Archive of Our Own

"I come bearing gifts!" Buck entered the Diaz house with a flourish, brandishing a large box of expensive donuts.

The shift they'd had the day before had been — well, rough wasn't a strong enough word. An unrelenting nightmare-inducer, maybe. They'd managed to scrape through without any casualties, but each call had been all hands on deck, stressful from start to finish.

Usually, after a shift like that, Buck and Eddie would head out together to decompress. They'd share a couple beers, watch whatever game was on that night, and then, inevitably, Buck would end up falling asleep on the couch. Instead of waiting for him to get out of the shower, though, Eddie had headed out solo. Which was — fine. It was fine. Sometimes Eddie needed space to himself, and that was okay; he was entitled to his solitude. Even if it tended to make Buck feel a little out of sorts, he understood the decision. There'd been plenty of times over the years where Buck had needed to be alone himself.

Once morning came around, though, Buck figured Eddie deserved a little pick-me-up, so: donuts. As soon as he woke up, he swung by their favorite hole in the wall bakery, then made his way straight to the Diaz home. With Chris at a sleepover, he and Eddie would get to split the full contents of the box between themselves for once.

The way the house was built, the front door led directly into the living room. The first thing he could see when he walked inside was the back of Eddie's couch, then the rest of the furniture beyond that; the coffee table, the television, the fireplace, the leather armchair. The sight of it always made him smile.

Buck had told Maddie, once, that he wasn't really a guest in Eddie's home. He'd meant it then, and he'd mean it now. It had become even more true over the years, with Buck even living there himself for a handful of months, but he hadn't just been referring to the building when he'd said that. Eddie, was what he meant. He wasn't a guest in Eddie's home, because he wasn't a guest in Eddie's life. He could just... be part of it, no questions asked. He could swing by without a word, not even knock on the door, and Eddie would welcome him in every time.

Things had gotten a little weird between them after... well. After Bobby. And it was strange, not being partners at work anymore; Buck with Ravi, Eddie with Hen, Chim leading them. But they were still friends. Still best friends. Yesterday's shift had been brutal, so Buck did what he always did: he showed up.

The living room was empty, as far as he could tell from his position by the door. Eddie had never been one for sleeping in, though, so even though it was still early morning, he was probably puttering around, getting his daily list of chores done. Between being a single father and the irregular hours that came with their shift work, there was always another task that needed to be accomplished. Buck was pretty good at jumping in to help Eddie, casually helping out with household maintenance in a way that didn't read as overstepping. Or, whenever necessary, he was good at distracting Eddie; getting him to take a minute for himself, relax a little. This time, his goal was distraction, although he'd be happy to do some manual labor after they got their first few donuts down.

"Eddie," Buck called out, voice sing-song. He headed further into the room, rounding the couch so he could put the donuts down on the table before seeking out Eddie.

As it turned out, Buck wouldn't have to go far. As he made his way around the couch, he discovered that the room wasn't as empty as he had thought. Instead, he found Eddie spread out on the sofa, deep in sleep. He was wearing a tight tank top still damp with his sweat and loose, baggy shorts that had ridden up high on his thighs. Eddie must've just gotten his morning workout in, then passed out for a quick nap. He'd clearly had a blanket over him at some point, but it had since fallen off, and was now resting on the floor, leaving Eddie fully on display. He looked a little cold, a slight tremor running through his frame.

Buck gently put the donuts down on the table, then knelt to grab the blanket. Once he got on his knees, he looked up at Eddie, and— froze. The way Buck was positioned, his face was directly in line with Eddie's waist, his hips. His crotch. His very hard, very wet, very red cock, that was peeking out from the leg of his shorts.

Buck's brain short circuited.

It wasn't like he'd never caught a glimpse of Eddie's dick before. Firefighting didn't leave much room for modesty when it came to their locker rooms and their communal showers, not to mention the handful of times over the years where Eddie had been injured enough to need some assistance with everyday tasks like changing or showering. But Buck had never seen it like this. Never seen it hard. Never seen him so clearly on the cusp of orgasm.

Buck was struck by the desperate urge to get the soaked tip of it into his mouth.

Which... didn't have to mean anything. Sure, Tommy and Maddie had both accused him of having feelings for Eddie, but he was bisexual. He saw a dick, he wanted to blow it — sue him! It wasn't exactly a secret that he had something of an oral fixation.

Just because Eddie was kind, and funny, and smart, and hot — like, crazy hot, objectively speaking — and so brave, way braver than he thought he was, and living proof of what a good parent should be like, and Buck's absolute favorite person... none of that meant Buck had a crush on him. He just had eyes and ears and a heart and could see Eddie for what he was, which was, if not perfect, then certainly a perfect complement to Buck's own neuroses. Sure, Eddie would be a great partner for Buck, and yes, Buck would love to be his partner in turn; he wanted to spend every second of his life at Eddie and Chris' side, to show up at their house and never have to leave. But Eddie was straight. So no, Buck wasn't in love with him, thank you very much.

Before Buck could figure out what to do — get the blanket over him, wake him up, flee the house entirely — Eddie let out a whiny grumble, and came completely untouched. Small beads of cum blurted out from the tip of his cock, the white droplets almost glowing against his skin.

Buck flushed red, face hot enough that he suspected his birthmark was near invisible against his forehead. His pants had quickly become uncomfortably tight. It was really, absurdly hot, watching Eddie start to come. He wished it had been into his mouth. He wished, since it wasn't, that he could lick it all up after the fact. Which... was not a good thought for him to be having. He just — wasn't thinking of it as Eddie, you know? A pretty guy orgasms in front of him, yeah, of course Buck would want some of that. He was only human.

Buck had been so good about keeping himself in check around Eddie since coming out, though. Eddie had insisted that he was okay with his sexuality, and Buck believed him, but he didn't ever want to do anything that made him uncomfortable. The queer guy falling in love with his best friend was such a common stereotype, but that didn't make it their reality. They were friends. They were only ever going to be friends, no matter who insisted otherwise. He never wanted Eddie to question that, or worry that he wanted something more from him, because he didn't. Buck was so happy, so content, with what they already had.

And yet, Buck had just watched Eddie come. And he'd enjoyed it. Been mesmerized by it, even. Well, fine. He had eyes. Eddie was attractive, everyone knew that. Even Hen and Chim knew that, and neither of them were attracted to men. Buck, on the other hand, was attracted to men, and Eddie was a man, and it didn't have to mean anything more than that. It sure as hell didn't prove that he was in love with him. Because he wasn't.

Buck needed to leave. He needed to get far, far away from here, before he did something he'd regret, like wake Eddie up and beg to suck his dick. He let the blanket slip from his fingers as he clambered back onto his feet, only to abruptly freeze in his tracks as Eddie started to move.

The orgasm had pulled Eddie out of his sleep, but not enough that he sat up. Rather, he sighed, nuzzled deeper into the cushions, and sleepily got his hand along the length of his cock. Even with most of it covered, just the head visible, Buck found himself struck dumb by the sight. Eddie lightly thrusted up against his hand as rope after rope of cum spilled out of his slit, soaking his hand, cock, and shorts in turns. 

It was only once he was done, languid and sated, that Eddie's eyes fluttered open, and he caught Buck standing there.

"Oh, fuck," he said.

Buck's mouth opened, then closed. No words came out.

Eddie scrambled to sit up, frantically snagging the blanket off the floor to cover himself up. He stared down at his cum-stained hand, then shoved that under the blanket too.

"I—" he faltered.

They both stared at each other, eyes wide, faces red, no clue of what to say next.

"Want me to jack off in front of you so we're even?" Buck offered, bordering hysteria.

"Dios mío, Buck," Eddie complained. His eyes instinctively darted down to Buck's crotch, then back up to his face. It was supposed to make them laugh, dissipate the tension in the air, but Buck was hard. Visibly hard, he suspected, from the way Eddie's face had flushed an even deeper red. "What— uh. What are you doing here? Bud."

"Donuts," he said, awkwardly gesturing back towards the table. "I... brought donuts."

Eddie caught sight of the box. "Wait, are those from—?"

"Yeah, I figured we deserved a treat after yesterday, so..."

"Right," he said. "Right."

Buck shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He had to fight to keep his gaze fixed on Eddie's face, every nerve in his body desperate to take another glance at his lap. "Sorry, I guess I should've asked first. Before I came over."

"You've never had to ask before," Eddie countered. "I didn't mean to be— well, I was asleep, so—"

"Good dream?" Buck asked, because he had never been able to help himself.

Eddie groaned, slumping over. He dragged his clean hand over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose, hiding his red cheeks from view. "Don't look at me," he said. "I need to... flee the state, or something."

"Sorry," Buck said, although he knew he wasn't able to fully strip the amusement out of his voice. Eddie was just so cute, all embarrassed and crimson, like Buck wasn't notoriously a bit of a whore. There were much worse situations he could've caught him in — situations that Buck had been caught in. It was kind of fun watching Eddie squirm over something so minor.

The longer Eddie hid, though, the more it dawned on Buck that he might genuinely be upset. Maybe he had pushed him too far with that last comment. He knew sometimes he had a tendency to say the wrong thing, go too far, although usually he didn't have that problem with Eddie. He'd always been good at meeting Buck where he was at, good or bad. This time, he supposed he needed to meet Eddie where he was at, instead.

"Do you want me to go?" Buck asked.

"No!" Eddie said, quick. He jerked back upright, eyes wide as he stared Buck down. "I mean... no. You're fine, we're fine. Those donuts smell great. I just—" he shook his head, sharp. "Kind of feeling a little gross right now. I gotta get a cloth."

His eyes darted down to the blanket Eddie had hastily thrown over his lap, then back up. Sure, a wet cloth could clean that up.

"Or."

The word slipped out before Buck could stop it.

Eddie blinked, then blinked again. "Or?" he echoed, a confused lilt to his voice.

"Nothing," he said, immediately. If Eddie had thought his last comment was too much, this one would be like an atomic bomb. Buck hadn't meant to say it. He hadn't even meant to think it. "I mean. Something. But I— it's not— never mind."

"Okay?"

The problem was, Eddie asked. Buck had never been good at withholding anything from him. "I mean. Well."

Eddie sighed, shifting uncomfortably where he sat. "Buck, no offense, but I need you to get to the point here, bud."

"Or, I could, um," he hesitated. Buck didn't ever want to do anything that could negatively impact their friendship. Then again, he'd already stood there and watched red-faced as Eddie came. In for a penny, as the saying went. "Clean it up. For you."

His face twitched, then smoothed out before Buck had a chance to decipher what his expression meant. "You want to, what, go wet a cloth for me?" Eddie asked.

Buck could take the out. He definitely should take the out. And yet... "Like. With my— I could— I. Eddie," he stammered, a little helpless.

"Buck."

"My mouth," he got out. "I could— I want to. Lick it. Your. I want— please."

Buck searched Eddie's face for any sign of distress or disgust. He was straight. Buck was propositioning his straight best friend. Clearly, he had lost his mind somewhere between walking in the door with donuts and whatever instant he'd decided to open his big, fat mouth.

Eddie stared back at him, blankly.

"Please," Buck said, again. He couldn't seem to stop himself. Eddie had handed him a shovel, and he was digging his own grave with each additional sentence he spluttered his way through. "It doesn't have to mean anything. You're still— and I'm still— but I. Please."

After what felt like hours, Eddie nodded, just the smallest dip of his chin. "Okay," he said, barely audible. He reached his clean hand out, and gently pressed his shaking fingers to Buck's birthmark. "Okay. If you want."

He didn't think he'd ever wanted anything as badly as he wanted this. But like, platonically. He just wanted— he wanted— it. Not Eddie. Eddie was barely even a factor. He wanted... the situation. His cum. No, anyone's cum. Tangible proof of somebody's pleasure, even if Buck hadn't been the cause of it. It's not like Eddie wanted Buck, either — a mouth was a mouth, and he could close his eyes and pretend it was someone else, if that's what Eddie needed to do to agree to it. Buck would totally be normal about that, if he did.

"How, uh," Eddie gestured back and forth between them. "How do you want to do this?"

"Um," he said, thinking. Buck hadn't thought it would get to this point. He could barely believe it was happening at all. "Sit up. And then I can— kneel. Between your legs. If you're okay with that."

And Eddie just... did it, easy as that. He straightened up against the back of the couch, spread his legs in a wide 'V' shape. Eddie still had the blanket draped over his crotch, but he'd uncovered his hand, resting his forearm along his thigh.

Buck slid back down to his knees. Before he could get settled, Eddie reached over and handed him a pillow to kneel on. He smiled down at it, more than a little shy. It was a reminder of who he was doing this with. Of what he was risking. Of what he could gain. Not gain — Eddie was straight — but it was a new layer to their friendship, even if it only happened the once. It would, if nothing else, bring them even closer together. Maybe it could smooth out the last of the awkwardness that had been lingering between them for weeks.

Or maybe it would make it a thousand times worse.

Buck reached out, a little shaky. He circled his fingers around Eddie's right wrist and gently raised it up to his lips. He hesitated, peering up at Eddie, trying to gauge his expression.

He nodded him on.

Buck ducked his head, shutting his eyes to avoid seeing Eddie's face as he closed his mouth around the tip of his thumb.

The second he got his tongue on Eddie, before he could even consciously register the taste, his cock gave a hard kick in his boxers. Buck whined, and sank down further on the digit, all the way to his knuckles. The taste was — well. It was warm, kind of salty. Eddie ate a lot of fruit, so it was on the sweeter end of the spectrum, but it was still semen. Prior to this moment, though, the only part of Eddie that Buck had ever tasted was his blood. This was so much better. If Buck could live off of it, he'd happily do so.

"Jesus," muttered Eddie, left hand landing on the back of Buck's head. The shock of warmth sent sparks down his spine.

His eyes fluttered open at the sensation, and he peered up at Eddie through his lashes. The reality of the situation he'd found himself in was finally sinking in. He was on his knees, between Eddie's legs, with Eddie's cum-covered fingers between his teeth.

Well, no. His thumb had been cleaned of any last essence of cum. Buck let his jaw drop open, and he stayed like that for a moment, maintaining eye contact. Eddie seemed to hesitate, just long enough that Buck considered switching out his fingers himself. Then he nodded, short, and pulled his thumb out. He carefully replaced it with his index and middle fingers, and Buck went back to sucking.

After Buck had sort of forced his participation, Eddie seemed content to continue engaging. He pushed his fingers deeper into Buck's mouth, then pulled them almost all the way out, then back in. It was like he was fucking his mouth. Oh, god, it was like Eddie was fucking his mouth.

Buck let his eyes close, sinking into the feeling, the taste. He could easily stay like this forever.

After a handful of minutes, not nearly long enough, Eddie replaced those fingers with his ring finger, then his pinky. They were the least covered of his fingers, but Buck still diligently cleaned them up.

When Eddie finally went to remove his last finger, Buck whimpered; an embarrassing, desperate noise. He tilted his head downwards, forcing Eddie's fingers deeper into his mouth. It was a fight not to sink his teeth in to keep them rooted in place.

"It's okay," Eddie reassured him, gently petting him with his other hand. "There's still more, Buck, it's okay."

When he still didn't let go, Eddie tightened the grip he had on his hair and pulled him all the way off. Buck begrudgingly reopened his eyes, already pouting, until he noticed the way Eddie was holding out the base of his hand towards him. There were still specks of cum along his palm, and his irritation vanished as soon as he got his mouth back on Eddie. He carefully lapped it up, dipping his tongue into each crease along his skin.

"More?" Buck requested, not pulling his mouth away from his hand just yet. He continued to lick at the skin within his reach, even though there was nothing left to remove.

There was a brief pause.

"Okay," Eddie said, eventually. "C'mere."

Buck squinted at him. He felt sort of dazed, like he was drunk, even though he hadn't had any alcohol. "Where?" he complained. His hand had already been thoroughly cleaned off. What was left, except for his—

His eyes went wide.

"No pressure," said Eddie, clocking his realization. "Just if you want to."

Buck swallowed, hard. His first instinct was to say yes. Actually, his first instinct was to blindly lunge for Eddie's crotch, but he had just enough functioning brain cells left to realize that that was a bit extreme. That urge was followed swiftly by concern. He didn't want Eddie to make the offer out of obligation, because he sensed that Buck needed it. He wanted Eddie to want him— it. He wanted Eddie to want it. "You sure?" he asked.

"...Feels good," Eddie admitted, real quiet. Buck knew him well enough to know that it took a lot out of him to confess that.

"Mmkay," said Buck, pleased. He was glad he was making Eddie feel good. There was little else in his life that he wanted to do even half as badly.

His eyes dropped down to the blanket still covering Eddie's lap. Buck could remove it himself, he knew. But he was a little wary of touching Eddie too much, not knowing where his boundaries fell, not wanting to do anything that would cause him even a second of discomfort. Buck knew that Eddie would stop him once they hit his limit, but he didn't want to reach the point where Eddie had to stop him. As long as Eddie took the lead, they could avoid that issue entirely. "Can you, um," he nodded towards the blanket, gesturing for Eddie to remove it.

Eddie looked down at himself, long enough that Buck thought maybe he would change his mind. Then he pulled off the blanket, putting it on the couch next to him. The tip of his dick was still peeking out from the leg of his shorts, cum staining his thigh, cock, and the edges of the fabric. God, he was hot. Objectively. Buck was so big on objectivity.

With Buck serving as his attentive audience, Eddie reached down, fingers grazing the waistband of his shorts. He lifted his hips up just enough to push the fabric down to his knees. Eddie's cock sprung out, soft and wet from his earlier orgasm. His mouth watered at the sight. Buck hadn't seen that many dicks in his time, but Eddie's was real pretty, just like the rest of him. Long and veiny, like his hands. Thick.

There was a prominent dark spot drying on the side of Eddie's shorts. Buck's gaze caught on it, momentarily avoiding looking at what rested between Eddie's strong thighs. Without conscious thought, Buck's hands flew up to Eddie's knees, fingers catching against where Eddie's own rested. He sucked in a sharp breath at the contact.

There was a brief moment of hesitation, then Buck got his hands firmly around the fabric. He pulled them the rest of the way off, down Eddie's calves to his ankles, then off his body entirely. His thumb stroked the inner side of his knee on the way down.

Buck held the shorts in his hand for a moment, debating whether or not it would be okay to suck the fabric into his mouth. He was supposed to clean Eddie up, and removing his shorts was a part of that, but anything beyond that would probably be excessive. But he was so, so tempted, just to get the taste back in his mouth. He chanced a glance up to Eddie, and found him already staring back at him, face somewhere between amused and fond. Their eyes met, and Eddie shrugged, then gave him a small nod. Your call, basically.

Buck looked down at the shorts. Looked back at Eddie. He knew what he wanted to do, and Eddie had made it clear that he was okay with it, but actually doing it was another story.

Eddie snorted. He reached out, and pulled the shorts out of Buck's grasp. Eddie got his hand in the leg, flattening the fabric to showcase the area that was stained, then held it back out. Buck went to grab it, but Eddie quickly yanked his hand back. "No," he said. "Like this."

Buck's dick throbbed in his pants. Fuck, that was hot.

He lowered his head, licking a long stripe up the cloth. The taste of the cotton was — kind of nasty, actually. Buck's nose wrinkled, making Eddie laugh. He tried again, licking at a section with a larger concentration of cum. It was a little better, but not by much. It didn't provoke anything close to the soothing effect that mouthing at Eddie's fingers had triggered in him. He tried again, in case the third time was the charm. Then tried again, when it wasn't.

"Okay, no," Eddie said, pulling his hand away. He tossed the shorts somewhere to the floor beside him. "Enough of that."

"Hey—"

"I can see your face, bud. You weren't enjoying that. If you still want more, here," he gestured towards his leg.

Buck faltered, panic prickling up his spine. Yes, there was still cum on Eddie's thigh, but the rest was on his dick. His gaze flicked back up to it, then quickly away again. With the shorts gone, that meant he was only moments away from having Eddie's cock in his mouth.

It had been different, when it was his fingers. Those were just fingers. This was his dick. He was going to put his straight best friend's cock in his mouth, and then, what? They'd just be fine after? What if this was it? What if they did this and Eddie hated him for it after? Sure, he was saying that he wouldn't, he was letting it happen, but what if— what if?

Buck leaned forward a little, pressing his forehead against the cap of Eddie's knee. He breathed in, deep, then out, slow. He was fairly certain he was shaking.

"Buck," said Eddie. "You don't have to do this."

"I want to," he insisted. "I just — Eddie."

His eyes stung, on the verge of tears. This was his best friend. Their relationship meant the world to Buck, and the thought of damaging it made him want to die. The way he was trembling, Buck barely had the capacity to breathe, let alone think. He just— he needed—

Eddie got his left hand back in his hair, then stroked it down to the nape of his neck. He gently squeezed the skin there. "Breathe," he said. "I got you."

Buck did as he was told.

The heavy weight of Eddie's hand helped calm his racing heart. Eddie exaggerated his breathing, too, and he strove to match his pace, inhale by exhale. Slowly, Buck found himself relaxing into Eddie, letting the tension seep out of his frame. "This won't ruin us, right?" he whispered, after a few moments had passed.

Eddie slid his hand back up Buck's head, tangling his fingers in his curls. "It won't ruin us," he promised.

"Can you..." Buck hesitated. He wanted Eddie to be in control, so he couldn't make him uncomfortable. He didn't want to put the entire onus onto Eddie, though, because that might make him uncomfortable, too.

"Say it," said Eddie. "If I can give it to you, I will."

"Will you guide me?" he requested. As long as they were both equally responsible for whatever happened next, Buck believed that they would survive this. They had to. "Like. Lead me. With your hand, to wherever..."

"I can do that," he agreed. "You want me to do it now?"

Buck checked in with himself. He was still a little shaky, but he was good. Solid. Putting his faith in Eddie had never led him wrong before. "Mmkay," he said.

Eddie stayed still for a second, two, then gently tugged Buck closer. There was a small pool of cum drying on his thigh that Eddie directed him to first. Buck licked that up, carefully at first, then increasingly enthusiastic. It'd had more time to dry so it was a little tacky, harder to swipe away with a single brush of his tongue. He managed to avoid the urge to nip at his skin, but he sucked at it intensely enough that he wouldn't be surprised if a hickey or two ended up forming anyway.

The thought of marking Eddie up made him feel lightheaded. He pictured them at their next shift, Eddie in pants, bruises from Buck's mouth hidden beneath the fabric. He wondered if anyone would notice them in the locker room, or in the showers. He imagined them a week down the line, and whether or not they'd still be adorning his skin, if he'd be able to spot them in his brief moments of undress. Solid, tangible proof of what they were doing here.

Eddie coaxed him up higher, Buck's bottom lip dragging along his thigh, like some sort of pseudo kiss. He wished he could take the time to kiss his way up his leg properly; he'd line the whole limb with dark hickeys, if he could. When he got close enough to his crotch, Eddie wrapped his right hand around the base of his cock, gently straightening it up. Carefully avoiding eye contact, he lifted himself up to Buck's mouth, until his lips loosely enclosed around the head.

The second he got his mouth on him, Buck bluescreened. That was Eddie's dick. That was Eddie's dick. That was Eddie's dick. That was Eddie's dick. In his mouth. Buck had Eddie's dick in his mouth. Everything that he'd been insisting on fell apart, as easy as that.

Buck was in love with Eddie.

He had been in love with Eddie for — years, probably. Before Tommy. Before Natalia, before Taylor. Probably even before Ali. He'd loved Eddie during the ladder truck bombing and pulmonary embolism, through the tsunami and lawsuit, across the well collapse and sniper shooting and lightning strike. He'd loved Eddie through all of their worst moments, but perhaps more importantly, he had loved him through all of their good ones, too.

Maddie had told him it wouldn't be that crazy, and she was right. Fucking Tommy had been right. Everyone else who had ever looked at him and raised an eyebrow had been right — Christmas elf, anyone?! Who else would say thanks to the insinuation that they were married to and raising a child with their best friend, except for Evan goddamn Buckley.

It was always, always, people clocking Buck. Buck and his stupid, big, bisexual feelings. Nobody had ever looked at Eddie like that, because Eddie wasn't in love with him, because Eddie was straight. And that was fine. It was fine! Buck knew that Eddie still loved him, even if only platonically. He never would've agreed to this ridiculous, harebrained, horny idea if he didn't. Buck had been content with only having so much of Eddie before his feelings realization, and he would be content with it after, when this ended. It'd maybe break his heart a little, but then, Buck had always been good at that. He was used to it.

In an effort to distract himself, Buck sank down as far as his gag reflex would let him, until Eddie's cock was brushing against the back of his throat.

Eddie sucked in a breath, sharp. "Jesus," he said, the heat of it startling. "Jesus, Buck."

Even soft, Eddie was big. He could only get about half of him easily into his mouth. With Eddie's hand still holding himself in place at the base, Buck just barely managed to brush up against his fingers. He whined, deep in his throat, and tried to push down further. He'd had those same fingers in his mouth only minutes prior. He kind of wanted them back in his mouth, stretching out his jaw alongside Eddie's cock.

"Hey, hey, easy," Eddie said. When Buck stayed down, Eddie tightened his grip on his hair and pulled him up and off of his dick, not unlike how he'd had to drag him off of his fingers earlier. "Don't— hey, you okay?"

Buck frowned at him, a little teary, and tried to get his mouth back on Eddie.

"Buck," he said. "Buck—" Eddie's eyes flickered across his face, trying to gauge whether or not he was okay. He dropped his hold on his dick, pressing his hand against the side of Buck's face, peering intently into his eyes. "Are you capable of speaking right now?"

Buck blinked at him. Was he capable of speaking? Yes, probably. But he didn't want to. He wanted Eddie's dick in his mouth. He wanted to lick up the rest of his cum, then suck his cock until he got hard and came again, this time directly into his mouth.

He dropped his jaw, waiting for Eddie to give him what he wanted.

When Eddie didn't move, Buck pouted. "Please," he forced out. "Please, please, please—"

"Give me a sentence," Eddie said.

He floundered for a second. "Dear Eddie, please let me finish cleaning up your cum. Love, Buck." Half the words came out slurred, but he got his point across well enough.

Eddie snorted. "You have a job to do, Buckley," he said, tone lighthearted despite his lingering concern. He patted the side of Buck's face once, twice, then let his hand drop back down to his side. His other hand remained twisted in Buck's hair. "Don't try to choke yourself this time."

Eddie finally let him lean back down, and Buck immediately fit his lips around the head of Eddie's cock. He gently suckled at the tip, keeping his contact light. That's where most of the cum was concentrated, but it was also one of the more sensitive parts of a penis. Having just come, Eddie was likely still tender, and too much sensation could easily push him over the line to pain.

When Eddie started to tense up, Buck pulled off to mouth along his shaft. Eddie kept his pubic hair trimmed short, but some of the cum had dried into it, the rest pooling down at his base. Buck diligently got to work licking it all up. This wasn't a blowjob; it was a clean up job. He was playing the role of a damp cloth. His tongue was a talented actor that had worked hard to get the part, and was giving a performance that would later net it a Grammy for world's best cloth imitator.

He started with long strokes of his tongue, getting rid of the easily removable traces first, then went back over the same areas with a firmer touch. Then again. And then again. This was just supposed to be about cleaning up Eddie's cum, but there was no rule that Buck couldn't take his time and enjoy the process along the way. Once he finally reached the root of Eddie's cock, he pressed his face in as close as he could get it, and thoroughly sucked the last remnants of cum off of his skin.

With that, his job was done. The cum was gone; Eddie was all cleaned up. He was supposed to stop. Only... Eddie had kept himself stock-still throughout the entire process, the gentle rise and fall of his chest the most he had moved. He had stayed silent too, biting down on his lip to prevent any sounds from escaping. Buck desperately wanted to make him do both. He'd never get the opportunity to again, so really, why shouldn't he make the most of it? Until Eddie actually told him to stop, he could just... keep going, couldn't he?

Taking advantage of his silence, Buck got his lips back around the head of Eddie's cock. He gave Eddie a second to intervene, then when he didn't, he slid his dick deeper into his mouth.

Eddie made a choked off noise above him, hand flexing in his hair, but otherwise kept silent. Taking it as permission, Buck sank further down, as far as his mouth allowed. With Eddie still soft, and his hand out of the way, he was able to get him in slightly deeper than he'd managed before. Then he just... stopped. Stayed there. He tilted his head just enough that he could rest his face against Eddie's upper thigh, and he cuddled in close, mouth stuffed full. Buck flailed his arm up, patting around until he reached Eddie's left hand. He tapped his skin once, twice, until Eddie got the message and began to move it, gently petting his hair.

There was a not insignificant part of Buck that wanted to doze off there. Mouth on Eddie, his cock stretching out Buck's jaw, he thought it would be nice. Staying like this. Living like this. Eddie could use Buck however he wanted, as long as he kept him.

He let his eyes flutter shut.

Eddie kept petting him through it. He had been on his knees long enough that his legs were a little stiff, but it hadn't become painful yet. The rest of him was in such a state of contentment that Buck didn't think it would even matter if it did. He'd been hard for ages, but it was all just background sensation to him. The only thing occupying his mind was the heavy weight of Eddie's cock, and how it felt inside him.

Right as he thought he might actually fall asleep, Eddie twitched a little in his mouth. "Shit," he muttered.

Buck pressed in closer, refusing to let up as Eddie's dick slowly started thickening. He carefully swallowed around it, then did it again when the first time elicited a strong jerk.

"Oh, fuck, Buck," Eddie's hand spasmed on his head. Yes, he thought, fuck Buck.

He lifted himself back up into a proper kneeling position, hooking both of his hands around Eddie's calves. Buck gently tugged at him, urging him closer.

"I don't want to hurt you, oh, god," Eddie broke off into a low moan. His hips involuntarily stuttered, his cock pushing against the opening of Buck's throat. Buck whined, forcing himself down further until the head breached his throat. "Buck, I— Jesus, fucking— are you sure?"

Buck hummed around him, affirmative.

Eddie tightened his grip on Buck's hair, holding him firmly in place as he started tentatively moving his hips. Saliva quickly built up in Buck's mouth, easing Eddie's way. He sank into it, carefully breathing through his nose as Eddie's rhythm began to pick up.

"You feel— fuck," Eddie gasped, precum blurting out from his slit, mixing with the spit in his mouth. "You feel so good, Buck, you're so— you're so good— oh, god."

Buck whined, loud. His neglected cock throbbed between his legs, but Buck continued to pay it no heed. He was good. He was being good for Eddie.

As Eddie's movements got faster, Buck began bobbing his head in time with each of his thrusts. Every motion sank his dick deeper in then out of his mouth, the force of it causing Buck's eyes to well up. He prayed that Eddie wouldn't notice, but then, Eddie always seemed to notice everything about Buck, and this was no exception. His speed faltered, carefully reaching over to swipe the tears away as they started to fall. Buck shook his head as best he could, nudging him to keep going.

"You're being so good to me," Eddie told him. He kept his hand on Buck's face, holding his head up, forcing eye contact. "So good for me."

Buck moaned at the praise, working his throat around Eddie's dick. He hollowed out his cheeks, sucking hard, wanting so badly to be good.

"Shit, shit, shit—" Eddie's legs tensed up, his whole body stilling. His cock gave a violent jerk, then another, clearly on the cusp of his second orgasm. Buck couldn't wait to taste it. "Buck, Buck, I'm going to, I'm, Buck—" and he was right. Eddie pulsed against his tongue, ropes of cum flooding his throat. Buck stayed firmly in place, swallowing it down as Eddie trembled and shook above him.

"Oh, my god," Eddie choked out. "Buck, holy shit. Holy shit."

Buck peered up at Eddie through his lashes and winked.

Eddie carefully pulled himself out of Buck's mouth. Some of the remaining cum slid out in the process, spilling out from the corners of his lips. Eddie thumbed at it, pushing it all back in. Buck smiled up at him, vision a little hazy, and swallowed.

"C'mere," Eddie insisted, pulling Buck up and into his lap. He twisted so he could lay them both flat along the couch, Buck half on top of him. If anyone were to walk in on them like this, they'd make quite the scene. Both of them clearly fucked out, Buck fully clothed, Eddie in a slutty tank top and naked from the waist down. "Fuck, fuck, you're hard," he said, feeling the weight of Buck's cock against his thigh.

Buck tucked his face into the crease of Eddie's neck, cuddling in close. "S'fine," he mumbled. "It'll go 'way."

Eddie got his arm around Buck's back, gently stroking up and down his spine. "I wouldn't mind," he said. "If you wanted me to— or if you wanted to, like this—"

Buck shook his head. "Just wanted you," he said. "Well, the donuts. Then I saw you."

Eddie laughed, quiet into his ear. "Those donuts do sound really good right now," he said. As if on cue, his stomach gurgled, loudly. "Guess we worked up a bit of an appetite."

"Ugh," Buck groaned, sitting back up. It was so rude of Eddie, making him move when he was this comfy, but he supposed the donuts would be worth it. Once he got himself upright, Buck leaned over to grab the box, balancing himself on Eddie's thighs. He snagged two donuts out of it, passing one to Eddie and keeping the other for himself. They clinked the donuts together, a silent cheers.

They ate them in relative silence, just enjoying the taste. Buck felt like he should be panicking, and maybe he would start soon, but in the moment he just felt relaxed.

Once he finished his donut, Buck peeked over at Eddie, who was still working on his. A little shyly, he said, "Thank you. For, you know."

Eddie snorted. "My pleasure, Buck," he said. "Literally."

"I just mean, I know you're straight, so—"

Eddie choked on his last mouthful. "What?"

Buck reached out, eyes wide, like he was mentally preparing to do the Heimlich maneuver. "Are you okay?"

"Am I— yes, Buck, I'm fine. Are you okay?"

Buck blinked at him, oblivious. "What?"

"I just let you suck cum off my fingers, then my dick, and then you blew me, and then I," he waved his hand as if to signal everything that happened next, "and you still think I'm straight?"

Well, when he said it like that... "I mean—"

"I'm in my thirties. You think I can get it up again that fast for just anything? It was because of you," Eddie said.

"Because of, like, my mouth. And tongue." Not to stroke his own ego, but Buck was kind of infamously good in bed. It shouldn't be that shocking, his ability to make a straight guy come.

"Sure," he agreed, "and because it was you."

"But... but you're straight," said Buck, like it was a basic fact of the universe. The sky was blue, grass was green, Edmundo Diaz was heterosexual. Well, the sky wasn't always blue. Grass wasn't always green. Eddie wasn't always... well. Eddie wasn't at all.

"I don't know what straight guys you know, but none that I've met would ever do what we just did," Eddie said.

"I mean, I have."

He stared at him, incredulous. "...You aren't straight, Buck."

"But I was back then!" he exclaimed. "This was like, pre-Tommy. I've had my share of threesomes that included guys, or uh, bros helping each other out, right, or— and I was straight, then."

"No, you weren't. You just didn't know that yet."

"Oh," he said. "Yeah. Right. So you—"

"Not straight. Yeah."

A few times throughout Buck's life, he had googled what to say in the event that somebody came out to him. He'd only ever had to fall back on that knowledge a couple times, but he remembered the gist. He hoped it was enough. Buck wanted, desperately, to get this moment right. "Thank you for trusting me," Buck started. "I'm so glad you told me, and I— I support you. And I'm really happy for you, that you've discovered this about yourself. I hope it can... open up your life in new ways, and uh, make you happy. I want you to be happy."

I could make you happy, he thought. I love you, I love you, I love you—

"I want to be happy, too," Eddie said. "And I appreciate all of that. But in the interest of being happy... you want to try that again?"

"Um. This doesn't change anything between us?" Historically, that line seemed to work for Eddie. He could make it work for himself, too, eventually. Yes, Buck was bisexual, and in love with Eddie, and now Eddie was gay, and could maybe learn to feel the same way— but Buck could get over it. And when Eddie started going out on dates, snagging himself a boyfriend, then a husband, Buck would be happy for him. He'd stand at the altar next to Eddie — just like he'd always wanted, except he'd do it as his best man, not his partner — with a smile on his face.

God, what a fucking nightmare that would be.

And Eddie knew it. He could see on his face that he didn't mean a single word of what he'd just said. "One more time."

Buck hesitated. This was it. This was their make or break moment. This moment could break them.

"This won't ruin us," Eddie reminded him, like he could read his mind. Sometimes Buck thought they could, after being this close for so many years. "Come on, bud. Say it, so I can say it back."

He blushed. Say it back, implying Eddie would— that he was— that. Unless he was misunderstanding? Buck could definitely be misunderstanding.

"You're my best friend," he said, earnestly. Honestly. "And I love you, Eddie. In any way you want to interpret that. Every way. And you don't have to reciprocate that, obviously, but if you did... we already have a life together. You, me, and Chris. And this could be a good addition to that life, if you want it. If you want... me. No pressure."

"No pressure," echoed Eddie. "Okay. How's this for pressure," and he leaned in, pressing his lips to Buck's. This was their first kiss, he realized. Buck had tasted Eddie's cum before he'd ever touched his dick, and had sucked his cock before he'd ever kissed his lips.

Eddie got one hand along his jaw, and the other around the back of Buck's neck, tugging him in closer. Buck went willingly, crawling his way back into Eddie's lap. One kiss turned into two, then into three. Buck kissed him with the same kind of determination that he'd sucked his dick with, licking at the seam of Eddie's lips until they parted. Eddie's mouth tasted like chocolate, and Buck chased after the taste, turning what was originally a brief brush of lips into a longer make out session.

After a minute or two, Eddie pulled back, seeking out eye contact. "I love you, too, in any, every way. I want it— this addition to our lives. I want you. I want us," he said, carefully. No room for misinterpreting.

Buck's face lit up. He couldn't stop himself from smiling if he'd tried. "So, like... boyfriends? I'm your—?"

"For now," said Eddie. "Then fiancés. Then husbands." He smiled at the stunned look on Buck's face. "I'm a nester, remember? I nest."

"Wait, is this, like— are you proposing right now?"

"When I propose to you, you'll know," Eddie promised.

Buck grinned, a little cheeky. He pictured them at the altar, Eddie at his side, not his best man but his husband-to-be. He couldn't wait to get there. "Unless I propose to you first."

Eddie kissed him again, gentle. "Yeah, okay. Race you." They smiled at each other, so, so fond. So in love. So unbelievably loved back.

"You know what else I want?"

"What?"

"I want another donut."

Buck laughed, loud and bright. "Okay, Eddie. Let's eat more donuts."