Archive of Our Own

The fate of the Pirineos Center of High Performance, and its athletes, remains uncertain and each passing day is making Sebas feel like he’s crawling out of his skin.

After Zoe handed over the drug vial to the Anti-doping Agency, and various tests were run to see how the drug worked and how to test for it, all the athletes had been re-tested. Almost everyone has been cleared. A few are either still awaiting their results, or have tested positive, and are waiting to be officially sanctioned.  

Sebas rubs his chest with his right hand as he makes his way to Roque’s room after training. Roque’s at physio, the fate of his hand and his standing both at the HPC and with the league still unclear, and every day that passes by without a definitive answer only causes the pressure in Sebas’ chest to increase. 

Sebas hates feeling untethered. He feels jittery on the inside, although he is sure on the outside he appears calm. He has always been able to hide his anxiety for the most part, only those close to him able to pick up on the signs. 

Roque’s room is dark and Sebas pauses to turn on the overhead light. Cristian’s side of the bed sits untouched. After being placed in a medically induced coma, Amara is finally awake, and Cristian has spent the past several days glued to her hospital bedside. 

Amara should be released within the next week or two, and Sebas is keeping his fingers crossed for her speedy recovery. Amaia’s fate, however, at the HPC and in the synchro world, continues to be uncertain — much like Roque and Cris’. 

And not for the first time, Sebas hopes that the only friends he has at the HPC won’t all be expelled due to Olympo’s insidiousness. 

Sebas undresses and climbs into the shower, letting the hot water loosen the tightness in his muscles and chest, as he reaches for the shampoo and starts washing his hair. 

Practice has been strained since the video of him kissing Roque was released. Thankfully, the trailer only aired once and wasn’t released outside of the HPC, but the damage has been done. While the majority of his teammates have chosen to either ignore it, or pretend it doesn’t exist, a small faction have been avoiding him like the plague, which has only exacerbated Sebas’ anxiety. 

Javier, surprisingly, hasn’t brought up the trailer, other than to tell them all to get their heads out of their asses if they plan to win at Worlds. Normally, that would be a relief, but Javier hasn’t been able to look Sebas in the eye since the trailer aired, and Sebas has found Javier’s coldness toward him difficult to process. 

Javier had been the one to recruit him to the HPC, and had personally taken Sebas under his wing. The fact that Javier now can’t stand to look at him, fills Sebas with a deep and ugly shame that he has been trying unsuccessfully to ignore but to no avail. 

Sebas reaches for the soap on autopilot and proceeds to wash away all the dirt and sweat off his skin, wishing that he could just as easily wash away all the fear, uncertainty, and dread he’s been feeling lately. Exhausted, he finishes rinsing off and climbs out of the shower, quickly drying himself, before wrapping the towel around his waist and exiting the bathroom. 

The door opens just as he’s pulling his pants up over his hips, and Sebas glances up to see Roque standing in the doorway. 

“Hey,” Sebas says, his stomach tightening at the pinched expression on Roque’s face. “Is everything okay?”

”Hey, yeah,” Roque says, closing the door behind him. Roque takes three giant steps before wrapping his arms around Sebas and engulfing him in a hug. “Is this okay?” Roque asks, his voice muffled in the crook of Sebas’s neck. The warmth of Roque’s breath against his skin, as well as the vibration of his voice against Sebas’ neck tickles, and Sebas laughs softly before pulling his head back so he can look Roque in the eyes. 

“You never have to ask if it’s okay to hug me,” Sebas replies, trying not to blush, and he’s pretty sure he fails as he feels heat rise up his neck to settle in his cheeks. 

The pinched expression Roque was wearing when he first came in is gone, and in its place is one that Sebas can only describe as pleased and slightly smug. He’s about to say something when Roque cups his jaw and leans in and kisses him. Sebas returns the kiss, opening his mouth to allow Roque’s tongue to tangle with his own, before eventually pulling away. Roque’s moan of protest has Sebas feeling pretty smug himself and he laughs lightly as he gives Roque’s shoulder a squeeze. 

“How was physio?” Sebas asks, eyes scouring Roque’s face.

Roque sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. “Slow. Frustrating. Painful.” 

While Sebas hates hearing those words, he is relieved that Roque isn’t trying to hide or keep things from him anymore. After Roque had collapsed at the gym, and had admitted to taking Olympo’s drug, they had both agreed to be open and honest with one another in the future.

“I’m sorry,” Sebas says and Roque sighs again before taking a seat at the foot of the bed and pulling Sebas down next to him. 

“Me, too.”

”Is there any improvement?” Sebas asks, holding his breath as Roque looks down at his braced hand. 

“I’m still not supposed to move it. That stunt with Charlie put me back a couple more months,” Roque admits. “Pepa’s pissed at me.”

Sebas releases the breath he’s been holding. “Do they know yet if you might eventually be able to play?”

”It’s still too soon to tell. The swelling has finally gone down enough that Dr. Murrilas wants to put a cast on it so I don’t risk injuring it any further and it can heal properly. At least I’m starting to feel pain again...”

”That’s good news, right?” Sebas asks. 

“Yeah, I’m just mad at myself. If I had listened to Pepa from the beginning I wouldn’t be in this situation,” Roque mutters angrily. 

“Roque, look at me,” Sebas says, waiting patiently for Roque’s brown eyes to meet his own. Only then does he continue. “Beating yourself up thinking about all the things you should or shouldn’t have done isn’t going to get you anywhere. Whatever happens, we’ll find a way to deal with it,” Sebas says, sounding way more convincing than he feels. “Did Pepa say anything else?”

”She wants me to come in a couple of times a day until the cast is put on to try and further reduce the swelling. I also gained a couple of pounds so they’re going to re-adjust my diet and calorie intake again and modify my training program to include more cardio.”

”I’m glad Pepa and Dr. Murillas came back,” Sebas says after a beat and Roque nods silently in agreement. 

“How was practice?” Roque asks, changing the subject.

”Fine. Javier is pushing us all and we’re exhausted.” Sebas leans into Roque and the older man places a kiss on his temple. 

“What do you say we grab some food and then just come back here and watch a movie and go to bed early?”

”I think that’s the smartest thing you’ve said all day,” Sebas jokes as he gets up to put on a shirt and shoes before following Roque out the door.

***

Roque wakes up early the next morning to go running. He tries to get Sebas to join him, but the thought of getting up out of the warm bed to go running outside in the blistering cold sounds about as appealing to Sebas as sitting down with Charlie for afternoon tea. Sebas declines, but not before promising to make it up to Roque later, much to Roque’s delight. 

He’s still asleep when Roque comes back. Sebas is never late to practice, but lately he’s been finding it hard to stay motivated. If he’s being honest with himself, most days he feels like he’s moving through molasses, even simple tasks feeling herculean in nature.

If Sebas could, he would just stay in bed all day, but unfortunately he can’t. He reluctantly gets dressed and heads outside to the rugby field, but not before promising Roque that everything is fine.

Practice is brutal and he gets yelled at by Javier more than once for not paying attention. Javier finally cuts practice short, telling everyone that if they show up to practice tomorrow, and play like they did today, he’ll hang himself. Frustrated, Sebas grabs his water bottle and duffle and storms off the field only to be stopped by Lobo.

”Hey, everything okay?”

”Yeah. Why?” Sebas asks defensively. 

“Woah,” Lobo says, holding his hands up by his side. “I’m not trying to get on your bad side, man.”

Sebas sighs and runs his hands roughly through his sweat-soaked hair. “Sorry,” he mutters.

”Is everything okay with Roque? Any news about his hand?” Lobo asks awkwardly.

”You could ask him yourself,” Sebas says, watching as Lobo lowers his eyes to the ground. “He’s your Captain and your teammate. Who got injured by another teammate on purpose. The least you guys could do is check on him and see how he is,” Sebas says angrily. 

Sebas doesn’t mean to snap but he’s just so tired of everyone treating Roque like crap. Roque doesn’t deserve any of the shit that's happened to him and the injustice of the situation makes Sebas livid if he thinks about it too much. Sebas registers the shock on Lobo’s face, and while a part of him feels bad for lashing out at Lobo, a small part of him is glad he did. 

“Sebas, I’m not avoiding Roque because of the picture with Diego, or the trailer. I just don’t know what to say to him,” Lobo admits. 

“Then how about you start with ‘hi, how’s the hand?’ and go from there?” Sebas snaps before hitching his equipment bag higher on his shoulder and storming off. 

Sebas forgoes the showers and heads to the gym instead. He lies back on one of the empty weight benches and does some lifting. Where earlier, during practice, his muscles felt like mush, now anger is coursing through his veins and he finds himself lifting with a renewed sense of vigor. Sebas isn’t sure how many reps he’s completed, having lost count a while ago, but his muscles are screaming in protest and his arms are starting to shake with the effort of holding the bar up. 

“You’re going to be sore tomorrow if you keep up this pace,” Renata says calmly.

He doesn’t mean to but Sebas finds himself scowling at Renata’s words. Reluctantly, he places the bar back on the rack and sits up. 

“Hey, I’m not trying to be all up in your business, but I don’t think Roque or your coach will be happy if you can’t move at all tomorrow.”

”Sorry, I don’t mean to be a dick,” Sebas says as he wipes the sweat off his face with a towel. 

“Tough day?” Renata asks and Sebas can’t prevent the snort of derision he lets out. “How’s Roque doing?” Renata asks instead, trying to change the subject, and Sebas pauses before responding. 

“It’s been hard but he’s hanging in there. You should ask him yourself when you see him,” Sebas says, his voice lacking any of the anger he had directed at Lobo earlier when he had asked him the same thing. 

“I will,” Renata promises, smiling softly before walking away. 

***

Sebas takes a steam to try and loosen up his muscles which are definitely starting to tighten up after over exerting himself in the gym. Thankfully, the sauna is empty and Sebas closes his eyes and tries to relax. The whole day has been shit, and all he wants to do is take a nice hot shower, crawl under the covers, and take a nap, hopefully with Roque in his arms. 

A blast of cool air hits him when the door opens, and his eyes snap open to see Lobo walk in and close the door behind him. 

Lobo locks eyes with him before sitting beside him on the bench. “Look, Sebas, you’re right. We’ve been avoiding Roque and it’s shitty. I spoke with some of the other players and we’re going to try and change that. I just wanted to let you know,” Lobo says before trailing off. 

“Good.” Sebas finds himself saying. He debates saying more but he’s tired and instead he gathers his things and gets up to leave. “He’d like that,” Sebas says simply, referring to Roque, before exiting the sauna room and shutting the door behind him. 

***

Roque's room is empty, and Sebas forces himself to shower and change into clean clothes. Sebas feels a headache coming on and drops face down onto the bed. He groans loudly into the pillow as his arms and shoulders scream in protest at the sudden motion. 

“You okay?” Roque asks from the direction of the doorway and Sebas practically leaps off the bed in surprise. 

“Shit,” Sebas shouts, jolting upright and placing a hand on his chest. 

“Sorry!” Roque says, his face alternating between concern and amusement. Roque’s face finally settles on ‘concerned’ as he crosses the room and sits on the edge of the bed, placing his good hand on Sebas’ shoulder. 

“I didn’t hear you come in,” Sebas admits sheepishly, lying on his back and staring up at Roque. 

Roque’s face relaxes into a more neutral expression but Sebas doesn’t miss the concern still reflected in his eyes. 

“I’m fine. Practice was brutal. Javier was being even more of a tyrant than usual and I overdid it with the weights and now everything hurts,” Sebas admits as he latches onto Roque’s good hand and pulls him down on top of him. Roque’s weight on his chest is like a healing salve, and Sebas can feel some of the tension he’s been holding on to all day start to melt away. 

Roque shifts, taking most of his weight off of Sebas and curls up along his side, their foreheads lightly touching as they face one another. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Roque asks and Sebas shakes his head before Roque even finishes speaking. 

“No,” Sebas says, leaving no room for argument. Sebas clocks the look of disapproval that flashes across Roque’s face, but he presses on before Roque can protest. “It’s been a long day, my head hurts, and I just want to lie here with you and maybe take a nap.”

Roque sighs softly and bites his lip. “Okay, a short nap, and then we’re going to the dining hall to have dinner. I'm pretty sure you missed breakfast this morning and you need to keep your energy up if Javier is going all ‘scorched earth’ on you guys every practice,” Roque insists. 

Sebas isn’t really hungry, but he knows Roque won’t let it go, so he agrees and curls himself around Roque’s body, burrowing his face in the crook of Roque’s neck. 

He falls asleep within minutes.

***

Sebas is roused by a very persistent Roque after what feels like only minutes later. However, a glance at Roque’s alarm clock shows that hours have passed since Sebas fell asleep. 

Sebas groans in protest and tries to burrow his face back into Roque’s neck only to find himself flipped onto his back, Roque hovering above him on braced elbows. 

“Food,” Roque insists, alert eyes locking with Sebas’ sleepy ones. 

“Sleep,” Sebas implores.

”Later. Seriously, did you eat at all today?” Roque demands and Sebas has to rack his brain. 

“I had a power bar on the way to practice,” he admits. 

“That can’t be all you ate all day?” Roque asks disapprovingly.

”I wasn’t hungry,” Sebas says stubbornly. Sebas watches in silence as Roque sits up, straddling his lower legs. Sebas sits up so they’re facing one another. They’re both silent for a moment and it’s Roque who breaks the silence first. 

“Is everything okay with you? You’re not eating… and you’re sleeping more than usual…”

”I’m fine, Roque. Everything’s fine,” Sebas insists, and even he can hear the defensiveness in his voice. 

“Would you tell me if it wasn’t?” Roque asks quietly. 

“I…Yes,” Sebas says, unable to keep the frustration out of his voice. Sebas can feel the heat of Roque’s scrutinizing stare and he forces himself to look up and meet Roque’s searching gaze. 

“Sebas…”

Sebas hangs his head and closes his eyes. He takes a few deep breaths before opening his eyes and raising his head. “I’ve just been tired. Practice hasn’t been great, Javier will barely look at me, and there’s just so much uncertainty about the fate of everyone here…and it’s a lot… I think it’s just starting to get to me,” Sebas admits reluctantly. 

“You know you can talk to me about all of this,” Roque says and Sebas is aware of how hard Roque is trying to keep his expression neutral. 

“I know. It’s just been a hard week. I’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry about me.” Sebas reaches up and cradles Roque’s face in his hands and kisses him. Roque sighs into the kiss and tangles his fingers in Sebas’ hair, massaging his scalp, and Sebas moans into the kiss. “Let’s go eat,” Sebas says when they finally break apart. 

Sebas can tell that Roque still isn’t a hundred percent convinced, but he gets up, and Sebas takes his hand and leads him out the door and in the direction of the dining hall. 

***

Sebas is trying to force some food down, even though everything tastes like sawdust, when a clear voice breaks through the chatter surrounding him and Roque. 

“Miss me, bitches?”

Sebas’ eyes spring up to find Zoe headed towards him and Roque, Renata following close behind, and his mouth drops open in surprise. “Really?!” Sebas asks, a smile stretching across his face, as he stands to give Zoe a bone crushing hug. 

“First you try to crush me, then you try and poison me, and now you’re trying to smother me?” Zoe teases and Sebas huffs out a laugh before letting her go. 

Zoe sits next to him, while Renata takes a seat across from them. Roque greets Zoe warmly and leans over Sebas to give her a hug before leaning back in his seat. 

“So does this mean you’re officially back?” Sebas asks, unable to keep the excitement out of his voice. 

“Oh, she’s back, baby,” Renata says proudly, reaching across the table to squeeze Zoe's hand. 

“Yup. After testing me multiple times, including retesting the blood they first drew when Amaia called them, the Anti-Doping Agency ruled I was clean and won on my own merits. The RFEA agreed with their decision. They also looked into my expulsion from the HPC, and decided it was pure bullshit on Olympo and Hugo's part, and reinstated me,” Zoe says proudly.

“That’s amazing,” Roque tells her, his fingers searching for Sebas’ under the table. Sebas squeezes them, and leans back slightly, resting some of his weight against Roque. 

“I’m starving. We’re going to get some food. We’ll be back,” Zoe announces brightly before sauntering off with Renata in tow. 

Sebas can’t seem to stop smiling and Roque leans toward him, his voice lowered. 

“It’s nice to see you so happy,” Roque says, nudging his shoulder against Sebas’. 

“I’m glad she’s back. Her expulsion was bullshit,” Sebas says and Roque nods in agreement. 

Zoe and Renata return with trays laden with food and they chat and catch up, and for the first time in a long time, things start to feel normal again. 

***

There’s a lightness in Sebas’ step in what feels like the first time in forever when they get back to Roque’s room. 

Sebas heads to the bathroom, and makes quick work of washing his face and brushing his teeth, before entering the bedroom and stripping down to his underwear. 

Roque gives Sebas a quick kiss before entering the bathroom and closing the door behind him. He rejoins Sebas after a few minutes and crawls on to the bed, cradled between Sebas’ thighs, so they’re lying chest to chest. 

“Hi,” Sebas says, voice a little breathless, and Roque smiles at his giddiness.

”Hi,” Roque says simply, before leaning down and kissing Sebas. 

Sebas spreads his thighs, and Roque settles further against him, and deepens the kiss. 

Their tongues twine and duel, each vying for dominance as they rub against one another and Sebas moans before breaking apart to catch his breath. Roque’s face is flushed, eyes darkened with lust, and Sebas loves how he can make Roque, who is usually so calm and controlled, fall apart. 

“Do you want to?” Roque asks while grinding against him, their erections rubbing against one another through their underwear. 

“Fuck, yes,” Sebas says as he arches beneath Roque and hooks his leg around Roque’s hip. 

Roque chuckles and has to pry Sebas off of him so he can reach for the lube and condoms he keeps on the shelf above his bed. Roque holds up the condom between them and Sebas bites his lip before answering. 

“I would love to this time but I’m not sure my arms can handle it and I want to be able to see you.”

Roque swallows thickly, Adam’s apple bobbing, as he registers what Sebas just said. 

“How many reps did you do?” Roque asks as he stands up to pull off his underwear. 

“More than I should have. I was frustrated and needed to burn off some energy,” Sebas admits sheepishly. Sebas reaches down to pull off his own underwear before flinging them over Roque’s shoulder.

“Well next time, instead of taking your frustration out on the weights, how about you come find me and I will happily help you burn off some energy?” Roque suggests as he re-joins Sebas and starts to lube up his fingers. 

“I will definitely keep that in mind,” Sebas grits out through clenched teeth as Roque reaches down and slowly inserts a finger inside of him. ”Fuck…” Sebas says as he wills himself to relax. As soon as he does, Roque starts thrusting his finger inside of him, making sure he is loose enough before adding a second one. It feels good even before Roque twists his hand and finds Sebas’ prostrate. 

Sebas closes his eyes, arching off the bed at the sensations Roque is drawing out of him. Sebas can’t prevent the whine that escapes him when Roque withdraws his fingers. Roque laughs as he tells him to be patient and Sebas watches hungrily, through hooded eyes, as Roque tears open the condom wrapper. Sebas impatiently reaches for the condom and quickly slides it onto Roque’s length, giving his cock a good squeeze before releasing him, and spreading his legs further apart to give Roque better access. Sebas cries out softly, his body trembling beneath Roque’s as he slowly and smoothly thrusts to the hilt inside of Sebas before pausing so Sebas can catch his breath. 

Sebas closes his eyes, concentrating on the sensation of Roque filling him up, and it’s so good it almost makes him want to cry. He can feel his body relax as he gets used to Roque’s size, and only then does Roque move inside of him in strong, sure strokes. 

They breathe into one another’s mouths, sometimes kissing, other times just clinging to one another, as they move in sync. Sebas shifts beneath Roque, opening himself up further, and Roque increases his pace, reaching between them with his good hand to stroke Sebas’ cock in time with his thrusts. 

They pant and groan, the sweat coating their bodies allowing them to to move and slide against one another. Roque’s length is bumping against Sebas’ prostrate and Sebas lets out a strangled cry as he comes beneath Roque, coating them both with his need. Roque follows him seconds later, groaning loudly in Sebas’ ear, trembling above him before finally stilling. 

They both try to catch their breaths, chests flushed and heaving, their faces red with exertion. Roque eventually pulls out, tying off the condom and tossing it into the trash can. Roque rolls onto his back, taking Sebas with him so Sebas is now lying across his chest, both of them choosing to ignore the sticky mess between them. 

“Shower?” Roque reluctantly asks once they catch their breath, and Sebas laughs at his tone. 

“Yes, shower,” Sebas says, trying to sit up only for Roque to pull him back down onto his chest, tightening his hold when Sebas tries to wiggle away. ”Roque,” Sebas chuckles, still trying to get out of Roque’s hold.

”Stay, showers are evil,” Roque begs but he does loosen his hold so Sebas can sit up. 

“If you’re good, maybe I’ll help wash you,” Sebas teases.

Roque practically vaults up from the bed and Sebas laughs as he follows him to the bathroom. 

Sebas watches as Roque carefully removes the brace protecting his hand. “Did Pepa say when you’re getting your cast put on?” Sebas asks as he turns on the shower and adjusts the temperature. 

“Tomorrow. They want to try and immobilize my hand as much as possible for the next two to three weeks so it'll heal faster and properly. Then, once it’s off, I’ll be back in the brace.”

They step into the shower and Sebas reaches for the shampoo bottle and pours some in his palm before reaching up and starting to shampoo Roque’s hair. Roque closes his eyes at the sensation and they kiss and proceed to wash one another, as much as Roque can with his non-dominant hand, before turning off the shower, drying off, and crawling back into bed. 

It’s the first good sleep Sebas has had in weeks. 

***

When Sebas’ alarm goes off in the morning, Roque is already gone. Usually Sebas wakes up with Roque, unable to stay asleep if Roque has to wake up before him for any reason. Sebas finds the empty spot next to him a little disconcerting, not having heard Roque wake up at all. 

Sebas gets dressed and heads down for breakfast before practice. He glances down at his phone to check the time and sees an unread text from Roque. 

Went for a run before my doctor’s appointment. See you later. Xoxo

Sebas can’t help the goofy smile that breaks out across his face as he reaches for a tray and pockets his phone. 

“Someone seems happy,” Zoe says as she lines up behind him and Sebas startles a little at her sudden appearance. “Roque?” Zoe whispers teasingly in his ear and Sebas can’t stop the blush that spreads across his face at her words. 

“Shut up,” he mumbles and Zoe laughs gleefully as she reaches over him for some cereal. 

"I'm happy for you,” Zoe says, nudging him lightly with her shoulder. 

“What about you and Renata? Is something happening there?” Sebas asks, his turn to tease, and he raises an eyebrow when Zoe flushes behind him. 

“Yes, and if you’re nice, maybe I’ll tell you about it later,” Zoe says, grabbing a glass of orange juice and placing it on her tray.

”I’ll hold you to that,” Sebas says, reaching for a smoothie instead. 

They grab their trays and Zoe leads them to a table where Renata is already sitting and devouring her breakfast. Renata asks where Roque is and Sebas tells her about his doctor's appointment. Renata asks a few more questions about Roque’s prognosis, and Sebas tries to answer as best he can, but he doesn’t know much. 

Zoe reaches over at one point and gives his hand a quick squeeze, promising him that everything will work out. 

He desperately hopes she’s right.

***

Practice for the most part is uneventful and Sebas is relieved to get through it mostly unscathed. 

That relief is short-lived, however, when Javier asks him to stay behind after dismissing everyone else. Sebas’ stomach clenches as Javier motions him over and Sebas heads towards him feeling like he’s about to face a firing squad. “Help me put away some of this equipment,” Javier says and they work methodically side by side in silence. It’s only when they put away the last piece of equipment, that Javier speaks.

“How’s Roque doing?” Javier asks awkwardly and Sebas is surprised at the level of anger he suddenly feels at the question.

“Shouldn’t you be asking him that?” Sebas demands, trying to keep the bite out of his voice. He knows he failed when he sees the look of surprise flash across Javier’s face. 

"I'm asking you,” Javier says, his tone defiant, and Sebas has to close his eyes and inhale before responding. 

“I’m not sure. He’s getting a cast put on today now that the swelling has decreased enough.”

Javier nods and chews on his bottom lip. 

“Have you heard anything from the Anti-doping Agency or the league?” Sebas asks hesitantly. Every second Javier is silent makes Sebas feel like he’s going to jump out of his skin. 

“No,” Javier says after what feels like ages. “You know he wouldn’t be in this position if he hadn’t taken that stupid drug Olympo was handing out to people left and right,” Javier barks and Sebas finds himself bristling at his words. 

“He wouldn’t be in this position if Charlie wasn’t a homophobic asshole. And for the record, Roque didn’t take the drug to dope. He took it because he was scared his career was over and Hugo told him it would help him heal faster!” Sebas shouts. Sebas has never yelled at Javier before, never yelled at any of his coaches, and he’s just as shocked as Javier. 

Sebas is expecting Javier to reem into him and he braces himself for the backlash. 

“Sebas, sit,” Javier commands instead. Javier's voice is surprisingly even, and Sebas stares blankly at him for several seconds, before his words finally register. ”Sit,” Javier says again, placing a hand on Sebas’ shoulder so he sits on the bench just behind him. Javier sits beside him, collecting his thoughts, and Sebas starts nervously playing with his hands, as the silence presses in all around him. 

“Did you know about the drug?” Javier finally asks, searching Sebas’ face for an answer. 

“No. If I had known, I would have stopped him,” Sebas says with such conviction that Javier can only nod. 

“I’m glad he has you in his corner,” Javier tells him, albeit reluctantly.

“He should have his whole team by his side. He’s our captain. He’s always had our backs and we should have his,” Sebas says, pointedly. 

Javier rubs his face with both hands before speaking. “Look, kid. If I could go back and change things, I would. Things never should have gotten this fucked up,” Javier admits. 

“What’s happening with Charlie?” Sebas asks, changing the subject. 

“I don’t know. The league is looking into the claims and interviewing everyone who was in the gym that day. They’re also requesting the camera footage from the documentary crew that were filming the day Roque got hurt in addition to the security footage from the gym....” Javier says before trailing off. 

“Do you think they’ll let him come back?” Sebas asks, and he hates how nervous he sounds. 

Javier stares at him and his expression softens. “I don’t know. The cameras in the gym don’t have audio, so it’s Roque’s word against Charlie’s -”

”Charlie admitted to doing it on purpose. There were witnesses,” Sebas insists, frustration seeping into his voice. 

“Sebas, I wish I could tell you what you want to hear, but I can’t,” Javier says, squeezing Sebas’ shoulder before continuing. “But, if Charlie is allowed back, I don’t know how many players are going to be comfortable playing alongside a teammate who purposely tried to end another teammate’s career…”

Sebas nods, eyes glued to the ground. 

“For the record, I don’t like dirty players. And I don’t like athletes who don’t possess any sportsmanship. So, even if Charlie does come back, I don’t see him being on my starting lineup any time soon,” Javier admits, gauging Sebas’ reaction. 

Sebas’ eyes widen at Javier’s words and he can only stare at him in shock. 

“Keep your head down, play hard, try not to get too distracted by what you can’t control, and hopefully things will work out. You’re a hard worker and I can see you on the starting lineup at Worlds if you continue to apply yourself,” Javier says as he stands up. “Oh, and tell Roque to come see me when he has a chance,” Javier says over his shoulder as he walks away.

*** 

Sebas forgoes the gym, still sore from yesterday, and heads to Roque’s room. It’s empty and Sebas heads to the bathroom to take a shower when his phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out, expecting it to be Roque, but instead he sees it’s a call from his mother. 

She never calls at this time and he quickly answers, leaving the bathroom door ajar. “Mom, is everything okay?” he asks. “Mom,” Sebas says again when the only sound greeting him is dead air. 

“Sebas, is it true?” his mother asks nervously and Sebas frowns as he tries to understand what his mother is referring to. 

“Is what true?” he asks warily. Sebas hears his mother sigh shakily and a feeling of dread settles in his belly. 

“Is it true there’s a video of you kissing a teammate on the field?” his mother demands, and the dread that Sebas is feeling only intensifies as a wave of heat washes over his body. Sebas feels like he’s on fire and he starts to panic, even as he tries to keep his voice steady. 

“Where did you hear that?” he finally manages to ask. 

“Does it matter?” his mother asks, voice agitated. “Is it true, Sebas?”

Sebas closes his eyes as his body breaks out in a cold sweat. He tries to get his breathing under control before answering. “Yes,” he grits out between clenched teeth. “Who told you?” he asks again. 

“I don’t know, some man called! He didn’t leave his name. Your father spoke with him,” his mother responds and Sebas feels like he’s going to vomit any second.

”I thought we were done with all of this,” his mother cries and Sebas clenches the sink to keep himself upright. “Didn’t you learn anything from the last time?! Did you forget all the hell everyone put you through? Your father had to leave a good job, and we had to move because of what people we saying–”

”Mom,” Sebas implores but she only speaks over him. 

“Your father can’t deal with this again. I can’t deal with this again. I think…” 

“What?” Sebas whispers as he hangs his head and closes his eyes, still clinging to the sink for dear life. 

“I think, maybe, it’s best if you give your father some space. I think maybe you shouldn't come home for Christmas this year,” his mother says, her voice wavering. “I’m sorry, Sebas. I just think it’s for the best.”

Sebas stops listening as he tries to disassociate. Numbly, he ends the call, even though his mother is still speaking. His phone drops into the sink, his hands trembling too hard to place it on the vanity. Sebas leaves it there as he feels the pressure in his chest building.

"Fuck," he says out loud and he tries so hard to keep his breathing under control but he can’t and a sob escapes him and then another. 

Sebas feels like he can’t breathe, and he can hear his heart pounding in his ears. The loss of control has him in full panic mode. He chokes and clutches at his chest. Sebas starts to feel dizzy and his vision blackens at the edges and he stumbles back and falls, his back slamming into the wall behind him. 

Each breath is excruciating and he’s terrified he’s going to die from lack of oxygen right here on the bathroom floor and Roque’s going to come back from his appointment to find him dead. And while, on some level, he knows it’s irrational, the logical part of his brain feels like it’s detached, watching him freak out from outside his body. 

“Sebas? Shit! What’s wrong?!”

Sebas opens his eyes at the sound of his name. He expects to see Roque but it’s Cristian who is kneeling before him. Sebas tries to speak but all he can do is sputter and gasp for air. 

Sebas is only vaguely aware of Cristian reaching for his phone, even as he tries to get Sebas to calm down. 

Sebas can only close his eyes and try not to pass out. 

After what feels like hours, but is most probably just minutes, Sebas hears his voice being called out again and when he opens his eyes, it’s Roque’s worried ones that stare back at him. Sebas is aware of Roque’s lips moving but the pounding in his ears is too loud to make anything out. 

Cris hands Roque his phone and Roque quickly scans whatever is on it before cupping Sebas’ face in his hands. “Sebastian. Look at me. Can you hear me? You’re going to be okay.”

Sebas flinches at the cold washcloth Cris puts on his face but the cold seems to help and he slowly nods as Roque’s words finally penetrate the fog and terror surrounding him. 

“Breath with me, okay?” Roque pleads and Sebas nods shakily. Roque takes a slow, deep breath, and Sebas tries to follow his lead, first unsuccessfully, and then after a minute or two with more success. 

“Good, you’re doing so good,” Roque says and Sebas can feel his panic slowly starting to recede. “Can you tell me five things you see around you?”

The question is so out of left-field that Sebas freezes and for one brief second the panic, dread, and dizziness all stop as he tries to process Roque's question.

A second later his anxiety floods back, but not as strong as before. “What?” Sebas chokes out. 

"List five things you can see,” Roque whispers as he cups Sebas’ face between his hands and rests his forehead against Sebas’ own. 

Sebas inhales shakily before speaking. “You, Cris, the sink, the floor, and the vanity,” he manages to spit out. 

“Good, but this time open your eyes for me, okay?” Roque pleads and Sebas startles not having realized he had closed them. 

Sebas watches as Roque peers down at Cris’ phone again. 

“Now, tell me four things you can touch,” Roque says and Sebas draws in another breath before shakily releasing it. 

“You…my pants, the floor…’ he says before trailing off. 

“What else? One more,” Roque implores and Sebas sighs. He places his hand on Roque’s chest, feeling his heart beating strongly beneath his palm. “Your heart beating,” he says and Roque huffs out a breath before kissing his temple. 

“Good. You’re doing great,” Roque says softly. Roque glances down at the phone Cris is still holding up. “Three things you can hear,” he says quietly. 

Sebas can feel his breathing start to even out and he sighs in relief. "My heart racing, my head pounding, and your breathing,” Sebas says, trying to make a joke. 

“Sebas.”

“I’m feeling better. It’s receding,” Sebas promises, squeezing Roque’s hand. 

“Good. Name two things you can smell.” 

“Cris’ cologne, and the plaster from your cast,” Sebas responds. 

“It’s fiberglass,” Roque informs him. “Last one. Name one thing you can taste.” 

Sebas’ breathing is almost back to normal, the tension and terror finally releasing him from its grip, and Sebas stares at Roque through exhausted eyes for a moment before responding.

"You,” he says as he leans forward and places a kiss on Roque’s lips. The kiss is chaste, Sebas too tired to take it any further, especially with Cristian clearing his throat at the unexpected display of affection. 

“And on that note, I’m going to bring my clothes down to the laundry room and give you guys some privacy,” Cristian says as he backs out of the bathroom and heads out of the room. 

“I think we scared him off,” Roque jokes and Sebas smiles tiredly. His head hurts and he feels like he’s been hit by a truck. "Are you okay?" Roque asks and Sebas nods and then winces in pain when it feels like his head is filled with bricks bouncing off the inside of his skull.

Roque helps him up as best he can with only one working hand and Sebas murmurs his thanks before lurching toward the bed and falling into it face first. 

“Sebas, I know you’re tired, but do you want to talk about what just happened?”

Sebas can hear the hesitation in Roque’s voice and he turns onto his back to see Roque standing at the side of the bed staring down at him. 

“Roque, I promise we’ll talk. And I will tell you whatever you want to know. But right now, I really need to sleep,” Sebas says, his words slurring, and he doesn’t wait for an answer before turning back onto his stomach and burrowing his face into the pillow. 

He’s asleep within minutes. 

***

The sound of the door opening, and the light from the hallway hitting his eyes, causes Sebas to wake. 

Roque’s standing in the doorway, holding some takeout containers, and Sebas winces before checking the time on Roque’s alarm clock. It’s 7:30 PM and Sebas sits up as Roque turns on the bedside lamp and places the takeout containers and plastic utensils on the nightstand. 

“How are you feeling?”

”Better, but my head is killing me,” Sebas admits. 

“I stopped by the med center and Pepa gave me some paracetamol to give to you.”

"Thank you,” Sebas says gratefully as he takes the two pills Roque is holding in his palm and swallows them dry. 

“I got us food,” Roque says, handing Sebas one of the containers and Sebas nods and reaches for it, knowing better than to argue with Roque about not being hungry. Roque hands Sebas a fork and reaches for his own container and they eat in silence for several minutes. 

Much to Sebas’ surprise, he finds himself starving, and he quickly makes work of the food in front of him. It’s only when he’s done, and he lets Roque take the empty container from him, that he looks up at Roque. 

“I had a panic attack,” Sebas says simply, ignoring the look of exasperation Roque directs at him. 

“No, shit. Have you had one before?” Roque asks, handing Sebas a bottle of water. 

“Yeah, I used to get them a lot when I was a teenager. But I haven’t had one in years and none since I’ve been at the HPC. I honestly thought I was done with them,” Sebas admits before taking a long pull from the water bottle.

"Did something trigger you?” Roque asks and Sebas’ eyes widen slightly at the term Roque just used.

"Have you been googling panic attacks?” Sebas teases, trying and failing to lighten the mood, when Roque fails to smile. 

“Sebas,” Roque warns and Sebas sighs in defeat. 

“My mom called while you were gone. Apparently someone called the house and my dad answered. They told him about the trailer and about us. My mom thinks it would be best if I didn’t come home for the holidays this year… Apparently they can’t deal with this again,” Sebas says, unable to keep the hurt and bitterness out of his voice. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry. Do you think it was Charlie?”

”I don’t know. Probably. Who else? He hates you and he's pissed at me for the trailer. It's definitely something he would do just to fuck with me,” Sebas mutters. He’s just so tired. He can feel the sting of tears behind his eyes, and he huffs out a breath in anger. 

Roque puts down his own takeout container and settles against the headboard. “Come here,” he says softly, reaching for Sebas. Sebas settles against Roque’s chest and Roque wraps his arms around his middle. “When did the panic attacks first start?”

“I always had anxiety, but it got worse when I turned fourteen. That’s when my anxiety turned into full blown panic attacks. I also went through a bit of a depression,” Sebas admits. 

“Did something specific happen to cause all of that?” Roque whispers gently in his ear. 

“There was this kid I was friends with at school that I developed a crush on. His name was Fernando. We got drunk at his house after school one day and one thing led to another. We ended up kissing and his parents walked in and caught us. His dad was livid and Fernando told his parents that I had forced myself on him. My parents ended up getting involved. So did the school. My dad wouldn’t look at me for months. My mom just cried. I was bullied by the other kids at school, not just my classmates, and also my teammates. It sucked…”

Roque tightens his arms around him. ”I’m so sorry. What ended up happening?”

“After months of being harassed, bullied, and eventually jumped after school, my mom finally convinced my dad to get a job in another part of the country. I kept my head down, threw myself into rugby, and eventually Javier took notice of me and recruited me here.”

“I didn’t know Javier had personally recruited you,” Roque admits.

”It’s why when that picture came out of you and Diego, I told you to be careful about what you post. I know it came out harsh, but I was just trying to warn you before what happened to me happened to you.”

“Hey, look at me,” Roque says and Sebas sits up and turns so he can face Roque head on. “I’m sorry you had to go through any of that.”

Sebas feels his eyes prickling at Roque’s words. 

“Have you thought about speaking to someone about all of this, other than me?”

”You mean like a therapist?” Sebas asks, blinking back tears that are threatening to fall at any second, much to his dismay. “Yeah,” he says, clearing his throat. “I used to see one back home but I stopped when I got here. It wasn’t working with my schedule and I had felt okay for the most part. Like I said, I hadn’t had an episode in years. I honestly thought I was over them…”

”Maybe you should try again?” 

Sebas nods. “I will. I promise. I’ll pass by the med center tomorrow.”

”Good, I’m glad,” Roque says, relieved. 

“Where’s Cristian?” Sebas asks and he settles back against Roque’s chest. 

“Gunter’s. When people got wind that he was here they decided to head over there for an impromptu gathering.”

”How’s Amara doing?” Sebas asks around a yawn.

”A lot better. Cris said she can finally speak again after having the breathing tube removed. She didn’t dope,” Roque says and Sebas sits up in shock. 

“Really?” Sebas asks in disbelief and Roque nods. 

“I know, we were all so sure after she collapsed. She admitted she had gone to Olymo’s headquarters but at the last second she changed her mind and convinced the doctor to lie for her and tell Hugo she took it so she could compete. The Anti-Doping Agency tested her multiple times and she came back clean.”

”Wow.”

”It’ll be awhile before she can train and get back into things but it looks like she’s staying.”

”That’s great news,” Sebas says and while he’s happy for Amara, it’s still driving him crazy that Roque’s fate is still up in the air. 

“I ran into Javier earlier.”

”How did that go?” Sebas asks, silently holding his breath. 

“Actually, okay. He asked how my hand is and how long I need to keep the cast on. He also brought up the possibility of helping him coach you guys to get you ready for Worlds while I wait for my hand to heal.”

”Wait, seriously? That’s awesome!” Sebas exclaims but his excitement falters when he sees the conflicted expression on Roque’s face. “What’s wrong?”

”Nothing. It’s a great offer. I miss the sport, not just playing, and helping to coach would be a great way for me to still feel like part of the team…”

”So what’s the problem?”

”It all depends on whether or not the league decides to sanction me. If I’m banned from the sport for taking the drug, I can’t help coach…”

”Fuck.”

”Yeah.”

”Have you thought about what you might do if that happens?” Sebas asks hesitantly. 

“Yeah, I have, actually,” Roque admits and Sebas turns to face him once more. ”Since all this happened with my hand, I have been thinking about maybe going into Sports Medicine or physiotherapy. They have programs in Andorra and Pepa mentioned she would be happy to help me apply if that’s something I want to do,” Roque says, blushing slightly. “Is that stupid?” he asks self-consciously and Sebas cuts him off with a kiss. 

“Not stupid. I can totally see you doing something like that,” Sebas says when he finally pulls away. 

“Yeah?”

”Definately,” Sebas confirms, smiling into the kiss Roque plants on him. Roque is going in for another kiss when Sebas involuntarily yawns right into his mouth and Roque bursts into laughter. 

“Shut up,” Sebas says, red-faced, and Roque grins at his petulant expression. 

“Go take a shower and get ready for bed,” Roque says, dragging Sebas up from the bed and leading him to the bathroom. 

Sebas grumbles but quickly undresses and steps into the shower while Roque washes his face and brushes his teeth. 

By the time Sebas steps out of the shower, Roque is already in bed reading. Sebas quickly brushes his own teeth, and puts on fresh underwear, before slipping under the covers. 

Roque puts his book down and turns off the lamp, shrouding the room in darkness. Sebas settles onto his back and Roque presses up against his side and they both fall asleep within minutes. 

Neither of them wakes up when Cristian slips into the room hours later. 

The light from the hall illuminates Roque and Sebas lying tangled in one another’s arms and Cristian can’t help the smile that sweeps across his face at the sight of his friends. Cristian shuts the door quietly behind him before undressing and crawling into his own bed.

***

There’s a dull ache behind Sebas’ eyes when he opens them. The room is still dark and a quick glance at the alarm clock next to his head shows that it's currently 6:20 AM. Sebas groans inwardly because the alarm is set to go off in twenty minutes and he feels like he hasn’t slept in weeks. 

He carefully tries to extricate himself from Roque’s hold, but as soon as he attempts to pull away, Roque is awake. 

“What’s wrong?” Roque mumbles and Sebas huffs out a laugh because Roque has to be the lightest sleeper he’s ever met. 

“Nothing, I have to pee,” Sebas admits sheepishly as he climbs out of the bed. Sebas walks to the bathroom, turning on the light, and closes the door behind him. The image that greets him as he passes in front of the mirror has him stopping in his tracks. 

His eyes are swollen and the circles under his eyes are so dark it looks like bruising. 

He looks completely wrecked and he has no idea how he’s supposed to leave the safety of Roque’s room to go to practice and swing by the med center. The thought of people seeing him like this has him freaking out because there is no way his eyes will be back to normal before he has to start his day. Sebas takes a shaky breath and tries to center himself. He splashes cold water on his face and pees before jumping into the shower. 

Sebas turns the water on as cold as he can tolerate and stands miserably under the shower head, goosebumps forming on his body from the chill. He doesn’t know how long he stands under the spray, teeth chattering, but it’s only when Roque knocks on the door, asking if he’s drowned, that Sebas finally shuts the water off and steps out of the shower. 

Sebas wraps a towel around his waist and takes another look at himself in the mirror. His eyes look a bit better but they’re still visibly swollen and his heart sinks. 

“Sebas?”

“Yeah. Coming.” 

Sebas turns off the bathroom light, plunging the room into darkness, before reluctantly unlocking the bathroom door. His heart sinks further when he sees Roque standing right in front of him. “All yours,” Sebas murmurs as he keeps his head down and eyes averted, but he can feel Roque’s own eyes burning a hole into him as he tries to brush past him. 

Roque’s hand grips his forearm and Sebas tenses. “What’s going on? Geez, you’re freezing!” Roque exclaims in surprise. 

Knowing there’s no way he can avoid it, Sebas raises his head, locking eyes with Roque and even though the room is dim, he can see Roque’s eyes widen in surprise. 

“I can’t go outside looking like this,” Sebas moans. 

Roque’s gaze softens and he wraps Sebas in his arms. “It’s fine. We’ll fix it. But why are you frozen?”

”I thought a cold shower might help with the swelling,” Sebas says miserably.

”You hate the cold,” Roque says, rubbing his hands along Sebas’ back in an attempt to warm him up. “Come here,” Roque demands as he steps back and leads Sebas to the dresser. He pulls out a pair of underwear, some track pants, and a sweatshirt, and Sebas takes them and quickly gets dressed. “Get under the covers and try and warm up a bit and I’ll try and get some teabags you can put on your eyes to help bring down the swelling.”

Sebas nods and crawls back into bed, an arm draped over his face, as Roque gets dressed and heads out of the room. 

Cristian is still sleeping blissfully unaware in the bed next to him. 

***

The teabags help, and an hour later Sebas has successfully made an appointment with a therapist for tomorrow morning. A last minute cancellation made it possible for him to be seen much sooner than he had anticipated. The doctor he spoke with assured him that they will try and work around his training schedule as much as possible and will notify Javier of the situation. 

Sebas is finally starting to feel better about everything when he sees Nuria and her mother walk past him, dragging several suitcases behind them. Before he can fully process what he’s seeing, they’re gone. 

“Did you hear?” Zoe asks as she sides up to him, and the static like buzzing in his ears disappears just as quickly as it had started. 

“Hear what?” Sebas asks numbly around what feels like a mouth filled with cotton. 

“Nuria tested positive. She’s been banned from competing and her and Amaia’s victory was overturned due to a rules violation.”

Nuria’s been at the HPC longer than Sebas and the fact that she’s now just gone has Sebas reeling. 

“Hey, Sebas? Are you okay?” Zoe asks, giving him a little shake. 

Sebas opens his mouth to say something but he can’t seem to find the words and he just shrugs helplessly. 

“Come on,” Zoe says, tugging on his sleeve, as she leads them outside. 

They walk outside in silence for a while before taking a seat on one of the many benches surrounding the facility. 

“Want to tell me why it looks like you haven't slept in years?” Zoe asks and Sebas flips her off in response. She nudges her shoulder against his, and after a couple of false starts, Sebas tells her about the phone call from his mother and the panic attack he had as a result. 

For whatever reason, he’s expecting to feel ashamed, but Zoe just says how proud she is of him for taking care of his mental health, and tells him that she’ll always be around if he wants to talk. 

“Thanks,” Sebas says gratefully. 

“Are you worried about Roque?” Zoe asks quietly and Sebas nods, not trusting his voice. 

“Cris, too. Not just because he’s a good guy, but because it’s one less person in Roque’s corner,” he admits. 

Zoe just squeezes his knee in response, and Sebas sighs, when his phone buzzes in his pocket. It’s Roque asking where he is and letting him know that he, Cris, and Renata are in the cafeteria. 

“What to grab a bite?”

”Hell, yes,” Zoe says, launching herself off the bench and pulling Sebas after her. 

***

Sebas and Zoe grab some trays and fill them up before joining Roque and the others at a table by the windows. 

“Did you hear about Nuria?” Cristian asks as they sit down. 

“I saw her leaving with her mother,” Sebas informs him. 

“Amaia said she got a three year ban.”

Zoe let out a low whistle at the news. “I heard she and Amaia’s routine was disqualified as well.”

”Yeah. Amaia was officially cleared though and was told she can compete next year. Her blood tests all came back clean.”

Sebas wants to ask Cris what he plans to do if he gets banned but he doesn’t know how to ask without coming off as a dick. Sebas feels a foot nudge him under the table and starts. He looks up to see Roque watching him closely.

You okay? Roque mouths silently and Sebas nods before giving him a tight smile. 

“Is Amaia better?” Sebas asks Cristian, taking a bite of his eggs. 

“Yeah, it’s a miracle,” Cristian says, his relief palatable. 

“Are you going back to the hospital?” Renata inquires. 

“Right after I’m done here. I only came back to shower, do some laundry, and grab some things for Amaia,” Cristian confirms. 

“Hey, thanks for earlier,” Sebas says haltingly and Cris just smiles at him. 

They’re interrupted by Lobo, Abdad, Lau and a few other players from the team. 

"You missed morning drills,” Lobo says and Sebas shifts in his seat.

”I wasn’t feeling well but I’ll be there for afternoon practice,” Sebas reassures him. 

“You missed Javier’s announcement,” Lobo says, straddling one of the empty chairs next to him. ”Charlie’s out. Banned for unsportsmanlike conduct. He’s not coming back.”

It takes a second for Lobo’s words to register. Sebas whips his head to look at Roque who stares back at him, stunned. 

“Fuck, yes,” Cristian crows as he hugs Roque, a wide grin breaking across his face. 

“Really?” Sebas breaths out. 

“Yup. Javier got the call this morning. Charlie was toxic as fuck and he never should have done what he did to you, Roque,” Lobo says and the others with him chime in agreement. 

“I - Thanks,” Roque says and Sebas can tell he’s still trying to process the news. 

“Also… Um, Javier made me interim team captain while you recover,” Lobo says, clearly uncomfortable. 

Sebas fixes worried eyes on Roque but Roque, much to his surprise, is smiling. 

“Good. You guys need a captain while I’m out and you care about the team and winning just as much as I do,” Roque says earnestly and Sebas watches as the tension slowly leaves Lobo’s body.

”Thanks, Cap. I’ll do my best to keep your seat warm for you while you recover,” Lobo says grinning, and Roque laughs. 

“You’d better.”

Lobo and the others head off shortly after, but not before Sebas promises to be at practice later. 

***

Sebas shows up early to afternoon practice. He’s expecting Javier to ream into him but Javier takes one look at him and sighs. 

“I got the report from the doctor. We’ll work around your schedule, and if we can’t, you can come after practice, and I’ll train with you one-on-one,” Javier tells him and Sebas nods in relief. “You heard about Charlie?”

”Banned?” 

“Yes. And Lobo is going to be interim captain. Now go run a few laps until everyone else arrives. Where do you think you are? On vacation?” Javier grumbles and Sebas nods before turning around and jogging off. 

***

Sebas is just leaving his first therapy session when his phone buzzes. He fishes it out of his pocket and is surprised to see it’s Roque actually calling him rather than texting. “Hey, everything okay?” Sebas asks.

”Yeah, I was just wondering how therapy went?”

”Good, I like Dr. Ferreira,” Sebas says, referring to his therapist. “And my old therapist finally got back to me. He retired last year but he’s going to have my file sent over.”

”That’s good. I’m glad,” Roque says in relief. 

“Are you sure everything’s okay?”

”Yes. I’m just bored of running on the treadmill all day long,” Roque grumbles in his ear. 

“I can help you burn off some energy later if you want,” Sebas offers, lowering his voice as he passes some athletes in the hall. 

“I will definitely take you up on your offer,” Roque promises and Sebas grins. 

“Where are you now?”

”Gym, about to start my leg workout.”

”You like working out your legs. Your thighs alone could kill a man,” Sebas teases. 

Roque chuckles but it sounds a little strained and Sebas frowns. 

“Roque?”

Roque sighs in his ear. “It’s stupid…”

”Try me.”

”I can’t train like I want to and I’m worried about how it’s going to affect me…physically…” Roque says reluctantly.

Sebas pauses in the hall. “It’s just temporary. I know it sucks but it won’t be forever,” Sebas promises. 

“I know. I’m being stupid. It’s fine,” Roque says quietly. 

“Do I need to head to the gym?”

”No, you need to head to practice before you’re late and Javier murders you,” Roque retorts. 

“What time is it?”

”Ten fifty-five.”

”Fuck,” Sebas says, breaking into a jog. 

“I’ll see you after practice.”

”Are you sure you’re okay? Because I will totally blow off practice and risk Javier’s wrath if you need me,” Sebas says breathlessly.

”I’m sure. Thanks for picking up. I’ll see you later.”

”Always,” Sebas says before pocketing his phone. Sebas is glad he’s already in his full kit, having suspected it would be tight to get to practice on time after his session.

He runs out onto the field with two minutes to spare. 

***

With Worlds only a month away and the team down three players, Javier is riding them all extra hard, and practice runs longer than usual as a result. Javier keeps Sebas after practice to run some extra drills to make up for missing morning practice yesterday. Sebas throws himself into them and Javier casually mentions him possibly being on the starting line-up again, much to Sebas’ excitement. 

Despite Sebas' fatigue, there’s a spring in his step as he finally makes his way off the field and heads back to Roque’s room to shower. 

Sebas hasn’t spoken to Roque since the phone call they shared earlier. He opens Roque’s door and stops in his tracks when he sees Roque sitting at the foot of the bed, phone cradled in his hands, elbows on his knees. Roque is curled into himself, head hanging, and he looks so dejected that Sebas’ stomach sinks. 

Roque doesn’t register his presence and that causes Sebas’ chest to tighten as his stomach lurches. 

“Roque?” Sebas whispers as he shuts the door behind him. 

Roque glances up in surprise as he clocks Sebas walking towards him. 

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in,” Roque says flatly. 

“What’s wrong?” Sebas asks, kneeling in front of Roque, his hands braced on Roque’s knees. 

Roque grimaces and lets out a heavy sigh and runs his good hand roughly through his hair. 

Sebas leans back, his weight resting on his heels, and he waits for Roque to say something. 

Roque finally meets his gaze, his eyes sad. "I just got off the phone with Cristian. He finally heard back. He’s banned for two years.”

”Fuck.” 

“Yeah. He expected something like this, but it still sucks. He said he’s going to pass by in a couple of days to get his things.”

“Did he say what he’s going to do? Is he going to appeal or go back home?” 

Roque shakes his head. “He said there’s no point in appealing the decision and he doesn’t want to go home. He and Iker are still not speaking to each other and his mother keeps trying to get them to reconcile after their fight… He says he might take some online courses and work part-time. He’s thinking of getting a place in Andorra so he can be close to Amaia.”

”So they’re going to try and make it work this time?”

”Yeah, looks that way,” Roque says, placing his phone down beside him. “Anyway, enough sadness. How was practice?”

”Good, actually. I ran some extra drills with Javier. It felt good,” Sebas admits. “He also said there’s a possibility that I could be on the starting line-up at Worlds,” Sebas says hesitantly. Sebas holds his breath, unsure of how Roque will react. The only reason Sebas even has a possibility of starting at Worlds is because Roque’s injured, and he knows the fact isn’t lost on either of them. 

“Sebas, that’s awesome,” Roque breathes out, a smile breaking out on his face. 

“Yeah?”

”Of course, yeah. You’re a hard worker and a great player. You deserve this,” Roque says firmly. 

“I mean, it’s not official yet or anything. I still might not—“ Sebas says but is interrupted when Roque cups his face and gives him a lingering kiss. 

Sebas rises up on his knees so he is an even height with Roque and returns the kiss with equal fervour. Sebas eventually pulls back and rests his forehead against Roque’s as they both catch their breath. 

“Shower time,” Sebas says, standing up suddenly and pulling his shirt over his head. 

“Okay, there, random.” Roque laughs at Sebas’ abruptness. 

Sebas grins down at him before bending down and sniffing Roque’s neck with exaggeration. “Stinky,” Sebas teases as he wrinkles his nose. 

“I’m stinky? You’re the one who just came back from practice without showering,” Roque protests. 

“Nope, pretty sure it’s you,” Sebas says as he steps out of his shoes and shorts. He kicks them somewhere behind him and reaches for Roque’s shirt and pulls it over his head. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Roque says, clearly amused. 

“You like it,” Sebas reassures him and Roque just stares at him for a moment, an unreadable expression on his face. 

“I do,” Roque says softly as he gets up and steps out of his track pants. 

“Where’s the plastic bag for your cast?” Sebas asks, looking around the room. 

“I think it’s in the bathroom.”

Sebas saunters to the bathroom and finds the bag by the sink where they last left it to dry off. Sebas turns around to find Roque standing in the doorway, watching him with a soft expression on his face. 

“What?” Sebas asks, a little self-consciously. 

“Nothing,” Roque says as he steps up to Sebas and gives him a quick kiss on the lips. 

Sebas grins as he places Roque’s injured arm into the bag and carefully tapes it up so it won’t get wet. He then peels off his underwear and helps Roque step out of his.

Naked, Sebas steps up to the shower and turns it on and adjusts the temperature, before stepping inside and dragging Roque with him. 

Sebas turns them so Roque is directly under the spray and proceeds to pour some shampoo into his palms before reaching up and lathering Roque’s hair. Once all the shampoo has been rinsed off, he kisses Roque on the lips before kissing and licking a trail from Roque’s neck, to his shoulder, and down his chest. 

Sebas runs his hands down Roque’s back before squeezing his ass. He kisses Roque’s belly before biting his hip and Roque yelps in surprise. Roque looks amazing like this, water running down his body in rivulets, and Sebas makes sure to keep his eyes on Roque’s face as he reaches for his cock. 

Roque sighs, eyes fluttering closed, as Sebas snakes out his tongue. Sebas lets himself feel the weight of Roque’s length on his tongue, before fully opening his mouth, and engulfing him. Sebas sucks as he reaches around Roque to squeeze his ass, drawing Roque further into the warm, dark cavern of his mouth. Sebas swirls his tongue around Roque before lightly scraping his teeth around Roque’s length. 

Roque’s breathing is ragged, his legs shaky, and Sebas watches through lidded eyes as Roque’s good hand grips onto the soap dish to stay upright, his bad hand resting awkwardly on Sebas’ shoulder. “Fuck, Sebas. Stop. I’m going to —” Roque manages to grit out through clenched teeth, but Sebas just smiles around Roque’ cock before relaxing his throat and welcoming Roque in deeper. 

Roque snaps his hips forward at the sensation before exploding in Sebas’ mouth. Sebas swallows every last drop Roque gives him before finally releasing him. Sebas licks his lips, smiling smugly up at Roque, who looks like he’s seconds away from falling over.

”Jesus,” Roque finally manages to say as he looks down at Sebas who is still on his knees before him. “Come here,” Roque says roughly before letting go of the soap dish to help draw Sebas to his feet. ”You didn’t have to do that,” Roque murmurs against his lips before slipping his tongue in Sebas’ mouth. Sebas makes sure to kiss Roque back, all teeth and tongue, so Roque can fully taste himself on his lips. 

Roque proceeds to kiss the shit out of him before trailing his own kisses along Sebas’ chest, pausing briefly to bite and suck on Sebas’ right peck, just like in Italy, and Sebas sighs at the sensation as he holds Roque against him. 

Roque looks up, waiting patiently for Sebas to open his eyes and stare down at him, before continuing. Roque licks and bites and sucks his way down Sebas’ body before parting his lips and taking Sebas into his mouth. 

Roque swirls his tongue around Sebas’ length before sucking greedily. Sebas moans loudly, his hand in Roque’s hair, as he pulls him closer. 

Sebas’ eyes close in bliss only to snap open in confusion when Roque suddenly pulls away and just stops. “I want you to watch me the entire time. If you close your eyes, I stop,” Roque demands and Sebas groans but forces his eyes to stay open as Roque takes him back into his mouth. 

Roque sucks and bobs, keeping eye contact with Sebas the entire time, and it’s so fucking hot, that Sebas feels like he’s dying. 

Roque releases him to suck on Sebas’ balls and Sebas’ head falls back, hitting the shower wall behind him. 

“Sebas,” Roque warns and Sebas shudders at the other man’s tone. 

”They’re open,” Sebas rasps as he tugs on Roque’s hair. 

“You’re supposed to be watching,” Roque drawls, way too smug for Sebas’ liking. Sebas growls in frustration before staring down at Roque.

Once Roque is satisfied with the level of eye contact, he opens his mouth wide and takes Sebas back inside. Sebas’ breath leaves him in harsh gasps, his legs trembling. 

Sebas isn’t sure how much longer he’s going to last with Roque looking at him like that. Sebas feels he’s close and he tries to warn Roque, but Roque only takes him in deeper and hums around him, and all Sebas can do is shout as he jerks and comes in Roque’s mouth. 

Roque swallows around him, taking his time to lick Sebas clean. 

Sebas is still trying to catch his breath when Roque stands and wraps him in his arms. Roque kisses him, their tongues twining, before pulling away. 

“You’re way too smug right now,” Sebas grumbles and Roque nips at his bottom lip, biting down gently on the sensitive flesh, before releasing him. 

“You loved every second of it,” Roque says cockily and Sebas is about to agree when the water temperature drops and he shivers instead. 

“Let’s finish washing up before the hot water runs out,” Sebas says and Roque hums in agreement as he reaches for the soap and a washcloth and hands them over to Sebas.

***

Another week passes by as Sebas focuses on therapy and practice. Worlds is only three weeks away and the pressure is really starting to get to him. Therapy is helping to keep his anxiety in check, and he’s glad for his sessions, because he doesn’t know how he would have dealt with all the pressure without his therapist’s exercises. 

Amaia is being released from the hospital at the end of the week, and Sebas is happy that Roque will have a friend around while he’s off at Worlds. Javier officially announced at morning practice his starting lineup and Sebas has made the cut, leaving him with a feeling of elation mixed with worry. 

Cristian had come by the week before to gather his things and it had been hard for everyone, but especially for Roque who has been in a funk since finding out about Cris’ ban. However, Renata and Zoe have been stepping up to keep Roque engaged and out of his head, and Sebas has never been more grateful for their friendship. 

After a gruelling four hour practice, Sebas sends Roque a text asking where he is and if he wants to grab lunch with him but his message sits unread. 

“Hey,” Sebas says as he runs into Zoe on the way to the cafeteria. “Have you seen Roque?”

”He was in the gym earlier. I think he mentioned going to see Pepa later. Maybe he’s there?” Zoe asks as she grabs a sandwich. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Sebas responds uncertainly. 

They grab drinks and fruit and head to a table in the back where Renata and some other Heptathlon athletes are sitting. Sebas nods to them before taking a seat and digging into his lunch. 

Some of the other athletes start talking about how Christmas is only a month away, and their plans, and Sebas shifts uncomfortably. 

“Hey,” Zoe says quietly, “have you heard anything from your parents since…”

Sebas shakes his head, his jaw clenching. Zoe reaches under the table and gives his leg a squeeze and he shoots her a quick smile. 

Sebas tunes out the conversation around him as he glances at his phone, but his message is still sitting unread, and he frowns. 

“You good?” Renata asks and Sebas startles. 

“Yeah, I just have something to do. I’ll see you guys later,” Sebas says as he grabs his bottle of water and an apple and heads out of the cafeteria. 

Sebas stops by Roque’s room first but it’s empty. He then turns around and heads toward the exit when he sees Roque coming out of the med center. 

“Hey, I was looking for you.”

"Hey, sorry. Dr. Murillas wanted another X-ray to make sure everything is healing properly.”

"Is it?”

"Yeah, she thinks I can get the cast off in a couple more weeks and then I can keep it in a brace. They also started some blood flow resistance training to help prevent muscle loss and build strength since I can’t lift weights on my right side.”

"That’s awesome.”

"Yeah. How was practice?” 

“Good. Javier announced his starting lineup…”

”Yeah?” Roque asks and Sebas breaks into a grin. 

“You made it?” Roque asks proudly and Sebas nods. “I’m proud of you. I knew you could,” Roque says and Sebas is surprised by how happy Roque’s words make him. 

Sebas glances around quickly, making sure they don’t have an audience, and plants a kiss on Roque’s lips. 

Roque seems surprised since Sebas has been even more wary of public displays of affection since the trailer was released, but he smiles and kisses Sebas back. 

“Hey, lovebirds. Get a room,” Lobo calls out and they quickly jump apart. ‘’I’m just teasing. Did this one tell you the good news?” Lobo asks, smiling. 

“About him starting at Worlds? Yeah, it’s great,” Roque tells him. 

“Won’t be the same without you, man, but I hope you’ll be there to cheer us on,” Lobo says as he claps his hand on Roque’s back. 

“I’m not sure yet,” Roque tells him but he’s interrupted when his phone rings. “I have to take this,” Roque says suddenly, heading for the front doors and stepping outside. 

Sebas chats with Lobo for a while and agrees to join him in the gym for a weight training session in an hour. Sebas texts Roque, who’s been gone for a while, but doesn’t hear back and he frowns before stepping outside. Sebas doesn’t see Roque anywhere and he walks around the corner toward the training fields. He finally sees Roque off in the distance, sitting on a bench with Javier, heads bent and deep in conversation, and he stops mid-stride. 

Sebas doesn’t want to crowd Roque so he turns back and heads inside to wait for Roque in their room. Sebas settles on the bed, but starts to feel anxious the longer he waits, and he reaches for the rugby ball Cris left behind and starts tossing it lightly in the air to distract himself. 

Eventually the door opens and Roque steps into the room, closing the door behind him. The sudden noise of the door opening causes Sebas to fumble the ball and Roque snickers from the doorway. 

“I hope you’ll do better at Worlds,” Roque teases and Sebas flushes. 

“Shut up,” Sebas says, tossing the ball at Roque’s chest and Roque manages to catch it with his left-hand. Sebas considers lamenting the unfairness of Roque managing not to fumble the ball with only one working hand, and his non-dominant hand at that, but then he remembers the phone call and sits up instead. 

Sebas stares at Roque expectantly and Roque places the ball down on Cris’ empty bed and sits across from him. 

“So, that was the Anti-Doping Agency that called earlier. They said after reviewing all the footage they gathered from the Olympo headquarters, as well as speaking to Zoe and other witnesses, including the doctor who treated me there, they’re letting me off with a warning and a reprimand since there was no intent to cheat.”

"Wait, so that’s it? It’s over?” Sebas asks, feeling about ten pounds lighter. 

“Yeah,” Roque says, clearly relieved. 

“What did Javier say?”

"How-?”

"I went looking for you after you disappeared and saw you talking to him.”

"He said he wants me at practice tomorrow to help him get you guys ready for Worlds. And he threatened to castrate me if I ever do anything stupid like this again,” Roque admits and Sebas laughs. 

“I’m so happy for you.”

"Thanks. I’m so happy it’s over. I just want everything to go back to normal,” Roque tells him. 

“Me, too. What about Worlds? Will you be there with us?” Sebas asks hopefully but Roque shakes his head. 

“Unfortunately, I need to be here for rehabilitation. I wish I could be with you guys, though,” Roque admits. 

“It’s fine. Focus on your hand and getting better so when we make Worlds again next season you’ll be there with us,” Sebas says and Roque leans forward and kisses him. 

“That’s the plan.”

***

Despite all the training, and their best efforts, Spain is eliminated after the second round. 

Sebas expects Javier to ream into them but despite their loss, Javier seems proud of them. 

“We’ve had shit luck, and we’re out some good players, but we’ll regroup and get them next season,” Javier says after the match. “Now shower and get back on the bus. This isn’t a vacation,” he barks before exiting the locker room. 

Despite the loss, Sebas is in pretty high spirits, and he can tell his teammates are feeling the same. 

They shower and change before climbing on the bus for the long drive back to the HPC.

Lobo sits next to Sebas and praises him for how well he played and Sebas grins at the compliment. 

“You didn’t do so bad yourself, Cappi,” Sebas says and Lobo laughs. 

“Tell your boyfriend to hurry up and get better soon so he can take his title back,” Lobo tells him and Sebas chuckles. 

“Heavy is the head that wears the crown,” Sebas says dramatically. 

“Dork,” Lobo says, trying to flick Sebas on the forehead, but Sebas squirms out of reach and Lobo laughs before patting him on the shoulder and heading to the back of the bus to speak with some of the other players. 

Tired but happy, Sebas sends off a quick text to Roque letting him know that they’re on their way back, before closing his eyes and trying to get some rest. 

***

”Almost ready?” Cris asks as he enters his former dorm room. 

It’s been a month since Worlds and life at the HPC is slowly going back to normal. The new administration has set up shop, and Roque’s cast is finally off. Roque’s still wearing the splint for the most part, and is spending equal time at physio and helping Javier. 

Roque’s feeling has finally come back completely, Olympo’s drug seeming to finally be out of his system, and they’re both relieved that the effects weren’t permanent. 

Amaia has started light training and Cris has gotten an apartment close by, alternating between part-time classes at the local college and working as a bartender on the weekends. And, based on his apartment, he appears to be making good money. 

“Hey, earth to Sebas. Roque and the others are waiting outside,” Cris says, dragging Sebas from his thoughts. 

“Sorry, yeah, ready,” Sebas says as he swings his duffle bag onto his shoulder, and scans the room one last time, making sure he hasn’t forgotten anything. 

“Relax, dude. I told you a million times, Roque’s parents are cool. Especially his mother. You’ll love them,” Cris says as he puts a hand on Sebas’ back and pushes him in the direction of the door. 

“Okay, okay,” Sebas says, softly laughing as he shuts the door behind them and they make their way to the exit. 

It’s Christmas in three days and most of the athletes have gone home for the holidays, the normally crowded halls eerily deserted. 

Sebas had been hesitant when Roque had told him he had been speaking with his parents and how, when they had heard he, Cristian, Amaia, Zoe and Renata weren’t going home, his parents had invited them all to come spend the holidays with Roque and his family. 

It wasn’t necessarily that Sebas didn’t want to meet Roque’s family, he was just worried that they might not like him. It took his therapist, Zoe, and Cris to finally convince him to say yes.

Sebas makes his way to the minivan they’ve rented for the occasion. 

“Everything okay?” Roque asks quietly as Sebas puts his bag in the back of the van.

“All good,” Sebas reassures him, trying to ignore the butterflies in his stomach as he leans in to give Roque a kiss.

“Come on lovebirds,” Zoe says impatiently from the back. “Some of us are looking forward to a home cooked meal.”

Sebas and Roque laugh. Roque shuts the trunk and they make their way to the front and buckle themselves in. Roque starts the vehicle and they take off in the direction of the highway.

***

From the moment they had arrived at Roque’s parents house, Sebas had felt his tension melt away. Roque’s parents, especially his mother, Esther, had greeted them all warmly into her home.

Cristian, who had already met Roque’s parents his first year at the HPC, had been practically smothered by Roque’s mother, as the tiny woman had wrapped her arms around him, lamenting at how long it had been since his last visit.

Esther had then proceeded to greet the rest of them as though she had known them forever, and her ease had helped to loosen the tightness in Sebas’ chest.

But it was sweet, old Alma, Roque’s childhood dog, who had stolen Sebas’ heart. From the moment Sebas had arrived, Alma had laid down before him, baring her belly, and Sebas had been unable to resist her, much to everyone’s amusement. 

It’s their last night before heading back to the HPC and Sebas is lying awake in bed, Alma nestled between him and Roque. It’s after 1 AM, the others asleep in the den, when Sebas decides to get up and get a drink of water.

Sebas carefully eases out of the bed and heads in the direction of the kitchen. It isn’t long before he hears Alma padding behind him. 

“Can’t sleep?” Esther asks from the living room and Sebas jumps at the unexpected sound. “Sorry, carino, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I was just getting a glass of water,” Sebas says shyly and Esther smiles warmly at him. “Would you like some mate? I know it has caffeine, and people say you shouldn’t have any before bed, but I can’t sleep without having one.” 

“I’ve actually never tried mate,” Sebas admits. 

“Would you like to?” Esther asks as she rises up and makes her way to the kitchen. Sebas tries to tell her that water is just fine but she tsks at him and enters the kitchen, Sebas following awkwardly behind her.

Alma follows them into the kitchen and promptly rolls over and exposes her underside. Sebas bends down to give her belly a rub, her tail thumping against the floor tiles. 

“Here you go, carino,” Esther says and Sebas takes the mate from her and follows Esther back to the living room. 

Alma jumps onto the couch and crawls into Sebas’ lap and Esther smiles at them over her own cup of mate.

“That dog adores you,” she murmurs and Sebas smiles as he pats Alma’s head and tries a sip of mate.

It’s bitter and strong and Sebas tries to keep his expression neutral, but he’s not sure he’s succeeded if Esther’s chuckle is anything to go by.

“Have you heard from your parents?” Esther asks and Sebas shakes his head. He hasn’t heard a word from his parents since he last spoke to his mother and it’s been the longest he’s gone not speaking to them. 

Sebas debated calling his parents for Christmas but the thought of them rejecting his phone call was too much for him to deal with and he chose instead to do nothing.

“I’m sorry, Sebas,” Esther says, and the melodic sound of her Uruguayan accent wraps around him like a warm blanket. “You know, one of the things we learn as we grow older is that parents aren’t always right. And family isn’t always the one we’re born into. Sometimes family is the people we choose to let into our lives.”

Sebas contemplates Esther’s words but is interrupted from answering when Roque wanders into the living room, hair mused from sleep.

“Oh come on,” Roque says petulantly, rolling his eyes at Alma who is strewn across Sebas’ lap, but he grins a second later at the sight of them. Roque takes a seat on the sofa next to Sebas and Alma gives him a lick and thumps her tail against Roque’s leg. “You’re totally spoiling her,” Roque tells him and Sebas laughs. 

“It’s not my fault your dog likes me better than you,” Sebas lightly teases and Roque cuffs him with his good hand. 

“Because you haven’t stopped petting her since you got here!”

“Well clearly she’s touch starved,” Sebas says and Esther shakes her head at all three of them. “Plus, it’s relaxing,” Sebas admits, running his palm from the top of Alma’ head and down her back, her silky tail gliding easily through his fingers.

Sebas looks up and sees Roque’s eyes soften.

The moment is broken by Alma who lets out a loud whine at the loss of contact and Sebas grins.

Roque shakes his head and pets Alma who thumps her tail against the couch cushions in excitement.

They play with her for a bit until Sebas lets out a yawn, fatigue hitting him suddenly. “I’m going to head back to bed. Thank you for the mate,” Sebas tells Esther, wishing her a good night. Sebas takes one last sip of mate before handing the rest off to Roque.

“I’ll be there soon,” Roque tells him and Sebas tells him to take his time. 

Sebas heads down the hall to Roque’s childhood bedroom. Sebas settles under the covers, turning onto his side. Alma jumps up and circles three times before lying down in front of Sebas, moulding herself against his chest. He gives her a kiss on the head and closes his eyes. He’s just on the brink of falling asleep when he feels Roque get into the bed. 

“That’s my spot,” Roque whispers to Alma and Sebas can’t stop the laugh that escapes him. 

“Everything okay?” Sebas asks sleepily, just making Roque out in the dark.

“Yeah, you?” 

“Never better,” Sebas confirms and they settle further beneath the covers, Alma occupying the space between them.

***

Breakfast is a flurry of activity. The boys and Renata packed the night before, but Amaia and Zoe have left everything to the last second and keep running around, Alma chasing after them, clearly enjoying the chaos.

Finally, they’re all packed up, the car loaded, as Esther keeps bringing out more Tupperware containers of food for them to take on the long drive back to the HPC.

Cris declares he’s driving the first leg of the trip, Amaia calling shotgun.

Sebas gives Alma a few extra pats and kisses and eventually Roque has to physically drag him away. 

There’s a final round of hugs and kisses before they all climb into the minivan and drive off, Roque’s parents waving from the doorway.

As Amaia and Cris argue over playlists, and Zoe is laughing at something Renata said, Sebas gives Roque’s injured hand a gentle squeeze before twining their fingers together.

They settle in, heads bent together, as the discussion around them changes from music to the New Year’s Eve party Cristian is planning at his new place. And as they turn onto the highway, Sebas can’t stop thinking about Esther’s words from the night before. 

Family isn’t necessarily the one you’re born into, it’s also the one you make for yourself. And as Sebas takes in the chaos and laughter around him, he’s grateful for the one he has now.