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Daniel POV
“Come on Lestat, even you have got to get it-“ and that’s low i admit, some dig at his intelligence, but it’s also the easiest way to get a rise out of him “-you’ve gotta admit there’s a possibility that Magnus chose you for no specific reason, that it was random.” That you weren’t special, goes silent and implied.
Lestat for his part is sat in his chair silently, head hanging, disheveled blonde hair blocking my veiw of his expression. I only notice he’s crying when blood starts dripping onto his bare thighs. “You’re wrong.” He says but his voice is weak. “There has to be a reason…” he trials off. He looks so small like this.
“No there doesn’t Lestat.” I tell him, more gently than I expected too. Despite myself I’ve grown to like Lestat, to care for him. I still want my answers from him, but with each session it gets a little harder to break him for them.
“There has to be a reason…” he repeats slowly, sharp nails digging into the meat of his legs and stabbing. Blood starts welling from under where his nails are still imbedded in his skin.
“There doesn’t-“ I start again but I don’t have time to say anything else because Lestat goes super nova.
“YES THERE FUCKING DOES!” He screams at me, head snapping up to show his wide and manic eyes. Blood tears pour out of him as he sobs. “I COULDNT HAVE- IT HAS TO HAVE-“ he starts choking on the words as he sobs harder. Finally he curls in on himself again, crying loudly.
Finally, I can’t take this anymore. I stand from my chair and go to him, kneeling next to him. “There has to be a reason…” he mumbles after he’s finally calmed down a little and can breathe again. “I have suffered so much, so much, everyday since the day he took me. There has to be a reason he did this to me.” He looks over at him, shock pale eyes meeting my orange ones. “If there’s no reason then I’ve suffered for nothing.” He trials off.
And there’s not much for me to say after that. So I just gently take his nails out of legs and wipe some of the blood off his legs with my sleeve. Lestat just leans back and watches me do it while his hands drip more blood onto the floor.
“Kidnapped, violated, fucking killed… how am I supposed to live if there was no reason?” He takes a breathe.
“Why do you want to excuse him so badly?” I ask, because I can’t help myself and he looks down at me.
“I want to excuse myself. My pain.” He hold his arms over his chest protectively. He’s looking off to the side, like he’s remembering something. “If he did it because he thought I was stronger than the others, prettier, weaker, blonder, whatever- then I can live with that. There was some reason for my pain, even if it’s a terrible reason. A random draw…” he shivers. “I can’t live like that, assuming that.”
“Lestat.” he looks at me. “People don’t need a reason to hurt others, some have one, most don’t.” He crumpled a little, falling a little more in on himself.
“Everything I’ve done, ever terrible, monsterous thing… I’ve done it for a reason.” He pleads. “When I dropped Louis, when I cheated on him, when I pushed Claudia away… I had reasons!” His fingers dig tighter into his arms. “What kind of monster just-“ he exhales sharply. Oh shit. “just… just-” he starts hyperventilating.
“Okay okay, fucking hell Lestat.” I stand and grab his sholder, he trembles as he starts grabbing at his throat. “Lestat, you gotta breathe.” I tell him desperately. Louis would be better at this, I think rapidity, followed by, Louis isn’t fucking here right now. “You’re safe, no one is gonna hurt you anymore, okay?” He nods even as he keeps choking and crying, he can hear me then, he just can’t calm down. He squeezed his eyes shut as I watch his nails finally cut into his throat and drag down, deep cuts following the line of his fingers. Fuck.
“Listen, we’re done for the night okay? No more questions. And I’ll-“ fuck he’s gonna kill me for this. “-I’ll call Louis okay?” That does seem to get his attention. His eyes snap open. “Yeah, I’ll call him right now okay?” I say slowly, reaching out and wrapping my fingers around his wrists. I pull his hands off his throat and they go easy, his breathing still skaky but better than a second ago.
I manage to hold his hands a few inches above his legs, not quite trusting letting go. ‘Louis…’ i call through the quiet stream of vampire voices. I close my eyes and focus. ‘Louis…Louisss…Louis!’
‘Fucking hell Daniel, what do you want!’ He finally responds.
‘Just… hear me out, okay?’ I start and Louis angrily huffs.
‘If this is about Lestat, you can just stop now. He’s a big boy, he can call me if he wants to say something-‘
‘-Louis,’ I interrupt him. ‘he’s freaking the fuck out. He’s been sobbing and clawing his skin off for like 10 minutes, calling you was the only thing that managed to make his dumbass calm down.’
‘What? What happened? Is he hurt?’ There he is, the Louis that Louis has been insisting was dead and gone, the one whose heart aches like he’s being tortured whenever Lestat so much as sniffles.
‘He’s fine… ish. A question upset him, really upset him.’ I breathe out my nose. ‘Just… call him okay? And be nice. He happens to be particularly fragile right now.’ I open my eyes and smile at Lestat, who seems to have been staring at me this whole time. I nod and he visablly calms, muscle tension melting slightly.
‘Where are you guys?’ Louis asks and my eyes widen a little.
‘The studio, where else?’ I tell him and there’s a long and quiet pause.
‘Tell Lestat I’ll be there in 7 minutes.’ He says before the line goes dead and the other voices flood in. And that’s enough for me to drop Lestat’s hands and sharply inhale.
“What did he say?” Lestat asks me, voice weak and I focus back onto him.
“He said that he’ll be here in 7 minutes-“ and Lestat’s jaw drops.
“WHAT?” He shouts. “He’ll… 7 minutes?!” He shake his head like it’ll make Louis decision make more sense. “Oh my god- I’m a wreck!” He gestures to his bloody fingers. “I look like I got attacked by a tiger!”
Fucking hell. There’s no way these idiots are real. Suddenly Louis is on his way and a man whose panic attack nearly had him clawing his throat out biggest issue is that he doesn’t have time to powder his nose first. And Louis almost worst! Fighting like a rabid animal that he’s not in love with Lestat and yet, the second Lestat’s hurt hes bribing an Uber to speed him here.
“He’s seen you worse Lestat.” I tell him and he laughs humorlessly. However, he calms a little.
“I guess so.” He leans against his chair, clearly exausted. “I just… I already look so ugly to him, and now…” he shakes his head.
“You think Louis thinks your ugly??” I ask him, confusion dripping from my voice. He looks at me as I stand.
“You said no more questions.” He mumbles.
“No more interview questions. I’m asking you that as a friend.” Which is equal parts true and also a dirty manipulation tactic I should be ashamed of using in this current situation.
“…he’s seen hundreds of terrible sides to me, everyday he sees another, all with no indication that it will ever end, or that I have anything good to offer him.” He looks at his hand again. “Maybe my face, my body, are appealing to him… and yet…” he drops his hand, it dangles off the arm of his chair. We linger in silence for a good long while. “I think I will always revolt him.”
And I’m not even a little bit sure what to do with…that. Thankfully, and also horriblely, I’m saved by having to respond by Louis barging in. I smooth Lestat’s hair gently as he leans into it, a good bye. I walk past as Louis rushes over, bag dangling going over his sholder. He makes it in front of Lestat before he gasp quietly. I take my leave. Fucking idiots, I think as I take the elevator down. Somehow though, I’m smiling.
Louis POV
“Lestat…” I breathe and he looks up at me. He looks like a painting. Artificial but warm light bathing him from above us, bright red blood slowly seeping from gashes in his neck, pupils slightly blown out as he stares at me. His biceps and hands drip blood onto the leather of the chair and the marble of the floor, small wounds in his thighs also slowly gushing blood.
“Fucking hell baby, what happened to you?” I say and he shudders, looking down and away. Fuck. “Shhh it’s okay, I’m sorry.” I kneel down and open my bag. I’d raided the first aid box of my hotel before coming here, throwing everything I could in, including a few softer hand towels. I grab a towel and a bottle of water, wetting it before I start wiping as his legs. He breathes out in pain.
“I know I know, I’m sorry”. I tell him. I glance up at him and catch a grimace before he looks down at me. He smiles.
“It’s okay…” he mumbles. “I trust you.” And fuck. He did always know how to break my heart.
“Lestat,” I start as I bite my finger, tracing my blood over the now cleaner cuts on his thighs. “do you want to talk about this?” I look up at him again to find he’s staring at my hand on his thigh. I finished closing his cuts and quickly take it off. He looks to me.
He waved a hand lightly, going for flippant. “Just Daniel and his questions, I’m sure you are all too familiar.” He says, smiling weakly. I’m not letting him get away from this that easy, if he wants me to drop it, he has to say so.
“Sure, Daniels pissed me off before, upset me.” I raise on my knees to wipe the blood off his biceps. “Don’t think I ever reacted quite like this thought.” I tell him as I sit back onto my calves and look at him.
We stare at each other for a while, him staring me down and me unrelenting. Finally, his mouth twitches into a slight frown. “He asked about Magnus.” He says simply as I cut my middle finger, closing the wounds on his arms. I hum, hoping he knows I want him to continue. He doesn’t.
“What about Magnus?” I prompt, turning to face him. He’s much closer at this distance and I watch him glance down at my lips for a millisecond before he looks back into my eyes. He snorts.
“Something terrible, what else?” He leans back a little as I sit back to grab the water and a new towel. God… his neck. It looks like someone put him through a garbage disposal.
“Something terrible…?” I ask and his shoulders scrunch in a little. Like a cat before it hisses. Careful Louis, a voice suspiciously similar to Daniel’s says in my mind, he’s fragile right now.
“Asked me why Magnus chose me,” he says bitterly, “proceeded to insist it must’ve been some… luck of the draw bullshit.” He looks off somewhere far over my sholder. “Just… for no particular reason.” Jesus Daniel.
I don’t say anything, don’t move even, for long enough that Lestat looks back at me. “God Louis, not you too.” He groans.
“Hey, I’m not saying I agree.” I tell him. “I’m just worried about you Les.” I put a hand on his knee. “You hurting yourself like this, questions like that, I’m just… I’m just worried for you.” His face trembles in that way it does right before he cries and I put the towl down and wipe the dried tears of his cheek with my hands. “Come on baby, don’t cry.” I tell him and he swallows wetly, eye lashes slightly bloody.
“I didn’t mean to hurt myself…” he mumbles as I swipe my thumbs across his cheeks once more, completely unnecessarily. “I couldn’t breathe. It was like… if I could just open my throat, get the blockage out of it then I’d be able to breathe again.” He shudders. “Can we… could you fix my neck now? I just… I want to go home.” His eyes squeeze shut and my heart aches.
“Of course.” I lean back and grab my towel and a roll of bandages. His arms and legs had small cuts, easy enough for me to heal. His neck would need extra time, so bandages it was. I stood up. “Just, tilt your head back.” I tell him and he takes a long and shuddering breath as he bares his throat to me, eyes closing.
Decades ago, I cut open this very throat. Tried desperately to undo it, to put back the very blood I’m currently cleaning off his collarbone. I dab around the wounds and pray that each sweep of the soaked towel will make his pain better.
I close the cuts as best I can. “Les,” I start and his eyes flutter open. “lean forward a little, okay? I’ve gotta wrap the bandage around your neck.” He starts at the white wrap I’m holding. He stares for a while before he nods. He pulls his hair back, flinching as it pulls on sore muscles, and quickly drops his hands.
I wrap it around his neck as quickly as I can before step back. I silently hand Lestat the last towel, soaked in the last of the water, to clean his hands. I would do it, I would, but I’m scared it’d be too much. Too intimate.
He hands the towel back to me once he’s done, staring off into the distance again. “Thank you, mon ami.” He says and disgust roils through me. I had asked him to drop ‘mon cher’ when we had reconnected, and yet, I can’t stand this ‘my friend’ bullshit. “I appreciate you coming.”
“You would’ve come for me.” I tell him, smiling lightly even as voice suspiciously like Claudia’s calls me a coward.
“Of course!” He says quickly, like he thought I was asking a question. Of course I knew he would’ve come for me.
“Let’s get you home.” I tell him and he smiled back. I reach out a hand and after a moment of hesitation, he takes it. I haul him up. He pauses once he’s standing.
“Louis… may I ask you for something?” He says and I look at him incredulously.
“Depends…” I tell him and he shakes his head lightly.
“Non, nothing untoward.” He clears his throat lightly. “Could I, um, have a hug?” He asks and familiar peices of my heart shatter. I must pause for too long because he looks away and says, sheepishly. “We don’t have to obviously, I just-“ and I snap back to myself, pulling him into my arms.
I loop around his waist and pull him to me, resting my head on his shoulder as gently as I can. He shocks but quickly melts into it, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and holding me tightly. I can’t distinguish his heart from mine and a part of my mind, animal and vampiric, takes unbelievable pleasure in that. And when he starts to pull back, it nearly growls. But still, I let go.
“Thank you Louis.” He says with a smile. “I guess this is goodnight?” And god, I wish for a second we could stop this. Stop with the politeness and the formality and the platonic everything! I’d give anything for an hour with the Lestat of New Orleans. In love with me, incapable of going 3 minutes without some kind of romantic gesture or word or touch… that look that told me I was the most loved person in the world.
Despite the bright colors of his modern clothes, a nearly century long depression has made Lestat’s fire dull. Returning only for moments of extreme emotion on stage. And yet, despite my insistence on our strict friendship, all I can want in this moment is too see that spark again. Just for me.
“I guess so.” I say weakly. I pause for a second. “I mean…” I start before I trail off, his pupils dialate a little. He makes a confused face. “I’m free for the rest of the night… if you want to come over? Maybe we can just talk, for a bit? If you’d want to?” Like we used to, goes unsaid. He still smiles.
“Sounds lovely…” he mumbles.
I get us a car and he annoyingly taps his foot while we stand and wait. He looks fucking wired, I think he’s shaking. If he were human I’d assume he’d be trembling cause of being cold in his stupid leather and mesh and cut outs. I scrunch my nose a little as I remember Daniel explaining Lestat’s recent drug habit. “Lestat.” I say and he looks over at me, a slight fear in his eyes. “Are you high?” And the humorless and bitter laugh he gives me shocks me slightly.
“I’m sober.” He says. “Just… thinking, I guess.” His eyes shut tightly for a second before they open again, like blinking physically hurt him. He deflates slighly and goes still. The rigor mortis of it disconcerts me so bad I wish I hadn’t spoken up.
The car ride is silent, once it finally shows up, but it’s blessedly short. I walk into the house and he follows behind me like a ghost. He’s still still and quiet when he sits on the couch and I sit across from him. “Lestat.” I say and he finally looks at me. “What’s on your mind?” And he sighs, the breathe broken before he laughs again.
“It doesn’t matter…” he mumbles, eyes closing before he runs his hand through his hair. A spike of fear goes through me. “It doesn’t matter at all. I act like it does, I wanted it to but it doenst.” His sholders start trembling. “Why would it matter why he did it, he still did it. Is it really that much better to get killed for being pretty then to just be killed?” He looks at me, his eyes finally opening again. My breathe stops. “He raped me.” He says and my heart shatters. “I never told you.” He confesses.
“Lestat-“ and he shakes his head. I shut my mouth.
“I didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to admit it. Thought that it couldn’t hurt me if I just didn’t look at it.” He says quickly and I watch red tears start filling his eyes. “I couldn’t handle you knowing, you talking about it. Throwing it back in my face when we fought-“ And nausea rolls through me because that’s not an unfounded fear. “-and it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter at all. Maybe he had a reason or maybe monsters don’t have reasons, but it doesn’t matter. It wouldn’t make me feel better, it wouldn’t make me forget, it wouldn’t give me my body back.” He’s getting hysterical.
“Lestat.” I say again, more emphatically.
“I just wanted a reason, ya know? But it doesn’t matter…” he mumbles eyes glazing over as red stream down his cheeks.
“Okay Les, that’s enough.” I tell him, reaching forward and slotting our hands together. “You’re safe now, I’m right here.” He looks at me, the fog clearing from his eyes a little. “You’re right here, right in front of me.” I grab his other hand and he squeezes lightly.
He looks at me, hard, before his face crumbles and he leans forward. Suddenly, he’s heaving through sobs. “Woah woah-“ I start but he cuts me off.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry-“ he says through sharp breathes. I tug slightly until he falls into my arms and I hug him. I hold him tightly, rubbing his back with one hand and scratching his scalp with the other.
“It’s okay.” I tell him again even though I have no clue why he’s suddenly freaking out. Well, I guess I did ask for New Orleans Lestat, mood swings come with the program.
It takes me a moment to notice but he’s pushing against my chest light. “Wait…” he mumbles quietly, so quiet I’m positive if I were human I wouldn’t have heard it. “Let me go… let me go-“ he starts repeating and when it finally clicks, I take my arms off. He shoots to standing.
“I can’t…” he says sharply, running two hands through his hair. “You can’t do this.” He says, looking at me. Familiar anger rises through me but I stamp it down.
“What do you mean?” I ask him. I can’t tell if Daniel would be proud of this or if he’d be laughing at me.
Lestat takes a sharp breath. “You don’t want to be together, you don’t want to be affectionate. I can handle that, I can!“ he says emphatically, eyes tearing up again. “But I can’t handle this.” He says, voice breaking as he starts crying again. My soul dies in my chest. “I can’t hold your hand and let you hold me and be there, I can’t Louis, I can’t be your friend like this. I feel like I’m fucking dying.” He presses his hand to his chest. “I can’t Louis, I’m sorry, I have to go-“
“Wait, wait Lestat.” I say, standing up and he chokes like a dying animal.
“Please don’t do this to me.” He sobs. “I’ll push a boundary and you’ll hate me and I can’t lose you again. I can’t, I’ll die Louis, I’ll really die-“ he’s crying so hard I can barely understand him.
I hug him again, as gently as I can and he sinks into it. My hands are on his waist, and my chin is resting on his shoulder. He’s still sobbing like he’s dying. “Shh shh, Lestat it’s okay. Please stop crying baby.” I beg him and it’s a second later he’s gone from my arms.
“No no, you-“ he says before sharply running his hands through his hair again. “I cannot- louis if you don’t want me then why do you treat me like this? If you do then why do you treat me like this?” And I’ll be honest, I really wasn’t expecting to have this conversation tonight.
He looks at me, shaking hard for a long moment. When I don’t say anything he sobs and goes to leave. “Lestat,” I finally managed and he stops, his back to me. His shoulders start trembling and he starts sobbing again. Fuck, maybe i should just let him leave, I’m only making things worse.
“It’s almost morning.” And he sobs again. “Just, I’ll got an extra room, okay? Just sleep here.” He looks over his shoulder at me before he checks his phone.
“I’ve got 30 minutes before sunrise, I can definitely make that.” He says weakly.
Please stay, I nearly beg him, please i want you to stay. “I don’t think you can.” I say instead and he looks from me to the door.
“Tout ce que je veux te demander, c'est pourquoi tu me détestes autant, mais je connais déjà la réponse.” He mumbles in French. “Je comprends pourquoi, j'aimerais juste que ce ne soit pas le cas.” He continues and I curse the fact I lost my ability to speak it years ago. Between a hatred of Paris and doing my very best not to think of Lestat at all… I just stopped speaking it. “Fine.” He finally says in English. “Okay Louis.”
When he turns back to me and walks a few steps closer, I pull him into another hug. He finally reciprocates and I feel his arms wind around my torso. “It’s gonna be okay.” I promise him and he exhales deeply.
“I love you…” he murmurs and a familiar part of me dies as my throat closes around an ‘i love you too’.
The first time he told me he loved me, he had this look on his face and I knew he thought I’d say it back. He wasn’t necessarily angry that I didn’t say it, but he was definitely a little taken aback. That look, the one of surity that I’d say it back died a bit every time I didn’t say it. Sometimes, during partically sweet moments between us, it would come back full force but I never saw it after the drop from the sky.
I wish some part of him still had hope I’d say it to him. I want too, I just…
“Let’s get to bed okay?” I say and he nods, pulling back. I whip a stray tear off his cheek and he manages a small smile.
“Do you have any blood?” He asks and i genuinely cannot believe half the reason I wanted him here was so I could give him some blood to replenish what he lost today.
“Yeah, yeah of course.” I tell him, walking into the kitchen. I don’t ask him too but he follows behind automatically, which is a little heady. “What kind do you want?” I ask him and he shrugs.
“Is it human?” He asks and my eyes squint slightly.
“I’m not eating rats anymore Lestat.” I deadpan, half pissed and half exhausted by this old agurment. I stare at him and he stares right back.
“I was, for a while.” He says intently and his horrid delapadated house flashes in front of my eyes. “I wasn’t asking to make fun of you.” He chuckles a little, arms crossing over his chest self consciously. “Frankly, I’ve probably eaten more rats that you.”
My anger deflated the same time I decide now is not the time for this and take pity on him. “It’s human.” I say and he nods.
“AB negative.” And I grab it, looking at him curiously.
“Since when is AB negative your favorite?” I ask him and he smiles a little.
“It’s not.” He says, taking it from me. “It’s your least favorite though.” And my heart stutters a little.
“You… remember that?” I’m pretty sure i only told him that once. Must’ve been decades ago. He shrugs again, like it’s nothing.
I grab an O positive and gesture to the counter. He sits down on a stool and hands me the bag again so I can throw mine and his in the microwave.
“God I love being a modern day vampire.” He says whistfully, staring at the microwave like it’s the coolest thing he’s ever seen. The slight glow makes him look even more gorgeous.
“You want a straw?” I joke but he looks over excitedly.
Which is how he ends up drinking blood out of a bag through a boba straw. Somehow, I feel significantly more silly ripping a hole into the bag with a nail and drinking how you would normally. I hated being an old world vampire when the old world was happening, but Lestat has taken to the modern world significantly better than me.
I’m staring at him and he definitely is noticing it but blessedly, he’s silent about it. A violent pain wraps around my heart, like dying but duller, as i think back to a time when me and him could stand in a room together without one of us hurting the other one.
“I’ll probably need to sleep soon.” He says gently and my heart beats a little easier. I can’t believe how long I managed to live without listening to his voice. “The sun has been taking a toll on me recently.” I nearly say ‘maybe it’s all the drugs’ but I hold that back.
“Okay.” I say simply, taking the now empty bag from him tossing both mine and his into the trash. “Do you want a bed or a coffin?” And the shadow of a smirk crosses his face, I can almost hear the joke. ‘Where’ve you’re sleeping is perfect for me, mon cher’ a voice in my head supplies.
“I don’t care.” He says simply, waving his hand a little as a part of dies for the thousandth time tonight. “If you have it, a coffin.” I feel my eye twitch.
“Why would I offer you a coffin I didn’t have?” I say and he states right back, the same as he’d done each time I’d risen to anger tonight. Somehow, it makes me feel smaller than our old fights.
“You’re a good host and you have unbelievable connections, I’m sure you could get a coffin here in 30 minutes if you wanted. But that’s a bit too much effort I’m willing to request when I don’t have that big of a preference.” He stands and I’m reminded of our height difference. He smiles a little. “And i know you prefer beds these days.” And well, that’s true enough.
“I figured you would too.” I tell him, walking backward, drinking him in for one last second before I turn to fully lead him upstairs.
“…When Magnus kidnapped me, it was from my bed.” He says simply and my stomach sinks. “It’s been a little hard to sleep in one since, especially alone.” And fuck, I should’ve remembered that. He’d told me that before. I knew he had, at least the part about Magnus taking him from his bed.
I look back at him over my shoulder as we trudge up the stairs. He’s the same man as all those years ago, and yet it’s like he’s completely new to me.
How can I love you this much Lestat, when sometimes it feel likes I barely know you? Like you died in New Orleans and I’m just chasing your ghost? How can I handle needing space from everyone while needing you under my skin and flowing through my veins?
I haven’t had a single day of peace since I met you, I think of saying as I open my spare room. There is a bed with a coffin at its base, long enough to comfortably fit Lestat. Roomy enough that when I can’t sleep in my bed, I can curl inside I can picture he’s there with me.
“Here you go.” I say gently as he stands in the center and takes in the room. “The closest will have pajamas if you want them.” He nods before looking over at me.
“Thank you louis.” He says. Ah, there’s that feeling of dying again.
“It’s no problem, you don’t need to thank me.” I say, instead of kissing him until I can’t breathe and he forgets that three months ago I told him we were strictly friends. ‘Don’t expect anything’ I’d told him. God, sometimes I feel like such a fucking idiot.
“Good night.” He says as he walks towards the closet. He disappears from my sight as he steps inside.
“Goodnight Les.” I say before I stumble back, shutting the door. I stand there unmoved for a long while before I reach out through my mind.
‘He’s safe’ I tell Daniel.
‘No he’s not’ he says back and a shiver runs through me.
I look at the door before I close my eyes. ‘What do you mean?’ I ask him, like I don’t know. I do know.
‘Safe? His two biggest enemies are in that house’ Daniel huffs a laugh. ‘Three if you count the ghost Claudia that haunts you both’
‘You’re a real asshole, you know that?’ And he laughs again.
‘I know, I know.’ He says. ‘Just, don’t expect me to do damage control on whatever you do to him. If he gets high and sad I’m sending his ass right back to you.’ And I know for a fact that’s not true, Lestat won’t be here willingly for a while. Not after tonight.
‘I can’t do this’ he had said. ‘I feel like I’m fucking dying’ he had said. I lean against the door.
And if I whisper “I love you too.” to the wood, once I’m sure that he’s asleep, well... that’s between me and god.