Chapter Text
The room smelt nothing but acrylic paint and the faint sound of brush scraping against the rough canvas. Will is on his thousandth brush stroke with his fifth painting. The pressure is on, he’s skipped three nights already. By the end of his finals, Will’s gonna feel like a skeleton that got pulled out of a grave. Will feels like he is on his last lap in a marathon, the canvas is almost full of paint without sparing a white space on it. Each corner of his canvas is filled with shades and colors.
Will always wanted for his artworks to be displayed in art museums. Except, making it a final project in college was not on his bucket list. He feels like a cloth getting squeezed, squeezing every ounce of creativity that his brain has. He regrets conceptualizing for too long. Their prof gave them three weeks to work on their final project, however, he got too cocky. Two weeks of sketching and one week of doing the paintings.
And that was his biggest mistake. Now, he’s got dark circles on his eyes, half functioning brain, sore hands, and messy college dorm room.
He’s on his last entry and he feels like his fingers would fall off his hands at this rate. He lost count how many times he drank from the jar of paint-water where he cleans his brushes to his cup of coffee. Too many times actually. He might as well paint his insides at this point because why not?
He tried his best to think of art subjects that have nothing to do with Dungeons and Dragons. Will couldn’t think of anything else so he painted the last entry that does relate to DnD. Four of which are more on everyday life, which he kind of hates, but too late to remake them.
On the canvas, there’s six characters: the bard, the knight, the zoomer, and the mage. Then there’s him, the cleric of the group. And there’s only one missing, the paladin of the party.
Mike. As in Mike Wheeler.
Will had just painted his pointed hat, he colored it purple and silver, like he used to wear during one of their campaigns. If he picks up another bottle of paint, he’ll drink it. So, he plops on his bed and heaving the heaviest sigh. He looks at the canvas and sees the one thing he hasn’t painted. Actually, it is the only one that is outlined only with a pencil. The paladin.
Here’s the thing, he does have a choice to just not paint Mike — no — The Paladin. What’s stopping him from doing that is that he had already invited the party to come to their art gallery. It would cause a rift if he would crop out Mike — no — the paladin off the scene, right?
“Goddamnit” Will curses under his breath.
Then he heard the door open.
“Someone’s upset.” Carlton chuckles.
Will looks up at Carlton and he immediately feels envious of him. He’s in a better mood than him. He can’t see any weight on his shoulders compared to him. He still couldn’t fathom that Carlton finished his finals first. And he actually made a request from him to stay out as possible. He hates seeing him just laying on his bed and snoring away from dreamland.
“How’s it going?” Carlton asked as he hung his jacket on the chair.
“Good. I’m almost done.” Will replied weakly.
“That’s good! Right? You’re one step away from hell week!” Carlton says with a cheerful voice. Which it didn’t have an effect on Will.
“I guess.” Will muttered.
“Hey, how about you take a break?” Carlton suggests.
“I can’t!” Will whined. “If I take one break, it’ll be hard for me to focus again.”
“Will, when was the last time you saw the sun outside?” Carlton asked with his hands on his hips.
Silence. Will doesn’t answer. He couldn’t remember. But he forces himself to think of an answer. Come on, Will! You can’t lose to him! He thought.
“Exactly my point.” Carlton scoffed. Carlton puts on his jacket again and pulls Will out of the bed. “Come on. Let’s go.”
“Wait, where are we going?” Will asks.
“Outside. Eat. Get some fresh air.”
He couldn’t even fight him ‘cause: one, he’s an athlete, and two he is too tired to fight back.
Carlton paid for their double-patty burger from an empty, 24 hour fast food chain. It’s Tuesday so it isn’t so crowded. Carlton watched Will devour his burger, he’s only two bites in, and Will is on his last bite. But, before he could eat the last bite, he stuffed his mouth with salted fries. Will can see the smug on his face in the corner of his eye.
“Shut up or I’ll eat your burger too.” Will warned.
“Geez, okay.” Carlton laughed.
Will emptied his mouth before he could speak. “Thank you, by the way.”
“No problem.” He says as he flatten his burger. Will caught him like he just committed a crime.
“Did you just seriously flatten your burger?” Will complained.
“It’s too big!” Carlton defended.
“Then, why even bother to copy my order?” Will asks, defensively.
“Oh my god, we are not having this conversation again.” Carlton rolled his eyes and took a big bite of his burger.
Will managed to let out a giggle for pressing his buttons. At last, he ate his final bite of his burger. Now he’s down to devouring his soggy fries and a soda.
“You said that your painting was based on your party right?” Carlton asked. Will nodded yes. “Then, try to meet up with them. I don’t know, maybe you’ll get more inspiration.”
“I don’t want to make them waste their energy coming here just for a small talk. Let them save it for the actual gallery event.” Will answered. “After this, I’ll get back to work.”
“Will, look at your hand. They’re sore and red. You haven’t slept for days. Take a break.” Carlton held Will’s hand and brushed the back of his palm with his thumb. Will was caught off guard since he barely shows affection or care to him. Not that he’s a jerk, there wasn’t just a moment for him to do that. Until now.
He saw his hand stained with paint, it became dark and rough on his skin. He has a point. He’s right, he needs a break. Will slowly pulls his hand out his gentle touch and takes his soda and drinks it like it’s a beer.
Will look out to the window to see real colors, not the muted colors in their dorm room, natural colors. It feels good on his eyes, it’s like his eyes have been healed from blindness. In fact, he suddenly felt a slight worry that he might’ve used colors that don't match aesthetically in one of paintings.
He recalls how long it has been since they last saw each other. Dustin is nerding away from a science-y university outside Hawkins, Lucas and Max are also enrolled in the same campus with just different courses, Eleven taking small jobs to earn money since she doesn’t want to go to school. She wanted to explore until she found what she wanted to commit to. She’s also in New York, living with Hopper and Joyce, and there’s Mike. The last time he heard from him is taking masters for an English degree, continuing his writing shenanigans. And that’s pretty much about it.
The only people he’s confident about coming to his gallery are his mom, Hopper, Eleven, Lucas and Max. Not so much about Dustin since he is carrying his valedictorian medal. Jonathan is busy being an intern and he didn’t want to bother him. NYU is a big deal for him. And Mike, he’s trying to find an ounce of care about him. Does he care? He does. Would it matter if he comes or not? Yes… No… Maybe.
Will noticed he’s quiet for ten minutes. He breaks the quiet tension between them. “Aren’t you going back home? You’re done with your finals, right?”
“Maybe. I haven’t thought about it that much. Honestly, nothing good will come if I come home anyway.” Carlton answered.
“Why? Are you… not in a good relationship with them?” Will asks carefully.
“I am. I just don’t want to hear my name over and over and over again. They just treat me like a maid.” Carlton explained. “What about you, what’s your plan after this?”
“Just taking a break. I’m not ready to come back to Hawkins, anyway.” Will replied. “My friends kept begging to meet up again there. As if there aren’t any places to meet up again.”
“Anything else you want to try?” Carlton asked.
“Other than drawing, there’s nothing else I can think of. Maybe rot in bed.” Will replied.
“Try dating someone. Let’s go to bars or maybe we can find someone here on our campus.” Carlton suggested.
“I don’t think I’m ready to date yet.” Will says. “And, I’m not a drinking kind of person.”
“Right. But why not try dating?”
Will immediately remembered the words Mike said in the tower. When the abyss was moving down upon their heads. Best friends. Fucker. Is that all they are after everything they went through? He hates that he’s still hung up on him. He’s still wondering. Wondering what they could have been. Maybe his bravery wasn’t enough for Mike to push all the way through. To even say something else about being friends.
Their last farewell went bland. Unlike when Will moved to California, he got a sincere hug from Mike. He even got tears from him. But, heading to New York, he wasn't even there. He didn't even care to see him one last time. Nancy had to make an excuse for him saying that he's sick in bed. That’s it. That’s all. No hugs, not even a handshake for crying out loud. He assumed it was because of their breakup, him and Eleven. The thing is, he was okay after the break up. Like nothing happened. So what could possibly be the reason why couldn’t get a sad yet sweet goodbye from him.
Will isn’t asking much, he just needs answers, confirmation, so that he could finally let go of what's left, if there is, between them. So that he would let go of the past. To move on. To love someone else other than him.
‘Crazy together’. Yeah right. It just feels like it’s only me this time.
His train of thoughts vanished when his shoulder got bumped.
“Hey, you OD’d with soda over there?” Carlton laughs.
“Huh?” Will blinks. “Oh, sorry. It’s just… I don’t know if I could ever date someone.”
“How come? You’re cute, nice, talented. Who wouldn’t date you?” Carlton said.
“Is that what you think of me?” Will asks, there was a short moment of bravery there that lasted for two seconds.
“Sort of?” Carlton quirks his brow up. “What if I do?”
Will’s breath caught it a hitch. He doesn’t know how to answer that. And it was his fault. He opened that door and he doesn’t know how to get out of it.
“You’d date me?” Will blurts out.
Carlton smiles. “Yeah, but surely it wouldn’t be in a sad fast food chain.”
Will laughs. “But, I’m still not kind of sure about dating, really.”
“It’s okay. Take your time at your own pace.” Carlton reassures.
Will and Carlton went back to their dorm once again with full stomachs and refreshed minds. Will picks up his brush immediately, but someone stopped him. Carlton turned him around and cupped his face. Will felt his heart pounding in his chest. Almost like a fist knocking aggressively against his chest.
“Would a kiss make you change your mind?” Carlton asks softly, his breath brushing on Will’s flushed face.
“Maybe. Let’s find out.” Will answered confidently.
Carlton gently pulled Will until their lips were pressed together. Will felt warmth in his kiss. He felt a tingle in his stomach, then a fluttering feeling arose within him. They began to move their lips together.
Will remembered how actors kiss in romance movies he’s seen. So he projected it. Carlton must’ve liked it since he’s not pulling away. Carlton’s hand traveled from his face down to his waist. Will felt him squeezed his waist. Will moved his hands to his arms up to his shoulders.
It only lasted for a few seconds. They pull away from the kiss and assess what just happened.
“So?” Carlton waits for an answer.
Will thinks about it. But, really, what is there to think about? It’s his first kiss and it went well. Great actually. But, does he want this? Did it change his mind?
“I think I’m gonna stick with No.” Will answered.
Carlton pressed his lips together, not disappointed, just stopping himself from kissing Will again. When there’s a distance between them, Will tries to find sadness in his eyes. There isn’t.
“It’s okay. To be frank with you, I just wanted to know if you feel the same way.” Carlton says. “I like you, Will.”
Straight forward, no filter. How could Will keep up with this straightforwardness?
“I like you too, Carlton. But, I guess, I answered my questions when you kissed me.” Will replied.
“And?” Carlton anticipates.
“It wasn’t what I was looking for. I don’t want to waste your time when I don’t actually feel the same. You’re a good friend and I don’t wanna hurt you.” Will explained.
“Cool, guess we both dodged the bullet, didn’t we?”
“Nothing changed between us, right? We’re still friends?” Will asks.
He hates that he sounds like Mike in the Tower. “Friends? No thanks. Best friends.”
“Of course, everybody has kissed their roommates, right?” Carlton joked and it made them laugh.
‘Right.” Will laughs.
“I have a game to attend to. See you later.” Carlton says as he walks to the door.
“Yeah, see you.”
“And, please, you better not turn into a corpse when I get back?” He begged jokingly.
“Fine. Take care.” Will laughed and picked up his brush again.
The room fell into silence again, but this time, it felt lighter in his chest. It’s like he took out the trash that has been stacking for days. Will’s eyes laid on the pencil outlined again, Mike is the last one to paint. The Paladin of their party.
You’re the heart.
Those words echoed in his head again.
You’re guiding the whole party and inspiring us.
Another painful echo rang in his head.
Did he just catch himself making another painting for him? A painting he wouldn’t know the meaning behind? A painting he wouldn’t understand how important it is for him?
Just get this done and put it behind him once and for all, he tells himself. It’s only for a project anyway. Not for him. Not again.
With each brush stroke came questions.
How are you, Mike? Do you still remember me? Are we still friends? Are you doing okay? Where are you right now? Do you still think of me? Are you thinking how am I doing far away from you? From home?
Do you miss me?