Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“Agh, I love Binnie and I love having sex with him but god, I'm just tired. It doesn’t even feel good anymore. It’s just . . . scheduled. And for what? I’m never gonna get pregnant anyway,” Hyunjin groans, running a hand through his hair. He flops down on the couch the second they step inside Felix's apartment. “I’m so done.”

“I'm sorry Jinnie,” Felix says, pouting.

They were talking about this the whole ride home and now Felix knows it’s time. He has to talk to Hyunjin.

It's now or never.

Felix walks over to the dresser and pulls out a fat manila folder that he’s been hiding for months. His hands are shaking when he walks back and drops it carefully on the coffee table.

"Okay, so . . ." Felix says, sitting on the edge of the coffee table right in front of Hyunjin, completely serious. "There's something I have to show you."

Hyunjin pushes himself up onto his elbows and stares at the folder. "What's that?"

Felix opens the folder. Inside are hospital brochures, highlighted sections of printed web pages, and several official-looking lab reports with his name on them.

"Look," Felix says, pulling out one of the lab reports and sliding it over to the other side of the table to show Hyunjin the paper. "I've been doing some research on my own, and I've also been going to clinics. The same ones you went to, and some new ones, too."

Hyunjin draws his brows together in a frown. He sits up fully. "What? Why?"

"I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to get your hopes up for no reason. Not unless I knew for sure it could actually happen. I’ve talked to a lot of doctors, and they all said that I can do it.”

"Do what, Lix?" Hyunjin asks as he reaches out to grab the paper.

“The doctors told you that you can’t get pregnant, but that doesn’t mean that you and Changbin can’t be parents. . . ” Felix is really nervous. He practiced what he has to say a million times so he doesn't hurt Hyunjin's fragile feelings about his delicate health. “I could do it.”

Hyunjin's eyes widen. "Whoa. Hold on," he drops the lab report as if it were suddenly hot. "Are you–are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Yes. I can carry your baby. In the procedure they'd use your egg and Changbin's–”

"No," Hyunjin says before Felix can even finish the sentence. He jumps off the couch and starts walking in circles. Then, he stands in front of Felix, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Are you out of your mind? I want to keep trying! I don't care what the doctors say!”

Felix stands up. "I know you want to, Jinnie, I know–"

“So I'll just give up? I want to have a baby, Felix, I want it to be mine!"

"It will be yours, Jinnie!" Felix insists, stepping closer to close the distance between them. “The baby will be yours! Your DNA. I’ll just carry it and make sure it grows up healthy.”

"It's not that simple." Hyunjin's voice breaks. A tear falls down his cheek and he wipes away angrily with the back of his hand. "It's your body! Your life! What about after? You just go through a whole pregnancy, give birth, and then what? Just hand it over? Like it's nothing? No, Lix! It's not fair to you!"

"And is it fair for you to live with this pain every single day? I’ve thought about this for months. It’s not some random idea. I want to help — more than anything, I just want to see you and Binnie happy. I love you both.”

Hyunjin stops his frantic pacing. He runs both of his trembling hands through his hair and plops down on the couch with a sigh of resignation.

"I'm sorry I spoke to you like that. I know you're doing this out of love and with the best intentions, because you're the only person who would ever do something like this. . . It's just. . . I need to keep believing that one day I'll be able to get pregnant, and if I say yes to this, it feels like I'm accepting that it's impossible."

"This is just an option. You don’t have to decide right now. I just wanted you to know it’s there. And I want you to remember that you’re not alone in this. You two can keep trying. This is just… another path you could take, if you want to.”

Hyunjin's hand presses against his flat stomach like he’s protecting something that isn’t there. “But if I keep trying… I can’t keep killing my babies.”

Felix feels like he got punched in the gut. “Jinnie, no. It’s not your fault. It’s never been your fault.”

But Hyunjin just shakes his head. “My body hates me. Maybe… maybe I'm not supposed to have this.”

“Stop. Just… stop saying that.”

"What do you think Changbin will say?" Hyunjin asks after a moment of tense silence. “I don’t want to, like, let him down, just because I can’t do it myself.” His lip quivers like he’s about to break into tears again.

Felix’s heart breaks. Tears spring to his eyes, but he manages to hide them as he sits down beside Hyunjin and pulls him into a hug.

"He loves you more than anything, Jinnie. I swear, he’d never see it that way."

"I just want to be a mom," Hyunjin whispers against his shoulder. "That’s all I’ve ever wanted."

"And you will be. One way or another, you will be."

"Are you sure, though? What if you change your mind halfway through the pregnancy?”

Hyunjin pulls back and the light smile that graces his mouth fills Felix with relief.

“I’ve thought about it a thousand times. But I also want this with all my heart. I want to help you. And I promise you, I won’t regret it.”

For four endless years, Felix has watched the heartbreak deepen on Hyunjin’s face every time that the test showed just one line, every single line that refused to double. He still remembers the first pregnancy—how he cried with Hyunjin the first time two lines finally appeared after months of trying. And then, how it all ended at three months. Thirteen months later, it happened again—another miscarriage, this one ending before it even reached two months. The doctors keep saying “unexplained,” but Felix knows what it really means: Hyunjin’s body just… won’t hold.

After that, it was just one line, one line, one line, each one breaking Hyunjin a little more. Still, he would say next time, it’ll be positive, even though they both knew, deep down, it probably wouldn’t be.

Changbin and Hyunjin tried everything. Natural cycles at first, then fertility treatments, hormone shots, assisted reproduction that promised so much hope but only brought more pain. Nothing worked. No matter what they tried.

About a year ago, Felix started looking into ways he could help. He googled everything about how an omega can carry for someone else, staying up till four a.m. scrolling through forums and medical pages and crying a little because the success rates actually looked good and the process seemed safe and he just knew he could do this for them. During his research, he learned that carriers usually get paid obscene amounts, but he couldn’t even think of putting price tags on miracles. The thought of taking even a single won from his best friends made his stomach twist. He’s doing this out of love, nothing else. They deserve a child more than anyone.

And Felix knows his body was made for this.

He’s healthy and fertile.

After the longest and most soul-baring talk with Changbin that left all three of them crying, they said yes. Felix is so happy he literally can’t stop smiling for two days straight.

⁕⁕⁕

The little box of hormone shots is open on the coffee table, right next to his water bottle and the pack of alcohol wipes that look kind of cute but are actually intimidating.

He's been waiting for this moment for months.

Months of secret clinic visits, sitting alone in those uncomfortable waiting-room chairs, pretending everything was fine when his friends asked why he looked so tired all the time. He needed to be sure first, to sit through all those solo appointments, ultrasounds, blood draws, and consultations without anyone holding his hand.

He needed to hear the doctor say his body was responding well before he could look his friends in the eye and offer to carry their baby.

And now... Changbin and Hyunjin said yes.

With his heart in his throat, he picks up the first vial and reads the label for the millionth time: Lupron, the cycle suppressor. The doctor's words replay in his head from that solo appointment. First, we start with suppressors to pause your natural cycle. No heats for months. Then the estrogen comes in and your scent glands may become extra sensitive. You'll notice smells more intensely, your body might crave alpha pheromones to ground you. Progesterone later will stabilize everything. Your body will think it’s pregnant and your omega side will essentially go into early pregnancy mode to protect the embryo once it’s transferred.

He draws the medication into the syringe, wipes his lower belly with the cold alcohol pad, and pushes the needle in. It stings sharp at first, like a mosquito bite, but then it's just this warm pressure as he injects slowly.

"Oh my god, I did it," he gasps, pulling it out and pressing the spot with a cotton ball.

He doesn't cry (not yet), but he blinks away the stinging in his eyes.

He feels everything all at once: fear, because of the huge weight he’s going to have to carry from now on, and nervousness, because he’ll have to tell his friends and family, and happiness because in a few weeks they'll transfer the embryo and Changbin and Hyunjin are going to be parents because of this.

⁕⁕⁕

Felix is literally shaking the whole way to the clinic. He's trying so hard not to freak out because this is it, the big moment after weeks of shots that left his butt bruised and hormones that had him crying over and over.

Now it's real. He's terrified but also excited because there's gonna be a tiny life inside him and it's kind of magical even if it's not his.

He's at the clinic alone (he wanted it that way, to feel brave), but Changbin and Hyunjin are blowing up his phone with texts from home.

His bladder is screaming at him because they make him drink like a million bottles of water before the procedure. Felix is sitting in the waiting room squirming like crazy, legs crossed tight thinking I’m gonna explode, this is torture. He read online that a full bladder pushes down on the uterus, flattening its natural curve and creating a more direct path for the transfer catheter, making the procedure smoother, and also provides a clearer view for the doctor on ultrasound.

He texts Hyunjin the whole time. I swear if they don't call my name soon I'm gonna pee on the floor, he sends, and Hyunjin replies with Breathe angel you're doing amazing. They're gonna call you any minute now.

A nurse finally calls his name and Felix follows her across the hallway into the room. The nurses are angels, they help him change his clothes and dress him in a gown, and they hold his hand while he gets into the stirrups (which is super awkward.) His legs are wide open and he feels so exposed.

The doctor comes in and explains everything again (cleaning, speculum, catheter) and Felix is trying to breathe with the dash of butterflies taking flight in his stomach as they get him ready.

The doctor sits between Felix's legs and adjusts the transvaginal ultrasound probe to guide the procedure in real time. The screen shows a clear image of Felix's womb.

Another doctor enters carrying the catheter: a long, thin, tube with the embryo inside.

“We’re going to begin now, Felix. You’ll feel some pressure, but it shouldn’t hurt. Breathe deeply and try to relax as much as possible, okay?”

Felix nods. He closes his eyes for a moment, thinking about Hyunjin and Changbin. Thinking about the tiny embryo about to be placed inside him, and how it will hopefully implant, grow, move, kick… and then one day go home with mom and dad.

The doctor gently inserts the speculum (it's like a little cramp or pinch, nothing compared to the progesterone shots he's been doing every morning.) She cleans the cervix with a mild solution, then picks up the catheter. The tip of the tube is slowly guided through the cervix, using the ultrasound image on the large screen to direct it precisely.

“We’re at the fundus now,” the doctor says. “I’m going to deposit the embryo. Take a deep breath in . . . and exhale slowly.”

Felix takes a deep breath.

He stares at the ultrasound screen as the white line slides into the dark space of his womb. A small burst of white on the screen, like a shooting star or something.

The doctor holds the catheter in place for a few extra seconds to make sure everything settles, then slowly withdraws it.

“And done,” she announces, smiling behind her mask. “The embryo is in place. Everything looks perfect on the ultrasound.”

Felix points at the screen. “Is that it?” he asks breathless as his heart starts pounding in his chest.

“That little flash right there,” the doctor says. “That’s the embry, yes.”

This little light could be the start of everything. Please stay, please let this work, he prays. Because Hyunjin and Changbin deserve this so much and he wants to give them their miracle.

“Now stay lying down for about fifteen more minutes, try not to move too much,” the doctor instructs as she removes her gloves. “After that, you can get up slowly. Relative rest for the next few days, plenty of hydration, and we’ll see you back in two weeks for the pregnancy test.”

Felix nods, resting his hands on his flat belly staring at the ceiling feeling a hopeful glow because technically he's pregnant now.

Even though the two-week wait is gonna be torture, his face almost split in two with how widely he’s smiling because it's the sweetest, scariest, most beautiful thing he's ever done.

⁕⁕⁕

Felix, Hyunjin, and Changbin have decided it's time to tell their friends the big news. They organize a casual group dinner at Changbin and Hyunjin’s house. The place smells like grilled meat and whatever Hyunjin was baking earlier, something with cinnamon that’s supposed to calm nerves but is only making Felix hungrier.

It's a Thursday night, and getting everyone together on a Thursday is practically a miracle. Seungmin basically lives in the library, med school is eating his entire life. If Jeongin isn't glued to his girlfriend, he’s usually babysitting his little siblings. Jisung barely leaves his house these days, so Minho doesn't either (because wherever Jisung is, Minho is, and if Jisung's staying in, Minho stays with him). Chan works like crazy running the gym he built from scratch with Changbin, the schedule is brutal and he's always running around.

Still, by some divine miracle, everyone manages to show up.

There are bottles of soju on the table, laughter, and the usual chaos of the group. After dessert, ​Hyunjin is practically bouncing in his seat from excitement. He keeps reaching under the table to squeeze Changbin’s hand, a clear sign to Felix that they’re about to drop the bomb. ​

Felix clears his throat and glances at Hyunjin who gives him a nod of encouragement.

​"Okay, guys,” Felix starts, smiling. His heart feels like it might beat out of his chest from the amount of happiness he’s feeling. “We, um… We have an announcement. You know how much Hyunjin and Changbin have been trying for a baby?"

“Well, we aren't trying anymore! We're doing it! We're finally getting our baby." Hyunjin says excitedly.

Everyone starts yelling at once, a chaotic blend of screams and excitement that echoes through the whole house. Felix wants to keep talking, but the noise is too loud, so he can only laugh and wait for them to calm down.

​Changbin is the one who cuts through the noise, wrapping an arm around Hyunjin’s shoulder. "Hold on, hold on! We couldn't do any of this without Lixie! He's making it happen. He’s going to carry our pup!"

Jisung's jaw drops open. A piece of lettuce he was holding falls right out of his mouth and plops onto the table. He makes a small, strangled "guuh" sound, but no actual words come out.

Seungmin just squints. He looks slowly around the room and his expression is deeply suspicious. "Is this a prank?" he asks. "Where's the camera? Jeongin, check for a camera. Seriously." He actually starts ducking his head to look under the table.

Meanwhile, Jeongin looks like he's just seen a ghost. His face pales. His hand flies up and he quickly makes the sign of the cross. "Hyung! You can't just–You can't get pregnant out of wedlock! It's a scandal! A total scandal!" He looks desperately from Felix to the others. "Do your parents know about this? Oh my god, do my parents know?!”

“Wait–how are you even gonna get pregnant? Are you supposed to get fucked by Changbin or something?” Jisung asks, and the room immediately erupts into chaos again.

"No! No! It doesn't work like that!" Felix bursts into laughter so loud that he needs to press his hand against his mouth to conceal it as he watches Hyunjin scream at Jisung in fury.

"Wow," Minho laughs. "So you're finally putting that famously wide pelvis of yours to good use, Yongbok-ah." He shapes a big circle in the air with his hands. "You're gonna look so round. I'm gonna pat your belly every single time I see you."

Felix’s face heats up, his cheeks turning bright red. "Yah!" He grabs a napkin and throws it right at Minho's smirking face, but he can't stop laughing.

He then tries to explain how the whole process works (clinics, contracts, hormones, all of it) but no one is listening. The dinner table is pure chaos.

But then there’s Chan.

Felix keeps sneaking glances at him every five seconds. He’s so calm that Felix’s stomach ties itself into a nervous knot. Does Chan not like this? Is he upset? Felix needs to know what his hyung is thinking, because Chan’s opinion really matters to him.

When the noise finally fades, Chan turns to them and smiles at Hyunjin, Changbin, and Felix, and the knot in Felix's stomach loosens at the sight of that smile, just a little.

Seeing that Chan has caught him staring, Felix can't hold back anymore. "Channie? You haven't said anything!"

“I’m just . . . processing," Chan says. “But I’m really happy for you guys. Congrats." He reaches across the table and gives Felix's shoulder a squeeze. "You're a good friend, Lix. Really."

Felix's heart flutters with happiness, relief, and hope.

Still, he can’t stop stealing glances at Chan across the table. His reaction had been so... typical of Chan. But compared to everyone else's drama, it felt almost weird, but then again, this was just how Chan was. He is the group's rock. He already must be thinking about setting up a nursery.

As the meal ends, Hyunjin and Changbin are cornered by Jisung, who is extremely curious, and Seungmin, who is still suspicious. Felix grabs a shaky tower of dirty dishes to escape the chaos and makes his way to the kitchen.

Chan is standing by the counter with his back facing Felix. He’s loading the dishwasher when he notices him standing there out of the corner of his eye and gives him a small smile.

"Hey, Channie-hyung?"

"Yeah, Lix?"

"Just. . . I wanted to see how you were doing. You know, about the whole... thing." Felix nods towards the living room. "What do you really think?"

Chan turns to face Felix. "I meant what I said. It's amazing. It's a really brave and kind thing you're doing."

"Yeah but–” Felix nudges him gently with his elbow. "Come on. Give me the real thought, hyung."

He looks at Felix for a moment, and says, "My real thought? My real thought is that you have the biggest heart of anyone. Hyunjin and Changbin are very lucky to have you. Just–Just make sure you're doing this for yourself, too, okay? It's not just for them. It's a long road. And if you ever need anything, you can come to me."

It's big-brother advice, exactly what Felix expected to hear. His words are enough to make the knot in his abdomen unwind. This is just Chan being Chan.

"Thanks hyung. I will.”

⁕⁕⁕

Felix is pregnant.

Those two weeks felt like two months. From the moment he walked into the clinic–he could still see the white ceiling while lying on the exam chair, feeling so nervous–until he went back there for the doctor to confirm it with a blood test.

It’s real. After the endless waiting, it's finally real.

The inevitable moment arrives. Changbin and Hyunjin push a credit card towards him to cover every vitamin and doctor visits. They’re trying to put a price on the gift Felix is giving them.

But Felix just pushes it right back. He knows surrogates usually get paid, that’s the normal thing, but seeing that plastic card feels gross. It makes him feel like he’s breaking his promise. He’s not doing any service. This is pure love. He’s super strict about it and he won’t take a single dime. He wants it to be a real gift, straight from the heart.

Their job is just to enjoy the future, while his focus stays on making that joy possible.

The first few months are pretty normal, but the effects hit hard. Morning sickness hits like a punch to the gut, lasting for weeks, and leaving him totally drained.

His emotions are a total rollercoaster these days. There’s no rhyme or reason to them at all.

One moment he’s doing laundry, blasting TWICE at full volume through his headphones, and the next he’s kicking the washing machine in frustration because he completely forgot to add detergent.

And then there’s the time he’s sitting on the ground with Jisung, laughing and joking while they eat lunch together and then suddenly Felix is in tears because a pigeon showed up and started pecking at the crumbs from their meal.

It’s exhausting.

But none of the chaos around him changes his routine. Mornings are still just for classes. Afternoons are for his work-from-home job, with his laptop resting on his growing belly. He sticks to the schedule like it’s the only thing keeping the world from completely spinning out of control.

When he shared the pregnancy news with the group it was pure chaos (screaming, hugging and a million questions.) Once the excitement died down, the gifts started coming, a hoodie from Seungmin that smells like vanilla and fresh laundry, a t-shirt from Chan, a fluffy sweater from Jeongin, a beanie from Jisung, and a scarf from Minho.

They're all scattered on his bed, piled into the saddest little nest, surrounding him with pack scent so he can pretend he’s not completely alone.

His phone is constantly buzzing on the nightstand. Hyunjin sending did u eat protein today angel?? with fifteen heart emojis, Changbin spamming memes of buff babies, the group chat exploding every five seconds. It makes him smile and feel loved… but every notification stabs him in the chest because it’s not the same, it's a reminder that his apartment is empty, that no one is here to curl around his belly when the pup kicks or rub his back when it aches or just hold him until the loneliness stops clawing up at his throat.

His hormones are absolutely unhinged. His scent explodes out of him in a sweet and milky cloud that screams pregnant omega, protect me! to everyone within a five-mile radius. It's supposed to pull his pack in close, make them scent him and cuddle him until he stops shaking, but instead he’s just leaking all that needy baby-on-the-way smell into an empty bedroom.

He builds the prettiest nests every night. He piles hoodies, blankets and every single gifted shirt, but they’re just clothes, cold and still and wrong without a warm body actually in them. Every time he buries his face in them he wants to scream because it’s not enough, it’s never enough. It’s not the same as having arms around his waist.

At night he curls into the tightest little ball, drowning in Changbin’s old gym shirt and Hyunjin's silky one. He tucks his face so deep that he can almost pretend they’re really there. Almost. The hollow ache in his chest doesn’t care how many shirts he steals; it just keeps growing, whispering that clothes will never be enough,

His omega is screaming for someone to hold him, to scent him, to just be here. But all he has are stolen shirts and a pillow he cries into every night because he’s so, so lonely it feels like he’s drowning.

⁕⁕⁕

Felix wakes up with dried saliva crusted at the corner of his mouth. He blinks the sleep away from his eyes and lets out a loud yawn. The faint, bitter aftertaste of last night’s decaf coffee lingers on his tongue—he’d needed it to stay awake while studying.

He sits up slowly in bed. The long-sleeved t-shirt clings uncomfortably to his sweaty skin, so he pulls it off and tosses it aside, leaving him in just a tank top. He stretches his arms and legs with a low groan, yawning again and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed to stand up.

He scrunches his nose at his own scent filling him –sweet milk, vanilla, a hint of coffee, and the faint trace of banana tart he ate last night, probably still buried somewhere in his nest.

He pads over to the door, already thinking about raiding the fridge for whatever he can find. The morning sickness has mostly faded by now—as long as he avoids anything too spicy.

When he makes his way to the living room while rubbing sleep away from his eyes, he freezes mid-step at the sight of his friends.

"Oh. . . good morning? What are you all doing here?" he says, totally confused.

Everyone inhales at the same time. His scent–fresh from sleep–fills the air.

Changbin looks up from the couch. "Hyung's idea, we wanted to check on you." He stands up, walks over to Felix and rubs his chin against his scent gland, like he does every time he visits–a sign of protection since Felix is carrying his pup. "You good?"

Felix leans into the touch, a deep sigh slipping past ⁹his lips. The moment Changbin’s scent brushes against his gland, he feels himself relax, his shoulders slumping.

For a second, everything makes sense again.

The confusion, sadness, and loneliness disappear. This is what his body’s been craving, what he has been screaming for. Safety.

“I’m fine,” he whispers, exhaling softly.

"How are my babies doing?" Hyunjin hugs him, sniffs his hair and neck and pulls back with a loving smile. “You’re doing great.” he murmurs. Felix forces a smile.

But that's not all. Jeongin is a mess because he doesn't have the confidence of the older alphas. He tries to scent him but his ears turn pink. He takes half a step forward, drawn in by Felix’s new scent. Then he seems to remember himself and takes two steps back, looking guilty.

Then Jisung hugs him from behind, pressing his face against Felix's back, covering him in his calming pheromones. Minho doesn't even get up from the couch. He just sniffs the air in Felix's direction and says, "Yep. He's definitely pregnant."

Seungmin shoves Changbin aside with his shoulder to make space. He reaches over and gives Felix’s belly a couple of pats. Suddenly, Felix is at the center of a tight huddle of bodies, with everyone leaning in and sniffing him. The scents of Changbin and Hyunjin are drowned out by everyone else.

""Uh, guys... Hey, could you guys... Could you maybe–” He takes a step back and bumps into someone.

That's when Chan moves. "Yah!" he yells in his 'hyung tone’. "Everyone, back off now."

He strides into the middle of the circle with his arms out, herding the others back. He pushes a startled Changbin back a step and grabs Jisung by the shoulders and pulls him away from Felix.

“We were just–" Jisung starts.

"I don't care! You're suffocating him! Kitchen. Now."

The disperses, looking guilty.

Chan turns to Felix, his expression softening, but he keeps a distance–a distance that’s obvious after what just happened.

"Sorry, Lix. Are you okay? They didn't mean to. They just–It's. . . new for all of us." He gestures vaguely, his eyes moving slowly from Felix's shoulder to the floor and then to the window. Anywhere but his face.

Felix, finally able to breathe again, just nods. “I—I’m good, hyung.” He tilts his head to the side and says, “But… you’re the only one who hasn’t scented me yet.”

He tugs down the collar of his shirt just enough to expose his neck and collarbone, and his sweet, milky scent blooms instantly in the air, stronger than before.

The pheromones from the others fill the air, and Felix feels dizzy from it all. But it’s Chan’s utterly stunned expression that finally snaps him back. He feels his cheeks flush with warmth when he realizes what he just said (and did).

Chan’s eyes widen in surprise. He hesitates for a moment like he’s not sure he heard right, but then he moves his hand to cup the side of Felix’s neck and leans in, and brushes his nose against his scent gland.

Overwhelmed, Felix squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. Shapes and colors dance across his eyelids, his scent turning sweeter.

Chan quickly pulls away from Felix.

"Gotta… check on the food" Chan says and practically flees into the kitchen, leaving Felix alone.

The spot on his neck feels like it’s burning. Felix pulls his collar back up, a kind of weird sensation spreading in his chest. That felt… strange.

After that weird moment, Felix flops down on the couch, feeling so overwhelmed. Sometimes all the alpha attention feels suffocating, but right now, with his friends around him, he doesn’t feel so alone.

The rest of the morning feels off. He can hear the others joking around in the kitchen, but his mind is stuck on what happened. He replays it in his head how Chan barely looked him in the eye.

It doesn’t make sense.

Chan is always the first to check on him. He’s the protective and caring hyung, so why does he act like being near Felix is painful? Is he doing something wrong? Is Chan upset with him?

Maybe. . . maybe Chan doesn’t actually approve of the pregnancy. Maybe he’s just pretending to be okay with it in front of others. The thought hurts.

In the kitchen, Chan is busy cooking breakfast for everyone.

Felix finally stands up and starts walking towards him, wanting to ask if he’s okay or just talk like they always do, but Chan quickly starts plating the food. He fills seven plates, sets them on the table, and without looking up says, “Breakfast’s ready. Eat up, kids. I have to head to the gym.”

Felix's words die in his tongue. Chan doesn’t even glance at him, he just keeps moving and grabs his jacket from the back of a chair.

The others barely glance at Chan. They’re already grabbing their plates, laughing about something Jisung said. Chan slips out the door a minute later, and no one even notices he’s gone.

Felix draws his eyebrows together, mouth twisting in a worried pout. His own sweet scent–which usually comforts him–now just makes him feel anxious and small.

What's wrong with his hyung?

⁕⁕⁕

Week twelve leaves Felix mentally and physically exhausted.

He and Jisung have an early exam (data structures, starting at 7:40 a.m.) and Felix is extra careful this morning. He packs the progesterone shot in the little cooler bag with an ice pack and tucks it into his backpack.

He’d never forget something this important–not when the shots are scheduled strictly for 8:30 every day–but he knows the timing will be tight. If the exam runs long, there’s no way he’ll make it home and back for the next lecture.

The test drags on forever, but they finally finish at 8:23. Felix checks his phone the moment they’re out in the hallway. His heart starts racing. No time to go anywhere proper.

Felix just grabs Jisung's wrist and drags him towards the second-floor bathroom in the humanities building–the one that is always empty and kind of gross, but private.

They lock themselves in the biggest stall, The place smells like old bleach and desperation, but whatever. Felix pulls the cooler bag out of his backpack, unzips it, and pulls out the syringe.

Jisung’s face goes from confused to horrified. “Oh no. Nope. No no no. Is that the giant needle?”

“It’s my last one,” Felix says. He’s anxious, but happy to end this torture. “Please, Sungie. I can’t reach properly anymore and I’m running out of un-bruised spots.”

Jisung looks like he’s about to faint. “I have actual needle phobia, Lix.”

“You don’t have to look. Just–” Felix’s voice breaks a little. “Just help me pull my pants down a bit and hold my hand super tight. Please.”

Jisung groans dramatically but nods. Felix unbuttons his jeans and tugges it down just enough to expose one very bruised cheek. The skin there is a patchwork of purple and yellow spots from weeks and weeks of shots.

“Okay, ready,” Felix mutters, grabbing an alcohol wipe.

Jisung squeezes his eyes shut, and carefully tugs the fabric a bit lower. Then he grabs Felix’s free hand and squeezes so hard it hurts.

“You got this,” Jisung says. “You’re growing a whole human, you can stab yourself one more time.”

Felix laughs, lining up the huge needle. He takes a deep breath, counts to three, and pushes it in.

The sting is familiar now, sharp and burning, but he doesn’t flinch as much as he used to. He presses the plunger, counting in his head like the nurse taught him. Ten seconds feel like forever.

Jisung’s grip tightens even more. “Tell me when it’s over.”

“Almost . . . done,” Felix says, pulling the needle out and slapping on a band-aid with trembling fingers.

Jisung peeks one eye open, sees no blood, and immediately pulls Felix into a hug. “Never ask me to do that again.”

Felix laughs. “I'm sorry.”

They sneak out separately five minutes later–Felix first, trying to walk normally–so nobody suspects the two of them were doing anything weird in the bathroom.

⁕⁕⁕

His little baby bump is finally starting to show, and Felix couldn’t be happier. He has no idea how long he spends staring at his own reflection, but it's definitely more than he should. It's only when he realizes he's about to be late for his algebra class that he snaps out of it. Before leaving the bathroom, he can't resist taking a photo of his belly. While waiting for the elevator, he sends it to his group chat with his friends. Almost immediately, the responses flood his phone–heart emojis, baby bottles, and a bunch of “AWWW”s.

It's only four blocks to the university, but he calls an Uber anyway. Everyone has replied or reacted… except Chan. The ride is less than five minutes, and once he's on campus, he runs after Jisung, who's also clearly late.

“Awww, Lixie! Your belly!” Jisung wraps his arms around his waist to squeeze the life out of him, covering him with happy pheromones.

“It’s growing!” Felix says, refreshing the chat over and over, waiting for a message from his hyung.

“Minho started talking about wanting a baby. He says it turns him on to imagine me pregnant,” Jisung laughs. “Lix!”

“What!” Felix jumps, startled.

“Did you even hear me? Who are you texting?” Jisung asks, leaning over to peek at his phone.

“No one.”

“Then why can’t you look away from your screen?”

“I am just. . . seeing what everyone replied to the photo,” Felix mumbles and slips his phone into the pocket of his pants.

Anxiety is slowly seeping into his bones

They hurry into the algebra building together. Jisung is still talking excitedly about Minho's sudden baby fever. Felix nods along, but his mind is totally elsewhere, completely consumed by the heavy weight of his phone in his pocket that refuses to buzz with a notification from one specific person.

He can't concentrate in class at all. His leg bounces under the desk, his fingers keep unlocking his phone every five minutes just to stare at the blank notifications. Even Seungmin–who literally never answers messages–sends a happy dog emoji.

Felix junts his bottom lip out in a pout.

The second the professor dismisses them, Felix is on his feet. He mumbles some quick excuse to a disappointed Jisung who was already offering to buy them both lunch (“sorry, I just remembered I have to… uh… do something!”), and practically bolts out the door. Alll he can think about is finding out why Chan is ignoring him.

Changbin and Chan's gym isn't far from campus, so Felix heads straight there.

Felix sees them almost right away. Chan is helping Changbin with the bench in the corner. Felix walks over, trying to look casual as if he just happened to drop by.

Changbin finishes his set, sits up, and wipes the sweat off his face with a towel. A big grin spreads across his face the moment he sees Felix.

"Lixie! Hey! What are you doing here?" he asks. He looks so happy and surprised.

Chan turns around. He looks surprised for a second too, then his eyes drop to Felix’s round belly which is now clearly visible through his tight sweater. "Hey, Lix.”

“Hi,” Felix says, patting his stomach and trying to sound casual, his heart rate jumping to its highest point today. “I was nearby . . . I just wanted to visit the future daddy.”

Changbin laughs and steps closer, his eyes going straight to Felix’s belly. "Aw, look at that. Hi, little one," He reaches out and rests his hand on the small bump, smiling at it like it’s the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. "It’s getting so round.”

"It's getting bigger, right?" Felix asks, the ugly anxiety about Chan fading a little under the warmth of Changbin's excitement.

"So much bigger," Changbin breathes out, completely captivated. He keeps his eyes locked on the curve for a long moment before finally looking up. "And you look so good."

"Thanks, hyung.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Felix sees Chan watching them. He is just standing there, completely quiet like a statue.

Felix takes a small step towards him, feeling encouraged. "Hey, hyung… did you, um, saw the photo I sent? In the group chat?”

Chan finally seems to snap out of it. "Ahm. Oh no. Sorry. I've been so busy.”

"It's okay," Felix says, even though it kind of isn't. The non-reply has ruined his whole morning. "You can . . . you know. See it in person now."

He lifts the hem of his sweater to show him the baby bump, smiling so hard that his eyes crinkle into crescents.

Chan looks like he almost forgets how to breathe as he stares at Felix's baby bump. He tries to hide it with a weak smile. "Your little bump is really cute, Lix.” He reaches out like he’s going to pat Felix's bump but pulls his hand back at the last second, rubbing the back of his neck instead. "I'm happy for you guys. Really."

"Thanks, hyung." Felix says, but the words feel hollow and empty because Chan has been so distant and weird for weeks now.

"Alright, I gotta get back to it," Chan says, turning and focusing on the weights again.

"Okay. Bye, hyung." Felix watches him walk away, that weird sting of rejection settling in his stomach. He turns to Changbin, rubbing his belly for comfort. “What’s up with him? He’s acting so strange with me.”

Changbin lets out a short laugh and picks up a dumbbell. “Ignore him. His rut is coming soon, that's why he's like this.”

Felix blushes and forces a laugh, but there’s nothing funny about it. “It seems like he’s been in a constant rut ever since I got pregnant.”

“Yeah, probably,” Changbin says, shoulders shaking with silent laughter as he starts his next set.

“Why are you laughing? It’s not funny. It makes me sad and it makes the baby sad.” Felix whines, rubbing his belly again and glancing back toward where Chan disappeared.

“He’ll get over it,” Changbin grunts, lifting the weight and pretending that Felix and the baby aren't even standing there.

Felix's heart physically hurts. Why is everyone acting so weird?

Back at home, Felix drops his backpack on the floor in the entryway without even bothering to kick off his shoes properly. Usually, he'd head straight to the small table he uses as a desk to start on homework, but today he just walks right past it and avoids looking at the closed laptop as he makes his way to his bedroom.

He beelines for the nest of blankets and clothes he’s built in the corner of his bed. The moment he climbs in, the fresh scent of his friends floods him. It's the only place that feels truly safe these days. He turns onto his side and pulls a blanket that smells like Changbin and Hyunjin over his shoulders, but even that usually soothing smell doesn't help today. The first tear slips out before he even realizes he's crying, then another, and soon he can't stop them.

He cries because his body feels weird and achy. He cries because school is kicking his ass. But mostly, he cries because Chan hasn't looked at him in over a week. It’s silly, he knows it is—he feels so stupid for letting it hurt this much—but Chan is his hyung. And now it feels like there’s this big wall between them, and Felix has no idea what he did to cause it.

“I'm sorry," he whispers to the baby. "I'm just really sad today."

He closes his eyes, wishing the whole world outside his nest would just disappear for a while.

⁕⁕⁕

Hyunjin and Changbin are both holding the knife and giggling while everyone cheers. The whole room is adorned in blue and pink. Felix never thought he’d be standing in a room full of fairy lights and “boy or girl?” banners and carrying a big, swollen belly.

He's trying not to cry because he begged to help plan the party. He had a whole pinterest board and everything but Jisung and Seungmin said no. This is a surprise for him too.

And now the moment is here.

They guide the knife downwards, cutting the cake together–everyone’s holding their breath with phones out–and the sponge is a bright baby blue.

It's a boy.

The room explodes. Everyone screams and claps, Hyunjin launches himself at Changbin, who catches him mid-air with his arms around his waist. They’re both sobbing and laughing and spinning in circles.

“It’s a boy! It's a baby boy!!” Hyunjin yells with his eyes full of tears.

Changbin buries his face in Hyunjin’s neck, shoulders shaking as he mumbles, “Our son, our little boy!”

Felix’s legs are already moving, ready to hug them, but the moment he moves, the whole room surges past him and he’s shoved into the corner. He chokes on his tears as they cascade down his cheeks. A baby boy. It still feels like a dream. He’s smiling so hard his cheeks immediately start hurting but it feels like he’s on the outside, like everyone forgot that the baby is inside him.

The hug circle is massive now, Changbin and Hyunjin's family and lots of friends, everyone pressed together crying and laughing. Felix bites his lip because he doesn’t want to interrupt or steal their moment.

The huge circle finally starts to break apart, people wipe their faces and laugh through sniffles. Felix just… waits. Maybe expecting a pat on the shoulder before everyone goes back to celebrating the dads-to-be.

The crowd shifts a little and he blinks away the tears that spring to his eyes, realizing Chan is heading straight towards him.

Felix chokes out a sob, and Chan barely manages to catch him when he launches himself into his arms. Felix's arms lock around Chan’s waist so tight as if letting go would make him disappear again. All those weeks of Chan ghosting him? Pretending he didn’t even exist? None of it matters right now.

Because right now Chan is hugging him back just as hard, cradling the back of his head, fingers tangled in Felix's hair, and his other arm wrapped around his waist like he’s shielding both Felix and the pup from the whole world. Felix’s nose is pressed into the crook of his neck. He inhales, using the comfort of Chan’s familiar scent to even out his erratic breath. Feeling Chan’s heart beat against his own body makes the anxiety that was gripping at his nerves slowly undo itself.

Don’t ever leave me again, he thinks.

He doesn't care that everyone is still screaming about the blue cake, or that his belly is squished between them. He doesn’t care about anything except how Chan's heart is pounding against his cheek and how Chan's scent is filling every empty space inside him.

He could live in this hug for the rest of his life and it still wouldn’t be long enough.

The living room of Hyunjin and Changbin is a mess of crumpled wrapping paper and ribbons when the party ends. Hyunjin is sitting cross-legged on the floor in the middle of it all, looking like an excited kid on his own birthday.

"Okay, this one next!" he says, grabbing a large, neatly wrapped box from the top of the pile. He shakes it gently. "Ooh, it's light."

"Just open it, you're worse than Jeongin on his birthday," Minho says from the couch, though he leans forward to see.

Hyunjin tears the paper off with a dramatic rip. His face lights up. "Aww, look!" He holds up a tiny, dark green onesie. "It has little bears on it!"

"Let me see," Changbin says, reaching for it from his spot next to Hyunjin. He holds it up in front of his own chest. "It's so small. How is anyone this small?"

"Probably because it’s a baby, genius," Jisung says from the floor where he is playing with a piece of ribbon.

"Next present!" Jeongin calls out, pushing a medium-sized box towards Hyunjin. “This one has my name on it, so it's gonna be the best one."

Hyunjin makes a big show of carefully reading the tag. "To the little one, from your favorite uncle, Innie." He laughs. "You're gonna start a fight with that title."

Jeongin shrugs. "It's true though."

Hyunjin's expression softens with the smile that he breaks into as he pulls out a white teddy bear. "Oh my god! This is so cute!"

"See? Best uncle," Jeongin says, leaning back with his arms crossed.

Felix is melted into the couch, one hand making slow circles over his bump while the baby kicks, happy little flutters like he’s vibing to everyone’s chaos. His heart feels so full it’s basically leaking out his eyes because this is the joy, the miracle he prayed for every single night—the one he’s growing inside his own body for them.

Beside him, Chan doesn't even pretend to look at the gifts anymore. Felix can feel it—those eyes on him—so he glances over from the corner of his eye and, yep, Chan is staring at him. Felix turns to look at him, their eyes lock for a moment but Chan whips his head toward the group, and lets out an exaggerated laugh at a joke he clearly didn’t hear.

Weird.

Eventually, everyone leaves, leaving just the two of them drowning in blue and pink balloons and a mountain of wrapping paper. Changbin and Hyunjin are putting away all the gifts in the bedroom.

Felix is exhausted. His belly is full of cake and his heart is stuffed with love.

He lets out a groan, rubbing his stomach. "I’m gonna explode. Why did I eat three slices of cake?"

"It's okay. You're eating for two now, right?" Chan says with a soft laugh, but his eyes do that thing again (slide down to Felix’s neck for half a second before snapping away), and Felix feels a little twist of frustration in his gut because he just wants things to be normal between them again.

He bites his lip so hard that he tastes blood, blinking back tears because how can someone hold you like you’re their whole world and then pretend you don’t exist sixty minutes later?

He can’t take the silence anymore. He decides to just say it, to be direct and see what happens.

“You know, now that I’m pregnant I like it a lot when you guys scent me, it makes me feel safe . . . ”

Chan nods, smiles, and looks down at the floor. Felix moves closer until their knees almost touch. He wonders if the baby can feel the knot in his stomach, if the baby worries too that maybe hyung doesn’t want to be close anymore, that maybe the pregnancy makes him uncomfortable. A little voice in his head whispers that maybe he’s been right all along. Chan never fully agreed with the pregnancy.

The silence stretches and Felix waits. Waits for Chan to move or speak and stops treating him like he’s fragile or contagious. He opens his mouth to try again, to beg if he has to, but Chan scoots closer and presses his nose against Felix’s scent gland, inhaling slowly and deeply. Pulling a gasp of surprise out of his lungs, Felix digs his fingers into Chan’s shirt.

Chan brushes his nose here and there—along his jawline and right under his ear, across the expanse of Felix’s neck.

He feels it the moment Chan’s lips touch his neck, brushing against his skin. It’s nothing like the way Changbin or Minho ever did–it’s a scent that marks territory, that says mine to both Felix and the baby.

Heat explodes up Felix’s spine, rolling into his belly and prickling down his thighs, the loose fabric of his baggy sweats does nothing to hide the way he squeezes his legs together because, oh god, it feels so good (something he definitely shouldn’t be feeling because this is his hyung).

Finally, Chan pulls back and his breath is ragged, his eyes wide and startled as if he didn’t plan this either. They stare at each other with something Felix can’t name.

His mind spins… Why did Chan do that and why does it feel like he’s claiming us and why is my body answering like this? He opens his mouth to speak, to ask, to beg for an explanation but the words stall in his throat because he has no idea what to say after Chan scented him like a mate.

He can't think straight about anything except how close Chan still is and how much he wants him to do it again.

Suddenly, Chan blinks, like he's waking up from a dream. His expression shifts from dazed to something close to panic. He pulls back completely, leaving a full foot of space between them on the couch.

"I, uh . . . I should go . . . help clean up," he stammers, sounding rough and uneven. He stands up so quickly that it's almost clumsy, nearly knocking over a half-empty cup of soda on the coffee table before he turns and practically runs into the kitchen, leaving Felix sitting alone on the couch.

A few minutes later, Chan comes back from the kitchen, his posture is stiff and he avoids looking at the couch. He walks straight to where Changbin and Hyunjin are standing in the doorway of their bedroom. They'd just come out after putting away some of the gifts.

"Alright, I'm heading out. You two got everything under control here?"

"Yeah, yeah, we're good, hyung. Thanks for coming," Changbin says, smiling, completely unaware of the tense energy radiating from their hyung.

"Thanks for everything, Channie," Hyunjin adds.

"No problem," Chan replies quickly, already stepping toward the front door. "Get some rest. Both of you." He finally looks over at the living room, but his gaze sweeps over Felix like he's just another piece of furniture. "Bye Felix."

And before anyone can say anything else, he leaves.

The warm tingles are gone and suddenly there’s just this icy knot twisting in Felix's stomach like someone poured cold water straight into his chest. Hyunjin and Changbin are giggling over some tiny onesie, their voices all soft and far away like he is underwater, because his brain is still stuck on Chan bolting out of the room without even looking back. Like Felix is something scary. Something gross.

He's surrounded by pastel balloons and baby bottles and cute little socks, but he's never felt more alone in his life.

It takes a while for him to come to his senses and feel like he can finally breathe again. He watches Hyunjin bend down to pick up a crumpled piece of wrapping paper and Changbin yawns as he stacks some cups, both of them looking happy but tired from the long day. He knows he should get up and help them clean, but his legs won’t move. His heart is still racing like he just ran a marathon and his neck is burning where Chan's lips brushed and he hates how much he wants to feel it again.

He wonders if Changbin or Hyunjin have noticed anything, but they seem too wrapped up in each other and the leftover party mess to pay him any attention right now.

Finally, Felix takes a deep breath and stands up. He decides to focus on cleaning instead of letting his mind spin in circles any longer. He grabs a trash bag and starts gathering up the discarded paper trying to push away the memory of Chan’s scent and how it made him feel. He knows it will probably stick with him for the rest of the night.

Hyunjin spots him standing like a lost puppy and immediately drops everything. "Lixie, what are you doing?" He takes the trash bag from Felix’s hands. "We’ve got this, okay? Binnie got you the mint choco ice cream you like. Go sit, you look exhausted."

Felix opens his mouth to say he’s fine, that he wants to help, but the words choke in his throat because all he can think about is Chan’s breath on his skin and how everything feels different now and he’s terrified and turned on and heartbroken.

So he just nods, shuffles back to the couch like a zombie, and sinks right into the same spot where Chan just claimed him.

⁕⁕⁕

Felix has no idea when he even hit the twenty-week mark. Time just flies by in the blink of an eye between school, naps, and weird food cravings. He’s really happy. Full-on glowing happiness that makes everyone comment on how bright he looks.

Every morning he wakes up smiling before he even opens his eyes. He places both hands on his belly and whispers good morning to the baby. He laughs out loud sometimes, because how is this real? How is there a tiny life inside him growing because of him?

He catches himself humming lullabies while doing dishes, or smiling at strangers on the street. He loves the way his body is changing (the stretch marks, his hips aching because they're making room,) and he loves the exhaustion because it means the baby is growing.

His belly is rounder every week, and he cradles it with so, so much love.

He walks slower than a grandma crossing the street, hands hovering protectively over his stomach like someone might bump into him and poof something terrible happens. He avoids crowds, avoids stairs, avoids literally everything that isn’t his couch and nest.

Food becomes an obsession. He stands in front of the fridge for twenty minutes staring at a carton of kimchi like it’s a bomb. Is this too spicy? Will it hurt the baby? He ends up eating the same three safe things on repeat. Plain rice, bananas, and yogurt because every forum post he reads says something different. One says no soft cheese, another says no tuna, another says no caffeine, no deli meat, no unpasteurized anything, no stress, no, no and no.

Changbin and Hyunjin were with him for the very first ultrasound, holding his hands while the doctor showed them the tiny heartbeat. They’ve attended every single appointment and never missed one; Changbin always scenting Felix’s hair to keep him calm and Hyunjin whispering you’re doing amazing.

He walks out of the clinic floating on clouds. His milky scent blooming makes strangers smile as he passes. His heart is pounding in his chest as he stares at the blurry black-and-white ultrasound pics, his finger shaking as he traces the tiny outline of the baby’s foot. He still can’t believe that Hyunjin actually gave him the print after catching him wiping his tears when he saw the little fetus on the screen.

The doctor told him that everything looked perfect, the pup was strong and healthy.

By the time he reaches the sidewalk, the warmth in his chest has spread through his whole body. But then his belly growls loudly, and before he knows it, he’s already heading toward the campus. He feels like he could break into the cafeteria and eat everything in sight, so he goes straight to his favorite food court spot and orders a large bubble tea and a big bowl of ramyeon. He devours it all in five minutes flat, not even caring if anyone’s watching him eat as if he hasn’t eaten in days, because the baby’s happy — and so is he.

He steps out of the food court, one hand cradling the warm curve of his stomach and the other still clutching the empty bubble-tea cup. The second the campus air hits his face he feels the stares. People are looking at his belly (round, tight, impossible to miss now). It seems like everyone on campus is staring at it today.

In the hallway on the way to class, the whispers follow him… A girl’s eyes go wide and a guy’s mouth actually drops open. A flush of pink appears on his cheeks, but not from embarrassment. His scent glands are just going crazy, pumping out the sweet vanilla-milk pregnancy smell that has the alpha taking big sniffs and grin.

Felix slides into his seat and the girl next to him leans in and asks, “How many months?” Other guy asks, “Are you sure it’s not twins?” and Felix bursts into laughter.

He holds his belly with both hands all day. He’s ridiculously happy about how quickly his belly is growing and how round it’s gotten. Soon, he’ll get to hand this perfect miracle to Changbin and Hyunjin. Soon, he’ll watch their arms shake when they hold their pup for the first time. Just thinking about that moment makes every stare, every awkward comment, and every sleepless night so worth it.

⁕⁕⁕

This year, Changbin's birthday party is a small gathering with just their closest friends (a big change from the huge, loud celebrations he threw for the past twenty-seven years.) He said he wanted something quiet and calm this time so they wouldn’t scare the baby, and Felix is honestly so thankful for that because he’s been feeling so extra sensitive lately. Loud noises and big crowds overwhelm him now, making him feel anxious. A whole day of good food and his favorite people around him sounds like a perfect day.

Everyone is setting up the food in Hyunjin and Changbin’s living room, laughing about who burned the garlic bread and passing around bowls of tteokbokki. Then Felix’s phone buzzes in his pocket. A message from Chan pops up in the group chat, running a little late, I'll be there soon.

His stomach drops.

He tries to keep smiling but his mind is already racing back to that moment on the couch in this very same apartment. He can’t help but worry that Chan might be making up an excuse–that he might not even show up at all. He knows it's a crazy thought because skipping a close friend's birthday just to avoid your pregnant friend who you're acting weird around seems extreme.

He tries to push the thought away and helps Jeongin arrange the plates of snacks instead. But his eyes keep glancing at the door. His stomach twists when he imagines Chan walking in and having to act normal around him after… everything. For Changbin's sake and his own fragile emotions, he just hopes Chan actually shows up. Part of him is terrified he'll get another last-minute excuse, leaving him wondering all over again what he did wrong.

The door finally opens.

Chan steps inside the house, hands loaded with bags of food and a bright smile on his face. Felix holds his breath, waiting for the smile to fade, for Chan to avoid him the moment he spots him on the couch...

Chan sets the bags on the table, opens one, and pulls out a pile of fried chicken, adding them to the food spread while laughing as Hyunjin yells at him for bringing more. He pulls Changbin into a big, dramatic birthday hug, then turns and his eyes land on Felix.

Chan smiles when their gazes meet, his expression softens.

His eyes turn into crescents as they drop to Felix’s big belly. “Woah, look at you! You’re really showing now!” Chan says, walking over to the couch.

This is nothing like the distant guy from the baby shower, and it only confuses Felix more.

Chan sits down on the couch beside him, their knees touching. Before Felix can even process that Chan is actually talking to him like a normal person again, Chan leans in close–just like that day–and buries his face into the skin of Felix’s neck, where his pulse is hammering. He scents him right there in the middle of the room with everyone around. It feels like total déjà vu. But this time, Chan doesn’t pull away, doesn't look scared.

Chan pulls back, a soft smile on his mouth. "You look really good. Glowing, actually."

Felix doesn't even realize he’s been holding his breath until he lets it out, his heart hammers pathetically in his chest. "Oh. Uh, thanks. I just feel so big."

He rubs a hand over his belly, not sure what else to say. He smiles, putting up an act of indifference, but if Chan were to hear his heartbeat right now, it would sound just like a sledgehammer

Felix's heart does a somersault in his chest when Chan’s fingers hovers over Felix’s stomach, like he’s afraid to touch. "You're not big,” he murmurs. “You're perfect." Finally, he lets his fingertips brush against the bump, rubbing softly. "How are you holding up? Honestly?"

"Tired," Felix admits, the word coming out of his mouth in a rush of honesty because Chan is actually looking at him, asking, caring, and it feels so good after feeling invisible for so long. "My back hurts all the time. But… good. Really good. I'm so happy."

"That's good to hear. Really good.” He gives Felix's belly one last pat before pulling his hand back. “You're doing so well, Lix.”

The simple touch, the kind words… they feel so nice, so normal. The knot in Felix's stomach loosens (just a little.)

"Yeah, the doctor said everything’s perfect. I'm really hungry all the time now."

Chan lets out a chuckle. "I bet you are. I brought extra tteokbokki, just in case. I remembered you saying you were craving it in the group chat last week."

Felix's eyes widen. "You remembered that?"

"Of course I did," Chan says, and for the first time in weeks, his eyes actually meet Felix’s properly. Then he stands up from the couch, breaking the intense little bubble they’ve been in. "Now, should we go get some food before Changbin eats it all?"

Felix nods happily, a real smile finally spreading on his face as he lets Chan pull him up from the couch.

The rest of the afternoon fills the living room with loud laughter, terrible bad jokes (mostly Jisung’s) and everyone talking over each other while passing plates of food until there’s almost nothing left.

Felix stays curled on the couch for most of it, too full and cozy to move. He keeps feeling these little kicks and flutters in his belly—way more than usual today. He can’t stop smiling to himself, thinking maybe the baby can sense how happy and relaxed he finally is after weeks of feeling sad, confused, tired, and starving all the time.

"Hey, does anyone want this last dumpling, or am I free to destroy it?" Jisung asks, holding it up with his chopsticks.

"Yeah but don't get crumbs on the couch. Again." Hyunjin says, frowning.

Felix giggles when Jisung lets out a dramatic whine because Minho just took a huge bite of the dumpling Jisung was about to eat, basically devouring the whole thing. Jisung smacks Minho’s shoulder. “Yah! That was mine!”

Minho just smirks, leans in, and presses a quick kiss to the corner of Jisung’s mouth. Jisung with a pout on his lips, immediately melts.

Felix suddenly feels a strong kick right in the middle of his belly and waves his hands at everyone. “Guys! guys! Come here!”

The first one to react is Changbin, basically teleporting from the other side of the room. Felix grabs his wrist and presses his hand right against the side of his bump. “Feel this!”

Changbin's eyes widen. "No way! Baby get over here!"

Hyunjin trips over his own feet trying to get closer. "What? What is it?" He places his hand right next to Changbin's. "Oh my god! Hi, baby! It's mom!!"

Seungmin leans over from his chair. "Is he kicking? Can I feel?"

"Me too!" Jeongin adds.

In seconds, Felix has a whole circle of hands pressed against his belly. Everyone gasps and laughs when they feel a strong kick.

"Are we sure there's only one in there?" Minho asks. "That's a lot of movement for one.’

"What if it's octuplets?!" Jisung asks.

"It's just one very active pup." Felix assures them, laughing.

"He's just excited to meet everyone," Hyunjin says. "Aren't you, little one?"

"I can't believe this is our baby," Changbin says, his voice barely over a whisper.

Felix glances around the circle of hands and suddenly realizes… Chan isn’t there. He’s not part of the group feeling the baby's kicks.

He's leaning with his shoulder against the kitchen doorway, arms crossed, and just… smiling. This isn’t the Chan from the last three months. Chan is smiling.

The corners of his mouth lift in a smile before he knows it. It’s embarrassing how happy he is to see him like this.

The kicks finally slow down. Changbin pouts like he's disappointed and Hyunjin pulls him into a hug, laughing softly into his shoulder.

He can't tear his eyes from him. He's about to open his mouth and tell him to come closer–even though there are no more kicks, Felix just wants him near–but Chan turns and steps inside the kitchen.

He comes back a minute later with an orange juice bottle in one hand and an empty glass in the other.

"You thirsty, Lix?” Chan asks, pouring some juice and handing him the glass. Felix blinks at it in surprise, suddenly realizing just how thirsty he is.

Felix cracks a smile and takes the glass. "I am, thanks hyung.”

He takes a sip, eyes never leaving Chan’s face.

"Need anything else?"

Felix nods. "Maybe just that pillow behind you?"

Chan reaches for the pillow on the chair behind him. It’s a little crumpled, so he takes his time fluffing it up, smoothing the corners until it’s soft and cozy. Then he slips it behind Felix’s back.

"Here you go."

Felix lowers himself onto the pillow with a sigh of contentment. "Thank you Channie."

Felix smiles. The nickname feels so natural again.

It’s just small talk, nothing deep. A part of Felix wishes for more. He wishes he could ask what changed and why Chan seemed so distant before. What really happened? Was it all in his head? Is he the problem–too sensitive and overthinking everything? He doesn't have an answer.

But for now, he's just glad Chan is smiling again.

"I should probably head out," Felix says after a while.

The day’s been long af and he’s starting to feel it—his whole body’s getting heavy against the couch cushions. Before he sinks in completely and turns into a permanent lump, he pushes himself up with a tiny grunt. His back is complaining from sitting forever, and his big belly makes standing up without help kind of impossible.

"I'll drive you," Chan says, already fishing his car keys out of the pocket of his jacket. "It's getting dark. No way you're walking or taking the bus alone this late."

Felix turns towards him with raised brows, positively surprised by Chan’s offer and smiles so hard his cheeks immediately start hurting.

"Oh. Okay, thanks, hyung."

He shuffles around the room saying bye to everyone. He gives a super sleepy Jeongin a big hug, promises Seungmin he’ll spam the group chat with the new ultrasound pics tomorrow, and squeezes Minho and Jisung extra tight, giggling when Jisung dramatically pretends he’s never letting go.

Finally he gets to Hyunjin and Changbin. They both wrap their arms around his shoulders carefully (no squishing the bump), and Felix melts into the double hug.

"Get home safe, okay? And text us when you're inside your apartment." Hyunjin says, rubbing Felix's back.

"Thank you for being here today," Changbin adds.

Felix smiles at them. "Thanks for having me. I had the best time.”

Felix follows Chan out the door and they walk across the front yard to the street, heading toward Chan's car. The silence between them is kind of comfortable as they walk side by side, but it’s charged–like all the weird tension from the last few weeks is still buzzing under Felix’s skin. He wonders if the ride home will stay quiet or if he'll finally get some answers.

Once they're in the car and pulling out into the cool evening traffic, the silence only lasts like ten seconds before Felix clears his throat.

“So," he starts, trying to sound casual, as if he hasn't been obsessing over this for weeks. "You've seemed better lately. Like… I was getting worried about you. Did something happen? You were just so… distant for a while."

Chan is quiet for a moment. Felix gives him time, because if there’s anything he knows, it’s that Chan is incapable of asking for help or talking about himself.

"It's complicated," he finally says. "Just... Some stuff I had to figure out on my own. But I'm good now. It was nothing.”

"But… What happened? It didn't feel like nothing," Felix says. He looks out the window because it’s easier to be brave when he isn't looking directly at Chan's face. "It felt… really specific, hyung. Like you were avoiding me. Did I do something wrong?".

“No, Lix. God, no. Of course not. You didn't do anything wrong. I promise, I'm sorry if I made it feel like that. That was never my intention.”

It's an answer… but not really an answer at all. He still hasn't explained why he acted so weird. The vagueness is frustrating, but Felix can hear the real apology in his voice, so he just nods, accepting the half-answer for now. Pushing harder might break this fragile peace they've finally found.

"Okay,” Felix says. He looks at Chan. “I just… It's good to talk to you again."

Chan lets out a hum of agreement, but he doesn't say anything else.

The car ride settles into a much nicer silence after that. The engine hums, the radio plays softly and all the awkwardness from before melts away. Felix slumps in the seat, eyes getting heavy. He lets out a sigh of contentment as a pleasant kind of warmth spreads through his chest because he's finally sitting next to a Chan who doesn't feel like a stranger anymore.

He closes his eyes for just a moment and then the next thing he knows, Chan is waking him up in the lot in front of his apartment building.

"Hey, Lix, we're here."

Felix blinks his eyes open, sitting up straighter and wincing when his back protests from the awkward sleeping position. "Oh, right. Thanks for the ride, hyung."

"Anytime. You're gonna be okay getting upstairs? Those stairs in your building are no joke. I can walk you up if you want."

Felix unbuckles his seatbelt, feeling that annoying ache in his lower back. "I'll be fine," he says, even though the thought of climbing three flights of stairs sounds exhausting. "I'm used to it by now. But thanks."

He reaches for the door handle, pulling at it to open the door but Chan's voice stops him.

"Hey, Felix."

Felix turns to look at him.

"I'm really, really sorry, you know? For making you feel like you did something wrong. You’ve got so much going on with the baby and school . . . you shouldn't have had to worry about me.”

Felix shakes his head in protest. "It's okay.”

"I'm really sorry, Lix.”

"You don't have to keep apologizing, hyung. Really. It's okay."

"I know, but I’m sorry. If you need anything–anything at all– just call or text, okay?"

"Okay. I will. Goodnight, Channie."

"Night, Lix."

Felix steps out of the car, waves awkwardly as Chan pulls away, and starts the long climb up the stairs.

God. He feels so fucking stupid.

All this time he was spiraling, convinced Chan was mad at him, that he’d did something wrong, that Chan hated him or disapproved of the pregnancy or whatever. Chan must be busy with the gym, stressed and overworked (running that place can't be easy.)

And Felix? Felix was sitting there stressing himself out, crying, overthinking everything, hurting himself over nothing.

Fucking hormones.

⁕⁕⁕

Felix loves Sunday mornings because he can stay in bed guilt-free for hours. He's scrolling through TikTok half-sleep when he smells something amazing cooking from the kitchen. His nose is insanely sensitive now thanks to pregnancy, so the moment he registers the mouth-watering smell of kimchi in the air, he wastes no time getting up.

He doesn't even bother changing out of his pijamas–he's wearing a white spaghetti strap top (that used to fit normal but now only covers like the top half of his bump), and a tiny white cotton shorts that barely cover his butt cheeks.

He makes his way to the kitchen–already smiling because he’s sure either Hyunjin or Changbin must have come over to make him breakfast–only to pause in the doorway. It’s not Hyunjin or Changbin in the kitchen.

It’s Chan.

He is standing by the stove with his back facing Felix, looking so comfortable that for a moment Felix wonders if he’s still dreaming. His heart threatens to burst with an overflow of sheer happiness at the sight of his hyung in his kitchen taking care of him like this.

"Chan-hyung?" he murmurs, his deep morning voice still rough with sleep.

Chan turns around and smiles. "Morning, sleepyhead."

He turns off the stove, steps close to Felix, and cups the side of his face in his palm. He tilts his head to the side and rubs his nose against Felix's scent gland. Felix feels himself relax, and his heart does a somersault in his chest because this feels so good, so different from how Chan has been acting lately. He leans into the touch without thinking, a soft purr rumbling up from his chest.

Chan pulls back and smiles. "You smell good and rested."

"I was, until my stomach woke me up," Felix laughs as he feels a furious blush creep up his cheeks. He doesn’t know why the soft smile Chan offers him has butterflies swarming in his stomach. "What are you doing here?”

“I said I could come over if you needed anything. Well, I needed to make sure you ate a real breakfast." He nods towards the stove. "I'm making kimchi, some rice, and soup."

"You don't have to do all that," Felix says, smiling at how Chan insists on taking care of him.

"I want to," Chan says, like that explains everything, and maybe it does.

When Felix finally slides into his seat, there’s a plate of deliciously looking kimchi waiting for him on the table, accompanied by a glass of strawberry juice (his favorite). He looks up at Chan, who’s in the process of serving his own breakfast, and juts his bottom lip out.

“I love you.”

Chan waves a dismissive hand, but Felix can see how the tips of his ears get red.

He laughs. "I can't believe you're here. Cooking. In my kitchen."

"Anything for you."

"So, is this your new thing now? Showing up at my apartment to cook for me?"

"Maybe. If you'll let me. I meant what I said earlier. I want to help you however I can."

Felix watches Chan move around the kitchen like he belongs there. He can't stop thinking that this–this alpha cooking for him while he’s pregnant and always hungry–must be what it feels like to have a mate.

They eat the delicious kimchi fried rice–as everything Chan cooks. Felix can't stop smiling because the food is so good and it feels so weird and so nice to have Chan here.

He takes another bite with his chopsticks, his eyes wander across the kitchen before landing back on Chan–who’s now telling a funny story about something that happened at the gym. Felix feels a wave of emotion so strong that it nearly takes his breath away. He thinks about how incredibly lucky he is–not just because of this sudden attention from Chan but also because of all of it—all his friends' constant and excited care.

Felix thinks about how this baby is already so loved, so wanted by so many people, even before taking his first breath.

It’s a kind of miracle, when he really thinks about it. A little miracle that he gets to be a part of. A profound happiness settles inside his chest as he realizes this baby will never spend a single day without love. He'll be surrounded by a family that fought so hard to bring him into the world.

This is everything he could ever want for the baby… and for himself.

After breakfast, Chan starts gathering the empty plates off the table while Felix rests on the couch.

When Chan emerges from the kitchen, drying his hands with a paper towel, he gives Felix a serious look. "Okay, so… I was thinking. With your balance probably being a little off now and everything... Do you need help with anything? Like, I don't know... getting in and out of the shower? Or washing your back? I can help if you need it. I don't want you to slip or anything.”

The question is so unexpected and so insanely over-the-top worried that Felix bursts into full-on laughter. "Hyung! Are you seriously offering to give me a bath? Like I'm a little kid?"

Chan flushes, dropping his gaze to the floor. Felix can only laugh, but he feels the warmth creeping up his cheeks all the same.

“I just... I read that balance can be a problem! And falls are really dangerous during pregnancy! I was just trying to be helpful!"

Felix keeps laughing, the image of Chan helping him shower in his head. "I think I can still handle washing my own hair, but thank you for the offer. That might be the sweetest and weirdest thing anyone’s ever offered me."

"It's not weird!" Chan scoffs, but Felix can see the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "It's practical! I'm just being practical!"

"Sure, hyung," Felix says, quirking an eyebrow just to poke fun at him some more. "Very practical. If I ever feel like I'm about to fall in the shower, you'll be the first person I call, I promise."

Chan lets out a soft chuckle. "Okay, okay. Maybe I'm being a little extra. But you can't blame me for worrying."

"I don't," Felix reassures him, his laughter twitching into a soft smile. "I really don't. It's cute. Even if it's a lot." He gestures to his belly. "We both appreciate it."

"Good," Chan says, sounding relieved. "Now, what do you wanna do today? I'm not busy. We can just hang out, watch a movie or something."

Felix lets out a long sigh as he strokes his belly. "Honestly, hyung? Today is Sunday, which basically means my only plan is to move from this couch to my bed and not leave it for the rest of the day."

Chan nods, looking around the apartment as if he’s making a mental checklist. "That sounds good. But I noticed your fridge was looking a little empty when I was putting the leftovers away. You want me to run to the store and grab you some stuff? Snacks? More fruit?"

Felix shakes his head, laughing. “No, Chan, it's okay, thank you. I'll probably go myself sometime during the week."

"Are you sure?" Chan insists. "It's really no problem for me. I can go right now. Just make me a list."

"Really, it's fine," Felix repeats. "You've already done more than enough with the cooking and cleaning. But... you could help me with one thing, if you really want to."

"Anything."

Felix nods towards his bedroom. "Help me change my bedsheets? They are... Well, they kind of stink. My nose is so sensitive right now, and I think I've been sweating a lot more at night. It's a whole production to do it by myself now with this.” He pouts, patting his belly.

"Of course!" Chan says, heading toward the bedroom. "Consider it done. Where do you keep the clean sheets?"

"In the closet in the hallway!" Felix calls out, pushing himself off the couch to follow him. He stands in the doorway and leans against the frame, watching Chan pull out a fresh set of sheets.

Chan gets to work, stripping the old sheets off the bed. "Wow, you weren't kidding." He folds them into a neat pile. "These do have a... distinct aroma."

"Told you!" Felix laughs.

He watches as Chan expertly puts on the fresh fitted sheet, tucking the corners in with precision. When it’s time to put the duvet cover on, Chan struggles for a moment, twisting and turning, trying to figure out which side is up.

"Looks great," Felix says, still giggling. "Thank you. Seriously.”

Chan finishes fluffing the pillows and arranges them neatly at the head of the bed. "Now you can enjoy your lazy Sunday in a clean, non-stinky bed."

“Best hyung ever,” Felix says, offering him a grateful smile.

He accepts Chan’s help in getting his bath ready–Chan tested the water temperature with his elbow to make sure it wasn’t too hot before filling the tub–and after Chan leaves for his shift at the gym (promising to text later) Felix slips into the warm water for almost one hour, letting the heat relax his aching back and swollen feet. He only gets out when his fingertips are wrinkly.

He pats himself dry, drains the tub, and makes his way back to his bedroom to get dressed in clean underwear. He also grabs an oversize t-shirt to sleep in because he gets cold easily these days.

He climbs into his freshly made bed. The clean sheets smell like laundry detergent, but he knows they will soon carry the adorable mixture of his friends’ and his own pregnancy scent.

He arranges his nest of pillows and blankets just how he likes it, making a perfect little cocoon for himself and the baby. But his hand brushes against an unfamiliar piece of fabric that definitely wasn’t there that morning.

He picks it up and brings it to his nose. He recognizes the scent immediately, Chan must have left it there on purpose. Without thinking, he exchanges his T-shirt for Chan’s T-shirt. He pulls it on over his head and brings the collar to his nose. It smells like Chan, of course. Like home.

Wearing it feels like a hug, and that piece of comfort is what Felix needs right now, so he sinks into his nest and curls into himself.

⁕⁕⁕

“Can I ask you something?” Chan asks, glancing over at Felix from the driver’s seat.

He offered to drive Felix to campus so he wouldn’t have to walk so much, and Felix accepted because nothing makes him happier than spending time with his hyung.

Felix nods, giving him a fond little smile. “Of course.”

“How did you decide to do this?” Chan asks. “Did Changbin and Hyunjin ask you?”

Felix's smile widens. “I decided it myself. Honestly, I thought it would take them months, maybe years to even consider it, but they were so excited they said yes almost immediately.”

His smile grows even softer when he remembers the way Changbin’s eyes lit up at the idea that holding a pup in his arms might actually be possible after so many losses.

“But . . . why?” Chan asks, drawing his eyebrows together in a frown. “I mean . . . Why did you want to do it? I still can’t quite believe it.” He lets out a chuckle.

Felix shrugs, looking out the window for a moment. “It started after Hyunjin’s second IVF cycle. The doctor had suggested a surrogate–woman or omega–as an option after the miscarriage. And Hyunjin told me he'd have to be crazy to let a stranger carry their baby. I never even knew it was possible for someone to get pregnant like that. So I started researching . . . and I just . . . knew. I knew I could do it.”

And maybe, just for once, feel what it’s like to be pregnant, he thinks.

Chan smiles, but the corner of his mouth twitches. “Yeah, it all happened so fast. Did you, um ... . did you get all the medical check-ups done?”

“Of course, hyung,” Felix says, rolling his eyes playfully. “I spent months going from clinic to clinic, seeing a million doctors because second opinions matter. I’m healthy, and apparently very fertile.” Heat floods his cheeks when the words leave his mouth. “Then I told Hyunjinnie and Changbinnie.”

“Wait.” Chan turns his head to look at him. “You went to the doctors alone?”

“Yep.”

“Why? Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve gone with you!”

Felix laughs. “I’m a big boy, Channie. I can handle it. And honestly . . . I wouldn’t have felt very comfortable with you watching them stick a rod up my cunt.”

Chan’s eyes go wide with horror. He whips his head back to the road and lets out a laugh (or, rather, a gasp).

“It didn’t hurt,” Felix adds quickly when he sees Chan’s mouth open to protest. “Promise.”

Chan exhales. “Well… at least I can tell you’re really happy. I mean, I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“Like what?”

“Like… this. Shining. I don’t know how to explain it. But, if this makes you happy, then I’m happy too. And obviously, I’m really happy for Changbin and Hyunjin.”

His words make a pleasant warmth spread through his chest. He can’t quite explain it either, but he’s happier than he’s ever been (except for those few rough days when Chan seemed off.)

He’s happy to give Changbin and Hyunjin a child, but a huge part of the happiness is because there’s a baby inside him.

When they arrive at campus, Felix leans over the console to hug him. “Thanks, hyung,”

Some mornings he wakes up glowing. He stands in front of the mirror, hands cradling his belly, and smiles from ear to ear. He feels powerful. Magical. Like his body is doing something extraordinary, something sacred.

Felix sometimes dreams that he's pushing a stroller with a small baby boy who has Hyunjin's face but covered in freckles. Sometimes it's a girl instead, wrapped in a pink blanket.

Then, when he wakes up sweating he reminds himself that it doesn't have to stay just a dream–it could actually happen. Once the baby is born, he can ask Changbin and Hyunjin to let him borrow the baby for a little while.

His breasts ache every time he opens Amazon to check prices for breast pumps, because he knows Hyunjin would never let him breastfeed his son. That would be too cruel and painful for him.

He loves the baby with every beat of his heart. He loves Hyunjin and Changbin for trusting him with their dream. He loves Chan for taking care of him, even when things feel complicated.

And he loves himself for being brave, for being capable, for turning his body into a home for a miracle.

⁕⁕⁕

Felix and Jisung are at their usual table in the crowded campus cafeteria, finally eating lunch after a long morning of back-to-back classes that left both of them exhausted and starving.

"Hey, so I've been trying to drag my ass back to the gym," Jisung says, stabbing a piece of chicken with his fork. “But it’s so boring when it’s empty. Lately I only see Changbin there. Chan’s, like, never around anymore. Super weird, right? He used to basically live at that place.”

The moment Chan’s name drops, happiness flashes across Felix’s face. Those early mornings in Felix’s tiny kitchen while Chan flips pancakes flood his mind. Afternoons on the couch getting the best foot rubs from those big hands, and nights cooking together (Chan at the stove while Felix fills the room with his Spotify playlist).

“Oh, it’s just . . . he’s been coming over to my place a lot lately,” Felix tells him with a wide smile spreading across his face as he strokes the round curve of his belly. “Everything’s gotten so much harder, you know? Bending down, reaching stuff, even just . . . existing.” He giggles. “But Channie just shows up. He does the dishes, folds my laundry, makes sure I eat actual food instead of instant ramen. He’s so sweet. I feel so taken care of . . . like I’m the luckiest pregnant omega ever.”

He can't hide the soft tone in his voice. It’s nice to be taken care of in those simple ways.

When he looks up, he finds Jisung looking at him with a grin twisted on his mouth.

"Uh huh, really sweet. Sure, Lix. Chan is going absolutely fucking insane over you. It's actually kind of fun to watch."

"What?” Felix asks, a soft smile still curved across his mouth. He gives Jisung a confused look, cocking his head to the side like a puzzled puppy. “Why would you say that? He's just being a good friend. He's the best hyung."

Jisung laughs at his confused face. "Come on, Lix. It's so obvious. It's written all over his face whenever you're in the room."

"I really don't know what you're talking about," Felix insists, popping another bite of rice into his mouth.

To Felix, Chan’s little things (scenting him when he’s stressed, making sure his favorite blanket is on the couch, and making breakfast and lunch and dinner) are just… normal bestie stuff. That’s just Chan being Chan.

Jisung leans a little bit closer over the table and lowers his voice. "He looks at you like he’s already planning to knot you up and put another baby in you the second this one is born."

Felix feels like a bucket of ice-cold water has just been poured over his head. He chokes on the rice mid-swallow, coughing hard as his face turns red. That's so far from anything he has ever let himself think about that his heart is threatening to leap out of his body with how fast it’s beating. The cozy happy bubble he’s been living in for weeks just explodes.

He stares at Jisung with his mouth hanging open as blood drains from his face.

He has never, ever thought about it like that. Not once. Chan is just being protective and kind, right? Best friends do that stuff… they scent you when you’re stressed and carry your groceries and make sure you’re comfy on the couch.

They don’t look at you like they wanna knot you. The idea is so scary and wild and… and…

He's speechless.

Jisung deadpans, probably noticing the shock on Felix's face. His teasing smile fades into genuine concern as if he just broke something precious.

"Wait. You... You actually hadn't noticed? At all? Oh my god, Lix, I love you, but you have to be the biggest idiot on the planet if you still haven’t noticed the way he looks at you.”

"Notice what? Sung, you're crazy. You're reading this all wrong. He's just... he helps me, but that doesn't mean... It can't be–"

But then, finally, all the confusion and months of worrying just spill out. Felix blurts out the thing that's been eating at him. "But it doesn't make any sense! Because when I got pregnant, he acted so weird and he avoided me for weeks!"

Jisung scoffs. "Oh, Lix, you're so cute. What do you think a pregnant omega does to an alpha?”

Jisung laughs and falls back against the chair, shaking his head. He doesn’t say anything. He just keeps looking at Felix with a playful stare.

Felix can barely handle the sound of the beat in his ears. It feels like his heart might burst out of his chest. He wants to disappear.

“Drinking too much bubble tea was a bad idea," he stammers. "I-I need to pee.”

He can hear Jisung’s chuckle follow him after he scrambles off his chair, his heart racing as he makes his way to the restroom, or anywhere he can hide.

He struggles to wrap his head around the idea that Chan–his Chan, the hyung who’s been like a big brother forever–could see him as anything more than his little dongsaeng. No way. He’s so confused. It makes no sense for it to be true.

He searches desperately for some tiny hint that Jisung could be right about this. Every single moment they’ve shared. Every late-night talk and every time Chan ruffled his hair and pulled him into a hug after a bad day. Chan treats him exactly like he treats the other guys.

And yes, maybe the pregnancy flipped some switch, but not like that, right? Of course Chan is being extra soft and protective. Felix is carrying his best friends’ pup–the baby the whole pack has been dreaming about forever. Chan bringing snacks, scenting him when cramps hit… it's just hyung things That's just who Chan is.

He has never, ever looked at Chan and thought of him as anything but his dependable hyung. Sure, his omega goes absolutely feral every time Chan scents him, and he loves how his apartment smells like Chan for days but that's just because it smells like pack, not because of Chan specifically.

Jisung must be wrong. He has to be seeing something that isn't there, because the alternative is too confusing and too scary to even think about.

He can't sleep properly in days, just tossing and turning until the sheets are tangled around his legs and his pillow smells like tears and vanilla from crying into it.

His head is a complete mess, replaying Jisung’s stupid words on an endless loop, no matter how many times he smashes the pillow over his head to make it stop. Every time his phone lights up with Chan’s texts, his heart drops to his stomach and he can only type back ok or yep because his fingers shake too hard to type anything real.

Everything feels wrong and broken. His stomach ties itself into a tight knot at the thought of Chan doing all those nice things because he wants him, and the thought alone makes him want to scream and hide under his blanket forever because it’s impossible and terrifying.

That's not his Chan.

The Chan he knows–his bestie, his hyung, his safe place–would never look at him like that or want him in that way.

He tries to go back to his normal routine, but now Chan is always there, like he has always belonged in Felix’s tiny kitchen. Chan has turned into his personal chef-maid combo. It's supposed to feel normal but it doesn’t. Jisung’s stupid words are eating him alive, making him overanalyze everything Chan does. When he folds Felix’s clothes it doesn’t feel like “hyung helping” anymore, it feels like something a mate would do.

And the food, fuck, the food. Chan buys food that definitely costs more than Felix's rent–expensive salmon, those tiny strawberries so sweet they make Felix’s mouth water just looking at them (he always says you and the baby deserve the best, Lixie,) but Felix’s mind scream he’s courting me, he’s actually courting me, and he doesn’t know whether to cry, hide in his nest or just kiss him because what the hell is he supposed to do with that.

⁕⁕⁕

Now that Jisung has put that idea in his head, Felix is doomed to think about it, no matter how hard he tries to ignore it.

On Friday, Chan appears on Felix’s doorstep again. It’s been a whole month of Chan’s routine visits—he comes over to cook and clean once a week—and yet Felix still can’t get used to the butterflies taking flight in his stomach every time Chan texts him that he’s on his way.

Ever since they met–five years ago–it was normal for them to see each other maybe two or three times a month. Group hangouts were always the last weekend of the month. So… Felix and Chan have been seeing each other more in the last few weeks than in all five years combined.

He even visits more than Hyunjin and Changbin do.

Now Felix hasn’t just gained weight from the pregnancy–he’s gained it from all the meals Chan cooks for him.

This morning, Felix sent a message in the group chat joking that he had a super tough exam, so he deserved a huge dinner as a reward. Two minutes later, Chan DM’d him privately: “Craving bibimbap?”

And how could Felix, with his heart hammering and his cheeks turning red, ever say no to him?

So… Here he is, eating bibimbap with Chan.

After dinner, Felix plops down on the couch, belly stuffed full of food because Chan literally pouts if he leaves even one bite on his plate (and Felix is super weak for that pout).

Chan drops to his knees right in front of him and–without even asking–starts working his magic hands on Felix’s aching feet, thumbs rubbing circles into his toes.

And Felix just melts.

"They're so swollen. My ankles, too. I'm literally an elephant," Felix whines, and Chan chuckles, sliding his hands up to knead the puffy ankles.

“You’re the cutest elephant I’ve ever seen,” Chan teases.

And Felix can’t help it–he stares. Like, really stares.

Chan’s hair is getting longer, curling a little at the ends, his lashes are ridiculously long, his nose is perfect, his lips are plump and pink, and his jawline could cut glass.

He's so handsome.

And he’s just… there, so focused on making Felix feel better, so careful, so devoted.

Fuck Jisung. Fuck him for putting these stupid, stupid ideas in his head, because now Felix is sitting here, looking at Chan, and all he can think about is what other things he can do with those hands.

He swallows harshly, chasing away the desperation of his own mind.

Chan looks up and catches Felix staring. "What? Does it hurt?"

"No. No, it's… it's perfect." Felix murmurs and looks away.

He stares at the ceiling to keep himself from moving his head and looking at Chan; from feeding his heart more material to agonize over.

But, Chan’s face lingers in his head. Every fucking detail. He spent years seeing him as just his hyung, but now his omega brain is screaming what if Chan was my alpha. What if, after Hyunjin and Changbin’s baby is born, he made me round and full again… with his own?

"Lix. Don't fall asleep on the couch. Let's get you to bed."

Felix blinks his eyes open.

"I–I wasn't sleeping,” Felix mumbles, cheeks turning red–his brain was totally wandering into dangerous territory. “I was just resting my eyes.” He stretches out his arm so Chan can grab it, then lets out a groan as Chan pulls him up. His belly feels like a giant watermelon ready to explode. “I swear this thing is gonna explode any second now.”

Chan chuckles. "I hope not. You’ve still got a few months left.”

Chan wraps an arm around his waist to steady him as they shuffle to Felix’s bedroom.

When they make it, Felix falls back against the mattress, head hitting the pillows as he lets out a sigh. "I’m gonna feel so empty when it’s gone,” he says, rubbing his belly. Then, that thought that has been nagging at him creeps back in. "Channie... do you think I'd be a good mom? If I had my own baby someday?"

Chan doesn't answer right away. Instead, he grabs the blanket and tucks it over Felix, then fluffs up one of the pillows behind him, patting them into that cozy nest shape Felix loves so much.

"You'd be the best mom in the world," Chan says after a moment and steps back from the bed. "Get some rest."

And then he’s gone… out the door so fast that Felix barely feels the air move.