Chapter Text
VOLUME ONE
As he gets out of the cab, he freezes for a second. It’s the first time in four months that he has come back to Hawkins. He chose to leave this town behind and everything in it—or he could actually say everyone in it. He finds himself in front of the house, but this time is different. He’s not alone. Carlton is here, and as happy as he tries to seem, he is very nervous about this. If he could, he would turn around and just stay in New York for the holidays, hiding as he has since he left and didn’t look back, because at this point in his life hiding feels safer than facing his fears—facing Mike. But here he finds himself back where every one of his fears resides.
He never really wanted to come back, but Jonathan made him come. Even if everything is back to normal, his mom is still worried and misses her little boy, so what better opportunity to kill two birds with one bullet? He breaks from his thoughts as he feels a touch on his shoulder.
“You okay there?” Carlton asks with a confused look on his face. “You’ve been staring for a good five minutes…”
“Yeah, sorry. It’s just… I haven’t been home for a while, and everything comes back, and it’s a bit overwhelming.” He tries to be cool and laugh it off, but he can feel the tightness in his stomach and can’t even pinpoint the reason.
He should be happy now. His brother and his mom are going to meet his boyfriend for the first time. He should be happy that he is finally at peace. He’s dating someone who is nice and treats him like he’s never been treated before. But he can’t help it—he’s always been a nervous wreck.
He grabs Carlton’s hand and steps into the house. The house seems empty at first, but soon Jonathan comes down the stairs and hugs Will so tight he needs to catch a break to breathe again.
He turns around to face Carlton and introduces him to Jonathan.
“Jonathan, this is Carlton, my boyfriend. Carlton, my brother Jonathan.” As he says it, he desperately searches for a look of approval on Jonathan’s face.
“Hey, man. Nice to finally meet you,” Jonathan says with a dull smile on his face—but good enough that it puts Will’s worries at rest.
“Nice to meet you too. Will told me so much about you. I was so happy when he suggested I come along with him.”
“Oh, did he?” Jonathan gives a quizzical look to Will, as he never told him that he was going to bring Carlton along, but he has to play his part now. Will shares a look with Jonathan, then looks down at his shoes.
“Yes, he told me that you looked after him like a father and that he loves you very much.”
Carlton did not clock that Jonathan’s ironic question was not intended for that part of his statement, which in this instance makes Will really happy, as he never intended to make anyone feel uncomfortable. But he did not have the courage to bring this subject up before coming, so he thought, what harm can this do? Yeah, it’s a surprise for everyone, but at the end of the day they had to meet.
Jonathan takes their suitcases and guides them to Will’s room so they can unpack and change.
Will clears his throat to “clear” the air. “Anyways, where is Mom? I was expecting her to wait for me in front of the house, the way she acted on the phone.” He cracks a little laugh and suddenly can breathe normally.
“Oh yeah, she and Hop are out for a bit. They’re finishing the shopping for tonight’s dinner.” He gives a small smirk.
He places the suitcases on the bed and makes his way back downstairs so the boys can unpack. As he goes out the door, his whole body is out of sight, but he pops his head back into the room and, with the same smirk as before, says, “Oh, by the way, the dinner is going to be at the Wheelers’ house.”
Will jumps back, facing Jonathan with a look of shock on his face. “What? What do you mean? Why? Is that necessary?” You can read the fear behind Will’s eyes.
Carlton arches his eyebrows. “Who are the Wheelers?” visibly worried at Will’s reaction.
“Well, Mom made the plans beforehand since she knew you were going to come, so she wanted to surprise you. Ted is out of town for a few weeks, and Karen and Mom thought it would be a good idea to have dinner with them and your friends, since everyone is back from college.” He can read the panic on Will’s face, but in some ways it makes Jonathan happy, because despite what Will tells him, he knows him best and knows exactly what he’s trying to do.
He leaves the room, leaving Will to give a brief explanation of the situation to Carlton. He never in a million years wanted to meet any of his friends. He thought none of them were in town—he even asked his mother beforehand just to make sure he didn’t have to face everyone. But apparently Joyce is still good at surprises, so she organized it so all the boys would be in town for the next few weeks.
After watching Jonathan leave the room, he turns around to face Carlton. He tries to calm himself down, but his face is all red and flustered. He hasn’t answered his previous question, so as he approaches the bed, Carlton asks again.
“So… who are the Wheelers?” still confused.
He takes his hand to calm Carlton—and himself—and starts to explain. “Oh, well, it’s just the family of my ‘best friend,’ but we haven’t been best friends in a while, so it’s a bit weird…”
“How so?” The question irritates Will, as he wants to drop the subject really fast.
“Well, you know my sister. She and this guy dated in childhood for a bit, and they had a rather awkward breakup. And well, it’s my sister, so I just distanced myself from him, you know?”
Will couldn’t believe the bullshit he was saying right now and wonders if Carlton would believe him, because this load of crap could be spotted from a mile away. But hey—Carlton knows nobody here, so he can tell whatever lie he wants to get out of telling the actual truth. But what could he say, really?
Oh, it’s just my best friend that I was in love with (and still am) for the past thirteen years? But I tried so hard to hide it because I indirectly confessed my love to him and he never acknowledged it. Yeah, so smooth. Who wouldn’t want to fall in love with him after that?
But Carlton seems to accept the response. At the end of the day, he doesn’t know more than what Will tells him. He continues to introduce everyone, and Carlton gets the general idea of the whole party.
Now it’s already been forty-five minutes since Jonathan left the room. Will gives Carlton some time to get ready and makes his way downstairs. At the table sits Jonathan with a cup of coffee, as if he was waiting for Will to come down.
Will takes a seat next to him, shy, embarrassed—and in a way, he is. He should have told Jonathan; he would have understood. But that’s the problem—Jonathan understands everything and knows everything before Will even does.
“So, how come you didn’t tell me you were going to bring him over? You know I’m okay with everything. You didn’t have to hide it from me.” He has a sad look on his face. It feels like Will still doesn’t fully trust him.
“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t think. I just… I just assumed it would be just us, and what harm would that do? If I told you then or now, it wouldn’t have made a difference, but now…” He inhales deeply and is unable to let it out.
“But now you have to face Mike?” He gets closer to Will, takes his hand in an attempt to show him that he’s here for him and that he can open up.
“No, no, no, it’s not that. What? No, why would—” He stops mid-sentence. He sees Jonathan’s expression. He knows, so why lie? Jonathan wouldn’t believe it anyway. “…Yes. Mike. How—how did you know? Since when did you know?”
He squeezes his hand tighter. “Since the painting. In the van.”
Will is shocked when he hears Jonathan say it.
“I saw you, Will. I knew it. I even knew it before that—since you told me about the fight you had in the rain. I just didn’t want to say anything before you came to me. But now you worry me. You left all of a sudden, then you come home with a new boyfriend. And he’s nice and all, but I know what you feel for Mike. It’s hard to believe you got over him so fast. I just want to know you’re safe and making choices that truly make you happy.” He gives an assuring smile to Will, which seems to relax him.
“I know. I’ve been all over the place the past few months. I’m just trying to live my life happy. Maybe I won’t be fully happy all the time. Maybe Mike was the one I loved, but I have to get over it. I can’t linger my whole life over someone who’s never going to see me the way I saw them. So why not try to move on and be someone new with someone new? I just want to leave the past in the past and live my life without Mike in my mind. And I am happy—at least happy enough.”
Jonathan takes this to heart and finally relaxes. Now they can enjoy their time together. Yes, Will didn’t expect to meet his friends again, but there’s nothing he can do now. He had to face them at some point.
The brothers hug, both with tears in their eyes—but they’re happy tears. Will breaks the hug and turns to go upstairs to his room. In the hallway, he stops to gather his thoughts and think about what he said to Jonathan. He did tell the truth—at least half of it. He did want to get over Mike, but he isn’t over him. Not by a long shot.
He pulls himself together and enters his room to find Carlton sitting on his bed, all dressed up. Handsome.
Carlton is very handsome—but very different from Mike. He’s the same height as Will, with blond hair and crystal-clear blue eyes. He is gorgeous, but he is still not Mike, and that’s what makes Will so sad. He cares for Carlton so much and wants to love him one day, but he doesn’t really love him now, and it eats him up inside. He likes him—but he doesn’t love him.
Carlton gets up from the bed, grabs Will by the hip, and pulls him into a kiss—maybe to calm him down, or maybe to remind him that he’s his boyfriend.
He breaks the kiss, looks at Will, and says, “You know I love you, right?”
Will looks at him, and the only thing he can do is nod with a smile on his face. He can’t say it back, and this is one of the reasons they have had problems. Carlton trusts Will but can sense the tension in him since they arrived. Still, he never pushes Will to talk if he doesn’t feel like it. He’s understanding and doesn’t want Will to feel pressured into saying “I love you” before he’s ready. And that’s one of the reasons Will struggles—Carlton is so kind that it makes it even harder to break his heart.
They finish getting ready and make their way to the Wheelers’ house. Will has a knot in his throat. How will he react? What will he say? He hasn’t spoken to Mike in four months, and now he’s showing up at his house—with a boyfriend, no less.
He’s the first one to approach the door and doesn’t even have time to knock. The door swings open—and there he is.
Mike.
His Mike.
Their eyes lock, and everything freezes.