Chapter Text
Baekjin couldn't move.
Not a muscle, not his eyes. His expression was frozen like hard ice. Quite the opposite of Seongje.
Baekjin stared at the crumbling face and noticed the cracks.
Too late.
Seongje already got up. It's all his fault.
His foot is hurt.
He got hurt.
All his fucking fault.
And now, he couldn't even work to undo his mistake. He did try, he hadn't meant to ask him straight away about the police. It wasn't even his main worry, it was Seongje.
But the anxiety got the better of him, his body and brain reacted too fast to the smiles Seongje was giving. So he had to withdraw quick. But it just backfires, really, the consequences of his actions.
Now, he is on the armchair, not able to move a muscle as Seongje limps away from him.
Stop him.
Stop him.
Then, a voice laughed at him.
‘Remember how stupid you looked when you tried to chase Humin?’
So Baekjin didn't dare to even turn his face towards the direction of Seongje.
But something snapped, an old memory maybe.
Seongje sits beside Baekjin at his dining table, laughing—too hard.
Then, another,
Seongje is again by his side, trying to put ointment on his knuckles. Nagging at him about how he is allowed to hurt himself while fighting but Baekjin isn't.
Another one followed,
Seongje is there too with him, in the dark office. They are lying on the mattress on the floor, single sheets covering their bodies—none wanted to go home. Seongje didn't want to go to the chaos, and Baekjin didn't have the heart to return to the silence.
Then he did make a move.
He moved fast. Because Seongje wasn't Humin.
He was Seongje.
Seongje, who stayed by his side when meals were short and bills were heavy, and he stayed when money was full and their hearts were empty.
And if he closes his eyes and prays for a person to be on his side for all his life, it's always Seongje who'll come to mind.
“Seongje!” His body moved towards the boy with long steps; Seongje stopped for a second—he didn't cross the threshold.
But after that, he did get out of the basement, with Baekjin trying to erase the distance between them and stop him.
“Seongje, stop.” His voice came out with much more authority than he wanted it to. A sense of guilt washing over him. He tried to soften his voice, he really did, but a certain fear caught his throat in a tight grip, making his heart numb.
However, now, the heart wasn't cold. It was beating rapidly, resulting in shaky legs. It all felt so wrong to him.
They were outside, not too far away from the gate of the basement, when he finally caught Seongje's wrist, halting him back with great force. Which caused the twist in his leg.
Fuck. Fuck. He always messes up. He could feel the groan that Seongje let out settling in his bones. Reminding him of his cruelty.
“You aren't going to walk away.”
I don't want you to.
He is aware that his wording could be better, but in the end, he would always lose to his nature.
He sees the broken lips of Seongje, cracked but still so alluring. Then his eyes travelled to those brown eyes, filled with pure fury and disgust. And those eyes looked at Baekjin. With anger and wrath.
How harsh.
Seongje, who never dared to hurt him with anything except his hands, Seongje, who lowered his voice whenever he would notice Baekjin slowly nodding off while doing paperwork, his Seongje, who never summoned the courage to look at him with anything that wasn't love and devotion, now is searing him with hatred.
And he doesn't blame him, not one bit.
Something inside Baekjin scattered the moment he stared at those red eyes. His mask, maybe.
“You don't fucking get to say that.” The tone left him frozen and close to hollow.
No…no.
Not him.
He can take on the anger of his benumbed best friend with the face of a person who never knew what it means to feel emotions but not from someone that was his and solely his.
He won't let Seongje do this to him.
“You aren't allowed to leave.” There is an affronted expression taking over Seongje's face.
“No one allows me to do shit,” he sneers. The crushing force on Seongje's wrist was felt too, his foot injury shooting sharpening pain all over his leg. And then, there was Baekjin.
“I can. You work under me, Geum Seongje. You don't get to leave whenever you want until I approve.” His voice held a poisonous amount of possession.
“You have lost it, haven't you?” Seongje's body was finally coming down from that crushing anger, hearing Baekjin's voice… It indeed was cold, but Seongje did pinpoint the desperation its edges hold.
In the middle of claiming Seongje as a property, his words almost shook, and his eyes softened.
However, Seongje stopped himself from falling for those gestures. There is no way he will fucking let Baekjin treat him like a mutt. Like they never shared a bed, a meal, unfunny jokes, shattering nights, and curse-to-eyes mornings.
“Seongje, let's just…get inside.” Baekjin knew he was at his limit, and not in an ‘I'll not deal with it anymore’ way, but in a way he was too tired to watch how his ruthless behavior was hurting Seongje.
“No." The words landed as a final answer, but Baekjin didn't care. He tugged him closer, the momentum causing Seongje to fall on Baekjin's chest. He could feel both of their breaths hitch.
“You are coming inside with me.” Baekjin's black, orbit eyes held distress and finality at the same time. Seongje had a hard time gulping. But he was a man. And a man always accepts when he is defeated.
Seongje lowered his head, almost settling it on Baekjin's hard chest, and then with gritted teeth, his hands moved. The punch was held back. Did not contain sharp claws and venom. But it was hard enough to turn Baekjin's head on his left side. Baekjin watches Seongje unhurriedly lift his skull, locking their eyes again.
“You are such a piece of shit, you know?” The anger was gone, only agony remaining in those black orbs as he stared.
Baekjin knows.
He is well aware of what he is, and there is no method to fix him. That's why he doesn't answer further, letting his body do the most.
His hands on Seongje's soften, motioning him to walk with him.
Baekjin's hand on his felt like relief, despite wanting to pull his hand back. They walk with measured and slow steps. Baekjin is still holding him, taking or more likely deliberately dragging him towards the rusted metallic door, but making sure to match Seongje's pace so he doesn't put any pressure on his injured foot.
This whole scene makes Seongje's neck burn. Baekjin's wide back was staring dumbly at him.
“Motherfucker,” Seongje whispers, putting a middle finger in front of his back.
A smile creeping on those bruised lips.
The sky is beautiful, just the way he likes it. No stars in there, hidden by dark clouds. Only darkness and them.
He lets Baekjin lead him inside the basement.
》《
Inside, the absence of cold wind gives some comfort to their skin.
From behind, Baekjin could hear a snort. “Now, what the fuck do you want me to do here?”
It wouldn't be a lie if Seongje said he was taken aback by Baekjin's behavior. Because it was weird. Not once did Baekjin assert his dominance on him, maybe when giving orders or telling him to fix his mistakes. But never in this sense; he was never stopped from doing anything and everything he wanted just because he works for Union, for Baekjin.
Baekjin even gave him holidays whenever he wanted.
So, yes, it was bizarre to see him like a madman, but satisfying too.
The ownership made his stomach flip-flop.
Baekjin stands in front of him, already missing the warmth their coiled hands had. “I want you to listen.” He did not lower his eyes, neither did Seongje. “Sit,” he gestured to Seongje to sit on the same sofa he sat on minutes ago.
Seongje knew Baekjin doesn't back down, not when he knows he will win the fight, so there was no point in running away from him. But returning here filled Seongje's tongue with acid. Disgust and resentment.
Despite the pain still freshly and aching, he went down on the leather. Baekjin followed by sitting beside him.
Well, this is odd.
Seongje eyed him and then gave him a look before opening his pack of cigarettes.
However, a hand grabbed the cigarette box out of his grip. “The fuck? Fucker, give that back. You think you are my boss; you will have control over my every—”
“Seongje, I want you to listen to me with a clear head.” Seongje stops, then his eyebrows crease in confusion. “Don't… don't tell me you are trying to give yourself some kind of character development or whatever the fuck those anime shits have.” He was still looking at his cigarettes.
The audacity.
He watches Baekjin close his eyes, open them painfully slowly, and then he begins, “It was w-wrong for me to, you see…act like you are the traitor. It was reckless.”
Baekjin was surprised he didn't stutter more than once in his sentence.
“You are my friend, Seongje.” Seongje looks at him wide-eyed, a cracked laugh dying on his tongue.
Now, where did that come from?
Baekjin's gaze was attentive towards him. He was biting those rosy lips, left leg bouncing up and down, fingers playing with each other.
How nervous. How fucking adorable.
But he decided to act tougher. “Yes, you are wrong. Stupid and wrong.” Seongje spat.
The words didn't have any effect on Baekjin at all. He continued, “and I know we are on the same side.”
“Well, no shit. What made you flip your tongue?” Seongje was amused, a warmth settling in his heart.
Baekjin looks at him, then his eyes land on his foot. “Is it hurting?” Words were softer, way softer than he ever uses. Seongje didn't know if this was all just an act to make him stay to continue to help him do dirty work.
But whatever it was, it had its effect on him. He was about to throw a snide reply, but then he noted how hesitant Baekjin looked with his hand, debating if he should touch Seongje or not. So the bite remark went back. “Yeah, like a bitch.” Seongje gives his trained whine.
The one he uses on his mom whenever she doesn't want to baby him or his dad when he is being a pain in the ass. It had the same impact on Baekjin. Seongje internally grins, seeing Baekjin finally making a move and petting his thigh, even if it's in an awkward manner. The touch is most soothing to Seongje.
“Want to kiss it better?” He jokes.
“No, that's unhygienic.” A straight reply came.
They sat there for an hour, talking about nothing or everything. Seongje tells him how much of a dickhead Baekjin was for saying that, and Baekjin shamefully tries to cover up for his behaviour.
“Want to go out for drinks?” Seongje knew his foot would be a problem, but he didn't care, not if Baekjin would go with them. “You just got stabbed; there will be no drinks for two weeks.”
That caught him off guard. His body was still. Sure, Baekjin showed some concern over his injury in the past, but it was mostly vague. What changed? So, him almost leaving Baekjin played a part in all of this? Huh. Weird.But Seongje isn't complaining. Good for him.
} {
When they were returning back to their homes, Seongje offered to stay in his apartment, flirting every chance he got.
He was met by dead eyes and rosy cheeks as always, and he enjoys it greatly. “Then you will sleep in my house today,” Seongje says, the waves hitting his face.
Baekjin shakes his head. “That would be weird. Your parents would doubt something—”
“My mom is bisexual, my dad has gay friends, and you will be fine, Mr. Perfect.” The offer was tempting for Baekjin,even if he feels very awkward around adults, especially parents, he would still get to have a nice cozy room instead of his overexpensive cold bedroom.
“See, my foot cracked too! Can't you spend your night at your friend's to take care of him? Such a horrible friend you are, Na Baekjin.” Baekjin glared at him.
“So…it's a yes. Right?”
“Only if you don't make me sleep on the same bed as you.” Seongje laughs, all gummy smiles and no bite
. “I'll finally get to experience a sleepover, fucking romantic.” Seongje was practically beaming.
The lights of most houses on the way were off, only street ones giving them proper guidance of the road. “My mom talks too much, so ignore her if she tries to ask you multiple questions at the same time.”
“As if you're any better,” Beakjin whispers to himself, thinking how hard it can be.
Because, really, he handles Seongje's talkative nature on a daily basis. “Did you say somet—” Seongje's words stopped flowing into the air immediately, and their steps stopped as well as they heard a noise.
“What's that sound?” Baekjin's body jolted into alert mode; they both saw an alley, the source of the noise.
“It's…a crying sound.” Seongje instantly pulled himself closer to Baekjin. Instinctively or intentionally, Baekjin couldn't tell. “It's a child.” Baekjin's words hung in the air, spoken sadly. “Baekjinine, let's get out of here.”
Meanwhile, Seongje's face was filled with doubts and…fear? “There is a child, most likely a baby, Seongje.” Baekjin looked at him like he was the one being ridiculous. “Well, how many children do you see in the alley crying? almost to zero! And how many cases do you hear of people being killed by Agi Gwisin? More than ten percent.”Baekjin scoffed, already making his way towards the sound.
Behind him, Seongje tries his best to stop the man.
“Baekjin, no! I am not letting you go right to your death, fucker; you still haven't paid me for this month.” Seongje's voice was trembling due to the pain of injury, the cold night, or the fear of an unknown sound; it was hard to know.
Baekjin didn't stop, slowly holding Seongje's hand from where it was holding Baekjin back and taking it in his own hand. The gesture made Seongje stutter horribly. The blush was hidden by the darkness.
“We can check. If there is a ghost like you claim, I'll sacrifice myself.” It was a joke Baekjin told to lighten up Seongje's behavior.
“But what if it's really a ghost! We are fucked.” Seongje complained but didn't stop following him.
“And what if it's not?”
“Then…we are fucked up then too. What are we supposed to do with a damn baby?” Seongje's voice echoed in the not-so-silent alley.
The voice was getting closer. Seongje gradually stuck his half body with Baekjin's. “Are you scared, Seongje?” Baekjin doesn't do jokes, but it's different with Seongje. No harm in making a bit of fun of your silly right-hand man.
Hearing his words, Seongje immediately straightened his posture. “Who are you calling scared? It's just my foot,” his defending words looked weak as they went further towards the place.
And then, they stopped. The alley led them towards the other side of the street, one most of them don't use much,only rural people take this road, as it connects the market to their village. Their eyes went to the source of the crying.
A bundle of clothes had a tiny child in it, “no way….” Seongje's voice came in a whisper, already calculating their next move.
But Baekjin did it before they could see the face of the infant.
“Baekjin, it's a human child?”
“What else do you see?” With that reply, Baekjin moved forward, his eyes scanning the thrashing human baby with glinting eyes. He bent down to pick the bundle up.
His hands trembled, not because of the weight, but due to the unfamiliarity. He was struggling to wrap the child fully to cover them from the cold night; a hand did the work.
Seongje stood there, awkwardly, helping him in covering the fragile body. “The blanket is not even thick enough to cover the cold.” Seongje's words were quiet, trying not to slip the concern in them.
But Baekjin knew Seongje felt uneasy too. What could possibly be the reason behind leaving an infant out under the dark sky in a winter that was threatening them in their bones? The baby kept crying, as if throwing tantrums at the one who did them wrong.
Holding such a small life in his hands was scary for him, but still, his automatic response was to cage the baby in his chest, gently. “She is wearing such thin clothes,” Baekjin said mindlessly.
“How do you know it's a girl?” The baby is still sobbing in Baekjin's arms. “Well, the clothes.” Baekjin believes it's a girl.
“Ah-huh.”
“We should take her into a warm place.” Baekjin was already making his steps to get back.
“Yah, to my house? My mom would adopt her. Shit no.” Baekjin glanced back and replied, “We will take her to our office. it has extra blankets and warm clothes.”
“And they are for someone going over six feet tall.”
“We will make it work.” Baekjin kept walking, cradling her into his arms, doing his best to protect her from the cold. Seongje continued to limp beside Baekjin, peeking at the baby's face after every second.
The crying drained most of her energy. “How old is she, like months?” Seongje couldn't tell her age, but she couldn't be older than six months. No baby looks so weak when they have crossed number six.
“Hm, maybe around three or four months; can't tell exactly.” Seongje nodded at that, capturing the image of Baekjin with the soft ball of a bundle.
Seongje couldn't pinpoint what that was, but something tugged at his heart so hard, he couldn't stop his eyes from going back to them. Baekjin wasn't any better.
He glanced at the child with every step they took; she was starting to slow down the screams, her voice turning into hiccuping breaths and fading sobs.
“She is finally quiet.”
“She is tired and hungry,” Baekjin thinks for a second, wondering what to do next. But that took seconds only, because the steps were clear to him from now on.
“Can I touch her cheeks?” Seongje doesn't know what possessed him to ask that; it was a totally foreign thing for him. A whole different concept of being this close to a child this small, so the curiosity peaked.
Baekjin looked at him with slightly wide eyes before speaking. “I mean, why not? Just be extra gentle.” They stop on their track.
Baekjin watches as Seongje tentatively gives a touch to the soft skin on his cheeks. His index finger rubs the skin tenderly, with great care, feeling the skin.
“That's so soft!” Seongje lets out a shaky breath, with admiration sparkling through his eyes.
Baekjin watches his face and feels himself melt. It's such a sight to see Seongje get along with her, someone who…will be a daily part of their life from now on.
It didn't take much time to decide that, he has never made a decision without calculations and what-ifs. But this, this little one, has a magic that he couldn't shake off of him.
The moment his eyes landed on those little wet eyes and the soft crying echoed in his ear, he knew he wouldn't be able to leave this child. He has always been so fond of children; he was good at taking care of them at the orphanage, toddlers mostly.
“We should go.”
》《
They had reached the Union, with a very annoyed Seongje, but he still refused to scream or demand shits from Baekjin.
Baekjin understands where he is coming from; perhaps he shouldn't have informed him much sooner. The bowling hall was silent; it was a matter of time, and all the members who sleep here would be back from their business.
“Baekjin, just reconsider this.” Seongje still nagged at him from behind as they reached inside the office.
But Baekjin's primary priority was to give her the safest environment. He knew he was being nonsensical.
However, his heart did not allow him to leave this tiny baby. Baekjin handed him the keys of the short room attached to their office. It was mostly used by Seongje; Baekjin utilized this for changing clothes and bathroom stuff.
The bathroom was attached inside. “Open the room,” and Seongje did, even if he mumbled some words about how crazy it was going to be. They went inside; the baby was almost asleep now.
Her soft breaths clinging to Baekjin's chest. Seongje turned on the lights; apparently that disturbed her. She squished her eyes so hard and whined.
A chuckle left Seongje's throat at her actions. “She is so demanding.” He turned off some extra lights, letting only one bulb dim the room.“She will be,” Baekjin's words immediately settled an awkward silence.
When Seongje spoke, it wasn't calm. “Baekjin, I don't understand what's happening in your brain, but you see, this whole idea of raising a child in a syndicate is absurd!” He looked close to popping his eyes out as he stared at Baekjin like he was the one who wasn't understanding. “Seongje, I’ll make sure she is safe. And you don't have to—"
“Bullshit. Fucking bullshit, do you even know what you are doing? You are being selfish; we could take her to an orphan—”
“She is not going to any orphanage!” Baekjin's reply was loud and harsh, glaring holes into Seongje's body. His hands clenched unintentionally, feeling her cheek squish due to the force.Seongje locked his eyes on him, wide confused eyes scanning his whole body.
“I just...can’t believe you are being this reckless.”
“I will not let anything happen to her,” he grits his teeth, finally losing the tight grip.
“What about you?” The sentence shook him a little, eyebrows knitted together. He felt his heart skip. “Me?”
“Yes, you.” Baekjin wasn't sure if he noticed some trembling in Seongje's voice.
“You will be throwing your—future. This whole thing, taking a child in your care, Baekjin, you aren't making any sense.”
“I will not be throwing away my future, Seongje, why can't you understand? This is the right thing; I know it. I can feel it.”
He wasn't sure why he wanted Seongje's approval and acceptance this badly. He had already made his decision.
“Fuck, Baekjin, feel it? Explain how you will be completing your high school and college with a whole human being dependent on you.” Seongje was being reasonable, he knew he was. But he couldn't care less, he will figure it out.
“I'll not let her feel the coldness of an orphanage, Seongje, please.” Baekjin whispered, loud enough to reach Seongje.
Seongje halted for a moment, the anger and the absurdity of this all settling down. “I understand you—”
Baekjin snaps, “No, you don't. You have a family to call your own and a house you can claim, Seongje; you don't.”
It shuts Seongje up. He looked down in shame or anger, and Baekjin couldn't tell.
Seconds passed. They felt it bleeding in their skin.
“So, what's next?” His voice didn't sound defeated, just rested for now. “We need to feed her first and make her a bed; fetch me the blankets.”
“Don't order me.” There was no bite in his words, though. He brought all the covers he stored here for the heavy winter, spreading them on the bed messily. The action disturbed Baekjin, digging irritation in him.
“Did you ever make your own bed?” He came closer to him. “Make it yourself then.” Seongje snapped.“Yeah, I will. Hold her.” His words left Seongje flabbergasted. “No, what the fuck?” He was already retreating back, shaking his head in pure horror as Baekjin took his steps towards him, “It's just holding, Seongje. No rocket science.”
“I don't care, okay? I don't want to drop her.” His hands were behind his back, absolutely hiding them.
“Seongje.” Baekjin warned.
“Baekjin,” replied back.
“Seongje, stop and come here, it will be for just a minute.” Baekjin was already on his last straw.
“No-no.."
“I am your boss, and you will do what—”
“Enough with the boss card! What if I drop her, you fucker? I don't know how to hold them.” His voice was wavy.
Baekjin gives a deep sigh. “Okay, come here, I’ll teach you.”
“God, Baekjin, no!”
“Seongje, please!” The yell made the infant give soft sobs as Baekjin awkwardly shook her in his hands, unaware of how it's done. “We don't have the whole night, Seongje.” The words did the work as he watched Seongje take a deep breath, his feet moving forward hesitantly.
They were close now. “See, move your hands like this, yea-yeah. Make sure one hand is supporting her head.”
} {
The explanation and teaching went well.
Baekjin's hand felt lighter now, but there was no relaxation in it.
Seongje stood there uncomfortably. He held her so carefully, his face showing an immense amount of worry.
“Prepare the cover, fast.” He looked so nervous.
Baekjin had a mind to joke about how he would handle his own kids, but the joke quickly died deep on his tongue, filling his whole mouth with something he couldn't name.
He went on to correct Seongje's previous mess, cleanly making a small bed on the mattress. There were two fabrics left, which he would use to cover her body.
“Give me—” Seongje was faster, handing him the baby hurriedly. Baekjin took her in his arms again, feeling full.
She is cute.
Laying her down seemed to annoy her, she started whining and thrashing.
Well, it's going to be a problem. But he still left her lying there. She would need to make this her habit. With gentle movements, he shielded her with the thick blanket, wrapping the baby perfectly.
Seongje watches the whole thing from behind, his ears are red, probably from being this close to a tiny human being. He won't lie,he did like taking her in his arms.
She looked like she was the safest here, and Seongje liked it. More than he would like to admit.
“Call Dongha, and ask him to bring—” then he stopped. Seongje raised his eyebrows in question.
“Bring what?”Baekjin looked deep in thought, seconds passing as they stood in front of each other.
“What are the required things for a baby?” It was a little embarrassing to not know everything.
“God, what the fuck. It's obviously milk!”“and a feeding bottle” Baekjin completed Seongje's sentence. “But what else?” Because surely it couldn't be just these.
“Ask your mom” for now; this was their best option.
“What—no! She will start interrogating me; I don't feel like dealing with her on top of you.” Baekjin just glares at him.
“Just tell her you are curious.”
“She is super smart by the way.” Seongje looked at him stupidly.
》《
They decided to use the Internet for this, as Seongje searches for the information they need. He clicks on the first link that comes after the search; the website is colorfully designed, hurting his eyes to even read what is written in there.
Baekjin took the phone from his hands, saying, “Let me.” With the final words, he dived in.
They were sitting incredibly close, due to the bed being single and half of it occupied by the baby. Baekjin tried ignoring the heat and tension forming around the atmosphere; weirdly, Seongje didn't mutter any flirtatious notes into his ears.
Good.
He read the lines carefully, memorizing every tiny detail he could.
Baby formula according to age. Perfect diapers that aren't heavy and won't leak. Warm clothes, only soft fabric. No rough texture. A crib.Burp cloths. Mild baby soap. Baby moisturizer. Soft towel. Baby nail clipper, though this one scared him a little.
And the list went on. “That's full of expensive shit,” Seongje murmured. “Let's get essentials first.” He scrolled down, there he saw a link to a file and immediately clicked on it.
It led him to a video of a woman. Seongje and he watched with interest as she explained the process of feeding breast milk and formula milk for those who became mothers for the first time. Seongje laughed hard. “We should put a headline on the Union board to attract more members: ‘Na Baekjin, the leader of the Union, became a mother at just seventeen. Fill the form to—” an elbow landed on his stomach, making him yelp.
“You will wake her up with your violent acts!” He was rubbing his hurt side.
“Who's making the most noises?”Baekjin watched the woman's steps as she explained.
“It is crucial to rock the baby this way and make sure they burp; if not, they might vomit or spit up the milk. And it is important for releasing air.”
“Baekjin, you still have time. You can—”
“Not again.” His tone sounded final.
“Fine. Just don't come to clean her poop.”
Seongje looked annoyed, and he watched it, itching for a smoke, but work first, and apparently, his boss decided to hand him work that requires no smoking. Being with an infant.
He snatched the phone back with much more force, not breaking eye contact as they glared at each other.
His fingers dialed for Seongmok. That man was the easiest one among them.
The call was picked up in three rings; he did not care to greet. Eyes scanning Baekjin, who was now admiring the sleeping child on his bed.
“Gonna send you a list; bring all the stuff to the boss’s office. Use Union money for it.” His voice was careful as he watched Baekjin's loose posture, a sight that was rare even for him.
Baekjin stayed silent, eyes fixed on the sleeping infant.
A voice could be heard from the other side.“Yes, Seongje-nim.” Then the call ended.
Seongje had a hunch Seongmok would return the call, proven right in some seconds. His phone rang with a loud bell. Baekjin was still facing the baby, staring at her with thousands of thoughts in his head.
"Hyung, Did you send the right list?” A soft chuckle almost slipped out from Seongje, imagining the horrific confusion written all over their faces.
“Just bring the damn thing here, Baekjin’s order.” He could hear some whispering and annoyed voices in the background. Must be Dongha.
“Hyung—”
“Yes, I sent the right fucking list. Now, you better be present here in thirty minutes.” He made sure to add an extra tough tone. As soon as this whole matter wraps up.
Then the room was hushed into a soft atmosphere.
Baekjin's mind wondered how the presence of someone this small could be so gigantic. He could sense a pair of eyes in both of them, him and his little one. His. It feels so foreign right now. He wishes he wasn't being too selfish to Seongje and this child by doing this. He holds out the hope that Seongje will still chooses to stay by his side and continues choosing him.
A ludicrous and unattainable desire twisted in him. Maybe, there will be a day when they all will be together under the same roof. And he will have a family to call his own.
But a wish like this is pretty laughable.
Seongje's nature and his own cataclysmic and destructive personality will break through the roof’s walls in an instant.
As his eyes watched the tiny creature breathe in slow motion, he felt sudden longing claws at his heart to protect her from every sharp edge of the world.
But for now his heart was at ease. Baekjin will be her family, always there. She will not grow up in foster care or the cold walls of a church or charity place. She will have a home.
Her own home. And Baekjin will make sure of that.
“Her eyelashes are way too big, is it going to be a problem?” The question brings him out of his head, unhurriedly. “I don't think…maybe they are always like that. I'll read about it.” Seongje gives a hum.
Both silently stared at the only one who was resting without a worry.
“What do you think will happen now?” It was a question asked with an extremely quiet tone and doubts. “For now, we will keep her a secret from the Union. Expect Seongmok and Dougha. We will need their help.” Seongje agreed on this part.
“Seongje-ah” It was a gentle tone. “Hm?” “I get how you feel about this. And it's very odd that you are the one making sense. However, I want you to know this will be my final decision.” He doesn't understand why Seongje's approval matters so much right now. Or has it always been like this?
Seongje stares at him. Open and wide eyes scanning his face like a scientist studies its new experiment. He doesn't look mad or about to start arguing. But there is a concern lingering on his face. “Fine.”
》《
Seongmok arrives, with a very hectic Dougha carrying heavy bags. Seongje took them inside the room from the office, with a silent warning, 'Do not scream.'
The look on their faces was worth painting.
Baekjin was sitting on the small bed, with warm blankets arranged in a round manner around…something.
Was that a baby?
Seongmok's eyes went wide, immediately seeking Dougha's reaction.
And just like he predicted, Dougha was about to yell. Baekjin glared at him as an advisory.
“Is that a human baby!?” Seongmok almost winced at the scream. “Shut the fuck up.” Seongje stood up immediately in front of Dougha’s body, alerting him to calm the fuck down.
‘Boss, we will get an explanation for this, right?” Seongmok spoke with confidence, even if that was the last thing in his body right now.
Baekjin didn't say much. Just told them to take a seat in front of them on the chairs. Seongmok noticed how Seongje sat so closely to Baekjin.
☆
“So what then? Like we are going to raise a child? Is that a side quest now?” Dougha's voice echoed in the dimmed room.
“Dougha.” Seongmok's voice seemed to do the trick as he sat back down on the chair.
But still his eyebrows were knitted very tightly. Seongje made a face at his outbursts as if he wasn't the same some hours back.
“Boss, what do we need to do?” His words made Dougha confused.
“Need to do? Seongha, do you understand this whole thing is just messed up?”
“Dougha, you need the money. I need the work. Stop making a mess and function like you used to.” Baekjin's words weren't spoken loudly but very firmly. Settling the chaos in the room all at once.
The silence that wrapped around them was very soon broken by the baby's whining.
Dougha and Seongmok flinch slightly, looking at the direction from which the sound was coming. Seongje just sat the same, only his eyes moved and examined Baekjin precisely as the other man leaned a bit towards the child. He was so unsure of what to do or how to calm the baby, it looked pathetic.
But Seongje also had no clue about how to stop the small wiggling bun.
Bun.
It suits her.A smile spread on his lips involuntarily. Baekjin ordered the duo to get out, and he will call them for their next work. Dougha had an unpleasant face, while Seongmok just stared ahead at them. Bowing a little, they made their way out.
Baekjin immediately went to rummage through the bags, finding what seemed to be a bottle of glass. Seongje made a disgusted face. “What the fuck is this color?” He commented.
Baekjin ignores it, his steps in a hurry as he pulls out a pot they hardly used on cold nights for ramen. “What are you doing?” got Seongje’s attention as he walked closer to Baekjin.
“Boiling the water for milk.” The reply confused him more, so he just shrugged and went back to sit beside the baby.
“You know you are going to be in trouble, right?” He spoke lightly, keeping his voice to himself and the bun sleeping.
Her voice got louder, as if understanding his words. His eyes went wide, cursing some words to himself as he could hear Baekjin yelling at him from the small kitchen. “I didn't do anything, okay! She is hungry.” He gritted his teeth, lungs and tongue itching to get some smoke. “And snitching on top of that.” Then he went silent and just watched.
He saw her foot stuck out of the blanket. His hands went to cover it instinctively. “She doesn't even have socks.” Seongje talked to himself and then a little louder to Baekjin, “You did include the socks as well, right?”
“Of course.” Seongje looked back at him; he was doing something. A box of milk powder Seongje figured was in his hand as he attentively added the powder into the warm water.“Put some socks on her, then.”
“Can you do that instead? My hands are busy, Seongje.” “Huh?” His sly eyes turned into doe ones. Looking at the baby and Baekjin back and forth. “I can't do that.” Baekjin glared from there upon hearing those words.
“Seongje, you can do it. You aren't that incapable.” Baekjin knows his words, when fixed with indirect praise, always do the trick.
“No, I am not.” Seongje affirms.
He rose from the bed with a woof, shuffling through the bags to find the one that had clothes.He pulled out a bundle of tiny socks. A coo almost ripped out of his throat, but he controlled it.
Ripping out the packaging of one pair, he took them towards the bed and sat again in the same place.It took him a while to figure out how to put them on. The tiny bun in front of him was awake now, looking at him with curious eyes. Seongje stared back, as if challenging who would look away first.
He took her left foot gently, putting the socks on, and doing the same with another one. After work, he bundled her cozily in warm covers.Baekjin was finally back. A bottle in his hand, he looked…different. Not the union boss, not a cruel punisher. This Baekjin in front of him looked alive.
The thought almost knocked the wind out of him.Baekjin sat beside him as he held the feeding bottle towards the child. “Yah, shouldn't you feed her in your arms? Like that woman in the video…” An awkward tension spread around them. Baekjin gulped and then stared at the little baby. “Right,” he nodded, looking hesitant.
He sat comfortably on the bed and cradled her in his arms.
She immediately latched onto the bottle as he fed her. Seongje kept staring, Baekjin noticed.
“You are staring.”
“Hm.”
“Stop that.”
“You look like a mother,” he snickers.
“I'll murder you,” Baekjin hissed.
“Shh, Bun will be upset her mother is using violent language—” A pillow landed on Seongje's face, flat.
The action stirred the infant. “Now who is Bun?” He muttered, trying to make her focus on the milk again, and thankfully, she did.
“Bun! She is Bun. I named her Bun." Baekjin looked horrified as he saw a proud smile on Seongje's face
.“No, you didn't name her shits. Bun isn't an actual name,” he argued. Seongje made a sore face. “I will call her Bun.”
“No, you will not.”
“Yes, I will.” He showed her annoyingly pretty gums. Baekjin sighed and just focused on Bun—no! the baby girl.
After soothing her with milk, Baekjin opened the previous video. Following the lady's instructions carefully. The baby bubbled some words. Words that no one could understand, but she stayed sticking to Baekjin's chest as he rocked her. “She is taking her fingers in her mouth, is she still hungry?” Seongje spoke as he pulled her wet hand out of her mouth. She squealed in protest, so much louder than her crying.
“Would you look at this small Bun?” Seongje shook his head in fake disappointment.
After some minutes, they heard her burp.Seongje whispered, “Finally.”
“Are we done?” Seongje meant to ask about the feeding and taking care of her, whether the night was over for today or not. Baekjin was in the middle of falling asleep, her eyes being half open and half closed. Baekjin stilled for a second and then spoke, “Yeah, I need to feed her a little in the middle of the night.” Baekjin knew he couldn't be selfish and ask for more from Seongje, but suddenly the thought of being left alone with such a fragile life scared him.
“Oh, that's going to be tiring.”
Yeah, I'll manage. But the words never left Baekjin's mouth, as Seongje was already speaking again. “Where will we sleep?” Something was relieved in Baekjin's heart in a flash. “We can use some spare mattresses from the hall.” Seongje looked disgusted, and Baekjin understood it himself. Sleeping on those mattresses wasn't bad but not preferable either.
“There is only one mattress.” The words make Seongje smirk hard. Baekjin wanted to scold him for his perv thoughts, telling him there is a child in here, but stopped as Seongje immediately got up to set the mattress on the floor.“You can just go home.”
“You still owe me a sleepover.”Baekjin's lips twisted into a small smile, glad Seongje was busy with the bedding.
“Don't you dare touch me in any way.” His words didn't have seriousness but also didn't sound like a joke. They settled in the cozy new heat; space wasn't really a thing because of the size of the mattress. Baekjin didn't mind; hell, he even liked it.And Seongje? Well, he was just happy sleeping next to Baekjin. Baekjin set the alarm for feeding time. Seongje was already deep in sleep; it was most likely the painkillers and the injury.
He corrected some hair that was getting on Seongje's face, tenderly petting it back. With one last look at the sleeping Bun, Baekjin went to sleep.