Chapter Text

Distorting || Beyond infinity

Chapter 1 || " When you sink to the bottom "

Life is fleeting away. You were barely living. And at some point, relationships just didn't look the same anymore. You hoped, after many therapy sessions, that you could try to evolve, slowly. Step by step. And, to be honest, you were making some progress! You had a regular job, a regular apartment, located in a regular city, with regular people, regular routine. Everything is okay, and everything is fine. Your work is not that bad. Your sleep schedule could be worse. Your food at least doesn't taste bland. But, is that really what you think? Isn't there... sometimes, at the back of your mind, telling everything you deserve, at the end of the day? Oh, the things you deserve.

Yes, that's exactly what they tell you.

A liar. The only utmost pure, unadulterated thing to you. And still, a bad one. Always deceiving others, but never yourself. Your progress? Slow, barely moving at all. Like the piles of unfinished artistic works that you would begin at some point of your life. Now, you don't have the time anymore. You ran out of it the moment you set foot into high school, and you knew it. And when it ended, the feeling began to only get worse. Your job wasn't fulfilling, managing just the minimum to keep your sanity as you wasted money with things you never needed, and never will. As night, your city is always screaming with cries of countless victims at the hands of the deranged — much like you — and depression always found a way back, trapping you down the spiral once more. People weren't... enough for you. You were there, you were — but no one wanted you. Why was that? Something was pretty wrong with you, that must be the reason. Why would anyone try to talk to you? Even the ones that did, you just couldn't find fulfilment in friendships. No one wanted your heart, and you had to live with that for the rest of your life.

Still, you tried. Restarting the first steps, yet another time. Restless, your body sat up, picking up your phone while resting the side of your cheek where the bed met the wall. The cold surface sent a pleasing cooling sensation to your body, humming softly as you picked up your phone. Staring at it, mindlessly before clicking on the screen — showing the Pierrot background. It drew a smile to your face, albeit weak at first, the sight of the art of him, the lovely clown, having lipstick marks from being kissed all over his face made you feel even more alone in the desolation of your room.

" ... Ugh. I should stop thinking at all or I swear I'm gonna go crazy. "

You thought, going up and heading towards the living room. The place was dead silent, as it always has been at night. Sometimes you liked it, sometimes you hated it. You had to deal with it one way or another, so your opinion doesn't really matter anyway.

" Maybe I'll cook something new tomorrow... "

You told yourself, whispering to the apartment even though no one was there. You hoped the ghost would hear, at least then you wouldn't sound crazy, or worst, isolated if they did. You hummed a song you've been listening to recently, already sat on the couch as you began scrolling through your YouTube. Finding nothing new to amuse your curiosity, you closed the app, opening tik tok. Another unhealthy thing to do at one in the morning — almost two in the morning actually — without your glasses, not caring one bit if the light burned your eyesight in the darkness. Myopia had it's wicked way to your genees and you weren't happy about it, but that doesn't mean you have to wear them all the time anyway. You had a thing for making things to make yourself deteriorate gradually, so whatever.

" Ya know what? I'll play The Freak Circus on my TV. Fuck it, free will makes u do weird stuff-! "

You quickly connected the TV to your headphones, opening the web in your TV, something that always made you think that was bonkers so, alien technology it is. And opening itch io, everything came back to you again. Your back went to the side, laying on the arm of the sofa as you laid your head on the arm of it, looking at the screen for a few moments before stopping.

The pills were finally working, it seemed.

You weren't going to make a mess for people, you weren't going to be a problem. Your insomnia and isolation left you crazy, and an eternal sleep with your favorite visual novel in the back as an odd choice for the beginning of your termination filled your hollow heart with a sick, twisted, and rather sad, smile. It was finally going to be over, and you were finally, finally going to be free, to dream and rest, for eternity. So you held your phone closer to your chest, having more attachment to it more than with some people, as it witnessed the final acts of your tired misery. You then felt... something akin to a hug. A gentle one, that embraced you from behind, caring arms crossing in front of your chest as a lingering pair of hands caressed your shoulders.

Sounds were getting muffled now, a ringing echoing through you head as your breath became slow. Your body going numb as the first dialog of the game was still on the screen. In their room, much like you. But unlike their waking, your eyes closed slowly as a lpvely voice cradled you to sleep. Although it begged you to keep firm, the pain of immobility began to blur your vision, along with the soothing whispering, your body had already given up.

" I'll stay. I won't leave you, so please, don't leave me too... "

It was already too late, but She never gave up on you. And like an angel from above, her grip never left your spirit, even when the world seemed to drag the both of you away — not up, nor down, left, or right — but somewhere else that made all around feel grandiose and vast, shrouded in layers of darkness, light and colors all crumbled up as if a ring of singularity had scattered them to every dimension, then smashed them into none, then again to a single point, all the while sucking them in to it until nothing else made sense, as if time had stopped but everything stretched above all limits. At this point, all you knew was very, very far. And there were no reasoning that could explain wathever was happening to you. Well. To the both of you.

" You can trust me, so I beg of you, don't leave my side. Hold me tight. Because i will. "

You never heard those words, but once beyond infinity, future had no meaning once the past held everything that ever was — you didn't even know to to react, there was no way or manner how to — and the only affirmation she could have would be your spirit resonating with bers, as if echoing a song of your own through her. A brief calm in the soaring storm of the mind-twisting experience. Nothing was making sense at all, sensations becoming overwhelming and feeling had no purpose.

But suddenly, and forcedly abruptely so, it did. Like a bucket of ice-cold frost bitten water bucket had been thrown at your soulf after a seemingly endless torture of eternal fire and heat. More than anything else you've ever had in your whole life, you felt...

Nothing.

An unfathomable nothingness, unlike anything you've felt. Everything was nothing, and nothing was everything — like an endless ocean filling all that was known as space — until you began falling. As if at some point, you were not inside an ocean as it moved you with its constant waves, but instead, a river with a determined end, a waterfall. And right there, wherever there was, you fell. Endlessly. But as extreme as it was, instead of going down, you were going up after sinking right to the bottom pit. Right to the surface, as bright spots of light began to shine behind your closed eyelids.

You felt cold. You shivered. Water fell all over your body, drenching your clothes and bliding the surface of your glasses that now were slightly cracked in its lenses. The droplets kept washing away the overwhelming sensations that were beginning to be forgotten by you. As if it all became a distant thought, now at the back of your mind. Your eyes, now slightly open, began to recognize your surroundings. Yu were now in the middle of a park, still half-way conscious, as if you were sleep walking, while the rain roared through the sky with dark, heavy gray clouds.

The sound of thunder jolted you back to your senses.

You went up immediately, stumbling on your own feet as you looked around in pure dread, hugging your own arms though the clothes that were now much like soggy sponges. Your breath became heavy, your nails sinking onto the fabric.

" W- where..? "

You couldn't continue your own thought. Instead, you looked down, grabbing you glasses and placing them back where they belong: fixing your myopia. Noticing, right after the blur became clear, that a bag was scattered a few meters away where you had fallen. Curiosity always took the best of you, and right now, it was all that you had. Seeing also that the park was empty, it surely must've been in your hold, right? Maybe you just... sleep walked? But again, you didn't bother to look at the prescription of the dozens of doses that you gobbled up before going to bed. And you were regretting it horribly.

Your steps slowly followed your will after some time of hesitation. Once in front of it, you picked it up. You also took note of a bus stop sign in the nearby distance, and an awfully familiar Cafe. Which didn't make sense since you never went to one many times to almost feel nostalgic about it. Still, you quickly dismissed it, seeing that the bus stop could provide you with a rather small but welcome shelter from the unending downpour. Once sitting above the bench, now a bit safe from the ruthless weather, you began scanning through the bag.

" What the fuck..? "

You hissed to no one in particular. It wasn't anyone's fault. But why was there your face, your whole name in an ID that seemed nothing like your own. Even weirder, is the fact that your phone is... the same. Same background, same apps, same playlists on spotfy. But something troubled you. No matter how much you tried to find it, there were no contacts to your friends, and neither to your parents.

" Shit- what the hell happened to me? Ugh- "

Still scanning through everything, thankfully, you've found a pair of keys, with lots of Keychains to it, with one of the keys having a small, almost invisible dot of red to its edges. You held it in your left hand, using the other one to see if you could find where you were through your phone's location. And when you did, the minor heat of hope you could've felt died when you realized you knew nothing of the place you were at. No streets or buildings made sense to you. With a shaky sigh, you looked through the location app just a bit more if you could see just how far you went from your home. It could be a way to see the way back, even if you had almost to nothing to your name right now. Enough to pay an Uber, but not nearly enough to take an airplane.

Until you found something... odd. In one of the pinpointed locations, there was a footnote saying [ Home :P ] in a certain address, as if to remember it's location — much like you do — but the weirder it gets, the more confused you are. The place is just a few blocks away, and with the clouds becoming lighter, as if benevolent to your distress, you immediately began to run with all the strength you had left. You never saw this part of your town, still, you never went out that much. Even so, nothing around felt familiar besides that Cafe.

This was really stressing you out.

And after a couple of minutes, you arrived in front of a conglomerate of apartments, much like yours. The unsettling pinch at the start of your stomach made you shudder. Everything was so odd. So familiar and yet but not in a way that was all at once, and still not enough for you to truly point it out.

You really should stop skipping teraphy.

As you made it inside, the guard was still sleeping. Looking inside your bag, you've had found yet another card — just like your usual building — to pass through the gate. Still, you've never seen that guy. Maybe a new one, maybe it was because his swift was at three in the morning and you were home after work much ealier than that.

" I really need a hot shower. "

Your thoughts became silent after you met your door. The same one. Everything was odd, bit this, wasn't. And so, you began to think... further. Did you really want to come back? After all you went through? You didn't know if you could manage spending the night where... well. So you stood. Staring daggers with half-lidded eyes to the place that was supposed to be your mausoleum. Your private sanctum to the after light. Your legs began to ache, but yur body didn't move. Just... staring. Pondering silently.

" Hey! Are you... okay? You've been staring at your door for... a long time. "

The person behind you tried to chuckle it out, even though they noticed your distress. You turned around slowly. There, you took notice of a woman with short hair, and you had to look up to meet her gaze — she was probably around 170 meters tall — as she had her arms behind her back now, smiling at you.

" Ya know- I almost thought there was a ghost here- sorry, okay. That wasn't funny. "

You sighed, smiling a bit. You took notice of her intentions. Still, she began rambling a bit, trying to present herself, even if she was messing up her kind intentions with slightly rude words.

" I'm Marceline. If you want to, we could... chat? You certainly look like you need it. Like, I was going to invite you in, because- you've been staring daggers at your doorknob like its your deadliest enemy but that would be really weird and all- "

You looked at her in awe, as if she was an alien hidden in plain sight. That woman was downright beautiful. Even troubled with you, she had a confident that just surrounded around the corridor, calming your earlier much tensed muscles. You couldn't help but wonder if she found you attractive too for a few seconds, but pushed that thought away once again.

No one wanted you for a reason, she was just a good person, like you tried to be to others. And, even if she planned to kidnap and murder you, your exhaustion with life really didn't care at all for trusting this stranger could leave to the deadliest roads. Losing contact with everyone you knew meant that you were even more lonely than before. So, you rolled a dice. It's a win win situation. One, you get a friend that might actually care. Two, you die. So, in the middle of her words, you interrupted. You told her your name, but this time, you had a weak smile to your face.

" Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. "

So, you breathed in deeply. Trying to catch amy ounce of courage outside, to fill your loungs. Softly, you replied to her invitation.

" That- it... would be nice, thank you. "

And then, she smiled eagerly, holding out her hand for you to hold it. And you did. There was something... disarming about her. And, welp. You wouldn't refuse a woman like her even if you were gutted to death. Your hand raised, landing on her palm. Then, her fingers closed aorind your hand.

" She's kinda strong... "

You thought began to drift from your melancholy to the beauty in front of you, trying to blur any obscene ideas and sending them back to the shadow realm where they belong, you didn't want to make a scene and ruin the moment you were having with her. She, who had been so kind, and yet, so firm. It reminded you of someone, but your thoughts were quickly forgotten as you were pulled inside her apartment, smiling as if Marceline, much like you, hadn't contact with anyone in weeks. Maybe she was just as desperate as you. Maybe that's why you both were so deranged, each in their own way. You, too willing. Her, too eager.

" Welcome to my humble abode! I hope you dont mind some- yikes. "

She stopped in her tracks, picking up a nearby collection of mangas that were just scattered around the living room. You knew right then and there that you'd be best friends with her, you told yourself delusionally.

" Sorry about the mess, I kinda bumped on those and got lazy to clean up. "

For the first time in a long while, the air began to feel lighter for you. From your lips, a chuckle came out. Relief singing inside your core from the small normalcy she was giving you. You entered the place just fine, watching her give you a spare key as she locked up the door, just in case if something happened. Quickly, and like a wet dog who lost its owner, you followed her. You were going to help pick up the scattered mangas remaining, crouching down to do so before she held your shoulder, stopping you.

" So, like. You're all wet- shit. I didn't need to phrase it like that... Did you lose your umbrella or something? Its also really late. Oh! By the way, you can call me Marci. "

You nodded, moving up again as she continued, taking her hand off of your shoulder and then pointing to another door.

" There's a bathroom right there down the first door, then turn left. At the right is my room. Ill go there to see if i can get some clothes for you, but they're probably going to be way bigger... im gonna look up. Call me if you need anything. "She waved, heading to her room to do a she said. And you went down the hallway, following her instructions. Twisting the doorknob in a following motion that moved the door open then closed it, you began to take off your clothes. Piece by piece, the garments made their way to the ground one by one. You paused. What about your underwear? You couldn't wear your panties again, but you also couldn't wear hers, either. Thankfully, you've brought your bag with you. And in it, you had found another pair that was particularly dry.

With your earlier worries gone, you began to take a quick, but enjoyable hot bath after entering the bathroom stall. The water, now pleasing, made your eyes close softly at the feeling. Then, after pouring the liquid soap onto your hands, you began to take care of yourself. Tending to the dirty, and mostly, the sore spots.

" I wonder how long i slept there... "

You didn't know why, but this place, this house, made you feel that odd sense of nostalgia once again. You felt a tease here, which was so strange that any normal person would be calling up the police and heading to a psychiatric ward. Stil, your mind was too battered and out of it to thinj of that. Maybe another day, but not today.

After finishing with the clean up, you opened the shower again. Once done washing everything away, you took notice of a towel right above the side of the sink. Maybe Marci let it there when you were having your sweet time. And some spare of clothes were noticed by you, too. Quickly, you dried yourself. And even quicker, you had a pair of clothes back on. You had yourself a normal pair of baggy black pants and a blac T ahirt. These were comfortable, and good enough to sleel, so you weren't complaining. You didn't want to become or make any trouble for her... maybe you should open up a bit, too. You wanted to show that her kindness reached you. So, with a bit more or so confident steps, after letting your clothes the dry off, you made way to her room, knocking, before opening slightly.

" Hey. So. I just... wanted to thank you, for.. everything you've been doing. I'm... I- just- ...wanted you to know that im grateful. "

She smiled back at you, waving it off with her left hand.

" Don't worry girly, its all fine "

Her words had you stuck in your place. Should you tell her? You didn't know if she would actually understand. I mean, it's... just you, right? She wouldn't hate you for you being... you. Would she? Well, at least until now, she didn't show any signs of anything like that.

" I- im... actually-..."

She tilted her head slightly to the right while you mumbled, your words stuck inside your throat as she sat up from her bed, trying to pay attention to you. Even with anxiety bubbling ip, you kept going

"... Im gender fluid. I go- ... by both. Just, im okay with you calling me by her just.. please, from time to time... could you? C- call me by him, its- what im trying to say. "

She paused. Then, after a short silence, she nodded. She didn't smile, but seemed more serious. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly as she did, too. She was paying attention. She wasn't brushing you off, nor made fun of you. She just... acknowledged you.

" Okay. I can do that, no biggie. "

She smiled again, but this time, it was smaller, gentler. She was looking at you with... care? Wathever it was, you were liking it. Way more than the usual reactios tk your confession — and you preferred it to stay that way — and this time, it was you who smiled, close mouthed, but still genuine.

" I got the sofa ready for you. I gotta work and i only have a few hours to rest. Goodnight, cutie. "

It was all she said as she went up from her bed, gently backing you away from the door before you made your way to the sofa. Once you were there, and only when you did, she closed her door, and the light below it soon followed. And much like her, you put your glasses inside your bag again, letting it above a nearby corner as you had your phone charging. Tomorrow was going tk be a long day.

As you felt the sun rays of morning hit your eyesight, you quickly went up with your alarm ringing at five in the morning. Right. You also had work to be done. Thankfully, you were under home office, so you were relieved that at least some short of comfort you could have. Maybe you could go to that Cafe? Even if caffeine always gave you a headache, that doesn't mean that would be all that is to it. You hummed, going up from the... covers? When was this placed on you? Was it Marci again? You really had to kiss that woman's feet at some point of your life. With a sigh, you went up — knowing the enemy of the day was just around the corner. You had to get inside your apartment. Your laptop was there, and without it, no work would be done.

However, taking a small peek from the outside of Msrci's room, you realized she was still sleeping. So, rou closed it again. And you always had some post-its with you. So, you wrote a quick note, gathered your stuff, and placed it right behind the door of her apartment as you unlocked the place with the spare key, heading out before locking it again. It it, was written:

Marceline,
Thank you for the hospitality you've treated me.
The kindness youve shown saved me in a moment where I wasn't myself. I'll never forget it, and I also hope that we can be friends. Maybe we could meet at the Cafe nearby the bus stop? I never went there, but the place looks cozy. This is my number, I hope we could talk to each other again. And I also need to give your spare key back.

After opening the door to your apartment, everything felt... different. There was the scent of something sweet in the air, a fragrance that reminded you of lilies and another one akin to melted sugar. Somehow, in the right proportions. You left your bag on your couch, trying not to think at all. You had a job to do. Others shouldn't fail because of your problems. So, oncetthe clock hit five thirty in the morning, you were ready for work — but you wanted to dress up — you weren't going to the office anyway, and maybe looking pretty would make you feel less... you. You picked a pair of high knee leather black boots and a dress with long lace sleeves with roses shapped obto the fabric. The low cut of the dress showed your shoulders, hanging lower than your clavicle. As silver chain with two chains attached to it along with many silver cross hanging above your hips. Picking up silver cross earings from your drawer, you decided to leave the leather black choker with silver spikes and a single hook inside your bag today, just adding a slightly pink lipgloss and no more make up. You didn't want to use it inside the cafe since it could be hot there, so, maybe later.

After pinching your nose for a short while and placing your glasses again, you sighed in exhaustion. Maybe mere two hours of sleep couldn't make your eyesight better out of nowhere, but you were thankful everything inside you was at least functioning. And, well, you felt pretty now. And the superficiality of that act made you feel cared, tended. But right before you left, there was a text popping up to your phone. Once again, you smiled briefly at the image of the circus members in your unlocked wallpaper. Back to your sensed, your finger tapped the digital recognition button right below the audio ones.

" I'd love to!
You mean that one near the park?
I work there! "

To say you were shocked was an understatement. Still, you felt happy. Everything was feeling like a second chance. Maybe... maybe there was still hope for you. The thought made you smile again, heading out of the very place that you didn't want to leave with a bright smile and a sparkling hope to your eyes. Your steps were gradually reaching outside of the building, and your mind stable for now, even if sometimes you still felt a hum against your neck. You found solace in it, like someone was watching over you. It made you feel cherished. So, even without understanding how the streets changed to you so harshly, maybe you had some kind of messed up reaction to the meds and lost some part of your memory. Whathever it was, you unlocked your lockscreen, following the GPS to that said Cafe. Once there, your eyes squinted with suspicion. Everything felt so familiar, but you couldn't pinpoint what it was.

Still, the place was closed. Marci probably had just awakened when she sent you that message, so you decided to wander around. After some time walking, you noticed a small commotion. Curious, you decided to get closer to it. It seemed like there was someone yelling, too. You couldn't make up what they're saying, until you heard a loud snap, and the sound of something — or in this case, someone — fall harshly onto the floor with a loud thud. The sound alone left you on high alert, your nails going for your forearms and gripping on it tightly. Until the person snapped once more.

" Get out of our town, you FREAK! "

The disgust in their words, followed by something you could make up as the sound of a kick, and the fluttering of clothes being gripped tightly made you freeze in place. You were just behind the crowd of people, not being able to see anything even if you stood in your tiptoes. So, you went through the crowd, muttering gentle sorry's and excuse me as you did. Once you were just a few meters away, the shcok was too much to bear. Your bag fell from your hold as your eyes widened. Both in horror and awe.

Were you high?

Right there, in front of you, was... Pierrot? How could that even be true?

" Wh- what's even going on...? "

You muttered lowly. The man was holding Pierrot by his collar, his hand clenched in a tight fist as he pulled it back. And in the flash of a second, he punched him. You gasped, horrified. Mortified. You began shivering, your breathing erratic as you watched the scene unfold. You looked to the sides, desperate.

" Why is everyone just- watching? "

Your thoughts were cut short again as you winced at the sound of another punch — another to his face — and the sight made you tear up.

You had to do something. Anything! But you were scared. So scared. He would destroy you. You didn't want that pain. Not again. Not after that day– you dont think you would be able to survive your way out if you felt another unwanted touch crawling up your spine like a disease once more– But, you couldn't let Pierrot suffer like that! You couldn't let him be a victim like you-! He's too–!

Your mind went silent when blood started to fall from his forehead, the man pulling his fist back again as he shoved Pierrot against the wall, all the while spitting and yelling at the poor clown. Whathever he was saying, you weren't listening anymore. Your mind went numb, and you felt your legs move as you ran forward mindlessly until you felt your body hit against something hard. You were hugging the clown tightly around his neck, shielding him from the cruel thing that dared to call himself a man, trembling like a leaf as his knuckles smacked against your back, making you cough as you closed your eyes shut, staying silent as you cried lowly.

" Shit-! What the hell were you thinking!? You damn woman, get the FUCK out of MY SIGHT so I can bea- "

" I could be the one saying that! What are you doing with my friend!? "

That wasn't your voice. You were too busy sulking down your pain without looking up. You couldn't. You probably looked so pathetic right now, you couldn't let him of all people look at you like that. But still, you kept breathing deeply, looking back as Marceline quickly shut down the man, pushing him backwards and scaring part of the crowd away. Theiy whispered about her, as if they recognized the controlled insanity from her eyes alone. Part fled, and the others merely backed for a few meters, interested in the show as if they were watching an injured animal be protected by its family. Some laughed lowly, scoffing at the whole scene as if they were watching monkeys having a fight at the zoo. Not a single trace of empathy in them. And the ones who did, were too scared. The man that was beating Pierrot is a retired cop, well known for his violent tendencies, and even worse, he's friends with the generals. So no matter what they did now, it would be pointless later. But Marceline didn't care one bit, shoving him away with her own strength just enough to stand firm un front of you and make you feel a tad bit safer.

Marceline... Marci... M... c?

Your whole body stopped, staying frozen for a few seconds. You were inside the visual novel, and Mc had just saved Pierrot. That's why she was so enchanting. Her whole vibe was definitely giving tomboy from her light caramel baggy pants, the white T shirt with silver stars on it with some black tennis and a simple silver necklace hanging below her neck, alongside many silver piercings on both of her ears. She wasnt wearing them yesterday, but again, it was too late at night st that time. You'd totally date her. So you didn't blame the circus cast for falling for her. Once the man went away, she sighed in relief, giving the man a pair of middle fingers as he did, while you turned your attention to Pierrot.

" I- i... im sorry, for jumping into you. I'm sorry. I just- are you okay? "

You saw him smile, widely. Unlike the game, there wasn't any blush. Probably because of the mask. He tilted his head to you, observing silently as you went up, looking to the sides nervously until you hissed, the pain of being hit finally getting to you. You protected him. Well, kind of. You were just a meat-shield, but you seemed at least... happy, to have aided Mc– Marceline. She was going to make him happy, so you smiled with your lips closed.

" Im- sorry. I-... was a real coward. Uhm... im glad you didn't suffer from anything worse– "

Right before continuing, you felt someone pull your hand, away from Pierrot, screaming your name in worry.

" Are you okay!? He beat you, didn't he? Oh im gonna get him right now–! "

" Wait– Marci! "

Marceline also noticed the very much apparent blood falling from Pierrot's forehead, not giving space for arguments.

" We have an aid kit inside the Cafe! Just wait up you two! "

And as she ran away, you began to feel nervous. You were alone. With him. Quickly, you cleared up your throat lightly, looking way up to meet his gaze now. He was tall. Like a damn mountain. And the fact you were short didn't help that fact.

" .... Im sorry. Uhm, do you have someone who could take care of you? "

This was messing up the plot? Yeah. But getting him to safety was your top priority. He nodded with his head, his bells jiggling softly with each movement.

" That's.. great! Could you... point me the way? I know, its.. kinda weird, but.. I wanted to get you somewhere safe. Does that make sense? "

As you told him, you picked up your bag, walking a few meters away since the crowd had already gone. And in an instant, he was right in front of you again. He's quick. And silent. Noted. Then, he bent way down to your level so you both were face to face. Until he spoke right beside your ear, lowly.

" I'll remember what you've done for me today, my dear. Thank you, for your kindness. "

His voice gave you shivers, your pain momentarily forgotten. You chuckled awkwardly from the insane position he was to do that, watching him fix his posture again as your hold on your bag became tighter.

" I'm just glad I could help you.... sir? "

You spoke, tilting your head as you realized he didn't say his name yet. Also, wasn't he supposed not to talk? Maybe he considered you as a friend after kind of saving him with the main chara- Marci. Her name is Marceline. She's your friend. You need to stop thinking about her like some self insert right now Snapping back to reality with the sound of bells moving around, you watched in awe as he bowed performatively, muttering his name lowly with his usual deep tone that made your tiptoes curl lightly and your lips press.

" I am the Pierrot, my dear. It is a pleasure to be meeting someone as kind as yourself.

He spoke with a lovely tone, as if he found a grand diamond in an endless pile of charcoal. And without realizing, you were already following him to the circus right after sending Marceline a text where you were going — and also telling your supervisor what happened to you so you could take the day off — and with that out of the way, you were happy to have his company. And not much time later, you were already at the entrance. There, Bil, known as ticket taker, was standing — having noticed the both of you from quite the distance. And you were preparing yourself mentally for his piercing gaze.

" Pierrot? And... who might you be, dear guest? " You told him your name, and quickly, and resume of what happened.

" I'm sorry if im being invasive, I just wanted him... to be safe. "

After that, you spoke no nome. Too much afraid of his reaction, until he spoke after analyzing you up and down.

" Thank you for your intervention, dear guest. If weren't for you and your friend, one important member of our staff could've been in a dire situation. "

He tipped his hat to you, but you still glanced at the blood on Pierrot's forehead.

" You have a doctor, right? I went to a circus tent once and it had at least a small infirmary. Could you guys tend to his wounds? "

Ticket taker glanced at Pierrot, who was silent as usual, then back at you, placing one arm behind his back and his right hand above his heart.

" Fret not. We have quite the skilled one in one of our tents. Thank you, once again, for your time and worry. "

That seemed like he was expelling you. Maybe he was going to tell Jester about this? Whatever it would be, you merely nodded, waving at the Pierrot while going away from them. He was already in love with Marceline, so it doesn't matter what you do now. And since you had the day off, you went back to the Cafe to tend your own bruises.

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His heart was beating fast. Way faster than a normal human being's. Pierrot couldn't help but let his gaze linger on your retreating form. You weren't strong, you were visibly scared, actually. But you cared. You protected him. You shielded him from pain. You surely, surely adore him. There's no other explanation! Sure, your friend sent the man to the hills... but you. Sweet, lovely, tender you. You hugged him gently, so gently he was scared of returning the embrace. You were so fragile, yet so resilient... he wondered how much you would endure for his sake if your friend hadn't arrived.

" Pierrot. Do join Doctor quickly, you aren't fully healed yet. "

Bil's voice made him react, following the orders quickly before he heard another comment.

" Report this to Jester afterwards. All of it."

Pierrot didn't pause. He couldn't afford weakness. Not now, when he was too weak to protect you at the moment. And you were hurt. Hurting for him.

He couldn't let anyone else see you in that state.

Passing through the countless Doctor's past subjects, Pierrot walked with certain eagerness to his steps, wanting to be done with this as quickly as possible, to be once again back to you. Once he took sight of the taller monster, he quickly went to another part of the tent, the small infirmary, a place Pierrot was very much used to visit every single day — if for you and the circus, he'd endure any pain, just like you did — beginning to settle as comfortable as one could be without their heart nearby. Doctor, seemingly having all the patience in the world, spoke with his heavy accent.

" Good afternoon, Pierrot. Tell me, where does it hurt, and where is starting to heal. "

The words might be demanding, but the intensity was there. Doctor cared about Pierrot just like anyone else from the circus, and having not yet heard of Pierrot's recent fascination, his focus was solely on treating his patient. After all, he wouldnt be a great Doctor leaving his fellow monsters, his family, in pain. Yes. As a doctor, he knows the pain cannot be fully dulled, since psychological struggles could follow one's thoughts very quickly, but directed elsewhere.

His experiments, his wonderful bottles of pain, know that very well. Experimentation takes preparation, and preparation demands knowledge. And the latter, he takes it almost personally. To know how one's mind works, because even with the same structure, everything and everyone is different. Perhaps his fascination with life and it's mechanisms will never truly satiate his hunger, but alas, he'll just have to keep searching and researching. His only true enemies are two: the possibilities of humans discovering their disguises, and two, his own still limited consciousness. He never let out any other unrequited sounds as he tended to Pierrot, not asking unnecessary questions, but trying to offer small things to put the clown at ease. The patients total recovery, after all, was too a Doctor's job.

Meanwhile, a humorous chuckle came from a nearby tent. One's green eyes witnessing all from the shadows while he hummed to himself, watching Pierrot head straight to Doctor's tent. His tongue traced his lips in amusement, smiling sharply as his eyes squinted up in delight while his fingers traced the corner of his jawline. He had noticed the both of you walking towards the circus, and like a predator, he began stalking the both of you, eying the pretty thing right beside Pierrot when you two walked. Another silent laughter left his throat, heading outside once again from one of the back entrances.

" Maybe I'll should play with his pet a little. Maybe~ even take a bite or two? "

Harlequin hummed darkly to himself, taking a few flyers of the circus to have a reason to approach you, even if he had to work for it, he was sure that you would make up for all his efforts.

He just couldn't wait to meet you.

After Harlequin disappeared from the circus grounds, Pierrot went straight to Jester's tent. He was tending to the fools. Well, more like criticizing them. If anything was out of place, he'd have them to do it all over again. Witnessing Pierrot's state, Jester moved his hand, dismissing the fools without any need for words.

" Well then, Pierrot. Are you hurt? "

" ... Im fine. Doctor healed me. "

Jester sighed, tilting his head as his left arm sustained his right one, his hand hovering over his chin lightly.

" I am not talking about the wounds, Pierrot. However, I suppose your heart has found quite the comfort if you let go of your role to speak your name. "

He hummed, leaving Pierrot a bit distressed, still, Jester continued.

" Do you want to see your dear pet? Then off you go. But do all of us a favor, and stick to the script, Pierrot. We both know we have a lot more to protect than the roof on our heads. "

And without a second word, Pierrot hurried out of the tent, desperate to see you, Jester was certain of that fact. He didn't need for Pierrot to tell him anything. The fool's ears were his own. And their eyes, too. He knew everything already. But then, a dark imagery crawled to his mind. You were weak, and yet still managed through pain. How much could you go through without breaking? He was now wondering how shattered would you be. And with a soft hum, he let both of his hands stay behind his back.

" My tent will be open for a few more hours tomorrow. Tend that guest with cautious respect. They've done good, but could still be problematic if Pierrot goes too far. For now, keep an eye on them. If needed, do so closely, Bil. "

A figure could be seen at the surface of a nearby mirror, tipping his hat as in main blue colors until the blurry figure stepped out of it.

" It'll be my pleasure, old friend. "

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" You did WHAT?! "

Marci held your shoulders tenderly.

" My boy, I just had the med kit prepared. You didn't have to force yourself! What if your bruises got worst now? "

You sighed, but let her hands stay on your shoulders as you began talking.

" I just felt like he wouldn't be comfortable. You know? After... what happened. I thought he'd be better with his family rather than some... strangers. "

You felt her hands drift away from you, her left one staying on her hip and the other brushed against your hair lightly. Not in a patronizing way. It was more as if she deemed you as something precious, smiling at you tenderly.

" You're really something else, ya know? Come, let's treat you up, yeah? "

She was just in the middle of her lunch break, but she made some time for you, both heading inside the woman's bathroom of the building as you stood in front of one of the mirrors. Meanwhile, she had already opened the med kit, picking up some alcohol in gel and some cotton, letting it fall on its surface before she paused, her gaze fixated on your back as you undid the zipper of your dress untying the black ribbons behind it as you held the front of your dress. Her silence scared you, so you looked over your shoulder.

" Is it too ugly? "

" Oh no- no no no no no. No. My bad i just, got distracted. I- I'll apply it now. Its probably going to sting for a bit. "

You couldn't see her face, so you just turned around again, hissing out once the cool sensation hit your irritated skin. But you didn't press, letting her continue until she was done cleaning the bruise.

" Its really bad. Do you think you're going to reach it on your own to keep it healing? "

You hummed, letting her put a bandage over the two deep, purplish blue shaded spots on your skin. It was in your back, so you're going to have a really hard time taking care of it.

" I dont know, but I think I'll manage. "

When you were trying to close your dress again, she stopped you. Instead, her hand left hand closed your zipper as the right one held your hip gently, but firmly. Her grip made you bite down your tongue to hold back a shudder, gulping down your nervousness as she helped you close the ribbons again.

" Thanks. "

Her hands left your hips quickly, resting on her own as she smiled.

" No problem! I gotta go now. Keep the med kit, we have a few to spare. Don't worry, I talked to boss about it, and its fine. "

As she turned to leave, you stopped her after fumbling your hand inside your bag.

" Marci! Your key! "

She didn't even look back, screaming with enthusiasm as she hurried to work again with a smile to her face.

" Keep it! We're friends now cutie, we're going to see each other a lot more oftenly! "

You gripped it again, sighing before putting it inside your bag again. You needed some rest, anyway. But you didn't want to be alone, and since you were in another world, it made sense now why everyone was gone from your life. So you decided to stay, sitting at a corner table in front of one of the floor to ceiling triple windows, with your table being the farthest one of the Cafe's entrance.

Letting your hand rest on your palm, you picked up your headphones, turning up the volume as you let one of your fifty four playlists on Spotify playing while opening a game. You were so disconnected from reality that you hadn't realized the shadow that loomed over your figure, and when you noticed something from the side of your eyesight, it was long gone when you turned your head. Was it Pierrot stalking Marceline? Probably. After some time, your head began to tilt. The two hours of sleep finally crawling up from your spine to your head. And without much effort, you fell asleep with your cheek onto the screen, unaware of the clouded glass of the window being licked right at the spot your face was reflected on.

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You woke up slowly with someone tapping your your shoulders. After a long yawn, your eyes began to open. As you did, the overpowering figure of a certain clown in red could be seen, even with his hands behind his back.

" Oh, hey Pierrot. What's up? You need anything? "

You asked while brushing your hand against your cheek, rubbing the skin. He seemed to smile more when he looked down to your field of vision, his yellow yes closing for a few moments when he gave you a paper flower — a red one — that had a slightly metallic scent to it. Your gaze was fixated in it, not realizing the way his left hand became a fist, claws itching open and close again and again as he struggled to keep his breathing silent as always.

" Shouldn't he give this to Marci? Well, maybe he did already. Talking about it, where is she? "

" Thank you, Pierrot. You shouldn't have, really. I haven't done much to be thanked for... "

You muttered the last part lowly, but he heard it as if you had spoken loud and clear. And furiously, he shook his head. The sight of the bells jiggling back and forth drawing a laugh from your throat, smiling once again. For once, you felt grateful that you failed at that moment... at least you could savor this. With him.

He was really standing on the edge. He was growing impatient, but hearing you laugh and seeing you smile at him so tenderly made his heart ache. Not hurting, but in a desperate need. Truly, when he heard your voice, he just knew. Everything about you, just had to become his. Because he was already yours. Still, that friend of yours seemed a little... problematic. She apparently gave you comfort, a sense of normalcy he doesn't know he's able to give– but he can try! Just for you.

" You know, its... really dark outside, I think I slept too much. I'll be going home now. "

As you went up, he was quick to grab your right wrist, turning you to face him fully. Surprised, you almost tried to yank your wrist away, but you stopped yourself. You didn't want him to feel rejected. You hated seeing him sad, even if for a moment or lightly. He saw you as a companion, and you weren't tying to screw anything up this time.

" Please– let me walk you home, my dear. Think of it as a repayment for your kindness. "

You shouldn't do this. Really shouldn't. He already has stalking tendencies, and you really shouldn't lead him to the very place Marceline lives. Still, he was going to find them, one way or another. Maybe he already had, seeing as they probably clocked out an were just about to leave the establishment before Pierrot had awoken you. Probably.

" By the way, have you seen Marci? "

His smile grew small at your question, and the act had you tilting your head sideways. Realizing his mistake, he helped you put everything back inside your bag, leading to a small thank you from your lips. To answer your question, he continued. Even if he hated the thought of you having intimacy enough with Marceline to have a nickname. But again, she did help you with the bruise, so, for you, he kept a smile right back to his features.

" Miss Barista? She said she'd be cleaning the storage room quickly before clocking out. She told me to wake you, fearing that you'd be staying here so late at night. "

You nodded. That sounded like something she'd do. And as he bowed again, opening the door for you, you went right through it, beginning your nighttime stroll with one of your most beloved characters, now turned real. Sometimes, you'd catch him staring. Three times, only. You weren't sure if there were more or not. Feeling like the silence was a bit too much for you, you began talking again. You knew him as a character, sure. But you don't know him. Not this version him.

The real one.

" Is it fun? Traveling with the circus, I mean. Do you have many Pierrot's and, what was the name? Uh, Jesters and Herlequins? Sorry, my circus knowledge is really shallow. "

His eyes widened. Then, smiled from ear to ear. And again, if you could see behind his mask, you'd see him blushing madly once more. You liked to hear him talk, it seemed. And you liked to talk to him. And that made him way happier than he should be. Maybe a little too much as he slowed his steps to walk right beside you. Still, when you mentioned Harlequin, he couldn't help but roll his eyes and click his tongue with his teeth. But he kept it together, tryjng to look at his best for you.

" We only have one for each of our roles. We have our roots from Commedia dell'arte, taking improvisation to our plays and living for our acts. As for fun... it is. The cast is my family. "

You looked at him in awe. You didn't know he was this passionate about his role. Perhaps that was the only sense of identity he has... you should stop thinking about that before you get depressed again.

" You're really intense about that. That's amazing. Honestly, I dont know if I could manage. That's really cool, Pierrot. "

He could hear your heartbeat. Always relaxed when you were with him, even if he casted a shadow over you with his height alone. He gulped down, smiling in a way that was too wide to be innocent, stopping in front of you and holding your hands gently, kneeling.

" My dear, you've made this Pierrot happier than anyone has ever! "

Only now, you realized that you fucked up. He's practically saying that he loves you, loud and clear. You didn't know how to react, so you just watched him do his thing. Seeing he wasn't interrupted, he continued.

" Would you make this clown of yours even happier, coming to my show, in the following night? "

He pulled his hands away, showing his palms to you before going right back up, his clawed left hand sending a few strands behind your ears as he moved closer to your face — only to pull a red colored ticket from its inside — and, much like any mindless person would, you asked.

" Wait-! How did you even do that? "

He merely sushed you with a long finger hovering just shy of your lips.

" Forgive me, my dear. There are tricks you may never know the secrets of, to keep the magic alive. "

You nodded, stopping in front of the building to bid him your final farewell.

" ... I'll go. So, well, see you tomorrow, Pierrot. "

Is it bad that you want to kiss this man? When he was about to say goodbye, you swear that he looked like a lost puppy — shoulders slumping down and all! So, like the insane human being you are, your hands held his forearms, pulling him way down so you could at least give him a gentle peck on his right cheek, pulling away before he cojuld say anything.

" Thank you for leading me home, Pierrot. I'll look forward to your show tomorrow! "

And just like that, you ran away. Going upstairs so quickly like you were running a marathon, inside your apartment as quickly as you had left this morning. Shit. He loves you. And everything was already messed up! Fuck, does Marci have the pink ticket?! You really had to make her forget about the show, and fast. Fuck, your body feels so heavy. Still, you needed a shower. You locked your door, taking away your clothes and throwing them around the house, not caring to pick them up nor thinking about doing that later.

Now, you were right below the shower, thinking about your day as a whole as a song muffled the cascading water that fell right against your skin, the bandage long thrown away inside the trash can, but still never enough to calm your thoughts. Pierrot loges you. So at some point, you would have to deal with Harlequin. You liked his character, yeah. However, you wenrent looking forward be thrown around from place to black because the both of them hated each other. Once you were done with everything, you decided to wear just some laced white undies with no bra, just a light babydoll sleepwear. They were just so comfy to sleep, just like your covers, and this time, you really just wanted to sleep in your bed. Thankful that you were breathing. It wasn't long until sleep claimed you, your stuff carelessly thrown around your house as you forgot about them after your quick bath.

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It wasn't easy, but he managed to unlock your door with a hair clip, taking up your key in his palm and memorizing its shape for the next time, watching your clothes scattered around the house with a creeping heat to his gaze, his hand quickly stealing a lovely pair he had found and tucking tbem inside his pockets. They were a gift for himx after all! He walked silently, but wantonly, aware that any sudden move and his bells would alert you of his presence. So, cautiously, he went closer to you, opening the door of your room and itching closer. With every shuddering breath he had was another step closer, and so repeatedly, until he found himself at the very edge of your bed, climbing up to you — hovering above your figure — as his hair tickled your covered as your back faced him, your head to the left.

" Oh, my dear... you know nothing about me. But I know of you, and will know everything about you. You have no idea what you do to me... even in now, in such peaceful slumber, your very existence brings me to the edge of madness– "

He held back a shudder, his mouth opening in a wide smile as his lips were just inches away from yours.

" But it's fine. Because as we are now, you are be mine. And everything you'll ever be, shall, too. Just how im yours... my love~ "

He turned your body lightly, ever so slowly to make your body feel like it was a willing movement of your unconscious muscles, tilting your face up to meet his lips properly, his long, inhumane tongue brushing against you own inside your tiny mouth. Your eyes squinted in your slumber, fingers twitching at the sensation that seemed to cross the very boundaries of your sleep. He continued, gulping down on everything he could as his hands traveled down. His right pressing against your stomach, and the other almost gripping around your whole tigh with his long fingers. He then sucked, pressing his chest against yours until a meek, shaky breath left your throst, to go down his own.

Great. Now, he was pent up. Having to bite his own tongue to the point he could feel thst all too known metallic taste. He had to leave. And quickly. Because if he stays,

He knows exactly what he's gonna do to you.

And so, onto the night he went. But not before having a wonderful time at the back of your building after killing off the camera system, taking very much care of the lovely gift you had prepared for his arrival, even if you didn't know about it.

He looked forward to see you at the audience tomorrow.