Work Text:
1. twisting nose ring
2. fixing hair
3. foot tapping
4. popping knuckles
the teacher set down his chalk, examining the list he had made on the board once last time before turning to face the class.
"these are habits." he said, looking around at each of them. "we've been in this classroom for twenty minutes, but these are four habits i've already picked up on from some of you."
everyone exchanged looks, maybe trying to figure out who was who.
liam didn't have to guess. he could pinpoint each person listed up there, knew that the girl with the nose ring was sitting right in front of the teachers desk but the boy tapping his foot was in the back corner, headphones in and probably not even really listening.
sitting in the back of the classroom was liam's favorite.
it was the perfect observation point. not only could he see the front of the classroom, he could also see every student. he could watch them all walk in, could see where they would sit, and he could observe throughout the class period.
this was a habit he had begun practicing early on in life, as soon as teachers stopped assigning seats and he was allowed to extract himself from the social aspect of school. he enjoyed being a fly on the wall, so to speak, and the back row of his classrooms was the perfect place to do this.
it wasn't that he didn't like people. he wasn't anti-social. far from it, in fact; he had many friends all of his life. he participated in sports and genuinely liked spending time with large groups.
that was what it all stemmed from. liam was fascinated by human beings. he liked the little things that people did when they thought no one was watching. he had a keen eye for people's ticks, their habits. he noticed the way the girl in the third row kept adjusting her bra strap every five or so minutes. he saw the way the boy in the very front row kept running his fingers through his hair, especially when the teacher explained a new concept that he maybe didn't fully understand.
that's what had led liam to want to study human behavior when he got to university. his choice to pursue a sociology degree had shocked most of the people he knew, who fully expected him to focus on some type of sport or maybe something simple academically, like a math or english.
it didn't really matter to liam. he had a full list of classes to sit at the back of and observe and learn about these things in the process. he had never been a huge fan of schooling, but his first semester at uni was already shaping up to be better than any other year of school he had had in his life.
"you're going to be partnered up this semester." the teacher told them all now, and a soft sigh filled the room. he just smiled, like he had expected this. "you're going to partner up and you're going to spend time outside of the classroom with your partner."
when he didn't continue, the girl with the nose ring raised her hand. "what are we supposed to do?" she asked when his eyes landed on her.
"observe."
it seemed simple enough, but a few people were still looking around in confusion, as if he was speaking a foreign language to them.
"you're going to hang out. go to a party. a movie. study together. whatever you want to do with your free time. all the while, you're going to observe them. take in the beauty that is human behavior." he continued. "and while you're observing, you're going to remember things. you're going to remember the way she twists her hair or the way he sleeps during lectures." he added, pointing to the list on the board.
after that, he pulled out a slip of paper and went around half of the room, tearing off pieces and telling everyone to write down their name. for the other half of the room, he collected the slips inside of an empty fish bowl on his desk and they chose names.
"find your partners and get started. we'll meet again on thursday."
with the dismissal, liam stood and looked down at the name on his paper.
zayn malik
he didn't say anything, waiting until everyone else seemed to have partnered up and cleared out. the last man standing, the boy in the back with the headphones, looked at him expectantly.
"really hoping you're zayn malik, or else someone's ran off with my partner and you're stuck with me." liam said at a lame attempt at being funny.
he had been social, but he had never claimed to be good at it.
zayn smiled, good-natured, and nodded. "nice to meet you. guess we're friends now." he said, pulling out both of his headphones and then extending a hand for liam to shake.
liam smiled in return, accepting the hand. "i'm liam payne. you should probably know that if we're going to be friends." he agreed and zayn laughed lightly.
"good idea, liam payne." he replied, pulling a pen from his bag and taking the slip of paper with his name from liam's hand. he bent over the desk, back to liam, and scrawled out something quickly before folding it up and sticking it in liam's palm once more. "i have a class in about five minutes, but call me later this afternoon and we'll set something up, alright?"
liam just nodded and then zayn was gone, headphones back in, hood up, blocking out the world with material things.
zayn was... interesting. or at least, he was going to be.
liam wasn't sure how it was he had got possibly the hardest partner, but he was guessing maybe the teacher had a secret vendetta against him, even if he didn't know him at all.
he also had a thing for conspiracy theories. too much science fiction growing up, probably.
...
doing exactly as zayn had asked, liam called him later that afternoon and was pleasantly surprised when he was invited over to zayn's dorm almost immediately.
he wasted no time, grabbing his school bag just on the off chance that he'd need something to do other than observe, before making his to the building zayn had given him.
when he got to the room, the door was already open a crack and liam could hear music blasting from somewhere inside. he tapped lightly on the door frame before pushing inward slightly and revealing a room that was a little more crowded then he previously expected.
it wasn't like zayn was having a party or anything. there were only five people in the room, and they were all spread out and looking very chill. the only indicator that there was anything wild going on was the volume of the music, but even that was bearable.
zayn was spread out on his bed, a blonde guy sitting across him with his legs thrown over zayn's. there was a brunette girl at the foot of the bed, a game controller in her hand, and on a couch across the room there were two more boys that seemed to be completely absorbed in each other, mouths attached and appearing to have no intention of resurfacing any time soon.
"liam payne." zayn said upon seeing him, a lazy smile on his face. he said liam's name like he would say 'hello', making it a greeting.
it was the best liam's name had ever sounded.
"so this is the partner, huh?" the brunette girl asked suddenly, pausing her game long enough to look up at liam.
the pair on the couch were now paying attention as well, one of them looking personally offended at being interrupted but the other seemed pleasant enough.
"liam payne, meet niall," zayn said, gesturing to the boy on the bed, "louis and harry are over on the couch, and that down there is dani. do not let her convince you to play mortal combat with her. you won't leave here alive."
liam looked around in a cursory way, even as 'dani' started throwing articles of clothing from the floor onto zayn and, subsequently, niall. "nice to meet you all." he said, because he was raised too politely for his own good.
dani's eyes were on him again and she gave the floor beside her a soft pat. "i always go easy on newbies, if that would make you feel better." she told him, smiling genuinely.
and yes, he was definitely here to observe zayn, but it wouldn't kill him to play one game, right?
...
one game turned to three and then dani was convincing him to walking her back to her room and niall as inviting him back the next night because "never seen anyone take an ass whoopin' so well".
liam had agreed, telling himself it was because he still needed to work with zayn,
but, in all honesty, he just liked the atmosphere. zayn's friends, while a little startling at first, were actually some of the most relaxing people liam had ever been around.
"are you coming back tomorrow?" dani asked when they reached her door.
"have to, don't i? still haven't worked a bit with zayn." he told her, but he was smiling as he said so any malice or spite his voice could have held was lacking.
she smiled back, nodding a little. "i'll try and be less distracting tomorrow." she assured him, then winked and ducked into her room so quickly, liam was almost convinced he had imagined it.
he went back to his room, warm and relaxed and wondering if it were possible to convince these people to keep him around even after they had done what they were tasked to do.
...
the next night turned into a week full of nights, sitting in zayn's room. he played video games with dani, talked philosophy with harry, ignored all of louis' attempts to get him to shotgun a beer or three, and actually spent some time observing zayn.
it was easy to get distracted from the main reason he was there, because for the first time in his life, he felt like the subject, rather than the observer. with some many people, all of whom knew each other very well, he was the oddball. for once, he felt like the fascinating one in a group of people.
three weeks had passed in the blink of an eye and, sitting at the back of their classroom with zayn by his side, liam was startled when the teacher was asking for updates on their progress.
zayn didn't even seem to blink, pulling out his notebook and flipping to a list that appeared to be a few pages long.
liam had been keeping notes, like he was supposed to, but his definitely were not quite so detailed. he blamed the way zayn was so hard to read, never doing the same thing twice.
except that wasn't quite true.
when zayn was tired, he liked to play with niall's hair. when he got high, he would lie across louis and harry's lap and get harry to shoot book quotes at him so he could guess the title and author. when he had been drinking, he would make dani get up and dance with him, even though he claimed to be a terrible dancer.
but these weren't things liam could put on a list. these weren't just habits. they were just part of zayn. all in all, zayn was just relaxed all the time. he didn't have nervous habits, because he never appeared to be nervous.
liam handed in his pathetic attempt at a list and determined that he was going to have to dig deeper for this. he was going to have to figure out how to get zayn outside of his comfort zone to make this work.
he had no idea how he was going to do this, but he knew who to ask.
...
"theme parks!"
it was the first thing out of niall's mouth when liam started explaining his predicament to the group. zayn was momentarily absent, running out to get more beer for them, and liam decided it was time to ask.
"theme parks?" liam repeated, turning the exclamation into a question.
"zayn doesn't do rollercoasters or things like that. he's not into the adrenaline junky type of life." louis explained, seeming to understand niall's train of thought. "but that doesn't seem like a very good idea. he'll probably just refuse to go." he added thoughtfully.
everyone went quiet, trying to think of a solution to liam's problem, and he thought that maybe he loved these people a little bit.
"the carnival is coming up." harry mentioned thoughtful and louis beamed at him.
"you're brilliant, curly."
dani clapped, nodding along. "great! we'll go to the carnival and tell him beforehand that he's going on the ferris wheel, end of. he'll be so nervous the whole night that maybe liam can get something out of him."
liam couldn't help but laugh. "i can't decide if you want to help me or just make zayn really unhappy for a night."
niall was grinning broadly and shrugged a little. "probably a bit of both."
...
the day of the carnival came and liam woke up to three or four texts. two were from louis, a pep talk in message form, as if liam needed to be prepared for this night. the third was niall, promising the night would go off without incident, even if he had to drag zayn there and withhold sex to make it happen (not that liam needed that thought in his head).
the fourth was from dani.
'i know tonight is about you and zayn, but i was wondering if i could steal you for part of the night.'
he text her back first, just a short 'sure but can i ask why' and then he had to get up and get ready for his classes of that day. he couldn't bring himself to leave his phone anywhere but at his side, however.
it felt a little pathetic, but he couldn't care less.
'i could tell you, but i think the surprise of it all is more fun. just don't bring a date ;)'
the reply came while he was in the middle of class and if anyone saw the fifteen different shades of red his face suddenly cycled through, no one commented on it.
...
he was fifteen minutes away from arriving at the designated meeting area when his phone buzzed in his pocket. niall's name was flashing brightly at him and he clicked answer, confused.
"i'm almost there, ni," he started, but was instantly interrupted.
"gotta come to zayn's room. now." he said, his voice thick and rough and not at all like he usually sounded.
liam made an immediate turn, heading back in the opposite direction. "what's wrong?" he asked.
"can't explain now. just get here."
the line went dead and liam found himself running, wanting to get there as quickly as possible.
the door was shut when he arrived, which was his first sign that something wasn't right. he opened the door without knocking and stepped inside. taking in the room, he noted many things, processing them all quickly.
niall was sitting on the bed, head in his hands, with louis next to him, holding onto him. harry was pacing, phone in his hand, and dani was sitting on the couch, fumbling with her phone.
"what's going on?" liam asked finally, looking at dani first. he didn't think he'd be getting the answer out of niall anytime soon.
"zayn's gone." dani told him. unlike niall, she didn't sound worried. in fact, her voice held hints of anger. and looking around again, liam noticed for the first time how angry louis looked as well.
"zayn, answer your damn phone, you prick. i thought we were done with this bullshit."
liam's eyes widened as harry spoke into his phone, using more cuss words in one sitting then liam had heard him use in the entire time of knowing him.
dani stood up as liam opened his mouth to speak again, grabbing his arm to pull him back into the hallway.
"what the hell?" liam asked finally, knowing he sounded as confused as he was.
for the first time in a long time, he literally could not wrap his head around what he was seeing. all of his time spent reading people and observing and he had never been quite so confused by behavior before.
"something you need to know about zayn is that he's a flake." she started explaining. "last year, after harry and louis started coming around and he and niall started acting more like a couple in front of other people, zayn would just start disappearing."
liam stayed silent, trying to wrap his head around this new information.
"he'd just leave, sometimes for days, missing classes and not answering his phone, and then he'd come back and refuse to talk about it or tell anyone what he left for." she continued, sounding tired and frustrated.
"but harry said-"
"harry said he thought we were done, yeah. it's been at least eight months since the last time this happened." she confirmed, looking back at the door like she could see through it to the people inside.
liam leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes and taking a deep, slow breath. he was trying to process, mixing in this new view with his old knowledge of zayn.
once again, he found himself confused and not a bit closer to understanding zayn at all.
"how long does he usually stay gone?" he asked, not opening his eyes or looking at dani.
"last time it was two weeks." she said at the same time someone inside called her name. "are you coming back in?" she asked.
he looked at her then, contemplating his next move. he could walk away now, not deal with any of this and only deal with zayn in class, whenever he decided to reappear.
but then the door opened and harry was looking at them both with startled, large eyes. he didn't speak, just looking expectantly at them, and liam followed dani back inside, taking up her usual spot at the foot of the bed.
he felt like he was a puppy on a doorstep, waiting for his owner to come home and for life to proceed as normal.
funny how just a months with a small group of people could end up feeling like 'normal' to him.
...
it was six weeks into the semester, two weeks since zayn had left, and still no one had heard from him. other than niall, everyone had seemingly gone back to living as normal. harry's room had taken over as their regular meeting place, though hanging out had become a much more somber affair, but otherwise everything fell back into place.
it was like a jigsaw puzzle with a missing piece. the picture was still there, still mostly visible and understandable, but the hole at the center couldn't exactly be ignored.
it was time for their final lists to be presented for the class and liam as alone. the week before, they had been told it would be an oral presentation, both partners at the front of the class, describing each other in all the detail they had come to find.
liam was alone, and he was angry.
three presentations down and he was staring at his half finished list, contemplating zayn malik and how he had ended up with the most ridiculously complicated partner in the class.
and then the door was opening and zayn was stepping into the classroom. he looked as put-together as liam had ever seen him, as if he hadn't been gone for the last two weeks, leaving them all with nothing but confusion and anger and distress to keep them company as they waited and hoped he'd come back.
and liam was pissed. he was boiling over, wanting nothing more than to stand up and punch zayn right in his jaw. he wasn't aggressive, but he needed zayn to feel even a part of what they had all been feeling.
"welcome back, mr. malik. perfect timing, in fact. you and mr. payne can make your presentation now."
it seemed their teacher was just as unforgiving as liam was.
standing, liam went to the front of the room and waited as zayn collected his notebook and joined him. he didn't ask zayn if he wanted to go first, like he would have any other time. he just unfolded his list and started reading.
"zayn's probably the most complicated person i've ever observed. i tend to do that a lot, too. i like to watch people, get a feel on them before i even really know them. but zayn was hard. he's so relaxed usually, there isn't much to note."
he looked at zayn then, noting the contempt in his own voice. from the look on zayn's face, he could hear it too.
"but there were a few things.
"when zayn studies, he turned his music up to a deafening volume. he twirls his headphones around his fingers when he can't actually have them in. he's a great listener, but if you talk to him for too long, he starts to pop his knuckles.
"but the biggest thing about zayn is that he's a runner."
zayn's head snapped up from the bent position it had been in and his eyes narrowed.
"i have no idea what causes it, but sometimes he just runs. maybe it's his way of getting relief."
liam folded the paper up and stuck it in his pocket. "i guess it's a good thing the assignment was to note people's habits and not the reason behind them, because i don't understand a thing about him."
without waiting or letting zayn present, liam left the classroom, letting the door slam behind him for the entire hallway to hear.
...
harry found liam in his room later that night, sitting at his desk and doing homework he had let fall to the wayside in favor of worrying about someone he felt nothing but contempt for now.
it was funny how things worked out that way.
"zayn's pretty beat up about what happened today." harry told him quietly.
liam looked at him, waiting, but that seemed to be all he had to say. "did the send you to get me to come back and act like nothing happened? i guess you would be the obvious choice. all of our philosophy talk, the probably figured you'd get through to me." he was starting to ramble, but he didn't care.
he was still bubbling over with anger and he didn't know how to get it out of his system. he didn't want to feel this way, didn't want to be so upset, didn't want to feel like he hated zayn so much.
"they didn't send me." harry replied, sounded offended. regret joined the feelings swirling around inside of liam. this wasn't harry's fault. "i came because it's not right there without you now."
liam didn't reply to that and he heard the sigh harry released before turning to head back to the door. "you know where to find us. i hope you come back, li."
it took him an hour upon harry leaving to decide he didn't feel right not being there.
the door was open once more when he approached and he walked inside, only to find the same image he had first seen when he stepped through the very same doorway.
dani looked up from the floor and smiled at him, scooting over to make room for him. his control was sitting in front of her, like it had been waiting for him, and he couldn't help but smile a little at the way harry was beaming at him from the couch, all tangled up in louis.
he took a seat, still not looking at zayn, but arms snaked around him from behind, pulling him back slightly as someone buried their face in his neck.
he knew the smell of zayn, even after the time apart, and despite his anger, he leaned back, back hitting the bed where zayn was lying across it on his stomach so he could reach liam.
"i'm sorry," he whispered in liam's ear.
"i'm still mad." liam assured him, and zayn just nodded. "let me go, i have to beat dani once and for all."
he felt zayn smile against his skin, and he knew he'd probably never have all the answers he wanted to have, but he sort of belonged here now. he was wanted here.
he'd figure zayn malik out some other time. right now, he was just going to be glad he was back where they both belonged.