Work Text:
Show Me How it Ends
The ‘Startler Hotel 2:30 AM’ written in navy blue ink on a napkin haunted Rob. He knew what it meant but refused to continue that train of thoughts. Masking his guilt proved difficult during their date and it didn’t help that Frank worried more about him than himself. Telling Vin that there would be no more incidents at Dearborn. Rob just nodded before closing his eyes for a few seconds- a cigarette never leaving his hand. Working with the CIA had accustomed him that thinking too deep meant a certain death. It was like facing Cthulhu in that it was safer to remain ignorant than live with the knowledge of exactly what you did or indirectly caused. Thinking too deeply caused ‘the Company’ to want to discard Frank Olson like he was nothing. Even with all he did for them and the country; it made Robert all too aware that they could do the same to him with even less of a thought. Frank had accolades and co-founded the bio weapons research unit, while Rob was essentially middle management under Gottlieb. A prisoner nearing his execution date but prayed for a stay. Rob couldn’t call either of them innocent due to the blood on their hands. He wished he didn’t know how it would end.
They had gone up to the room after a few martinis at the bar. The ‘do not disturb’ sign placed on the door as soon as it was shut and locked. Rob felt needy lips pressed against his as Frank tried to divest him of his layers. It was desperate and needy. Rob mapped his lover’s mouth with his tongue to savor every inch of it as they were stripped down to their undershirts and boxers. The warm dim lights giving both of them an ethereal glow.
“How would you feel about being on top tonight?” Rob asked with a wink.
“You usually only let me do that when we take LSD,” Frank said with shock in his voice.
“Well think of it as a special occasion since we have a hotel room for ourselves,” Rob lied with a cute grin to convince Frank. He batted his eyelashes and buried the anxiety and guilt deep into the recess of his mind- bury them far into the abyss.
“I guess miracles happen after all since I get to room with you,” Frank beamed as he said that.
“Yes and shame that we didn’t get a double bed this time. Remember that time a hotel only had a room like that available for us. Sid teased us for several days after,” Rob reminisced with a smile. Might as well indulge in some nostalgia while he still had the chance.
Frank chuckled and said, “Everyone was amazed that we could share a queen sized bed without causing a riot like some other agents did when that happened to them.”
“How were they supposed to be good agents if they couldn’t even share a bed with another man?” Rob remarked before kissing Frank again.
They found themselves falling onto the right bed in the corner. A twin bed would be a tight fit for them but they had sex in worse places. Before they continued anything, Robert searched his discarded slacks for the little lube bottle he carried in his pocket. He brought it to the bed and handed it to Frank.
“Prepare me tonight,” Rob asked but it came out more like a demand.
“As you wish,” Frank said with a smile on his lips.
They stripped off the last of their clothes, which ended up on the floor. Frank went straight for his chest before anything else. His face pressed against his pecs before moving to suck on his nipples. He treated those warm pink nubs of his like the most delicious dessert with the way he moved his tongue around them. They were hard and an angry red once Frank was done or ‘Frankie’ as he called him during their rendezvous. Pretty noises escaped Rob’s lips.
“I can never get tired of doing that for you,” Frank said with a giggle. Frank stared into his lover’s green eyes. “Your eyes remind me of a calming forest where we can get lost and forget the world for a weekend. Remember those times we would stay at the cabin just the two of us?”
Rob pressed his forehead against the other before saying, “Yes, fuck those were fun times. Your eyes remind me of the lake and its shore. I always love looking into your eyes.” He rubbed his lover’s cheek with his thumb.
“I could get lost in yours,” Frank whispered into the shell of his ear. He smirked.
A slick finger pushed into his hole. Any burn from adjusting to the intrusion was welcome as it meant Frank was still here, breathing. The pointer finger in him moved like he was some fine china and not the wretched human being he was.
“I’m not going to break, Frankie. Please, be a bit more rough,” Rob pleaded with a whine.
The second slick finger rammed into him along with the first. He laid with his legs open facing Frank. Letting little noises slip from his lips when his lover brushed the part of him that sent pleasure down his spine. Scissoring him open when a third plunged into him.
“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on when you let your guard down like this,” Frank confessed. He made sure to hit the spot in him that made him sing with moans. Those fingers slipped out of him and emptiness filled him again.
He watched Frank stroke himself with lube before lining up with his hole. Vulnerable and splayed out in front of his lover. The tip pressed against his opening; begging to be let in. Rob whined before saying, “Fuck me already.”
“Impatient aren’t we,” Frankie said beaming.
“Please get in me,” Rob pleaded.
He felt his lover’s cock enter him slowly. Tiny tears mixed with sweat as Rob adjusted to the intrusion. He hoped that Frankie wouldn’t ask why there was tears as he didn’t know if he could lie to him. The emotion had to be let out now unless he wanted the CIA to find a creative way to murder him.
Rob confessed, “I love you.” Once Frank had bottomed out. “I love you, Frankie.” He needed him to hear it and believe it since this was his last chance.
“I love you too,” Frank said before kissing Rob’s lips that were red their previous make out.
“Frankie, please move,” Rob said with a giggle.
The plea was met with a sharp deep thrust. Temporarily destroying the mask that he wore everyday as an agent of the CIA. He cried with a smile on his face as those thrust increased in speed. The tears were freeing as he could only afford to let out his emotions now in the pleasure of being with his lover.
Between the chants of Frankie, Frankie, Frankie, Rob confessed his love. If Frank had to die, he might as well know that he adored him. He wrapped his legs around Frankie to pull him in deeper. Their lips connected again.
“If only we could stay like this for eternity because I feel safe for once,” Frank confessed as he pressed his forehead against the other.
Rob held him tighter as the pace kept picking up. White painted Rob’s insides as he felt himself cum on Frank’s chest. They stayed connected and close as they still had time. He traced Frankie’s body with his index finger to memorize every ridge and curve. If only this reverie could last forever- the water should not have turned bitter. Wormwood would snatch his love away from him. Take away the one person he felt human around.
“We should really get a shower and get dressed for bed,” Rob said as he kissed Frank’s forehead.
“Alright,” Frank said with a whine.
He ached to be connected to him all night but the note on the napkin that read ‘2:30am’ reminded him that he couldn’t. The CIA muscle barging into their room would not appreciate that and Dr. Lashbrook would end up losing his life by hanging himself by a sheet or so the press would report. Why blackmail when killing and making it look like a double suicide of two lovers would make the CIA’s job so much easier if they saw them connected as one after making love. Rob only let Frank slip out of him, once they hobbled closer to the bathroom. Frankie prepared the shower for both of them before helping Rob into it. The water warm as Rob clung to his lover.
“How do you cope with all the horror we experience at work?” Frank asked as he washed his lover’s body. He held him from behind.
“Well sex with you cures all my ills,” Rob joked with a smirk.
“What do you do when we are not together?” Frank asked with a chuckle.
“Smoke and dissociate,” Rob said, matter of factly. He moaned when his lover’s hands massaged his hair with shampoo.
“And look pretty as you always do,” Frank added with that smile of his. He groped Rob’s breast and pinched his nipple.
A moan escaped Robert’s lips. “You think I’m pretty?” He said as he batted his eyelashes. He giggled like a school girl.
“You are ethereal, hypnotic and somehow the glasses just make you even more beautiful,” Frank said. After finishing conditioning and rinsing Robert’s short black curls, he got onto his knees. He brought his tongue to his rim and licked his hole.
“Fuck, that feels good,” Rob said, breathily.
He felt Frank’s tongue invade him and it felt electric. Rob used the water of the shower to mask his tears as it hit him that this would be the last time they would do this. Soon, he felt more white and sticky fluid coat his chest.
Before Frank could clean them up, Robert got on his knees and took him in his mouth. Maybe choking on his lover’s cock could help him chase the feeling of being engulfed by Frankie. This was their last chance to lay with another and the clock kept ticking.
“You don’t have to do this, Rob,” Frank said as he moaned.
Rob took his lips off him for a second saying, “I want to.” He stared into Frank’s eyes.
“Thank you so much,” Frank said as Rob dove back in. His throat reached the hilt not soon after he felt being thrusted into.
His mind was quiet for once as Frankie used him for his pleasure. The garrote that was his work had loosened as his mouth worshipped his lover. He only let himself have the bare minimum of oxygen, so he could keep the feeling like he was floating.
“How did you get so good at this?” Frank asked as he moaned.
Rob took him out of his mouth to say, “You don’t remember all the times I sucked your cock?”
“Was it when we were experimenting with LSD and pleasure?” Frank asked. His face pink with pleasure.
Rob smiled and said, “Yes, I get submissive on it.”
Or when he chased the feeling of numbness. Why couldn’t the CIA have just let him be ignorant of Frank’s fate? Were they setting him up as a pawn in their game? A convenient scapegoat.
He took a few breaths before taking Frank in his mouth again. Again his lover thrusts hit the back of his throat. Even the soreness of his jaw felt euphoric as Rob swallowed his lover’s bitter, white fluid. They finished in the shower before making themselves look presentable and only in their undershirts with boxers and slacks.
Boxing was turned on and Rob nursed a cigarette as he sat on his bed. Frank read the Book of Revelations in the bible. He wanted so badly to knock the book out of his hand and ride him but the clock was too close to 2:30am to even think of another round. Rob watched TV listlessly before Frank turned it off. Another cigarette before finally they went to bed around 2:00am.
It was at 2:18am when Rob got up from his bed and as he put on his watch. He stared at Frank who slept peacefully and couldn’t help but whisper, “You should have made it.” Rob did not bother to mask the sadness in his voice. Frank slept peacefully probably dreaming of more rendezvous between them. He went to go cower in the bathroom. Once the door was closed and the lights turned on, Rob stared at himself in the mirror and lit a cigarette.
His green eyes mixed with brown looked back at him and it was like the abyss had finally decided to stare back at him. He sat on the toilet seat and waited for the act to be done before the descent into the abyss. He adjusted his gold framed glasses and took them off for a few seconds.
“Rob, open the door,” Frank pleaded as he jiggled the door knob. He kept repeating that same phrase over and over again.
His stomach dropped and it felt like he was drowning. In the lake where the water turned bitter. The pleas stabbed him like a dagger each time; the door getting closer to being opened. A struggle ensued. As he sat there frozen, glass shattered somewhere and he heard the sound of wind. Once the coast was clear, he ventured out and went to the phone. Instead of a human- he felt like a puppet that strings were pulled by the CIA.
In the darkness of the room, he reported to the Company, “Well, he’s gone- yes, plaza 33838- “ He let himself sigh before answering, “Harold, Frank jumped.” The phone call ended not long afterward and he went back to the bathroom to sit on the toilet seat. He had to pretend to be shocked but the sadness was real. Rob started his performance once the cops entered.
Like reciting a line from a play, Rob said, “I don’t know why he jump. Maybe it was his ulcer.”
They ordered him to get up and he braced himself against the wall. One of the NYPD officers patted him down- searching for weapons or drugs. As they investigated the hotel room, the phone rang again. While the officers looked out the window- Rob answered the phone.
It was Dr. Abramson. He wanted to meet tonight at his office. The phone hung up and the cops asked him his name.
“Dr. Robert Lashbrook,” He said in a monotone.
“You’re coming with us,” The Detective said rather casually.
The ride to the station felt suffocating. He had to become that puppet on the string and not the grieving lover. Rob let him self reminisce about Frank in the silence of the car. Well the quiet ended by the damned song that Frankie acted silly to. ‘Hound Dog’ by Big Mama Thornton played.
His mind went back to when Frank beckoned him with his feet as he stood on his hands. Rob had to help him out of the handstand. As soon as they found alone time, mouths slammed together and clothes haphazardly shed. A black full grain leather collar adorned Frank’s neck as he rode his lover. Frankie’s hole clenching tightly around him. Rob would have to dig through his belongings to see where it was. Once he found himself alone, he would search for it. He stayed in his fantasies and memories as they headed to the station. The soreness of his ass reminded him that Frank had carved himself a place in him. A short reprieve from the hell that awaited him.
His time at the station felt like he wasn’t there. Watching himself as an outside observer as the polices questions were answered. A marionette on it’s strings that answered only to the CIA. Having to call Frank only an acquaintance hurt but lover would only land him in boiling water. Probably accuse him of murdering him when the worst he did do was not intervene to save Frank. He ended up directing them to go bother Vincent Ruwet before the interrogation was finished. He went to a payphone to call his puppet master.
As if his night could not get any worse, he learned that he had an agent of the security office tailing him. Rob had to be extra cautious and bury his real thoughts deeper into his mind. He went to go see a film called ‘Ceasefire’ with his unwanted guest always there just behind him.
Would sleeping with this agent just make his problems worse or better? Probably worse. His stalker followed him into the bathroom and tried to strike up some small talk before Rob escaped to go to Dr. Abramson’s.
It was another descent into hell but with a different color wallpaper. Deep inside of him, he ached to be back with Frank. Cuddling after making love. This just being a nightmare as he lay asleep in Frankie’s broad shoulders.
The doctor who had CIA clearance greeted him in his office by stating it was his problem and made him listen to an audio tape. Rob tried to steer the conversation into his favor but there was no such luck.
“I know of your years long affair with Frank. I have audio and video of the both of you getting acquainted with each other biblically so do not try to deny it, Robert,” Dr. Abramson said with a smirk on his face like a cat corning its prey.
“How did you come about that knowledge?” Rob asked in a monotone. He finished his cigarette and got out another one.
“The way you touched him kind of clued me in that you were more than just friends. So, I set a trap and both of you fell for it. Both of you fucked in the sitting room to my office with Hound Dog at full volume. He really did cause you to do such stupid things,” Dr. Abramson said, smugly.
Rob let himself look back at the memory fondly as it all started because both were bored and tired of waiting for the rest to show up. Frankie tied him up with their ties and used him until whatever stress Rob had that day lay forgotten. They cleaned up all the evidence of their tryst and looked for cameras and audio recording in the room before they even begun.
Rob answered, “I do not see how my sex life has to do with what happened to Frank.”
“It’s more detrimental for you than for us as lovers quarrel leads to one jumping out the window tends to shut the press and cops up and not question anything regarding Frank’s circumstances,” Dr. Abramson said in a matter of fact tone.
The meeting ended.
His stalker followed him out and Rob hoped he did not hear anything that him and Dr. Abramson talked about. Robert ended up losing the pesky security agent by taking a cab and staying in a shady establishment for his lodging.
Rob placed the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on his door and locked it. He stayed on the first floor as heights after Frank’s death did not seem wise. Alone at last. Finally able to find that collar and bask in it.
The put together suit he wore ended up on the floor with his underclothes as he got into bed. It had a tacky velvet maroon comforter but it was cozy. Rob used it to cocoon himself as he put the collar on his own neck. His fingers dipped into the little lube bottle he had before diving into himself.
“Frankie,” Rob whispered as he closed his eyes. Frankie, Frankie, Frankie, Frankie. Moaning his name like he was right there with him; inside of him. Sobs mixed in with his cries of pleasure as he was finally able to let himself go. He grieved under the maroon sheets as there were no prying eyes to dissect his every move.
His eyes shut tightly as he imagined Frank inside of him instead of his own fingers. Alone. To do something destructive to oneself like let a bunch of men lay him at one of those bathhouses came in mind but, it would only dig the hole he was in deeper.
Rob just let his emotions take over as he pleasured himself. Coming on his own chest but there was no absolution or high afterwards. Just the dread of the coming days.