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Sam could feel the sun on his back, the rays seeping in through the curtains and bathing the bare room in a warm orange glow. The body in his arms squirmed.
This isn’t the first time this had happened. Hell, he’d done it a few times, too… that’s what happens when you’ve been through so much shit. He’d fallen asleep with Raiden firmly embraced in his arms, the both of them sleeping above the covers because it was just too warm for them to sleep beneath them in the summer nights; not that it bothered Raiden all that much, seeing as he never really felt the temperature anymore.
Still there Sam was, releasing Raiden from his grip instead to sit up and lightly run his fingers through Raiden’s hair, making sure he wasn’t tugging it in any way. He didn’t want to worsen the nightmare the blond was having.
Raiden thrashed in the bed, his eyebrows knitted together, his mouth open wide in a silent scream. Sam tried to hush him, tried to ground him with his fingers. Raiden let out a shrill scream, “Sam!”
Sam’s heart fell. No matter how many times they went through this, no matter how many times he told him it was okay, Raiden was still having these awful nightmares. “It’s ok, Jack,” he cooed, “I’m here. I’m ok, meu amor.”
Raiden let out a strangled breath and Sam could see, through the tightly shut lids, tears coming from Raiden’s eyes. He placed two fingers on the back of Raiden’s hand and slowly traced small circles into it, adding a little pressure over time, the hand in his hair doing the same. “No,” Raiden breathed.
“I’m here. I’ve got you. I’m ok. You’re ok.” God, he felt so useless whenever this happened. All he wanted was to take the pain away, kiss away the nightmares, hug out all of the fear… But Sam knew that it didn’t work like that, and forcefully waking someone up from such a nightmare was never a good idea… Once or twice he’d done that and been rewarded with, well, violence. Still, it wasn’t Raiden’s fault.
They’d talked about this, gone through it so often; Sam knew what he had to do. He continued carding his fingers through Raiden’s hair, tracing circles on his hand, making sure not to tug or add too much pressure. He hummed, deep, and low in his chest, giving Raiden a noise to ground himself on as well. Raiden’s eyes fluttered and scrunched again.
Sam braced himself.
In a moment, Raiden was upright, panting and shaking. Immediately, Sam lightly placed his hand over his, making sure not to make him feel trapped. Sam shifted and whispered to Raiden, “I’m here.”
Raiden’s shaking slowed, his breath still coming in pants, and the glassy gaze that had been staring at the door sharpened and focused on Sam’s worried gaze. “Sam?”
“That’s right, Jack, I’m here,” he breathed, “I’m here, bonito,” he smiled softly, trying not to be too scared about the situation. No matter how many times they did this it still frightened him to see Raiden so beaten up about the past.
“You… I-,” he choked on his breath and the shaking came back, “Oh, God. Fuck, you were dead. I thought-”
Sam hushed him, knowing now it was ok to hug him. He embraced him tightly and pressed soft kisses to his temple every time he sobbed. Raiden shook violently, broken words pouring out of his mouth as he tried to relay the dream to Sam. “I know…” Sam rocked him gently and hummed in his chest again.
“I killed you, Sam…” Raiden managed quietly.
Sam didn’t reply, just rocked him lightly, pressing his lips to Raiden’s head as he did. Slowly the shaking stopped and Raiden’s breath gradually returned to normal and the tears slowed, the only evidence that this had happened were the little sniffles that always come after someone cries.
Sam pulled Raiden back gently and looked deeply into his eyes. He cupped his hand around Raiden’s face and smiled softly as if he were asking if Raiden was okay. Raiden closed his eyes and nodded slowly, leaning into the touch. The tension released from his shoulders and he let out a shaky sigh. He opened his eyes again and smiled at the loving expression that Sam was giving him.
Sam leaned in slowly, letting Raiden know, without words, that he could pull back if this wasn’t something that he needed right now. Their lips brushed but momentarily, Raiden’s lip trembling beneath Sam’s. Sam pulled back halfway, opting instead to place his forehead against Raiden’s and look once more into his eyes, still grounding him. His hand was still on his face, the other stroking across his back oh-so-slowly.
“Hey,” he started, making sure Raiden was looking at him; that he was listening. “I’m with you, okay?”
A small sob forced its way from Raiden’s lips and he clung onto Sam desperately as he pulled him close again.
“Always.”