liked to think that the pink glow of the hotel was having an effect on the sky, giving it a sort of magenta hue.

However, he was too busy appreciating Kaito's expression to make any proper observations. Not when that breathless, wide-eyed enchantment that Kaito always wore—like he was seeing the sky for the first time all over again—captivated him so. It was prettier than any other sight he'd see in the sky tonight.

"..?"

After a prolonged moment of the pair standing outside the building, Kaito's attention would drift back to Shuichi.

The detective swore he saw a change in the other's expression just now. But any efforts to pick it apart were dashed when Kaito looked over at him now. No doubt confused as to why he wasn't leading the way.

Sheepishly, Shuichi flashed him a little smile before heading towards the hotel's entrance.

(That's funny,) he thinks, (I could've sworn I saw... he almost looked..!)

This mini-investigation into Kaito's current mood would have to wait. Because Shuichi would become preoccupied with that borderline overwhelming glow as the two stepped inside. For a moment, he couldn't help wondering if they were entering through the gates of Heaven (or... a version of Heaven run by a cherub). That light only got bright, and brighter, until the scene before them was revealed, and it was...!

"..tacky."

Kaito muttered this under his breath once the pair stepped inside.

He was right, the hotel lobby was a bit.. gaudy. The primary color scheme inside was (thankfully) not the same warm pink from outside, but rather, varying shades of a respectable chocolate-brown. Accented by a white tile floor, and a panel in the ceiling where a chandelier was hung, an intricate marble design drawing the eye to the glistening chandelier. Tragically, though, there were dozens of different floral arrangements scattered round the lobby. Pinks and reds and whites, all with little heart decorations inside. Lots of roses, naturally, but Shuichi noticed some red carnations meant to break things up a bit.

It reminded him of Valentine's Day, in a way. This kind of color palette was the kind he'd see within the chocolates that'd be passed out amongst his peers in high school. Which, he had to agree, was a bit tacky. Not quite the vibe that a love hotel should be giving off.

Still, he would find himself elbowing Kaito in the side (just enough to get a small grunt of protest out of him). Because despite this, he and Kaito had to at least try to blend in with the typical clientele.

While yes, they were here for an investigation, the hotel itself didn't need to know that just yet. Not when they were here to... find out about the "magic" of the hotel.

If they were to understand the events of this murder case, they needed the authentic experience.

"I'm gonna go check in, okay?" Shuichi would look to Kaito now, searching his face for the reassurance that he was still a willing participant in this plan.

"..'kay, I'll wait over here." Kaito replies. He was still moping around a bit, clearly unamused by the setting. But when their eyes met in this moment... he would watch those lilac-colored eyes soften.

He gives a little nod of his head. An agreement to an unspoken sentiment, one that Shuichi understood right away.

He nods his head in return. And with that, he makes his way to the front desk.

From the moment the pair had stepped inside the lobby, Shuichi noticed that the receptionist was... very clearly reading some kind of magazine. Or maybe it was a book?

He wouldn't know either way, because when he approached the desk, she would peak up at him from over her oval-shaped lenses. And in the very next second, she lowered her book beneath the desk, greeting him with a polite smile.

"Good evening. What can I help you with?"

"Er.. I-I'd like to book a room for two." Shuichi answers, immediately feeling his hands grow clammy at the thought of what he was really doing.

"Alright, I'll take a look at what's available..." The receptionist trails off as she peers down at a spot beneath the counter, the clicking sound that followed establishing that she had some kind of computer in front of her. "How long will you be staying with us?"

"Just for the night." He glances over his shoulder at Kaito, automatically, but glances back when a thought crosses his mind: "Ah—um.. when's the check-out time?"

"Eight AM." She replies diligently.

(Earlier than I'd like to wake up on a weekend..) He thinks, (But that won't be a problem for Kaito. I'll just.. have him wake me up, if we end up staying.)

Which, admittedly, a part of him was tempted to do so: love hotel or no, he was still paying for a room. A part of him was starting to feel guilty at the prospect of letting that go to waste. But Kaito might not be as receptive to that idea...

"Alright, aand.. what package will you like for your stay?"

"Um... I-I'd like a normal room, if you please. But..."

He has to fight the urge not to look over at Kaito again. It's not like he needs him to offer encouragement in this moment, but a part of him wishes he was talking to the receptionist instead. Old, socially-anxious habits die hard...

"..I-I'd like to buy the Key of Love, if.. if that's available." He added in a low mutter.

He would watch as the receptionist leaned forward, no doubt an effort to hear him better. Which. Oh god, he could drop dead right now. But in the process, he did manage to catch the light glistening off of a name tag pinned to her shirt.

(Tsumugi... I don't recall seeing her name anywhere in the report. She must not have been working the night of the murder.)

Well, he's glad that something useful came of him embarrassing himself like this.

"Sure thing!" Tsumugi chirps. She types a few more things into the invisible keyboard behind the counter, then looks back up to him with another smile. "That'll be fifteen-hundred yen please."

(That all...? Good thing I have my company card, though I don't feel very good about using it..)

He retrieves his wallet from his pants pocket, begrudgingly handing over a blue card from within.

Tsumugi takes it without pause, and looks down under the desk once again as the transaction is being processed.

Shuichi wonders if now is the right time to make small talk. Then immediately decides against it, instead staring down at the marbled tiles beneath his feet.

"Everything ok over here?"

Shuichi nearly leaps ten feet into the air when he hears Kaito's voice over his shoulder.

"Ah! Um, I-I mean, yes!" He squeaks out in reply, trying (and failing) to flash Kaito a smile to convince him of as much. "Yes, I'm.. just paying now."

Kaito takes a second to process whatever face he's making right now. He looks like he wants to say something, but—

"Alright, you're all set!" Tsumugi interrupts, smiling at Shuichi again—almost like she didn't see Kaito there with him—as she places his card, along with the receipt she wrapped around it, on the counter. "Here is that for you,"

Shuichi mutters a quick thank you as he slips the card back into his wallet.

"And here is this for you."

He looks up again to find a golden key in her hands.

But then again.. the blade of the key made him question that fact. It felt more ornamental than anything. Why was it so high up on the key? Did this actually unlock a door? And that gemstone was certainly striking—it appeared to be some kind of ruby, but was it a genuine crystal, adorning the center of the key's heart-shape?

"You'll be in room 2B. Enjoy your stay!" She chirped.

Kaito must've been watching Shuichi stare at the key like a fish out of water, because he would go on to finally take the reins of this interaction, offering Tsumugi a smile as he took the key. "Thanks, we will—“

"Oh! I almost forgot." Suddenly looking just as startled as he felt, Shuichi would watch Tsumugi go rifling through the things at her desk. Then, half-rising from her chair, she held out a small slip of paper for Shuichi. "Here. It goes with the key."

She offered it with a sheepish smile. Something about that.. humanized her a little bit. Between that and whatever she was reading before, Shuichi felt... a little less awkward about this interaction.

He returned her smile (just as awkward, but no less appreciative) as he took the paper.

With that, he let Kaito take the lead.

He didn't bother looking at the paper until he knew they were out of immediate eyeshot from Tsumugi, where his poor face would finally start to recover from his flushing—

"S'matter, Shuichi?" Kaito went on to ask, stopping only for a short moment, before a pair of elevators, and a set of stairs.

"N-nothing, why do you ask?" He replied, ignoring the urge to fan his face with the paper from earlier.

"You're all red."

"Oh.. ah..." Shuichi stammers.

Kaito pauses long enough to choose the stairs over the elevator. A very Kaito-decision to make. But he was used to that by now.

With a playful grin tossed over his shoulder, he adds: "You embarrassed to book a love hotel stay with me?"

"Kaito, please..."

He fights the urge to pull his gray cardigan over his face as Kaito laughs. Really, now, this was a work matter. It was hardly.. thrilling or exciting for him to be here.

Thankfully, he spares him from any further teasing. They make their way up the stairs in a shared silence.

"Sucks we can't get any clues about the murder while we're here.." Kaito thinks aloud, having enough forethought to speak in a quieter tone, just in case. "Would'a been long cleaned up by now, huh?"

Shuichi lets out a short hum in reply, his attention wrapped in the text on the slip of paper.

Kaito slows his pace to more of a trudge as he looks over his shoulder again, eventually falling back enough to walk beside the other. "What's that about?"

"Oh, it's..." Shuichi furrows his brow slightly, not that Kaito could see it at this angle, thanks to the brim of his hat getting in the way. "..it's about the key."

"Oh yeah?" Kaito tilts his head curiously, trying to catch a glimpse of the paper.

"Apparently... this is what makes the magic happen."

In an instant, any amusement falls from Kaito's face. Like he'd somehow forgotten about that mechanic, and Shuichi had just reminded him (which probably wasn't that far off). "This again, huh... well, what's it sayin'?"

"It says.. 'in your hands is the key to your lover's heart. Unlock with care, as the dream you share will only end happily if you open the right doors'."

Shuichi looks up to Kaito after reading this passage. Finding that he's stopped in his tracks, a sort of.. sour look settling on his face.

He can't help how he frowns in reply. "If you're having doubts about doing this with me..." He begins.

But Kaito doesn't give him the chance to finish. Quickly, he shakes his head. "No, it's not that..."

"Then what, Kaito?" Shuichi insists. He takes half a step forward, mostly to bring himself closer to their designated door, which Kaito had stopped in front of. But also so he could ensure, in no uncertain terms, that Kaito knew he was standing his ground here. "I don't want you to force yourself to do this for me."

Kaito winces. The hallway they found themself in kept the lights at a dim setting, but there were LED strips in the walls around them, casting a soft, pink glow over his face. Allowing Shuichi to see the troubled look settling in, his forehead creasing as he contemplated his answer.

"I... I-I'm just.. realizing what we're gettin' ourselves into here, I guess." He admits quietly.

Shuichi's eyebrows shoot upward with the realization.

He recalls an offhanded comment Kaito made in the car, about how he feared they'd be exploring a haunted hotel. Kaito had a very prominent fear of ghosts, a fact that Shuichi couldn't forget if he tried. Which was funny, since he would insist up and down that such a thing didn't exist. Which, by extension, likely meant the fear stemmed from not wanting to be proven wrong.

So if what he experienced now was at all similar...

Shuichi, after pausing for a moment or so, found himself reaching for Kaito's upper arm. Kaito would jump a bit, but made no attempt to pull away.

"Hey... remember what I said? I wouldn't be putting you through this if I didn't think it was safe."

"I know..." Kaito mumbles, refusing to meet his gaze in this moment.

"And... I trust you with whatever will happen inside here."

This seemed to catch his attention, as those lilac eyes drifting back to him again in no time. A sort of.. hopeful gleam illuminating them now, though Shuichi can't place why that is.

Especially as its contrasted by the still-prominent furrow of his brow. He tightened his grip on the key in his hand.

"I.. I know." He replied, almost in a whisper. "I trust you too."

"Then what's bothering you?" He whispered in return.

When Kaito doesn't reply right away, Shuichi gives his arm a light squeeze. He shuts his eyes for a moment after, then gives his reply.

"...I'm- I'm still worried.. about what might happen. Assumin' that... that I'm the one whose..."

Shuichi finds himself glancing at the door. Then, find himself needing to ask a clarifying question: "I wouldn't do anything in there without your consent, if—“

"Jesus Christ—!” Kaito exclaims in a whisper-shout. He almost jerks his arm back from Shuichi's grasp, which startles him too.

But then, even in the low light, he's able to make out the rosy color dusting across his cheeks. Something about that.. fills him with a bit of pride. But he knows now's hardly the time to show it.

"No, Shuichi, that's not..!" Kaito sort of laughs, and it sounds like he means to use it to break up the tension in the air. Then, he shakes his head.

"When.. you read the paper. It- it sounds like... geez, it sounds like you're gonna, like.. find out my deepest secrets or somethin'...!"

"And.. you're worried about that." Shuichi wanted to confirm. Thankfully, Kaito would nod in reply, albeit reluctantly. "Are you worried about.. me, specifically, learning those secrets?"

Kaito doesn't reply. But he does meet his eyes again, and... there's a new sort of glimmer in them now. A troubled look, one that he isn't quite used to seeing from him before.

But it doesn't last. Because suddenly, Kaito's shaking his head again, taking half a step backwards to free himself from Shuichi's hold. He doesn't fight back, wanting to give him plenty of room as he worked out his thoughts.

"God, some hero I am..." He muttered, using his free hand to tightly grip his opposite sleeve. "I can't even suck it up and go inside... and 'cause of what, some magic??"

"Hey, it's not like that.." Shuichi frowns.

"What else could it be?!" Kaito snaps.

Shuichi jumps at the sudden change in volume. Kaito notices, and a pang of regret ripples across his face. He puffs out a heavy sigh, and nearly turns his back on him out of shame.

But Shuichi, thinking quick on his feet, reaches out and takes his hand. Stopping him in his tracks.

Kaito looks back at him now, a mixture of pain and defeat in his face.

And he can't lie... that surprises him. It's such a stark difference from what he's used to seeing from Kaito. He's used to smiles, smiles shining as bright as the sun itself. Or those hardened looks, ones that—even if coming from a place of anger—always stemmed from his intense passion.

Kaito Momota was a powerful force. He always had been, shining brilliantly in his mind for this very reason.

Seeing him like this, then, was...

Involuntarily, Shuichi gently squeezes his hand.

"Kaito..." He utters, just loud enough for the other to hear. "You're no less of a hero to me for this. For.. being afraid of opening up."

Kaito winces. But Shuichi doesn't let it interrupt his momentum.

"If anything, you're more of a hero to me now. Because... you were willing to shove those fears aside on my behalf. Putting others before yourself... it's very selfless."

He knows it's something he needs to hear. He can tell as his face finally starts to soften up.

"But..." Shuichi continues, looking up at him now with a serious look. "...even heroes have their faults. And it's not a sign of weakness to have faults. Everyone has them."

"But—” Kaito tries to interject.

"You can't overcome your weaknesses by avoiding them, Kaito." He interrupts. "Sometimes... you'll find yourself needing a little help in that regard. And that's okay."

(Like you did for me.) He thinks. (I would be honored to return the favor.)

Kaito's suddenly squeezing his hand in return. It would've startled him if he didn't look down in that moment, confirming the sensation with his eyes. But his attention didn't stray here for long.

"..you're... sure you won't think any less of me? If- if you.. learn something you don't like?"

Something inside of him shatters in this moment. Poor Kaito... this heartbroken look in his eyes threatens to ruin any and all resolve. He feels an urge to give up on this whole thing, if it means consoling Kaito from whatever demons seem to be plaguing him now.

Because truly... he wouldn't have ever guessed someone like Kaito would have them. And a part of him is still reeling from that.

But the rest of him.. is compelled by the desire to press forward anyway.

Shuichi promptly pockets the note, now using both his hands to hold Kaito's.

"I promise." He whispers. "You will always be my hero, Kaito. That's not going to change."

He's able to watch in real time as this information washes over him. A wave of relief clearing away some of that doubt from his face.

And then, slowly but surely.. his face softens again.

Kaito takes a deep breath. Then, their eyes meet once more... as he places the golden key into his hands.

"...alright. I'm trusting you, Shuichi. With whatever may or may not happen with this key."

Shuichi finds the willpower to offer him a little smile. "Thank you for trusting me. I'll.. unlock you with care. Er, I mean, your heart—I think it's implying th-that I'll...!"

For the first time since their arrival, Kaito lets out a laugh. It's hearty, and it's unrestricted, and so very him. And it clears away any nervousness he was feeling up to this point.

Kaito adorns a fond smile while shaking his head at him. "Let's just get this over with."

Having been given his permission, Shuichi's attention is turned to the door. A gold, ornamental lock glistens in the light of the LEDs. Made of the same material as the gilded key, no doubt.

As he stares at the key in his hand, his mind starts swimming. Processing what he was about to do.

(We're assuming Kaito will be the one in the position of "shared fantasy", but.. maybe it's random. What if I open the door, but in the end...)

He manages to catch his reflection in the deep red of the ruby. Somehow, he knows this won't be the case.

With growing resolve, he turns his gaze back to the lock. He swallows hard.

(I'll play the role of Kaito's "ideal"...) Something about that makes him shudder involuntarily. (I already promised to take care of his heart, no matter the form it presents itself to me. But now that I'm here, I can't help but wonder... what on earth would he have in mind?)

He can feel the clammy sensation in his hands returning as he brings the key to the lock. It slides into the slot with great ease, as if the Key of Love were waiting for this very moment.

And it's overwhelming, in a way. The anticipation. Knowing that Kaito was no doubt watching him now. Both holding their breath, waiting for any signs of change within one another.

But once the key is in position, all it takes is for Shuichi to turn it once, before...

Click!

The door comes unlocked. It takes only a light tug for it to come open.

No turning back now.

Carefully, Shuichi slides the key back out of the door. And instead of giving in to his gut-instinct—the near-overwhelming urge to check on Kaito for any notable change—he steps inside. Using only the quiet sound of Kaito's footsteps as proof he were still behind him.

He decides, for his sanity's sake, to take in the scenery one baby step at a time. Which, as a natural first step, brings them to the room's genkan. Automatically, he slips off his shoes, trading them for a pair of slippers provided at a little door side table. While here, he thinks this a good place to leave the key. (I'd hate to find out how much it'd cost to replace this thing, god forbid we lose it somehow...)

Kaito's remains close by. The quiet shuffling behind him remains in one place: Shuichi's mind conjures the image of his friend struggling with his shoes.

It brings a little smile to his face. But it's not enough to distract from how fast his heart is already racing. There's.. a sort of tension in the air, he can feel it. Only getting worse the longer the silence hangs above them.

While fidgeting with the brim of his hat, Shuichi takes the lead and steps into the room. At a cursory glance, there's nothing that immediately sets of any alarm bells: he glances to his right, finding a bathroom. And when he flicks on the light switch, an absolutely luxurious looking bathtub is waiting for him. When he thinks of the dingy little tub in their two-bedroom apartment, he could practically cry.

But, when remembering the task at hand, he swiftly puts this out of his mind (maybe to come back to later, if there's time). 

Unfortunately... this is where things start to deviate from what's typical of a hotel bedroom.

As one might expect, the room's most prominent feature is the bed. And it's a huge one, at that. Its circular shape is deceiving—Shuichi can tell right away that it'd very comfortably fit the two of them. 

He steps up to the bed with growing curiosity, eyes naturally tracing the silky, cream-colored drapes that were hung between (fake) marble pillars. Next, he would admire the large, gilded chandelier with red accents. One might wonder about the structural integrity of a chandelier hanging above a bed of all things. But after observing it for a few moments more, he could safely deduce that it'd hold just fine.

But then, of course, was the elephant in the room: a faint humming sound he previously observed, which he once dismissed as some kind of heating/cooling system, was quickly revealed to be... some kind of porcelain horse. Like one you'd find on a merry-go-round. It circled the bed on some kind of track, thankfully going slow enough to curb any worries of injury. That would make for a less than romantic night.

(And to top it all off... the headboard is a heart.) He couldn't help cringing a little as he stepped up to the raised platform, bringing himself to the edge of the bed so he might observe the golden orbs that outlined the headboard. He didn't need to touch the heart's surface to know it was some kind of red felt. 

"And we thought the lobby was tacky..." Shuichi muttered. He'd find himself stepping down from the platform, briefly noting the horse's location out his peripherals as he stepped to the bed-area's rightmost side. "I mean seriously, we both know these curtains aren't here for privacy..."

It was unlikely that this "arena" was set up right next to their hotel room's window, so he found himself puzzled by the choice to leave this part of the drapes drawn shut.

...that is, until he attempted to pull them back.

His eyes went as wide as saucers. (A-are those... whips?  And chains?)

He was helpless to stop his jaw from falling open in horror. (And those are... oh boy..!)

Ice cold horror turned to burning embarrassment in a matter of seconds. Shuichi would waste no time in pulling the drapes shut again.

"U-um.. hey, let's leave these curtains closed, alright, Kaito?" He called over his shoulder, punctuating the words with an airy laugh.

. . . . . .

"...Kaito?"

"Heh, I'm surprised you didn't run off with your tail between your legs!"

"Huh?"

Finally, Shuichi would find himself turning around. He would find Kaito a few short paces into the hotel room, like he'd started following along before stopping in place.

Kaito seemed... different, all of a sudden. The energy he exuded wasn't wholly unfamiliar to him now—at a glance, with the way he stood there, hands on his hips... it reminded him of their game nights. Kaito was a terribly sore loser at times, so if his heart was set on besting him, the competitiveness he tapped into got intense.

And judging by the look in his eyes... Shuichi knew this was the side of his friend that he was seeing right now.

But it'd all but come out of nowhere. So when Kaito took a couple slow, confident steps in his direction, his lapse of memory made the confusion cloud his better judgement.

"We've got ninety-nine wins each, now.." He continued, clenching one of his fists in front of him. "So this'll decide the true winner."

When he stopped, Kaito was standing a few mere feet away. But even so, with such an intense energy radiating from him now, Shuichi almost struggled to catch his breath. It felt like the room got smaller somehow. Especially so when Kaito, with that look of passion burning in his eyes, exclaimed: "Now: let's end this!"

"Wait, wh-what!?"

"Startled" was the best adjective he had to describe this feeling. Everything was moving so fast—it felt like he'd been thrown straight into a movie, some sort of action movie that he hadn't seen. And here he was, right in the middle of a scene!

But then, somehow, his attention was brought back to the bed. Maybe in this rapid moment of realization, the metal purr of the porcelain horse snapped him out of his thoughts. In any case, it felt like being tapped on the shoulder, a voice whispering to him "hey, it's okay, this is just an act".

And that.. was all he needed to get his head straightened on again.

(Okay, I need to think... so THIS is what Kaito had in mind for us here..?) He would finally look back to Kaito now, and with their growing proximity, he would find himself needing to look up a bit to meet those lilac eyes. (What kind of role do I play in this fantasy? Answering that question will be the key to all of this.)

Well, he supposes it wouldn't hurt to ask, right? Perhaps not outright, because that would ruin the illusion for Kaito. But, as a detective, sometimes that was his first instinct.

"Ah, um.." He stalls, finding himself breaking out into a nervous smile. If this were an audition for some kind of movie role, he could tell he wouldn't be getting a call back. "We have ninety-nine wins, you say? Were we.. in some kind of competition?"

Shuichi can't help but wince at how uncertain he sounds. But miraculously, Kaito doesn't notice it: he finds himself donning a sort of half-smile.

"What, are you lookin' back on things before the final battle?"

Though he seems a bit confused, he ultimately decides to humor him. Shuichi would watch as Kaito's face changes again, that fiery look in his eyes returning as he looks out towards the room. He waves one of his hands through the air in a broad gesture. "The first time we met... it was in the sky." He sends an approving look to a horizon line that Shuichi doesn't see.

"The sky..." Shuichi echoes. Something about his earlier comparison—how he felt they were auditioning for some movie role together—resonates as Kaito sets the scene.

He observes as Kaito hits a closed fist against his chest. "I'm Kaito Momota! Luminary of the Stars! I decided that before I enter the vast universe, I'd conquer the blue sky..."

Of course. Kaito had done a bit of piloting while he was in college—Shuichi can recall a handful of the extravagant stories he'd tell about those days. The thrill he got from being in the air...

Since Kaito still had yet to go up into space for the first time, that must be what his mind pulled from instead. 

And... he supposes that Kaito's imagining him as some kind of fellow-pilot. A guess that's quickly proven correct as he continues:

"And there you were!" He's clenching his first again, shaking it in front of his face. "We didn't even know each other's names during our first airplane race. It was the beginning of a heated battle over who was the fastest and coolest. But..."

Shuichi finds their eyes meeting. And for a moment, Kaito's mannerisms slip back into something more familiar; there's a kind of fondness in the smile he gives him now. "I never dreamed that our battle would last this long."

Something about that sentiment makes his heart skip. He chalks it up to the unexpected change in Kaito's demeanor: as he steps a little closer, it feel more natural. More familiar.

"Ah.. so this next race is the decider. The winner takes all." Shuichi observes. Something about that sentiment makes his stomach twist, like he can finally see himself alongside Kaito in the fantasy. Though, he feels just as underprepared for such a feat as he did two seconds prior..

"Pretty much." Kaito confirms. "There's no more extra innings, you got that?"

Shuichi nods. He's expecting more pushback—because in an instant, he's reminded of their "training sessions". Where Kaito would encourage him to work on his physical health, as means of fixing his mental health.

But when he looks to him again.. Kaito isn't meeting this eyes. He seems to stare off into the distance, a troubled look taking over those features he so-admired. Then, he nervously scratches at the back of his neck.

"Yeah..." He mutters, "This is it." Said like he's trying to build back up his energy from before. But he struggles to ignite that burning flame, like a match that just won't take.

"Kaito?" Shuichi tilts his head at him, mirroring his frown. "Is... something wrong?"

"It's just..." Kaito's looking at the floor now. Suddenly, he seems troubled. "Honestly, I feel like it's a waste to put an end to our fight. I wish these days could last forever.. y'know?"

(If we kept racing forever..?) His heart skips again. It almost scares him, in a way—it's a similar sentiment to one he felt earlier. One that he'd been stewing on for months. Seeing Kaito's subconscious tap into that same feeling all of a sudden is... startling.

But seeing Kaito's resolve dwindling strengthens something in him. (I'm sure some races would be fun, others bad... but somehow, I know that.. we would always enjoy them. Together.)

He decides not to question this line of thinking, trusting it to be the response Kaito's needing to hear. So, when he's talking again, he finds a smile effortlessly playing at his lips. "I.. feel the same way, Kaito. I love flying with you."

Kaito returns the gesture, gentle, yet just as affectionate. "It's like, even though we're rivals, our hearts are one. I like that."

Then, his smile turns into something he's seen dozens of times: it becomes a toothy smile as he makes a heartfelt declaration: "But.. one way or another, this has gotta come to an end. This sky we flew together wasn't so bad... but my true destiny's the universe!"

"Yeah.. you're right, Kaito." He replies, and it's almost automatic. Because he knows it to be true, Kaito's parroted this very sentiment dozens upon dozens of times. He doesn't question what Kaito's feeling, especially here.

But it's like Kaito was hoping to hear him say something different. Turning on a dime, Kaito finally finds that fiery look from earlier. "What's up with you? Where's your fire, man?!"

He takes an assertive step forward. Shuichi, on instinct, steps back.

"This is gonna be our final race," Kaito shouts, "so come at me with everything you've got!"

"Y-yeah, right!" He squeaks out, unable to help how his face defaults to a nervous smile. Especially as Kaito forces him to take another couple steps back. "It's just, that.. ah..."

(I don't know how to show the proper enthusiasm here. It's not as if we can actually fly...)

"No, you don't get it!"

"Wha—?”

His eyes grow wide as he suddenly bumps into the wall. Shuichi was only afforded a quick moment to look at this side of the room earlier—it had a flat screen TV mounted to it, with a strip of LED lights attached to the back. They were automatically set to a low, white light.

But he could hardly appreciate that now, not as Kaito stepped impossibly closer. His presence was overwhelming.

"Are you really gonna go into our final race like THAT?!"

He yells, punctuating his question by slamming his palm into the wall beside Shuichi's head. He, in turn, flinches at the sound.

But what's scarier than this intense moment—a moment where he's almost convinced he's pissed Kaito off—is that unyielding stare.

Kaito stares down at him now, a fire in his eyes that he can't quite recognize. It's mixing with so many different emotions, ones that he's not used to Kaito letting him see.

But more than that... Kaito's staring at him now.

Their proximity quickly makes it feel like he's peering deep into his soul. Like he could find the answers he's looking for in the detective's heart, and pluck them right out if he tried.

"What's the matter?" Kaito growls, "Where's that determined look of yours?"

"Kaito, you..."

His breaths were warm. Quick, almost erratic. They fan his face due to their proximity.

Shuichi can feel his heart pounding in ears, making it difficult to think. And worse yet, Kaito just won't look away from him.. he KNOWS he struggles with prolonged eye contact...!

In a desperate effort to break eye contact, Shuichi finds himself glancing past Kaito to the bed.

Once again, he's reminded of where they were.

Something about that jostles him out of the moment. Face quickly flushing, Shuichi shrinks in on himself a little. Desperate to put any amount of room between them that he's able.

"Ah, Kaito!" He gasps, "Hey, b-back up a little..!'

"No, I'm not gonna back up!" He's yelling again. It makes Shuichi's heart lurch. "You really think I'm gonna do what you say?"

Rather than backing off, he watches Kaito lean in. Out the very corner of his eye, he notices his arm, how he goes from leaning his weight into his palm.. to resting his forearm above his head. If he leans any closer, their foreheads are bound to touch.

Shuichi has no choice but to look up at him now. He takes a shallow breath, praying his knees won't give out.

"Listen up," He says, his voice going low now. Shuichi can almost hear it in his chest, hearty and deathly serious. "Don't think for as second that I'm gonna go easy on you. I'm holding up my end of our bet—if I win, there's somethin' I gotta tell you!"

"Something... you have to tell me?" He asks in a whisper. He finds himself thankful for their proximity in this moment, purely because he's unsure he'd hear him otherwise. 

"And I'm gonna win. You hear me, Shuichi Saihara?"

(Oh my god, I can't breathe—!)

He finds his eyes darting to his lips as he says his name. It's the only other place he's able to look besides Kaito's eyes, but somehow it provides him with no reprieve.

"But we've worked too hard for you to quit on me at the last minute. The win will hardly count if you let me have it. So you better give it your all."

"I-I...!"

Then, there's a pause. Shuichi dares to meet Kaito's gaze long enough to see.. that he's searching his eyes for something. It's different this time—like the longer he's looking... the more disappointed he becomes.

Until suddenly, he backs off. Kaito probably takes two or three steps away from the wall, but it's all Shuichi needs before he's gasping for air.

(M-my head's spinning... what on earth WAS that..?)

But of course, Kaito doesn't give him the time to recover from his whiplash. Rather, he makes the feeling of vertigo worse by changing his mood on a dime yet again.

This time, Shuichi looks up just as the other falls into that disheartened energy yet again.

"Geez... you're the first." He admits. Compared to how he was yelling at him earlier, Shuichi almost finds himself straining to hear him this time around. "Nobody else has.. ever made me wanna stay in place for so long."

Yet again, Kaito's words has his heart doing flips in his chest. But it's different this time—the passion, the shouting, the smiles, the sincerity... none of it compares to this.

Somehow, his words are heavy. And when he looks out at the room—at the sky, a sky that only exists within his fantasy—he looks... lonely.

And this time, Shuichi's heart skips a beat entirely.

Because it's the same look he was wearing when he looked up at the stars earlier.

"I wanna get to the universe as fast as I can, but... I don't want this to end."

Their eyes meet yet again. Shuichi feels himself drawn in to those eyes like a magnet, he can't find it in himself to look away.

There's a longing in Kaito's eyes now. It's something so raw, so foreign coming from Kaito that.. he feels that he's the one peering into Kaito's soul now.

And when Kaito speaks again.. it's like he's inviting him to in for a better look.

"Hey... you understand what that means. Right?"

"...."

(I know that as long as I'm here, I'm Kaito's ideal. I have no proof that he's asking ME this question, and not.. whatever version of me he's seeing right now.) His face hardens. Almost like he's clenching all the little muscles in his face. (But when he looks at me now, I feel...)

. . . .

After a long silence, Kaito's eyes trail off to the floor yet again. His shoulders slouch.

"Well... I guess you wouldn't understand. There's no way you'd feel the same."

“—!”

It's like something within him... snaps.

Moving with a mind of their own, his legs bring him next to Kaito again. Much like from before they stepped into the room, Shuichi finds himself grabbing Kaito by the wrist.

Kaito's eyebrows shoot upward. "What are you...?"

"That's so like you, Kaito." Shuichi states. He furrows his brow up at him. "You know me better than anyone else. But in the end... you're the one who sells themself short."

Surprise quickly turns to confusion as Kaito mirrors his expression. "What d'you mean by that."

For a half a second, his resolve is shaken. He's unsure if this is what that note meant with its message, but... with all the time he's lived with Kaito, Shuichi knows his tells like the back of his hand.

Sure, what he said just now was revealing, but it.. hardly compared to his subtle cues. How he looked at him with such intense longing. Like he was farther away from him than the stars themselves, and just as hard to reach.

He hides behind smiles. Always quick to dismiss, to downplay, all for the sake of considering his feelings.

And in this pretend rivalry of theirs... it's why Kaito's using this final race as the motivator. The justification to tell him what's really on his mind.

(Even in his ideal fantasy, he's worrying about what I think...) The thought makes him frown up at Kaito. (But I can use our location to my advantage.)

"the key to your lover's heart... unlock with care, as the dream you share will only end happily if you open the right doors.."

(I can see it. You're trying to open your heart up to me. But don't worry.. I'll take care of it. Just as I promised.)

And so, he lets his instincts take the wheel.

"Do you remember our forty-eighth race?" He asks, hoping to have drawn up enough confidence to play into Kaito's fantasy. "I insisted we do a rematch.. because I could tell your heart wasn't in it that day."

Kaito winces. And Shuichi isn't surprised—he's using a recent memory of theirs for reference. And it just so happens to relate... to something Shuichi's had on his mind.

"I was hoping you wouldn't bring that up..." Kaito mumbles.

"You were distracted." Shuichi continues anyway. "Your mind was somewhere else, I could tell. You raced beautifully, as you always do. But... I knew something was wrong."

In reality, they were planning to tackle a case together, much like this. But this was around the same time that Kaito was picking up more hours with his internship.

Shuichi told Kaito time and time again that he could go to the space center, if that's where he wanted to be. But Kaito insisted on maintaining the commitment to him. But ultimately... the hard decision was still weighing on his mind.

They ended the evening with dinner. A typical series of events for the pair. But Kaito was still off. And his confrontation... didn't get him very far.

"I told you that I was fine.." Kaito insists.

"But you weren't." Shuichi interrupts. "You..."

(C'mon, think of something! Think think think!)

"...y-you were still caught up on what the commander said. I knew it to be true, long before the race even started."

His boss, a supervisor at the space station, wanted Kaito to spend more time at the station. To seriously evaluate his abilities, and see how he would fit in with the team. Kaito had told him this news—he was excited to be told this—but...

Kaito's forehead creases, a familiar stubbornness flaring up: "Yeah, well... he was right to say it. I needed to hear it—I am holding myself back. If I apply myself, then I'll be set to get my license in no time."

(A telling admission. If Kaito's subconscious thinks he's holding himself back...)

Though he was talking with certainty, that glimmer of doubt was shining in his eyes again. It made him look so pained...

Giving in to the pang of empathy he felt, Shuichi stepped back instinctively. Lightly tugging on Kaito's arm, urging him to follow.

"You see it too, don't you?" Kaito continued. He was looking at him, but somehow... looking far away, at the same time. "That I.. I'd be able to graduate in no time."

Shuichi nods. Silently begging him to keep talking.

"But.. would you be on track to graduate with me at the same time?"

Shuichi's eyebrows pique. Graduating... his mind, at first, takes this in the most literal sense: they graduated college at the same time. Kaito pulled some strings, and managed to finish his work at the same time as him. Which was impressive, since Shuichi was literally doubling up on his classes. But when said in this context..

"...why are you worrying about me, Kaito?" He needed more answers. There was a piece of the puzzle still missing.

Kaito could see that too, no doubt. But in response, he sort of looked.. frustrated. His brow knitted into a tight line as he replied: "We've been rivals all this time, but still, I... I like to think I've been a good influence. Always pushing you to be better."

"And you have." Shuichi finds a smile, because even under the pretense of this fantasy, he can say this with earnest: "You've... changed me in ways that no one else ever could. You mean the world to me, Kaito."

He takes the briefest of moments to glance over his shoulder. With the new sort of weight in the air—a heavy, somber sort of tension—Shuichi thinks it best that they tackle the rest of this conversation sitting down. It might be best for Kaito that way (and if he gets any weaker in the knees, he's gonna need that too.)

But when he looks back at Kaito... he can't help but freeze.

His eyes have changed again. They're sadder now, like Shuichi had said the complete opposite of what he meant. And for a moment, he's convinced that was the case.

Kaito jerks his arm out of his grasp. He turns his head to one side, though it does little to conceal the pain in his face.

"...I want to see us both succeed. Even if I win this next race.. I don't want you to leave my side."

"Kaito, I wouldn't." He insists, his heart hurting at the insinuation that they'd ever find themselves parting. "You have my word. I would never—“

"But what if things change?!"

The change in volume makes him jump. But more than that, he's startled by the outburst, the new wave of emotion flooding out of Kaito; it's different from his anger from before, even if he sees the embers of such underneath it all. But the predominant emotion he's showing now... is remorse.

Kaito folds his arms tightly across his chest. "I can't be there for you forever. You've got a great future ahead of you, and I'm so proud of you, but... the Air Force is a different beast. What if things get too tough on you? And I'm not there to keep inspiring you? Keep pushing you to be better?"

A heavy silence hangs in the air. Shuichi doesn't have the resolve to disturb it, as he becomes wrapt in his thoughts.

(This... doesn't seem right. Kaito put us on even playing ground in his initial fantasy—I’m not his sidekick here, but... his rival. But more accurately, I'm someone who inspires him. Just.. as he inspires me.)

(Then why..? Why is he... treating me like that? Like I'm the "me" that I was back in college...?)

That stupid porcelain horse passes between them, briefly interrupting his thoughts. Since he's standing up on a higher platform than him, Shuichi’s looking down at Kaito as his roommate goes to speak again.

"Look, I... I don't say all this to talk down on ya. I know if push comes to shove, you'd... you'd be fine in the end." As he pauses, his fingers dig into the fabric of his coat. Using the tight hold to ground himself. "But I just worry about you sometimes, Shuichi, I..! I know things haven't been the same since the commander told everyone 'bout your leg injury."

(This feels significant.) Shuichi stares at Kaito's face, hoping to find the answer to his questions there. Instead, he only finds that pained look. (It's too specific to be a random element of this story. Should I be taking this literally? I haven't injured myself in any way, nothing apart from my anxiety has held me back over the years.. but even THAT has gotten so much better, thanks to Kaito.)

(But he's talking in the present tense... maybe I'm not seeing the bigger picture. The human mind works in funny ways, does whatever it can to process difficult information. Maybe his mind is mixing something up. Something that—)

Then, suddenly, the pieces connect.

"Kaito... is this about your asthma?"

"...!"

But it seems.. this was a mistake.

Kaito's standing before him as soon as he can blink, and in the next moment, his hands are grabbing at the fabric of his black cardigan. He uses this momentum to ever so slightly pick him up off his feet.

Shuichi gasps at the suddenness of this change, staring at Kaito in wide-eyed horror. "H-hey! What are you...?"

But for all of three seconds, Kaito doesn't move. He's just staring at him with a similar, wide-eyed stare. Like he can't believe what he's just heard.

Shuichi feels his blood run cold. (Wait, shit—I don't think I was supposed to say that. Did I shatter the illusion??)

It was tapping into a theory of his, if nothing else: the murder of Mika Takabi... she was with her lover in this very hotel. No doubt using this same Key of Love that he and Kaito had used. 

They must've planned to share Ibukuro's fantasy together. But if something went wrong...

It could cause erratic behavior.

Like he was seeing in Kaito right now.

"I'm gonna make it to space." Kaito insists in a low mutter. "If you think I'm gonna back out of our race at the last minute, you've got another thing coming."

"Kaito..!" Shuichi wracks his brain for anything he can say to make this right, anything to settle his nerves.

Instead, his attention is drawn to something more pressing: "Ah—Kaito, the horse, it's..!"

Kaito's grip on his cardigan only tightens.

"Kaito! Can you hear me? It’s—?!”

The horse is going to tear right through them. Not that it's going at a terribly fast pace, but with Kaito's already-fragile emotional state, he can't imagine any kind of physical injuries would make matters any better.

He needs to do something. And he needs to do it quick.

Since Kaito isn't budging, the only thing Shuichi can think to do is fight fire with fire.

He grabs the lapel of Kaito's jacket. It's one of his favorites—an old bomber jacket that he got from his grandpa. Normally he would handle such a precious piece of clothing with better care...

But instead, he yanks Kaito backwards as hard as he can.

And in an instant, the two go tumbling backwards.

Kaito lets out a startled yelp. Shuichi can only gasp.

As the two... find themselves on the bed.

Kaito's invading his space once again. Arms pinned at either side of his head.

He's pressed one of his knees into the mattress, by Shuichi's side. Closing off that side entirely, should he try to form an escape plan.

But this.. was not the case. Not when Shuichi found himself staring up into Kaito's eyes.

His hat was somewhere nearby, he could tell. But without it, there was no hiding from Kaito's gaze.

His heart pounded against his chest, beating to the tune of a nervous metronome.

And yet, he couldn't move. Couldn't get away. They were here together, and...

Shuichi would have to make things right. To unlock Kaito's heart.

. . . . .

Kaito has asthma. Well, it almost felt more accurate to say: Kaito had asthma as a kid. In all the time they've known one another, he can only recall one instance of Kaito's asthma giving him trouble. He has an inhaler—it's kept safely in their bathroom, inside the first aid kit—but it's never touched.

And yet... it seemed to be causing Kaito some troubles now. Or it seemed that it was, but.. Kaito clearly buried it down deep. Seeing as they never discussed what it meant for his future in space...

..until now.

Finally, Kaito is talking again. His face doesn't change much, but that longing returns. And.. it's making his heart ache.

"....what if the Air Force isn't all its cracked up to be?'

It seems they're back on track with Kaito's fantasy. Thank goodness. Though, with the way he's talking... it doesn't feel right to call it his "fantasy" anymore.

"What do you mean?" Shuichi whispers.

He recalls what he said earlier... "something he has to tell him".. whatever's on his heart right now, he feels that he should be the one to share it. It won't be right, otherwise.

"What if you finally get in, after all your hard work, a-and... you don't get to reach your dream?"

He hates how he's asking him this question. He wishes it didn't have to be under these pretenses—if this was weighing on his mind so terribly, then.. why couldn't they have had this conversation beyond the love hotel?

But then it hits him. He feels a jolt of panic as Kaito starts to sit up.

"God... I shouldn't be like this. You need me to keep up my end of the deal—it isn't like me to worry.." He sucks in a shaky breath. Kaito turns his head away again, but Shuichi can still see the pain lying within. "I-I need to be there for you.. I'm your partner, your rival...!"

Shuichi reaches his hand upwards, gingerly at first, then commits to touching his face with his fingertips.

They're only touching his cheek at the moment, but it's enough to make Kaito's eyes widen.

When he turns his head to face him, Shuichi's able to properly reach his hand out the rest of the way. Gently resting his palm on his cheek.

"Kaito." He utters, almost on the end of an exhale. His face more serious than ever before. "I.. didn't know you felt this way."

The admission seems to scare him a bit. Kaito doesn't move, doesn't dare react further. He just sort of.. watches him.

But Shuichi doesn't let this deter him. Cautiously, he rubs his thumb along his cheekbone. Noting the chiseled feature, yet how his skin is soft to the touch.

"...thank you for trusting me with that. I-I know that.. it couldn't have been hard to admit."

This is when something within him finally stirs. It's the smallest change—something only the eye of a detective could spot—but Kaito's features... soften a little. Giving way to a pained look just underneath the surface.

But it's not the only place that Kaito's carrying this tension. He can feel it in the mattress—he's so stiff. 

Shuichi knows what he has to do. He's going to take care of his heart, just as he promised.

"I... I'm glad you finally told me. I didn't realize you.. were so worried. About my injury."

Funnily enough, when he said it now, it felt like it took on two meanings. It literally applied to Kaito's condition—a projection of his mind, as it was easier to see him struggling with something, and not the other way around—but it was.. still a worry he felt about Shuichi. No doubt a worry for that.. that persona he so often put on.

The façade of someone who "could reach the stars if he just put his mind to it". But... reality sometimes has other plans. And Kaito knows it. That's what scares him the most, no doubt.

But telling that to Shuichi would be like accepting that as fact. And it.. was something Kaito would rather die than come to terms with.

Kaito immediately proves this to be correct: he lightly shakes his head. "I wasn't supposed t-to tell you..."

"Why not?" He gently prods.

"Because, I... I-I'm supposed to be...!"

It's Shuichi's turn to shake his head. Then, his other hand rests on his cheek. Kaito's body betrays him in this moment—though his face remains stiff and pained, Shuichi watches him lean into the touch.

He hopes to loosen some of those creases a bit more. He slowly brings Kaito's head closer to his. Inviting him closer into his space.

"Forget about all that. None of it matters right now." He's glad Kaito makes eye contact in this moment, because it helps to drive his point home: "All that matters... is what you want."

"What I...?" Kaito whispers, looking down at him now with an almost fearful look in his eyes.

As heartbreaking as it is to see... Shuichi knows he's close to finding his answer now. He just needs to push him a littlefurther...

"You've said it before. You are capable of whatever you put your mind to. Even if it's scary, even if it's hard... if you want to achieve something, the Kaito I know will make it happen."

"Shuichi..." He whispers. He looks like he could cry. It's a look he's never seen from Kaito before.

But if it happens.. he's prepared to catch the tears when they fall. Emboldened, he rubs soothing circles into his cheek with his thumb.

"Tell me what you want right now, Kaito. Whatever you need... I want to be there to provide it for you."

“I—“

"Let me be your shoulder to lean on. Let me support you, please."

"I....!"

"Please, Kaito. Let me in.”

"I want—”

Before he can finish.. Kaito leans in the rest of the way, capturing his breath in a kiss.

Shuichi's eyes blow up wide, a jolt of surprise coursing through his veins.

But Kaito's lips, gentle, tender on his... it quickly melts away any resolve to think things through.

Something new settles in the air. Up to this point, something tense had been building, and building, and building... but now, there was a sort of release.

Shuichi.. can't quite describe it.

Yet, in this moment, he feels... right. This feels right.

His eyes slip shut. And he returns the gesture.

One of Kaito's hands finds his cheek to rest on, somewhat cupping around his head. His hands were bigger than his, fingers rough and dry. But his touch is feather light.

There's a warm sensation building in his chest. And in turn, his head grows fuzzy...

Until at one point, their lips part ever so slightly, Kaito seeming to catch his breath for a moment.

Automatically, Shuichi had moved to catch an exhale he'd released.

Kaito lets out a quiet hum. He supports his weight in a similar manner to when he pressed him against the wall, resting his forearm above his head. Leaning his weight into it.

He's pulling back again, his breathing growing a bit heavier.

Shuichi finds his eyes flutter open ever so slightly. Each second the cold air touches his lips causes an ache in his chest to build. An ache only Kaito can relieve.

Inexplicably, though, he finds himself staring up at Kaito through half-lidded eyes. Watching just as he does the same. Staring down at him in a daze.

He leans back in, ever so slightly. And Shuichi has every intention to let him.

"Shuichi..." Kaito breaths.

"...!"

Something about that.. snaps him out of his daydream.

He's sitting up in an instant. The suddenness of his movements finally getting a reaction out of Kaito, who sort of stumbles as he falls on to the bed beside him.

With Kaito no longer hovering over him, Shuichi has the range to sit up all the way. He turns his body to face his friend, staring at him in wide-eyed shock.

Slowly, Kaito blinks up at him.

"...wha..?" He mutters, like he'd just been woken up from a long nap.

"Kaito, y-you..!"

Shuichi vaguely gestures to himself, then to him, and back to himself again.

Kaito makes a face at him. It's a look of pure, utter confusion.

(Oh my god, he's still not thinking clearly..! I said I wouldn't do anything without his consent, but where does this fall within that realm? Is it like when someone's drunk and they want to kiss? Should that not count as consent because they can't give clear consent when inebriated—?)

Lazily, Kaito sits up as well. He takes a long moment, while Shuichi starts to spiral through his thoughts, to sort of just... stare at him.

And Shuichi, though he's caught up in his heightened nerves, isn't so unobservant as to not see this. He finally gives him his attention, finding a nervous smile occupying his face.

"Wh-what? What's... what are you looking at?"

"...you." Kaito answers.

Shuichi could shake him right now. He doesn't, but he considers it for a moment.

Then, he watches as an easy smile starts to spread across his face. "..I feel... okay."

Shuichi's eyebrows shoot upwards. "Wha.. what do you—?”

"I-I didn't... think it would feel that way. To tell you all of that." Kaito looks down at his hands, something in his face hardening again. Stemming from a sort of concentration. "It still... m-my heart won't stop racing. But I... don't feel like the world's gonna end. Not like I did before."

Something about that is.. reassuring. Don't misunderstand, his mind is still absolutely swimming with all manner of questions and concerns. Questions about that kiss—no, kisses, oh god they kissed more than once—and what it said about the ever-changing labels of their relationship. Worries about Kaito, about if he was doing enough, if he was doing the right things.

But then... just as he always did.. Kaito swept in and put his mind at ease. Granting him a strange sort of.. moment of clarity.

It.. almost didn't matter what happened here. Because like everything else, he and Kaito would work through things like they always did. Kaito had done plenty to drive that point home in the past—it was why he could so wholeheartedly trust that now.

(I guess I... need to be that for him for a change.)

A realization that.. causes him to laugh.

It's gentle at first, easily mistaken for some kind of exhale. But then it gets louder, warranting a hand being placed over his mouth, in an effort to quiet down the noise.

"What?" Kaito asks. And with how quickly his moods have been changing tonight, Shuichi almost isn't sure what feeling is attached to his tone.

But then, their eyes meet for the umpteenth time tonight, catching him at a point where his laughter started quieting down...

..only to see a pout waiting for him.

When Shuichi starts laughing again, Kaito's pout only deepens: "What's so funny??" He complains.

Shuichi's waving his other hand now, turning his head at an angle, praying that he can reign it back in before Kaito does anything hasty.

By some stroke of good luck, he manages to stop the fit of giggles with a few measured breaths.

For once, Kaito was waiting patiently for him to stop. And in this moment, they're sort of just... looking at each other.

Perhaps they had the same question on their mind now: what now?

Miraculously, though, Shuichi feels he has the answer.

Without hesitation, he positions himself so his legs are hanging off the edge of the bed. He wordlessly slides his slippers off his feet. Thankful to still have his socks as a barrier between himself and the cold, tiled floor.

But it's hardly a concern of his, as he slides back on to the bed again, folding one leg underneath the other once he's found a place to sit beside Kaito.

Then.. it's only here that the pauses. Checking Kaito's face again. Watching it for any old memories to connect it back to.

His closest connection to this nameless emotion on Kaito's face... is Kaito's birthday party from last year. When he'd managed to get their small group of mutual friends together—a rare occurrence nowadays, between Kaede's never-ending queue of events she had to perform, and Maki's... in a word, inflexible schedule, even the four of them struggled to get together. But despite his low expectations, he'd gotten almost all of their friends together, hidden them in their apartment, and surprised Kaito when he came home from the space station.

Seeing Kaito's face when they turned the lights on... it was a lot like this moment, in a way. He was clearly caught off guard, looking at him with eyes that remained stuck to him like glue.

Then, there was a moment—a split second moment, one that only his well-trained eye could notice—where he was sort of.. grappling with this hopeful look taking over his eyes. Like he wasn't sure if it was all too good to be true, or feared he'd somehow wake up from a dream.

But back in their apartment, upon seeing all their friends together, that look lasted a mere two-to-three seconds. Before being swiftly taken over by that typical Kaito Momota-specific brand of.. unabashed joy.

Here, though?

He looked... nervous.

Hopeful, just as he described, but sort of.. sitting on the edge of his seat.

Shuichi would smile to himself at the observation. Deciding to be the confident one between the two of them, if even just for now. (Someone's gotta do it, I suppose.)

He sat himself beside Kaito now. Letting them sit within the silence of the room for a prolonged moment.

When here, he could listen for the sound of his breaths. Steady, but there was a sort of heft to them. Like he was still trying to catch his breath from a workout.

(..I'm not sure why I'm still stalling.) He thought on the end of an uneven exhale. (We were literally just kissing, so this should be...)

Ba-bump! Ba-bump! Ba-bump!

(Okay, maybe don't think about that right now..!)

Forcing himself out of his head again, Shuichi took a deep breath.. before finally bridging the space between them again. Leaning to the side just enough to rest his head on Kaito's shoulder.

He feels Kaito stiffen again under him, the muscles in his arms growing tense. But then.. he relaxes again.

Kaito moves a little, accommodating for his presence by resting an arm just behind him. Shifting his weight into this hand. Like he might reach his arm around his neck, pulling him in for a side-hug. An action that wasn't wholly foreign coming from Kaito. But instead, they remained here for a little while.

Just being near each other again... returning to something familiar. Even if the circumstances bringing them here were.. growing fuzzy.

"...you can be so.. predictable." Shuichi found himself saying. Speaking softly, as to not disturb the comfortable air they were settling into.

"Mm?" Kaito hums, a question he doesn't have to further verbalize.

"You asked why I was laughing." He answers easily. Peaking up at Kaito now, past his dark curtain of bangs, the only thing protecting him from Kaito's gaze. "I... it sometimes surprises me. How well I've come to understand you."

Even at this angle, he can tell that Kaito's pouting again, tilting his head to his right. "C'mon.." He protests, "It sounds like a bad thing when you say it like that..."

Though it does little to help his case, Shuichi is laughing softly again. But this time, he's able to channel his amusement in another way. Instead of watching Kaito's face for any further changes, he casts his gaze down to his right hand, watching as it rests in his lap.

Gently, he brushes his fingers against his knuckles. His skin has a slight, sort of rough quality to it. Shuichi mindlessly traces his fingers along, committing the feeling to memory.

"It's not a bad thing." He insists. "I'm.. glad for it."

"Y-you are?'

"Mm hm.." He hums, because he's starting to get a little lost in this gesture. Appreciative that Kaito's lifted his hand up off his lap, allowing him to hold it in his hands. To cradle it in his own. "..you said you didn't think it'd feel good. To get all that off your chest. But I... suspected that you were struggling. That it was difficult for you to tell me."

Kaito chuckles a little, but it's a rather humorless sound. "You've always been the observant type.."

A vague statement, for sure, but it confirms something Shuichi found himself wondering about; he knew not to let his guard down so easily, just because he and Kaito had found the familiarity in their dynamic again.

They were.. still in Kaito's fantasy. And there was something to be said about that, then, as that "shared fantasy" started to mirror what he'd known so well. But now was hardly the time for reflection.

Instead, he needed to take advantage of this change: how similarly they were behaving to their usual selves. And if his theory was correct, then he could get pretty close to a candid conversation with Kaito. About this fear of his, and... what it meant for the two of them.

(As long as I speak in vague enough terms...)

"..damned if you do, damned if you don't." Shuichi said. All the while, he absently pressed his thumbs into Kaito's palm. Watching how his fingers curled instinctively. "That's... how you're feeling. Isn't it?"

Finally, Kaito relaxes a little. Even if he can feel the disappointment radiating from him now, Shuichi senses he's hit the nail on the head.

Kaito doesn't reply verbally. Only humming a quiet acknowledgement as he, gingerly, rests his head against Shuichi's in return.

"You do realize that... that's something I'm all too familiar with, right? Y-you know how my brain works, Kaito—and- and how long it took me to shake the habit of thinking like that." With an uneven smile, he found himself asking: "Why.. wouldn't I understand something like that?"

The following silence is contemplative. Even without looking, Shuichi can imagine Kaito's face: set in stone, like he might turn into a statue if he held still for any longer. Troubled by the branching paths in how he should respond.

But as always, he eventually would find his words: "...I don't.. wanna change things."

"Change things?" Shuichi echoes.

"Yeah, I... I-I like how things are now." He admits in a mumble. Then, even quieter, he adds: "I don't want to.. to make things weird. I want to be the one who you.. who you look up to, when things get tough.

"When it's you n' me like that, with me leading the way like always... things aren't as scary."

As he suspected... he's able to manage his anxieties when he's the one in control. A relatable feeling, not that Kaito's realized that yet.

But clearly, Kaito needed a gentler approach if he was going to willingly be vulnerable with him. To come to him with understanding, and the same kinds of affirmations that he was so prone to giving.

(It's a good sign that he's admitting this to me here. If his subconscious is the one finally telling me this, then... he must want my help. I just need to guide him there. At a pace that feels comfortable to him.)

"But carrying all that weight yourself, Kaito, it... th-that sounds exhausting." Gently, he turned his head just so, pressing it into his toned shoulder. "Does it... ever start to feel.. like it's too much?"

Kaito takes in a shaky breath. It's more than enough to answer his question.

But then, he feels Kaito moving suddenly.

When his hand frees itself from his grasp, Shuichi doesn't stop him, sort of hovering them up in the air to ensure Kaito knows he won't invade any boundaries he's trying to set.

Instead of pulling away, though, Kaito's left hand snakes itself around his waist. And with his right, he's pulling him close to his chest.

Shuichi startles at the suddenness of the change. But it's hard to feel like he'll fall off the bed.. when Kaito's tight embrace holds him steady.

The angle is, admittedly, a little awkward. But Shuichi hardly minds. Not when he can wrap his arms around Kaito in return.

Kaito was always the type to give tight squeezes. A trait that he really came to appreciate, but... couldn't never seem to let go unnoticed. Because simultaneously, Kaito was not good with goodbyes. Thus, he always found the gesture to be quite.. sweet. It was a little glimpse of his true feelings, something that only he (and a few select others) would notice.

But this... why did it feel like this was another one of his goodbye hugs?

"I... I-I don't want to lose you, Shuichi...!" Kaito finally admits, his voice barely containing the remorse and the hurt boiling close to the surface. He buried his face into his shoulder, his words quickly sounding muffled. "If it means I gotta keep things to myself... if it means I can keep being someone you look up to, then...!"

"Kaito, please..." He shushes, wasting no time in rubbing small, soothing circles into his back.

His hold grows impossibly tighter. Were he not already breathless, Shuichi certainly would've been gasping for air by now.

"It almost makes me want to stay.." He adds, pausing only to sniffle a little. "But—but if I do, would you see me different anyway..? I-I couldn't bear that, I—!”

"Hey, hey, come on.." Shuichi doesn't want to break from the embrace—and he knows Kaito doesn't want that, either—but he makes an executive decision in this moment. After all, even if Kaito isn't entirely himself right now, he knows that... he probably wouldn't want him seeing all of this.

Because as gratifying as it is, to finally have Kaito telling him what he knew was festering beneath the surface, it.. isn't what Kaito would want.

Maybe in time, if any of this carried over into the "real world", then... he would get the chance to hold Kaito like this again.

For now, though, he needed to keep Kaito's feelings in mind. Which is why, despite the initial resistance he felt, he pulled back just enough to properly look Kaito in the eye.

To make sure he didn't lose his attention, Shuichi gently cupped his cheeks with his hands. A gesture that he could better appreciate now, as he was finally able to utilize this gesture to its full advantage... and use his thumb to swipe away a single tear before it fell past his cheek.

With watery eyes, Kaito searched his face for the answers he was now desperately searching for. And when he didn't find them right away, his lip quivered.

Oh, what a sight that was. It broke his heart into dozens and dozens of fragile pieces, but... he knew Kaito would never do this in front of anyone else. And even for this fleeting moment, he was glad it was him he trusted this vulnerable moment with.

Kaito kept his arms around him all the while, but he hardly minded. He didn't mind that he was clinging to him now. And he never would.

(I'm going to keep my promise... I'm going to keep your heart safe, Kaito.)

With every passing second, he wanted to shed a tear on his behalf; he was never really good with tears, being labeled by his uncle as a "sympathy crier". But now was hardly the time.

He swallowed hard. And then, it was time to finally return the favor to Kaito. For all the times he comforted him, just like this.

"I am not going anywhere. I know that might be hard for you to believe, but... come what may, I'll always be by your side. Even if the future seems uncertain—like anything could happen at any moment, and change what you hold so dearly—as long as I can help it, this much I can promise you."

"But..!" Kaito weakly protested.

"It's okay that you're scared, you know." He interrupted, offering him a soft (and hopefully reassuring) smile. "Do you remember what you told me, around the time that we met?"

"What I..?"

It was best to keep the finer details vague, as to not get any of Kaito's memories mixed up again. So he didn't bother filling in too many of the gaps.

"You told me that 'a little anxiety is good. It means you really care about whatever's getting you worried'. But, ah... it's good in moderation. That's.. probably the part that you're missing.

"One of my favorite things about you is that.. you've always had big dreams for your future. But in retrospect, it.. makes so much sense for you to worry about those dreams, in turn." He might've been the ultimate proprietor of "blind faith over logic", but some things can only get you so far. "It's... in a way, it's very like you, Kaito."

Kaito was sniffling again. It was almost impressive how well he was doing at keeping himself from crying, even if he could tell he really wanted to. "You... really think so?"

"Of course!" Sensing a slight shift in Kaito's emotional state, Shuichi took a risk in lowering his hands from his face. Because knowing Kaito, he suspected there was a different point of contact that he would've appreciated more. So, he rested his hands in his lap while smiling up at him. "The Kaito I know doesn't do things halfheartedly. Well, besides our training regimens. Don't think I don't notice when you're underperforming for my sake."

"Hey..." Kaito chuckled weakly. And sure enough, he would remove his hands from where they were clinging to his back. In favor of gently taking Shuichi's hands into his own. "Alright, you got me.."

"But with everything else, you never sell yourself short. Except, it seems... in the department of self-confidence."

Any traces of Kaito's smile started to falter at this observation. All but confirming this theory of his. But Shuichi wouldn't let him linger in his self-deprecation for long.

"It's... easier to focus all of your attention on others." He continued, "I would know, it's.. I-I did the same thing with you. That kind of dynamic seems to have... benefitted you just as much as me. Right?"

"Yeah... yeah, I guess so." Kaito muttered.

He didn't want to leave Kaito hanging, worrying for the conclusions his mind would jump to if he let the silence linger. Though, as he found himself gazing into those glistening lilac eyes, he'd find them shining not only from the tears, but... from a familiar, hopeful gleam. A hope—no, a faith—in him. That he would find the words to ease the ache in his chest.

Shuichi glanced down to their fingers. Partially as an excuse to break the eye contact, as he found that.. even in the best of times, that prolonged stare of Kaito's made it difficult to think.

But also, so he could watch their hands as he slowly worked to intertwine their fingers. Slotting between one another like the just sort of.. belonged. Like puzzle pieces fitting into place.

When he returned his gaze to Kaito, he could tell he felt it, too. Something in his face was softer now. And.. it was something he couldn't quite place.

Yet, it was a feeling he understood nonetheless. It elicited some kind of reaction from him—in his chest, he could feel this... warmth.

And somehow, he knew Kaito shared that feeling too.

"..I..." He began, quickly searching his mind for the right words to say, to properly put his feelings into words. His face hardened in concentration. "..I really enjoy being your sidekick, Kaito. All this time later, I-I think it... it's just how I prefer to be. To let you 'take the lead' with things. B-but it's different than before—I don't need you to shield me from my fears anymore."

He could immediately see a shift in Kaito's face, a blip of panic surfacing in those lilac eyes. Shuichi spoke in a quickened pace to combat this:

"Ah, b-but, that's not to say that I don't.. want you to support me in that way."

"...yeah?" Kaito asked in a low murmur. "You.. really mean that?"

"Of course I do." He was smiling again, though he didn't fully process why. It just.. felt right. "I may not be the same anxious kid I was when we met, but... I-I'm still terrible at talking to people. Without you, who will talk to waiters at the restaurants and diners I like to eat at? Who will answer calls from the plumber, or answer the door when we're expecting mail?"

"Anyone could do that, though..."

"But not just anyone knows me as well as you do." He countered. Though, he didn't feel quite so certain as soon as the words fell from his mouth. He briefly glanced away as he added: "Well, I know s-someone else could know me that well, but I don't.. I don't want anyone else."

Suddenly, Kaito was giving his hands a squeeze. Shuichi picked his head up in response, not quite startled, but finding himself checking Kaito's face anyway for confirmation of this sensation.

And what was waiting for him now... was a look that was finally more familiar to him. Those eyes that sparkled like the stars in the sky. Eyes that stared at the stars above with so much wonder...

..were now looking at him like he were a previously-undiscovered constellation. Like he was the most breathtaking thing in the universe.

It made his heart all but stop. He might've asked Kaito to hit his chest, as it was the only thing he could think of to get his heart started again.

But he couldn't find the words, trapped somewhere between his chest and his throat, even if he wanted to.

Because he was too caught up in the moment to interrupt it with words.

Too caught up in the way Kaito touched his cheek, his feather-light touch sending goosebumps all up and down his arms.

"I... don't want anyone else, either." Kaito uttered, so quiet that he thought he'd imagined it.

But there was no way he hadn't. The sentiment couldn't have echoed around in his mind otherwise.

And oh, he was so selfish for thinking of himself right now.

Kaito was just coming down from an emotional high—not to mention, he was still in the headspace of whatever this weird fantasy thing was, he was still struggling to wrap his head around that one, admittedly—and on top of that, what if Kaito didn't remember all of this by the time they left! What if this "magic love-fantasy spell" wore off as soon as they stepped out into the hallway again! Cleary, he was better off burying all of these weird, love-hotel-inspired feelings and never think about it again. They were here for Kaito's benefit, and hey lest we forget, they were technically here for a murder investigation first! Remember that murder investigation, Shuichi??

(...now look who's overthinking.) He could've facepalmed himself right now. (Oh, the irony.)

Finally, he was brought back to reality by none other than Kaito, otherwise known as the reason for his current dilemma.

There was a sort of nervous energy about him now, prevalent in the way he lightly traced his cheekbone with his thumb. It was very tender, and very sweet.

Especially as it was combined by the faintest smile he adorned. Like he was trying to return to old habits, but couldn't quite find that resolve.

"What... are you thinkin' about right now?" He asked. Because clearly, his prolonged silence was as obvious to Kaito as it felt to him.

And he was so foolish for thinking that here, of all places, he could maintain appearances. That Kaito wouldn't see through him, just as he always did.

Just as he saw through him now.

Somehow, after contemplating his answer for a prolonged moment, he managed to return Kaito's uncertain smile with one of his own.

"...it's technically a 'shared fantasy', right?" He asked, speaking almost under his breath, unsure even now if he wanted Kaito to hear.

"Wha..?"

(..screw it.)

Call it "giving in to the charms of the love hotel". Or maybe.. he was banking on the idea that Kaito wouldn't remember any of this come morning. So many feelings mixing together, his good reasoning becoming muddied.

It's not like he'd be able to hide this desire from Kaito here, anyway.

Which is why he only hesitated for a second—taking in the face he was wearing now, dedicating every last bit of it to memory—before he leaned in enough to capture his lips in a kiss.

"Mm..!"

Truthfully, he felt a jolt of panic when Kaito let out this little hum in surprise. A familiar surge of anxiety burned him from the insides, filling him with a scorching regret.

But then.. Kaito used the hand on his cheek to tilt his head ever so slightly. Kissing him softly, kissing him deeply.

And just like that, it all melted away. Giving way to a level of contentment that he just couldn't describe.

Just for now, he could forget about the outside world. About the future that tended to scare them both so much.

Because if nothing else, he'd established that their commitment to one another—this friendship, partnership, whatever they had—would withstand any hurdles life would throw their way. And truly, wasn't this just.. an extension of that idea?

Kaito's spare hand found a place to rest on Shuichi's lower back, keeping him supported just as he did before. But it was different now, he wasn't clinging to him now.

In a way that only Kaito knew how, he just... automatically provided this kind of comfort to him.

I've got you, this action whispered. Giving him the peace of mind to just sort of.. melt into the embrace. His hands grasped for the fabric of his jacket, clinging to it like he feared this dream would slip through his fingers otherwise.

I've got you, Shuichi, he would say, wordlessly.

I'm not letting go, Kaito, he would reply.

Kaito eventually pulled back just enough to catch his breath, and Shuichi was secretly thankful, because this was all happening so fast... he was starting to feel his head spin, his heart struggling to keep up with all the... everything.

But Kaito wasn't letting up now that they'd started again. Just as he thought they were slowing down, he would steal another quick peck. Then pause, and do it again, deeper this time. Then, as Shuichi thought to complain about his lips growing sore, he kissed the corner of his lips instead. Venturing to his cheek at one point. Kissing the corner of his eye.

And at first—even as he fought to slow his breaths down a bit—it was very sweet. Feeling what could only be described as butterflies in his chest, Shuichi couldn't help but let out a little laugh.

But it seemed that this emboldened Kaito. Because he was kissing him again, catching the sound as it left his lips.

Then, it was his cheek again. Then the other cheek, like he felt an obligation to not "leave one out". And Shuichi was laughing again.

"Kaito..." He breathed.

It was like he hadn't even heard him.

And then, he was lingering a little longer, letting his lips hover over his skin, fanning his breath across his face.

He managed to catch the heavy, contented sigh that Kaito let out.

But when he opened his mouth to speak, Kaito would grow bolder.

As his hand drifting further up his back, Kaito began tracing his jaw with feather-light kisses.

Shuichi had to remind himself how to breathe in this moment. Putting in the manual effort to keep doing so, clinging to that jacket for dear life.

But it didn't stop here, because now he was kissing his neck, and...!

"Kaito-!" He gasped, "S-slow down a little..!"

Finally, his words broke through that stupor of his. Kaito was peaking up at him through half-lidded eyes, and.. good lord it was getting warm in here, wasn't it? Did Kaito turn up the heat in the room when he had his back turned or something?

"Shuichi..."

He forced a deep breath in, quickly realizing that.. he wasn't wholly sure where the lines of reality and fantasy stopped and started.

"Y.. yeah?" He squeaked.

"Shuichi, I... I want to keep you by my side. For as long as you'll have me." In the blink of an eye, he was slowly donning a serious look. Holding his face with great purpose as he added: "What can I do to.. make that happen?"

“…!”

(He.. can't be seriously wondering that. After all THAT..?)

He must not have been as good at hiding his reactions as he thought, because Kaito was taking his free hand and touching the back of one of his hands. "You mean the world to me, Shu, and I... I-I want to do what I can. To keep it that way. Is that... okay?"

He could strangle him. He honestly, and truthfully, could strangle him right now.

Finding his head spinning for a completely different reason now, Shuichi took a shaky breath before giving his reply.

"J.. just keep kissing me, please..."

A request that Kaito would happily oblige.

He was supporting his back again as he all but lifted him up, bringing them to a similar position as before. With Shuichi on his back, gazing fondly up at Kaito as he leaned down to kiss him all over again.

They could sort out their current dynamic tomorrow. For now, he just wanted to enjoy the moment while they had it.

There was still no way to tell if Kaito would remember.. any of this come morning.

But that was out of his control now.

And, frankly, the least of his concerns as his mind grew fuzzy...

His earlier assertion was correct: eight AM was far too early to be checking out of a hotel, but especially on a weekend.

Thank god for Kaito Momota, and his uncanny ability to wake up with the sun; he was perhaps the only reason that Shuichi was able to peel himself out of bed before housekeeping came to shoo them out.

For all intents and purposes, the morning was... fine.

Shuichi couldn't help but walk on eggshells at the start; he and Kaito navigated the space like it was their own apartment, finding a natural rhythm as they freshened up in the bathroom (Kaito even found time to use the shower before they left, and contemplated doing the same, but because he knew there was no time to enjoy that luxurious bathtub... he knew better than to subject himself to the heartbreak. It was fine, he was still too tired yet anyway). Mild conversation was made, and whenever Kaito noticed him staring, he'd simply smile one of his many smiles, and move on.

And after last night—with the fresh, yet incomplete memories flashing through his mind—Shuichi couldn't help feeling... disappointed.

He got to see a whole new side of Kaito last night: a vulnerable, emotional side to him. And more than that, after all that time spent wondering, worrying, fixating on these burdens Kaito seemed to carry, how was he supposed to just.. pretend it didn't happen?

Pretend he didn't know that Kaito felt encumbered by this "hero" role he so proudly wore?

On top of that, worse yet, how could he simply ignore that cry for help, let him walk past him dozens and dozens of times, let him smile like nothing was wrong... and not reach out to him?

There were plenty of opportunities to do so. Shuichi counted a total of eight times where he and Kaito were beside one another, preparing for the day ahead. And Kaito was doing his usual, charming, leader-shtick. And like always, Shuichi stood beside him, soaking it all in with a smile in return.

But what was realistically stopping him from.. reaching his hand out. Hooking his fingers around his wrist. Just to see what he would do? To see if there'd be a crack in that façade?

Not that he wants to see Kaito crumble like that again! Goodness no.

Rather, he wanted to just.. hold him for a moment. In the hopes that, maybe, he could reach that subconscious side of Kaito that came out last night. The one that called out to him so, begged him not to go far.

Was it so wrong... to yearn for that? For Kaito to let him back in?

"Well, I think that's everything." Kaito announced, his eyes doing one final sweep of the room, before he finally stepped into the genkan to get his shoes. "Feels weird coming to a hotel, but not havin' anything to pack.."

Shuichi watches Kaito for half a second longer than he normally would. Watching his hands. How they fall from his hips, and rest loosely at his side as he slips out of his slippers. Nine times, he think sadly.

"I'll never understand why you're so insistent on cleaning up before we leave." He remarks, but not before swallowing the lump in his throat. Doing so finally allows him to don a proper smile. "Hotels like these have help, you know. They get paid to do what you're doing for free."

"Yeah yeah, I know." Kaito dismisses. He has to get down on on knee in order to fasten his shoelaces. "It just doesn't feel right. I don't like leavin' a place all messed up. Feels rude."

Shuichi shakes his head, and in the two seconds that he's doing this, he's already got his shoes on. He patiently waits for Kaito to finish, but not without doing one final check-up on his appearance. Readjusting his hat, checking the buttons of his cardigan...

And it's when he's checking his pockets, making sure that he's still got his phone, that his eyes find the gilded "key of love".

Seeing it now, resting on the entryway's storage area, make his stomach flip.

It was real... it HAD to have been real, right?

Even if he can't remember all the little things that well, he.. certainly remembers the key. And unlocking the door with the key. But was there any way that he just... imagined it all? Dreamed it all?

He glances back to Kaito again. A compulsive desire to check him again, just in case he was displaying some kind of nervous tick. Anything to confirm that it wasn't a dream.

But... Kaito just pops up to his feet, wearing one of those dumb, cheesy smiles like always. "You ready to go, sidekick?"

And he feels.. a pang of something in his chest. For both of their sakes, though, he writes it off as... heartburn, or something.

Yeah. It was just heartburn.

"Ah, j-just about." Shuichi replies, then forces himself to retrieve the stupid, gaudy key. He slips it into his cardigan pocket with ease (which he pats down after the fact, just to make sure it was there). "I agree with.. uh, what you said earlier. About not having anything to pack. I keep feeling like I'm leaving something behind."

"At least it's not that far from home if we did." Kaito shrugs. But with that, he prompts them to start heading homeward bound, as he opens up the door without missing a beat.

Shuichi nods in acknowledgement, muttering a quick thank you as he slips out the door.

And when they're both out in the hallway again, Shuichi watches Kaito shut the door. Since he's already there, he decides to hand the door's key to him, allowing him to do the honors.

Kaito observes the key for a moment, turning it over in his hands. He looks like he wants to say something clever, but.. the moment comes and goes.

So, he turns to the door, and slides the key into the lock. Promptly turning it until it clicks.

He hands it back to Shuichi, and the two slowly make their way back down the hall from which they came.

"Didja sleep alright last night?" Kaito asks, as casually as one might ask about the weather.

Shuichi has to take a few measured breaths, as he finds himself suddenly choking on his own spit. After coughing a little to clear his throat, he replies: "Y-yeah, uh... the- the bed was surprisingly comfy."

"Ha! Well, I'd hope that the bed in a love hotel is comfy." He lightly nudges Shuichi's arm with his elbow, laughing as he shakes his head. "That's, like, the main attraction!"

"Yep, you're.. sure right about that." He chuckles weakly.

. . . . .

It's quiet in this hallway, even during check-out time. There was no way they were the only ones here, so did.. all the other patrons check out already?

Shuichi sneaks a peak at his wristwatch, finding that they're technically late for check out by a couple minutes. But he hardly thinks the front clerk will mind.

"Say, did.. you come up with any new leads about the case?" Kaito asks next. He's sliding his hands into the pockets of his jacket as he adds: "That was kinda the whole point in comin' down here, so I hope you got some ideas at least.."

"Oh," Shuichi blinks in surprise, thankful for a topic that he can actually latch on to, "yeah, I-I already have a potential angle for the defense to utilize in court."

"That's my sidekick!" Kaito cheers, happily clasping a hand on his shoulder and lightly shaking him around a bit. "Whatcha got??"

"I was watching you as you were locking our room's door." Shuichi explains. "And I couldn't help noticing that... the lock on the door is a warded lock: it's a type of lock that's not really used today, because it's a really old style of lock, and... it's infamous for it's lack of real security."

"Wait, you're sayin' that.. that someone could'a broken in or something??" Kaito asked in a whisper-shout, quickly glancing over his shoulder to their hotel room. Like he might find someone breaking in as they spoke.

"I think it's a possibility, yes." He replies, nervously fiddling with the brim of his hat. "The fact that the key witness testified that the victim's door was slightly open, allowing them to hear inside, is telling to me. What it actually means for the case at hand, I'm not sure. But I think that.. that this'll provide the defense an ample amount of different angles to argue to prove Ibukuro's innocence.

"If I had to make a guess right now, I would probably argue that someone tried picking their lock, since we know they used the same key that we have, but I suppose that's not a flawless argument in and of itself, I admittedly haven't done my research on this hotel's security..."

But as he's trailing off, Kaito's eagerly grabbing him by the upper arm. "Shuichi, that's great! Sounds like you basically cracked the case wide open!!"

"I-I wouldn't say WIDE open, but... ah, th-thanks, Kaito." He mumbles with a smile, allowing Kaito to shake him around again. "And... thanks again for coming with me. I think this.. well, it at least would've been a boring investigation without you with me."

"You think so?" Kaito grins.

"I know so. Without you, I would've had to stay in that room by myself all night. That would've gotten.. pretty boring."

Sure, he could've brought a book, but... that felt counterintuitive.

"No problem, Shuichi." Kaito beams; it's the kind of smile that steals people's hearts, and.. Shuichi wonders if he knows it, too. "Anything for you!

"But speaking of that... I gotta ask." He starts on a new topic, and he can feel his heart sink. Unsure which direction he wants this conversation to go. But he's left with no opportunity to ponder his fate before Kaito outright asks him: "Did anything... you know, weird happen last night?"

"...weird?" Shuichi echoes, failing to project his voice very loud as it gets caught in his throat.

"Yeah, you know... man, this is really weird to ask.." Kaito stalls, idly rubbing the back of his neck with a hand. "Did you... get to 'see my ideal fantasy', or whatever?"

"Oh, that?" He has to look away, otherwise he fears he'll absolutely die this very moment. Awkwardly, he clears his throat. "Oh, um... y-yeah. I did."

"Really! Huh. Guess it's... really magic after all, then, huh?"

"Haha, yeah, I.. I guess it is."

. . . . . . . .

"..was it... anything worth talkin' about?"

"....do you not remember it?"

(Why did I ask that!?) Shuichi has to fight every instinct not to throw his head against the nearest wall. (I don't want the answer to that question. Nope, this isn't happening. I'm dreaming! I'm still asleep, and this is actually a nightmare!!)

"Nah, nothin' really." Kaito replies, and Shuichi's horrified at how nonchalant he's behaving. When he forces himself to glance over at him, he's watching as Kaito scratches at his chin. "It's weird, I have, like... these flashes of memories every now and then. But it's like flipping through channels on TV with the sound off. All I've got are the random pictures, but nothin' else."

"Oh." His face feels warm. Was he sick? Maybe he had a fever. Maybe they should leave as soon as possible and forget any of this happened. "I-I see. Um, and- and that makes sense, because it's... it's pretty much the same for me."

"Gotcha."

"Yeah, haha, it... b-but I remember that you were, um..."

He regrets ever opening his mouth when Kaito looks at him, curiosity glimmering in those stupid gorgeous eyes of his.

Shuichi's mouth sort of gapes open like a fish gasping for air, but after floundering around for a moment, he somehow chokes through the rest of his thought: "...y-you thought we were.. uh, rival pilots."

(Why!! Am I still talking!! Oh my god!!)

"Really!" Kaito's face lights up with recognition, as he sort of expects him to, considering its connection to Kaito's past. "Ha, that's pretty funny. Guess that makes sense for me."

Shuichi finds himself unable to look away from Kaito, watching his face slowly change as he processes this information. He seems amused at first, but definitely starts to consider the implications of that fantasy, because he suddenly looks.. confused.

Then they make eye contact again. Both appear to want to say something, but... instead, they reach the top of the stairs without saying a word.

And now, they make their slow descent.

Hey Kaito, why don't we have a race to see who can get to the car fastest? In fact, we could even run all the way home! I think it's a nice day out, last one home has to make dinner tonight!

...is what he wants to say. But Shuichi thinks he would rather trip down this entire set of stairs, all the way down to the lobby, before running a mini-marathon first thing in the morning.

That's fine. What's an awkward silence between friends?

That is, it's an awkward silence.. until Kaito speaks again.

"...actually, Shuichi, there's... more to it that I remember."

Was falling down the stairs still an option?

"I..." His face is suddenly serious, and for a moment, Shuichi forgets to be worried. Because maybe.. maybe they'll have that candid conversation after all. Maybe he doesn't have to pretend like he never kissed his best friend many, many, many times over.

And then he realizes it means they'll actually talk about last night. And suddenly, he feels worse.

But he holds his breath and lets Kaito talk anyway. Giving him his attention, to silently encourage him to speak his mind.

"...I-I remember crying." He admits, his tone falling into something.. somber. "And I remember.. that you were with me. Like I said, I have no idea what went down, just got that mental image. But I..."

As his voice trails off, he's looking at him again. Like, really looking. And Shuichi wonders for a moment if.. somewhere deep down, those memories really are in there. Locked away where only his unconscious mind can reach.

Shuichi takes a slow, deep breath in. Holds it for as long as his lungs will allow. Then, he softly exhales.

And somehow, somehow, he finds the willpower... to reach for his hand. Curling his fingers around it gently.

Kaito almost comes to a full stop, and it surprises him, too. But he doesn't let go, staring right up at him, and hoping it'll help fill in some of the missing blanks for him. Because lord only knows he won't find the words to VERBALLY explain things.

"I.. wouldn't think too hard about it." Shuichi mutters. "I don't think that- that we're meant to." And knowing Kaito, he might hurt himself trying.

"But, um... what you should know is that.. th-that I'm glad." He said, pausing long enough to briefly flick his eyes away. Like a scuba diver might pop up for air. "I'm.. glad that I could be there to help you. When you were crying, I mean. I know you don't like doing that, so..."

By now, Kaito did come to a stop on the stairs. A bit inconvenient for anyone else who may need to get by, and Shuichi has every intention to say as much. But when Kaito gives his hand a little squeeze... well, he can't be blamed for losing his nerve.

Especially as he's watching his face now. Watching as that warm, inviting smile takes shape.

"...why don't we talk it out over breakfast?" He offers. "It's.. been a while since we went out together for breakfast. We're already in the area, and I can't think of a better excuse than that to go."

That's true.. much like these investigations, Kaito isn't usually home enough to justify such a thing. And since he's actually here, and offering, he.. can't think of a good excuse as to why they shouldn't.

So, despite the knot in his stomach making it rather difficult to find an appetite... Shuichi returns the smile. "I'd like that."

And for a moment, he forgets what he was even afraid of.

"One scrambled with some hash browns on the side, aaand one over-easy with some bacon and toast. Oh, and two OJ's, please and thank you!"

Kaito's taken their orders at this diner so many times, Shuichi's almost surprised he has to give it, that the staff haven't memorized them and their preferences yet.

But then again, they'd been coming less and less, with Kaito barely staying to chat most mornings, in favor of zipping right off to the space station. Maybe he does it just to be safe. Or... for old time's sake.

Either way, the bored-looking waitress heads off to give their order to the kitchen staff. Finally allowing the duo a chance to... go over last night's events.

Thankfully, for his sake, Kaito doesn't let the silence of the diner settle in for long.

Shuichi reminds himself to take slow, measured breaths as Kaito's looking around the diner, no doubt working to determine if anyone was within eavesdropping-distance.

Kaito's so, so considerate. So gentle with him and his feelings.

So much so, that he trusts the very unlikely instance of this conversation leaving him utterly heartbroken.

But by god, when Kaito makes eye contact with him again, and those glistening purple eyes are scanning his face with that same level of caution... he feels he's doomed either way.

Only in his wildest fantasy will things work out nicely between them now. Lest he forget—and he could hardly forget this cruel reality of theirs—he and Kaito were on borrowed time together. Someday, he would go up to space, leaving him behind.

He wouldn't want Kaito to choose him over space. That just wasn't fair.

(But how is that outcome any better...!) He fights every urge to sink into the plastic booth.

Flashing Kaito a pained smile, one that hardly lasts, as he rests his hands on the table. Before opting to keep himself busy by picking at a hangnail. 

Only a slightly better habit than biting his nails, but is just as harmful, ultimately. And he knows it too.

But before he can scrape at his thumb until it turns red, becoming sensitive to the touch, he watches Kaito's fingers come into view.

Not needing to look up at him in that moment. His fingers stilling, a wordless answer to the question his hand was asking.

And then, just like dozens of times over the course of the previous evening... he found Kaito's hands resting atop his. 

And yet again, he could feel his heart absolutely melting.

He's not sure what face he's making as he meets Kaito's gaze. Somehow, he manages a smile.

(Please, just.. let me down gently, Kaito. That's all I could ask.)

. . . . .

. . . . . . .

"...well?" Kaito finally says after a long, uncertain pause.

"Well.. what?" asks Shuichi.

Kaito's lucky that his nervous smile is so damn endearing, because what he says next nearly has him falling out of his chair.

"I-I.. was kinda waiting for you to go."

"Oh..?" He begins, but the request finally makes sense in his mind in a matter of seconds, his face heating up almost automatically. "O-oh! Right, sorry, I... you wouldn't remember any of that, right.."

"Wait, so.. you do remember what happened last night?"

"Yeah.. I-I mean no!" His hands retreat from Kaito's grasp so he can frantically wave them around. "I mean, yes, but.. nothing, ah, n-nothing specific... I'm sorry, I guess I forgot that it wouldn't be the same for you.."

"No no, it's okay!" Kaito's smile finally falls back into one of his regular smiles, as he reaches across the table for one of Shuichi's hands. This time, he cradles his hand in his, gently resting it on the table as he gives it a squeeze. "Shuichi, you don't gotta apologize."

"I know, I just..."

"It's... let's just take this slow. There's no rush to get everything out on the table, right?"

Finally, he manages to get his breathing back down to a reasonable pace. Like countless times before, he's soothed by the steadiness of Kaito's voice. But the feeling of his hands, gentle and warm, around his is a welcome change to this sort of routine.

It's almost funny, in a not so humorous way, that they pick up on old habits so quickly. Kaito falls into the role of the strong, supportive, unwavering hero-type that he's always been. And Shuichi, like clockwork, has no qualms in letting him take the lead in things.

But this time... won't be like all those other times. This time, Kaito's waiting for him to take the lead.

Maybe everything they've been through together is what led them to this point. So many late night conversations, pep-talks and speeches.. Kaito was working to strengthen his resolve. To give him the confidence to finally stand on his own beyond his hero's shadow.

Though, if last night was anything to go off of.. it sounded like neither of them actually wanted that dynamic to end.

Peering up at Kaito from behind the safety of his hat for a few moments... Shuichi took the time to gather everything he could about last night.

Remembering the saddened looks, all the times Kaito's subconscious begged not to be left behind.

Shuichi didn't need Kaito like he used to, not anymore. But.. that didn't mean everything would come to an end. Right?

Holding this hope close to his heart, while closing his eyes momentarily... Shuichi finally recognized what he had to do.

Slowly, he used his available hand to slide his hat off his head.

He always hated doing this—if he'd already committed to wearing his hat, then he was reluctant to take it off again, knowing and dreading the hat-hair it would result in—but this time, it was a necessity. His hair was the least of his concerns right now.

He would take care in setting his hat on the seat beside him, Then, he placed his available hand on top of Kaito's.

After taking a deep breath... it was time to finally time to share what he knew.

"So, I..." He paused to clear his throat, forcing himself to maintain eye contact all the while, as antsy as it was starting to make him. "..I-I suspected something was bothering you for a while, actually."

"Oh.." Kaito began, the edges of his smile starting to falter into something sheepish. "So you... it's- it's not like you needed some magic hotel to figure it out."

"Not really." Shuichi manages some semblance of a playful edge as he adds: "You didn't think my powers of observation stopped at crime scenes, did you?'

"No, but I guess I keep forgetting..." Kaito mutters, turning his head to the side as Shuichi softly laughs. "So what, this all like.. confirmed everything you needed to know? About.. what's been on my mind? Assuming that's what this is about, I mean."

"Not... exactly."

Kaito perks up at this. But the look on his face is just as reluctant as Shuichi feels in this moment. At least, he can take comfort in knowing the feeling was mutual.

"You.. th-the key, or the room, whatever it was... once we were inside the room, it changed you.

"Don't get me wrong, it was still you, but... a side of you that I don't really get to see." He explained, finally finding the justification to glance out the window beside them, using this to gather his thoughts. "You were.. very self assured. Like, to an almost exaggerated degree. Talking about how you were going to space, that you weren't going to let our rivalry get in the way of that. But our final competition, it...

"Ah, this is the pilot thing I mentioned.." He clarified, glancing back to Kaito, and finding the very face—like a sad, confused puppy—that he knew would be waiting for him. Shuichi finds himself smiling again, because it's just as absurd for him to explain. "Your subconscious, it... it clearly latched on to your space-dreams and personified it. And it really made you believe it, too; that must be how the whole thing works."

Not that it explained how this magical effect even happened. But by this point, Shuichi felt they'd only have more questions if they tried rationalizing this magical effect. There was no better way to explain it: what they experienced was Kaito's fantasy.

"M'kay, so..." Kaito began, working through his thoughts slowly, furrowing his brow like it would help him think. "It's not like.. I wasn't myself, then, right?'

"Correct." Shuichi laughed a little as he added: "I'd argue you were more yourself than ever before."

"..wait, how does that...?"

Poor Kaito. He flashes him an apologetic smile as he continues: "Think of it like.. like you didn't have any filter. Normally, when something's very clearly bothering you, you pull away from me emotionally. But you hide it really well—sometimes it takes me a day or two, where I reflect on your actions for a little, and only then notice that something's up. And that's with all these years of being your friend. Knowing what makes you tick.

"But in there, it was like... if something was all over your face. So when you actually thought about the scenario your mind created... I could tell that you had your doubts. And when you're doubting yourself, it eats you up inside.

"I know that better than anyone else, I like to think." He glances down to their hands now, smiling a little at the thought. "It's.. how I noticed you were worked up over something well before tonight."

"Wow... that's crazy." Kaito breaths.

"But I didn't know what was bothering you, obviously. And I was.. actually working out how to pose it to you. You were using your volunteer work to avoid that conversation, I knew it, but... breaching the topic was harder than I realized.

"And.. it's because I was just as scared. To have that conversation, I mean."

Kaito's face falls in that moment. But it's clear that he has his attention now, and.. he knows why.

The confessions of Kaito's subconscious were ones that hadn't quite reached the Kaito he was seeing now. But they were still one and the same person, all things considered. Thus, he felt emboldened to at least try speaking his mind for once. 

If for no one else, but the Kaito that held him so tightly last night. The Kaito that wanted him, needed him, to stay in his life.

"...this is about you dream of going into space." He finally reveals, spoken in a low, almost-whisper. Like he feared the whole diner would hear. "It's become clear to me now that.. you're having your doubts about going up there."

He pauses here, doing a quick check-in with Kaito. And oh, that heartbroken look in his eyes is almost too much to bear. But when their eyes meet, Kaito gives his hand another little squeeze. Encouraging him to continue anyway.

And so he does.

"..you're worried about not being able to go in the first place. Worried that something might stop you in your tracks. But at the same time..." He leans forward a little, unknowingly, like he's trying to get a better look at his eyes. "..you're worried about what will happen if everything goes right. That you'll finally be up in space, and maybe it's everything that you hoped for... but it won't be the same as the life you've got now. The life you've gotten so accustomed to.

"And it's.. I think you know that's a reasonable fear. One that so many others have had—people like you, who are taking a leap of faith, and finally taking the steps to achieve your dreams. But it's... hard to let yourself feel those things. Isn't it? You feel like you're.. not living up to the standard you set for yourself."

Posed like a question, but Shuichi already knows it to be true. Kaito knows it as well.

"This.. isn't a decision I can make for you, Kaito. In the end, you need to be the one to make that call." He offered him a little smile, hoping the empathy he felt for that situation was clear to see; being paralyzed with indecision was something he hated about himself in his college years.

But it was because of Kaito's encouragement that he was able to overcome that. Granted, sometimes the anxiety still gripped him tight, making him feel like every choice he made would end in disaster one way or another. 

"...but until that time comes, I want to be there to support you. Please, Kaito, I want to return the favor for you—I want to be that support system for you." He feels his throat tightening as this burning desire swells within, but Shuichi does what he can to push past it. Because he doesn't want to start begging Kaito to let down his walls; it won't mean the same, coming from a Kaito that's finally placing his trust him.

His eyes sharpen in tandem with his resolve. "If things start to feel overwhelming, I want to break it all down with you. I want to spend long nights weighing your options, doing everything in my power to make you feel less scared."

"Shuichi..."

"And if you feel like you're not ready to make that difficult choice yet? That's fine! Because you were the one to always tell me that.. that we have our whole lives to chase our dreams. Even if it means we have to wait a really long time, that doesn't mean we can't reach them with hard work!"

He's maybe talking a little louder than the volume they'd initially set for this conversation, but he doesn't care. With one of Kaito's hands in his, he emphasizes his words by holding him tight.

Because it's as he's talking that he finally sees it again. That hopeful gleam in his eyes, making his lilac eyes glisten like they did last night. And dozens of times before. And it's a reminder of everything he could possibly want.

"I've wondered for so long if this is what's been on your mind, wondered since then what I would even say to help you feel a little less alone in the matter. Because Kaito, you've truly changed me for the better. And I wanted nothing more than to do the same for you someday. Even if it meant..." He has to take a breath, his voice starting to falter as he realizes what he's going to admit.

He checks Kaito again. His stare is so intense, it's like staring straight into the sun; it takes a lot of willpower not to look away, as that burning stare urges him to continue.

Fuck it. They've been through this much together. He had to be the one to take a stand for once.

"Even if... it meant that you'd go to space. And for who knows how long, I'd lose you." He squeezes his hand, this time for reassurance. Kaito squeezes his hand right back. "It was so selfish of me to think, I know, but..

"It's.. partly why I kept these worries to myself. Because maybe, if I didn't say anything, I... I wouldn't have to- to worry about what my life would look like without you."

For a little while, he didn't dare look up from their hands. Wanting to treasure this sight for as long as physically possible, a reminder of what he's pushing for right now. The future that he wants, the future that he needs.

"...I know better than that, now, though." He quietly admits. To keep his hands busy, he idly traces the side of Kaito's hand with his thumb, trying to commit this tender feeling to memory. "I know that if I.. if I care this much about keeping you in my life, then... I need to let you chase your dreams. Because I know you would do the same thing for me. And you did—you kept encouraging me to get through school, to finally leave my uncle's firm. Even if it meant that most nights, the only time we'd talk was about my choices. Talking me down from my anxiety attacks, working out my options, even if everything felt too scary.

"I want to do the exact same thing for you. Because I care about you so, so much, Kaito, and... a-and I want to push you to greatness."

Finally, finally he meets his eyes, because he's come around to the point he's trying so desperately to drive home:

"If it means you'll be happy... then I'll wait an eternity for you. I'll be waiting as long as I takes, no matter how much time you need up in space. When you come back down to Earth, I'll still be here. Waiting for you, missing you, needing you every minute."

. . . . . . 

The silence in the diner is almost deafening.

Shuichi feels like he's gone deaf waiting for Kaito's reaction. Like a bomb had dropped just outside the diner, and the quiet sounds of the diner patrons' quiet chatter, of forks and knives scraping against plates, is the ringing in his ears. Bringing him back to reality.

The only other sound filling the space is his heart pounding in his ears. He feels it's leap right out his throat and come spilling out on to the table, with how much he was pouring his heart out to Kaito.

He wants more than anything to allow a black hole to open up beneath his feet.

Their relationship won't be the same after this. The normal life he'd come to cherish... no matter the outcome, it would be different now.

But Kaito didn't back down from challenges like these. And today—and for the rest of his life—he's not backing down from challenges anymore.

"...that's what you helped me to believe in the love hotel." He all but whispers now. "And.. I-I think you want that, too."

Somehow, his eyes catch on Kaito's throat in that moment. Perhaps in an effort to look anywhere but his eyes. He watches his Adam's apple bob up and down, corresponding with him swallowing.

His hands aren't as warm as they once were.

His jackrabbit-heart makes him want to believe that this is the end. That Kaito will pull away any moment now.

But his detective's intuition has him holding firm.

It's only then that he finally meets his eyes, and...

Oh.

"Oh, Kaito, I...!"

He's reaching a hand up to his face without thinking.

He does what he can to ignore the feeling of deja vu as he gently swipes his thumb across his cheek... to catch a single tear that falls from those watery eyes.

Kaito doesn't cry very often. Shuichi can list on one hand the number of times he's seen him cry, and half the time, it's usually tears building up out of frustration.

And in those other instances.. much like now, he's laughing softly. Like he hopes the sound will break up a bit of the heavy feeling in his chest. 

He places a hand atop the back of Shuichi's, keeping his hand resting gently on his cheek.

"Wow..." He croaks out, lip trembling. "I.. y-you basically said everything I.. that I needed to hear...!"

Shuchi finds himself smiling, though he can't place why just yet. "In my line of work, you would think I'd hear something like that more often.." He quips, quietly, in an effort to make him laugh again.

He does, and it's such a lovely sound. Kaito's laughter is his favorite melody, and he wants to keep it on a loop for as long as possible.

Thankfully, though his eyes are still a little shiny with tears unspilled, the smile that plays at Kaito's lips is far from a sad sight.

He slowly removes his hand from his cheek, but only so he can gently intertwine their fingers.

"Did... did you figure all of that out from the love hotel?"

"No, of course not-!" Shuichi laughs, because of course that would be the first thing out of his mouth now. "But, uh... it did help."

"Man.." Kaito glances away for but a moment, a small blip of his nervous energy coming back to the surface as he (facetiously) says: "We gotta go back there—this time I'm gonna use that key. It's only fair I get to meet your 'ideal fantasy self', or whatever you call it..!"

"H-hey, keep your voice down..!" Shuichi playfully scolds, laughing as he attempts to lower his head, just in case any passersby heard them talking. "I don't need the whole diner to know where we were—!”

They're laughing together, and everything feels... good. Mundane, even.

But as it subsides, it makes way for something much lighter. Even as a smile settles into Kaito's face, and it's a sort of... his smile has a bittersweet twinge to it.

His hands are moving again—they always are, so it's no surprise—but this time, it's so he's only holding one of his hands. Cradling his fingers, so he can gently graze his thumb against his knuckles.

And oh. It's very distracting.

"Shuichi.." He says softly. Something about that alone sends his heart racing—he can feel a magnetic pull to Kaito now. And he wants to beg him to say what's on his mind.

But thankfully, he doesn't stall for long. "It.. might take me some time. To get comfortable sharin' my feelings, in this way, with you. But I... I really want to. Get comfortable with that, I mean. And I..

"God, do I ever need you in my corner right now..!" The sadness in his eyes seems to take over in this moment. And as that aching feeling in his chest returns, he wants more than ever to hold his face. He couldn't bear it if Kaito started to cry again. "I... a-are you sure you'd be there no matter what?"

Shuichi nods without a second thought.

"Even if.. the space thing doesn't work out for some reason or another? If something goes wrong, or... if- if I decide not to altogether?"

He doesn't believe it'd ever come to that point. He knows Kaito too well, knows that he'd be happiest up amongst the stars.

But if it means making those doubtful thoughts quiet down, he knows what Kaito needs to hear him say.

"Of course." He nods again, more certain of this than anything else in his life. "Spaceman or no, you're still my hero. Always will be."

“I—”

Kaito cuts himself off quick, as he finds himself glancing up just in time for their waitress to round a corner, balancing a large silver tray on her arm.

Shuichi gets the picture quick, doesn't argue as Kaito lets go of his hand.

When their waitress returns, Kaito helps her distribute their breakfast. Making sure to thank her profusely for her excellent service.

Shuich can only lament over how cold his hand feels now. Even if the plate of eggs sitting in front of him look absolutely delicious.

But even as they're left alone with their food, he can't get himself to look away from Kaito. How could he, after everything they've been through in such a short time?

What started as simple investigation turned into... an emotionally charged conversation that he never thought they'd have.

Kaito catches his eye in a matter of moments. And in the very next beat, he's smiling at him again. That effortless, heart melting smile of his.

"Aren't you hungry, sidekick?"

"It's a little hot still," He dismisses, "I'm just giving it a second to cool down."

Kaito was the one to pose this question, but.. he didn't see him reaching for his fork, either. Instead of racing straight into the first bite like he usually did, typically burning his mouth in the process.

This time, however, he joins him in the comfortable silence.

His hand slides across the table. Cautiously avoiding their drinks as he takes Shuichi's hand again. Lifting it slightly off the table, allowing his fingers to curl over his hand.

He doesn't think he's going to say anything, and for now, he's perfectly content with that. After all, they've had a fair share of emotional whiplash in such a short time, and doesn't blame Kaito if he'd rather just—

"I love you."

“—!!”

Shuichi hasn't even taken a sip from his drink, but he feels himself choking from his shock.

Eyes blown wide with disbelief, he looks to Kaito for elaboration.

Kaito sort of laughs, then shyly glances down to his hand. "Sorry. I... don't like stuff like that goin' unresolved.

"In fact, I.. I've been wanting to tell you that for a while."

Unbelievable. Kaito Momota was going to be the death of him.

"Uh, you don't... don't feel like you gotta say it back, or nothin', I just.." When he looks back up at him again, his smile turning sheepish the longer he's left to talk. "I just wanted..."

Shuichi returns the smile, and without missing a beat, he replies: "I love you too, Kaito."

As if he didn't see that one coming, Kaito perks up like a dog hearing the familiar squeak of its favorite ball. "Y-you do-??"

"Yes," Shuichi feels utterly overwhelmed, and mildly surprised after all this that he hasn't fainted yet. "Of course I do, Kaito. I just... I-I was just wondering if.. if this'll change anything between us.

"Granted, I know we- we just had that entire conversation, so it feels a little silly to wonder now, but..."

Kaito thinks on it for all of two seconds. But then, Shuichi's watching his eyes, noticing how they trace the digits of his bony fingers.

"Maybe some things will be different," he shrugs, before gently lifting his hand closer to his face as he adds: "but above all else, it just means I can..."

Tenderly, Kaito lifts his hand to his mouth, where he places a kiss on his fingers.

Shuichi feels he's completely lost the ability to breathe after gasping so suddenly like that. "Kaito—!”

Oh, this is so unfair. And what's worse, he's left to helplessly watch as his hand is kept by his face, Kaito's gentle breaths fanning softly against his skin.

"..Is that alright?"

"Yes—!” Shuichi squeaks out, immediately using his available hand to try and hide his face, as he knows from the warmth radiating under his skin that his cheeks are turning a blotchy red. "Kaito, th-that's not fair..!" He protests, "I-I can't.. I can't kiss you properly from across the table..!"

Shuichi only has the time to watch the start of that mischievous grin take shape, before Kaito's moving his hand just so, placing another feather-light kiss on the back of his hand.

Though after this, he seems to finally decide to show mercy on him, as he lets go of his hand in favor of his fork.

"You're right, at least one thing will be different." Though he's smiling with that same, typical confidence of the Luminary of the Stars, he can't help admiring the dusty pink color that appears in his cheeks as he says: "I like when we sit across from each other, I get to properly look at ya that way. But.. maybe next time, you can sit next to me?"

He knows what he's implying with that offer. Shuichi has to fight every urge to grab his hat in this moment. Never before has he wanted so badly to hide under the brim...

He is absolutely ridiculous.

Living with someone like Kaito came with its quirks, that much was for sure. Kaito tested his patience in ways that he never would've guessed, even now. Especially now, as he's essentially left him to pick at his eggs after getting him all worked up.

But despite it all... he wouldn't have it any other way. Kaito is his friend, his investigative partner. And.. starting today, his life partner.

Even if their fates were written in the stars, the answers only coming when the constellations lined up just so...

Shuichi looks forward to every day he'll get to spend with Kaito from here on out.