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Tham! The door shut behind him with a loud thud. Finn–who was on the other side of the door–flinched. He wanted to go after and stop him, but something held him back; like restraints tied on his feet. Adrenaline rushed to the boy’s system, his hands beginning to sweat. He didn’t mean to say that—thump, his heart throbbed against his ribcage—but he can’t take it back, not right now. The silence around him was deafening, he hoped that the walls swallowed him whole. His body shuddered, he glanced down at his hands– they glistened in the light. Finding himself on the verge of a breakdown, he let out a shaky breath as he settled on the bed, a rather lousy attempt to collect himself. He brought his hands to wipe the tears from his face, unsure of what to do next.
—
Twenty minutes earlier.
“Finn.” A stern voice called out. He inhaled a sharp breath. “I’m talking to you,” The voice affirmed.
The boy concerned turned his head to face the voice, meekly. “Yeah.” His tone remained void of emotion.
Noah moved closer, arms folded at the front. “Talk to me,” The pitch of his voice dropped lower, quiet gentleness could be heard in it. The tone demanded seriousness, yet it did not seem to mean anything harsh. Finn moved a little.
He began, “Noah, come on, it didn’t mean anything.” His voice spoke in a persuasive—almost in a pleading manner. He was telling the truth. But Noah’s stare didn’t waver. His gaze contained concern, hurt and just the slightest glint of hope that Finn may say something meaningful. Finn gulped, his words stuck at the tip of his tongue. He has never seen him stare so intensely. Adrenaline rushed through his veins, he averted his eyes subconsciously, increasingly getting more anxious.
“Oh yeah, ‘cause I’m so convinced that you being with your ex doesn’t mean anything.” Noah reprimanded.
Finn gulped. He wanted to explain, to tell him that it only happened because he was being offered an opportunity for another show, and he had to refuse in person. However, none of these statements were uttered. Instead– “Aren’t you always with someone else too? Take Millie, for example— or even Caleb. You give them way too much attention.” He did not mean to say any of that. Noah’s face fell. Surprise, disappointment and hurt was written all over his face.
Finn flinched, the realisation of what he had just said struck him much like a bullet. The brunet’s lips trembled. A shaky, “What?” was all he managed in response. Finn’s face reflected regret and guilt. “That’s what you think?” His tone was harsher than before, the gentleness from earlier seemed to have ceased from the quality of his sound.
“Noah, I–” He attempted to recover, but was abruptly cut off.
“You know what? Forget it, Finn.” He almost yells, and Noah never yells, this was different. Finn was petrified. The other boy turned to face the door, his arm covered his face for a brief second and then it dropped. He rushed out the door and slammed the door behind him, leaving a tense Finn behind.
—
00:21 — Read the time on his phone. Finn was alone in his bed today, and slightly intoxicated (but just a little, he required something to cope with.). And that was strange, because Finn is never alone. They have fought before, but never to this extent—to the point Finn did not even know where Noah was right now and the latter never bothered to mention where he was headed, or left a message. He decided not to look, for he reckoned that the boy would not be very eager to see him at the moment. He decided to rest for the night.
He didn’t succeed in sleeping. He tossed and turned, restless. The blanket tangled between his legs, and he kicked it off. Burying his head in the pillow at one moment and throwing the pillow off his bed the next—he continued to get increasingly agitated. He checked his phone, and saw that Noah had posted a story on his Instagram. Finn, as swift as a bat, sat up instantly. He clicked the notification—It was a picture of him at Millie’s house. “Of course he goes there.” Finn spoke to the walls of his room; certainly not receiving a response.
His fingers typed a certain contact in the search bar. At first, this conundrum arose from his restiveness, creeping up to him like a critter. However, the worse of his qualities have always gotten the better of him– for the worse, he supposed. Jack D. Grazer— read the contact name. Finn and Jack were friends, still, of course. But they certainly had drifted away over the years. Especially after what happened when he saw him with– He discarded that train of thought immediately.
Hi.
Want to hang out tomorrow?
O
HI FINN
omg yes where??
I’ll pick you up at 12 tmr.
OK. ! :))
Well, this seemed to be a start of a bad idea.
—
Noah squirmed around in the bed, sheets pulled to the side and the blanket intertwined his legs—a messy position, and that’s putting it lightly. He lifted his body up with the support of his elbow, eyes still closed and hair disheveled. It took a moment to take in his surroundings, he blinked once, then twice, until finally releasing a sigh; he was at Millie’s house, how could he forget? It happened in a fit of anger, hurt and dismay. The moment he stormed out of the house, as if upon instinct, he drove straight to Millie’s house. His arrival was spontaneous, but that never meant he was unwelcome. Millie must have noticed the terrible mood he was in—she offered him something to eat, and then asked ‘What happened?’ When Noah said he would rather not talk about it, she dismissed the topic and let him be for the rest of the night; and he was grateful for that.
He picked up his phone from the nightstand, and checked the time: 12:31, he really slept in. Lying back on the bed, he held his phone in front of him, still in the disorderly position; he did not bother to get up right now. Still with his half-asleep eyes, he went through some of his messages, then clicked on Instagram—he saw that Finn had updated his story, just a few minutes ago. He considered for a moment, and then clicked on the circle that was his story.
‘Surprised’ doesn’t begin to describe the way he felt. He’s with Jack? Why? They don’t even talk to each other. Wait, does he talk to Jack without Noah’s knowledge? Why would he do that? Does Finn not like him anymore? Does he—okay, he needed to stop. Still, the question was tormenting him. At least that snapped him out of his sleep, he decided to put his phone down and get out of bed.
Noah made a bee-line towards the kitchen, preparing himself some toast with peanut butter and bananas on top. Neither Millie nor Jake seemed to be at home, he figured they were just busy. He took one toast in his hand and sat on the sofa, turning on the TV to watch a movie in an attempt to distract himself from the thoughts that currently swarmed his mind.
—
Finn, who was currently at a local park with Jack, felt immensely exhausted. Jack and Finn had not seen each other for months, so, upon hearing Finn’s offer, Jack immediately accepted the proposal. Finn only did this for his own selfish purposes—but it really started to remind him why he stopped talking to Jack in the first place.
They were currently sitting on a bench, talking to each other—or, well, Jack was mostly talking about himself or whatever; Finn could not find it in him to care. For the sake of it, he took out his phone and clicked a selfie of the two of them together, immediately posting it on instagram captioning it as ‘meeting an old friend :)’. Jack continued his babbling.
Even though he grew weary of listening to him, a certain word caught his attention immediately. He snapped his head in order to face Jack— “What did you say?” He spoke austerely.
“Um, weren’t you with Elsie? I thought you two were a thing again” Jack replied, a bit intimidated.
Finn jolted up from his seat, “Listen, it was nice meeting you and all—but I should go now.” He made an attempt to keep his calm, before Jack could even respond— Finn had already started walking to the direction of his car. He didn’t feel the slightest bit of remorse leaving him there.
He sat in his car for about an hour, reflecting on the things he had done. He stared in his rear view mirror and heaved a sigh, hands tight on the steering. He’s already messed up things with Noah, and he doesn’t even have the courage to text him now. He doesn’t even know where he is, how he’s doing, or does he even want to talk to him anymore? His train of thought seemed to never end. I need a drink, holding onto that thought—he drove in the direction of the bar.
—
The smell of alcohol welcomed him, accompanied by multi-colored flashing lights which seemed blinding but at the same time; too dim and loud music which seemed to sway people and accommodate their mood—a sight that he was all too familiar with.
He made his way to the bar, sitting on one of the chairs with his elbows resting on the counter. The bartender came to tend him, Finn placed an order of two shots of vodka, upon receiving his preferred drink; he downed them both in an instant as if an attempt to down the thoughts that clouded his mind. He ordered a few more drinks, already feeling tipsy from the effects of alcohol.
He turned his head to look at the crowd of people on the dance floor—everyone seemed to enjoy themselves there. The music reverberated through him. He turned his head to the side of the bar, the side on his left—drink in hand; he saw somebody trying to flirt with a guy and the guy seemingly refusing them politely. Right before he was about to avert his gaze back to the dance floor, he noticed that the guy was a familiar brunet, eyes that were hard to miss and the jawline sharp enough to cut paper. It was Noah. His Noah. And he seemed to be in a bad mood.
Finn immediately got up from his seat, approaching the aforementioned boy.
“Noah?”
The younger boy’s eyes seemed puffy, a certain indication that he had cried. Finn felt a thump in his chest. Noah gulped and looked at him.
“Finn?” He said, a hiccup followed his low-tone. His eyes began to tear up again.
“Noah.” Finn repeated. His hands, as if upon instinct, traced their way to Noah’s face, wiping away his tears. “Oh. I’m so sorry, baby.” Finn caressed his face.
Noah hiccuped again, “Finn..” He couldn’t seem to find the right words. But he didn’t have to say it. Finn knew what he meant, so he held his hands and dragged him out of the bar. They turned a corner in a remote alleyway, despite the bitter cold breeze that welcomed them.
Noah’s gaze bored into Finn’s. It was an invitation for him to speak up. His eyes were red and already seemed teary; they reflected sorrow, anger but most of all—they held a love for the person before him.
Finn’s lips trembled, he had to make this right, he began “Noah.” A pause, as if to collect himself before continuing. “Listen, I know I hurt you. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done th—” His words were interrupted by a sudden pull from the front of his shirt, Noah immediately closed the distance between them. The kiss was abrupt, short-lived yet full of desire. They both pulled back to catch a breath.
“I missed you.” Tears threaten to roll down his face.
“I know, I—” His words were cut off yet again by another kiss. This time, it was deeper, more intense and carried more desire. “Wait let me ex—” seems that Noah wasn’t in the mood to listen today because he kissed him again. Finn could taste the alcohol on his tongue, he tilted his head to deepen the kiss as if to tell him all he meant to say earlier in one swift motion. They shared a few kisses like this, just in each other’s presence—hardly any words spoken.
“You’re mean.” Noah remarked.
“I know. I am.” Finn held Noah close to him.
“And I left you.” He spoke into the fabric of his shirt.
“That’s okay. I said mean things to you, I’m sorry about that.” Finn caressed the back of his hair.
“And don’t ever hang out with Jack ever again.” Noah punched his chest lightly, but it hurt slightly because Finn was lean. “Ow.” He feigned hurt, earning a giggle from the brunet.
“Sorry, that won’t happen again.” He rested his chin on the top of his head.
“Okay.” He mumbled.
“Want to get ice-cream?” He suggested, Noah perked up, “Yes!” As if on cue, he immediately dragged Finn to his car.
“And you better delete those stories.” He said as he got into the passenger’s side. Finn laughed and immediately obeyed. “There.” He showed Noah his phone.
“Cool.” Noah remarked.
“Cool.” Finn repeated with a smile.