Archive of Our Own

These days when Hongjoong got in a mood, he didn’t take it out on anyone else. Not anymore, not since they had all been young and frankly in over their heads and everyone was doing their best, even if they all had fucked up a lot. No, nowadays he seemed to mostly internalise it, which Mingi almost found scarier. If he was lashing out, at least he was getting his feelings out somehow. If he stopped doing that, Mingi worried he was just letting the bad feelings bounce around inside him, magnifying and magnifying until they destroyed him.

“Hongjoong?” Mingi didn’t know what was wrong, but he could hazard a pretty accurate guess based on Hongjoong’s previous whereabouts and his current expression. The meeting clearly hadn’t gone well, and Mingi knew he’d put a lot of hope into it. He’d been excited about the possible outcome. He probably hadn’t even thought about it not going their way at all. Mingi stepped closer to where Hongjoong was pacing the living room. “Hyung?”

“I can’t right now.” His words were almost wrestled from between his teeth, like he was trying his best to hold himself back from snapping. Mingi really did appreciate that, but Hongjoong didn’t have to do that. Not with him.

Mingi caught Hongjoong’s shoulder, trying to get him to meet his eyes. “Hyung,” he said again. It would be easier to gauge Hongjoong’s current state if he could just look in his eyes.

When he did, Mingi was startled by the look he saw there. Hongjoong seemed like a caged animal, like he was searching for a way out or a weakness in his enclosure. Like he was half a step away from gnawing at the bars.

“What can I do?” Mingi knew it was futile to ask as soon as the words left his mouth. Even if Hongjoong were good enough at understanding his own emotions to be able to tell him what he needed, he was definitely too far gone right now for any sort of mindful discussion of his own needs and feelings.

“Nothing,” Hongjoong said, which was the predictable response. “I’m fine, I just need to be alone for a bit.” He looked away from Mingi and resumed his pacing, leaving Mingi’s hand to slide off his shoulder as he stayed still.

Mingi didn’t believe him, was the thing. Well, Hongjoong probably thought he didn’t need anything. But Mingi was sure he was wrong. And Mingi was sure that he could figure out what exactly it was that Hongjoong needed right now. “Did they not agree to the—?”

“They showed up half an hour late, and it was obvious the whole time that they’d already decided on not doing it, even before hearing us out!” It was like he’d been waiting for the chance to talk about it, and Mingi’s prompting had made the words start spilling out. Mingi took Hongjoong’s hand and led him over to the little yellow sofa in front of the TV. Hongjoong sat down, and Mingi followed suit, still holding onto his hand.

“That’s shitty of them,” Mingi said, waiting for Hongjoong to go on.

“Yeah!” Hongjoong said, heat growing in his voice. “It’s not like we were asking for a lot of their time, just a few days!” As he worked himself up into a rant that would hopefully let some of his emotions out, Mingi slid off the sofa next to Hongjoong, and down onto the floor, kneeling in front of Hongjoong, who seemed too distracted to notice. “But no, even that is too much for them. Not like we haven’t earned it! Not like we’re not worth it! Not like it wouldn’t—”

Mingi leaned his head against Hongjoong’s knee as Hongjoong spoke, still looking up at him, making sure Hongjoong could tell that Mingi was listening to him.

“—we always exceed expectations! They’re just being pressured by someone, I’m sure of it. It’s not fair.”

“It’s not,” Mingi said, his chin resting on Hongjoong’s thigh. His fingers curled around Hongjoong’s calf over his slacks, his thumb gently stroking back and forth, while his other hand lay still on top of Hongjoong’s thigh. Hongjoong met Mingi’s eyes for a moment, and Mingi blinked slowly, meeting his gaze.

He looked away before speaking again. “It’s just so frustrating that no matter what I do, it’s never enough.” His voice had lost some of the heat from earlier, fading into a more quiet desperation, thin and vulnerable.

“That’s not true,” Mingi said. “You can do your best and there will still be things outside your control. That’s just the way the world works. It doesn’t mean you didn’t do enough.”

Hongjoong was still for a moment.

So still that Mingi didn’t even hear him draw breath.

Then–

“And why would they even agree to the meeting if they had already decided—”

As Hongjoong talked, Mingi reached for his hand, lifting it up and placing it on his head, not stopping until Hongjoong’s fingers had twisted into his hair and he had started petting him absentmindedly.

“What are you doing?” Hongjoong asked finally, when Mingi started nuzzling his face into Hongjoong’s thigh.

“Nuffin’” He looked up, giving Hongjoong his best innocent expression.

“Are you trying to distract me from being pissed off by fucking me?” His grip tightened slightly in Mingi’s hair and Mingi breathed out sharply.

“N–no, I just thought—”

“Just thought what?”

“That I could help you feel better…”

Hongjoong looked at him for a long moment, and Mingi almost thought he’d won. “I don’t think I’m in the mood right now, sorry.”

Mingi let his lower lip jut out, but Hongjoong didn’t look at him. “Hyung…”

Nothing.

“Hyung…” He dragged the word out, putting more of a whine into his voice. “I need you. Don’t you want to take care of me?”

Hongjoong’s hand loosened in Mingi’s hair, sliding down the side of his face until Hongjoong grabbed him by the chin, fingers digging into his cheek. “You’re so needy.”

Mingi nodded. “Need you.” Hongjoong hadn’t even given in yet but Mingi could already feel the anticipation curling hot in his stomach. He just had to be careful how hard he pushed.

“I said I’m not in the mood.” He squeezed Mingi’s chin.

“I’m sorry,” he tried. “I can’t help it…”

Hongjoong scoffed, the derision in it sending a shot of arousal through Mingi’s body.

“I’ll do whatever you want.”

“You already do that.”

“You can do whatever you want to me.”

“I already do that.”

“Please…”

Hongjoong pushed Mingi backwards harshly using his hold on Mingi’s chin, and Mingi fell back onto the floor, catching himself with his arms, making his elbows throb with pain from the impact. “You’re such a pathetic slut.” He said it almost fondly, and Mingi’s heart skipped a beat.

He almost had him. Mingi bit his lip and furrowed his brows, pushing himself up into a seated position and rubbing his elbow with a pout, looking up at Hongjoong to make sure he was watching.

“But you’re my pathetic slut, aren’t you?”

Mingi licked his lips, getting back to his knees. “Yes, yours,” Mingi said, crawling forward until he was between Hongjoong’s legs where he was sitting on the couch. There was still a crease between Hongjoong’s eyebrows, still tension in his mouth, and Mingi almost groaned in disappointment when Hongjoong leaned back on the couch and looked away, crossing his legs.

“I’m sorry Mingi,” he said, stepping out of the playful conversation and into something real and vulnerable. “I can’t tonight, I’m not in any state to.”

“Fine.” Mingi huffed out a breath and sat back on his heels. He was still determined to help Hongjoong. He knew he could. Just like Hongjoong had done for him countless times when he needed it. When he needed to be reminded that he meant something to Hongjoong, that he was wanted and needed and necessary. When Hongjoong showed him he cared so much that he was willing to spend hours flogging Mingi’s ass or figuring out which places on Mingi’s skin he could bite without leaving a visible mark or teasing him with a vibrator until he was babbling incoherently as tears streamed down his face.

Hongjoong so often saved Mingi from himself. Mingi could certainly do the same for Hongjoong.

“Okay,” he said, getting to his feet. “You’re right. You’re not in any state to.” Careful, he told himself. Push the right buttons and not the wrong ones. Mingi had to gently coax Hongjoong into figuring out for himself what Mingi already knew, without telling him outright. Telling him would just make Hongjoong clam up even further. He had to provoke Hongjoong into giving in to what Mingi was certain Hongjoong needed right now. “I’ll just go to my room, then.” He turned away, lifting his arms up in a stretch and pushing his ass out a little as just a hint of his waist was revealed.

He didn't even need to check to see if Hongjoong was looking. He knew he was.

“Oh,” Mingi said suddenly, turning around to face Hongjoong again. “Do you remember which box the purple dildo is in? You know, the one that feels almost exactly like your cock?” Mingi pretended to think for a moment, pressing his finger to his bottom lip. “Or maybe I’ll just use the cock sleeve.”

No reply, but Mingi had to suppress a grin as he watched Hongjoong’s hands tighten into fists where they rested on top of his thighs.

It was almost too easy. He turned away again, swaying his hips as he walked towards his room.

They’d been at this for a long time by now. Mingi knew Hongjoong. He knew him. He knew what made him happy and what pissed him off, he knew in what order he liked to eat his dinner (vegetables last, always – if at all) and how he arranged his shoes (not really whatsoever). He knew the last time Hongjoong cried (when Mingi made him watch Your Name Engraved Herein a few weeks ago) and the last time he came. He knew how to make him smile and how to make him angry and how to make him come using nothing but his tongue.

And Mingi knew how to push Hongjoong into action. How to force him to get over his self-repression and finally face his feelings instead of pretending he could just put them in a box and act like they weren’t there.

It just took a little bit of skill and cunning.

And a whole lot of acting out.

Mingi got into his bedroom and loudly pulled the box of toys out from under his bed, letting it drag across the floor before sighing dramatically. He was also loud when he opened it, tossing the lid to the side and letting it clatter on the floor. He was also loud as he rummaged through it, boxes and containers thudding against each other as he dug beneath them and found what he was looking for. The big purple dildo hidden away in a luxurious velvet pouch. It was silky to the touch, and Mingi traced the veins carved along the shaft with one finger. He hoped he wouldn't have to use it, always preferring Hongjoong’s own cock to the imitation, but they were comparable, there was no denying that. The curve of it, the length, the rigid unyielding hardness of it, it was all similar, enough to get Mingi through the nights when Hongjoong was away for a day or two.

It was still only a pale imitation, a coincidental find when Mingi had been idly browsing online one afternoon. He hadn't even realised the similarities until it arrived and it fit in his palm almost exactly like Hongjoong did, except cold and lifeless.

It would more than do in a pinch, though. Mingi grabbed a few other items from the box before getting onto the bed, making sure that his every move could be heard out into the living room. He knew Hongjoong would be listening.

Hongjoong didn't like it when Mingi used toys. Not on his own. Hongjoong liked to use toys on Mingi. He liked that a lot. But without him? He hated it, and Mingi could tell. He was such a little control freak. But Mingi also knew that Hongjoong would never ban him from using them, because he would feel too guilty or mean or something. Something in that strange little brain of his that Mingi didn’t understand.

But Mingi wouldn't mind if he did. He never minded giving up control like that to Hongjoong. He trusted him. And he didn't see anything wrong with asking for what you wanted. But a lot of the time Hongjoong wouldn't. Like he was worried about Mingi's reaction . Or maybe he was worried about what it would reveal about himself. Mingi sometimes thought Hongjoong was scared of himself. No matter how much Mingi tried to reassure him that whatever they did, Mingi was into it. Whatever Hongjoong wanted to do to him, Mingi loved it.

Begged for more, even.

And the few times that it felt like Hongjoong was giving in, finally taking what he wanted, instead of just taking what Mingi offered – those were Mingi’s favourite. Those were the times where he felt truly wanted and needed and useful. He could take it. He could take whatever Hongjoong wanted to do to him.

If Hongjoong would only ask.

If Hongjoong would only take.

Mingi rearranged the pillows on the bed before leaning back against them, trying to refocus his mind. He considered dragging it out, teasing and touching himself slowly as he undressed, like he would if he was trying to take his time and make it good for himself.

But really, this wasn’t about that.

He was putting on a show for Hongjoong, and right now Hongjoong couldn’t see him, he could only hear him.

So instead, Mingi sighed a little exaggeratedly as he pulled his hoodie off, trying to find the balance between making it a show and not making it too obvious that he was making it a show. He kept up with the soft sighs and groans as he undressed himself, even if his touch was more perfunctory than pleasurable. The thought of Hongjoong sitting on the sofa still, listening in but pretending he wasn’t… Trying not to… It made Mingi’s skin tingle and by the time he was pulling his briefs off, his cock was straining against the fabric, a wet spot forming on the cotton. He imagined Hongjoong squirming, getting hard himself and trying to pretend that he wasn’t. He could be so stubborn and self-denying and Mingi never understood it.

Mingi couldn’t resist fisting his cock, the groan he let out this time completely involuntary. An honest representation of how turned on he was escaping from his throat as his thumb pressed over the head of his dick. He was so wet at the slit, and Mingi used his thumb to spread it, easing the way as he jerked himself off slowly. For a brief moment he considered just getting himself off quickly and giving up. Maybe Hongjoong wasn't listening in at all. Maybe he had put his headphones in and gotten to work. Maybe he’d even gone to his office, leaving Mingi behind to make a fool of himself.

There was a clatter, outside the room, coming from the living room. Like something small had been dropped on the coffee table. It startled Mingi, making his heart jump and his cock leak another few drops of precome.

He was listening.

“Fuck,” Mingi groaned, planting his feet on the bed so he could buck up into his fist. He wasn’t close, not yet, but he wanted to be. He was so turned on that he almost forgot what his plan was. He had to keep reminding himself that he had a goal in mind and that he was going to work towards it.

Reluctantly, Mingi let go of his cock and reached for the lube lying next to him on the bed. He flipped the cap off the top with a satisfyingly loud creak that he hoped could be heard in the living room. He poured some of the cold liquid into his palm and then spread it over two of his fingers. The toy was way too big to go straight to it, no matter how much practice he’d gotten. He spread his legs further and pulled them higher, exposing his hole and giving himself easier access. Then he reached his hand down and used a finger to spread some of the lube over the outside of it, rubbing himself in a slow circle.

Maybe Hongjoong was sitting in the living room, palming his own dick right now as he listened to Mingi, too proud and stubborn to come to the bedroom. Maybe he was trying his best to focus on something else and ignore his erection. Maybe he already had his trousers down and a fist around his cock, touching himself in time to Mingi’s moans.

Mingi pushed one finger inside himself, wishing it was Hongjoong’s instead. He still sighed as a little zing of pleasure shot through him. Hongjoong always teased him and called him a pillow princess, and Mingi blushed but couldn’t exactly deny the allegation. He liked it when Hongjoong took care of him. There was nothing wrong with that.

But he also did like to serve. He did like doing whatever Hongjoong told him to do, whatever he asked him to do. Whatever he commanded him to do. And most of all he loved doing what Hongjoong needed him to do. And he was sure that was what he was doing right now.

Or at least, he was working towards it.

He added another finger, only realising he’d been holding his breath when it was forced out of him at the stretch of it. He slowed down the movement of his hand, trying to find what felt good so his moans could be earned, even if a little exaggerated.

It felt good. He bit his lip and threw his head back as he groaned, his hips rolling to meet his fingers as he thrust them in and out. He closed his eyes, hoping that when he opened them next, Hongjoong would be there. Standing at the door, watching him, that familiar smirk on his face, a hint of derision in the arch of his brow and the crook of his mouth. He’d make fun of Mingi for being so needy and desperate, before coming to the bed and taking over for Mingi, replacing Mingi’s fingers with his cock, stretching him open and filling him up like he was made for it.

The, “P–Please,” slipped from Mingi’s lips before he realised it, and his eyes flew open.

But the room was still empty, aside from himself.

There was no sound from the living room either, not even so much as the indeterminate shuffle of fabric or squeaking of the couch. Mingi might be making a fool of himself in the empty apartment for all he knew. The whine he let out now was one of frustration. He really had been trying to focus on what he was doing this for. He was trying to provoke Hongjoong into action, to use Mingi as an outlet for his frustration instead of internalising it. To let Mingi help.

But it was hard to keep that thought at the front of his mind when his cock was leaking heavily with each thrust of his fingers and his body was feeling hot and desperate for more.

He reached for the purple dildo with his free hand. He’d usually maybe try to work his way up to three fingers before going for the toy, but he was feeling too worked up, too needy and excited.

And maybe the extra stretch would result in a good moan that would finally break Hongjoong’s stubborn refusal to come fuck him. He opened the bottle of lube again, spreading it over the toy, excess spilling over his fist and dripping onto the bed and he didn’t care. He wanted it inside him. Once he’d spread the lube over it, Mingi brought the toy down to his hole, pressing it against his rim and trying to force it inside.

Then he let out an annoyed whine. It felt too big, his hole too tight, and the angle all wrong. He allowed himself another petulant whine, telling himself it was all for Hongjoong, as he shuffled over onto his stomach on the bed, hoping that would give him a better angle to work with.

This time, when he reached behind himself to press the toy inside himself, his rim gave way after only a little bit of pressure, and Mingi slowly pushed it as deep as he could, letting out a sigh of relief.

If Hongjoong wasn’t going to fuck him, this really was the next best thing.

He didn’t even have to exaggerate his noises anymore, his deep moans entirely honest and without an agenda as he pulled the toy out and then pushed it back in, feeling the entire hard length of it dragging inside him, the way it stretched his rim so deliciously and filled him up.

“Oh fuck, fuck,” Mingi moaned as he pressed it inside himself once more, before pushing himself up to his knees so he could arch his back more, jutting his ass out even further as he reached behind himself. Gravity tugged at his cock where it hung between his legs, the head dragging along the sheets of the bed below. Mingi blindly reached to his side with his free hand, grabbing one of the other toys he had brought out. He got a good grip on the base of it as he brought it beneath himself, letting go of the dildo for a moment as he slid his cock inside the sleeve with a groan, before securing it beneath some pillows. Like this, if he arched his back right and let his upper body rest on the bed, he was able to fuck the sleeve at the same time as he thrust the other toy inside himself.

He was pretty proud of himself for a moment, until he got too overwhelmed by the sensations and had to focus the aim of his hips and the angle of his wrist as he fucked into himself. He was clutching at the sheets with the free hand he was using to support himself, his throat feeling raw from how loudly he was moaning, and god, he was so close already, so quickly. He’d only need a little bit more before he spilled himself inside the sleeve. Dizzyingly fast, Mingi approached the edge, the buildup taking him off guard until he was hanging his head as he panted hard, moving his hips and his hand quickly.

There was a harsh yank on Mingi’s hair, making him arch his back and whimper in pain. At the same time a hand pressed down on Mingi’s lower back, putting a halt to his movements as a voice whispered harshly in his ear.

“What do you think you’re doing.” The words were bit out from between Hongjoong’s teeth, his hot breath hitting Mingi’s ear and cheek. There was danger in his tone, and the thrill of it ran through Mingi like a shiver. He could taste the fear on his tongue.

“N–Nothing, I was just—”

“Shut up.” Hongjoong’s hand came over Mingi’s where it held on to the toy, and pulled it out painfully quickly, leaving Mingi empty and bare. “So fucking desperate,” Hongjoong went on. “Desperate for anything to fill up your greedy hole.”

“Please—”

“I said shut up.” Mingi’s mouth snapped shut, his heart beating so hard he felt his whole body trembling with each squeeze of the muscle in his chest. Hongjoong leaned even closer, his voice turning quieter and somehow even more dangerous. “I say I’m not in the mood and your first instinct is to go to your room and find the biggest toy you can find and try to satisfy your desperate little hole yourself?”

The thing was, Mingi knew how to talk Hongjoong down when he got like this. He knew the words to say that were most likely to ease him back and bring him closer to his usual self. He knew how to reassure him and help him get himself back under control.

He just wasn’t sure that was what Hongjoong needed right now. Something bad that he had no control over had happened, making him feel like he had no control at all. Mingi’s instincts were telling him that Hongjoong needed to be out of control for a little bit in order to find it again.

“I’m sorry,” Mingi said, and Hongjoong’s grip in his hair eased slightly. “It just feels so good, I can’t help—Aah—” Another burst of pain from his scalp as Hongjoong tugged on his hair again, pulling him back into an agonising arch.

“Feels so good you just can’t help it?” Hongjoong hissed, using his other hand to grab Mingi's wrist and pinning it against his lower back. “Can’t help being a needy little slut?”

“I’m not—”

Three fingers pushed inside Mingi’s hole, dry, meeting no resistance, the lube leftover from earlier making it easy. “You want to say that again?”

“P–Please, Hongjoong,” Mingi whined, letting himself rock back against Hongjoong’s fingers. Hongjoong indulged him for a moment, before pulling his fingers out harshly, leaving Mingi open and empty yet again, clenching down on nothing.

“You think you can do whatever you want, just because you're horny?” Hongjoong took Mingi's other hand, the one he'd been using to support his weight, and brought it behind his back until he had both of Mingi's wrists in his grip, pressing them down against his back. Mingi struggled to find his balance, his face and chest pushing into the mattress. The movement made his cock drag slightly against the sleeve, and Mingi's hips stuttered, seeking more with a soft moan. “What, are you so pathetic you can't even stop yourself from rutting into the pillows?” Hongjoong's free hand reached around to Mingi's front, and Mingi swallowed, waiting for him to find the sleeve. Waiting for what his reaction would be.

Hongjoong's hand stilled as it pushed the pillow aside, looking for Mingi's cock and finding it buried inside the sleeve.

“Oh… This…” Hongjoong's voice was low. Dangerous. There was cold fury in it that made Mingi's body thrum from the thrill and the fear and the anticipation. “This is how low you've sunk?”

“I—” Mingi's first instinct was still to please Hongjoong. To be good for him. It was getting harder and harder to keep his plan in mind as the allure of just letting himself fall into the experience became more and more irresistible. To just give himself over and let Hongjoong take him down like usual.

“You think this was for you?” Hongjoong asked, his voice trembling a little at the end, shaking the sleeve a little and making Mingi moan. “You think this yours to use as you want?” His grip around Mingi's wrists got tighter, pain radiating out from where the bones were squeezed together. “You think—” His voice cracked on the word and Mingi's heart ached.

“Yes,” he forced himself to say. “I thought I could just—You were busy, I was just going to—”

“Just going to get yourself off like a greedy little boy?” He was leaned over Mingi, so close that his lips brushed against Mingi's ear as he spoke. His hand came to Mingi’s throat, resting there, fingers splayed out across the column of it. Mingi shuddered. “You think you can just do whatever you want without my permission?”

“I'm sorry! I won't do it again, I promise!” Mingi struggled against Hongjoong's grip, finding no give. Hongjoong's weight on top of him kept him pinned down to the mattress, grounding him as the long line of Hongjoong’s body pressed down along Mingi’s. Mingi’s cock throbbed with want and arousal and he wanted nothing more than to rut his hips into the sleeve until he came.

He didn’t.

“I’ll be good, help me be good, please.”

“Yeah, you will.” Then the weight was lifted off Mingi, and Mingi turned his head to see what Hongjoong was doing, but he felt it before he saw it as the soft leather cuffs locked around his wrists from behind. It was a familiar sensation, but it still gave him the same thrill as always. He wouldn’t be able to get free from them unless Hongjoong let him. He felt Hongjoong’s hand run down his back and down over Mingi’s ass to his thigh. Mingi pulled against the restraints again until his arms hurt. Just to see. His ass stung as Hongjoong smacked it, and Mingi gasped in surprise more than anything. “You greedy little slut. You get this,” he paused, and then Mingi groaned as the toy was shoved inside him again, deeper than he’d taken it before. “–when I say you can.” He pulled it out again and Mingi let out a whine, both at the pain and the loss of it. “And I say you can’t.”

“But I—” Mingi started, fighting the pleasant haze that wanted to take over him.

There was a harsh tug on the chain that connected the cuffs around his wrists. “Good boys don’t talk back.” He let go of Mingi’s cuffs and pulled back for a moment again, and then something cold closed into place around Mingi’s neck.

The collar.

He’d only worn it once before, but he could remember how good it had felt as it locked into place around his throat. The slight pressure against his airway had been heavenly, as Hongjoong’s eyes had gazed at him with fervent hunger, making Mingi feel like a precious object to him. Something to be cherished and protected, valued beyond anything else. Hongjoong’s fingers had traced the collar as he fucked Mingi almost reverently.

This time there was less veneration as he clipped the leash into place on the ring at the front of the collar and then tugged on it, forcing Mingi’s head up and back. He still had to arch his back to do it, as Hongjoong was holding down his waist with one hand. The pressure on his throat was less a teasing hint and instead making him truly have to fight for each breath, turning him light-headed almost instantly. He couldn’t tell if it was because he was unable to breathe as easily as before, or because he was so turned on that all the blood in his body had gone to his cock.

“Still going to talk back?” Hongjoong asked, pulling the leash even tighter until all Mingi could do was shake his head. “Good, for once you act smart.” He gave Mingi a little more slack with the leash so he could breathe easier before continuing. “I don’t know why I even came in here. I should just let you get off with that thing on your own like the pathetic little boy you are.” Mingi whined, unsure if he should say something.

“No…”

“No, what?” Hongjoong asked, leaning closer and tugging on the leash again. “You want me to leave you alone so you can fuck yourself the way you want?”

“I want you…” Mingi wished he was facing Hongjoong so he could give him his best innocent expression. He struggled to speak as the collar restricted his airway. “Hyung…”

“Are you sure about that?” Hongjoong pulled back, letting go of the leash, allowing Mingi to relax again, euphoria flooding his body as he drew oxygen into his lungs again, making his limbs tingle. “Which do you prefer?”

“W–what?”

“Which,” Hongjoong started, before pushing the toy back inside Mingi again, “Do you prefer?”

Mingi groaned as the toy was pushed deep inside him, still trying to catch his breath. He felt like his whole body was quivering, overwhelmed with every different sensation from deep inside his core. Even Hongjoong’s hand on his lower back was sending little sparks of electricity along Mingi’s skin. “I–I don’t—”

“You don’t know?”

“Please, I want—”

“The toy or my cock. It’s a simple question.” He pressed the toy even deeper, taking Mingi’s breath away and his eyes squeezed shut from the intensity of it. “Well?”

“You,” Mingi gasped. “I want—” Hongjoong pulled the toy out before pushing it in roughly, with far more force than previously, and then Mingi choked on his words as he found his body convulsing in pleasure, taking him off guard as he came.

Then, there was silence for a moment. Hongjoong was still behind Mingi. Mingi’s body felt pleasantly relaxed, but his mind raced, heart thudding in his chest.

He waited.

Then he felt the shift behind him as Hongjoong leaned in closer again. Mingi felt his breath on his ear, moving his hair a little as Hongjoong held himself there for a moment. Then he spoke, his voice a whisper, tense and brittle, coiled like a loaded spring. “Did you just,” Hongjoong said. “Did you just come without permission?”

There wasn’t really a right answer here, no matter what Mingi said he was in trouble, because he was already in trouble. His stomach fluttered, and he bit his lip.

“Did you?” Hongjoong’s voice was louder now, and Mingi flinched. He didn’t even get to enjoy the afterglow.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.”

“Didn’t mean to be a pathetic little brat? Didn’t mean to come as soon as your greedy hole got filled?”

“I—ah—” Whatever he’d been about to say – he wasn’t sure himself – was cut off as Hongjoong thrust the toy inside him again. His thrusts were shallow but harsher, he was holding onto the bottom of the toy with his whole fist, which then smacked against Mingi’s ass when he slammed it into him.

“Yeah?”

“P–please,” Mingi panted, choking on every word he wanted to say every time Hongjoong pushed the toy inside him again, the harsh whacks of his fist hitting Mingi’s ass jostling him on the bed. His cock had started to soften inside the sleeve, but Hongjoong’s touch was making the blood flow there again, the turnaround almost painful.

“See,” Hongjoong said, still hissing the words harshly into Mingi’s ear, “I should just leave you alone with the toy. You clearly don’t need anything else.”

“No!” Mingi shouted, much louder than he’d intended. “I want you, please. Want your cock, Hongjoong please.” He turned his head back but Hongjoong yanked on the leash, making Mingi’s head pull back from the force of it.

“I’m not sure I believe you.” Another thrust, and Mingi groaned, making his throat fight the pressure on it from the collar. “Maybe we should see which one you really prefer.” The leash slackened again and Mingi drew in a quick breath, not knowing how long he had before Hongjoong would pull it again. Then he gasped as he felt a finger at his rim where it was already stretched around the toy.

“Oh…”

“Let’s see which one you prefer,” Hongjoong said again, as if to himself. Then he hooked his finger under Mingi’s rim and pushed it in alongside the toy. Mingi moaned at the stretch, his heart beating quickly making the blood rush in his ears. He felt almost dizzy with it, like he was only aware of things from afar as there was another finger at his rim, stretching him even further.

“Fuck, fuck, Hongjoong…”

Hongjoong fucked him slowly with his two fingers and the toy at once for a few moments, and Mingi didn’t think he’d ever been this full before, his breaths coming harshly as he tried to keep himself in his body and keep the feeling from overwhelming him, making him spin off course uncontrollably.

Another finger, and Mingi bore down on it, trying to make it easier for Hongjoong as the stretch burned at him, both his rim and the fire roaring deep in his gut.

“Yeah, see, you can take it…” It still sounded more like Hongjoong was talking to himself than to Mingi, but the words still made Mingi feel warm and easy. He could take it. For Hongjoong.

Hongjoong added a fourth finger. Mingi let out a raspy, high pitched whine as it fought its way to press inside him. At some point Hongjoong had added more lube, and the squelching sounded obscene when it could be heard over Mingi’s whines. He’d stopped fucking him with the toy, though, only moving his fingers slowly in and out.

Mingi thought he knew where this was going. It seemed almost inevitable, now. Like this was where they had always been heading, ever since Mingi took out that toy. Maybe even before then. He still gasped when Hongjoong pulled his fingers out, feeling empty even though the toy was still left inside him.

“Oh… God… Wait—” It was unmistakable, the touch of Hongjoong’s cock against his rim. He was still fully clothed, Mingi could feel the fabric of his trousers and his shirt where their bodies were pressed against one another. It made him feel even more vulnerable, being so completely naked and open in front of Hongjoong while Hongjoong was still dressed as normal, only pulling his cock out to tease at Mingi’s hole next to the toy. Mingi felt loose, used, relaxed and ready for a rough fuck, except…

Except…

God, could he take this?

Hongjoong didn’t give him room to think on it too long, pulling the toy out until only the tip of it was holding Mingi’s hole open. Then Hongjoong’s own cock started pressing at his rim alongside the toy.

“Wait…” Mingi said again, heart beating quickly. He pulled at his restraints again, but found them sturdy enough to hold, digging into his wrists as his tugging turned more frantic. His rim started to burn from the stretch, the pressure, as Hongjoong tried to squeeze his cock in next to the toy. “Wait, I can’t—!”

“Can’t what, baby boy?” Hongjoong said, his hand pushing down on Mingi’s shoulder and forcing his head down. “Can’t stop being a brat? Can’t learn your lesson? Can’t be a good boy for once?”

Mingi let out a loud whine, the harsh edge in Hongjoong’s words going straight to his cock, making it throb. “I—No, please,” he said, feeling Hongjoong’s hand tighten where it grabbed on to Mingi’s shoulder. He imagined what it would feel like in his hair, pulling as Hongjoong fucked him. Mingi’s mouth fell open and his breaths were so short that he was starting to feel light-headed. Then he gasped as Hongjoong started rocking his hips a little, the tip of his cock slowly easing further and further into Mingi. Mingi's cock had softened as he focused only on breathing, making room, stretching himself out and folding into whichever shape suited Hongjoong.

Stretched him beyond what he thought he could take, but he took it anyway. For Hongjoong.

“Please—Don’t do this,” Mingi begged, letting his voice tremble a little. His shoulders were starting to hurt from the way his arms were pulled behind his back, his wrists aching from how he had pulled at the cuffs.

“I think I’ll do what I want, actually,” Hongjoong said, his voice cool, betrayed only by the slight waver on the last syllable. Then he rocked his hips again and the head of his dick finally stretched Mingi’s hole open enough to pop inside. After that, the slide was easier.

Or, that’s what Mingi assumed. He wasn’t really sure, all he could feel was the overwhelming size of Hongjoong’s cock inside him, the stretch that seemed to be taking over all his senses, narrowing his existence down to just the way his body gave way to Hongjoong, allowing Hongjoong to use him as he pleased. Allowing him to use Mingi as he needed. The deeper his cock made its way inside Mingi, the fewer thoughts Mingi had swirling around in his mind. He was trying so hard to keep holding on, to stop himself from going down too deep, but it was so difficult when Hongjoong was stretching him to his limit like this, forcing Mingi to take it without giving him a choice. Without allowing him to think or doubt or worry.

“See, you can take it.” Hongjoong’s hips came flush to Mingi’s ass and Mingi finally sucked in a gasping breath, feeling the oxygen flooding his body in relief, even though he hadn’t been aware he’d been holding his breath. “You’re my good little slut, aren’t you?”

“Yes, yes, I’m—”

“Mine,” Hongjoong said in a harsh whisper, leaning down closer over Mingi’s back, his lips close to Mingi’s ear. He moved his hand back to the collar, his fingers hooking beneath the leather and tugging, restricting Mingi’s windpipe again. “Mine.” He stayed buried deep inside Mingi for a long moment. Mingi wasn’t sure what he was doing until he could feel Hongjoong’s nose tracing against the shell of his ear, his hot breaths hitting Mingi’s shoulders, travelling across them until he was on the other side, burying his face in the side of Mingi’s neck. His teeth took a hold of a sensitive part of Mingi’s throat, making Mingi moan as he bit down on it.

Some part of him thought he ought to protest, he bruised too easily, someone would see, it would be too difficult to hide, but he was unable to force the words out. Too busy biting his lip as he groaned and writhed beneath Hongjoong.

“Mine,” Hongjoong repeated, finally pulling back. He rolled his hips, finally moving his cock and momentarily relieving Mingi of the overwhelming fullness he was feeling, but as he did, the dildo started slipping out along side Hongjoong’s cock. “Shit.” Hongjoong pushed it back in with one hand, holding it there, deep inside Mingi as Hongjoong fucked into him.

It felt like nothing Mingi had ever experienced before. He’d never been so full, never been stretched so far, never been filled so deeply. It felt different from the usual pleasure he got from getting fucked. Not only were Hongjoong’s thrusts teasing Mingi’s prostate and making his cock leak as it started filling out again, but he felt a deep, all-consuming pleasure in his gut from being so full, like a warm heat that didn’t ebb and flow with Hongjoong’s thrusts like usual but kept building and growing like a rising sun inside him, magnifying every sensation.

“Here,” Hongjoong said, pausing his thrusts and grabbing Mingi’s wrists and pulling them back and down. “Hold it.” He pulled Mingi’s hands down so far that his shoulder joints protested, but Mingi felt with his fingers what Hongjoong was asking of him. Hongjoong wrapped the fingers of one of Mingi’s hands around the base of the toy. “Hold it.”

Hongjoong’s voice brokered no argument. Even though the position was uncomfortable for Mingi. Even though it hurt to contort himself like that. He could take it. For Hongjoong, he could take it. Mingi took a deep breath and then held on as tightly as he could with the tips of his fingers, slowly stretching his arms and his back until he could get a better grip.

“Good boy,” Hongjoong said, his hand, now free, coming to Mingi’s hair, burying in it as he cradled Mingi’s skull. He pulled out quickly before fucking back into Mingi, and Mingi sucked in a breath as he had to focus on keeping his grip strong and hold the toy in place. Hongjoong never slowed his pace, and it was almost comforting for Mingi to have a task to focus on as he endured the onslaught, his cock fighting to get hard again. “You like it?”

“Yeah,” Mingi sighed.

“You like it?” Hongjoong asked again. His hand left Mingi’s hair, trailing down Mingi’s back.

“Yeah.”

“Tell me.”

“I like it, I like—ah…” Mingi’s words got cut off when Hongjoong’s hand came down to cover Mingi’s, moving it until the toy was moving in and out of him alongside Hongjoong’s cock.

“Tell me,” Hongjoong repeated, a snarl in his voice.

“I—I like—Please, I can’t, I can’t—”

“Which one do you – don’t stop – which one do you like better, the plastic or Hyung’s cock?” Hongjoong’s hand had let go of Mingi’s, and when Mingi slowed his thrusts with the toy, Hongjoong told him off sharply, before continuing his question.

“I—Fuck—I—”

“Which. One.” Hongjoong punctuated his words with particularly hard thrusts, knocking the breath out of Mingi and making it hard for him answer, even though he wanted to. The cuffs around his wrists rattled as he kept trying to move his arms to reach for something – anything – he could take a hold of, but getting stopped by the restraints.

“You – please – You, just you.” It was the best he could do while Hongjoong was thrusting against his prostate relentlessly and Mingi felt so full that he worried he would start splitting apart at the seams. The only thing holding him together was the solid weight of Hongjoong on top of him, grounding him, and the cuffs biting into his wrists, keeping him tethered to his body.

Hongjoong hummed. “Are you sure about that?” He kept his pace up though there was no trace of exertion in his voice.

“Yes, yes, it’s always you, Hyung, please.” He felt tears pricking at his eyes. He wanted to come, but he wasn’t sure he was allowed to. The sleeve was still teasing at the head of his dick, gravity pulling on it tantalisingly where it balanced on the bed. “Please…”

“No,” Hongjoong said sharply. He reached around Mingi’s front, grabbing the sleeve and tossing it somewhere behind them. Then he slapped Mingi’s cock, making Mingi cry out in surprise and pain, the toy slipping from his fingers. Hongjoong drew in a harsh breath, as Mingi’s body had clenched down on his cock in Mingi’s ass. “Fuck…” Hongjoong slapped Mingi’s dick again, a quick strike of his fingers at the head, and the tears finally spilled from Mingi’s eyes.

“Please,” he sobbed. He couldn’t flinch away from Hongjoong’s hand as he only ended up bucking against Hongjoong, who seemed to be enjoying Mingi’s pain. Mingi expected another smack on his dick and his whole body was tense, waiting for it. When it didn’t come, he allowed himself to relax a little, enjoying Hongjoong’s cock rubbing against his prostate.

That was when Hongjoong struck again. “No.” Then he groaned. “Not yet.”

“Hongjoong,” Mingi whined, and Hongjoong pulled on his leash again.

“I said not yet,” Hongjoong hissed. “I decide when you get to come. You’re mine, aren’t you?”

Mingi nodded frantically, the collar still inhibiting his breathing. He was starting to feel light-headed again.

“Then you only come when I tell you.”

“I will,” Mingi choked out. “I promise.”

“Good boy,” Hongjoong said, and then he let go of the leash, only to slap Mingi’s cock again, harder than ever before. Mingi sobbed and automatically clenched all his muscles in response, gripping Hongjoong’s cock tightly. Hongjoong grunted behind him before gripping Mingi’s hip tightly, burying himself inside Mingi until his hips were flush with Mingi’s ass. Mingi could feel Hongjoong twitching as he emptied inside him, and Mingi carried his weight as Hongjoong slumped on top of him, before slowly lowering them down to the bed.

Mingi’s dick was still hard, painfully so, and so sensitive that even the feeling of pressing against the bed was almost enough to make him whine. But Hongjoong hadn’t said he was allowed to come, and even though it made him want to cry from frustration, Mingi didn’t rut against the bed, didn’t reach for the toy still half in his ass, didn’t do anything except try to catch his breath and wait for Hongjoong.

When it had been a few minutes, Mingi thought maybe he should help Hongjoong off and tuck him into bed or something, but the thought of it felt like an insurmountable obstacle when he was still so hard, and felt so wrung out that it was like he’d just performed a full set on stage.

Then, Hongjoong stirred. Mingi could feel his breaths on his back, his cheek glued to Mingi’s skin before he lifted himself up. Without saying anything, he pulled out of Mingi, the toy coming out along with him and suddenly Mingi felt empty. Emptier than he’d ever been, hollow, like something vital was missing.

Cold.

He didn’t realise he was crying until Hongjoong turned him around to lie on his back and started wiping Mingi’s tears with his fingers. “Pretty…” That only made Mingi cry harder.

“Please,” he said, feeling small and vulnerable. “It feels weird.”

“Weird how?” Hongjoong’s face was still hard, his expression a little distant, but his hands were gentle on Mingi’s face.

“Empty. I want… I—”

“What do you want, baby?”

“Want you, please…” Mingi realised that Hongjoong had taken the cuffs off him, and his shoulders and arms felt painfully sore as he lifted them up around Hongjoong’s neck. He spread his legs and Hongjoong settled between them.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…”

“You still haven’t had enough?” Mingi shook his head, biting his lip. “You’re such a little whore, desperate for anything to fill you up.”

“No!” Mingi protested. “I’m not. Not anything. Just you, please. Please.” He tried to pull Hongjoong closer. He wanted him closer. Hongjoong resisted. Looking at him, his face was flushed and there was a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead. Mingi reached up to brush the dark hair free that was sticking to his skin.

He wasn’t ready.

“Please… I want you… I need you…”

“Do you?” His voice was surprisingly sincere.

“Yes.”

Hongjoong’s hand trailed down Mingi’s body, and Mingi spread his legs further as Hongjoong wrapped his fingers around Mingi’s cock loosely, giving him a few strokes. Making sure he was still hard. Then he let go and Mingi tried not to whine or pout, because then Hongjoong’s fingers were at Mingi’s entrance, pushing inside.

He was still so loose and wet and full of Hongjoong’s come that there was no resistance, his rim giving way easily to three of Hongjoong’s fingers. Hongjoong chuckled, and that made Mingi whine and blush a little. “Don’t…”

Hongjoong glanced up at him, a wicked grin returning to his face. “I thought I told you,” he said, moving down on the bed. “I’ll do what I want to you.” Then he was bending his head to lick over Mingi’s sloppy hole, tongue flat and demanding, almost cruel in its persistence. Mingi lifted his knees and arched his ass forward to give Hongjoong easier access. Hongjoong’s tongue pressed inside him, hot and wet and not teasing at all, greedily licking at him with hungry determination while his hands pushed and pulled at Mingi's hips to position him the way he wanted.

Before long, Mingi was panting as he writhed on the bed, his cock so hard it was almost painful as it lay against his belly, leaking steadily. When Hongjoong stopped, pulling back, there was a sticky puddle of precome on Mingi's stomach slowly starting to travel down to his side as his entire body heaved with each breath. He didn't get long to recover as, without any preamble, Hongjoong was pushing his cock inside Mingi again. Mingi couldn’t even stop to wonder how Hongjoong had managed to get hard again so quickly because he couldn’t breathe from how well Hongjoong’s cock was filling him up, managing to give him exactly what he needed and permeate that empty space inside him that Mingi didn’t even have words to describe.

“Fuck,” Hongjoong said between breaths, before pulling out and pushing back in. Mingi could feel the way the lube and come still inside him were squelching with every drag of Hongjoong’s cock as Hongjoong started building up to a fast pace, thrusting inside him with harsh snaps of his hips. He almost mourned when he felt it start to leak out of him, carried out by Hongjoong’s cock and dribbling down Mingi’s ass and onto the bed below him. He wanted to be full of Hongjoong in every way possible, he wanted to carry Hongjoong with him wherever he went, traces of him so deep inside Mingi that they could never be washed out. Hongjoong grunted above him and then hooked his arms below Mingi’s thighs, lifting them up until Mingi was folded almost in half as Hongjoong leaned down over him.

“God…” It was overwhelming, with Hongjoong so fully in control, fully in charge, looming over Mingi and keeping him helpless, taking what he wanted from him with each thrust. Mingi’s cock throbbed, bouncing against Mingi’s stomach at every roll of Hongjoong’s hips and Mingi wanted nothing more than to wrap his fist around it and jack himself until he finally, finally got to come.

Well, there was one thing he wanted more.

“Hongjoong, Hongjoong,” Mingi chanted in time with Hongjoong’s thrusts. “Hongjoong, please…” Mingi’s fingers had been gripping the sheets trying to hold on but now he lifted his arms again to Hongjoong’s neck, trying to pull him closer. Hongjoong went along with him until their foreheads were pressed together, his hot breath in Mingi’s face. “Please…”

“Not yet,” Hongjoong said, and Mingi thought maybe Hongjoong had misunderstood him for a moment, before Hongjoong lowered his face to brush his lips against Mingi’s. Not like a kiss, just a teasing graze. Nothing like the press of lips that Mingi was desperate for. “Be a good boy.”

Mingi whined, but he fought the urge to tilt his head up to chase Hongjoong’s lips, instead biting his lower lip and nodding up at him. He was half-hoping that would be enough to get Hongjoong to give in. Sometimes he did. Sometimes it was like he couldn’t help himself from giving in to whatever Mingi wanted, if Mingi begged prettily enough. Not this time. Hongjoong liked to edge him sometimes, or make Mingi edge himself, punishing him when he failed and came too early, and rewarding him when he managed to hold off for long enough to make Hongjoong satisfied.

And Mingi liked that. He liked it when Hongjoong was a little bit cruel, a little bit mean, a little bit punishing. It made it feel all the sweeter when Hongjoong rewarded him or was gentle and caring with him. Hongjoong always knew how to give Mingi exactly what he wanted or needed at any time. That was part of why Mingi had wanted to do this for him tonight. And now… now he wondered if he had gone too far and become greedy again. Had he turned this into being just for himself again? Or was he still doing this for Hongjoong?

Thinking back, he was sure that Hongjoong also liked it when Mingi was a little bratty. He liked getting to discipline Mingi, to be a little bit cruel, a little bit mean, a little bit punishing. Mingi knew that, they both knew that. They had talked about it before. And tonight, that was what Mingi thought Hongjoong had needed, which was why he had provoked him as he had, egged him on until he got what he got.

Looking up at Hongjoong, Mingi thought that Hongjoong seemed a little bit more like himself, a little more out of his head and a little more present. But what did Hongjoong need from him? What could Mingi give him that nobody else could? That was what he wanted to do, always.

“I want—”

“No.”

“Please…”

“No.”

“I’ll do anything…”

Hongjoong chuckled. “You always say that.”

“You can do anything you want to me.”

“That, too.”

“Need you.”

“You already have me.” As if to illustrate, Hongjoong gave a hard thrust into Mingi, after his pace had slowed a little while they talked, making Mingi grunt from the impact.

“No,” Mingi shook his head and then lifted on hand to cup Hongjoong’s cheek, before grasping his chin to turn his head and make sure Hongjoong met his eyes. “I need you. You. Hongjoong…”

There was silence for a moment. “…Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll do anything you want, always.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll let you do anything you want to me, always.”

“You will?” Hongjoong’s pace started picking up again. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah you will, you always give it up so easy.”

“Just for you.”

“Just for me, fuck,” he leaned down closer again, face next to Mingi’s as his breaths got more erratic. “You do anything I say.”

“Always.”

“You do anything I want.”

“Anything.”

“Just for me?”

“Just for you, Hongjoong, please.”

“Fuck, Mingi, Mingi, I’m—” He lifted his head so he could look at Mingi again, one hand dropping Mingi’s thigh and coming to Mingi’s hair before leaning down to finally, finally, bring their lips together. Mingi practically purred into the kiss, cupping Hongjoong’s face with both hands and wrapping his thighs around Hongjoong’s waist. He could feel Hongjoong’s hips stuttering as he came, biting down on Mingi’s lower lip and making him groan.

“I love you,” Mingi whispered when Hongjoong broke the kiss to let out a moan. Mingi cradled his head in his hands as Hongjoong used him until he was all wrung out. He slumped down on top of Mingi again, Mingi using his hands to soften the fall for Hongjoong’s face, thighs staying tight around Hongjoong’s hips where he was still buried inside Mingi. Hongjoong’s breathing was slowing down back to normal, and Mingi just held him, his own heart beating fast.

It took Mingi a moment to even realise that he was still hard. He still hadn’t been allowed to come. And maybe that would be it for tonight. Maybe Hongjoong would decide that he wouldn’t get to come tonight. And Mingi would just have to accept that. Wasn’t that what he had said? He’d do anything for Hongjoong? He’d let Hongjoong do anything to him?

He still let out a whine when Hongjoong’s arm brushed against Mingi’s hard cock when he was repositioning himself, pulling out of Mingi’s well-used hole.

“Aww,” Hongjoong said, tapping Mingi’s cock with three fingers. “I almost forgot about this.”

“You forgot?” Mingi pouted. “Please… I’ve been so good… Can I please come?”

Hongjoong looked considering for a moment. He rolled off Mingi, settling on his side with his head resting on one hand. “I suppose you have been.” His other hand came back to Mingi’s cock, and Mingi’s hips bucked up into the light caress of his fingers. “But I don’t know… You already came once tonight. Isn’t that enough for you?”

“Hongjoong…”

“I mean it seems like you didn’t need me at all, you were having fun on your own with all your toys.” He still seemed upset about that, though he looked like he was trying his hardest not to show it, trying to play it off as simple teasing. “You spoiled little brat,” he added.

“No,” Mingi pouted. “I need you, please. I was so good, I didn’t come at all even when it felt really good while you were fucking me. I’m a good boy.”

Hongjoong hummed, his eyes running down Mingi’s body. Then to Mingi’s surprise, Hongjoong lifted himself up to straddle Mingi’s waist.

“What—?”

“Push your tits together for me baby,” Hongjoong said.

Mingi didn’t understand what Hongjoong meant, until he placed Mingi’s hands at the side of his chest so he could push it together. He looked up at Hongjoong questioningly, but Hongjoong was busy trying to wrestle his trousers off without getting off the bed. Mingi tried to hide his smile before Hongjoong could see it as he returned. “Like this?”

“Yeah, just like that.” He looked a little wild again, and he lifted up the bottle of lube from the bed, holding it high over Mingi before turning it over and squeezing, so that cold streams of the thick liquid landed on Mingi’s chest, making him gasp. “Just like that.” Hongjoong used his hands to spread the lube over Mingi’s pecs, making Mingi moan from how good it felt once the liquid had warmed up a little. “Together – a little more, c’mon, you can do better – yeah, just like that. Good boy.”

Hongjoong scooted up a little higher on Mingi’s torso, until his cock was resting on Mingi’s chest. He used his hand to pump it a few times as Mingi watched it slowly get hard, again. How had he let Hongjoong get so pent up? He really needed to be careful of that in the future.

“Tighter,” Hongjoong said, as he guided his cock to slide in the little valley created by Mingi pushing his chest together. Mingi tried to do as he was told, and from Hongjoong’s groan he figured he’d succeeded at least a little, as Hongjoong started sliding his cock between Mingi’s pecs.

It was a little bit humiliating. Mingi wasn’t a girl, he didn’t have breasts. This was barely enough for Hongjoong to feel anything, right? He looked up at Hongjoong above him, about to ask the question. Hongjoong’s eyes had slipped closed and his hips were rolling smoothly as he fucked Mingi’s chest. He put one hand down over his cock to hold it in place and give himself a little more friction, leaning forward over Mingi.

“Fuck, your tits feel so good baby,” Hongjoong panted.

Mingi blushed.

His ‘tits’.

“I should’ve done this ages ago,” he went on. “I always wanted to try but…” He trailed off, before continuing to roll his hips, reinvigorating his pace. “You’re so good for me baby.”

“I am?”

“Yeah, letting me fuck your pretty tits like this,” Hongjoong said. “Letting me use you, any way I want, your ass, your tits, your mouth, anything I want.”

“Yeah, anything, please.” A hot spike of arousal shot through him and Mingi’s hips bucked up automatically, his cock rutting into nothing. “Please…”

Hongjoong laughed. “You’re so cute.” He reached his other hand behind himself to grab Mingi’s cock, finally wrapping his hand around the head and holding it tight. Mingi squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep himself from coming immediately into Hongjoong’s hand.

“Please, please,” Mingi begged, pushing his chest together harder even though it was starting to hurt. “Please, can I come? Please?”

“Not yet, sweetheart,” Hongjoong said, and Mingi tried not to crumple, but tears stung at his eyes at the refusal. But he’d promised to be good. He promised. He could do it. If Hongjoong didn’t want him to come then he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t.

But Hongjoong didn’t stop palming at Mingi’s cock, even as he kept fucking against Mingi’s chest at the same time. Mingi whined, squeezing his eyes shut and focusing on the pain in the muscles of his chest to try to keep himself from fucking up into Hongjoong’s fist and finally coming.

“Good boy,” Hongjoong said. “Good boy, just a little more, a little more, yeah.” His thrusts were speeding up, the skin on Mingi’s chest turning red where Hongjoong’s dick had been rutting over it. “Open your mouth for me baby,” Hongjoong said, and Mingi obeyed without thinking, sniffling a little. Tears of frustration were starting to fall from the corners of his eyes but he focused them on Hongjoong, who had lifted his hips up and started jerking himself off in front of Mingi’s face, the head of his cock aimed at Mingi’s mouth, pressing forward until the tip was resting against Mingi’s tongue.

And when Hongjoong came, Mingi obediently tried to catch every single drop, even as some splattered on his cheeks and his chin.

And Mingi still hadn’t been allowed to come.

‘Not yet, sweetheart,’ the words so sweet and cruel. Sweet enough to make Mingi feel like he was flying and cruel enough to make him sob.

“Please,” he cried, as Hongjoong used his fingers to feed Mingi the last of his come that had started dripping down his face. “Please, please, please,” he babbled. “Please can I come, please, Hongjoong, please. I want to so bad, please, I need to, please.”

He thought that Hongjoong would say no. He was so certain of it that he figured that Hongjoong must have been about to say no, before changing his mind. “Okay.”

“I can?”

“You can, sweetheart, I’ll take care of you.”

“Thank you, thank you,” Mingi said. “Thank you,” as Hongjoong got off Mingi’s torso, and reached his hand out to grasp Mingi’s cock again. “Thank you, thank you, god, thank you.”

Hongjoong’s deft fingers stroked Mingi’s cock expertly. Practised, the way only someone who had done this a hundred times could. The way only someone who knew exactly how to twist his fist at the head to make Mingi buck wildly, only someone who had the precise pressure Mingi liked down to a science, like it was a competition and he was going to win it, always, could. He brought Mingi close to the edge in only a few movements. The edge that Mingi had been close to for so long, now. He’d been ready to come again since almost the time he had emptied himself into that stupid toy earlier that night and Hongjoong had growled in his ear. He’d had to hold himself back tooth and nail, focusing on Hongjoong only, what Hongjoong wanted, what Hongjoong needed, what Hongjoong asked of him.

Now he could let it all go, as Hongjoong’s hand worked him quickly and efficiently, with no teasing or taunting.

And still, Mingi bit the inside of his cheek and glanced at Hongjoong, hands tightening into fists. “Can I really?”

“Yes, baby, come for me, now.” He leaned down to kiss Mingi again, and Mingi hurtled over the edge, his body wringing with pleasure as his orgasm battered him in wave after wave after wave until he could barely breathe. He still didn’t stop kissing Hongjoong, like Hongjoong was his only source of oxygen in a vast sea full of turbulent waves that threatened to bring Mingi under. He clung to him, fingers digging into Hongjoong’s skin, trying to keep himself afloat by holding on to the only solid point in his world that he trusted not to let him get dragged down to the bottom.

“Oh, fuck,” Mingi panted when he finally came back to himself. Hongjoong’s hand was still on his cock, jacking him slowly as Mingi whimpered, hips twitching from how sensitive he felt. Hongjoong kept going a little longer, until Mingi whimpered again, breaking Hongjoong from whatever thoughts he had been stuck in and bringing him back to the present.

He looked almost… surprised to see Mingi there. Mingi pulled him down for another kiss, Hongjoong’s lips soft and gentle as they kissed, and Mingi sighed into it, his eyes slipping closed, Mingi’s body still singing with leftover pleasure and fatigue. His eyelids were so heavy that he couldn’t lift them even when Hongjoong broke the kiss. He couldn’t open them until he started to feel cold from the lube on his chest, and strangely alone considering how Hongjoong was right there.

Wasn’t he?

Mingi’s eyes sprang open and he lifted himself up in the bed, but Hongjoong really was there, next to him. He was just lying a little away, not touching Mingi.

“Hold me?” Mingi asked, before lowering himself back down to the bed. He closed his eyes again, feeling Hongjoong shuffle over and then his arm came over Mingi’s torso. Hongjoong flinched as he landed in the mess of come and lube on Mingi’s chest, but Mingi didn’t mind. Not when he felt so safe and satiated, Hongjoong’s breaths a comforting reminder of his presence when they hit Mingi’s shoulder.

When Mingi woke up again, maybe an hour later, the bed really was cold, the bedroom empty. His collar was no longer around his throat, and it seemed that Hongjoong had wiped him down a little bit, as the mess on his chest was lessened from earlier. Mingi still felt kind of gross, covered in sweat and traces of come and lube both on and in him. It felt strange to be alone in his bed, but Hongjoong often got up at odd hours to work on music or design or whatever project he was currently occupying himself with. It was like he could never stay still or let himself be idle, and while Mingi could understand it to a point, as he also had a lot of creative energy that he loved to let out in different ways, he didn’t share Hongjoong’s all-consuming nature. It was always like Hongjoong was trying to run from something, or hide from something.

Mingi made his way to the shower, feeling stiff and worn out, but in the best way possible. He washed the grime off his body, and as his stomach growled he decided he’d try to cook something nice that Hongjoong could heat up when he eventually got back.

Mingi had just assumed that Hongjoong had gone away to the studio, or to one of his offices or work rooms. He wasn’t expecting to see him sitting on the couch in the living room again, head in his hands.

Had Mingi failed? Was Hongjoong still upset about what had happened earlier? Mingi had tried so hard to get Hongjoong’s mind off it, but if he had failed… Then, he would just keep trying.

“…Hongjoong?” he asked, keeping his voice low, trying not to spook Hongjoong where he sat.

He had almost expected Hongjoong to start, jumping up at Mingi’s voice. Instead he seemed almost lethargic when he looked up, taking a moment to focus his eyes and find Mingi where he stood. Mingi had a sour, foreboding feeling in his stomach.

“Hongjoong?” Mingi walked over to sit next to Hongjoong, allowing a little bit of distance between them. He wasn’t sure what Hongjoong needed right now, he couldn’t read him, couldn’t figure out what was wrong. “Is everything alright? Did something happen?”

“Hm?” Hongjoong asked. His voice was tight. So tight it sounded like it was about to snap. “Everything’s fine, go back to bed.” He patted Mingi’s knee awkwardly and wouldn’t meet Mingi’s eyes.

“Um… I was about to cook something, are you hungry?”

“Not really, but you go ahead and eat. Do you want me to go get something? Or I can call and order something? Maybe you—”

“Hongjoong.” Mingi turned where he sat, trying to get Hongjoong to face him. “Hyung, what’s wrong?” He reached for Hongjoong’s hand, finding it shockingly cold to the touch. It twitched, as if Hongjoong was about to snatch it away, before settling beneath Mingi’s touch. “Talk to me, please.” He couldn’t understand what could’ve happened while he slept to make Hongjoong like this. He wouldn’t even look at Mingi.

“I…”

Mingi tried to be patient while Hongjoong fell silent. Surely he would go on. Surely he would speak.

Surely he would explain.

“Hongjoong,” Mingi implored. He didn’t like feeling like this, feeling so wrong, because he couldn’t tell what was bothering Hongjoong, and couldn’t tell how to make it better.

“I’m sorry,” Hongjoong finally said, the words a choked whisper.

“What?” Mingi asked, confused.

“I’m sorry,” Hongjoong repeated, the words a little louder now. “I shouldn’t have—shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Done what?” Mingi asked, eyebrows knitting together. His worried eased a little as he gathered nothing bad had happened while he slept, before magnifying as his apprehension grew. “Hongjoong, what’s going on?”

“We—We never—And I just—just did that, all of that, and you just… You just let me…”

“Huh?” Mingi frowned as he tried to puzzle together Hongjoong’s words. He scooted closer, feeling like he needed to. He wanted to put his arm around Hongjoong but wasn’t sure it would be welcome right now. Not when he was still trying to coax Hongjoong into explaining what was wrong. “Babe, what are you talking about?”

There was silence for a long moment. It was a familiar silence in that Mingi knew Hongjoong wasn’t ignoring him, he was simply trying to decide on the words to say. Or trying to come up with the courage to say them. If he wasn’t going to answer, he would’ve said so. Finally, he drew in a deep, shaky breath. “I could’ve hurt you,” he whispered.

Mingi froze. He didn’t dare draw a breath, scared he might disturb Hongjoong or scare him off from continuing.

“I did all that and—and— I tried to check after but you were sleeping and I didn’t want to wake you up and I couldn’t see anything but…” He turned to Mingi suddenly, eyes frantic. “Did you check? I didn’t tear anything—Or–or–or leave bruises or—”

“Hongjoong,” Mingi said, taking a hold of both of Hongjoong’s hands that had started patting Mingi down like he was searching for an injury. “Hongjoong, I’m fine, I’m a little sore but that’s to be expected after all that.” Hongjoong’s hands only tried to clutch him harder. “I’m fine, I promise.”

“But…” Hongjoong trailed off, then it was like he deflated. He turned back away from Mingi, his hands dropping away from him. “I could’ve hurt you…”

“You didn’t.”

“We hadn’t discussed any of that before… I just… I just did all that to you, whatever I wanted, without even thinking—”

“We have a safeword. I could’ve used it at any point and you would’ve stopped, right?”

“We’ve barely used the collar before and we never discussed whether I could—”

“Hongjoong!”

“I…”

“Right?” Hongjoong wouldn’t look at him again, so Mingi went down on his knees on the floor in front of him, filling Hongjoong’s field of vision and making himself inescapable.

“I…” Hongjoong looked close to tears, and Mingi couldn’t understand why. He knew that Hongjoong would never ignore Mingi’s safeword, that wasn’t the kind of person Hongjoong was. So why was he hesitating? Why was it was like he didn’t trust himself?

“You would have,” Mingi said firmly. “I know you would have.” It hurt to see Hongjoong doubt himself like this. Especially when it was only because Mingi had pushed him so hard and so far outside the scope of anything they’d done before. “And what’s my safeword?”

“I… It’s… cement.”

“Good.” Mingi smiled to himself slightly. He still thought it was the funniest possible safeword. He’d mostly picked it because he was certain he wouldn’t ever have to use it, but Hongjoong had insisted after Mingi had begged him to buy the cuffs and the riding crop, mentioning something about colours. Then over the last few months they’d amassed more and more toys and accessories. Mingi had liked the collar a lot more than he had expected to and the riding crop just as much as he’d expected.

They’d never done anything like tonight, but Mingi didn’t regret it. At least, not for himself. If Hongjoong hadn’t liked it, though…

“What about you?”

“What?”

“Are you okay after tonight?”

“What do you mean? I was the one who—”

“You’re clearly not okay,” Mingi interrupted him. “I don’t even have to ask.”

“I’m fine,” Hongjoong replied, but his reactions were still slow, his movements sluggish.

“I’ll make us some soup.” Mingi made to get up, but to his surprise, Hongjoong grabbed his wrist.

“Can you… Can you stay, a little bit? Maybe?”

Mingi melted, his heart surging in his chest. “Yeah, I—Yeah, of course.” He sat back down on the couch, and pulled Hongjoong along with him as he tried to lie back and get comfortable. Hongjoong let him manhandle him into position, which was very unlike Hongjoong. Mingi decided to use the opportunity and get all the cuddles he wanted, lying with his head on Hongjoong’s chest and grabbing his hand to twine their fingers together for good measure. Hongjoong was unnaturally stiff where he lay at first, so Mingi tried his best to soothe him with his touch, stroking his thumb over the back of Hongjoong’s hand, before moving to play with his hair or tracing along the collar of Hongjoong’s shirt.

After a moment, Mingi started humming a tune, something they had been working on a few days ago, trying to keep his voice low and soothing, though it was a challenge sometimes with how raspy it was. Hongjoong seemed to like it though, as the tension seemed to slowly leech from his body.

When Hongjoong was finally relaxed enough that his breathing was deep and even, Mingi risked speaking up again. “You didn’t do anything wrong tonight, I promise.” He paused, guilt making his heart beat faster in his chest. When he felt Hongjoong draw in a breath, Mingi hurried to continue. “It was me, it was my fault.”

That seemed to stump Hongjoong. “What are you talking about?”

“I… You said you weren’t in the mood, but I thought… I thought it would be good for you to get some of your frustrations out and I wanted to help you… The same way you always help me when I’m feeling a little…”

“Wild?”

Mingi blushed, biting his lip. “Yeah… So I… I did it on purpose. I was trying to provoke you.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have done it without asking… I should’ve respected you when you said you didn’t want to.”

“Oh, Mingi,” Hongjoong said, wrapping his arms tightly around Mingi’s shoulders and pulling him close. “That’s…” He paused. “It’s okay, you didn’t do anything wrong either.”

“I pushed you—”

“I shouldn’t allow myself to get pushed—”

“But you needed it, and besides you can always do whatever you want—”

“I need to be in control of myself even if—”

Mingi’s stomach gurgled and they both stopped talking, and then burst into laughter. Mingi buried his face in Hongjoong’s shirt, breathing his scent in deeply. When he looked up, Hongjoong was looking at him with a fond smile on his lips, and Mingi was overwhelmed by the amount of love he saw in his expression. Mingi pushed himself up so he could kiss Hongjoong, giving in to the urge to press a second one to his lips before pulling back. “C’mon, I’ll make us some soup.”