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Jo is spiraling.
He lies flat on his back and stares at the ceiling of his room and groans in frustration when his mind keeps wandering to a conversation the group had two weeks ago, a conversation that left him mortified. When Maki casually talked about some person he kissed a couple of years back, he came to the horrifying realization that he was the only member of the group who had yet to have his first kiss. Through some higher power, he was able to make it through the rest of the conversation until he could slip out of the room without seeming suspicious. Today, he has not been able to stop thinking about it. It shouldn’t bother him so much that he hadn’t had his first kiss; maybe saving it for someone important and who he truly loved was a wise idea, but he feels more desperate than romantic at the moment. After another groan of frustration, he suddenly hears the door to his and Nicholas’ shared room click. His roommate walks in and notices Jo’s internal struggle. Raising a brow, he slowly walks into the room and plops down next to him on the bed.
“So… what’s up?” Nicholas asks.
He would rather have this conversation with literally anyone else in the group. Sue him for fantasizing about his members when he was constantly around them. Nicholas just happened to be the forefront of his fantasies because they shared a room, and there have been multiple occasions where he’s walked in while his roommate was changing. His abs, buff arms, the scar on one of them. He stops his thoughts when he remembers Nicholas is right next to him.
“Nothing much. Just stressed out, I guess.” Any sane person could tell Jo was lying through his teeth.
Nicholas sits up on his elbow and looks down at him. “You literally look like you’re drowning in your thoughts.” He pokes Jo on the side teasingly. “Come on, I won’t judge you, you know that.”
Jo swallows harshly. There are multiple ways this could go. He silently hopes he doesn’t become subject to a lifetime of teasing by his group members.
“It’s just… remember two weeks ago when we had that long conversation with the group? We were all in the dorm together?”
Nicholas thinks about it for a while. “Not really, what part?”
Jo swallows again. “When Maki was talking about his kissing history.”
To his horror, Nicholas’ lips turn up into a grin. “What? Are you jealous or something? Haven’t been getting any action lately?” He gets up in Jo’s face with each question.
Jo rolls his eyes and flushes. “Well, something like that.”
Nicholas’ smile falters. “What do you mean?”
Jo is suddenly hyperaware of how close they are. He stiffens and stares at the ceiling instead of his roommate, who is inches away from his face.
“I haven’t had my first kiss yet.”
Nicholas grins again. “Oh? Why are you so worked up over that, though?”
Jo flushes even harder. “Stop laughing at me. I’m the only one out of us who doesn’t have any experience, how else am I supposed to feel?” When did Nicholas get so close to his face? Why does it seem like he’s moving closer? Jo refuses to look away from the ceiling, knowing he may do something he regrets if he moves at all.
“Well, we’re both here… alone… in our room.” Nicholas suddenly appears nervous, his confident facade faltering just the tiniest bit. “How about I teach you?”
Jo freezes. He slowly turns his head to look at Nicholas. “Teach?”
“Yeah. I mean, if you want to. Seems like you’re pretty desperate.”
Jo genuinely considers it. How much could this fuck up their friendship? Or worse, could it even affect the group? Jo realizes he doesn’t care that much. He’s silently mortified that Nicholas knows he’s desperate, but the fact that they’re inches away from each other and he’s so close to getting what he wants makes him reckless. He’s gonna regret this later.
“Sure.” He sits up. “Let’s do it.”
Nicholas also sits up and starts to move closer. Jo suddenly freaks out a bit. He’s fantasized about this before, this exact moment. He’s slightly embarrassed. He closes his eyes to quiet the overwhelming sight in front of him.
He feels a soft, warm press of lips on his own. It’s a small peck, and it lasts way shorter than he wanted it to. He’s disappointed and hopes it doesn’t show in his face.
Obviously, the odds are not in his favor today.
Nicholas laughs breathily. “Were you expecting more?”
He feels his ears heat up and turn beet red. “I mean, isn’t kissing supposed to have more movement? I didn’t even get the chance to kiss back.” It comes out way pitchier and pathetic than he intended. He looks away and considers making a beeline out the door.
“Ah. Jojo, you should be more upfront about what you want. Just follow my lead, okay?”
He’s suddenly moving in again. Everything is happening too fast for Jo’s liking. He feels a hand on his waist and just about dies right there. Then, their lips are touching again. He isn’t sure what he’s supposed to be doing, or how his lips are supposed to be moving. He settles on lightly resting his hands on Nicholas’ shoulders and trying to match the slow movements of his mouth. He thinks all too quickly that it feels natural, like their mouths slot perfectly together. He immediately silences that thought. It hasn’t even been ten seconds before they’re parting. Embarrassingly, he follows Nicholas’ mouth until he realizes what he’s doing, freezes, and stops touching him altogether.
Nicholas giggles. “Wow, you’re a quick learner, Jojo.” He gets up and moves to his own bed, plops down on it, and goes on his phone as if nothing happened. It irritates Jo. He’s frozen and red and slightly hard and wishes the ground could just suck him into a dark abyss. He wants more, but feels he can’t convey that now since Nicholas seems so casual about it. He sighs and leaves the room to use the bathroom. If he spends a suspicious amount of time in there, Nicholas doesn’t say anything about it.
🍓🍙
The next day is busy with schedules and practice. Jo doesn’t think he and Nicholas are awkward per se, but there’s an underlying tension that makes Jo a little dizzy. He kissed one of his best friends yesterday and masturbated in the bathroom because he got horny from it.
Crazy.
Nicholas doesn’t ignore him, making little jokes and comments towards him throughout the day, but Jo flushes every time he looks into Nicholas’ eyes and hopes he or someone else doesn’t notice. He gets through the rest of the day feeling… well, weird is the only word he can use to describe it. Everything about this is just weird.
The group finally arrives at their dorm and immediately settles for the night, rushing through showers and nighttime routines. Later in the night, Jo is showered and peaceful and scrolling through his phone in the comfort of his bed when Nicholas walks into their room. He greets him passingly and does a double-take when he sees Nicholas wearing his hoodie. Wow, okay. It’s not the first time Nicholas has done it, but it makes Jo feel funny when he gets flashbacks to last night’s activities. He settles deeper into his bed and tries to distract himself with his phone, but finds himself taking little glances at Nicholas. Nicholas doesn’t seem to notice, so Jo keeps doing it. When Nicholas bids him goodnight, and Jo can hear his steady breathing, signalling that he’s asleep, Jo decides to stare at him for a while.
Big mistake.
Nicholas is lying with his blanket half over his body, on his side. He’s only in boxers and his hoodie, and his legs are on full display for Jo to see. Jo throbs in his boxers. This view, with the reminder of what they did yesterday, repeatedly runs through his head. Jo is so, so fucked. He feels himself leak a little when he starts to fantasize about if they went a little farther, what would have happened. He palms himself over his boxers and feels a pang of guilt. This is so wrong, he thinks, as he starts to stroke slowly, but his lust overtakes him. He’s so pent up and desperate, and he’s going to regret this when post-nut clarity hits. He closes his eyes and bites his lip to muffle his sounds as he strokes faster. He tries to not think about Nicholas when he does it.
Oh, Nicholas is still in the room.
He opens his eyes to make sure his roommate is still sleeping and quietly sighs in relief when he sees he is. He pulls his boxers down so he can actually grip himself and lets out a little moan when he does. He freezes and looks at Nicholas again. He’s still asleep, so Jo keeps going. It only takes another minute for Jo to spill over his hand, barely holding back a loud whine. He quickly cleans himself up with a tissue from his nightstand, and it’s only when he's lying down again and about to fall asleep that post-nut clarity hits.
I’m such a fucking pervert, is his last thought before he lets slumber take over.
🍓🍙
It’s the next week, and Jo would love to say that he got over his “practice kissing lesson,” but he would be completely lying to himself. He’s pretty sure Nicholas doesn’t know about what he did the day after their kiss. Nicholas didn’t act any differently towards him the next day, and it filled Jo with so much relief that the members kept looking at him weirdly due to how happy and outgoing he was during the day. He flushes when he thinks about it. Embarrassing.
After a rushed day of more schedules and practice, he finds that even with being constantly occupied, he cannot stop thinking about the kiss. He doesn’t know why it’s bothering him so much today, as he was able to get through the past week without thinking too much about it. Maybe it has to do with the fact that Nicholas is wearing that hoodie again. It got so bad that he made a few mistakes during practice, was pulled aside by Euijoo, and politely told to pull himself together. He felt like dying right there. He notices in his peripheral vision a pair of familiar brown eyes and soft pink lips looking in his direction, but he avoids looking back.
He’s able to survive the rest of the day, take a scalding hot shower to clear his thoughts, and return to his comfortable bed. To his surprise, Nicholas is already in the room. Nicholas is usually the type to do his night routine late. Jo gives him a weird look, but lies on his bed and reaches for his phone. The tension in the room feels awfully thick. He convinces himself it’s just his mind playing tricks on him. Until he’s jumpscared by a body suddenly next to his. He forces himself to peer up at his roommate.
“Jo, what’s up with you? You’ve been so zoned out today.” There’s a slight teasing tone to his voice, and Jo does not enjoy it one bit. He knows exactly where this conversation is going.
“I don’t know. Just been a bad day, I guess.” He places his phone back on his nightstand and sits up, attempting to put a little distance between them.
Nicholas chuckles and shifts his body so they’re shoulder to shoulder. “Are you sure?”
He tenses and glares at him, using all of his power to not look at his roommate's lips. “Yep. I’m perfectly fine.”
Nicholas laughs in his face. “Jojo, do you do that all the time?”
Jo tilts his head in confusion. “Do what?”
“Masturbate while someone else is in the room.”
Jo’s eyes go comically wide. What the fuck. There’s no way Nicholas could have known about it. He had made sure multiple times that his roommate was asleep. Unless he was faking being asleep, but why would he do that? Nicholas must notice Jo is panicking because he feels Nicholas patting his thigh soothingly.
“It’s okay, I’m not mad at you. You know, if you wanted help, you could have just asked me.” Nicholas smiles again.
Jo is certain his ears are tomato red. “Help? W-what do you mean?” He mentally facepalms himself when the stutter comes out.
“Jo. Come on. I wouldn’t leave my friends hanging if they’re struggling,” Nicholas says, as if this is something everyone does. He is very much in Jo’s personal space right now, mere inches between their faces. If Jo closed the distance…
He gulps, and his next words come out before he can stop himself. “I think I want more practice.”
Nicholas giggles, and from Jo’s point of view, is starting to go from teasing to straight evil. “Yeah? And what does that entail?”
His hands are suddenly clammy. He wipes them down on his sweatpants. “I-I don’t know… I don’t think I’ve had enough practice to make sure my real first kiss is good.”
🍓🍙
Nicholas is half hard in his sweats. He hopes Jo doesn’t look down and notice it. He’s having way too much fun teasing his roommate. He’s always had a thing for pretty boys, and with one constantly around him, it was only natural for him to start thinking about the other in ways that could ruin their friendship. That day when Nicholas wore his hoodie, he only wanted to tease the boy a little bit. When he saw how Jo looked at him with want in his eyes, he faked being asleep, just to see what would happen. He really didn’t expect anything to happen, if he’s being honest. Jo is usually so reserved and polite. But when he heard wet sounds and little whines… God, Nicholas had never been so hard in his life. He didn’t go to him at the moment because he didn’t want to overwhelm the poor boy. But right now, he was going to do whatever it takes to indulge in his fantasies. He took it slow a week ago to test the waters, but now that he knows how much he affected the other, he’s beginning to feel a little desperate himself. He feels like a pervert when his dick twitches at his sudden awareness that Jo is a clean slate with no prior experience besides their kiss.
“Is that so? Well, I wouldn’t want you to be underprepared for your future partners. That would be bad, wouldn’t it?” He moves so he’s facing Jo, their shoulders no longer touching, but their faces closer than before.
He sees Jo gulp. “Right… can you help me?”
He smiles. “Of course, Jojo. I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t want to help you.” He starts to move closer, but stops when he gets the best idea he’s had in a while.
“Let’s make our position more comfortable. It’s awkward for my back to turn from this angle.” He hopes the white lie isn’t obvious. He moves to straddle Jo’s lap and plops down, not on his crotch, but dangerously close to it. He laughs a little when he hears the boy's breath hitch and feels lanky arms wrap around his waist.
🍓🍙
What the fuck. Nicholas is here. On his bed. On his lap. This is a scene out of his wet dreams. He prays Nicholas doesn’t notice the slight tent in his pants. Well, he can’t worry about that now because he feels hands on his shoulders and breath on his lips. He closes his eyes and Nicholas breaks the distance between them. It's softer than before, and Jo can taste the slight hint of toothpaste and something else he can't quite name. He finds himself addicted to it. His hands are clammy again and he wraps them tighter around Nicholas’ waist. Nicholas deepens the kiss and swipes his tongue across Jo’s bottom lip. Jo gasps and Nicholas takes the chance to lick into his mouth. Jo lets out a soft whine and flushes. He feels Nicholas smirking against his mouth, and the older pushes his body closer until they’re chest to chest.
If Jo wasn’t fully hard then, he definitely is now, and Nicholas must feel it because he’s smirking again. Jo pulls back a bit to catch his breath, but he's only given a couple of seconds until Nicholas is diving back in for more. This isn’t about practice anymore, he realizes. He wonders if it ever was.
Jo’s thoughts are filled with Nicholas and the press of warm lips and a soft body against his own. When he feels a strong roll of hips on his bulge, he gasps, and suddenly he's cumming in his pants like a teenage boy. He chokes on a moan and pulls back, head banging against the headboard, hips stuttering and twitching hard. He loses vision for at least three seconds. He doesn’t think he's ever felt simultaneously so relieved and horrified in his life. He knew he was a virgin, but he thought he would've lasted more than two minutes. Nicholas’s hands smooth across his shoulders.
“Wow, Jo, how long have you been wanting this?” the older chuckles breathlessly. Jo can't bring himself to respond, still struggling to catch his breath. He closes his eyes and lets his hands drop from Nicholas’ waist, realizing he had a death grip on them. He feels himself twitch at the thought of leaving bruises behind. Understanding that he won't answer, Nicholas wraps his arms around him, kisses down his neck, and ruts against his thigh. He's so spent that he doesn’t think he can get hard again. He rubs a hand up and down Nicholas’s back, encouraging him to keep going.
“Are you gonna let me use you like this all the time, Jojo?”
Holy shit.
Nicholas tries to sound unaffected, but his voice pitches up into a whine at the end of his sentence. He's now leaving little moans in his ear, and Jo concludes that these are the best sounds he’s heard in his life. Nicholas’s hips begin to rock faster, and it only takes him a few more seconds before his hips are stuttering and he’s letting out a moan so loud there's no way the other members didn't hear it through the thin walls of their dorm.
They both sit there for a bit until their breathing goes back to normal. When it's silent for a little too long, Jo panics, thinking their friendship and the dynamic of the group are over. Until he opens his eyes and sees Nicholas looking down at him, a warm smile on his face and a look in his eyes that Jo decides he will explore later. He smiles back.
“Still need practice?”
Way to ruin the mood, Jo thinks as he groans and gently pushes Nicholas down onto his back and kisses him with newfound confidence.