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"Leo, I'm fine," she said, barely above a whisper. He was sitting in a chair next to the bed she was currently physically incapable of getting out of by herself. He'd been silent for a long time, hunched over and staring at his hands. She could guess the lines along which he was thinking. She could see it in the set of his shoulders.
At her words, he chuckled humorlessly. "Fine?" He looked up at her, and she flinched at the barely contained rage behind his icy blue eyes. "You call this fine?" He paused, just staring at her incredulously.
She wasn't exactly sure if he wanted her to answer or not. "I, uhm-" she started, but he cut her off.
"You were attacked. Do you not get that?" His voice was starting to shake as it went up in volume. She buckled under the weight of his gaze and looked away, not bothering to answer him this time. She felt like a child suddenly who had been caught breaking some rule, and though she knew she hadn't done anything wrong, she was fighting hard to resist the urge to apologize to Leo. If for nothing else, than at least for making him worry.
"You were attacked, and I wasn't there," he said quietly. She wanted desperately for him to stop talking. She knew he was blaming himself for what happened, knew there was nothing she was going to be able to say to derail that thought, had anticipated this conversation. But hearing him say the words out loud made it too real, hurt too much. She could practically feel the waves of guilt rolling off him, and it made her feel sick to her stomach.
"Stop it, Leo," she begged, tears starting to well up.
"I should have been there!" he shouted at her, getting up and starting to pace back and forth next to the bed. "I'm supposed to keep you safe! I'm supposed to keep an eye on you!" With every word out of him, she was more and more certain he was yelling at himself rather than at her.
Something about his words twisted something in her, and her timid guilt switched to irritation. "Keep an eye on me?" She looked up at him finally and struggled to sit up in the bed, wincing as her cracked rib send lightning bolts of pain through her. "I'm not a fucking kid, Leonardo. I'm not completely useless, and as you can see, I was able to handle it on my own," she bit out, refusing to acknowledge that the only reason she was able to fight off the man was because of Leo's training.
He paused midstep, surprised at her harsh tone. He'd never heard her curse before, didn't like the ugly word from her mouth. But she was right. She wasn't a child that needed supervision like he'd made it sound. He hated himself for not being there all the same, but he wasn't helping the situation this way. He shook his head slowly, at himself really, and knelt next to the bed. To her surprise, he leaned over her, wrapping his arms around her middle as gently as he could, and buried his face in her lap.
"I can't lose you," he whispered into the blanket covering her legs. Her irritation with him softened instantly. He was just frightened. Truthfully, she had been too. She'd been on the ground, barely conscious, for goodness knows how long before Mikey happened to come by on patrol. She'd fought back well enough so that after a couple good hits, her attacker had cut his losses and run off. But he'd done some serious damage to her skull and ribcage, and after he'd left she'd collapsed on the sidewalk, barely able to breathe or function at all. As her vision faded, all she could think was that she hoped she'd get to see Leo again.
"It's okay," she whispered back. And really, it was, because above the fear, and above the pain her body was in, she was just so relieved that she did get to see him again.
