Archive of Our Own

   You know sometimes you mess up and say something that the universe decides to shove right back up your ass. Truly, it doesn’t entirely make sense. Or maybe it does and Mary just hasn’t read enough fantasy manga lately. She has been pretty busy but that’s completely besides the point. 

   Christmas was fast approaching them. The month had been spent with house pets decorating the school via Kira’s orders. The council planning for Christmas and the inevitable break that would land them all alone. Last year before Yumeko had thrown her off the council Mary had never truly been on it for long. A few months at most that got to her head. They never passed Christmas, so she had been unaware that the whole council stayed at the school over winter break. 

   That was disheartening for many reasons. What was even worse was the fact Kira and Riri didn’t do anything for Christmas. Even though they stayed alone at the school, nothing. Which makes total sense, yes, but Kira was being an all around bitch about. It wasn’t about celebrating what Christmas was. It was about being happy, snowball fights, and presents. The absolute best thing about Christmas. 

   Mary didn’t care if she had to stick a goddamn fur tree straight up Kira’s ass. She would feel the Christmas cheer and Riri would have a very merry Christmas. That is why Mary had decided to stay at school over winter break. Even though that meant missing her family’s celebrations. 

   The first few days were great. Mary woke up to kisses from Riri and absolutely no schoolwork. The first day Mary made them go outside. It had been snowing, practically keeping a constant layer over the school. 

   They were all freezing. Faces red from the cold. Kira was doing her ridiculous “I hate this” face while pretending like she wasn’t absolutely falling head over heels for Yumeko besides her. Runa, Dori, and Chad were building either a snowman or monstrous creature. Suki was prancing around trying to make a cute winter aesthetic tiktok for a highlight sponsorship. 

   With gloved hands Mary picked up snow and patted it firmly together. She had one thought and besides Riri being cute watching her curiously it was her first order of business. 

   The snowball hit Kira square in the chest. She gasped, murder in her eyes. Riri made a little noise of surprise beside her that made butterflies blossom in her chest. 

   “What the hell,” Kira hissed. Yumeko truly really tried to hide her laugh but it burst forth anyways. 

   “I’m teaching you the Christmas spirit, Kira.” Mary went to pack another snowball. 

   “No you aren’t. You’re using this as an excuse to—“ Mary threw another snowball at her. She jumped, pulling Yumeko right in front of her. Sadly it wasn’t quick enough and the ball of snow hit both of their arms. 

   “Nice using your girlfriend as a human shield,” Mary chuckled. Yumeko really didn’t seem to mind but pouted at Kira anyway. Kira’s nose scrunched, swiping snow from her winter coat. Her eyes narrowed over Yumeko’s shoulder. “Are you gonna fight back or just stand there? Riri, please feel free to throw snowballs at them.”

   Mary was already grabbing more snow. Riri hesitantly followed her, watching Mary’s movements far too closely. They didn’t even stand up before a snowball was whirling through the air. Mary shrieked, ducking her head. “Hey! No headshots!” Mary shouted. 

   “But that’s where it would cause you the most pain,” Kira deadpanned. She already balled a second one. Mary was quick to stand, throwing one quickly across the courtyard. 

   Then proceeded one of the most aggressive snowball fights Mary had ever been in. Which said a lot considering she grew up with older siblings. It was glorious, freezing, and absolutely did not teach Kira the Christmas spirit. Mary thinks she might still have snow in her ear. Kira walked away smirking with Yumeko right beside her. Mary spent the night in a warm bathtub with Riri, bubbles, and many, many kisses. Mary would have to workshop her plan but that could definitely wait. 

   She tried forcing them to make cookies. Riri was an absolute angel. Kira lasted about one minute before they were both arguing. Riri and Yumeko physically separated them while the rest of the council watched with glee, stuffing their mouths with the frosting tubes, staining their skin on accident.

   Still, Mary persisted. 

   Saint Dominic’s had Christmas trees scattered around. Fake, void of the emotional attachment that decorating one with your family could create. They were perfect, not a branch or leaf out of place. Mary kind of hated them for that reason alone. The school was a decorated winter wonderland that didn’t mean anything. 

   The Christmas tree that was flown in was real. They had Chad, Dori, and Riri drag it through the school, up the elevator, and into the council dorm. It left a lingering scent in the halls, sweet and reminiscent of childhood if you asked Mary. Or the wet (“How can it smell wet? The tree is dry.” Mary asked. Kira exasperates somewhere, allowing her annoyance to be visible just to piss Mary off.) drowning scent of wood. 

   There was a trail of leaves through the hallways. It took them far too long to set up the tree. Suki lost the instructions for the base. It wasn’t too complicated so Mary felt she could do it. But Kira insisted that she would do it. Which means Riri was doing it while Kira told her what to move around. The tree nearly crushed Chad, who Runa used as a human shield. The first time it nearly came down, swaying back and forth with shouting from every council member. She was pretty sure Dori was shouting in glee and placing bets on somebody getting impaled by a branch. 

   Finally, when the tree was standing up straight, stable and not about to crush Chad the real decorating started. That can’t go wrong, right? Nothing bad could happen, right?

   “You’re so insufferable!” Mary finally shouted. Kira looked like she didn’t care. Blank expression, watching Mary’s outburst with what Mary knew has to be hidden amusement. 

   “I’m insufferable? All you’ve done is whine like a toddler since staying here,” Kira retorts. She kicks the box of ornaments to the side, moving it far out of her way to step closer to a seething Mary. 

   “All I’ve done is leave my family for the holidays to stay with you to make your experience better!”

   “You stayed here for Riri, which is admirable. You didn’t stay here for me. Everyone in this room knows that. Which is why you’ve been complaining nonstop.”

   Mary’s going to throw herself down the stairs. It’s decided. Just tumbling right down from the highest floor all the wall down to the immaculate marble, cleanly swept floor, that shined so hard you could eat off it. She sees Riri move out of the corner of her eyes, dismantling her finely curated plan of framing Kira for her own murder. 

   “You’re such a bitch. That’s why you can’t let your own sister enjoy anything.” Kira moves forward sharply. Yumeko grabs her from around the waist, stopping her in her tracks. Riri stands on the edge of them, clearly not knowing what to do. Guilt wells in her chest for putting that choice on Riri. Mary continues anyway, because the burning, the tunnel vision that is zeroing in on Kira forces her tongue to move freely. “Maybe that’s why you never did anything for Christmas even when you were little. Because oh, poor Kira, can’t handle it.”

   Mary hears the words register just as the wave of gasps ricochet around the room. Everyone stops, even her. Riri now looks at her with a hurt expression that makes her regret everything she’s ever done. Then, controlled, robotically Kira fixes herself, pushes Yumeko’s arms off her. Without a single word she sharply turns and exits the room. 

  Yumeko sends Mary a look she didn’t need. She already knew. Yumeko follows fast after. The silence is suffocating. Mary forces her eyes to her girlfriend who hasn’t moved an inch. Mary tries to speak, laughably, it doesn’t work. Nothing would be good enough anyways. The anger feels like a far off world looking into green eyes. 

   Quietly Riri leaves. Mary knows she won’t be seeing Riri in her bed tonight. 

   “That was fucked up, even for you, diva,” Suki whistles. 

   “Shut up,” Mary hisses. 

   “I don’t think Arkadi even knows what Christmas is. He creates sadness for food,” Chad says, trying to add a joke on the add but for fuck sake could they just shut up? 

   “We appreciate you wanting to do all this stuff with us but… she is right. None of us asked you to leave your family. If you wanted to spend time with Riri you should have just invited her there,” Runa says, eating two lollipops at once. 

   “If I wanted tension I would have just stayed home. That’s not fun,” Dori says, she’s actively trying to pry apart a snow globe with her knife. 

   Mary leaves. Because what else was she supposed to do after that? Mary’s brain could move fast, but it was too fast for herself. She needed everything to stop. For them to be quiet just so she could try and hear one sentence in her head. The hallways were dead. Her bedroom was freezing. Christmas Eve was tomorrow and she wouldn’t fall asleep with Riri’s arms wrapped around her for the first time in forever.

   This was the exact sequence of events that spoke to the universe. Strings were pulled, rewound, if the word choice pleases you. It certainly didn’t please anyone, including Mary. 

~

   The morning was not peaceful. Her head hurt like a bitch. Mary should have heard birds chirping without the twinge of needles in her skull. Should have felt the essence of Christmas in the shiver up her spine from the freezing cold outside. She should have been able to sit up and stare at the frost on the glass. The outside blanketed in a white perfect sheet, the Christmas lights Kira forced house pets to wrangle around trees and flag poles. She should have felt Riri’s arms around her waist. Woken up to kisses and soft murmurs that’d make her melt. No, of course not. 

   Insistent ringing woke her up. It started as a constant flow of texts, then a call. And another call. The noise didn’t cease to end and pulled her from a very heavy deep sleep. Huffing and very groggily Mary grabbed her phone. “What?” she hissed into the receiver, barely seeing Yumeko’s contact name. 

   “I-I need you to come to Kira’s room. Right now. Like— right now.” Mary sat up quickly. She’s never heard so much desperation in Yumeko’s voice, which was an all around horrifying thought. The events of yesterday crashed into her head. Yumeko should be mad at her. 

   “What happened?” Mary’s forcing herself onto her legs. Out of the warmth of her pile of blankets. She almost tripped over a random discarded pile of paint bottles. Paint brushes clattered onto the floor, the glass jar they were in rolling across the room as she cursed.

   “Just get here quick!” The phone hung up. 

   Mary did indeed move very quickly. Yumeko was one to play around, have fun and fuck with people however she would not mess around about Kira. Especially after what Mary had so unceremoniously said. If she said something was wrong then something was far beyond wrong. 

   Dressed in a comfortable sweater that was totally not Riri’s (it was) Mary left her dorm room. She had a thousand worries in her mind. The most circling Arkadi and what that pathetic man did this time. The urgency and distress in Yumeko’s voice could only mean him. It had too. She imagined a whirlwind of things he could have done. What’s the worst is that she knows not even her imagination can come up with all the atrocities. 

   Mary didn’t waste her time knocking. She entered Kira's room with a feverish sleepy haze. Her eyes kinda sting from waking up too fast. One of her boots was untied. “What happened?” she asked before the door was open and the sight could fully shock her. 

   Mary froze. 

   Yumeko was standing across the bedroom looking worse for wear. Her hands were raised, she had backed herself into Kira’s desk and fish tank. Which didn’t make sense till you processed the truly shocking sight of the little kid curled up in a ball in Kira’s bed. Ridiculously blonde hair. When Mary says blonde, she really does mean blonde. It’s like she’s the descendant of Daenerys Targaryen with how practically neatly platinum-white her hair is.

   “Whose… white baby is that?”

   “It— I’m pretty sure it’s Kira,” Yumeko replies in a shaky voice. Far from her normal smooth sultry tone. Mary didn’t blame her for a single second. 

   “And why… do we believe the child is Kira?”

   “I woke up, and she was there! In Kira’s shirt asleep. I know how it doesn’t make sense but that— that’s Kira,” Yumeko exasperated. The poor girl in the bed, who was indeed awake, did not take kindly to Yumeko’s loud words. They had the absolute horror of watching her flinch and back further into the wall. Mary realizes underneath the blanket she is clutching she’s wearing a much bigger familiar blue shirt. 

   “Well— Maybe Kira put her there,” Mary reasoned. 

   “Why would Kira have a child!”

   “Stop yelling, you’re scaring her.” Yumeko whined. Eyes frantically looking back at the bed with the same desperate expression. 

   “I keep scaring her,” she murmurs, voice low. “I didn’t mean to wake her up. But I freaked out and then she freaked out and—“

   “You know what, I’m calling Riri.” Mary ignores the little girl's head popping up from the name. She calls Riri with shaking fingers from adrenaline praying that she answers. 

   It rings. And rings. Mary calls again. She sends Yumeko a glance whose fidgeting with her chip. The room is quiet besides the faint ringing of her phone. It goes to voicemail. It’s not even that early, Riri would normally be awake by now. She would answer Mary’s call. 

   An uneasy feeling settled. Mary looked back at the blonde little girl in the bed who may or may not be Kira. She kind of hoped this was some sick game. That would be easier. That this was Kira’s way of teaching her a lesson after what she had said. Setting a random scared child on her hands to deal with for Christmas. Watching the little girl curl further into the blanket looking at them wearily with fear made her stomach sick. 

   “Put on a kids show. I’m checking Riri’s room.”

   “I don’t know any kids shows.”

   “Just do My Little Pony or Pokémon. It doesn’t matter.” Mary hurried out the door leaving a perplexed and anxious Yumeko. 

   The halls were quiet. Riri’s room wasn’t far from Kira’s. Coming into the new year, for reasons, the sisters purposely left some space between their bedrooms. Just empty rooms, god forbid they have actual students between them. Enough to leave a gap that felt efficient enough. 

   Mary hesitated at the door. She’s not sure what she expected. What she really wanted was to find her girlfriend head first into her pillow in a deep sleep. Cute, cheeks tinged red and expression that kind of softness that only happens when you’re completely out of it. But what you wanted and what you expected were never really the same thing. 

   Mary didn’t knock, she opened the door slowly. Not necessarily quietly, she let it creak. Let the hinges have a moment to announce someone was entering. The room's lights were off. The light of the sun peeked through Riri’s window, hitting every plant on her windowsill. 

   Then she saw what she expected, because the universe was an absolute bitch. She was sleeping, thank god. Mary didn’t question whether it was Riri or not. She was so young. She knew it happened when Riri was young. Seeing the pink scar on her little face broke a part of her she thought she’d already handled the first time Riri gave her the story. 

   She left. Shutting the door quieter than when she came in. Mary for a moment just held a hand over her mouth, tilting her head back against the wood of the door. Her eyes squeezed. They didn’t have time for Mary to take a minute. She took it anyway. Steadying her breathing, listening to how loudly her own heart was. 

   She broke away from the door slowly making her way back to Kira’s room. 

~

   Mary paused. Head spinning already from the sight. Yumeko looked as if her brian was about to blow a gasket. Kira was one second away from having a silent panic attack. “What happened?” Mary asked, not moving further into the room in case it would make it worse.

   “I tried putting on Pokemon but that just made her cry. So I tried putting on My Little Pony and that just had her silently crying harder. I don’t know what to do,” Yumeko stressed. “She rides horses. She likes horses. They have like fifteen of them.”

   Mary watched Kira. Who was still bundled up in the same spot. Her back was cleanly pressed to the wall with her arms tightly wrapped around her knees. Tears were quite quickly making their way down her face. It was extremely eerie to not hear one little noise, not even a sniffle coming from her.

   Mary swallowed nervously, taking a step towards the bed. Big blue eyes were immediately on her, the size of saucers. “Hey there sweetheart.” It was hard to look at her knowing it was Kira. The image didn’t match, nor did it make sense. Even if Mary knew the reality of how they grew up, contrary to what she said last night. Crossing the wires and seeing her as an actual child made it completely different. Knowing and seeing were two different things. Kira didn’t even do anything, just looked at her with her stupid big blue watery eyes. 

   Mary stopped right at the edge of the bed, kneeling on the ground with her arms resting on the comforter. Kira didn’t shift, keeping her eyes carefully on Mary. “I know you must be really scared right now. That’s okay. We’re not going to hurt you. Yumeko didn’t mean to scare you, she was just scared too,” Mary said, voice gentle. Kira didn’t react. “There’s nothing wrong with being scared.” Still, nothing. 

   She sighed, sitting back on her heels. Her stomach knotted itself for a new reason. “Do you know when they were taught English?” Mary asks. 

   “I assumed they grew up with both. I grew up with both English and Japanese.”

   “Teaching children languages while they’re young is the best way but I don’t… she’s not reacting to what we’re saying.” Mary thinks for a second. If Kira had no idea what she was saying, that would make this situation even more terrifying for her. She could use her phone to translate to Russian. Still Mary doubts the voice of a computer would calm Kira down.

   But… one person could.

   “You wanna go see Riri?” Mary asks. Kira’s head immediately perks up upon hearing her sister's name. Mary smiles, standing slowly from the bed. She carefully extended her hand, not too close yet enough. She let Kira stare for as long as she wanted to before she finally took the offered hand and crawled from the bed. 

   “She needs clothes,” Yumeko murmurs. “Are we trusting the rest of the council with this?”

   “I think we’re going to need to, regrettably. Why don’t you inform them while I take Kira to Riri?”

   “Yeah… probably best.” Yumeko ducks her head. It hurts seeing her friend so… out of it. Yumeko opened the door for them, leaving it open before quickly walking down the hallway.

   Mary sighed deeply. Kira’s hand was small, she held on barely. Her face was flushed, eyes still welling with tears. Her lip didn’t tremble. She had a small pinch between her brows as if she was trying not to. The whole situation made her want to vomit. She didn’t of course. Mary kept holding her hand and walked them out into the hallway.

   Kira was always observant. Even now she drank in every inch of the environment. Mary wondered if that came from fear or some inside cog that ticked to analyse. When they got to Riri’s door she was quiet this time. Opening it with ease so the hinges didnt creak. 

   Riri was still asleep in the bed. Kira bolted for her the second she could. Mary bit her tongue, watching her jump onto the bed and check Riri’s pulse. The youngest Timurov groaned, a little whine as she shifted asleep. Kira curled closer, interlacing their fingers together, and she spoke in Russian. 

   Riri’s eyes blinked open wearily. She was frozen, fine. Staring at Kira, listening closely to whatever she was saying. Mary didn’t see it coming. She should have. She truly, really, should have expected this from a mile away. Kira had already cried over Yumeko, Pokemon, and fucking My Little Pony. Riri’s fingers brushed her face. Her lips, her cheek, the scar. That stupid god awful mark Arkadi left on a little girl. 

   Mary moved like someone had struck her. The first hint of Riri’s trembling lip the realization dawning across her face she didn’t have a mask. In this moment it didn’t matter whether Arkadi pushed this, or Riri herself just wanted it. 

   Mary would give it to her. Mary grabbed a mask hanging on the wall, a simple black one. It was too big for her. That was evident before Mary even handed it over. Riri clawed for it. Securing it around her face, looping the strings around her face to keep it in place. The whole room paused as the mask clung to her heaving mouth from the pull of her lungs. Kira just held her hand. Mary didn’t dare move. She was afraid to. She wanted a bubble to form just around them, protective and safe from the world. 

   Kira tentatively reached up to fix how the mask sat. Green eyes steadied on the movement before letting out a languid breath. Kira whispered something Mary didn’t hear. Which didn’t really matter, anyways, she doubts she would be able to understand. 

   Her phone pinged. 

Yume: runa’s gonna fly and get some kids clothes :) gonna get breakfast! try putting on a fish documentary 

   Mary looked up at the ceiling, beyond really. An imagined sky, an imagined space with infinite stars till she was met with the universe as its whole. It was Christmas Eve. The universe instead of gifting them with presents magically threw this at them. As if Pandora’s box of trauma was what they wanted. God forbid it gave them actual reindeers or a real life Santa Clause. None of them needed this. 

   Mary looked away from the ceiling, her imagination and all thoughts running rampant. Riri’s laptop was closed on her desk. Mary listened to what Yumeko suggested. They honestly should have thought of it before with how many fish tanks Kira put over this goddamn place. The sisters were still whispering as she perused before finding what looked to be a safe fish documentary to put on. 

   She settled the screen on the edge of the bed. Far enough away so they wouldn't knock it off, yet close enough to listen and watch. They didn’t right away, which was fine. Both their tears were subsiding which is what mattered. In the petering off, the ending of Kira’s whispered words both their attentions slowly shifted to the screen. Mary sat herself in the desk chair, pivoting between watching them and the documentary.

~

   “They might think it’s poisoned,” Mary says. The plates had both gone untouched since setting them on the bed. Riri’s blanket was wrapped tightly around the both of them. Mary had given them the soft fluffy one Riri hides in her closet for when she really needs it. It was warm, and green. Riri's favorite color. 

   “I wouldn’t poison them as kids,” Yumeko says. 

   “Why are you specifying— Nevermind. I’m pretty sure they think they’re kidnapped, so.” 

   They both sit in silence. The voice of the documentary on hammerhead sharks is the only noise in the room. Yumeko is the first to move. She’s tentative with whatever she’s about to try. She sits on the floor just like Mary had earlier that day. The pancakes on the plates had already been cut up into small pieces. The sisters watched Yumeko. She stabbed a piece eating it slowly. 

   “I know you’re hungry,” Yumeko murmurs. “Please?” she asks. Neither of them really show any signs of understanding her. Yumeko sighs, a little dejected but smiles through it. She tries offering the fork. Kira flinches, eyes unwavering from the fork. Riri doesn’t move, a statue besides her sister. Not in any sort of protective stance, just there. 

   Yumeko purses her lips, sets down the fork and silently sits back at the desk. Mary doesn’t know what to say. The far off look in Yumeko’s eyes now is worse than it was last night. 

   “She just doesn’t understand what you’re trying to do,” Mary offers gently. 

   “I know.”

   “She’s in an unfamiliar place and doesn’t remember you. Don’t take it to heart.”

   Riri is the first one to move. Mary tries to hide her relief. She’s slow, she hesitates for five minutes before slipping a loop of her mask off. Mary counted every second. Pancakes with chocolate chips were enticing to any child. Mary knew as a fact that Riri had never had them till her. It was different than the first time. The moment was completely tilted off its axis. Riri ate the first bite, not moving for a very long time. 

   Riri came to a decision. Clear by how she grabbed Kira’s fork, stabbed a piece of pancake and offered it to her. Kira didn’t seem pleased. She took the offer anyway. She watched Riri eat three more bites before she finally decided to put it in her mouth. Just like her sister she had a very similar reaction. Mary sighed in relief that they were both finally eating. 

“—Hammerheads have specialized adaptations that make them incredible hunters, especially of bottom dwelling animals like rays—” 

   “Why’d you say it?” Yumeko asks. Mary doesn’t have to ask what she means. She just wished she didn’t have to face her own stupid actions. 

   “I was angry,” Mary says. 

“—And they’re using those ampullae within that cephalofoil, both to detect signals from prey—“ 

   “You were… angry,” Yumeko murmurs like she doesn’t fully understand her words. They both let it sit there between them. 

“—And we know that they'll in fact use that hammer—“ 

   “You think she caused it.” 

   “I never said that,” Mary rushes out. Yumeko laughs softly, unceremoniously. Quiet enough for the girls not to pay attention to them, but loud enough for it to pierce Mary where she wants it too. 

   “It doesn’t matter if you said it point blank. It doesn’t matter if that’s even what you meant—“

   “That wasn’t what I meant. I just— I wasn’t thinking, okay? I was angry and I forgot. Because I’m stupid and-and lucky enough to not have been hurt like them. So I fucked up, Yumeko,” Mary says rushed, hot breath and even hotter cheeks burning with self contempt. 

   A few minutes pass. 

“—their lives in the depths of the ocean remain a mystery—“ 

   “You don’t even know how you acted since staying here, do you?” Yumeko asks. “You don’t— She was right. This wasn’t you and her arguing a normal amount. She would do something and you would pick at her—“

   “I didn’t—“

   “Because it wasn’t what you expected. Because it wasn’t what was “right” or what you thought she should act like. Your girlfriend can do something wrong and she’s perfect. But if she does something wrong it’s purposeful, curated, and to piss you off. She’s methodical, and calculated, but still human. Who doesn’t know how to have some curated movie magic Christmas experience.”

“—the hammerheads are finally returning to Darwin—“

   Yumeko abruptly stood. Too fast, both the girls stopped to look at her. Yumeko crumbled underneath her mask. “Runa should be back soon with their clothes.”

   “Yume—“ Yumeko doesn’t slam the door. The careful shutting of it is even worse to Mary than a slam would have been. Out of the corner of her eye she can see the sisters watching her and the door as if they were trying to figure out what happened. 

~

   The girls were in the bathroom hopefully changing. Mary didn’t care if a shirt was backwards, or inside out. All that mattered was that they were in something that fit them better. They’d cut off all tags before handing them over for both of them. She wasn’t sure how Kira liked her clothes but knew Riri hated tags.  

   Runa spun in Riri’s desk chair, haphazardly humming with a lollipop in her mouth. “Where’s Yumeko?” Runa asks. “I would’ve figured she’d be here.”

   “She…” Mary searches for words, but everything damned her so she might as well say the truth. “We talked about last night. It didn’t go well. She needed to breathe.”

   Runa stops spinning. She stares at Mary with eyes that ask a perfectly good question of “are you stupid?” without saying it out loud. Yes, Mary would respond, if she voiced it. Runa pulled the cherry sucker from her lips, mock thoughtfully pointing it towards her. “What do you think?”

   “That I fucked up.”

   “Obviously.”

   “I just… I found it so ridiculous that even though you stay here alone they don’t do anything. You’re supposed to do stuff. The tree, cookies, stupid gingerbread houses, playing in the snow, presents. And-And I wanted to help make them happy.”

   “Did you?” Runa asks. 

   Mary’s throat bobs. She watches the bathroom door with hazy eyes. “I did.”

   “Did you?” Runa presses once more.

   Mary shook her head. Then voiced it, because doing the action wasn’t loud enough. Wasn’t vibrant and forceful enough for her actions. “No.” 

   “You know, they might not decorate or bake cookies but they do do stuff. They gift each other something. Nothing physically big, but notable. Important, whether they have the words to voice it or not. That’s special to them. It is theirs. They wouldn’t be able to do that if they were home.”

   “They… didn’t tell me that,” Mary murmured.

   “Because they’re still afraid they’re going to get reprimanded for it.” 

   Mary winced. She didn’t even have time to respond as the bathroom door opened. Riri came out first, Kira following closely behind her. Their shirts were on correctly, tucked into their pants. Each of them had surprisingly folded what they had been wearing before. Mary’s never seen a little kid be so perfect. Riri handed her the clothes, Mary took them with a quiet thank you. They both quickly scurry back onto the bed, wrapping the blanket around themselves.

   “Do you think you could lend each of them a stuffed animal?” Mary asks. Runas' whole face scrunched up in disgust. “Runa.”

   “What if Kira ruins it?” 

   Mary rolls her eyes. The idea of Kira ruining a stuffed animal was absurd. Honestly, even though Mary wants them each to have one to give them something else to do she’s not sure they’d even play with it. “She won’t. It’s Kira. Look me in the eyes and tell me you think Kira is the type of kid to do that.”

   “But it’s mine!” Runa whines too loudly, mouth pouting around her sucker. “Just print out pictures of fish and Kira will line them up and look at them, probably even more happy! Riri already has the windowsill of plants, look at her go. Happy in her own little world.”

   “Runa, that’s not going to work.”

   Runa narrows her eyes. 

   There is a montage of using Runas laptop to search and print pictures of fish. Cutting them out neatly, far too precisely before handing them over to Kira on the bed. Riri was indeed half paying attention to the documentary currently on, and staring at her plants on the windowsill. Something Mary has caught her multiple times doing when she was an adult. Some things never changed. 

   Kira does exactly what Runa said she would do. Staring at her line of fish. She’s not smiling but she’s definitely happy. Runas smirk is far too cocky. Mary wants to shove that lollipop right up her—

   “I know my mother,” Runa says. She's spinning on the chair again now that they’ve stopped their random rush around to see who was right or not. 

   “Well, it’s Christmas Eve. So what do you wanna do toots?” Runa asks, the mocking is very evident in her tone. Even if the girls didn’t understand what she said Mary is sure even they felt it. 

   “We definitely aren’t watching anything other than fish documentaries,” Mary mumbles. She ignores the curious look Runa gives. “What do you remember them liking when they were younger?”

   “What?” Runa laughs. “Their father didn’t let them leave the house till middle school. And even then they were homeschooled till highschool. None of us know what they were like as children.” 

   Mary pauses, slowly turning to look at the girl spinning round and round. “You-- They-- I thought all the Council kids grew up together?”

   “We did! We knew of Kira and Riri but hadn’t met them till they were twelve. The only one who knew them before was… well… Michael.”

   “Michael?” Mary hissed. “What am I supposed to do with that information?”

   “I dunno.” Runa shrugged. “You asked. Maybe we should go outside?”

   Mary looked towards the window. It wasn’t currently snowing but the blanket that landed was still pristinely there. She really didn’t want to deal with the aftermath of cold shivering kids but it wasn’t a bad idea. It would occupy them while not just staring watching a screen all day. “Did you buy them coats?”

   “Of course I bought them coats. I bought them everything.”

~

   Runa skipped ahead of them. Mary sent a text to Yumeko where they would be. She hadn’t responded. Mary hoped she would come down anyway. They’d given the girls coats, boots that didn’t quite fit correctly, and gloves that were too long for their fingers. Kira was holding her and Riri’s hand. At first nothing seemed very wrong. The girls had a sense of uncertainty in them since waking up, understandable. But the closer they got to the outside doors, the harder Kira gripped her hand, the slower they began to walk. 

   They got to the doors. Runa opened them rather dramatically. Wind burst down the hallway, messing up everybody's hair, instantly sending a sharp shiver up their spines. It is exactly what set Kira off. And Kira being set off followed by Riri being set off. It occurs so fast Mary doesn’t even have time to react.

   “They’re running!” Mary shouts. Surprisingly, instead of running outside, Kira pulled them right back into the school. 

   “Huh?” Runa almost trips over her feet. She spins around, halfway out of the arch of the doors. 

   Mary’s instinct has her running after them. She once had to run after her little brother on the beach. He had gotten nearly a mile away from them before some burly man had scooped him up. He had been laughing the whole time. Mary did not find it funny at all. 

   “Mary!” Runa yells from behind her. 

   The girls were fast. Very fast. Somehow, even though they weren’t aware of the secret passageways Saint Dominic’s had, one second they were turning a corner and the next they vanished. Mary skidded to a stop, heaving, cheeks burning, adrenaline pumping through her veins. 

   A few seconds later Runa skidded to a stop next to her. “What the hell happened?”

   “They ran away.”

   “Yeah, but why!”

   Mary rolled her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something before she heard the unmissable sound of heeled boots hitting the floor. She looked behind them, watching with increasing turmoil as Yumeko grew closer. 

   “Why are you in the hallways? Did one of them need the bathroom?” Runa and Mary shared a look. One that said “You say it!” Runa wasn’t going to utter a word. There was a silent you deserve this hanging over Mary’s head. 

   Mary took a deep breath, swallowing the lump.  “They ran away.”

   “Outside—“ Yumeko begins with horror. 

   “No, inside. They were getting scared and then Kira just took off, followed by Riri. I lost them around the corner,” Mary says. “The doors opened and-and that was it.”

   Yumeko blinked, before she sighed and a shaky hand ran through her hair. “No, that wasn’t it,” she mumbled. She looked far down the hallway where the girls had mysteriously run off. “Did you tell them what was happening?”

   Runa and Mary looked at one another. 

   “She did? No I didn’t! You never told them?” Came an in sync argument. 

   “Look,” Mary put her hands up. “None of us know Russian. Even if we tried to explain to them we were gonna play outside, it's not like they’d understand.”

   “Dori knows Russian,” Runa says. 

   “Well what the fuck, Runa!” Mary shouts. 

   “What? You want Dori talking to children?” Runa waves her lollipop at her. 

   Mary clasped her hands together. She turned abruptly around, closing her eyes. Everything was fine. Nothing was wrong and the universe totally wasn’t fucking them in the ass! 

   “Theory,” Yumeko starts softly. “If they do think we kidnapped them, maybe they don’t want to leave? They’ve been watching ocean documentaries since waking up. We fed them pancakes with chocolate and far too much syrup. So when you prepared them and took them to the door…”

   “They thought they were going home,” Mary said, turning sharply.

   “Exactly,” Yumeko says with a pause before her eyes become sharp. “But it’s Kira’s fault they could never have Christmas, right?”

   Mary didn’t respond with anger, yelling that she didn’t mean the shape her words had taken. Instead, she looked Yumeko right in her eyes and tried to convey her sincerity. “I will do whatever I can to fix it. My words were wrong. They never should have been said, or thought. When she is back, when they are both back to normal I’ll do what I have to, to make it right.”

   “You better. Not that it should matter but you hurt Riri just as much as you hurt Kira,” Yumeko says. 

   “I know. I’ll do better.”

~

   The Council was split. Chad and Suki were watching the cameras. Yumeko and Runa were walking around one half the school while Mary was paired with Dori. Who was not quiet, and would probably scare them off faster than a door could shut. 

   They walked without talking to one another. Dori was talking, but not to her. Mostly to herself as she spun a knife around. Mary thought about asking her to put it away but decided she’d like to keep all her extremities intact. 

   She checked her phone, nothing from the boys or Runa and Yumeko that the girls had been found. They’d checked Riri and Kira’s room first, wondering if they had gone back to hide there but nothing. The student council lounge was empty. The hallways echoed with Mary’s words said last night with each aggravating second.  

   “Do you think I can make it better?” Mary asks. 

   “Probably. Maybe not. No, you could,” Dori says in one rush. “They’ve both heard worse. Just… wasn’t expecting it from you.”

   “Do you think I’ve been nitpicking her?”

   “Oh totally. Riri was trying to decorate an ornament as a chrysanthemum but Kira tried something not Christmas related and you snapped. You said the tree had to be perfect, but didn’t like how strict Kira was being with the decorations because it wasn’t “inclusive” and didn’t inspire “the Christmas spirit” Which is just some made up bullshit. Not to mention how you took us outside just so you could throw a snowball at her without warning—“

   “Okay, I get it.”

   “Even though they don’t like the cold. But they both went outside anyways because you made it sound fun and not like a fucked up punishment their father would have placed on them. Neither of them have followed us outside.” 

   Mary’s face scrunched up painfully the longer Dori spoke. “They don’t like the outside?” 

   “They don’t like the cold,” Dori specified. “Once they got in trouble at a party. I accidentally found them hiding under a bed while looking for something fun. Kira said when they got home they wouldn’t be allowed inside because of her mistakes and they didn’t want to go because it was too cold. Which is definitely not fun.” 

   Mary’s phone pinged. Her hands were shaking as she checked it. 

Chad: Closest to Mary and Dori. Diamond and Heart house intersecting rotunda. Watching the cylinder fish tank.

   “Come on, Chad found them. Stay quiet.” Mary was pleasantly surprised to watch Dori put her knife away. 

   “They did have fun outside,” Dori says after a few seconds. “Kira’s headshot certainly made her happy,” she laughed, voice echoing too loudly. Mary could still feel the pain and freezing cold that rushed all over her. “Snowball fight not so bad.”

   “Could have been executed better,” Mary grumbles. Even if it had been exceptionally funny to watch Kira’s shock and surprise at getting a snowball to the chest. 

   It didn’t take them long to get there. They stealthed on the edge of the archway. Thankfully they came in at Kira’s back. Her jacket was off, from the looks of it, so was Riri’s. Instead of sitting besides her sister Riri’s head was in her lap with Kira’s hand running through her hair. Mary couldn’t help but take out her phone and take a quiet picture before shoving it back. 

   Dori grabbed her wrist tugging her down to the floor. Mary tried to not let her boots squeak as she sat next to the woman. She’s not sure if this was better or if slowly walking around it to be in their line of sight was. 

   “They weren’t going to take you home. They just wanted to play outside,” Dori says in perfect Russian. Not butchered, not haphazardly pieced together. Mary’s not even going to question anything after today. Hell, there could magically be another moon and she wouldn’t bat an eye. 

   The only sign Kira heard them is the quiet Russian sentence that followed a few stilted seconds later. “Leave us out there?” Mary doesn’t know what’s happening, but she hopes it’s going well. She had to assume it was with this being the first sentence either of them had said all day long. 

   “No.” 

   There was a very long pause that followed. One that made her nerves feel like livewires. Mary didn’t say anything, terrified that would make everything worse. She looked up at the ceiling, towards the outward universe, the stars, and said a silent I’m so sorry, please let this get better. 

   “Мы говорим по-английски,” Kira says. Dori breaks out into loud laughter, smiling widely. Kira jumps, turns around looking confused. She smooths it over just like Mary has seen her do as an adult countless times. Riri sits up from her lap, adjusting the mask on her face, glancing back at them.

   “Would you like to play outside?” Dori asks, still in Russian. 

   Kira’s eyes flicker between them. “Она тоже будет там?” Dori quickly nodded her head, smiling even wider with her teeth. 

   Kira stood from the floor first, one long last glance at the fishtank as if it would be the very last time she saw it. The lights, the fish, the coral inside all reflected onto her body in waves. She looked away, helping pull Riri back up from the floor and into her winter coat before shimming into her own. 

   Kira walked towards them with her head held high. Her eyes were anywhere but them. A very interesting contrast. Riri strayed more in front of her than behind her. In this moment, Riri looked at her so cleanly. As if she decided now was the time to open and split Mary apart to learn every inch of her. Slowly, green eyes looked at Dori before she nodded. Not to them, but for Kira. Right after Kira extended her hand to Mary. 

   Mary took it. She couldn’t hesitate, not now. Not when the girl's feelings and sense of safety were so out of whack. She stood from the floor, leaving Dori behind to figure it out on her own. 

   “You’re going back outside,” Dori says. She hops up, too high and with far too much energy. “I’ll gather the others. Don’t wait up.” She’s bounding down the corridor, and suddenly through a secret passageway that Mary definitely needed to write down for later. 

~

   Mary contemplates taking them up to the room instead of outside. But if Dori made a promise, she didn’t know what the ramifications of breaking that could be. Mary didnt have to open the door. Riri let go of Kira’s hand, giving her a mild mini heart attack before she opened it for them. Kira held tightly to her hand as they stepped out into the snow and walked further till they were in the center of the courtyard. 

   She’s not sure what she expected. Kids normally would run off in an instant and start doing things. Whether it was furiously stomping on snow, or trying to lick a lamppost. Neither Kira or Riri moved. They just stood there, awkwardly. More awkwardly than when Mary brought them outside just yesterday. 

   Mary tried letting go of Kira’s hand. She did not let her. So she knelt on the ground and started making a ball to be a base for a snowman. The girls watched her curiously. She rolled it around, trying to pack on as much snow as she could before having a medium sized ball. 

   She walked a little further away, more untouched fresh snow that she began rolling. They both seemed to get the idea of at least this step. So with Kira and Riri’s help she rolled the ball of snow around till it was slightly smaller than the first one. 

   It was kind of difficult to pick it up, she figured it out, walked back over and put it right on top of the first one. When she turned around Riri was on her knees, following exactly what Mary had done. She smiled, watching her do something so childish with so much quiet careful precision. It was both heart melting and heart breaking. She pulled her phone from her pocket, using her teeth to rip her glove off to take a quick picture of her before pocketing it. 

   The school doors opened again. All three heads turned to watch everybody come out on the lawn at once. “Couldn’t you stagger yourselves?” Mary asked. 

   “Are you guys making a snowman? I bet we can build a bigger one!” Chad challenged. He was already running and almost slipping. Runa followed right after him, laughing. He crouched down in the snow far away from them to gather his own ball. 

   “Mother always says to arrive as an entity of power,” Suki says. 

   “Yes, for business delegations or acts of show. Not towards two little kids.” Mary face palmed, watching him shrug her off, flip hair over his shoulder he didn’t have and make his way to do god knows what in the corner. 

   Dori plopped down into the snow next to Chad and Runa. She threw a small handful at them, being swatted off before laughing and maybe trying to make a snow angel. Either way she stops and stares up at the sky before beginning to see how far she can throw her knife up. 

   Yumeko is the last, behind everyone and a little apprehensive to leave the school. She does, surprisingly when Mary meets her eye. She walks over to them slowly. “Good job. At finding them.”

   “Was more Chad than anything. And Dori. Odd combo, but one that worked.” Yumeko chuckled in understanding. 

   “I got something… for them. Here.” Yumeko pulls out two chocolate bars. They’re the good expensive kind you don’t get at a normal grocery store. She smiles just as gently and lovingly as she had at them all day, and still Kira’s fear seemed to swarm inside of her. 

   Mary crouched, knees cold and wet from how many times she’s done this already. She makes sure Kira is watching her as she takes the candy from Yumeko. She sets one in her lap to tear open the other with her teeth. 

   “That was gross,” Yumeko laughs, voice sounding a little more filled. “I could have opened it.”

   “Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?” Mary knows by now Kira probably won’t eat this unless she takes a bite or it. So she snaps a small piece off and eats it. “Oh, god, this is so good. Where’d you get this?”

   “I have to keep some of my secrets, Mary.” Mary hummed in acknowledgment. She handed Kira’s candy over. They both hopefully watched as she inspected it before taking a small bite. Her eyes widened. 

   Quickly, Kira grabbed the candy from Mary’s lap and walked over to Riri. It pulled Mary, making her stumble from her spot and follow after the girl. Kira gave Riri the candy, who surprisingly opened it. With a little less grace than she would have as an adult but still impressive for a little kid. Riri didn’t take her mask off, sliding the chocolate through underneath. Having almost the exact same reaction. Riri nodded her head, giving one hum before going back to building her giant snowball. 

   “I’m sorry,” Mary says, looking back at Yumeko. 

   Yumeko shifts unevenly in the snow. “I know. Can I help build the snowman? I’ve never made one before.” It’s crushing how Yumeko looks like she’s about to be told no. Or worse, that Kira will cry just from the question she can’t even understand. 

   Instead, to both their surprise, Kira lets go of Mary. She grabs Yumeko’s hand, tugging her all the way to Riri. Yumeko looks so overjoyed she might burst into tears. Mary takes out her phone again. Now that nobody was crying it was the perfect time to snap all the pictures. Not only as proof this happened but, the obvious answer, they were very adorable. Mary didn’t have to ask to know they didn’t have childhood pictures like this. Even if neither of them were technically smiling, they were okay. Enjoying themselves however that meant. 

   With Yumeko’s help they put the last ball on the snowman. She clapped her hands. Mary instructed her to go and find rocks while she and Riri looked for sticks for his arms. They split, Kira still holding Yumeko’s hand as they crossed the courtyard. 

   Mary was happily delighted that Riri grabbed her hand even if it was only for the short walk. It meant something, that Riri trusted her enough. She didn’t really understand why Kira did. It felt weird, having her so attached while knowing when this goes back Kira will definitely be pissed at her. Riri would be too. 

   They walked a little ways away where a tree was. Mary started shifting snow around, trying to find a fallen twig or branch. Riri let go to crouch closer. Mary walked around the whole trunk before looking up and wondering if she should just try and break a twig off. Saint Dominic’s was so pristine that anything fallen was most likely immediately picked up. God forbid a tree be a tree, she thought with a snort. 

   Riri came around the tree, tugging on her coat sleeve to grab her attention. Mary has absolutely no idea how she found it when the entire place was covered in snow. Yet a small yellow flower is pinched between her little fingers. Riri offered it to her.  

   “Aww you got me a flower,” what went unsaid, that’s probably concerning, to give a flower to who you think kidnapped you. But it was too damn cute. Riri’s entire face went red. Mary had to try very hard not to laugh. “Winter jasmine. Hope and resilience. God, do we need more of that.” Mary carefully tucked the flower behind her ear, giving Riri a warm smile before trekking further to find arms for their snowman. 

~

   Mary’s not sure how it happened. They’d stuck sticks on the snowman’s body for arms. Riri and Kira both gave him buttons while Yumeko recorded. Then somewhere along the way of Kira trying to give him eyes Kira slipped. It was quick, like walking straight over a banana peel and falling shoulder first into their poor snowman who only lived for a few hours. May he rest in peace. Mary grabbed Kira as fast as she could. It didn’t save his “head” from avalancing to the ground. 

   Kira’s entire body goes rigid. Mary thinks it’s because of how she grabbed her. Hands under her arms in that weird way you sometimes picked kids up when you really shouldn’t have but had to grab them too fast. Her legs are dangling, Mary knows it looks ridiculous. She would have asked for a picture if Kira didn’t start hyperventilating. 

   “Hey, it’s okay,” Mary says. Because it feels wrong not to say anything. She sits down on the ground, trying to keep Kira standing. Kira had other plans, abruptly turning around the second she could. Clinging so tightly to her Mary can feel her nails scratch her skin. 

   “Прости. Я не хотел. Прости. Прости.”

   Mary locks eyes with Yumeko in panic. She rubs her hand up Kira’s back, slowly, reassuringly. It does the opposite of what she wants so she just holds her tighter. Like how Riri likes to be held when she’s feeling bad. “Nothings wrong. You’re okay. I promise, nothings wrong.”

   “Where did Dori go?” Yumeko asks, looking for the only other person who spoke Russian. 

   Across the courtyard Chad was buried in snow. Suki was in front of him, clearly making some sort of tiktok with Chad. Both of them didn’t move, eyes wide. Useless. 

   “She got bored. I’ll go find her,” Runa says before running off. 

   Kira’s breathing is ragged. Mary breathes deep and slow. Humming softly underneath her breath like her mom used to do when she was little. Even though her heart is a jackrabbit in her chest, she makes sure her breathing stays the same. 

   Mary looks around the courtyard again, stomach twisting when she can’t find Riri till she sees her foot poking out from behind a tree. She was hiding. “Yumeko, can you go make sure Riri is okay?” Mary tilts her head. Yumeko only hesitates for a second before leaving them. She watches Yumeko kneel in the snow, voice a whisper in the wind before looking away. 

   “You’re okay,” Mary repeats. She almost goes to kiss her forehead like she would her little brother but stops, curling tighter around her instead. “We can fix the snowman and make more. You’re not in trouble,” Mary says. She’s not even sure why she’s talking when Kira has no idea what she’s saying. Maybe she’s just hoping the sound of her voice being gentle would lull her out of it. 

   “We can watch all the documentaries about fish you want.” Mary can feel her breathing slower. Perhaps the universe decided that even if Kira didn’t know English any variation of the word fish would calm her down. “About sharks. All the sharks. Tiger sharks, whale sharks. Even ones on octopuses. Octopi? Octopods? Oktopous?”

   What feels like hours pass but what truly must be thirty seconds to a minute. 

   “An octopus isn’t a fish.”

   “What?” Mary asks, surprised, bewildered, honest to Christ gobsmacked. 

   “They’re mollusks, specifically cephalopods. Just because it’s in the water doesn’t mean it’s a fish. Sea turtles are reptiles. Whales and seals are mammals. Crustaceans are shrimp, crabs. Echinoderms are starfish, sea urchins. Jellyfish aren’t even fish, they’re phylum cnidaria. Octopus aren’t fish,” Kira says. In fucking English. Meaning she could speak it this whole time and they were both just completely ignoring everyone. 

   Kira pulls back from her neck nervously. A hiccup, coupled with a nervous tic before it’s covered up and Mary realizes her mistake. Being silent, even while stumped, sent the wrong message. This Kira couldn’t read her for filth. Couldn’t decipher Mary’s emotions without even blinking. 

   “That’s good to know.” She hopes her voice is even. “Sharks?” she asks, because if Kira talking about her clear fixation made her feel better Mary would listen to her list the entire ocean. 

   Kira wavers. Mary gives her what she begs is a warm, encouraging smile. “Sharks are fish. Their skeletons are made of cartilage instead of bones— which isn’t why they’re fish. It's just cool.”

   “That is cool. You know… we have some cookies to decorate. I’m sure they’d look very lovely as fish or… cephalopods.” Mary wanted to get them out of the snow. Out of the cold. Where their faces weren’t red, and slick with tears. Kira’s lips were starting to become pale. Holding her Mary realized how cold she was. She thinks they all needed hot chocolate and cookies. Possibly also actual lunch as well. 

   Kira is still, she’s avoiding her eyes which seems to be a recurring theme while she’s young. Mary thought Riri was the only one between them who struggled with it but Kira might just be a lot better at hiding it as she got older. “Do you want to?” Kira asks in a small voice. 

   Mary hums, “I think it could be fun. Riri can join us too. You can both decorate however you want.”

   “Like flowers?” Mary’s going to kill herself, actually. 

   “Yeah, like flowers.”

~

   Everybody had a helping of macaroni and cheese made by the one poor chef who was forced to stay over holiday for the council. It was only Yumeko and her currently with the girls. Chad nearly got hypothermia from being buried underneath snow. Suki said he wanted to document it in case any of his fingers fell off. Right, he totally wanted his nails. Runa antagonized Chad that he’d get dumber now because he froze his brain cells off. And honestly, no one really knew where Dori had vanished off too but nobody was dead so they were still in the clear.  Even if they were practicing Shrödinger’s cat every time they lost Dori to her whims. 

   Yumeko made hot chocolate with far too many marshmallows. Which was the correct way. Mary gave them all candy canes. She used it to mix hers around. Sometimes while it melted it would give a very faint taste of mint. Not nearly enough if you wanted mint hot chocolate yet still a good taste. 

   “If you wanted peppermint hot chocolate, I could have just made you that,” Yumeko says. She’s trying to help fill a tube with frosting before handing it to Kira. Yumeko licked the frosting from her fingers, skin stained yellow but she didn’t care. 

   “I didn’t,” Mary says. “Leave me alone,” she adds a little petulantly. It feels… nice. Bantering with Yumeko even though the tension is still bubbling underneath them. 

   She watched Yumeko with Kira. There was still a prevalence of tension. Yumeko being oh so very careful. Riri had been scared of her, a definite, but she hadn’t flinched because of her. Mary doesn’t think that’s a good thing either. Body freezing, unmoving from fear is just as bad as your body trying to forcefully get itself out of danger.

   Mary bites her tongue, focusing on Riri. She was on her third cookie. Her third ornament cookie to look like a flower blossoming. Neither of the girls' hands shook, they were both meticulous with their work. Precision a little kid really shouldn’t have. The lines were perfect. Some frosting color mixed but still looked far more pretty than anything Mary could try to do on a cookie. Painting was one thing, icing was a different complicated story. Pink carnation, gratitude and appreciation. Intricate, petals too perfect. If Riri was an adult right now she knows exactly what she would say, stop being good at everything, followed by a kiss on her cheek that would make Riri blush.

   Kira was halfway through her fourth cookie. A seahorse on a candy cane. Yellow body with white accents. Whatever weird spots were left were blue, like the ocean's water. Or her favorite color, which now that Mary is thinking about it makes a hell of a lot of sense. Of course Kira’s favorite color would have something to do with water, that has all her favorite animals inside it. 

   Mary thought about what happened last time they did this. She thought about everybody's words. They were right, of course. There wasn’t anything wrong with Kira wanting to draw fish on a fucking ornament cookie just because. Mary had a tendency to put Kira on some weird level for no reason, she saw that now. Kira and Riri were both different people, yes, of course. Kira was just as human, just as intricate with likes, dislikes, wants, and needs as Riri was. Very far from a robot that moved through the world trying to pull strings and piss Mary off at every second. 

   Kira pulled her tube back from her cookie, looking at the yellow body of the seahorse. Yumeko smiled softly at her, handing her the little tube to add more white where she wanted. Kira took it with ease, so focused on what she was doing. They all could have had this the other day if Mary hadn’t ruined it.

   “I’m sorry,” Mary says. Out of nowhere. Yumeko looks up at her anyway, smiling softly. 

   “I know,” she says again, like she had last time. Like she had just a few hours ago. “I’ll help you when things are back to normal. I… I want my best friend. And I want her to be happy with her girlfriend.”

   “And her sister. Who definitely wasn’t trying to piss me off and I was just making conclusions and being an asshole for no reason,” Mary says evenly.

   Yumeko snorts, smirking slowly. She reaches across the small space to smear icing across Mary's cheek. “Well… she did throw multiple snowballs at your face.”

   “Warranted.” Yumeko laughs, pulling back to suck excess icing from her fingers. 

   “She… She really was trying. Some of the arguments weren’t all your fault. She could have been more lenient with the tree but it’s just-- She’s complicated.”

   “Yeah, she is,” Mary says. She doesn’t mean it in a bad way. Yumeko nods, understanding. 

   Kira nudges Yumeko which knocks them both from their little world. She lifts up her cookie carefully, showing Yumeko her little seahorse. For the first time all day Kira smiles. It’s so quick they both almost miss it. For the first second Yumeko looked at it, a childish giddiness peaked through before being wiped out for something calmer. 

   Yumeko squealed. Loudly. Unabashedly. “It’s so good! You got the little tail so perfect!” 

   Riri nudged her just as Kira had with Yumeko. Her third flower ornament cookie was done and absolutely was a masterpiece. “Oh wow,” Mary exhaled. She didn’t touch it, afraid she would somehow ruin it. Riri nodded at her, not a smile but an expression of happiness, gratitude. There was a little sound she made that had Mary melting where she sat. 

   “You wanna make another?” Mary asked, even though she already knew the answer. 

   Riri nodded. Mary reached for one of the plain cookies in the center. An ornament, obviously. “Thank you,” quiet, barely perceivable. Mary almost freezes. She pushes her body through it because holy shit. Riri just said something. To her! Oh jeez, she understood why Yumeko had so quickly nearly burst into tears. Which would be the worst thing to do right now. So, as if she wasn’t jumping for joy inside her mind, Mary handed over the cookie like it was nothing. She carefully moved the decorated one where the others sat.

   Mary glanced up, meeting Yumeko’s eyes, understanding clear on her face. Mary casually wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, having forgotten Yumeko had smeared icing over her cheek. “Oh god,” Mary hissed. Yumeko broke out into a fit of giggles, hiding behind her hand. Riri and Kira looked up at them, uncaring, not scared, before going back to what they were doing. Kira’s fifth cookie was a reindeer's face that looked to be getting the outline of a stingray. 

~

   The end of the day came faster than everyone thought it would. Dori was found alive, having stuck about a hundred or so swords through Chad’s snowman. After decorating half of the cookies, leaving some for tomorrow, they spent the evening watching more ocean documentaries after promising Kira and Riri they could build more snowmen tomorrow. They tried giving the girls a cookie for dinner. Both of them didn’t seem very inclined to ruin their works of art, whether they got sugar or not. 

   Yumeko and her were both exhausted. Dinner had gone smoothly after all. It helped that they were keenly aware of what the girls liked to eat. Christmas Eve for Mary's family was normally a feast of home cooked meals. She missed it, but the essence hadn’t left. Not when Runa and Chad bickered like siblings. Or Suki being annoyed by Dori to the point he threatened to gouge out her eye, for real. Thank god it wasn’t loud enough for Riri or Kira to hear. 

   It was wonderful, annoying, frustrating in a way that made you ache. She missed Riri. The way she held her thigh. The way she looked at her. The way her voice softened just for her. She missed what today should have been. She missed watching Kira try to hide her adoration for Yumeko. She even missed Yumeko whispering to Kira across the table and breaking out into a fit of giggles when Kira’s ears turned red, before Kira slapped her arm. 

   And… she did miss Kira. What she was becoming when nobody was watching. When he didn’t have claws in either of them. Kira was a force, hypnotic, terrifying, who did care without explicit words. Kira cared about what was said to her, about her, around her. Mary just had to be more open to allowing her to find her footing, just like she was with Riri. Sure, Kira would always still fuck with her a little bit, but there were pieces of the last few days where Mary took her trying and twisted it on its head. She saw that, grasped that. Mary missed what could have been dearly. She missed every stupid, ridiculous, smart remark that came from Kira’s mouth. 

   They were in Kira’s room because she had a fish tank. No more ocean documentaries, the promise of sleep. The blue light crests over each of them so they’re not stranded in the dark. Kira and Riri were in bed, changed into their adult clothes because no, Runa did not buy everything. A big t-shirt and sweatpants tied around their waists were good enough. They were fast asleep holding one plushie each that Runa had given them.

   (“Why are there so many… holes?” Mary asked. Yumeko inspected hers more closely, fingers running across Bulbasours head where it looked like he had been decapitated and shoddily repaired. 

   “They’re the ones I give to Dori when we’re playing in my room. She’s stabbed them a few times,” Runa says without pause. Mary held the tail of the pokemon Spheal, completely unsure and regretting even asking. “What? They’re fine, calm down. You wanted stuffed animals.”)

   Yumeko and Mary had set up on the floor. They brought every blanket and pillow from each of their rooms. The floor was definitely colder than a bed would be. They didn’t really care, all that really mattered was Kira and Riri not freaking out. They had finally fallen asleep, without tears, without fear. Watching the fishes swim back and forth on the opposite wall.

   “What are we going to do if they don’t turn back? I think in my head… I’ve just been thinking we’ll wake up and it’ll all be fixed,” Mary murmurs.

   “Maybe it will be,” Yumeko says. Her eyes are on a particularly beautiful fish in the tank. It’s blue and orange, fancy with a few long fins and intricate looking designs on them, kind of stripped. “I think we gave them what they needed.”

   Mary swallowed, wishing she had her own plushie to hold. “You think that’s it? I wondered if I caused it.”

   “Maybe, maybe not. Who's to say when the universe plays tricks.” That wasn’t very reassuring, but Mary knew there was no clean cut answer. She couldn’t walk right up to the universe to ask it what the fuck it was doing. “We all got something out of it. So maybe that’s it.”

   Mary glanced at her, watched the ripples of water across her face. “You got something out of it? I would’ve thought you hated today.”

   “I’ve lived through many roller coasters, Mary Davis. Today is far from a day to be hated. The universe is so mysterious, it’s always a coin flip. Always. None of us could have expected today. None of us would have asked for today. But the unexpectedness, the string precisely pulled just for us, to live today as we did…” 

   Mary nodded along, trying to let that settle into the cracks of her heart. Her hand shifted up to her ear where the flower Riri gave her was still. She carefully took it out, setting it down next to them on the floor for safe keeping. At least for now. 

   “We should go to bed. Enough thinking of the universe and it’s bullshit,” Mary says. Yumeko giggles, rolling over, laying her hands underneath her head. “Count poker chips or whatever,” Mary adds, feigning indifference even though care bleeds through.

   “Goodnight, Mary.”

   “Goodnight, Yumeko.”

~

   When Kira woke up and the body in her arms wasn’t Yumeko’s at first she tensed. Then she realized it was Riri so she deflated right back into it, face pressing in between her shoulder blades. She didn’t question anything. It happened more often when they were little. But when things got very bad for one or the other, sometimes they ended up like this. Kira spotted Yumeko on the floor before she had gone back down, mouth open, hair askew snoring with drool dripping down her cheek. Pillows, blankets, and another body—

   Record scratch. 

   Another body? 

   Kira sat up on her elbow, head swimming with an insistent pounding she hadn’t expected. Mary Davis was asleep on her bedroom floor. 

   Kira blinked. Once, twice. Five times. Mary’s body was still there. She looked at her hand, counting her fingers. Five. She wasn’t dreaming. Looking around she found another oddity. There was stuffing all over her bed, with two stuffed animals that looked like they had run straight into a serial killer's knife. 

   Kira carefully pulled her arm out from underneath Riri. Her sister groaned softly. Kira reached for her phone on her nightstand. Christmas Day. She sat back, wracking her memory for what the fuck happened yesterday. There was nothing. As if someone had cleanly cut the memory from her head. She remembered the day before, quite vividly. She had fallen asleep with Yumeko wrapped around her after Mary--

   “Holy shit! Yumeko!” 

   “What? M’ sleepin’ in.”

   Kira watched the moment unfold before her. Riri began to wake up in front of her as Mary religiously shook Yumeko’s body before Kira’s girlfriend's eyes slowly blinked open. As soon as she’s not squinting at the light, Yumeko gasps. She sits up, nearly tripping out of the makeshift pile of blankets and pillows.

   “Kira!” Yumeko lunges over the bed.

   “OOF!” Riri’s eyes fly open, hands grabbing ahold of Yumeko as Yumeko recklessly throws herself across her to hug Kira in a choking hold. 

   “You’re back!”

   “I’m… back?” Kira asks slowly. She gently pushes Yumeko back, helping Riri sit up. Yumeko perches on the edge of the bed, grin blinding before it slowly dwindles. Kira doesn’t understand it, not any second of this. She still hates the look caused on Yumeko’s face somewhat because of her. 

   “You don’t remember?”

   Kira tried. Really, she did. This has never happened before. Sure, she had a hard time recollecting moments from when she was young but this was just yesterday. Her head hurt, not like a hangover, something deeper. Whole. Like a Migraine just about to bloom. 

   “No. Can we start with why Mary’s here?” Kira asks. She spares a second to glare down at the woman on her bedroom floor. Mary doesn’t even try to hide how she feels. It comes off her in waves. Guilt, probably shame as well. 

   “I should… yeah.” Mary starts to stand, careful of not tripping like Yumeko almost had.

   “No, absolutely not. We did not go through yesterday just for you to leave right when they’re back,” Yumeko argues.

   “Yumeko they--”

   “You said you were going to make it better.” Yumeko points a sharp figure at her. Eyes pointed, voice thick. 

   Mary opens and closes her mouth. She looks wearily at Kira and Riri. “I will. They just woke up, they’re confused.”

   “Then help me explain it to them,” Yumeko says. Her voice is strong, no room for Mary to argue. Kira has only heard her like that a fair few times. Even when Yumeko played games it was mostly full of chaotic fun, heighted ecstasy, paired with a sultry tone. Not that. This was demanding, giving Kira herself a run for her money. “You can’t fix it all with one conversation. Help me explain to them yesterday, and then everything after will be what’s needed,” Yumeko softens.

   A few moments of contemplation pass. Kira doesn’t even want to allow it. The only reason she does is because of Yumeko. That and her sister hadn’t stopped staring at Mary like she didn’t know whether to hug her or stand in the corner like a kicked little puppy. 

   “Okay. Truce?” Mary asks, looking between the sisters.

   Kira glances at Riri, who is already looking at her. Kira really wanted to throw both herself and Mary off the top of Saint Dominic's helicopter pad. She thought about it, Mary’s request, before Riri’s eyes narrowed at her. “Fine,” Kira agreed, tone short. 

~

   Kira and Riri hadn’t taken their eyes off the phone. Not once. Not even to look at either of the girls in front of them. Kira definitely had to have hit her head. She might even be dead right now. She swiped, seeing a younger version of herself reflected back at her. She swiped again, revealing a younger version of Riri with a mask too big for her face. They were outside in the snow, gloves deep in the cold ice. 

   Kira was going to throw up. 

   She swiped again, a video began playing automatically. Yumeko was recording. Clear by Mary in frame. Riri was by her side, as a young Kira tried to place rocks on a snowman. It was fast, Kira watched a young version of her slip. Blonde hair whooshing, body smacking right into the snowman she had just been making. Kira felt herself freeze just from watching the motion, and then, the worst part. 

   Mary swooped in, scooped her up by the armpits. There was a second where young Kira was just dangling, feet swinging, lip wobbling with wide eyes that were tearing up faster by the second. 

   Kira turned the phone off and handed it back without another word. 

   What she was feeling should not be articulated. Humiliation, shame. A plethora of things that congealed into an ugly heap. Kira hadn’t known what it felt like to be a kid. She couldn’t remember. She’s glad she can’t remember. 

   “Look! You’re happy here!” Yumeko shows the phone again, beaming. Kira can’t ignore her when Yumeko looks like that. Kira’s eyes forcefully skim over the newest picture. 

   “Why is my cookie a chrysaora fuscescens?” The cookie is far from perfect. Icing smudged together. A jellyfish should never be designed on a cookie by a little kid, Kira thinks with disdain. She ruined the oral arms because she clearly didn’t know how to convey the frills, with the tentacles laid on top. 

   “Because I said you could do whatever you wanted,” Mary says. 

   Right. Because she was a little kid who cried when she fell. Like someone who couldn’t control themself. Like someone who—

   Riri grabbed her arm, carefully. The pressure was so loose, yet weighed heavy on her skin. Kira hummed. As if it were easy. As if the action was as simple as breathing. The hand quickly left. 

   “We look happy,” Riri says. Kira swivels back to the picture. Mary’s in the center of them, she’s watching Riri with quiet care. Her little sister is hard focused, the mask was practically drowning her face but she didn’t mind. Hair loose over her shoulders instead of up in a bun. Yellow icing, petals layered perfectly, the spread between them even. 

   Daffodil, new beginnings and hope. 

   “You’re never showing anyone these,” Kira says, throat tight. Yumeko giggles, nodding her head. Kira doesn’t believe it for a second, not with that mischief in her eyes. 

   “There are some really, really, cute ones, Kira-chan. I just think we could maybe… print them out…”

   Oh, no. Oh god. 

   Yumeko pouts, eyes pleading. Kira knew she was a wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing. She knew that like the back of her hand. Part of her never wanted to acknowledge whatever the hell yesterday was. Kira didn’t remember it, and if there weren’t photos and video proof she would have never believed it. 

  Kira didn’t have a choice but to accept it. A small deep down part of herself knew it was true before having even seen the pictures. Like a negging thought in the back of her mind. 

   Kira slid a hand down her face. Her shoulders curled inward. The pit in her stomach ached all the way to her chest, till her ears burned red. “Fine.” Stressed, defeated, all by a pretty girl. Disgusting. Truly volatile. Kira needed to scrub her brain and every inch of her soul.

~

   A while later in Riri’s bedroom Mary’s girlfriend exited the bathroom. Face bare, flush from the steaming shower, hair down and dry. She didn’t look at Mary. Went straight for her wall, pausing over the mask she had worn yesterday, she picked it from the hook, gently setting it on her desk before picking a different one. Black lace with a hint of a faint design hidden on it if you looked in the right light. 

   Riri sat down next to Mary. Neither of them said anything. She could feel the warmth of Riri’s body radiating next to her. Mary didn’t allow herself to lean into it. That’s not what Riri wanted right now. Her girlfriend's hands twisted in her lap. A nervous fidget she was letting Mary see. Something she was slowly getting better at. 

   “I’m mad at you,” Riri finally says, voice low, cautious. 

   “I know.” Mary’s not mad, she could never be mad. Riri looks at her, green eyes asking that very question before nodding, understanding. 

    “I’ve enjoyed more of my life because of Kira,” Riri says. She looks at her hands, her palms, her fingers. Mary has to force herself not to move and grab one. “I wouldn’t have went for you without her. I-I think it would hurt less if Kira didn’t care about me. We have both done so much for one another.”

   Mary does something unexpected. It felt needed. A gesture. Something weighted. She stood from the bed and kneeled in front of Riri. Catching her eyes, not touching her, not boxing her in either. Just looking at her with all her feelings on full display. 

   “Everything I said was wrong. I was foolishly trying to make it exactly like my family holidays, which is impossible,” Mary pauses, taking a deep breath to steady herself and her thoughts. “I nitpicked Kira, and I said something I don’t forgive myself for. Not just because of what happened yesterday. The second it was out of my mouth I regretted it. I wasn’t thinking. I have the privilege of forgetting how you both grew up. I shouldn’t have, not ever. There isn’t an excuse. There isn’t anything good enough. I was working myself into a hole for no reason. That deeply hurt the both of you and I’m forever sorry.” 

   Riri’s eyes brimmed with tears. Each subtle blink they looked as if they would topple right over. Mary wished to reach up, to cup her face and wipe them before they kissed the ridge of her mask. She wanted so dearly to comfort her, to make it stop. But Mary was the one who caused it. So she had to swallow the lump in her throat and be the big girl she was. Riri meant everything to her. Causing her pain was the last thing she ever wanted, yet she had done it anyway. 

   “You don’t have to forgive this, Riri,” Mary adds. “That’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with being upset. I will never be mad at you for feeling how you feel.”

   “I… I don’t think I forgive you,” Riri murmured. 

   Mary smiled, sorrowful but so completely understanding. She’s so proud of her for saying it. For voicing it even though Riri trembles on each syllable. Riri could have written it down on a piece of paper, or fucking texted it to her and Mary would have been proud. “Thank you for telling me.”

   “I still love you,” Riri adds. Eyes tilting to catch her before they’re looking away. Her face is flushed even redder. 

   “I love you too. Whatever you want, whatever you wish to do today whether it’s with me or not is okay.”

   Riri reached down, Mary quickly accepted the gesture. She squeezed Riri’s hand, gently kissing the back of her hand. Her girlfriend made a cute little noise in the back of her throat. Riri was still upset, yet she still had it in her for her heart to beat for Mary. “I always want you.”

   Mary’s heart melted into a deep puddle. Then she snorts, remembering. Riri looks at her curiously. Mary contemplates it for a few seconds, wondering if the joke would be a step too far. But Riri was asking so deeply with her eyes. As if each word, any thought Mary had meant more. “Do you give flowers to everyone you think kidnapped you?”

   Without missing a beat, “only the cute girls.” 

   Mary laughs, getting a little choked up seeing Riri smile underneath her mask. “Well then, what do you want to do? Christmas Day, everything and anything.”

~

   The real Christmas tree had been lit on fire in the courtyard. Not the one they were playing in the day before, but a different area. Snow melted underneath. Red and orange mixed together on all of their faces. Heat radiating through the burn of cold that nipped at their skin under their winter coats. Mary had been a little apprehensive of her girlfriend wielding a chainsaw. Then she saw Riri with the chainsaw and quickly changed her mind. Emotional whiplash for sure. 

   Chairs were dragged out that probably shouldn’t be outside in the snow but nobody cared. They sat around the pile of the burning Christmas tree. Marshmallows on their pokers, roasting over the flames. Music played softly from Chad's loudspeaker. 

   Mary watched Riri. Hair now up, mask hanging on one ear, biting into her second s’more with a very satisfied expression. Mary’s not sure how she could so easily go from thinking hot and wanting to bite Riri to cute aggression and still wanting to bite her. Maybe just her nose… or her jaw… or…

   “Delete those,” Kira ordered in a firm voice. 

   Suki gasped, it pulled all their attention. He pulled his phone back, shielding it on his chest. Snow dusted the pink tips of his hair that weren’t hidden by his beanie. “But mother! You were so adorable as a child! Everybody would love to see—“

   Kira pulled him down by his collar, sneering, “delete it.”

   “Yup! Right away! Love you, Mother!” Kira shoved him off. Suki stumbled over to his own chair right next to Chad. Suki didn’t reciprocate Chad's comforting shoulder rub. He swatted him away, grumbling at his phone. 

   Kira sighed into her hand, pinching the bridge of her nose. “If anyone besides Yumeko has any… evidence. Delete it. No further discussion.” Kira looked up at all of them. There was a very clear no-nonsense air. Tension behind her words that Mary could only assume. 

   However, Yumeko perching on her chair, pinching her cheek before kissing her really doesn’t help Kira’s case. “But Kira,” Yumeko whined. “Yesterday was so… scary. And those few moments where you were content were the best. We almost lost you!”

   Kira paused, slowly looking at Yumeko and then the rest of the group. “You almost lost us?” She asked, voice twinging in anger. 

   Yumeko carefully slid her hand up and down Kira’s arm. “You ran away.” She poked Kira’s cheek. Kira swatted the action away quickly with knitted brows. “Mary has the picture of when they found you. It’s really cute.”

   Mary tenses where she sits. Then curses, because her marshmallow is on fire. Fully. No marsh or mallow left. Quickly, she smashes it against the ground, rubbing it into the snow to put it out. 

   “Davis,” sharp, poised. Mary slowly looked up, wearily she pointed a finger at herself as if she hadn’t been watching the entire exchange. “Yes, you! You numbskull. Give me your phone.”

   Mary hands Riri her poker. Her feet squelch in the snow as she walks over, handing her unlocked phone to Kira. She didn’t say a word. Mary didn’t have too. 

   Yumeko squeals a second later, encroaching even more in Kira’s space to see the screen. “You have more!” Mary didn’t really have that many. Unless you count the over a dozen she took of them playing outside. Or the roughly twenty she took while they were decorating cookies…

   Kira scrolled, and scrolled till she must’ve reached the photo in question. Mary awkwardly shifted in the snow. She looked at everyone else. The only one really paying attention was Suki. He fiddled with his phone. Turning it off and on again, spinning it with his hands. Mary wondered if he had actually deleted what Kira had asked. 

   Runa was too busy blowing out her marshmallow to care about anything. Mary grimaced after it was tucked between five pieces of chocolate, with two measly pieces of gingerbread. Chad was already stuffing his face, chocolate smeared around his lips, he looked like a little kid who found where the cookie jar was hiding.. Dori was… heating a knife in the fire. 

   “You can… frame this one.” Mary startled, fixating her eyes on Kira. 

   “I’m sending them all to myself!” Yumeko exclaims. 

   Kira looks like a grumpy cat. Mary smiles without being able to stop herself. Kira levels her eyes at her. Even more grumpy cat. The eldest Timurov clenches her jaw, and Mary decides this might be her best chance. Kira was held down by Yumeko, after all. 

   “I… wanted to apologize for how I behaved. More than just what I said.”

   Kira looks at her yet says nothing. 

   “I told Riri this. You don’t have to forgive me. But—“

   “It’s whatever,” Kira cut her off. “If you think you hurt my feelings, you didn’t. Two statements aren’t going to shake me, Davis.”

   “They weren’t— Look,” Mary huffed. Because of course Kira would react like this. She should have seen it a mile away. This was important, though. To all of them. Especially the person her actions and words hurt the most. “I know it hurt you. I know it pissed you off. Just… don’t let it consume you, okay? I was being overly a bitch. That was wrong. Just— give me my phone.”

   Yumeko hands it over. Mary doesn’t fully know what she’s doing till she finds a certain folder. Explaining it felt like an excuse, a flimsy bandaid. But it was important to her that Kira knew the pieces, even though they came out all wrong. 

   “I was… trying to do everything too close to what and how my family did. I expected too much. I controlled too tightly. The tree it— It’s just a tree,” Mary exhales, waving to the burning pile besides them. “When I said I wanted it to be perfect I didn’t mean literally perfect.” Mary shows Kira her phone, past iterations of her family’s Christmas tree. “It can be perfect but it doesn’t have to be. I just wanted it to be from all of us but I didn’t know how to say that. I didn’t— I took… everything you did as purposefully fucking with me the whole break. That wasn’t right. It made me angry so I just kept holding tighter.” 

   Kira’s quiet. Yumeko nudges her after what feels like minutes have passed. Her lips pursed together, before giving Mary a long look up and down. Mary doesn’t take a cautious step back, she stands her ground. 

   “Okay,” Kira says. 

   “Okay?” Mary asks. 

   “Okay,” Kira repeats. Nothing more. Mary takes this in stride, nodding her head. 

   She takes her phone back, walking to her seat next to Riri. Riri holds out a s’more for her. Mary really doesn’t deserve her. She wants to kiss her, doesn’t know if it’s wanted. Not after how she hurt them both. Mary takes it from her hands, eats it slowly. As if this was a kiss from Riri. In a weird roundabout way it was. It gave the same warm feeling in her chest, in her cheeks. Mary thinks she could survive through the coldest weather if Riri was with her.

   Riri must see something on her face. Not literally, of course. Mary was good at hiding her feelings, but some things your lover can just pick out of thin air. “You’re a better person than you think you are,” Riri says. Mary cracks so completely from those words alone. Riri leans in, blocking their mouths with her hand to kiss her. It feels unending after everything. Mary kisses deeply, with need, not for the feeling but to show and display every inch. 

Smack!

   “Jesus!” Mary cursed, holding a hand to the back of her head where a snowball crashed. 

   “Stop sucking my sister's face in front of me,” Kira says, face a clean slate of disgust. 

   “She was blocking our mouths!” Mary yelled, whipping around to glare at the girl. “Stop looking at us.” Mary flipped Kira off. Carefully sliding her hand on Riri’s cheek before kissing her again. 

Smack!

   Riri was flushed, eyes a little wide. Mary pulled back with anger sizzling underneath her skin. Sharp, but oddly sweet. She smiled, shaking the snow from her hair, ignoring the pain from the snowball that just tried to dissect her. 

   “I’m going to go throw snowballs at your sister now, okay?” Mary says, earning a little dazed nod from Riri. She fixes Riri’s mask, running her thumbs over its ridges and fabric. She can’t help leaning in again, kissing her mask-covered nose.  “You’re welcome to join.”

   With that, Mary stood up. She faced Kira who was already standing, packing a new snowball. Mary reached down, balling up a clump and whirled it threw the air. It wasn’t the best packed snowball but it hit Kira right in the chest. Kira gasped, looking up with wild filled eyes. Not rage, exactly, but something else. Something thrilling, something better. 

   Kira hurled the ball of snow. Mary squeaked, jumping and running around the burning pile. The Council members began to screech in a varying order. Snowball after snowball being thrown by Kira as Mary ran around and around, beginning to laugh freefully. 

   “I thought you were, like, perfect at everything?” Mary skidded in the snow, too close to the fire for comfort. She turned with giddiness rushing through her like a drug. 

   “Oh Mary, don’t you know I always have a plan. You feel tired don’t you? Having run around in circles?” Kira smiled. A horrifying and bone chilling sight. The snowball between her hands was packed hard, fingers smearing over the ball. Mary breathed deeply, trying to even her heaving chest. 

   “Fuck,” Mary hissed. 

   Kira lobbed it through the air. Like a terrifying slow motion shot, Mary watched as it crest across the few feet between them. The gasp that came from her was guttural. Pain spluttered in her chest, the snowball crushed from the sheer powerful force. The freeze was death-defying. Mary is absolutely sure she saw god herself, in all her wonderful beautiful glory. Glove covered hands wiped her face, staring from her hair line all the way down to her neck. Mary blinked a thousand times before her vision decided to be stable.

   Kira’s victory came with a wide smirk. A chilling delighted look in her eyes. She screamed power, authority. 

   Just as suddenly a snowball hit her shoulder. Kira crushed, turning with a freak anger before swiftly falling to surprise. “Riri?” Kira dusted the melting snow on her shoulder. A newfound determination as a new player entered the game. “I see. Yumeko, Dori, Suki. You are on my team.”

   Mary grabbed Riri’s wrist, pulling her away from the simmering Kira. “That was awesome!” Mary exclaimed. “You did so good, baby! Just try not to hit their faces.”

   Riri nodded, leaning towards the ground to scoop up more snow. They weaved around the courtyard, hoping not to get hit. 

   “Score!” Dori shouted, coupled by Chad groaning in pain. Mary shivered just at the thought of a snowball from Dori hitting her. 

   The battle was fierce. Mary began shouting orders, which turned into her cursing out a weeping Chad. Riri yanked him up, dusted the snow from him. Fixed his coat collar. Chad trembled, looking deep into her eyes with a rattled conscience. 

   “You are going to go out there, and win this,” Riri said. Chad blinked, wide eyed. “Chad.”

   “I’m going to win this!” Chad cried, or cheered? Riri smoothed down his collar again. When she let go he dashed away, nearly tumbling right over himself. Mary winced as a snowball practically lodged into his ear making him stagger. 

   “Ten points!” Suki shouted. 

   “That’s not how this works,” Mary argued. The poor boy didn’t have a chance to respond. It felt quite vindicating to throw a snowball at Suki of all people.  

   “Mother!” he wailed. 

   “For the honor of Grayskull!” Dori shouts, voice cleanly cutting through the air. Mary double takes. The war cry of a popular cartoon she would have never thought Dori would watch. The snowball she quickly took Mary’s attention away, it shouldn’t even count. It’s so large Mary genuinely fears for her life. 

   Riri wraps her arms around her head, pulling them both down. The snowball heaves through the air, nearly crushing them a foot away. 

   “Dori!” Kira reprimands. “Do not kill my sister!” Yumeko is standing right next to her, a pile of about ten snowballs in her arms. Kira’s eyes settle on them, intent. 

   “Up! Up!” Mary squeals, pulling Riri haphazardly and running away. 

   “You can’t run forever Mary!” Yumeko sings. 

   “Duck!” Runa shouted. Riri and Mary quickly fell down, while everyone was distracted she had created just as many snowballs as Yumeko held. They shot over their heads like bullets, quick and precise. 

   Mary rolled over in the snow, watching each one of them. Riri squeezed her hand as they laid in the battlefield. Mary swallowed thickly, tilting her head to face her girlfriend. “I love you so much,” Mary says. 

   “I love you too,” Riri replies. 

   “What are you two doing! They are closing in on us!” Runa cried out. 

   Mary huffed a laugh. Runa grabbed Mary’s arm, heaving her up from the ground. Riri followed, the tree of them instantly bombarded by snow. “Run!” Mary cried. It wasn’t very heroic of them. They weren’t here to be heroes. “Kick their asses!” Mary ordered. 

   “What do you think we’re doing?” Chad leaped over a snowball. He practically pirouetted through the air, so graceful, so full of hope again. Mary could shed a tear. 

   “There! Yumeko! She’s alone,” Runa said. 

   Yumeko stood prettily in front of them, smiling, swaying side to side with her hands clasped behind her back. Mary narrowed her eyes, no, they’ve played this game before. Slowly, hesitantly, as she heard her heartbeat rushing through her ears she turned to see Kira, Suki, and Dori. 

   “Fuck.” 

~

   A round of hot chocolate, heat packs, and decorating cookies with a side of lunch followed. Yumeko’s entire body was sore. Her hands were shaking. The cold had seeped away but didn’t stop the exertion from taking over. She was trained in martial arts but there was something about exercising through the cold that really choked you. 

   All the cookies were finally decorated, and half eaten. Yumeko is pretty sure Dori and Chad had stumbled off to puke from too much sugar. The cookies may have been Christmas themed, but everyone including Mary had  decided to ignore that. Multiple monster Santa Clause, reindeers that looked more like aliens, coupled with some concerning designs from a few particular members. They were all messy, colors mixed together, lines shaky, smudged in some places. Yumeko had the time of her life. 

  The student council didn’t really give gifts to one another, not anything like a mountain underneath a tree. Quietly, as if they magically appeared, a few items had shown up in her room. Without fanfare. It felt… oddly right. Somehow more emotional and sentimental than a whole extravagant weighted experience could have been. Both options would have been nice. This quiet care however made her remember her parents in a way that ached deeply.

   Christmas wasn’t exactly the same in Japan as it was in Canada. She can vaguely remember her parents going on dates the night before. Her mom dressed up to the point Yumeko viewed her as a princess and her dad a prince. She remembers how they would come home, shaking their coats out with a bucket of chicken from KFC and her favorite strawberry mochi. They’d give her little trinkets they had saved from their trips, coupled with more extravagant stories that made them seem even more audacious. They were brilliant. So very brilliant.

   Yumeko had showered, letting the thoughts soothe into a comforting ache. That was how you dealt with it. Her present matters were pressing, worrying to her. Yumeko wanted to focus on that right now.  She changed in her own dorm before going to Kira’s. 

   Kira was already out of the shower, face fresh, hair mused from blow drying it. Skin slightly damp and warm. Yumeko curled around her in the bed without a second thought. Arms circled her waist, a quiet huff from Kira that was full of fake irritation. Proven by the hand that found its way into her hair. 

   “Mhm, you feel good,” Yumeko murmured, rubbing her face into Kira’s neck. 

   “How are you still cold?” Kira threw the blanket over them, hands glossing over Yumeko’s back. Stuffing from the maimed Spheal and Bulbasaur littered the bed still. Kira had propped Spheal up on her dresser, keeping him Yumeko observed. Cute. 

   “You didn’t say much to Mary about the thing,” Yumeko says.

   “You didn’t either.”

   “I had a whole day with her to already process everything. You on the other hand don’t remember a lick of yesterday.”

   Kira grumbled over her shoulder, ignoring her to instead focus on her phone. Yumeko rolls her eyes at her girlfriend's ability to ignore her feelings. She pulled back, knocking the arms off her and the blanket. “It’s okay to be upset.”

   “I’m not upset.”

   “Kira, you cried—“

   “I didn’t cry!” Kira snapped. Immediately her face flushed, she hid behind her hands, breathing steadily. 

   Yumeko’s heart broke for multiple reasons. She leaned down, careful, lips cresting Kira’s jaw, leaving featherlight kisses behind before her lips could skim her ear. “It’s okay to cry. It doesn’t make you weak. Or bad. It’s just human.” Kira didn’t look at her. Yumeko nipped her jaw, reveling in the small noise she pulled. “It’s okay that she hurt your feelings. And it’s okay that your response was to cry after it happened. You’re allowed to make noise, Kira.” 

   Yumeko could feel the unsteadiness in Kira’s chest. She didn’t look it. Kira was always so very good at keeping her demeanor strong. Unphased, unbroken. Yumeko slid her hand down the center of her chest, feeling her heart pulse erratically underneath. “Do you want to know the worst thing about yesterday?” Yumeko asked, without expecting an answer. “It wasn’t you flinching because of me. It was how you cried. Silently. I’m here to listen to every noise that comes from you. I will hold you right through all of it because I love you.”

   Yumeko pulled back enough to see her face. At least enough to try and make Kira out behind her hands. She didn’t say anything, not anymore. Yumeko could feel each agonizing breath Kira took. She could feel the build up. The knot in her chest. When Kira slowly pulled her hands away, her eyes were red, rimed with tears that were on the cusp of falling down. 

   “I don’t want to remember what it was like when I was little. How I was like when I was little,” Kira spat with more venom. “But… my body remembers. Maybe… I could have ruined things.”

   “You did not,” Yumeko quickly says, as gently as she can. Even though there is a raging burning fire within her. Kira hums loosely, distantly. Her hands squeeze Yumeko’s waist, holding on like she was the only thing keeping her from drowning. “There is nothing you could have done to deserve anything that man did. Do you understand?”

   Kira wouldn’t look at her. Yumeko cupped her face with both hands, waiting patiently for those blue eyes to find her again. Her thumbs worked their way across the apples of her cheeks. Seconds passed, maybe a full minute before Kira was staring back at her. “I had a tantrum. I saw the video. I probably reacted just like that and ruined things.”

   “You were scared,” Yumeko emphasised. “You did not throw a tantrum. Not yesterday. Not when you were a little kid. And if you did have a tantrum, so what? That doesn’t mean what happened was your fault. You ruined nothing, Kira. He ruined everything because he’s a pissy old man.”

   Not a muscle twitched. A second, two, Kira’s lips parted. Three seconds, her lip began to tremble. The quiet tears that Yumeko had been silently wiping away quickened. Five seconds, a choked sound. A deep breath that rattled, ricocheted. Yumeko leaned forward without a word as Kira’s cries began to make noise. She kissed her forehead, the plump of her cheeks. Her jawline, consecutive. Lips curving around skin, teeth skimming, nipping to comfort, to be, to reassure. 

   “I’m so proud of you,” Yumeko whispered. The chisel to a crack that already had a spiderweb of them. Kira shattered in her arms, loudly. Pulling Yumeko closer, squeezing her tightly with trembling fingers. Yumeko whispered reassurances in her ear, kissing and nipping whatever spots she could reach. Yumeko held her through it all. She would hold Kira forever if that is what Kira needed.

~

   Christmas dinner was messy and beautiful. It wasn’t home cooked meals, but that didnt matter. This wasn’t supposed to be like Mary’s family. If she wanted at some point she could invite the others over. But this was its own special new thing. Crafted from each of them. It truly was a creation that never would or could happen with a different grouping of people. 

   The table in the student council longue was littered with a variety of things. Glasses of champagne were poured, each of them already on their second as the night winded down. The snowball fight had left everyone in a particularly tired yet delirious mood. 

   “The inside of your mouth really does feel like the inside of a vagina,” Dori says thoughtfully.

   “Inside thought, babe,” Runa replies, scooping up a heaping of marshmallow covered sweet potatoes.

   Dori looks around confused. “We are inside?”

   “You’re totally right! It does!” Chad's cheek is poked out, his tongue clearly feeling the inside. Runas head falls into her hands with a quiet groan mixed into a teetering of giggles. Her smile is wide, when she pulls back. She gives Chad such a sister “what the fuck is wrong with you” glance. 

   “What the fuck is happening,” Mary voices everyone else’s thoughts. Riri catches her gaze. There is the subtlest shift of her cheek, easier to spot without her mask on as she eats. Mary felt the surge of adoration through her like a whip. She leaned over, hand longsince interlaced with Riri’s, kissing her cheek.

   Kira was ignoring everyone. Yumeko was looking at Dori with a deeply thoughtful expression. Mary watched her open her mouth, pause, shake her head, before smiling to herself. She let out a little giggle, eating. Mary did not want to know whatever the fuck that meant.

   “So, are we all just gonna ignore the absurdity of yesterday?” Dori asks. She’s eating her chicken by stabbing the pieces with her knife and tearing them off with her teeth.

   “Yes,” Kira replies. 

   Dori doesn’t ask anything else again. Enthralled by the dessert set on fire by the chef who quickly left after. Mary could see her pupils widen just by watching the flames dance in front of her. 

   “I am sad you don’t remember building my first snowman with me.” Yumeko pouts, eyes glistening in the light. 

   Kira hums. “We can build more.”

   “I did promise you you could build more today,” Mary murmurs. The glare she receives is enough for her eyes to roll. “Relax, I don’t think anyone wants to go outside right now. It’s fucking freezing.” 

   “Tomorrow,” Kira offers to Yumeko in that particular voice especially curated for her. 

   “My snowman was bigger,” Chad whined. “But then Dori bisected it.”

   “I’m sure you say the first part to all the men and women,” Suki snorts. “Don’t worry, darling, it’s normal to shrink in the cold.”

   “Bro--”

   “Can we not joke about penises at the dinner table like a gaggle of middle schoolers?” Kira asked. Her silverware clanged against her plate. The moment zipped through the air, hot, then just as quickly giggles bounced around the group without touching Riri or Kira. “What? Stop laughing. I’m right.”

   Yumeko lowered her gaze, looking up through her lashes at Kira. Her smile made her seem innocent, she never was. “You’re right. We’re all adults here--”

   Kira raised her hand, covering Yumekos mouth. “You know what, I don’t wanna hear it. I’ve decided whatever it is, is not meant for my ears.” Yumeko giggled behind her hand, making the entire table worse. 

  Riri looks at Mary, concerned. Mary pushed her champagne glass away from herself, picking up her water to take careful sips. The giggles peeter off, quiet conversation between different members. Kira’s hand no longer covered Yumeko's face, instead interlaced with her hand on the table between them. 

   Riri squeezed her hand, gaining her attention. “Thank you,” she says.

   “What? I definitely don’t deserve that,” Mary says.

   Riri shrugs, leaning across the gap to kiss her sweetly. “You got us to have dinner together. So, thank you.”

   Mary hums, eyes still  on plump lips. “You all did that yourselves. But I love you and you are so goddamn sweet.” Mary leans in, to kiss the faint hint of champagne on her lips. It’s sweet, she’s addicting. Mary had to pull away, knowing Riri doesn’t want to makeout in front of the whole council. “Very lovely.” Riri’s eyes could’ve been hearts.

   A phone buzzes through the chatter. They both look at Kira, stomachs dropping. Her face had paled, fingers white around the device thats ringing. “Excuse me.” She leaves them quickly, not even answering Yumeko’s quiet question. 

   “Who was it?” Mary asked for all of them. Yumeko was still watching where Kira’s form retreated.

   “Her mother.”

   The council quieted. Thick tension, bubbling, they all felt the heat like a brand had been pressed into their skin. Sizzling, leaving the area raw with fried nerves. Nobody spoke. Not even to theorize what Kira’s mother could have wanted. Mary squeezes Riri’s hand, just in case she needs her feet to be pulled back to earth.

   They heard Kira’s heels before they saw her. Slow, phone in her limp hand, expression completely soft. Not in a way where she was hiding her feelings. No, this was drastically different. Kira’s feelings were full surface, a wild pair of eyes shifting between all of them before landing heavily on Riri. 

    “Our father…” Mary hears the blood rushing in her ears. The look on Kira’s face doesn’t make sense. Doesn’t cross with his name. She can’t put it together, not with how hard “father” lands. “He’s dead,” Kira says. 

   A beat passes.

   “A Christmas miracle.” Yumeko says. 

   All eyes swivel to her. Disbelief. Kira makes a face, locks eyes with Riri. Kira’s hand comes up to her mouth. Mary’s not sure if she’s going to cry or scream. She had gotten so used to what Kira looked like before crying just yesterday, and this edged right on before the match was flicked.

   Kira laughed. 

   Mary watched the crinkle of Riri’s eyes before she fell too. The council watched unsure, unmoving, as both sisters fell into a fit neither one of them seemed able to leave. Kira was laughing so hard there were tears in her eyes she had to wipe away. Riri slotted her mask back over her face to hide herself.

   “I’m-- He got in a car crash. His car slid on the ice and flipped. He died-- He died in a car crash.” Kira fell into a crouch, face in her hands. “A fucking car crash?”

   “Good riddance?” Dori offered.

   Riri snorted into her hand. Mary rubbed up and down her back, not necessarily knowing what to do. The relief was distinguishable with how vast it reached. After yesterday, after all the emotions today had held. Arkadi Timurov was dead, just like that. A slip on the ice. The big scary boogeyman that haunted all of them. That terrorized two people they all loved dearly was gone.

   “He deserved it. He would hate this more than being murdered slowly or tortured to death,” Riri says. 

   “He would!” Kira agrees. Kira stood, with the help of Yumeko who came to her side. “That… that’s it.” Her eyes still on Riri, still on her sister who nodded with just as much emotion. 

   Knowing Kira and Riri, later when the adrenaline crashes they would confirm it themselves. Whether that was hacking into morgue records or flying out to see his corpse themselves. Fingers tightened around her hand. But the hand that pulled the strings was gone. They were free. As free as they could be from him. Yes, Mary agreed, a Christmas miracle. 

~

   Kira sat at the counter, looking at her phone while eating one of her cookies that looked like a whale shark's head with its mouth open on what was supposed to be a bell. Mary made her presence known as she entered the shared kitchen. Kira looked up, face cleaned from makeup, the dimmed lounge lighting gave her a very soft glow. It was a very rare sight to see her after she took her makeup off.

   “What do you want?” Kira asks. She sets her cookie down on a napkin, along with her phone beside it. As she gets closer Mary can make out the few love bites Yumeko clearly left behind along her jaw. She holds back her retort, even though the smirk is peaking its way through.

   “Here.” Mary carefully slides the package across the counter.

   Kira stares. “What is this?”

   “My Christmas present for you.”

   Kira frowns, not hiding her disdain. “You did this because of yesterday, didn’t you?”

   “No. I’ve had this. I… well I actually made it.”

   “You made me something?”

   “Oh my god, yes. Shut up and just accept it.” 

   Tentatively, Kira skimmed her fingers over it. “Is this anthrax?” 

   “No, what the fuck. I’m going back to bed.” Mary turned without another word. Her footsteps landed a little heavier in her haste.

   In the quiet, when she fully couldn’t hear Mary anymore, Kira picked up the package. It wasn’t heavy per se but definitely had weight to it. She grabbed a knife, cleanly sliding it across to open the slit. Inside it was wrapped with bubble wrap. She paused, staring at the backside of a canvas. 

   Slowly, more delicately, not that she would ever admit that to anyone, Kira cut away the bubblewrap. She didn’t turn it around. On the back of the canvas was a small note left by Mary with her swooping tight cursive. 

Merry Christmas! You both deserve something good in your lives. You deserve this. - Mary Davis

   Kira didn’t want to turn it around. There was a weight in her chest, a recognizable one. Her thumbs ran along the ridge of the canvas. Kira flipped it quickly. Her eyes take in every inch and splash of color before her. Their flawless faces. The shading, the lighting. It came from some gala, Kira knew that. How once everything was all said and done for a heartbeat the council just was. Yumeko was sitting in an ornate chair, Kira perched on her lap, a drink in Kira’s hand. Riri was sitting right beside them, listening to something Kira was saying while Yumeko beamed with stars in her eyes. It was so real.

   Kira flipped it over again. She stared at the words. Each curve of every letter. The exhale that came next was disjointed. Nothing was magically fixed. Kira didn’t know her own feelings half the time but knew the pain in her chest when Mary said those words. She nodded, just for herself. A quiet acknowledgment to tuck away. 

   Arkadi was dead. This stilted image in front of her, it was hope. Something that wasn’t childish any longer. Kira sniffled, because it was quiet. Because she could. Because she was alone and the noose around her convulsing throat had been cut to free her. She thought of her sister. Of what Riri could have now. Kira thought of Yumeko, what she could have now without fear of him ripping it from her bleeding hands before they could take care of him. 

You deserve this.

   Kira turned it back over, giving a long final look at all their faces before she decided to go back to her room with the painting carefully tucked underneath her arm.

Bonus

   The figurine was small, about the size of Kira’s palm. A ballerina in a pirouette. On the bottom, engraved in elegant script, love Riri. Kira closed her eyes tightly, holding the little figurine tightly in her lap. She chuckled, it turned into an awkward wet sound. Across from her, Riri reached to squeeze her hand. They were alone, in the dark, even though they didn’t have to be. The biggest monster was gone. 

   Kira exhaled, opening her eyes. She set aside the gift and handed Riri’s over. No wrapping paper, not a box or even a bag insight. It was an arrow's head. Sharp, intricate, not actually meant to be fired but a decoration. Riri ran her thumb over the piercing point. Just like the one Riri gave her, love Kira is engraved into the metal.

   Abruptly Riri was hugging her. Arms tight, Kira choked in surprise, hugging her back just as strong. “Riri--”

   “He’s gone,” she said, voice shaky, small. Kira curled around her, protective, a shield. “He’s gone.”

   “He is gone, маленький ворон,” Kira confirmed. Riri shook in her arms, tears staining Kira’s neck. Her sniffles were loud, unabashed, and Kira understood. “It’ll be so much better,” Kira promises, hiding her face in Riri’s hair after quickly kissing her head. Her own eyes squeeze shut to hold back tears.